Funny / The Great Alicorn Hunt

This story has a "Humor" tag for a reason, and plenty of moments will make you crack up in laughter.

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• The very first paragraph serves as a snarky Take That! at the synopsis of Magical Mystery Cure and a brief recap of Parting Words by the Lemony Narrator.
  In another time, another place, an alicorn Princess sent her faithful student a final test— an unfinished spell by the greatest unicorn mage in Equestrian history. After a near-disastrous first effort, the student finally solved the riddle of the spell, completed it, and was transformed (as her mentor had planned) into an alicorn princess.

  This is not that time and place.
  ...
  In brief, the key difference in this time and place was that, when Twilight received a certain notebook by a certain Starswirl the Bearded from a certain Princess, she actually had half a clue as to what she was doing the FIRST time...
• When the newly-ascended Mane 6 enter the courtroom with Celestia and Luna, the whole courtroom stops what they are doing and promptly stares in slack-jawed shock.
• When Luna was six years old, she had a klaxon installed in Canterlot Castle, to be sounded in the event of invasion by giant snails. Some dope sets it off in the middle of all the confusion over the Mane Six's ascension, waking Luna from a sound sleep, and we get this:
  Celestia: My Little Ponies, calm yourselves. The ascendancy is not a crisis! It is a proud and glorious day for Equestria. There is no reason for anypony to succumb to panic—
  Luna (Galloping past in pajamas and bunny slippers) : The snails! The snails are finally here! Raise the drawbridge! Lower the portcullis! Man the battlements! Fetch the Morton's Salt! It is the end, the sticky sticky end!!
  Celestia: —No rational reason for anypony to succumb to panic.
• Celestia and Luna ordering all their guards to leave the throne room, so that nobody apart from the newly ascended Alicorns can see them do the Happy Hoofy Dance.
• While Pinkie does have a point, the way she picks Luna to go with her to try to find the nascent alicorns takes the cake.
• The footnotes at the end of the chapters. Though to be fair, the author has a penchant for them in his stories.
• When the Mane Six's Alicorn ascension causes Golden Oaks Library to explode, Spike climbs out of the basement wearing a hard hat and doesn't even blink at the extent of the destruction. He'd even started taking his naps down there the minute Twilight got Starswirl's notebook, just for good measure.
  • Then later, when the Mane Six make Shining Armor into an Alicorn, he puts on a helmet and takes cover behind a sandbag bunker.
• This:
  "Oh my," Rarity said, flexing her new swan-like pinions. She pirouetted on one hoof, fanning them for best effect. "No need to panic, girls. In fact I think I rather like..." then she glanced over and saw a gleefully grinning Pinkie Pie poking and prodding at her own new wings and unicorn horn.
  "Oh boy oh boy oh boy, does this mean I can do magic now too?"
  "GOD HAVE MERCY ON OUR SOULS!" Rarity screamed, eyes staring in horror.
• An amusing part where narration doesn't match what a character does.
  Even as barely conscious as [Celestia] was, she knew this was deathly important, a moment that required that she make some profound meaningful statement or other, something ringing of venerable wisdom and cosmic insight.
  "Ebbeh" she said.
  • Cadence does the exact same thing when she senses Shining Armor's ascension.
• When Fluttershy's family is revealed to all be just like her, Sweetie Belle once again says, "OH COME ON!"
  • And Babs Seed wins the betting pool that everypony had going on how the family would act.
  • Also, the CMC's reaction to her little brother Breezy Shy, also known as Bishi.
  "Can we keep him?"
  • The fact that Fluttershy's meeting with her parents is so cute that no less than eight guards suffer insulin shock.
• Twilight Sparkle tasting the special recipe cupcakes of Pinkie's mother...dark chocolate with Tabasco frosting. At least it confirms the CMC and Bishie that their relatives won't change...
  "If they still want to," Bishi said quietly. His dewy blue eyes filled with worry. "What if being an Alicorn changes them? I mean... with all that magic and immortality and stuff they could start getting all weird—"
  At that moment Twilight Sparkle burst into the ice cream shop. She was ranting and hooting and gabbling in what sounded like demented Zebrican, eyes and nose gushing, smoke pouring out of her mouth and ears. She ran to the counter, dancing a mad tarantella, and threw down a hoof full of bits. " Gimme I'cree, hot hot hot HOT HOT—'nilla! Nilla I'cree!"
  The pony behind the counter shrank back, holding up his ice cream scoop defensively. "Wha wha, hu how much? A cone? Two scoops?"
  "ALL OB ID!" Twilight screamed, pointing a hoof at the tub behind the counter. The soda jerk jumped and scrambled to hoof over the freshly opened bucket. As soon as it was up on the counter, Twilight grabbed it. She rammed her entire head in, mouth wide open. Steam rolled up; she sagged in relief, the only signs of life the occasional "blurp" as she gulped her way to the bottom.
  The foals stared silently at the spectacle. "Well," Sweetie Belle said finally, "She seems about the same..."
• The Take That! at the Winter Wrap-Up. Especially the part about the snow (as it happens, leaving it there would be actually better: it melts faster, and without plowing they won't scrape away the old grass, flowers, and topsoil). Turns out it was an idea of Ponyville's first mayor, who-Well, the narration says it better.
  "Soup Sandwich, the first mayor of Ponyville," Applejack said. "You seen his statue in the town square."
  Twilight paused. "The one wearing pants."
  "Ayep."
  "On his head."
  There was a brief pause as Applejack, for the first time, reflected on the advisability of trusting the wisdom of a pony who routinely wore his trousers for a hat. "...Um... ayep."
  Twilight gave her a thousand yard stare. "I'm starting to see which way this is going..."
  • Also, the various Take Thats at some of the most epic moments of the series. Especially this one:
  "Commander Spitfire, let me get this straight. You want to suck all the water out of our reservoir with a giant tornado, all the way up to Cloudsdale, so that you can make clouds and rain it back down— to, among other things, fill up our reservoir. Could I possibly interest you in this naturally occurring law of physics known as evaporation...?"
• Shining Armor's reaction to the spontaneous Alicorn ascending ritual that his sister sprung on him in the middle of the night?
  "I'M TELLING MOM!"
  • There's also the... unfortunate side-effect they discover after casting the spell. While a fully grown unicorn, his Pegasus and earth-pony sides have been newly awakened/born... resulting in itty-bitty baby wings.
• From the Junior Gala:
  • Apple Bloom repeatedly discovering exactly what the good food she ate was;
    • Some chapters later it happened again when with Apple Bloom was at a fair and learned how honey is made. From the same pony.
  • Sweetie Belle having a good dance with Bishi, only for the consequences of the above to ruin the mood;
  "BLEEEEAEEAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHH."
  Expressions of surprise, confusion and (in one corner of the room) disgust filled the air. "Oh dear," Bishi said, looking over other ponies' heads in consternation. "I hope that poor moose is all right!"
  Sweetie Belle felt the mood shatter like a champagne glass under a sledgehammer. "Oh, no..." she moaned. "Darn you, Apple Bloom..." She started hustling in the direction of the disturbance.
  Bishi looked at her in surprise. "What makes you think that's Apple Bloom?"
  Sweetie Belle looked over her shoulder at him. "The last time I heard that sound, she and Scootaloo had just had an ice-cream eating contest."
  "Um. Who won?" Breezy Shy couldn't help asking.
  "Nobody. I was sitting between 'em."
  • Sweetie Belle murdering the stuck-up fillies' claims of having their expensive dresses ruined by Apple Bloom by revealing they were copies and how she knew (jury's out on whether or not she was doing it on purpose but it's hilarious either way);
  • Babs Seed vs. the rookie Royal Guard;
  • Sweetie Belle shooting magic firecrackers at a stuck-up filly's hooves and shouting, "Dance, varmint!"
  • And as the worthy crowner, Discord's reaction when he shows up with Luna (who had left to bring him there) and finds the results of the fight against Babs Seed's bullies: "Oh Luna—-And here I thought you'd forgotten my birthday!"
• Rarity's entire reaction to Sweetie Belle's solution to the CMC's harem problems with Bishi, as well as Rarity trying (and failing) to convince her otherwise. Even better is that Celestia told her it was legal and may have been where she got the idea in the first place.
• The captain of the Twilight Guard? Flash Sentry. Naturally, Twilight has a problem behaving around him. The best part? He was chosen by Celestia herself.
  • Gets even more hilarious later on. Especially considering it's Pinkie Pie who accidentally reveals Twilight's crush on Flash.
    Applejack:" And what about you, Twi? You gettin' along well with your bunch?"
    Twilight: "(blushes) Um, yes, of course. The servants are all very professional, and I have four maidservants who help me with all the personal preparations. I'll be meeting with the staff of scholars I picked when we arrive in Manehattan tomorrow, but they seem nice enough."
    Applejack: "And your Guard?"
    Twilight: "Are....very professional. Their captain is Flash Sentry"
    Pinkie: (innocently) "What's he like?"
    Twilight: (her cheeks turn very red and she doesn't say anything)
    Rarity: "Ohohoho. Our little Twilight's grown now. She's discovered boys!"
• Luna explaining that she's getting a bit...tense... after not having sex for a millennium and a half.
  • What's worse for Luna, living in the hard and unforgiving world of 1000 years ago had "conditioned her to crave a stallion that looked like he can take a sledgehammer blow without flinching." As it turns out however, every stallion in the Bouncer Brigade (Pinkie's guard) fits her type perfectly. The result: Luna running off, having three cold showers and two tubs of fudge ripple (not the ice cream, the ripples). Pinkie then said the dessert chef was really mad.
  • "Remember your oath," she frantically thought. "No mortal stallions. No mortal stallions. No. No. You can not haz beefcake. Must wait until the Panacea is found. NO MORTAL STALLIONS."
    • "Woof."
• Snowflake is the Captain of Fluttershy's Forest Guard. Picture the contrast.
  Fluttershy: I, um, dub thee the Forest Guard. Arise.
  Snowflake: YEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!!
  Fluttershy: Meep?!
  • One of her guards responds to being teased by other guards about the new butterfly logo on his uniform by bringing out pictures of Fluttershy from her brief career as a model. Including a lingerie shot. He instantly becomes the envy of every other guard in the bar.
  I hate you and everything you stand for, and I want to be you more than anything in life.
• After making a few stupid comments, Orange Roughy of the Forest Guard gets volunteered into teaching Bishi some hoof-to-hoof fighting, and lets his pride rule him:
  The off-duty guards were gathered on the top deck, gathered around a hastily chalked out sparring circle. Orange Roughy was standing in the middle, grinning and motioning for Breezy Shy to join him. The shy little Pegasus stepped into the circle, dressed in his Karate gi and wearing his sparring helmet and booties. A few of the guards applauded and shouted encouragement. He curled up a little under all the attention.
  "Uh, nice jammies, kid," Roughy said. "Go ahead and lose the booties, wouldja? You're not gonna hurt me."
  "But—"
  "Go on, lose 'em." Obediently, Breezy shucked his booties and, under further prodding, the padded helmet. Roughy grinned at the waif-like colt and struck a mocking fighting pose. "Okay, kid. Let's start this right. Gimme your best shot!"
  CRACK.
  That was the last sound Roughy heard for the next hour or two.
  • After that incident, whenever Roughy is escorting the Princess and her brother, he always takes the side of the formation opposite the side Bishi is on.
• Applejack's first meeting with her guards. She had been warned they were a group of oddballs, but...
  "Good evening, my little ponies. I—" she visibly started. "I beg your pardon. My little ponies... and donkeys...and, and is that a diamond dog in back?" she asked faintly.
  Scattered around the room was indeed quite an eclectic mix. Ponies of every size and shape, of course, quite a few looking rather rough around the edges. A crystal pony. Two or three bat-ponies, for good measure. a zebra. A rather large male gryphon was standing by the cider keg, mug still in claw. And she was right; a stumpy looking diamond dog with a marked resemblance to a pug was in the back, standing at attention in ill-fitting armor. "You weren't joking when you said it was a mix," she said to Grey Wolf under her breath.
  "Ahem. I'm sorry to bother you this late at night, but it seems I was remiss in tending to—" Her eyes swept the room. Her eyes fell on a red earth pony with a yellow-green mane and she halted in mid word. "Cousin Appleseed??" she yelped.
• Chapter 15: Twilight discovers to her absolute horror that Flash Sentry is an absolute believer in the Indy Ploy.
  • When Flash realizes that his boss is Obsessively Organized is pretty funny too:
  Flash Sentry: "I mean, its not like I can plan out your day with a giant checklist. That would be ridic..."
  Spike shows him the giant checklist Twilight made for the day. After some dialogue and Twilight leaving...
  Flash: "I'm sure she's just... nervous. Overplanning to compensate."
  Spike: "Dude, there's a few things you need to know about your new boss..."
• Celestia calling the Mane Six to fill them in on the Tree of Harmony situation, while Discord and the Royal Guard fight the vines in the background, followed by Celestia casually bringing up everything in the aftermath. Pinkie's response?
  "Well, that happened."
  • When a vine grabs Princess Celestia:
    "Stand your ground, men, stand your ground!"
    "No way, man. I've seen enough Neighpon cartoons to know where this is going!"
    "Shuddup Color Commentary or I'll dress you in a schoolgirl outfit and THROW you to them! Now charge!"
    "For the Princesses!"
    "Oh grand, for the Princesses," Celestia could be heard saying. "In that case would you mind cutting your Princess loose??"
  • Discord imitating Ash only to make a slight miscalculation:
    Discord: Alright you primeval screwheads. This is my BROOMSTICK! *broom is promptly destroyed by the vines* Eep!
• Chapter 18 has two that stand out. One is that, after a freshly Heel–Face Turn-ed Sunset Shimmer becomes an Alicorn, "her squee of delight rang off the crystal walls like wind-chimes". Second is when afterward, the Royal Sisters are trying to get Shining to remove the cape hiding his baby wings:
  Celestia: Come on, Captain; remove your cape...
  Cadence: Yeah; come on, Honey! Take it off! Wooo, woo!
  Shining: *takes the cape off*
  Sunset Shimmer: Snrrrk......
• At the end of Chapter 21, Rarity's locator spell, now boosted by Alicorn magic, ends up dragging her across the deck of her airship, and over the side in a completely ungraceful fashion.
  Rarity had been unprepared to be flipped over the rail by her own horn, so she got her wings got tangled in the trailing drape of her gown. The Alicorn of Generosity tumbled to the ground squawking and flapping like a chicken launched from a barn loft.
• In Chapter 22, Rarity's locator spell drags her across Neigh Orleans and well into the surrounding swamp. She's not in a good mood afterwards.
  Rarity: "Of course, This is the rule the whole universe operates on, isn't it? When in doubt, humiliate the fabulous one!"
  • And it gets even funnier when Sweetie Belle provides her with roller skates on the fly - easier on the hooves, but now she can't stop!
  • The locator spell drags her in a straight line: and there is a restaurant in her path. Thankfully to Sweetie Belle sent the Radiant Guard ahead to clear a path for the Princess of Generosity opening doors and flipping their princess to keep her from slamming into any of the waitstaff, patrons, and the sous chef before exiting the back entrance. Then building a ramp to have her float over road construction, and dragging her through an open field well away from Neigh Orleans... and taking her directly into the swamp.
    The muddy wake of Rarity's passing still rolled. In the distance could be heard the echoes of screams, wails of dismay and some incredibly unladylike cursing as Princess Rarity was introduced to the flora and fauna and other charms of the bayou, up close and personal.
    Marigold: "Anypony with wings, after her. Jade, get word back to the ship. Dapper Blue, get a swamp boat and a guide and follow after us. We have to get to her Highness before she runs into a gator or a cottonmouth nest or something even more unpleasant."
    Dapper Blue: "Isn't she immortal? She's an alicorn, nothing much should be able to seriously hurt her—"
    Marigold: "I'm not worried about something happening to her as much as I am about her happening to somepony else. Didn't you read the reports on what happened when Princess Sparkle panicked at her school entrance exam as a filly? The way her Highness reacts to anything dirty, muddy, or slimy..."
    Dapper Blue: "We may find ourselves giving a fascinating and culturally significant name to the crater she leaves behind, Got it."
    • The last quote ends up getting called back to again a few chapters later.
  • When the spell finally wears off and Rarity is finally allowed to stop, after dragging her throughout most of the marshes and pools of the bayou, she is approached by an alligator thinking to try and eat her, only for Rarity to turn around and absolutely terrify it.
  Rarity: "Take your best shot, lizard, I'll make a matching handbag and shoe set out of your still living skin and stitch your writhing soul to the lining."
• When Jade Blossom tricks a kappa into bowing and thereby weakening itself by emptying its head bowl, Sweetie Belle throws a rock at its chin hard enough to knock it over. It gets back up, recharged by the water, and blocks its bowl with a ceramic top, now mad and readying for a fight... at which point the rock Sweetie threw falls out of the air and hits it hard enough to break through the ceramic and knock the kappa out this time. Also a CMOA.
  • Speaking of Kappa, the Royal Gardeners have made experiments crossbreeding plants with Poison Joke. The crossbred red chili explodes upon being eaten (as a kappa found out the hard way when Radiant Guard soldier Dapper Blue put one in the cucumber he fed him). And we still have to see what the zucchini does.
• When Mudpuppy's true nature as an alicorn is announced to her community, Rarity declares her "Princess Necturus". Twilight later explains that "Necturus" is a the name of a certain variety of salamander, which are also known as "mud puppies". Rarity, being Rarity, decided to use the more fabulous term.
  • Pinkie gasps, and then says she doesn't get it. This provokes Twilight into facehoofing.
• Rarity getting "smashed off [her] freaking plot" after getting dragged all over the bayou during her subplot.
  • Also, Rarity's Element allows her to know what a person needs most at that particular moment. When she tried it on Blueblood, it turned out what he needed most was a swift kick in the pants. Which she gave him. And then blamed it on the alcohol.
• In chapter 28, Doctor Elixir, the head physician of the hospital Twilight is visiting, explains about some of their experiments:
  • One of their patients has been given a potion made with phoenix feathers: it healed his chronic digestive troubles, eczema, cataracts and halitosis, but now, as a side-effect, he bursts into flames at random intervals;
  There was a loud FWOOMP from further back in the building. Orange light flickered in one doorway. "Nurse! It's happening again!" somepony yelled frantically over the sound of a beeping smoke alarm. A moment later a bored-looking nurse trotted past with a fire extinguisher in her magical grip. There was a prolonged fwoooooooosh. Steam rolled out into the hall. "Sorry," the pony's voice said weakly.
  "It's okay, hon, these things just happen. Lemme fetch you a new hospital gown," the nurse said.
  Elixir looked apologetic. "We usually have him in a room with a sprinkler system, but they've been doing repairs..."
  • Regeneration is promising... But at the moment they have to turn the patient into a frog first;
  • Experiment into transferring the longevity from sequoias and tortoises have resulted, respectively, into disgruntled ponies with twigs and leaves in place of their manes and a pony that moves "painfully, painfully slow".
• Chapter 29:
  • Sunset Shimmer thinking about her bad plan for conquering Equestria, and the result had she succeeded into securing the Element of Magic and invaded, or worse, tried to conquer a piece of the Human world:
  And as for conquest in the human world...? Sunset Shimmer shuddered. She hadn't slept through all of her classes in that dismal human high school. She'd learned enough human history to know just how bad an idea attempted conquest was. She would have stood a snowball's chance in hell of taking over that world, even with the Element's power. Humans were helpless-looking things with no magic, with no fangs or talons, no scales or fiery breath, no monstrous strength, no hooves, horns, or wings, nothing but soft helpless monkey things. Soft helpless monkey things who leveled their own cities with a push of a button when they got angry enough. She was sure they would have had a colorful and historically memorable name for the crater left behind, had she tried to march up and claim a throne anywhere in their world.
  Maybe it was the hormones. Being trapped in a pseudo-adolescent body had probably made her "go native" for a while, start actually thinking like a short-sighted little dimwitted teenage girl. She'd probably been within a few months of spending all her free time at the mall and making duck-faces at her iPhone. She shuddered again.
  • Jasper freaks out when he sees Sunset and runs to tell Trixie that somepony from Canterlot has shown up on their doorstop, saying Sunset stands out "like a peacock on a chicken farm". Sunset has mixed feelings about this description.
  • Trixie's poor attempt at disguising herself as an old lady from the ascended Sunset Shimmer. And her final strategy when seeing Sunset's wings.
  Trixie: "Very well, you leave me no choice."
  (She flung herself at Sunset Shimmer's hooves, wrapping her forelegs around Sunset's ankle)
  Trixie: "Oh please have mercy your great and anonymous highness we swear to you it was unintentional Trixie pleads for mercy or at least for you to not send the colt to the moon he's only a child and---"
  • Trixie's awesome sting operation on Sheriff Brass. His increasing confusion and panic are funny indeed.
• Chapter 30:
  • Rainbow Dash Stating the Simple Solution to the problem of passing Trixie's notes to Twilight.
  • Everyone realizing that Fluttershy's first stop in her voyage was practically putting a ravishing yet incredibly shy beauty prone to go crazy when rejected by animals, "a few dozen gung-ho woodsy stallion troop leaders" and several hundreds young colts and fillies, half just hitting puberty and half believing the other gender has cooties in the wilderness with animals not used to ponies.
  • Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie:
  Rarity: "How do you 'drop' balloons?"
  Pinkie Pie: "You tie 'em to the cupcakes."
  • Apparently Pinkie Pie and Luna's first stop-off had been at a Pickle Festival.
  Luna:(deadpan) "Woo. What a party."
  Celestia: Ooh, pickled peppers? Send me some?
  Luna: Thee and thy cravings...
  • Spike having a Lame Pun Reaction to his own pun. Yeah, it was that bad.
  • What's with unicorns and mountains? Easy: Rincewind Arcology Syndrome.
• Apparently, Discord's return was not the worst state of chaos Canterlot palace had ever been in, being beaten by that time the Gryphon ambassador's wife had been overheard saying that Princess Celestia had a fat ass.
• This part from the Take That! to Malthus (done via giving him a Pony counterpart and have Luna dissect him and his work) in chapter 4:
  "Twilight Sparkle, according to the scholarly predictions of Malthus, we all starved to death eight hundred years ago."
• After what happened in Parting Words, Celestia's done with cryptic prophecies and secret tests of character. Two of the consequences are the following:
  • The Royal Guard has orders to "to take any pony making poetic-sounding prophecies into custody and bring them to the castle where large, unfriendly looking stallions would inform the would-be Nostradamus that they had WAYS to make them talk coherently".
  • When the Tree of Harmony produces its chest, Celestia has Daring Do analyze it... and, given she's an expert of the Dungeon Bypass, try to open it. Daring first tries to pick the locks, only for the box to shatter her tools and give her an electric shock that nearly blows the fillings out of her teeth. She gets so frustrated, she whacks the thing with a 50-pound sledgehammer; after the handle breaks, she asks Celestia for the money to buy a new one.
• To prevent Twilight from finding out that Flash Sentry is really late with his mountain of paperwork, Spike flame-mailed it to Celestia. By coincidence, the mountain of paperwork landed hard on Vertical File, a bureaucrat who was opposed to a reform of bureaucracy aimed at reducing paperwork.
• The scene where Twilight sees Flash's idea of discrete casual wear (An old college hoofball jersey).
  Twilight: It's a little... scruffy. And are those stains on the hem...?
  Flash: Hey, Spike. What are we?
  Spike: Men!
  Flash: What kind of men?
  Spike: College men!
  Flash: Which means we are also?
  Spike and Flash: TOTAL SLOBS!
  Twilight: (rolls eyes) Males.
• Twilight showing herself to have been a pampered but sweet rich-kid student, having no idea how your average college student gets places to stay or what equipment they're supposed to have. She spends some time fretting about the possibility that she's going to have to do research in the field using only a field kit.
• The description of the Gothic Forest, apparently more eldritch than the Everfree Forest, Spike's reaction to it, and how Flash prepared to deal with whatever of the legends there turned out to be true. At least until it turns out he's actually being Properly Paranoid...
• Timberwolves, creatures that howl at lightning... and then end up with their mouths full of water because they're howling upwards during a thunderstorm. Local opinion is that sooner or later one of them is going to drown itself.
  "Arrooooooowwwwhaarrggharrrble"
• Everything about the angry horde of squirrels attacking the Colt Scouts Jamboree during Fluttershy's visit.
• Apple Bloom's nightmare isn't it, for the most part... Then she gets at "And then our butts fused together"...
  • The consequences of Luna stopping by to help her with the nightmare about how honey is made:
  Elsewhere, two princesses— one pink and frizzy, the other midnight blue— sat up burning the midnight oil. Luna was reciting some of the highlights.... or low lights... of her nightly dream duties for the past few days. "Bug Barf..." she said, her eyes haunted. "Bug Barf from bugs the size of ponies..."
  A servant came into the room pushing a tea trolley. "Would your highnesses like sugar or honey with your tea?" she chirped.
  "SUGAR," came the immediate reply.
• A few of the things at the expo:
  • The inventor of the fountain pen's giddy delight that Twilight has basically just made his livelihood for him with her buying a thousand of them and a lifetime's worth of ink refill and replacement nibs and giving his product a royal seal of approval.
  • Superglue sale:
  "...Strongest glue ever invented," the booth bunny chirped with a toothy smile. She held up the bottle for Apple Bloom to see, then pointed to the various ridiculously heavy objects behind her—- anvils, cast iron safes, wrecking balls— dangling from a steel I-beam by a single drop of glue. "Sticks to anything! Wood, metal, glass, plastic..."
  Apple Bloom squinted. "Then what's the bottle made out of?" she said suspiciously. "If it sticks to everything, then it shouldn't be able to come out of the bottle at all!" ^note The substance could be an analog for super glue, which in real life doesn’t begin to set until it comes in contact with moisture in the air. Not that the booth bunny would have known that.
  The booth bunny's eyes glazed over. "Uh..."
  • The Flim-Flam brothers showing up at the Expo - at least until Apple Bloom hears their song.
  Apple Bloom: GUAAAAAAAARDS!
  • The Sunflower Alchemical demonstrators brushing off Apple Bloom's warnings about a potion they were preparing because they came from a blank flank filly using notions she learned from a zebra... Only to find out she was right in a most explosive manner.
  • Discord's nickname for the power of the Elements of Harmony: Harmony Rainbow Riot Hose.
  • During his rampage, Malfunziona breaks a number of mechanisms that end up to mix tons and tons of hair with an alchemical substance, creating a gigantic hair monster. This is the comment of the alchemist:
  "It's alive! It's alive! They said my Vitality formula was rubbish, but now they'll all see!—-"
  • An appearance of pony counterparts to Fred, George and Bill Weasley. The latter of which runs the family pest control ferret raising business... and is convinced that raising dragons was safer.
    • To any Harry Potter fan, the Weasleys raising ferrets.
  • The Nightshade triplets facing the rampaging biplane.
  • Apple Bloom noticed her cutie mark BEFORE noticing her wings and horn. It was also a crowning moment of funny In-Universe.
    • Babs pretending to be an offended Manehattan snob due to Apple Bloom ASCENDING on the day of Babs' Cuteceañera is worth a chuckle as well.
• The description of Rarity's opulent airship, appropriately named Fabulosity. It ends with "Most of the crew and staff had spent the first two or three nights lying stiffly atop fine linen sheets, terrified to move lest they scuff something."
  • How the royal financier reacted to it:
    None of this, from the decadent dining down to the plush carpeting, had come cheap. The Mane Six's royally assigned financier, Bean Counter, had nearly had a chain of heart attacks when he saw the bills. Then he had seen how the Alicorn of Generosity had defrayed most of the expense and had barely been able to restrain himself from begging for her hoof in marriage.
    • To wit: she sold cruise tickets to the richest and most influential ponies in Equestria, opened an onboard boutique (under an assumed name) to keep them supplied with high-class outfits, and made lucrative interview deals with the press.
• Rarity's Epic Fail at using her airship's intercom system is considered one in-universe.
• Pinkie and Luna really getting into the Maredi Gras celebration. Specifically, Pinkie starts saucily shaking her rump at the crowd, and when a scandalized Rarity asks Luna for help, Luna merely says that she won't let herself be one-upped by her own apprentice and starts doing the same. To the point that most of the beads and trinkets they threw to the crowd come back to them the same way.
• Dapper Blue's experiments at breeding the entire Home and Garden Defense Brigade from Plants vs. Zombies aboard Rarity's airship make for some comical mishaps when he shows them off. Crosses into Awesome territory when Sweetie and Mudpuppy use a batch of seeds from those plants to fend off Malifec, Cotton Mouth, and an army of kappas and zombies.
• The Nobody's Fools member Zonk the Zonkey. He has a Zebrabwayan full name that his donkey mother got from a book of baby names in that language, thinking it sounded lovely and exotic, and put on the birth certificate before her zebra husband could stop her. What does it mean? "Copyright 988, All Rights Reserved".
  • Becomes a Brick Joke several chapters later when the Fools get arrested and Zonk has to give his name to a watchzebra:
  Watchzebra: Name?
  Zonk: Uh, Zonk.
  Watchzebra: Real name, kid.
  Zonk sighed, rolled his eyes fatalistically, and recited a series of liquid-sounding syllables. The zebra paused in his typing and gave him an unamused glare.
  Watchzebra: I bet you think that's funny, kid.
  Zonk: No, but my father thought it was hysterical. My mother, on the other hand, thought it was a name.
  Watchzebra: Ah. One of those.
• Scootaloo vs Girly Panda Doll!...the doll wins.
• Scootaloo and the Nobody's Fools crashing a protest in Chapter 45 is also gut-bustingly funny. From static charges to deliberately sabotaging the microphone, the Nobody's Fools manage to reduce the protest into a laughing matter.
• The Ship Tease between Mach and Dash counts too:
  • When describing Mach to Gold Star, Rainbow's eyes had a faraway look, a grin was forming on her face, and was rubbing a magically preserved rose under her chin. Gold Star looks at Dash with a raised eyebrow, which prompts Dash to ask him what was that all about. Gold Star very carefully chose to say nothing. Afterwards, Rainbow's face became very hot.
  • Mach mentions to Scootaloo that he has seen the new Princesses on paper; he mentions that they are all beautiful/pretty, but gives special emphasis on Rainbow, who he describes as definitely a hottie. Scootaloo and Flute waste no time in lampshading this; Scootaloo teases Mach, while Flute casts a magic bubble that makes a wolf whistle.
  • And then the whole thing comes to a screeching halt when Rainbow realizes that Mach is just a teenager.
• The various grown-ups pointing how just how ridiculous the mayor's arrest of the Nobody's Fools was.
  • Bowser's adoptive parents (a Diamond Dog couple), who also manage to give the lie to the notion that Diamond Dogs are idiots:
  Father: So... he do nothing? Then why he here?
  Watchpony: Your son is being held on suspicion of involvement with a group with possible ties to a suspected group with potential terrorist intentions...
  Father: (counting off on his fingers) So....maybe involved with group that maybe connected to other group that maybe have plans that maybe terrorist... Four "maybes". You get one more "maybe", you reach "once upon a time." We know ponies think Diamond Dogs stupid, but ROCKS not THAT dumb.
  • Fledge's father (and remember, Fledge is a griffin):
  Are you telling me that my son goes to visit his friends— who are some of North Face Leap's favorite clients, by the way— and you arrest him, throw him in a paddywagon and drag him down here to book him just for being present and in your reach?”
  • Flute's mother. She has an opera voice and is not afraid to use it:
  Watchpony: He resisted arrest, he's refused to cooperate with us, to answer any questions or give us any information when we demanded it—
  Flute's mother: He's a MUTE, you idiot! How was he supposed to cooperate with you WHEN HE CAN'T EVEN SPEAK?? ARE YOU OVERPAID THUGS DELIBERATELY TRAINED TO TERRORIZE THE HANDICAPPED???
  Flute's father: How's that horseshoe taste, young feller?
• Bananas Foster's "The Reason You Suck" Speech to his entire family profession and how they tried to shoehorn him, a comedian, into it, while a Moment of Awesome in its own right, is maniacal and hammy enough to send the room into a snicker-fit. But it's his last line (delivered at full volume over the squadroom's intercom system) that devolves everyone listening into hysterics.
  Foster: (calm) Just for the record, in case anypony wonders, really all I'm trying to say is—
  I. HATE. BANANAS!!
• Scootaloo telling Mach One about one of Rainbow Dash's pranks on Mayor Mare: She set four piglets loose in the Mayor's office, each painted with a number, One, Two, Three... and Five. The Mayor spent the rest of the day looking for number Four.
• When Foster's Uncle Smoothie is revealed to have kept Foster's tuition money (refunded by the university after Foster dropped out) for himself and all the adults turn to glare at him, Banana Pudding and Foster don't bat an eye.
  Nanner: Uncle Smoothie's in trouble again, isn't he?
  Foster: Yep, looks like.
• And Mach One getting in the last word by telling off Mayor Fussbudget... who just happens to be his uncle.
• Rainbow Dash clumsily flirting with Mach One, only to freak out when she finds out that he's underage. And then it turns out that Harshwhinny realized how old he was and didn't tell Dash just to mess with her.
  • Dash telekinetically dragging Harshwhinny (who was talking with Prince Ajax in the stands) through the air and into her office (as in through the cloud wall) to act as witness that nothing happened.
• Mach softens up one of the Crownbreaker bomb-setters by whacking him repeatedly over the head with a mop bucket. This is how he ends up (given what he's talking about, this might qualify for Black Comedy):
  When the clanging ceased, his prisoner was much more cooperative. “...shabotaging da Funderdome...” he lisped, head bobbling as his eyes crossed. “Make id aw faw down go boom, wee...Down with Sequestria...Pony to the Power... Pony...yay.”
• Rainbow Dash's ultimate reaction to Mayor Fussbudget's restrictions on fast food. As read by Fledge:
  Um.... Hear Ye, Hear Ye. Whereas they are a vi-o-la-tion of Free Market Principles, are a Tres—- um, Tes— oh. Are a trespass against civil lib... civil liberties, and Whereas it is nopony's darn business what another pony drinks or eats, especially not the business of that poozer Mayor Fussbudget, or of any bunch of wet nancy whiny busybody city hall control freaks—-
  Therefore by royal decree the city ordinances collectively known as the “Good Health For Your Own Good Ordinances” are hereby PERMANENTLY REVOKED. On this day in the year of … uh etcetera etcetera..., by order of Her Highness Princess Rainbow Dash, Alicorn Of Loyalty, Champion of Equestria and Defender of the Realm.
  
  P.S....Now fix my order, darn it.
• Chapter 51 is chock-full of funny moments:
  • Flute scares the daylights out of Mach twice, first by positioning himself to look Mach straight in the eye as he wakes up, then by playing a vuvuzela sound effect that nearly makes him fall off the bed.
  • Bananas Foster pranking Presto:
  Mach obeyed. The room exploded into cries of amazement. He opened his eyes. His wings were stretched out on either side of him; on one side, a wing of flesh and blood and bone and feather. On the other, a shimmering, crystal-clear wing, etched out of thin air like cut glass. He couldn't help himself. He flapped them, experimentally. Then he flapped some more, slowly lifting himself off the bed till his head bumped against the ceiling. He lowered himself back down to the bed, wings fanning gently.
  “It's just as I thought,” Presto breathed in wonder. “A wing, a phantom limb, made out of pure magic... may I...?” he reached out a hoof to touch.
  “EEE! Bad Touch! I need a grownup!” Foster shouted in a loud falsetto.
  Presto jerked back his hoof as if he'd been scalded, then swatted the amateur comedian three or four times. “You jerk!”" The tension in the room vanished as everypony broke up laughing.
  • The Fools' account of Mach's "triumphant" return from saving the Thunderdome spectators:
  “You kinda scared us,” Softy said, looking (pretty much as always) fretful and worried. “I mean, you passed out.”
  Foster started cackling again. “Yeah, epic entrance there, Peerless Leader,” he said. “You come in for a landing all like—” he struck a pose, wings flared. “ 'Behold your new Alicorn Prince!' and then— FWUMP. Faceplant, right into the cloudpack,” he chortled. The others started snickering.
  “Really?” Mach groaned.
  “Snout down, wings out flat, butt in the air,” Crackerjack confirmed. The others broke up laughing again. “Hail the conquering hero.”
  • How did Prince Ajax get Rainbow's massive order of burgers, fries and soda? First by trying to flirt with the attractive young female griffin cashier (which didn't work well), then by pulling out Fledge (which almost worked), and finally by asking Fledge to read the decree outlined above.
  • Harshwhinny's reaction when she finds out Rainbow sent Prince Ajax (who is gryphon royalty) on a burger run.
  Harshwhinny groaned and covered her eyes. “I work for a mare who can turn breakfast into an international incident,” she said faintly.
  • Babs and the Crusaders celebrating their triumphs:
  Babs: (snickering) At least the Cutie Mark Crusaders finished in typical Cutie Mark Crusader style.
  Celestia: And what would that be?
  Scootaloo: Action...
  Applebloom: Adventure...
  Sweetiebelle: Danger...
  Babs: Disaster, and...
  Crusaders, Babs: MASSIVE PROPERTY DAMAGE!
  • Pinkie Pie's reaction to finding out that Mayor Fussbudget gave Mach a fake cake on his birthday. Mach is unnerved and actually feels sorry for his uncle.
  • After Mach's age is used to prank another Alicorn princess, he grabs a rose and quotes some poetry that makes just about every female present start flustering. After which Luna (the target of said prank) pretends to be indignant about the whole thing and tells him not to speak to her again... until he's legal.
  • Sweetiebelle helping Flute learn to use his sound magic to talk.
  Sweetiebelle: "Now swallow it."
• A little unintended consequence of Sweetie Belle's plant adventure:
  "They're debating about what to do with the ruins of Port Malfou... it seems Sweetiebelle's little warrior-garden has been growing like crazy. We may have to negotiate a peace treaty with the sunflowers..."
• Chapter 52, start to finish, detailing the Ponyville residents' assorted reactions to the news that the Cutie Mark Crusaders have ascended. Diamond Tiara, in particular, suffers an epic nervous breakdown.
  Diamond Tiara: (screaming to the heavens) WHAT IS THIS?! WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
  Silver Spoon: It's not that bad...
  Tiara: YES IT IS!!
  • The fact that said nervous breakdown is almost word for word the "heated moment" from the GameGrumps' Let's Play of Sonic the Hedgehog (2006).
  • The kicker? Discord's reaction to the whole thing is to stop for a moment, blow into a party horn and throw some confetti, before casually continuing on his way.
• It's stated at one point Discord had dinner with the Mane Six and brought the tableware to life to serve it; Twilight got soup sprayed up her nose by a fish-shaped soup tureen.
• Pinkie visits Mayor Fussbudget in Chapter 54 and decides to have a little fun trolling him before she gets down to business.
  He looked around. The door to the study was closed and locked, and all the windows were shuttered. “Where did you come from??”
  She gave him a peculiar look. “Well I thought you were old enough that you already knew this,” she said with a way-too-innocent grin. “But when a Stallion and a Filly love each other very much—”
  • When Fussbudget realizes that Pinkie plans to make him eat a papier-mâché cake, he tries to make a break for it, only for Pinkie to make all the exits lead back to the office... including one instance where he pops out of his desk drawer.
• The Nobody's Fools' prank to Goldstar: they barge in his office one by one disguised as their hypothetical Alicorn selves. And they took pictures of his panicked face.
• The Nightshade triplets' mention of vampire melons elicits a few amusing reactions from the Mane Six in Chapter 21. It turns into a Brick Joke when Spike finds himself facing one in Chapter 58.
  • When he first encounters it, he sees nothing wrong with a melon showing up on his windowsill (as pegasi in Ponyville often deliver produce this way) and goes looking for a cleaver to cut the fruit. The dew on the melon suddenly looks like sweat. When Spike returns, the melon is hiding under the couch.
    • The fact that the melon is wearing a little vampire cape, and the reason Spike doesn't find it weird is because he's used to seeing Ponyville farmers put clothing on what they grow.
• Chapter 59: Apple Bloom and her newly built "Uber-Toaster" robot. She successfully uses it to help defend Applejack's airship against a pack of Diamond Dog pirates (even using the "Get away from her, you bitch!" line), and what's she worried about? The fact that it keeps burning the toast.
  • Then Applejack tells her to watch her language and leave the ship's coffee maker alone.
    • Apple Bloom countering that, since the pirate captain that AJ was fighting is a female dog, "bitch" is less of a slur against her. Likewise, said captain getting annoyed that it's become a slur, calling it cultural appropriation.
• Ch 60: many of the scouts and/or soldiers are still crushing on Princess Fluttershy and so they pick every flower for one hundred feet for use as bouquets and flower crowns. Fluttershy's response? "This will upset the birds and the bees".
• The honor of joining Princess Fluttershy on her nature hike goes to the Colt and Filly Scout troops who were the most successful fundraisers. The fillies sold three hundred boxes of cookies by mastering the puppy dog eye technique. The colts sold six hundred fifty by setting up a smuggling ring into the local fat camp.

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