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Lets Play: Freelance Astronauts
"Playing games and saying stuff."

A troupe of American LPers, the Freelance Astronauts are four goons who decided to try their hand at Let's Plays from the sub-forums of Something Awful. Within a couple of years, they have become some of the most popular characters of the forum, and one of the most famous LPers from the forum, even with many non-goon fans. They consist of four main members.

They are also joined frequently by guests on Skype, commonly Drakkel, Irregular Hunter, Ashley, PlasmaMan, and retsupurae co-star Diabetus.

See their stuff here, a list of the majority of the games LPed with links here, as well as their individual video accounts here, here, here, here, here, here, and one of the first games here (their stuff is spread out all over the place).

Also almost every Saturday they have a stream at 9 or 9:30 (the time can and most likely will vary greatly) PM Eastern US time. You can watch it either on their site or on Ustream Or here!

While most of the content on Viddler has been lost, a very awesome fan of the Freelance Astronauts known as "expjeans" has reuploaded all of (or at the very least most of) the videos onto his youtube account, for all of their fans to re-enjoy. The Internet Archive also has a collection of their videos here, with some of the lost Viddler content.

In addition, there is a separate page dedicated towards a one-time gag of theirs, The Tale of Sephiroth Goku the Stampede.

The Freelance Astronauts provide examples of:

  • Action Girl: Dongs REO Speedwagon can look after herself.
  • Affectionate Parody: Despite all the vitriol aimed at anime, the jokes are aimed at specific enough targets to prove they're fans. Also, Maxwell has a Mii of Gendo Ikari.
    pipes!: "Watch out for the Anti-Spirals!"
    • Music from Neon Genesis Evangelion plays during some of the battles in the Oblivon LP.
    • A couple of listens to the "Sephiroth Goku The Stampede" sequence contains a lot of well-hidden references to several anime and anime archetypes, considering the whole joke is one enormous anime Cliché Storm. invoked
    • It's established that Maxwell is a fan of anime.
  • Amusing Injuries: Ferr.
  • Angrish:
    • pipes! does this a fair amount. Perhaps his crowning achievement in Angrish (as Luigi) can be found here.
  • Arbitrary Skepticism: Evek questions the physics behind the falling moon in Majora's Mask
    Evek: So, they don't take into account any gravity field from the moon, it's just sitting there in the atmosphere?
    Ferr: You're a tree. You're a boy who is a tree. And the moon has a giant face on it. No, there is no gravity field.
    Evek: ...touché.
  • The Aristocrats: Ferr turns the tale of Sephiroth Goku the Stampede into this, making it even funnier.
  • Ass Shove: What Ferr and Evek thinks makes Epona run faster, complete with sound effect.
    • In the Majora's Mask LP, while searching for Lulu's eggs...
    Ferr: Do they have to put the eggs back inside of her so she can sing?
    Maxwell: It's a plot right out of The Little Mermaid.
    Evek: Heh. Open wide.
    Maxwell: Fish girl, lost her voice and you need to put eggs inside of her.
    Evek: Open wide...
    Ferr: Wrong end.
    • Don't forget Asswings!
  • Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!!: In their playthrough of Twilight Princess, the group distract Ganondorf in the final battle by dangling a fishing rod in front of him, which actually takes his attention away enough for Lonk to land a few potshots.
    • Maxwell also suffered from this during their playthrough of Grand Theft Auto: Vice City after obtaining the tiger-striped cab from the Kaufmann's Cabs missions, and planned to park it in one of his larger garages....before he lost interest and went off to roll an SUV through a window.
      • In the LP of Crysis Maxwell stops midsentence to chase some Kiwis.
  • Badass Mustache: Apparently pipes!'s father grew one during the Mass Effect LP.
    • He had optimal mustache.
  • Back from the Dead: Drew the Dreugh
  • Big "NO!": All of the commentators, save Maxwell, after Link in Majora's Mask throws a valuable Powder Keg off of the edge of Snowpeak.
    All: NOOOOOOOOOO!
    Maxwell: Maybe that's not him.
    (Finds a Barrel labeled "Drew's Body Parts")
    All: *gasp* NOOOOOOOOO!
    • Another in Oblivion when they find the body of their deceased comrade Tiny Archer, a Kvatch town guard they had shrunken using console commands who had a career in on-the-scene reporting.
    pipes!(as Tiny Archer): There appear to be dinosaurs, bipedal dinosaurs coming over the ridge! Back to you Tom.
    • During the Tetris video, pipes! lets out one when Maxwell Adams gets two consecutive Tetrises and throws his board into a tizzy.
    pipes!: (over all the laughter from everyone else) HOLY SHIT, NO! NOOOOOOO, THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANTED!!
    • Also Maxwell during the Kirby Super Star LP whenever pipes! turns him into another less useful Helper.
    Maxwell: Ah-NOOOOOoooo I didn't want that!
  • Big "WHAT?!": Also in the Tetris video, pipes! yells out FOUR of these in a row when, after Maxwell gets a Tetris, his screen is filled and he loses.
  • BFG: The Astronauts' opinion of Killer7 improves considerably when Harman's gigantic wheelchair-mounted sniper rifle comes into play.
  • Black Comedy Rape: Frequently, particularly with the mummies/zombies in the 3D Zelda games, and has culminated in a priceless moment where Link cries afterwards. Also...
    Ferr: They don't call me Jackhammer Custernote  for nothing.
  • Brick Joke: Maxwell reveals he stored a couple of military vehicles and helicopters in garages early on in the GTA: Vice City LP shortly before he spends two episodes dicking around in a flying tank. Many, many episodes later, he takes a tank out of one of the garages during a mission...
  • Brief Accent Imitation: Usually Southern U.S. or Bri'ish Coppa.
    • In this video, pipes! and Ferr briefly (and rather inexplicably) do stereotypical Italian and French accents.
  • Butt Monkey: Often Ferr, by way of Amusing Injuries.
  • Catch Phrase: "You got X'ed, son!". Used most often by pipes!, although the others sometimes get in on it.
    • Ferr's, "More lines than a X, son!" in the Tetris video.
    • "My name is X, and I'm an anime!" done in a high pitched voice.
    • "Hey, it's that dog."
    • "Son of a whore!"
    • pipes! has "Oh you fucker!" and occasionally "Oh, you other fucker!" on top of his compound swears.
    • Who's a dick?! You'se a dick!!
    • The group usually gives a collective "'eeey!" whenever they make a discovery after minutes of pointless wandering.
    • Now Luigi is the X-iest!
    • pipes!'s "YOU'VE RUINED CHRISTMAS!" when someone screws up.
    • pipes! loves to toss out "Aww, he thinks he's people", or some variation thereof.
  • Chekhov's Gun: A few do pop up now and again in their LPs, but one rather good example that actually worked surprisingly well was in their Vice City LP. At some point early in the LP, Maxwell stored a golf cart in one of his residences. Several videos later, the Cop Land mission pops up. Guess which vehicle they end up using to escape from the cops, on a 5-star rating, without getting totaled.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: New Super Mario Bros. Wii, Lemmings and Tetris really turns the air blue. Basically any chance they get to screw each other over will be followed by howls of very imaginative cursing, usually from pipes!.
    • The group's swearing during New Super Mario Bros. Wii was graphed. Due to this, and him being drunk, pipes! held almost 70% of the share.
    • A compilation of quite a lot of the soundfiles arranged here.
  • The Comically Serious/Straight Man: Maxwell Adams, probably.
    • Irregular Hunter.
  • Continuity Nod: During the Wii Sports Archery:
    pipes!: Have you learned nothing from JFK? Or are you unable to hit a target that isn't a former president?
    Maxwell (a few minutes later): Three days...
    • Also happened earlier in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. Even more fitting, considering that (as Max demonstrated) if you shoot the moon with a sniper rifle, it gets bigger/closer.
  • Dark Horse Victory: The computer opponent quite a few times in the Bomberman videos.
  • A Day in the Limelight: pipes! is Player One in Kirby Super Star while Max plays the helper. Evek has plied his trade in a few episodes of Overlord. Ferr is the one who plays through The Oregon Trail, Postal 2, and some levels of Overlord and he also takes up Max's mantle as the player in Vice City for a few videos... just in time for The Driver mission, too.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Anyone that isn't pipes!, but especially Ferr and Diabetus.
    • Special mention also goes to Apetit and REO Speedwagon.
  • Deep South: Expect a hurricane of southern stereotype jokes whenever Diabetus is a guest commentator or posting in the livestream. Most noticeable in the LPs of North & South and Power Stone (the latter through livestream comments).
  • Distant Finale: The end to the Astronauts' first Let's Play of Seaman had them warping ahead through a few years of in-game time (1,825 days, to be exact) to see what would have become of their two Seamen if they had been left unattended for that long. Cue one of the most depressing things they've ever filmed: the sign with the Seaman on it that makes up the title screen is scratched and desolate-looking. There are no Seamen in the tank, no eggs, no nothing. The terrarium which is used for growing moths is similarly bare. Even Leonard Nimoy, narrator of the whole game up to that point no matter what had been happening up to that point, abandoned them, the game apparently having nothing to say to the players after so much time passed with nothing but neglect. Ferr was freaked out enough to start apologizing frantically on the spot.
  • Domestic Abuse: During a playthrough of some terrible NES games, pipes! and Ferr theorise this to be Maxwell's masochistic relationship with Nintendo Hard games such as F-Zero GX.
    Ferr: You'll go to his door and knock, and he'll open it just a tiny crack and he'll be all bruised up in the face and you'll be like "Are you okay what happened?" and he'll be "I...I fell down." "Did F-Zero do something to you, do I...do you want me to come in?" "No no it's I...this house is a mess I...I have to go." (Beat) ...abusive relationships are hilarious.
  • Drop The Tank: Running Gag in their Mass Effect LP.
  • Eagle Land: During the RE4 LP,
    Maxwell: I'm noticing that the more American I get, the more victory I have.
  • Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: Maxwell may be an evil bastard to his friends in New Super Mario Bros. Wii, and quite the renegade in Mass Effect, but then came this little nugget during 4-Player Bomberman.
    Wolf Shirt: Maxwell, if your mom and Ferr were trapped in a fire, who would you save?
    Maxwell: Uhhhh, probably my mom.
    Everyone: Awwwwwww...
  • Evil Laugh: Ferr, during the LP of Lemmings, after he kills about 50 Lemmings to prevent Maxwell from getting them.
    • And again from Ferr during the Master Quest LP after a rather strange discussion about a train being powered by ground-up mummies.
    • Maxwell also does this during Power Stone 2 after obtaining a powerup that turned his character into a robot, and then he begins to slaughter everyone.
    pipes!: That's a horrible laugh, I don't like that!
  • Exactly What It Says on the Tin: Ten seconds into their New Super Mario Bros. Wii playthrough, pipes! christens the game Super Asshole Bros. Wii. 4-ish hours of backstabbing, juvenile humour, and screaming nonsensical death threats promptly follow.
  • The Faceless: Formerly Ferr; back in the New Year's Special, Ferr refused to show his face for the camera (he opted to show his hand — as a talking face). For the longest time, whenever there was fanart of Ferr, his face is obscured. He finally revealed himself on the livestream party on March 12, 2011.
    • According to the Twitter feed, which acknowledged this entry, whoever posted that image didn't get the right guy. THE MYSTERY CONTINUES!
  • Fantastic Racism: See You All Look Familiar. Also:
    Maxwell: *after a sweet moment* Ashley's a really nice person, isn't she?
    Ashley: *in front of a sitting salarian* I can't tell the aliens from the animals.
    Maxwell: *nonchalant* Oh, that's right, I forgot. She's a racist.
    • During their Bomberman LP:
    Maxewll: Okay, Evek is black guy, Ferr is white guy, I'm red guy and the CPU is playing as blue guy.
    Evek: Well excuse me, he's blue-guy American!
  • Four Man Band:
  • Four-Temperament Ensemble: Maxwell is Choleric, Evek is Melancholic, pipes! is Sanguine, and Ferr is Phlegmatic.
  • Giant Enemy Crab: One attacks and kills Dongs REO Speedwagon in the Oblivion playthrough after they decided to mess around with the scaling settings on a normal-sized crab.
  • Giant Bullet Bill From Nowhere: A fit of screaming, laughing, and then crying ensues when a colossal Bullet Bill appears out of nowhere and runs down all four Astronauts in a level of the New Super Mario Bros Wii Hackpack.
  • A Good Name for a Rock Band: In their Oblivion LP, Ferr says that "'Tiny Archer' would be a good name for a CNN correspondent".
  • Gonk: Dongs REO Speedwagon in all her incarnations.
  • Groin Attack: All those robots in the X-Men arcade game.
  • Hidden Depths: Ferr actually knows Latin, having taken it in high school.
  • Hitbox Dissonance: Apparently, sitting down in Mass Effect makes you very difficult to hit, even with tank fire.
  • Hunting the Most Dangerous Game: The Haunted Mii, or "Little Billy from the Make-A-Wish Foundation" during Wii Sports Resort's Archery.
    pipes!: See, little Billy's actual last wish wasn't to compete in an archery tournament, it was to hunt the most dangerous game of all.
  • Hurricane of Puns: During the Kickboat Saga.
    Maxwell: "It's a point and kick interface."
    Ferr: "It's Das Boot!"
    pipes!: "I'm gonna kick it into high gear!"
    Ferr: "We're kickin' it old school."
    ...
    pipes!: You kicked your way out of the game. ...It kicked you out! Ha ha ha! You just got booted from the server.
    Ferr: Next time they should try to bee good.
    Maxwell: Oh, don't bee that way.
    Ferr: I'm looking up their bee-hinds.
    ...
    • When playing a Japanese cooking-themed homebrew platformer in the intermission of their Wii Sports Resort playthrough, we get a bunch of wok-related puns when they fight a boss that they dub "Wok Man".
    • With Ferr around, this is generally an inevitability.
    • In Crysis pipes! lets loose a storm.
    Maxwell: (deadpan, to pipes!) You're gonna go to Pun Jail.
  • Hypocritical Humor: Whilst playing a hacked out the ass file of Twilight Princess, early dungeon in the game:
    Maxwell: Let's go ahead and break some sequence here. You open in with a lantern, like this. *Ker-turn into a human when you can't and set a spider web on fire to get into the dungeon* Nnnnah, I'm not gonna break it that badly. *Ker-gets on giant spinny top you can't get into until the fourth dungeon and flies away*
  • Incredibly Lame Pun: In the first vid of the Crysis LP, Diabetus gave us this little gem:
    Diabetus: I think vampires get upset when they go to download sites, and have to use mirrors.
  • In-Joke: Maxwell stopped being good at games in 1995.
  • It Is Pronounced Tro PAY: Maxwell and co. refer to the Freezards from the Zelda series as icy "Day-liks", possibly referring to the Daleks (Dah-lek) from Doctor Who.
    • Also, in the Majora's Mask LP:
    pipes!: ...Pavlovianly conditioning you not to stick carrots in the ass. Games within games.
    Ferr: Within games?
    Doomisland: That's so meta. (he pronounces it meat-a)
    Maxwell Adams: I thought you pronounced that "met-a".
    Doomisland: Whatever.
    pipes!: ...Scraping the fourth wall.
    Ferr: What-ayver.
    • And Drakkel thinking dysentery is pronounced "Dis-Sentery" in The Oregon Trail LP.
    Diabetus: I can't wait to get me some dys-SENTRY from these tortilays! Maybe after I get some dys-SENTRY, I can play some O-raygun Traylay.
    Drakkel: Origin Trial.
    Diabetus: I only have so many sets of cloth-ing. Look at your mape. Maybe you should buy some soup-lees!
    • Ferr also refers to Fort Bridger in that game as "Fort Brigadier".
  • It's Quiet... Too Quiet: Said word for word in Serious Sam
  • Legacy Character: Dongs REO Speedwagon makes her triumphant return in Saints Row 2, though eventually Maxwell scraps the character out of sheer disgust.
    • In The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time Master Quest, we see the heroic adventure of Lunk. Later, in Twilight Princess, we see another incarnation, Lonk, make his debut. On his horse, Speedwag.
      • And once more in their LP of The Oregon Trail.
      • They recently began a new LP of Mass Effect, featuring the far-in-the-future descendant, Dongs Shepard. She is considerably better looking than her ancestors.
      • For those of you who are curious, the first streaming of the game featured Dongs as a woman. However, when it came up on youtube, the first hour of the LP was replaced by a different LP, where Dongs is some sort of Half-Of-Everything creature with no neck. Literally.
  • Logic Bomb: "Invisible walls you can walk through" from Master Quest.
  • Mad Scientist: Give Maxwell access to a character creator and/or game mod and he will invariably create some kind of abomination.
  • Missing Episode: Their first recording of The Shadow Temple failed. They did record it again, but they sped up to the point of the video being only a minute long, with Yakety Sax playing over it. Oh, What Could Have Been.
  • Mood Whiplash: So Ferr's playing through Ballion, and everything's easy and dandy. And then Level 8 shows up (skip to 7:31 for the breakdown, but it's funnier if you watch the entire thing).
  • Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: Maxwell's idea for a game, Jetpack Raptor. A fighting game where you choose your ratio of jetpack to raptor. Flare guns and grappling hooks are optional.
  • No Indoor Voice: pipes!
    "Whenever the mic input volume meter jumps up into the red, I know I've told a good joke."
  • "No. Just... No" Reaction: During a Star Fox playthrough:
    Ferr: They're flying pretty close together. Maybe they should give each other some... space.
    * Silence, followed by a hard slap.*
  • No OSHA Compliance: Referenced in Contra. pipes! even suggests that there should be an "Anti-OSHA".
    pipes! "This house or building needs to have more death traps." Y'know, at least three pendulums minimum, instead of spreading woodchips on playgrounds...
  • No Pronunciation Guide/Wingdinglish: According to the Majora's Mask LP, pipes!'s screenname has also been spelt with literal pipes (|||)
  • Only Sane Man: Maxwell, barely.
    • Some would vouch for Evek.
  • Overly-Long Gag: Let's Play Seaman Again - Day 14 Part 1 encourages would-be viewers with the caption "I know this great joke about sea creatures let me tell you". Those poor viewers had no idea what they were getting themselves into.
  • Parrot Exposition: In the Majora's Mask LP, the Astronauts have taken to repeating the Rainbow Speak in the game. In unison.
  • Perfectly Cromulent Word: Many compound swears by pipes!, especially in New Super Mario Bros. Wii. He even says "it's a perfectly cromulent term" early on in that LP.
    pipes!: "I died for your sins, you titshitting, fucknutting cuntwaffle!"
  • Planet of Hats: Another Running Gag in the Mass Effect LP is referring to various characters as Space ____. Ashley is Space Racist, the asari are Space Whores, the quarians are Space Gypsies...
    • Shepard is a Space American, after disconnecting the Council's signal.
  • Pre Ass Kicking One Liner: During the second part of the final battle at the end of Master Quest.
    Maxwell: Get up, I'm not done hurting you.
  • Pungeon Master: Ferr
  • The Quiet One: Evek doesn't say a whole lot. A running gag of sorts in their fans is that he's planning to murder the rest of the Astronauts and take over the stream.
    • When asked this question directly by the stream during the Bomberman LP, he deadpanned "Probably".
    • And when asked a later question on if he would kill either Ferr or Maxwell, he deadpanned "Probably both".
      • Possibly "definitely" during his slow rage buildup in New Super Mario Bros. Wii, caused by being a deadly combination of a) the only one actually trying to play properly rather than screw everyone else over and b) the second-worst player behind Ferr.
  • Quip to Black:
    pipes!: Looks like he died of a case of a broken heart.
    Everyone: YEEEEEAAAAHHH!
  • Real Life Writes the Plot: Because of job opportunities, the Astronauts have had to move away from one another, leaving Maxwell and Evek the only two left. They do come back for holidays though, which is when they record full LPs.
  • Refuge in Audacity: A lot of their humor disgusts even themselves.
  • Running Gag: Several recurring references and Shout Outs, including "Too close for X. Switching to Y" and "It was a rock...LOBSTER!" (from The B-52s)
    • "Erotic." "What did you say?" "EROTIC!"
    • The Astronauts absolutely hate anyone and everyone in the chat for their Ustream channel and will make numerous uncompromising jabs at them.
      • You can and will be banned for anything.
    • "X up, stupid!
    • "That's what she said!"
    • Whenever a strange-looking character appears in a videogame, they all give a resounding cry of "HEYYYY YOUUUU GUUUUYS!"
    • Maxwell's relative lack of movie knowledge is mocked considerably by the others.
    Maxwell: I think I'll run through this wall now.
    Diabetus: Link can... he can fade through solid matter. Just like that guy from Heroes.
    Maxwell: Hmm. I miss out on so many references, 'cause, I don't even have cable TV right now, and I, like, haven't even seen a lot of movies...
    Diabetus: Dude, are you Amish!?
    • In the Majora's Mask LP: "Asswings!", any time Link teleports with the Song of Soaring.
    • the different uses of the jack lalanne power juicer.
    pipes!: Did you know that if you put a sheep in the jack lalanne power juicer you will not only get a glass of delicious sheep flavored juice but also a sweater.
  • Sanity Slippage Song: After a game of Lemmings starts badly, Ferr begins to crack and sings "There's A Hole In My Bucket" as he mercilessly slaughters any Lemmings he can find.
  • Screams Like a Little Girl: All of them did this in the game hack of New Super Mario Bros. Wii. It involved the surprise appearance of a giant Bullet Bill that took up 75% of the screen.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: Upon getting a tiny mushroom in one of the New Super Mario Bros Wii episodes, Maxwell immediately bolts off, leaving the other three to die.
    • Almost done by Ferr at the end of Chapter 6-7 of Majora's Mask. After an hour of trudging through two Spider Houses, the group is understandably sick of scavenging for Gold Skulltulas. So when Maxwell skips forward to the second day and reveals that the prize changed from a wallet upgrade to 50 rupees, Ferr throws off his headset and proceeds to storm out of the room. He realizes Max made a state save on the first day, though, so he comes back.
  • Seinfeldian Conversation: Often occurs during quieter moments of gameplay.
  • Shout-Out: Jokes about mythology and other nerdy topics abound.
    • The astronauts seem to love getting references to REO Speedwagon (the name, at least) into everything.
  • Shovel Strike: In the Postal 2 LP of course, with Ferr naturally bringing up a few puns for such.
    Ferr: I really dig your wife! *shovel strike to the head*
  • Solve the Soup Cans: Mocked exactly 8 minutes into Chapter 8-1 of Majora's Mask.
  • Soundtrack Dissonance: Meat Loaf's "I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)" being played over the moon crashing into Termina in Majora's Mask.
    • Also in Majora's Mask, Michael Jackson's "Thriller" being played over the horrifying alien invasion at Romani Ranch. The worst thing is, the aliens appear to be dancing in time with the music.
    • There's also the orchestrated version of the Mikuru-Chan theme played over the first boss battles in Prototype.
    • Ska music was played over their Bomberman battle mode matches. Though a few of the songs (including a remix of the tetris theme) actually blended quite well with the game.
  • Spider-Sense: "Why do I have the feeling that this room's gonna be a nightmare?"
  • Squee: pipes!'s reaction to the Twilight Princess LP when Link did indeed bomb some dodongos.
    • Also in the Twilight Princess LP, Maxwell lets out one of these when Link gets to pick up a puppy.
    • And in Seaman, all four guys let loose a "squeal of parenthood" when one of the little abominations says his first word.
  • Super OCD: Maxwell's constant inventory rearranging during Resident Evil 4.
  • Suspicious Video Game Generosity: In the Serious Sam LP:
    Ferr: Hey, there's some powerups out in the middle of the desert. I bet we can get them and they won't be boobytrapped. In fact I'll just have my knife out when I pick these up. (Beat) Oh. See? Nothing happened. (enemies approach) Uh oh...
  • Take a Third Option: For the LP of Mass Effect. "Okay, so there's a lot of debate over which is the better Shepard, the ManShep or the FemShep. Well, what if you just can't choose? What if you just want both?"
  • Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: In New Super Mario Bros. Wii at least, they are occasionally forced to actually help each other survive. They usually fail spectacularly.
  • Tempting Fate: In New Super Mario Bros. Wii, any time pipes! says Luigi is doing well expect something bad to happen to him within a few seconds.
  • Tetris Effect: Ferr mentions when he sees an abandoned mattress in Half-Life 2 that his first instinct was to sleep on it to regain health.
  • That One Level: Referenced In-Universe as Maxwell Adams puts so dryly—
    Oh. A temple. ...Everyone who's played Zelda games loves water temples.
    • pipes! during the Tetris Smackdown: "NOOOO! THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANTED!"
  • That's What She Said: Triumphantly yelled by all four of them when a female Gerudo in Master Quest asks Link to 'do her a favour by going through a little hole'.
  • The Dev Team Thinks of Everything: Except for tanks in very odd places, among other things Maxwell has done with the games.
    Maxwell: Every time I see [Signs that a game crashed because of him] I'm just thinking I've won.
  • Theme Mobile: Maxwell named his helicopter in the GTA playthrough the "Tommycopter". You can probably figure out what theme the other Astronauts burst into at that point.
  • There Is No Kill Like Overkill: The poor Secret Service agent in JFK Reloaded - after being put down with a bullet to the ankles, he's then shot multiple times.
  • Too Soon: During the Prototype LP, while battling a boss with a super attack...
    Maxwell: Oh hey, it's shooting the shockwave of death! Get the hell out because it's got a one-hit-kill.
    Russ: Those are always fun.
    Ainsley Mctree: It's like 9/11, but worse...
    (Laughter and groaning)
    Russ: TOO SOON!
    Ainsley Mctree: I feel bad now. I should go.
  • Too Dumb to Live: Maxwell turned Leon Kennedy into this during their LP of Resident Evil 4. He constantly refused to heal until Leon was nearly dead, generally resulting in Leon dying a few hundred times (and when his inventory was full of healing items, to boot.)
  • Trash Talk: Pretty much the only reason you would ever watch the Tetris Smackdown video is purely because of Pipes! magnificent bullet train of trash talk.
  • Turns Red: In Contra...
    pipes!: I like as you shoot him you make him more flamboyant.
  • Urban Legend: The others speculate that Maxwell has become one amongst the enemies in Crysis — an invisible monster that comes in the night and hurls Koreans about.
  • Valley Girl: The Astronauts think one came up with the name for the Zelda enemy Like-Like.
  • Very Special Episode: 1:50 to 2:45 of F-Zero GX Episode 4. Of course, Ferr and pipes! ruin the Very Special Moment and hilariously lampshade the trope.
  • Viewer Gender Confusion: In-universe example with Abominashep, where even the game can't figure out what gender it is.
  • Walking Disaster Area: Maxwell Adams and Blueswearshoes in Online Co-Op on Saints Row 2. No matter where they go, no matter what happens, chaos and destruction follow them. Even walking into a strip club results in them getting mobbed by a gaggle of pimps. Also an attempt at shopping in a store lead to a game of toss the civilian and an ambush by cops.
    • Ferr cannot be trusted around any kind of beverage, as a) he'll end up with the beverage on him in some fashion, b) he'll hurt himself with the can or bottle it's in, or c) both.
      • Ferr: I just gave myself a Gatorade money shot.
  • We Are Struggling Together: Their Serious Sam Let's Play. They seemed to spend equal time fighting enemies and shooting each other to bits, especially when Maxwell let them find the Chain Gun early.
    Ferr: NO CHAINGUN FOR YOU!
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: Doomisland, a fairly regular commentator to the Majora's Mask LP, has not been in any other videos since, and besides from one off-comment joke about it by Maxwell in a later LP, has not been talked about.
    • Referenced on the website's "About" page:
    doomisland came to play Majora's Mask with us, and then disappeared in a puff of smoke. We miss him.
  • "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue: on the Facebook page, by pipes!:
    pipes!: I do a lot of dumb, trivial internet shit and still hang out on SA a lot. Ferr got into improv comedy and makes a lot of people laugh in real life. Evek works for a school district and is perfectly happy to dink around with computers for kids, and Maxwell is in the process of playing through every game in the Steam library.
  • Why Don't They Just Shoot Him With The Cannons?: Ferr asks this about the airships in New Super Mario Bros. Wii.
    Evek: Decorative only.
  • With Lyrics: They chant "YOU GOT A THING!" to the tune of the Zelda Item Get music.
  • World of Chaos: Their use of console commands to grow and shrink various characters (among other things) turned their Oblivion playthrough into this trope.
  • Worth It: In the NSMBW Let's Play, pipes! gets on a Yoshi and repeatedly attempts to swallow Maxwell and spit him into a pit. Maxwell escapes by wall-jumping to safety. Eventually pipes! just swallows him, jumps into the pit, killing him and losing the Yoshi. Cue pipes! yelling out "Ha-HA! Worth It!"
  • You All Look Familiar: While lost in Majora's Mask, Maxwell thinks that all Zoras note  look the same. Ferr calls him out on this.
  • Your Secret's Safe With Me, Superman: In the New Super Mario Bros. Wii playthrough, "I'm the William Riker to your Patrick Stewart."
    • They spent a good deal of the Seaman LP calling him "Spock".

YHEAAAAY!
Fiyah KittehLet's PlayGACKT Game Center
Let's PlayTurnOfTheMillennium/New MediaRaocow

alternative title(s): Freelance Astronauts
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