"That's a harp he's playing, Nobby," said one of them, after watching Imp for a while.
"No, it's the honest truth, I'm—" The fat Guard frowned and looked down. "You've just been waiting all your life to say that, ain't you Nobby," he said. "I bet you was born hoping that one day someone'd say 'That's a harp' so you could say 'lyre', on account of it being a pun or play on words. Well, har har."
Ninin Ga Shinobuden has a truly horrible visual pun at the end of episode 9's first half. The ninja attempt to make a furo by rerouting a hot spring into their bath house, but it's not water that comes out of the pipe...
Ninja: Permed hair!? Kaede: Afro? Shinobu: I guess... Onsokumaru: It's "a furo", therefore "afro". Everybody: *groan* Ninja: That was a lame joke.
In Azumanga Daioh (the anime), Tomo makes a pun, though what that pun is depends on whether it's the dub, the sub (both based on "freedom"), or the original (based on "yoyuu"). The other girls groan and Chiyo says it was bad, while Tomo is flabbergasted at their response.
Fuuka of Yotsuba&! makes the occasional pun, though only Asagi attacks her for it (Koiwai and Jumbo merely tell her off). Her father, on the other hand, appreciates the humor value.
One of the main characters from Shaman King, Chocolove, is rather famous for his puns so horribly obvious that the others tend to freeze in awe for a few seconds before continuing the conversation, often turning completely white in the process (in the anime, at least). Other times he just gets attacked by someone, usually Ren.
Tamahome throws one out in Fushigi Yuugi. In an attempt to cheer Miaka up, he tells her that after causing some trouble, Tasuki will probably be taken to task (in the Japanese version, the word used for the pun is tasukete, or "help" in English). He acknowledges the lameness of his pun himself and blames his Money Fetish for it.
In Prince of Tennis, on the team of Rokkaku, Amane 'David' Hikaru is frequently kicked for making many lame puns. Many people know him as "that pun guy" instead of his real name.
Kiko: I knew you were going to say that. It wasn't even funny.
In Kamichama Karin, Karin makes one of these ("Wait, a god (kami) just burned my hair (also kami)??") and then chastises herself for it.
In My Hime, Haruka attempts to make a pun which is immediately followed by dead silence and staring.
Haruka: What a hideous face. What is that? Yukino: I believe it's a kelp grouper, Haruka. Haruka: Really? Yukino: Yeah. It's good to serve at parties in a hot pot or sashimi. Haruka: No wonder it's called a grouper.
Brook in One Piece makes these constantly in regards to his body. In just one scene, he does it three times with commentary for each. First two times? Franky starts to aim his Weapons Left and Robin tells him not to because he's already dead. The third one she just says 'go ahead and beat him up.' And he does.
Excel of Excel♥Saga draws a comparison between conquest (征 服, seifuku) and uniforms (制 服, also seifuku). Hyatt notes that this is just too obvious (and she usually plays Captain Obvious to explain the joke, so this is her way of calling it lame).
Judai in Yu-Gi-Oh! GX is quite fond of this trope. Here's a good example as shown below when he duels with Wheeler, a monkey duelist, to rescue fellow Duel Academy student Jasmine in the episode "Monkey See, Monkey Duel":
Judai: You saw my moves, now do yours! Hah! Get it? Monkey see, monkey DO? Jasmine: You make puns now, and not even good ones!
Howdy from Hamtaro just loves to tell really bad jokes that nobody in the show finds funny at all.
At the start of the Steel Ball Run in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, the race's benefactor, Stephen Steel, announces the trophy for the winner has been buried in a block of ice dug up from Antarctica which will melt by the time the race is over. When he say that his comments have hopefully "broken the ice", everyone is astounded he would make such a horrible joke, except Stephen's wife, who claps.
One Shugo Chara Chan! comic has the Guardian Characters wondering what the prince of flowers ("hana" in Japanese) looks like, and one of the princes is a nose (Also "hana" in Japanese). Ran says "That's not the right "hana" we're talking about!"
Hayashida, the teacher to the protagonist Rei, utters a bad Japanese pun involving pork cutlets (katsu) and winning (also pronounced katsu but written differently) during their lunch break as a way of encouraging Rei for his recent string of losses. Rei feels a chill (a Japanese visual cue for a pun that's found terrible) when he's told to "katsu" his battles while being given a pork cutlet.
Rei's almost driven insane by Takeshi Tsuji's onslaught of terrible, context-less puns during their shogi match.
Because most character names in My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic are made of normal words, puns are fairly inevitable. According to Diamond Mint's card in the Collectible Card Game, she apparently makes the "diamond in the rough" pun on her own name enough to annoy Lemony Gem into making an unspecified threat over it.
In Archie Comics' Sonic the Hedgehog Sonic is known for his many lame puns. Apart from the obvious Eggman jokes, he has also fought Knuckles when the latter was Enerjak, calling him Ener-Joke. This prompted Knuckles to yell, "Are you quite finished?!" Sonic, smug as ever, then said, "Actually... Jumping-jak. Ener-tube. Flap-jak. Ener-state. Ener-jak-in-the-box. And come to think of it... "Enerjak" sounds like some kind of sports drink. Now I'm finished." Knuckles threw him into a wall afterward.
In Squadron Supreme, toddler Hyperion is startled by his new pet dog and incinerates it with his heat vision. One of the two guards watching him over security camera remarks "I guess Spot was kind of the right name after all." His partner lays him out for that one, in a cross between this trope and Dude, Not Funny!.
Batman: You still haven't gotten over the puns? Nightwing: Oh shush. You love it.
In the Don Rosa story "Return to Plain Awful," Donald Duck and Scrooge McDuck visit the Lost World of Plain Awful, a Utopia where square things are prized, round things are illegal, and the people live "on good cheer" with no financial interests. Eventually, Scrooge does manage to interest the people in his money — but only aesthetically, and as a finishing touch, they chop their new stack of bills into two square halves. The story ends with Donald noting that now, Self-Made Man Scrooge has something in common with the Awfultonians:
Calvin: Hey Hobbes, want to see an antelope? Hobbes: An antelope? Calvin: Come on! (goes to an anthill) See, she's climbing down the ladder to her boyfriend's car. (beat) You're not laughing. Hobbes: It's not funny.
There was another one where Calvin took a telephone into the woods to "make some bird calls" and ended up with the receiver in his mouth and the bulk of it tied to the back of his head.
Peanuts had a strip where Linus made a snowman who is reading a book and tells Charlie Brown that he imagines the snowman is reading some poetry, but is at a loss for a poet a snowman would like. When Charlie Brown suggests Robert Frost, Linus responds, "You said it, I didn't."
There was also a Running Gag of Snoopy working on his novel and writing a scene involving an unnamed man telling his wife some lame pun.
"I've bought you a St. Bernard. His name is Great Reluctance. Now when I go away, you shall know I am leaving you with Great Reluctance!" She hit him with a waffle iron.
Early Dilbert strips loved their puns. One strip features Dogbert instructing the readers on finding a safe place out of range from which to deliver the punchline of the following pun:
Dogbert: Tell me again about your uncle the famous biologist. Dilbert: Uncle Albert won many awards for his work on anemones...sadly he had little time for a social life. Dogbert: With anemones like that, who needs friends?
The Australian comic Snake has a lot of these, usually very violent and slapsticky. Snake himself has been trampled, crushed under his own rock, hurled into water with weights tied to him and so on, while the Flying Doc's are more likely to get his head slammed in the door to his surgery. Roo and the Aboriginal duo are the most frequent providers of this kind of pain.
A Heinz ad for corn:
Ad: One of our corn farmers has a saying: "You won't believe my ears!" We never said it was a good saying.
An Australian beer ad featured some stereotypically blokey blokes out on a drinking-lots-of-beer-and-fishing holiday, cooking some fish in a wheelbarrow because they forgot the frying pan.
Bloke 1: What kind of fish is it anyway? Bloke 2: It's, ah... barra. Bloke 3: That's terrible. Bloke 2: Yeh, it is.
In the franchise-spanning Mega Man crossover fanfic "Epilogue," Elec Man makes several electricity-based puns both before and after his fight with the heroes. Zero just grins and goes along with it, even firing back with some puns of his own, but X gets more and more irritated until he eventually snaps, decides "Pacifism be damned!," and has to be held back to stop him from tearing Elec Man limb from limb. Then Zero makes one more pun, and X's systems, already under severe stress from the recent battle, temporarily shut down in response.
Films — Animated
The Land Before Time 2. When a pair of egg-stealing Struthiomimuses arrive at the Great Valley after a long trek, one of them says that he's just "egg-xausted". His partner kicks him in the face in response.
Yellow Submarine is liberally sprinkled with puns, but one in particular, when the submarine's motor dies, falls into this category:
John: Maybe we should call a road service? Paul: Can't, no road! Ringo: And we're not sub... scribers. John/Paul/George: [groaning] Subscribers!
Or this, as Ringo and Old Fred walk through a hall of displays:
Old Fred: Say, what would your friends be doing here? Ringo: Displayin'. Old Fred: Displaying what?. Ringo: Displayin' around. rimshot
In Mulan, there's the recruits on the first day of training.
Chi Fu: Order! People, order! Recruit: I'd like a pan-fried noodle! Chien-Po: Ooh, ooh, sweet and pungent shrimp. Recruit 2: Moo goo gai pan. Chi Fu: [amid laughter] That's not funny.
Hoodwinked. When Detective Flippers says he wants to talk to Kirk the woodsman, officer Stork says "Maybe you should AXE him yourself!" then starts laughing uncontrollably at the pun until he sees Chief Grizzly giving him the Death Glare, at which point he sobers up and says "I'll bring him in."
Films — Live-Action
Duck Soup: Chicolini's suggestion that Freedonia maintain a standing army, "because then we save money on chairs", provokes Firefly to give him the bum's rush from the room (and apparently worse, judging by the Offscreen Crash that follows). This is a pun so bad that Groucho, the man who once took pictures of the native girls and was waiting for them to develop, felt it necessary to chase Chico.
In Mean Girls 2, this was the reaction to the "Anti-Plastics". Noted as such by Jo in voice-over.
In Whats Up Tiger Lily?, hero Phil Moskowitz and his girl assistant, tied up, think they've been abducted by bad guy Shepard Wong, but it turns out to be a second bad guy, Wing Fat, who introduces himself: "I am Wong's competitor." Phil quips, "Well...two Wongs don't make a wight!" Wing Fat smiles and says, "For that joke you should only drop dead."
Flash Gordon has a terrible one. Flash asks a wounded ally if he's all right, and gets the reply "He only winged me!" The ally is a Hawkman, who's was shown to be hit in the wing.
In Master and Commander, the Surprise'sCommand Roster is eating dinner, and Jack Aubrey sees a pair of weevils on the table. He asks Stephen Maturin which he would choose. After some deliberation Stephen chooses the right-hand weevil because it's bigger.
Jack:(slams the table) There! I've got you! You're completely dished. Do you not know that in the service, one must always choose the lesser of two weevils? (everyone at the table laughs uproariously) Stephen:(shaking his head) He who would pun would pick a pocket. Really, weevils...
The New Discworld Companion tells the story of Monsieur Pune, creator of the Fool's Guild:
"Q. When is a door not a door? A. When it is ajar (a jar)" - one of his early puns for which he was tarred and feathered and left for dead.
Dave Barry is not fond of puns, and rarely uses them without heavyweight Lampshade Hanging. Take, for example, this passage in Dave Barry Slept Here:
But now he could sit back and relax as the reaper roared through as many as ten acres per hour, reaping the living hell out of everything that stood in its path, occasionally spitting out bits of mule fur or farmhand clothing, which could easily be reassembled thanks to the sewing machine, invented by Elias Howe. "Don't ask me Howe it works!" he used to say, over and over, until finally somebody, we think his wife, shot him in the head with a revolver, invented by Samuel Colt.
Or this passage in Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You Will Ever Need:
The history of Ireland dates back a long time to the original inhabitants, the Picts, who were a fun-loving tribe known for their wit. "You sure Pict a winner that time!" is the kind of thing they were always saying, until finally a neighboring tribe called the Celtics got sick and tired of it and came in and, in 432 B.C. on October 8, defeated the Picts in the Battle of Defeating the Picts when John Havlicek sank two free throws in overtime.
In Piers Anthony's Xanth series, much of the wildlife and magic are literal puns, such as a mango being a human-shaped fruit that makes you urinate immediately upon eating it. Most of the characters dislike the puns, particularly a winged centaur whose name is a pun (Karia, who starts floating helplessly away whenever she hears her name.)
Inverted by the characters in Spider Robinson's Callahan's Crosstime Saloon series, who are prolific with puns, to the point of competitions in which the worst/best pun of the evening gets his bar tab waived. They call it Punday Night. Normally, things are thrown at the offending punster, and fire extinguishers and seltzer bottles are also used for particularly outrageous puns. The bigger the response, the better they consider the pun.
The time traveler who tried to sell them 4 (fake) high tech gems on the 4th of July. Get it, 4th jewel lie. This was also incredibly cruel since one of the gems made a paralyzed man think he could walk.
The Marvelous Land of Oz, the second Oz book, sees H.M. Wogglebug T.E. make a joke about the Sawhorse, noting that if he rode him, it would be a "horse-and-buggie". Jack Pumpkinhead covers up his permanently-smiling mouth, and the Tin Woodsman threatens the Wogglebug with his axe.
In Aunt Dimity's Death, When Lori asks Bill how he got the irises in the Willises' parlour in early April, he starts to reply, "Where there's a Willis—". Lori groans to cut him off.
George: You see... I'm holy. Holey. Fred, geddit? Fred: Pathetic. Pathetic! With the whole wide world of ear-related humour before you, you go for Holey?
And that's when everybody knows George is okay!
In Starfighters of Adumar, Rad Flat (Red Flight) meets regularly with a reporter who wears a recording unit on her shoulder that looks like the head of a protocol droid, making her appear to have two heads. Once, she complained that it was malfunctioning and she couldn't seem to fix the problem.
Janson grinned at her. "Some days make you just want to beat your heads against a wall, don't they?" Hobbie said, "Maybe not. The young lady might not have her heads on straight, after all." Tycho said, "Still, I think she ought to get her heads examined." Wedge looked at them, appalled.
The Other: Omega, despite his sacrifice, still had a hand in their affairs. It was a rather good joke he thought, but Rassilon didn't find it funny at all.
In Jim C. HinesThe Princess Series novel The Snow Queen's Shadow, Talia tells a story about the time, many years ago, when Snow made it rain urine in Prince Armand's room for more than an hour. When Queen Beatrice asked Snow why she did it, Snow said that "she wanted him to know what it felt like to be a peon". Talia said that she told Bea that whatever Snow's punishment was going to be, it ought to be doubled just for that pun.
One of the running jokes in Diary Of A Nobody is Charles Pooter's incredibly laboured puns and his family and friends reactions to them "I'm afraid these trousers are frayed"
An implicit, somewhat slyly-given example in Star Trek: Ex Machina. Two crewmen - an Eeiauoan and a Caitian - are mentioned to have started fighting. Given that both races are feline, we have a literal Cat Fight. They’re told to “groom and make up”.
In Alice in Wonderland the King of Hearts tries to make a joke about a poem not fitting the Queen of Hearts (because she never has fits). Nobody laughs... until he explains that its supposed to be a pun.
In "iQuit iCarly", as they introduce Fleck and Dave.
Sam: Their videos are hi-larious. Carly: Which is the opposite of low-larious. (chuckles) Sam: I begged her not to say that. Carly: I should have listened.
The Smoking Gun Presents: is replete with bad puns, often made by the celebrity panel. If one person makes a particularly egregious one other celebrities will have a Stunned Silence possibly accompanied by Chirping Crickets.
Servo: Hey, that moss has taken a lichen to that tree. Eddie (Mike's brother): Hey! What'd I say about puns?! Servo: To jam them up my... Eddie: That's right!
Later, in the same episode:
Lisa: Nick! Crow: I shaved this morning and got a nick. [Eddie punches Crow in the shoulder, knocking him out of his seat.]
In Future War, Crow and Mike joke about the weird cardboard box maze the scene is set in
Crow: (cheerily) He's boxed in! Mike: Yeah, well I'm cardbored! Servo: Shut up, you two.
During several of the Gamera films, Crow makes either a single truly bad pun or a series of bad puns, which prompts Joel to pull off his arm and toss it across the theater. A couple of times Crow didn't learn his lesson and Joel would yank off the other arm. Gamera vs Guiron is the highlight of this, especially during the Space Gyaos vs Guiron fight; Crow makes so many puns he loses both arms, and when Gurion decapitates his opponent Crow quips "Ah, quit while you're ahead!" and Joel almost pulls him completely apart while Crow yells "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!".
Johnny Carson's "Carnac the Magnificent" on The Tonight Show typically served up plenty of puns and if the audience groaned or booed loudly enough, Carnac would place a funny curse on them in retaliation.
Spaced: Mike is kicked out of the Rough Ramblers after a disastrous Eskimo roll. Tim says:
In "Look Before You Leap", Frasier is attempting an opera song, requiring him to hit an impossibly high note, while Niles is horny due to refusing Maris' rare sexual invite despite their marriage counselor's advice.
Niles: You know, as much as I admire your willingness to take a leap, I did warn you that you were getting into a dangerous aria. (pained laugh) Oh God, I'm using humor to mask sexual frustration. It's high school all over again.
From "Are You Being Served?":
Frasier: Well, that's our show today. But before we close, I'd like to invite you all to join us here at KACL in wishing a fond farewell to our happy chef, Leo Pascale, as he bubble-wraps his crepe pan and heads south towards sunny Santa Fe. Leo, you stirred us with your passion, melted us with your charm, added spice to our lives. Now, as you whisk youself away, let's not say goodbye, but rather, "tar-tar" for now. This is Dr. Frasier Crane, KACL 780. Roz: (coming into the booth, still with a nauseated expression) Well, at least you stopped short of saying, "I'll be 'fricaseeing' you."
Frasier's family is prone to this. In one episode, Daphne is putting on weight and falls down, prompting Frasier, Niles, and Martin to all help her up. Martin, laughing at his own wit, says, "Daphne, I just realized! It took three Cranes to lift you!" Daphne wasn't as amused as Martin was.
In "Dark Victory" Roz gets a package from her family from a dairy farm and talks about how they make cheese-related puns. Frasier invites her over to his father's birthday saying he doesn't like to see her upset, adding "I'm camembert it".
Sabrina the Teenage Witch: In the 17th episode of season 3 ("Sabrina The Teenage Writer") Sabrina writes a spy story on a magic typewriter and her characters, which mirror actual characters of the show, come to life. At one point the mirror character of Dr. Kraft (Dr. Bad) captures Harvey's character Derek (who has a habit of saying bad puns) and ties him to a buzz saw in order to kill him, and then this dialogue happens:
Derek: There's always been an unpleasant edge to you, Dr. Bad. Dr. Bad: (with his hands on his ears) I am killing you, just to stop the puns.
Shooting Stars generally has Vic give one horrible joke in the show. Everybody remains stone-faced, church bells toll, the wind howls and a tumble-weed rolls by before we move on, leaving Vic sweeping into his sleeves. Then Bob tells the exact same joke and everybody laughs.
In CSI: Miami: "That gives a new meaning to the term 'fried hard drive'". Cue silent stare.
NCIS had McGee overusing the same one in one episode, nobody liked it.
In Doctor Who, the Second Doctor apologized for one in "Tomb of the Cybermen" after he fried some Cybermats.
Two: You might almost say they've had a complete metal breakdown. Jamie: (groans) The Doctor: I'm so sorry, Jamie.
The Ninth makes an equally bad one in "The Unquiet Dead" while part of a seance:
Nine: Don't antagonise her. I love a happy medium. Rose: I can't believe you just said that.
Doctor: And the final score is no TARDIS, no screwdriver, two minutes to spare *outstretches arms* WHO DA MAN? * No-one laughs* Doctor: Alright, I'm never saying that again. Fine!
In The Sarah Jane Adventures, Pungeon Master Clyde is telling Jo Jones that her family should spend more time together as her grandson Santiago is feeling neglected. Otherwise "relations with Santiago might get a bit chilly." Even Clyde himself is ashamed of that pun.
Kermit: You like your drums more than food? Animal: They are food! Eat drums, eat cymbals! Kermit: How cymbalic. Animal: Bad joke!!! Bad joke!!!
In the John Denver episode, Denver starts singing "Nobody Knows The Truffles I've Seen" to a gang of sentient mushrooms and gets attacked for it.
In the That '70s Show episode "Holy Crap!" when Kelso wants to grow a beard:
Fez: May I grow one too? Kelso: I don't know Fez, the two of us growing beards together...isn't that kinda girly? Fez: Well, I just figure, the more the hairier! (dead silence) Oh I'm surrounded by idiots!
In the episode "Ramble On" when Fez, having submitted an application for the DMV, is being interview for the position.
Fez: Okay, but one thing that my application doesn't say, is how well I could APPLY myself to the job here. Interviewer: I'm going to have to ask you to stop making puns now.
This is a Running Gag in the show. Fez often makes puns in everyday conversation and he usually gets negative reactions from the people he's around. Especially Hyde.
In an episode of The Worst Witch Mildred and Enid accidentally cast a spell that causes written down numbers to multiply and spread around the entire school. Ms Hardbroom stops the spell and remarks "as for these girls, I think their number's up". She allows herself a giggle before realising that nobody else is laughing.
Jeff: I have a date to catch, or, should I say, a catch to date. Britta: Oof, I hope you just came up with that. (later) Dean Pelton: I expect to see you all at the puppy parade. Except you, Jeffrey - I know you've got a catch to date.
In Remedial Chaos Theory Shirley runs out of the room after her pies burn, and Jeff says she had a mental breakdown.
Pierce: More like a mental- Jeff: Bakedown, I know, I didn't say it on purpose.
Young Blades: In "Enchanted," when D'Artagnan announces that Ramon's new love is a poetess, King Louis asks if she "has good lines," making an hourglass shape in the air. He continues to ask if everyone gets it as they all look awkward or roll their eyes.
In True Blood, Sookie is skeptical when Bill tells her that the vampire bar in Shreveport is called "Fangtasia". He tells her that most vampires are really old, and puns used to be the highest form of humor.
QI. Frequently. When discussing the European habit of kissing cheeks and how Corsicans apparently kiss five times as a greeting:
Stephen Fry: Can you tell me what sort of person kisses five times? 'Course I can! **beat, audience groans** Alan Davies: ...I think you have to leave now.
In the "Holiday" episode, Rob Brydon talks about stamp-collecting:
Rob: I collected stamps for a very brief period like you in my early teens and I gave it up. I just thought- I thought to myself, philately will get me nowhere. [pained reactions from everyone on the panel including Brydon himself, groans from the audience] Bill Bailey: Press the- Go back in time. Go back in time. Rob: [pushes buzzer, which makes a glissando] I collected stamps for a period when I was a teenager and I loved it.
The show had a habit of making Who's on First? jokes using the System Lord Yu. When newcomer Dr. Elizabeth Weir first heard of Yu in "The New Order", she started to make one but Daniel Jackson cut her off, explaining that every possible variant had already been done and it wasn't funny anymore.
When the team first figures out that Ba'al has been cloning himself in "Insiders", they end up having to capture the whole lot and bring them back to the SGC. At one point Cam Mitchell drops this one:
Mitchell:(to CMSgt. Harriman) Chief, we got a full count. Two strikes, three Ba'als. Harriman:(chuckles) Oh. That's clever, sir. Carter:(eye roll) He was thinking that one up the whole way home. Mitchell: Yeah, the whole three seconds.
In Blackadder Goes Forth, Blackadder manages a look of unparalleled contempt while his own firing squad are providing such gems as assuring him that they aim to please.
In March 2007, after another ill-fated pun by Ron MacLean on Coach's Corner on Hockey Night in Canada, MacLean's partner, Don Cherry, curled his lips and shook his head in disgust, a reaction that was arguably funnier than the pun MacLean had tried.
On an episode of Blockbusters, host Bill Cullen made an incredibly bad joke on the answer "rudder": "The first rudder was made in 1241, and that's very recently, because it's only 1:10 now… Boy, I knew that joke wouldn't work." After he explained the joke, the sound effects booth sounded the show's Losing Horns on him.
Owl City's song, "Rugs From Me to You" is full of puns. One of them he apologizes for in-song. He sings, "Excuse the pun, but it's hair today, gone tomorrow."
Kate Micucci's song "Dear Deer" has one of these. 'Some say Pennsylvania's sunny, but I prefer to say it's gunny.' Lampshaded immediately with 'Ok maybe that's not funny, but either way it's way too punny.'
"Cows With Guns" by Dana Lyons has a lampshaded one:
Cows gathered around 'cause the steaks were so high. *guitar strumming* Bad cow pun.
A few of the puns on The Debaters have been bad enough for host Steve Patterson to apologize of behalf of the entire production team.
On Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, host Peter Sagal occasionally pulls this on his own puns. Specifically, the pun with which he introduces the Listener Limerick Challenge (e.g. "In just a minute, Carl tells us about his favorite Transformer, Optimus Rhyme.") seems to get lamer every week. At one point, he followed it with, "Look, if you got better ones, send 'em in, OK?"
Phillips: ..Went down and got a job with the rural electrification in the Navajo Indian reservation, running electric power lines into all the Navajo outhouses. Was one of the first people to wire a head for a reservation! Audience: [laughs, groans]
Notary: When exigence of rhyme compels, Orthography forgoes her spells, And "ghost" is rhymed with "goest". All: With what an emphasis he dwells Upon "orthography" and "spells"! That kind of fun's the lowest.
In Rent Roger and Mark are burning old concert posters and screenplays to keep warm and as they are burning them they sing:
Mark: The music ignites the night with passionate fire!
Roger: The narration crackles and pops with incendiary wit!
In The Complete History of America (abridged), private detective Spade Diamond is being grilled by two toughs on what Lucy Ricardo was doing on the day of JFK's assassination (this Makes Just as Much Sense in Context). The alibi he gives is that she was with him, but wasn't seen with him because she was disguised. One of the toughs snaps back, "So, Lucy was disguised with Diamond." All three then do an Aside Glance as the audience groans. ("I should've seen that coming," Spade confides to the fourth wall.)
From Spamalot, after Arthur and the Knights are given the quest for the Holy Grail, he has to explain to them why they were given the quest.
Amazingly, he manages to top himself in the very next episode, The Siege of Spinner Cay, after receiving a book of 101 Fish Jokes from the Vaycaylian Tetra (many of which also qualify):
Guybrush: I hope it doesn't keep me in stitches or I might need a ... Sturgeon! Tetra: I hate you now.
Tenebrae from Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World absolutely loves groan-inducing puns. At one going, he made one that was so bad that Raine and Genis didn't groan, but instead unloaded on him with their ultimate unison attack from the previous game.
There is an optional scene in Persona 3 where Akihiko, trying to get over his shyness around girls, practices his pick-up lines in secret. Reading that a sense of humor is vital, he makes an utterly horrid pun ("Want to go to that Beef Bowl place?... I hope I 'meat' you there!"), then promptly chastises himself:
(Beat) Yukiko: I'm sorry. Was I supposed to laugh? (Team continues on while Teddie falls over in defeat)
In Namco × Capcom, there's a stage where EVERYONE starts making these in the Japanese version. It even highlights in red what the pun is supposed to be. To the characters, it gets old really fast.
Kingdom of Loathing is chock full of references and puns, occasionally even the narrator recognizes how terrible some of them are. For example:
"This is a dairy goat. Insert a pun on "udderly" and "utterly", if you're the kind of guy who doesn't get punched in the face enough." ** Then, later in the fight:
"She swings her udder at you, but misses. She's an udder failure. Yeah, go ahead and punch me in the face."
There's also the baseball bat monster, "a bat with the body of a baseball. And the heart of a bad pun."
In the Japanese version of Ar Tonelico 2, Infel has a penchant for these, with Croix reacting appropriately after every single one. This is completely lost in the English version of the game as it seems Infel's text was translated word-for-word, and Japanese puns normally don't work in other languages. Croix still reels after each joke, confusing many English-speaking players.
Here is a random conversation bit taken from an ERCS Guard in a bug-ridden research lab in 'Mass Effect 1:
Science pukes. Should just bug out and leave 'em to die. All their fault anyway. [beat] Heh. "Bug out." Heh. Heh.
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: 'Why am I, Phoenix Wright, such a good lawyer? Because I'm "Wright" all the time!' It's actually a pretty good pun, Maya just doesn't think so. She warms up to it eventually.
Icewind Dale II has an enemy boss utilizing trained war bears. Before fighting him, if asked how his own bears don't tear him to shreds, he points out the magical collars they 'bear'. The main character Deadpan Snarker is quick to point out the slip up, at which point the boss essentially disowns the pun with embarrassment claiming it unintentional.
Fang: He thinks we're lunch. Sazh: Like a L'Cie food buffet. Light: "Cie Food", cute...
The various Artix Entertainment games (AdventureQuest, DragonFable, MechQuest...) are crammed so full of puns that this sort of lampshading is inevitable on occasion. An example: at one point in the Archknight storyline of Dragonfable, main character Ash Dragonblade is facing a necromancer who specializes in evil trees called Deadwoods. He makes so many terrible tree-related puns that the necromancer flips out and attacks him out of sheer annoyance.
One of the achievements in ''Legendary: The Box;; is a pun called "Dou-Bull Trou-Bull", which you get for defeating 2 Minotaurs who are fighting you at the same time. Right after you get that achievement, though, you get another achievement titled "I owe you an apology", where the lead designer apologizes for making such a lame pun.
Final Fantasy V has a few. Most notably, when the protagonists are hanging on a ship mast:
Xezat: I'm coming! Hang in there! Galuf: That pun is so bad, I'm gonna fall on purpose...
Early in Banjo Tooie you must shoot down a few pesky flies that are eating through an anthropomorphic cow's crops. Upon completion of the task she exclaims, "A-maizing! I corn hardly believe it! You wheatly sorted those flies out!", to which Kazooie quips that she's had enough of the "crop jokes".
Palutena: That Great Reaper has quite the evil eye! Pit: How could you be making puns at a time like this?! Palutena: I guess I just don't SEE the problem with a little levity. Pit: Agh! You're killing me here!
Before the final boss of Sonic Colors, Sonic comments on Eggman's repeated amusement park puns.
Eggman: Leaving so soon? There are no lines, and I've saved the best rides for last! At least let me STAMP your hand so you can come back in. Sonic: I know you're trying to be clever with this whole amusement park pun thing, but it's just coming off lame. Say you're going to destroy us and stop embarrassing yourself. Eggman: Curse you, Sonic! Not only do you foil my plans, but you foil my speeches as well! I work hard on them!
During Uncharted 2, there's an achievement for jumping into the pool at the top of the Nepal hotel. If you do, Nathan (who is attempting to retrace Marco Polo's discovery of Shangri-La) will yell out "Marco!" Chloe will be left utterly dumbstruck.
In a side-quest in Borderlands 2, Back Alley Doctor Dr. Zed has you pick up a shipment from an "arms dealer". Said shipment turns out to be actual severed human arms. The flavor text after you complete the quest says that the pun may have been more painful than all the injuries you've sustained so far in your quest.
This page of DOUBLE K. In the words of the writer: "KAMINA just pissed away every cool point he earned over the last 25 pages, way to go buddy".
King Astos of had been shaping up to be the major antagonist in the Elfland subplot of 8-Bit Theater. Just before the assumed climactic battle would transpire, an incredibly lame pun by Red Mage wrecked the tension. The following pun by Black Mage was so lame that King Astos died immediately upon hearing it. (The author of the webcomic is a fan of such Anti Climaxes, by the way.)
Also, when it finally sinks into Fighter's thick skull that Thief is actually the Prince of Elfland:
Cutter: Honking our horn ain't enough. I say we flash them our hi-beams. Vanderbeam: How would we do that? Cutter: Say hi, Beams. Vanderbeam: Guh.
Casey and Andy features the (extremely lethal) Pun Police. In one strip a villain successfully kills Andy by inducing him to make a bad pun.
In thisThe Order of the Stick, Vaarsuvius has sworn not to interfere in the battle except in self-defense... or if Elan's puns drive him/her crazy.
Elan: "C'mon, Nale, don't be a sword loser!" Nale: "Ugh, that was horrible! I swear, I'm going to kill you, then pay a cleric to raise you, and kill you again, just to make you pay for the puns!"
In Jailhouse Blues the character of Bean Man has puns so bad, or at least so undignified, that his creator forbids him from using them. He does anyway and earns himself a rather painful death in the process.
The prediction of a future one occurs in the second podcast episode (for the record, they only used it twice in the end.)
Kaiser: You thought Frieza was cool. Huh? Huh? Lani: His brother's Cooler. [Taka groans and vomits] Lani: Get ready for that about twenty more times during that movie. We literally have that line in there twenty times, and we haven't even written it yet.
Edds World often features puns, mainly from the title character, but from other sources, too.
Tom:Hey. What did our neigh...BOORS want? Edd:You and the water are very similar, Matt. You're both SHALLOW!
In Spoony's Let's Play of Phantasmagoria 2, he made more than a few horrible puns and then smacks himself for doing so.
Andy Zaltzman's terrible puns in The Bugle frequently lead to John Oliver begging for mercy. On at least one occasion, the show's producer has resigned (and then been re-hired to find out some obscure piece of trivia).
Several appear throughout LoadingReadyRun's Phailhaüs series, one of which resulted in Matt being banned from Phailhaüs for a year''.
In addition, any Crap Shot entitled "The Punishment" is essentially Alex making a bad pun, followed by Graham dishing out Cool and Unusual Punishment for it.
Self-inflicted one in Freeman's Mind, in which Gordon comments about the ceiling, with "What's up with the ceiling?" after which he realizes that he just made a pun and groans.
Simmons: And I'll be Agent Denial. Yehehit's, because a state of denial, like the saying? You know, it's like a, I was, you know, the whole State/state thing? You know it's a, joke. Grif:No dude, jokes are funny.
The Freelance Astronauts can fall into this, depending on the game. Usually whoever makes the lamest puns gets punched for his troubles.
In the review of Mass Effect. "You only get to see like one second of bare ass anyways, so it will hardly make your Mass Erect!" Later, in the end credits he admits that "Yeah this whole review was leading up to that horrible pun at the end"
The review of "Metro Last Night" ends with the words: "When Art Yom eats food does he go om yom yom (Oh for fuck's sake)"
Linkara: Holy crap, Frank Miller makes worse puns than you, Film Brain! Film Brain: I never thought such a thing could be accomplished.
Not that's he's blameless either:
Film Brain: Did he just break the fourth wall? Linkara: Don't worry - we're atop it! Audience: [Collective Groan] Caption:Channel Awesome would like to apologise for that pun. The writer has been flogged for his sins.
Coach Z from Homestar Runner, who commonly dresses up in Hip-Hop costumes for Halloween, once dressed up as a sheet of paper in 2010. When prompted, he stated he was (w)rapping paper. Cue Collective Groan from the rest of the cast.
In the Strong Bad Email "lackey", an easter egg has Puppet Homestar Runner starring in a variety show with Doreauxgard, the cantaloupe puppet Strong Bad created. When Homestar offers Doreauxgard the position of "produce-er", Doreauxgard quips "Forget you, Whitey, I'm going solo!" and walks away.
Stuart Ashen once reviewed a POP Station that "looks like a fat batarang: a fatarang!" He apologizes quickly after.
After positively reviewing The Hunger Games, Mike Stoklasa says he's "hungry for more Hunger Games." Then he vomits.
Two Best Friends Play: The Last of Us. Pat has the controller. When Ellie starts reading bad puns from a joke book ("You want to hear a joke about pizza? ... Never mind, it's really cheesy"), Pat responds by wordlessly unholtering his gun and pointing it at Ellie's face. Low ammo was probably the only reason he didn't pull the trigger.
From None Piece: Luffy mentions that he doesn't want to get roped into anything stupid. Cue Nami tying him up with a rope.
Luffy: Wow! I actually felt myself die a little inside!
(Batman and Robin come across a sign that says "Loser's Ahead.")
Robin: "Loser's Ahead?"
(The duo turns a corner, two giant shurikens come out of nowhere, and the duo ducks just before the blades lob their heads off.)
Batman: Loses a head. I don't know what's worse, the traps or the puns.
In Batman Beyond "Dead Man's Hand," Bruce explains to Terry how the Royal Flush Gang are old-school gimmick villains, only committing robberies for items related to playing card suits (such as diamonds). Why their heist on a yacht for miscellaneous non-diamond jewelry, then? "It was in a yacht club." They're both disgusted by the pun.
In "Osama Bin Laden has Farty Pants", the first episode of South Park to air after 9/11, Towelie makes a cameo appearance. Discovering the kids don't want him around, he asks, "Am I to understand there's been a... Towelie ban?" Everyone else groans, once they figure it out.
At least half of the things Numbuh Two says in Codename: Kids Next Door. It really bothered Numbuh Five. (When the kids go to a Negative World, Negative Numbah 2 makes everyone laugh their ass off.)
Pick any episode in Kung Fu Dino Posse and you will hear at least one of these. Or several.
Beast Boy from Teen Titans frequently makes jokes which his teammates hate. There are too many to list here, but here are a few:
He throws the Brain into a freezing machine saying something like "Dudes check it out! BRAIN FREEZE". The entire hero cast (plus some extras) groans in dismay.
Blackfire: Hey, Beast Boy, what's up? Beast Boy: Nothing but the ceiling! (Blackfire laughs) See, Raven, she thinks I'm funny. Raven: Statistically, I suppose somebody has to.
In "Shades of Gray", the ghost dog burst into the school and Danny responds with "Who let the dogs in?". Right afterwards, Danny had to explain the joke and decided to save some face to get the dog out. Sam responds with, "Bring better jokes!"
Danny: There's a "you blew it" pun here somewhere, but... I'd rather not. ... Spectra: Let's boogie! Danny: Ya' see, that was the kind of pun I was trying to avoid with the whole "you blew it" comment.
In "Wet Painters", SpongeBob and Patrick have to disguise the fact that they got a spot on Mr. Krabs' first dollar. They hang several paintings in front of it, which Mr. Krabs take off one-by-one. Eventually, Spongebob himself is hanging on the wall.
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what are you doing? Spongebob: Oh, you know ... just hanging around! Patrick: Boooooo!
The infamous "Rock-A-Bye-Bivalve" even had a lame pun. When SpongeBob gives his pants to the scallop for it to sleep there, he finds the time to crack a joke.
SpongeBob: There you go. (points to his backside) It's the best seat in the house. (pan to Gary doing a rimshot)
From "Shell Shocked":
SpongeBob: I guess all's shell that ends shell! Gary: <locks SpongeBob out of the house>
In "Pre-Hibernation Week":
Sandy:(Tosses a fishing pole to Spongebob.) Come on SpongeBob, (pan to a plane) We're going fly-fishing! (Cue cut to a live-action guy doing a rimshot)
In "Pranks a Lot", a barrage of them between SpongeBob and Patrick eventually end with the narrator saying "Several bad puns later."
In the episode "Pokey Mom" involving Homer, a prison warden, and a painting of a unicorn in outer space, there's this exchange:
Warden: I mean, look at this! It's a unicorn in outer space! I mean, what's it breathin'? Homer: Air? Warden: Ain't no air 'n space! Homer: There's an Air 'n' Space Museum. *grins like an idiot, and then is thrown out of the prison*
Also, there was one emitted by Homer when commencing a roast against Mr. Burns for his birthday (and in case you're wondering why it fits, its because shortly afterwards, he drops his pants and proceeds to moon Mr. Burns and the audience, a caricature of Burns' face is on his butt, and he tries to quote Mr. Burns).
Homer: Now here's an impression of Mr. Burns that is incredibly... cheeky.
Mr. Peabody would end every segment of his show with a pun pertaining to the era they had visited, to the chagrin of Sherman. In one episode, Sherman pays Mr. Peabody back.
In another episode, Bullwinkle discovers a toy boat covered in rubies, with the name "Omar Kayam" inscribed on the side. When Rocky asks, "Do you know what this is?" Bullwinkle waits a beat before answering, "If you're waiting for me to provide the answer, you're in for a long wait!" Rocky shrugs and gamely announces (much to Bullwinkle's chagrin) that they now have the Ruby Yacht of Omar Kayam.
In the episode "Meet the Beat-Alls", Mojo justifies stealing eggs and other white items because "it's all right as they're all white!" The terrible pun prompts Princess to drop the eggs and groan in disgust.
In "I See A Funny Cartoon In Your Future," Blossom finds a tarot card as a clue to a string of thefts, to which she announces that it's the work of a "tarot-ist." Bubbles feels our pain.
One of The Fairly OddParents episodes had a monkey gain access to Timmy's wishing power, and turns everything in the world to monkey versions - including the town name, which goes from "Dimmsdale" to "Chimpsdale". When Timmy notices this he mutters, "When this is all over, I'm wishing for a world without puns..." Later in the episode, during a history lession, mention is made of the "Declar-ape-tion of Independence". AJ comments along the lines of "If that wasn't historically accurate, I would say it was the most horrific pun ever."
When she fought the Mathter, a Riddler expy who specialized in math-themed crimes, he used appropriate math-themed puns, like "Time to subtract you from the equation!", or "Let me throw some numbers at you,"(as he tossed digit-shaped grenades), or "I've left your boyfriend with a new problem to solve." Finally, an irate Kim shouted, "Okay, one more lame-o math reference, and I am going to LOSE IT!"
As Kim and Ron raided the headquarters of international thief Falsetto Jones, she noticed a huge pool on the villain's property:
Kim: Let me guess, Wade. Crocs? Sharks? Wade: No, electric eels. Kim: And the villain puns just write themselves. "Shocking, isn't it?"
This one is thought of as god-awful in universe, spotting Duff's hideout Ron comments...
In Drawn Together, during the episode "The One Wherein There Is A Big Twist, Part II", Xandir tells Strawberry Sweetcake (an obvious parody of Strawberry Shortcake) "You're gonna be spending a CHOCO-LOTTA time locked up behind CANDY bars!". There is a long silence after which Princess Clara whispers to Xandir "God dammit, I hate you!".
Also when Xandir makes a Title Drop pun on how they are all "Drawn together". In the film the killer robots all aimed their laser sights at his head when he said that.
In Jimmy Two-Shoes, while playing a carnival game that involves rabbits, Jimmy remarks "Well then, I'll hop right to it", eliciting a groan from the booth attendant.
Stewie tries to make a few in the episode "The Thin White Line". After Brian has an emotional breakdown because of his drug habit, Stewie makes an attempt of humor, calling Brian first a "melan-collie" and then a "chi-wah wah!". He is infuriated to find that nobody else finds this funny.
In "Amish Guy":
Lois: I can't believe we're stuck in Amish country! Stewie: I thought something was Amish [pronounced 'a-mish' (amiss)]. (gets smacked by Brian)
Occasionally used in The Tick. One of the more painful ones was
El Seed: Soldiers of corn! Lend me your ears! Tick: Ooh, that's bad.
Duckman: In the episode "Ebony, Baby" (a full-on Blaxploitation mock), we have this exchange:
Tawnze: Enough shop talk. What do you need? Ebony: Information. One of my clients was murdered; Victor Demann. Tawnze: ...I shoulda known you was workin' for Demann.
In "All Fall Down," this takes place as he and Penfold search for the villainous serpent Mac The Fork:
DM: (to Colonel K) Don't worry, sir, we'll soon weed out that snake in the grass. Penfold: Yes, then he'll be all for-lawn. Hee hee! Colonel K: Wha? What's that, Penfold? DM: Forget it, sir. he's just having one of his turns. Over and out.
This from the episode "Mechanised Mayhem" where Penfold is about to be sucked into one of two sentient vacuum cleaners:
Vacuum: Ha! This one's in the bag! D.M. Don't get taken in, Penfold! Penfold: Any more jokes like that and it'll be almost be worth it!
Even later in the episode after DM captures the sentient telephone leading a mechanical revolution:
Penfold: He must be the ringleader. DM: (stifling a laugh) "Ringleader!" You complain about the jokes!?
In the Bond-parody episode of American Dad!, "Tearjerker", Stan's boss Avery Bullock meets him in a Japanese restaurant, with both dressed as geishas.
Done by Billy in The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy after he splits his nose in half to share with a nasal-mancer, or nose wizard, who was using an enchanted scent to lure all the noses of the city to the shopping mall he inhabited to find a replacement nose after he lost his, which was later found by Mandy but blown up during a inflated nose-balloon chase (It Makes Sense in Context)
Billy: Snot a problem! (Billy's half of his nose comes alive and smacks him with a steak in annoyance)
The steak hitting his face was actually a running gag in the episode as he made two bad jokes earlier:
Mandy: Let's try a stakeout. Billy: (moving a steak away from his face) I tried that but it didn't work. (tosses it aside, only for it to fly back and smack his face.) (Later) Billy: Why do I have to sleep? Mandy: Because, out of the three of us, you have the nose. Billy: Oh. I nose that. (steak flies by and hits him again)
In A DuckTales Valentine, Huey, Dewey and Louie find a chest in a sunken Greek temple. When they wonder what the inscription on the lid is supposed to mean, Launchpad quips "It's Greek to me!" There's an awkward pause, after which Launchpad says defensively "Well, somebody had to say it."
At the end of the Adventure Time episode "Loyalty to the King", Finn describes exposing the Nice King as just the Ice King with his beard cut off as "a close shave", which earns a groan, a chuckle, and a Face Palm from Jake.
In "Beautopia", Finn asks Jake to make some hazelnut coffee, then randomly wonders what would happen if Jake changed his name to "Zelnut"
Finn: And then I would be like, "Hey, Zelnut!" Jake: That's terrible. Finn: Hey, Zelnut! Jake: (flinches) Nooo!Stop!
Arthur's dad:(referring to the idea of taking a weekend trip to Washington, D.C.) It's a capital idea! (deadly silence) "It's a capital idea." Washington's the nation's capital, geddit? Arthur: Yeah, Dad, I got it the first time.
Worth mentioning is the time the titular character attempts this. After throwing away a couple of rocks the group had been carrying around the entire episode, he comments "let's rock and roll", cue rimshot. After being told he should just leave the puns to everyone else he delivers "and we shall leave no stone unturned"(groan).
The pilot of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends features Mac yelling "Let's Bloo this!" confidently before taking on Duchess and his brother Terrence. The scene is temporarily halted when Bloo and his new friends chide him for the lame pun. Shortly afterward Mac starts to talk and everyone begs "Please don't!" Mac sighs and says "Let's do this."
In one episode of Garfield and Friends, Binky the Clown is arrested and brought to trial, for crimes that were actually committed by an Evil Twin named Stinky. Garfield steps in to prove Binky's innocence. He lures Stinky into the courtroom and then, as confusion mounts over which Binky is the real one, Garfield hands the judge a script of the show.
Judge:(reading script) "Order in the court." Binky: I'll have a ham on rye! Hold the mayo! (cackles) Garfield:(pointing to the Binky who just spoke)There's the real Binky. Judge: Arrest that phony! Stinky:(dragged away) Hey! You can't do this to me! I'll get you for this, cat! Garfield:(looks at the camera)The real Binky could never resist a very old joke.
In an episode of House of Mouse, Mickey protests that since Scrooge McDuck bought the club, it's been turning into the "House of Baby Chicks", which Horace doesn't get.