You can find a video on YouTube of an old beeper commercial where Emmanuel Yarbrough (the largest athlete in the world) goes against another sumo wrestler. The smaller wrestler drops down and crawls between his legs. The bigger wrestler sits down. We are treated to a few slurping sounds as well as the smaller wrestler disappearing. Seeing the other wrestler gone, he shrugs and walks away, and we see the smaller wrestler shoulder deep in his ass. The video can be found here.
Kakashi has his infamous scene with an unorthodox jutsu called Sennen Goroshi ("One Thousand Years of Death"), where he shoved his fingers up Naruto's ass-crack, and sent him flying. This is based on a real life prank called Kancho. Naruto nearly gets revenge on Kakashi for this during Shippuden's third episode.
And Naruto used it himself against Gaara. With a kunai. One of the summoned toads thinks it's absurd that Naruto wasted his time giving the giant sand monster "an enema"... and then the kunai explodes. Ouch.
The "attack" used by Gimmy of Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann in the very NSFW fifth Parallels Works video. Which is based on a scene in the Hot Springs Episode that didn't air on television, where Kamina and Simon try to see the girls on the other side of the wall and Gimmy is confused by their order to "find a hole".
A Running Gag in is Chizuru's attempts to test out a folk remedy for fevers, which involves shoving a spring onion up the sick person's ass (as if having a fever wasn't bad enough already). Kotaro and Natsumi are understandably terrified of her. Doubles as a Stealth Pun since a spring onion in Japanese is "Negi".
It's no longer just a gag: Chizuru does it for real with her artifact (yes, a leek) in Chapter 348! And to poor Negi himself!
In Pokémon, Croagunk has taken up Misty and Max's role as the one to take away Brock from girls, by using Poison Jab, paralyzing him. It's almost always depicted as Brock being stabbed in the ass. It's still better than the alternative, where Croagunk cockblocks him.
Gintama loves this, with Hattori and Kondo being the most frequent victims of it. They aren't always so fortunate as to be wearing pants or underwear when it happens, either.
Kondo willingly subjects himself to it on one occasion when Otae suggests the aforementioned "Spring onion up the butt" remedy for his influenza. Having him do it outside while naked (In the dead of winter), standing on one leg and posing with two other onions was something she added in just because she knows how willing he is humiliate himself at her demand.
Doman gets subjected to this from Gintoki, who hits him with a kancho multiple times while Gedomaru bends him over, and was also given the same treatment from Seimei in the past (Which is a joke on the fact that his family name of Shirino literally means "butt").
Gintoki spends the majority of the Excalibur arc with Kusanagi using his butt as a makeshift scabbard, since he feels insecure without one. Unfortunately for Gintoki, the sword is able to resist being removed by force, even when Kagura attempts to do so with a truck and a length of rope.
YuYu Hakusho: Yusuke performs a kancho on Kuwabara before the Chapter Black Arc.
One time, Keroro Gunsou is forced to study overnight, and assorted devices are used to keep him awake. One splashes water into his face. Another drops a tin bath on his head. A third one involves a massive Kancho prop made of plastic and mounted under his chair... with a pretty powerful spring.
One episode of Dragon Ball has Ninja Murasaki jump into the air and Goku positions his magic pole so Murasaki's ass would land right on it.
Goku: Ahahahahahaha! Now you have a tail, too! Just like I do!
To make it even more painful, he accidentally jerks it around when he hits against a tree and Goku yanks it right out when he wants it back.
Non-comic example: It's said explicitly that Munakata of Medaka Box probably has around thirty-something or more swords shoved in there. Yowza.
Another not-comedic example in Sakura Gari: one of Katsuragi's torture methods against Masataka included him forcibly shoving a household object up the guy's anus right after having raped him.
In a Mai-HiME sound drama between Episodes 9 and 10, when Natsuki gets sick and her fever rises despite efforts to reduce it, the group turns to the folk cure mentioned in the Negima! example, much to Natsuki's horror and Shizuru's pleasure.
In Mai-Otome, the same trick is used when Aoi becomes ill, although Arika initially hangs the leek around her neck. Shizuru, when she comes in, proposes the Ass Shove method.
In the Ginga Densetsu Weed manga, a running gag has Sasuke shoving either a long pole or his paws into GB's butt during comic relief moments.
Gyo plays this trope straight in the least comedic and most horrifying way possible.
A Cruel God Reigns plays the trope straight in a horrifying way when Greg uses the wooden Easter egg Valentine gave Jeremy on Jeremy before raping him.
It gets arguably funnier when you realize that Reiner himself is a Titan.
Another soldier, trying to get a Titan's attention, threatens this (the Titan's expression when it turns on him would almost suggest that it even understood).
In Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt, Brief accidentally swallows Panty and Stocking while they were shrunken. After a while, the two are near the end of his digestive tract, but get stuck. Garterbelt straps Brief down and shoves his hand up Brief's butt to retrieve them, despite Brief's horror and protests. Afterwards, Brief is incredibly miserable and sore.
In Gamaran, there's Kashitarou, a genius teen studying both anatomy and martial arts, who also happens to be a pervert with the recurring fantasy of sticking apples or tangerines up women's asses. He offered to do this twice to the same girl, and both times he got beaten for his trouble.
It was briefly mentioned in that at a time Yokoshima was a student in the Ousai Academy, the aforementioned kancho was a common prank.
What was in Aria's mind when the topic of "temperature tolerance" included, among others, a large enema syringe, implying she would do this... should Shino didn't clarify what was in the latter's mind.
Kill la Kill has Sanageyama finishing off Takarada by shoving his bamboo sword up his opponent's ass violently and repeatedly.
In an early chapter of Moyashimon, Tadayasu discovers one of the downsides of going to an agricultural school when he gets volunteered to give a cow a rectal examination. He just stands there with a horrified look on his face, one (thankfully gloved) arm up to the elbow in a cow's butt.
It is implied that this is where Max of Sam & Max: Freelance Police keeps his gun, though it's still none of your damn business. Though maybe later, when everyone's sitting down, he'll tell us.
In an issue of the older Batman comics, Robin's tackling of a bad guy from behind places his face too close to said bad guy's posterior to be comfortable.
In The Sandman, Loki tells the Puck about a prank he once played on the "not very bright" Thor. Disguised as a doctor, he convinces Thor that he's pregnant and tells him to lie face down and wait for him to deliver the baby. Loki then feeds him a gallon of castor oil and sticks a cork up his butt, then goes off to sleep with Thor's wife. Eight days later, Thor is still lying there waiting when Ratatosk, the squirrel of the World Tree, comes by and, curious, pulls the cork out, releasing eight days' worth of backed-up feces. Thor picks up the stunned Ratatosk, embraces him, and says "You're ugly, you're hairy, and you're covered in shit. But you're mine, and I love you!"
A short but full-color Judge Dredd story introduces The Great Arsoli, whose act involves pulling ever larger things from his nether regions. The last is his lovely, smiling assistant. Dredd arrests him for not declaring those items through customs.
A rather nasty Ass Shove occurs in Preacher (and given the general nature of the series, that's really saying something) when Jesse is attacked by a psychotic goth punk with a sword. Though the actual act occurs off-panel, the next page shows the sword tip poking out of the man's stomach and the hilt protruding from the seat of his pants. Ouch.
Something similar occurs in Sin City - The Big Fat Kill. Miho apparently shoves her katana up a merc's ass. We see the hilt behind him and the tip protruding from his face. Considering the angle, that's exactly what happened. In the same story, Jackie-Boy slips and falls on Miho's swastika shuriken and it gets stuck in his backside.
Jackie-Boy: DON'T NOBODY LAUGH! THIS ISN'T FUNNY!
Thankfully averted in Warlock and the Infinity Watch. Most of the Watch keep their Infinity Gems on their foreheads, but Drax swallows hisnote and it stays inside; Warlock says Drax's physiology is unlike most people's and when Pip is asked where his is, he is seen walking away from the camera with the focus suspiciously close to his backside. A later issue reveals that he somehow stored it between his toes.
A rather serious example is implied in a two-part story in Spider-Man's Tangled Web featuring Tombstone as a Villain Protagonist. While in prison, he recruits small-time super-villains Hyno Hustler, Rocket Racer, and Big Ben to work for him, and in an early part of one issue asks what they've managed to "hold onto". Racer says he has some vaseline, and Tombstone says that "might be useful". Later, after Tombstone is beaten up by a corrupt corrections officer working for the Kangaroo, he manages to smuggle a knife into his cell. When Racer asks where he got it, Tombstone says, "Hid it. Told you the vaseline would be useful." (A career criminal like Tombstone would probably be good at a trick like this, which Real Life convicts can and do manage on occasion.)
One Dilbert comic strip has Dilbert opening a software package, and by doing so agrees to a full-body cavity search at any time. Enter a woman with the Glove Snap.
In one Ogri strip, Mitzi responds to a loutish driver's proposition by shoving his head up his own arse.
This trope is exploited by Ranma in the fanfic Smartarse ˝. Ranma beats up Kunō for the first time, then writes "At least it can't possibly get any worse" on his forehead. When Kunō reads the phrase out loud, a Battleaxe Nurse walks in while putting on a rubber glove and orders Kunō to bend over. Much screaming occurs.
In Chapter 114 of Odd Ideas by Rorschach's Blot, "Tales from the Hogwarts Hospital Wing", most of the maladies Madame Pomfrey treats are the result of something sexual. Draco keeps "falling" on long, vaguely cylindrical objects, or in one instance, twenty golf balls, that go up his rectum and become lodged in his colon. In another of his works drunk!Shinji does this to EVA 03.
For a while in Dr. Jackson's Diary, there's an on-base betting pool over who makes the pleasured moans during rectal exams. It's Major Davis.
Variation in Hivefled; Dualscar ends up dying with a gun up his nook.
Films — Animation
Done in the epilogue of Toy Story 3, when Mr. Potato Head discovers the Peas-In-A-Pod popping out of his rear hatch.
Mr. Potato Head: I told you kids, stay out of my butt!
Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted had a kid shooting spitballs at an elephant trying to balance on a ball. Unfortunately, the elephant overbalances, and rolls towards the offending kid. No prizes for guessing what happens next.
Hancock: If you don't move, your head is going up his ass. Y'all fellas sure you wanna ride this train? Matrix:(mocking) Choo, choo, asshole... (Hancock shoves Matrix's head up Man Mountain's ass, with accompanying bystander squick)
Not just that — at the start of the movie, he makes a similar threat against a whole car full of Vietnamese gang members, ending in this gem:
Hancock: And you drew the short stick, 'cause your head's going up my ass.
Austin and Felicity Shagwell are in a tent unpacking gear to infiltrate Dr. Evil's island base. Their silhouettes look like Felicity is pulling various stuff — including twelve feet of rope and an umbrella — out of Austin's posterior... to the astonishment of Evil's mooks watching outside.
Also Felicity is ordered to plant a homing device on Fat Bastardby any means necessary. She complies by having sex with Fat Bastard, and then planting the device by shoving it — you know where — thinking that he's so fat he won't notice. Unfortunately, he does... and assumes it's some type of kinky foreplay, causing him to develop a "crush" on her (what follows is the most disgusting scene ever to hit the big screen, when Austin performs a one-man version of "Two Girls One Cup").
In The Mask, Stanley Ipkiss uses the mask's powers to get back at his shady car mechanics by shoving exhaust pipes up their asses. It makes more sense if you remember to call them "tailpipes".
Bruce Almighty. The title character uses god-powers to exact ironic revenge on some guys who taunted and attacked him earlier in the film. Really the wrong time to say that the chances of something happening were as low as the chance of a monkey climbing out of your ass. Worse, when he's done with the monkey, he has it go back where it came from. So: a Butt Monkey produces a butt monkey.
Fletch: You know, my kidneys feel a lot better in this position? Maybe it's because I'm not doing any calisthenics. You know, if I did some sit-ups in the morning... bent over like this, I feel 100% better (squish!)... Moooooooooooon riveeeeeeeeeeeer! Thank you, Doc.
One of the "stunts" in the first movie involved Ryan Dunn inserting a toy Hot Wheels car into his rectum. The crew then filmed the reactions of the doctor when Ryan explained how he had supposedly passed out at a Frat Party and woken up that way.
In the second movie, Bam Magera gets a golden dildo launched into his anus by one of those carnival "test-your-strength" games. And from the same movie, the Butt Chug.
Another one in Jackass 2.5 involved tying a kite to anal beads in his ass.
Creasy: Do you know what this is? It's a charger used by convicts to hide money and drugs. They tuck it up their rectum. This is pencil detonator, timer, used as a receiver from the pager. This is C4, highly explosive; you put it all together you've got a bomb, not very sophisticated, but very powerful. (whispers) That's what you have in your ass right now. Don't move! Don't move!
The first movie features a scene where Lieutenant Harris suffers a motorcycle mishap and lands headfirst up a horse's ass.
Also, the second movie has Mahoney somehow getting Lieutenant Mauser subjected to a body cavity search (complete with Glove Snap by the nurse who does it).
Little Nicky has a Running Gag about Hitler getting a pineapple shoved up his ass every day in Hell. Later, he gets a demonic flask, which contains demons Adrian and Cassius, emptied up the ass.
Hitler: Holy schnit!
Jim Levenstein gets a trumpet shoved up his butt in American Pie 2. Michelle, who in the first film tells him she shoved a flute up her pussy, does it to him, being all kinky and everything.
Non-comedy example: In Crank High Voltage, Chev Chelios escapes from a makeshift hospital (where his organs were to be harvested) with a gunfight that ends with him shoving a pump-action shotgun up his opponent's ass.
The Running Man. Amber Mendez steals the raw footage of the Bakersfield Massacre and tucks it away, but is captured. Later she produces the tape.
Ben Richards: Where did you hide that? Amber: It's none of your business.
In one of the Eddie Murphy's Dr. Dolittle films, a dog's anus swallows a thermometer during a veterinarian's examination. It has to be "retrieved manually".
In the film Papillon, the title character describes prisoners as "The only animals that shove things up their ass for survival." Usually money, although Dustin Hoffman's character kept a spare pair of glasses down there.
The woman vigilante of Run! Bitch Run! plays it to the extreme, and very unexpectedly, with her rapist. This particular ass shove involves a machete and a lot of reciprocal motion.
Jennifer from the remake of the film I Spit on Your Grave does something similar with one of her rapists, a corrupt sheriff (who anally raped her), though the weapon in this case is a shotgun. Which she then gets one of the other rapists to fire while it's still in him.
In the biopic Before Night Falls, imprisoned Cuban writer Reinaldo Arenas smuggles his novel out piece by piece with the help of drag queen Bon Bon (Johnny Depp plays the 'retrieval' scene with amazing aplomb).
Carry On Henry. The Queen has been thrown into the Tower of London, and asks a sympathetic priest to smuggle a letter out. The priest says he is searched thoroughly by the guards, but there is one place they don't look — he has second thoughts when the Queen produces an enormous scroll.
Machete. The title character rescues a naked woman, but it turns out to be a trap by the Big Bad. After taking down Machete, she reaches down so her hand is off camera and produces a mobile phone with a squelching sound. Or she took it out of her vagina.
Shows up in RoboGeisha with the cybernetic AssSword, which is exactly what it sounds like. Considering the restof the film, it's surprising when the girls point out that using a sword protruding from your ass is not only embarrassing, but also really awkward to use. It doesn't stop them from having a sword fight around a conveniently placed stripper pole.
One of the rapists in Gutterballs is sodomized with a sharpened bowling pin.
The Jackhammer Massacre. Is any further elaboration really necessary?
Described in Beerfest. Barry explains that he once beat a bunch of Thais at a game of ping-pong, and they didn't appreciate losing and shoved a ping-pong paddle... you know where. When one of his friends says that having a ping-pong paddle handle shoved up one's poopchute wouldn't be that awful, Barry elaborates that it wasn't the handle. He's been "shitting pancakes ever since". The protagonists' great-grandmother then replies that she's had plenty of things shoved up her butt. Then again, she used to be a German prostitute.
Also worth mentioning that during their final matches against the Germans, Todd was partnered with Barry in the pong match. Seriously drunk, he proposed another challenge: the losers of this match has to take their paddles up their asses. Barry & Todd ultimately won, with the Germans they played against proceeding to shove their paddles up their ass. Cue their reaction faces expressing some form of Just for Pun/butthurt.
The baseball-themed slasher film The Catcher has a man be duct taped to a table, and have a baseball bat shoved up his rear. The fact that it was bat that went up there isn't revealed until a little bit later, so it initially looks like the victim was just plain raped.
The Empty Beach (1985). Australian private eye Cliff Hardy is given a Tracking Device by police and told to turn it on when the villains have made contact. To forestall the Obligatory Joke on where to hide it, the detective adds, "If you stick it up your ass, you won't be able to flick the switch!" It's left deliberately vague if Hardy really did hide the transmitter this way.
In the Belgian movie Man Bites Dog, the protagonist's flautist girlfriend suffers one of these offscreen with her own flute. With, unfortunately, fatal consequences.
There's a joke about three explorers who were captured by a native tribe. The natives say that the explorers may survive if they collect and bring back ten pieces of a fruit of their choosing. The first explorer returns with ten berries, and is told he'll go free if he gets all ten inside his anus. He succeeds and is released. The second explorer returns with ten apples and is told the same. He suddenly bursts out laughing; when the natives ask what's so funny, he tells them that the third explorer was collecting pineapples.
A variation has the third man arrive, have the task explained to him, and choose death after some consideration. The natives then proceed to execute him in the traditional way, by inserting a fatal number of pineapples into his anus.
Yet another variation has the natives telling them that they will kill them if they make any facial expression whatsoever during the 'challenge', and the one telling the joke is encouraged to announce the number out loud. The first explorer, having something large-ish (like apples), is killed after a few (3-4) for grimacing. The second explorer, having picked something small (berries or grapes), allows the one telling the joke to count up to 7 or 8, then the explorer inexplicably bursts out laughing and gets killed as a result. The two explorers meet in Heaven, and the first one is distressed, asking the second what had happened since he was doing so well... the second explorer, still laughing, says "I just saw the third guy, and he's got PINEAPPLES!".
There's a Christmas joke that an angel approaches Santa Claus while he's in a bad mood and asks "Where should I put the Christmas Tree?" As you might have guessed, Santa's reply was something along the lines of "Stick it up your ass!" ...and that's why the angel goes on top of the Christmas tree every year.
One version has him asking for it by saying "Oi, fatty! Where should I stick this?"
This joke from a WWII vet regarding rectal exams: "Well, first he put his right hand on my shoulder. No, wait, he put his left hand on my shoulder. Wait a minute, he put both his hands on my shoulders." Oh, yeah, the days when man rape was supposed to be funny.
A doctor is making his rounds through the hospital when he stops to talk to the head nurse. The nurse says , "By the way, doctor, did you know you've got your thermometer stuck behind your ear?" The doctor feels around his ear and says, "Great, some asshole has my pen."
A farmer looked out his window and saw that one of his cows was near the road and having difficulty giving birth, so he went out and took a hold of the calf's legs and started tugging. Before long a luxury car stopped and a man got out asking if he could help. The Farmer said it would be appreciated. The man took off his Rolex and rolled up his sleeves, and after both men did some tugging the calf came out just fine and healthy. The farmer thanked the stranger, who said "I just have one question... how fast was the little cow going when it hit the big cow?"
A doctor was surprised when he examined his elderly patient. "Sir... do you know you've got a suppository in your ear?" The old man promptly takes out his cell phone and calls his wife. "Martha, you can stop looking for my hearing aid. I think I know where I put it."
A hillbilly goes to the doctor for the first time in decades. The doctor prescribes him some suppositories, which he doesn't know how to use but isn't about to admit to some city slicker. A week later, he comes back aboslutely furious. "Dammit doc, I took one suppository a day for week with a glass of water, and the damn things don't work! Lemme tell you, I could've shoved'em up my ass and it'd have had more effect!"
In Feet of Clay, after the golem Dorfl is freed, he visits his previous masters and exacts (non-lethal) ironic revenge on them. As Vimes, Carrot, and Angua chase him, they hear about... incidents... at the poultry merchant's and the pork butcher's.
"Er... I think I've got an ointment that might be—" "Will it help with the apple?" the man demanded. "It shoved an apple in his mouth?" "Wrong!"
In Soul Music, this happens to musicians who don't pay the dues to get into the Musician's Guild. Nobby Nobbs mentions that it's not fun unless you're a piccolo player.
Vimes threatened a comparable punishment for any assassin caught carrying a spring-gonne within Anhk-Morpork city limits. "Rest assured, I can find a short cut." This line makes more sense when you know that people have previously referred to a little place near Lancre where the sun doesn't shine (which, if you know your Disc geography, means the village of Bad Ass).
Self-inflicted by a drop bear in The Last Continent, when it unwisely dropped butt-first onto an unsuspecting victim who happened to be Rincewind. Turns out that pointy WIZZARD hat was good for something after all...
Edward Whittemore's Quin's Shanghai Circus is full of this.
In the Brazilian novel O Homem Que Matou Getúlio Vargas (released in English as Twelve Fingers), Henry Maturin of Papillon had a way to leave prison with important stuff such as money: fill up a bamboo with it and shove it up there. The protagonist gets afraid of doing this to himself, so Maturin decides to "carry it" for him ("where one fits, two can!").
Little Boy Blue is offed in Robert Rankin's Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse by his shepherd's crook being shoved up his arse and all the way out his mouth. That's gotta hurt.
In one essay in Stick to Drawing Comics, Monkey Brain!, Scott Adams discusses the acceptable level of ass in a comic strip. One unpublished Dilbert strip included in the article shows a manager getting "face time" with the VP as part of an appointment with him, which consisted of having his head half-buried in the VP's rear.
In part of Greg Stillson's backstory in Stephen King's novel The Dead Zone, some people who anger him end up with objects inserted in their rectum. To be fair to the character, said people were mooks send to give him a hard time. In a 3 to 1 fight. Armed with brass knuckles. Guess what it is that ends up there.
In The Shawshank Redemption, this is apparently how Andy smuggled several hundred dollars into jail. And how Red gets his manuscript out... Willing suspension of disbelief (or perhaps Fridge Horror) applies, because the manuscript is better than 100 handwritten pages. Ahem.
In Bearing an Hourglass, Norton is forced to reverse the course of time for the entire world. While most people don't notice, anyone close to Norton becomes aware that they're doing everything backwards... including one unfortunate man who'd just used the toilet. Despite his struggles to stop himself, the man backs into the bathroom and shuts the door, through which sounds of horror are heard. And the rather confused-looking dog that was behind a nearby bush as well.
Inverted in Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, when Dirk demonstrates his facility with stage magic by (apparently) drawing a string of colored handkerchiefs from the posterior of a small dog. And, from Richard's, a slim bunch of anemones. Which he presents to the dog's owner, a little old lady who just watched Richard take off all his clothes and jump into a canal. It makes sense... sort of... in context.
In the Deathstalker series a woman was forced to approach a man who would decide her fate completely in the nude. She had decided to break clean but she couldn't carry any regular concealed weapon... but a deactivated monofilament blade's handle was relatively easy to hide in the one place the guards wouldn't look.
In Tom Clancy's Without Remorse, two prisoners hide iron shanks up their arses in order to kill two other prisoners in the shower. "A determined man always has one place he can hide something."
Sharpe does this with a picklock, which he then uses to bust out of jail. He actually does it "onscreen" too (though not explicitly), making this "Chekhov's Buttscratch".
In A Deeper Blue, the central receiver for the bugs Katya plants on Juan Gonzales' boat is hidden in her rectum prior to being installed.
In the third Provost's Dog book, Farmer Cope hides emergency magical supplies in his rectum. This practice allows him and Beka Cooper to escape from the villains and rescue the kidnapped prince.
In the tenth Captain Underpants book, Tippy Tinkletrousers' Robo-Trousers are equipped with a thermonuclear bomb, which are activated by having a robotic tentacle pull it out through the nether regions. It Makes Sense in Context... sorta.
"Mercury in Uranus": The one about the hospital patient (who has been in the hospital numerous times for sticking objects up his rectum — a common sight in most hospitals) who killed himself when he shoved nine glass thermometers up his butt — all of which broke, gave him mercury poisoning, and cut up his large intestine.
"Butt Plugged": Also, the recently released convict who, when confronted by an officer, shoves a can of his illegal pepper spray up his ass to keep from violating parole. The cop pushes him against the side of his truck...and bam! Pepper spray in the colon.
"Eel Effects": The sushi school students who shove an eel up their drunk teacher's butt as payback for the abuse they struggled through during his lessons. More exactly, they pranked the drunk teacher via putting the eel in his pants; then the eel got into the guy's butt and began to bite its way in...
"Mary Lou Rectum": A washed-up gymnast dismounted off a trampoline... and got a parallel bar support jammed between her vagina and rectum.
"Fire In The Hole": A Neo-Nazi uses his dim-witted brother, who shoved a hand grenade up his butthole before getting arrested, in a jailbreak plot. The brother tries to poop it out, but it doesn't move. The Neo-Nazi tries to retrieve it by using a gloved hand up his rectum. He only succeeds in retrieving the pin and not only kills his brother, but also dies in the explosion.
"Colon-Gross-Oppy": A tomboyish college student competes with her male roommates in gross-out contests. She tries to one-up them in a farting contest by sticking a can of whipped cream in her bum to produce gas. Unfortunately, she dies from massive hemorrhaging since the gas in the can causes internal necrosis and hemorraghing.
"Hi-Jacked Off": A drug addict who carjacks drivers makes the brilliant decision to hijack a former boxer. The woman decks the carjacker in his face and his anus gets stuck on a tire nozzle, which inflates his intestines and blows his guts out.
"Ten-Ass, Anyone?": Two McEnroe wannabes play a game of tennis. One of them, who sucks at tennis and has a bad temper, tries to kill the umpire with a broken tennis racket, only to fall over and get that racket shoved up his bum and through his perineum.
"Water-Logged": In a really weird example, a college student jumps from a cliff into a lake and hits the water at an angle and speed that causes water to rush into his rectum, rupturing his large intestine. He then passes out from massive internal bleeding and pain and drowns.
In a season 3 episode of Babylon 5, Sheridan has to remove his communicator before going into a room to negotiate it with a terrorist. He initially tries to hide it inside his shirt, so Garibaldi can listen in for clues, but Garibaldi points out (correctly, as it turns out), that the terrorist would think to look there. The solution they come up works a bit better, albeit with the drawback that they can hear what Sheridan had for lunch.
And his touch-activated comlink beeps when he sits down, tipping off the terrorist.
In Blackadder the Third, when Prince George describes what the Naughty Hellfire Club does to people who don't pay their dues:
Prince George: They pull your breeches down and push a large radish right up your— Blackadder: —yes! Yes! Yes! All right!... There's no need to hammer it home. Prince George: As a matter of fact they do often have to—
Quite often happens in Bottom, both in the TV show and the theatre/movie spin-offs. Items inserted include a pencil, a policeman's baton (complete with side-handle), a stick of dynamite and the entire contents of the next-door flat.
In the first two episodes of Chris Ryan's Strike Back, John Porter takes a moment (before walking into a terrorist trap) to wrap a swiss army knife in cling-wrap and insert it into his ass. After being captured and verifying that the terrorists are holding the woman he's trying to rescue, he removes the knife and uses it to escape his cell.
Mason from Dead Like Me once tried to smuggle drugs in a condom or balloon he stuck up his ass. Then a drug-sniffing dog caught him, and the security people did a cavity search (and didn't find the balloon, but did rip it; intoxication and something very loud and unpleasant in a bathroom stall ensued). Even worse — Mason was an undead Reaper. Meaning he technically overdosed to DEATH but still had to live through the feeling of overdosing to death.
From the Sci Fi Channel movie DeathlandsHomewardBound. The protagonists have been invited to dinner by the local Baron. As he's a mad despot that many would love to kill they're naturally searched by his Sec Men first.
On ER, someone asked Carter what the strangest thing he'd ever removed from someone's rectum was. He thought for a moment and replied, "Bowling trophy."
Everybody Hates Chris: Main character and Butt Monkey Chris is pretending to be a Jerkass in order to impress his crush. That ends when he inadvertently yells at his own mother. There is a dramatic heartbeat during the Discretion Shot, followed by a scene in the hospital where the doctor mentions that, while it could be removed, the shoe was a goner. Insert a truly revealing X-ray for a Crowning Moment of Funny.
Get a Life!: Chris Eliot attempted to befriend a group of toughs despite being warned against it by Brian Doyle-Murray. Chris tries to join the street gang by asking them to play jacks. Cut to Chris painfully returning from the encounter.
Brian: Did they make you eat your jacks? Chris: No. (pause) ...but they're inside me.
A recent episode of Holby City involved a doctor shoving a flower into a patient's arse in revenge for his racism towards her.
A patient has an MP3 player shoved up his rear in the episode "Occam's Razor".
House: Is it the size? The shape? Or just the pounding bass line?
House also won second place in a weekly "weirdest thing pulled out of an orifice" contest with a laser pointer. The winning item rhymed with "fucchini".
What caused the majority of his problems in Season 3 was leaving a rectal thermometer inside Tritter... for two hours. To be honest, you could have stuck a rectal thermometer anywhere on Tritter since he was a complete ass. Worse than it sounds though, because Tritter was bent over when he did it, and if he were to move too much, it would shatter inside him.
In the Den-O arc, the Final Attack Ride for Den-O involves attaching the DenGasher to Yuusuke, who is in the form of the Kuuga Gouram, making an Epic Flail. There was a cut to Yuusuke grabbing his ass in surprise when the connection was made, and then, when Den-O starts swinging him around, he was howling in pain...
The Den-O/Decade movie, which is directly related to the events above, features Momotaros stranded in the past. Several villagers mistake him for the oni they were fighting, and Momo winds up getting an arrow right on the, uh...yeah.
Married... with Children did it too, naturally. Jefferson ends up in the hospital. They look at the X-ray. There up in his lower colon is one of the boots Marcy was wearing in the previous scene.
On MythBusters, one of the tests required a rectal thermometer and Adam Savage. Both he and the paramedic doing it seemed to take it well, with Adam quipping, "Oh Sanjay, will you still respect me tomorrow?"
The Nova episode "Making Stuff Colder", with host David Pogue having to wear a rectal thermometer to test out US Army extreme weather gear. The look on his face when the Army people tell him this is hilarious.
Red Dwarf: In the episode Backwards, the crew accidentally discovers a parallel universe in which time runs backwards, to the effect that the natives speak backwards, walk backwards, wars are happy occasions on which millions of dead people come back to life, pub brawls end up cleaning up the pub ("Unrumble!"), food gets un-eaten, beer goes from your mouth back into the mug and from the mug back into the tab, and so on. Unfortunately, just before the Dwarfers leave, the Cat decides to take a crap in the bushes, and the other can't warn him in time... Cat appears from the bushes with a horrified expression and his hair standing on end and walks stiff-legged into the shuttlecraft, avoiding the others' eyes.
On Sanctuary, Helen Magnus has an uncanny ability to produce a gun at any given moment. When asked where she produces these guns, actress Amanda Tapping suggests that Magnus pulls them from her "gun bum".
The Saturday Night Live recurring sketch "Appalachian Emergency Room" always ended with Tyler who had something "accidentally" stuck up there, and his justifications for it.
The episode "The Fusilli Jerry" has Kramer expounding on the comedy inherent in the proctology profession.
Kramer: Have you ever met a proctologist? Well, they usually have a very good sense of humor. You meet a proctologist at a party, don't walk away. Plant yourself there, because you will hear the funniest stories you've ever heard. See, no one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there. Never! It's always an accident. Every proctologist story ends in the same way: "It was a million to one shot, Doc. Million to one."
Later in that episode, sure enough, Frank Costanza falls onto Kramer's title pasta model, and it gets... lodged up there. Last line of the episode is him saying, "It was a million to one shot, Doc. Million to one."
Still Game has Craiglang's resident war veteran, Shug, describing some of his adventures as a communications officer with the Commandos as he fixes Jack & Victor's answering machine. Actually, a subversion.
Shug: Ye see, ye would think that this (*holds up very small tape) wid be the smallest tape ye could get. Not so! Durin' the war we were issued wi' smaller ones tae take tae the Resistance - when ye were crossing borders ye' had tae secrete them aboot yer person. D'ye ken where I kept mine?
Victor: (*Looking bored and smug) Let me guess Shug, up yer arse?
Shug: Naw Victor. That would be the first place they'd look. I tucked them intae my bell-end.
That '70s Show has a Running Gag where Eric's very grumpy and snarky father Red would threaten to shove his foot up people's asses whenever they pissed him off, but he never went through it during the show's run. In the Grand Finale Hyde calls him out on it, asking him if he's ever actually done that. Red then says that he did do it once back on Iwo Jima, but the details are too gruesome for him to say, which is pretty bad considering that Hyde is the only other guy on the show that Red sees as mature and grown up (not even Bob, the only other grown male on the show).
In Robot Wars, due to Matilda's design incorporating what is effectively a bare bottom, she has become victim to the robotic version of this on a few occasions, especially from Razer's pincer.
Justified in All Creatures Great and Small, since veterinarians sometimes must insert one arm into a cow's rectum to feel for problems with a calf or to guide something they're doing in the uterus.
In one story, James is routinely taking a cow's temperature and the thermometer suddenly disappears inside her, so he has to get soaped up and go digging for it. This is why, before the advent of digital thermometers, one always tied a string to the non-business end of one's thermometer. Those who still use glass thermometers still do this.
In the last episode of the fourth series of Misfits, one of the sins to which Rudy confesses involves inserting a large Mars bar into his arse.
In the Vegas special, Nathan teleported a casino chip up Marnie's vagina and later pulls a rabbit out of his ass using his Reality Warper powers.
In the first episode of the third season of Shameless, Frank wakes up in Mexico without any identification. He puts cocain up his butt and smuggles it across the border in exchange for a fake ID.
"Patient is unruly. Recommend enema, repeat until condition improves."
WWE has twice done skits involving a colonoscopy — both with the same "You have your head up your ass!" punchline and both Gooker winners. And the second came days after a commentator had actually had one!
One of The Rock's (in)famous Catch Phrases. He occasionally adds a few more phrases before shoving in the last three:
"Take [this/that] [noun]... SHIIIIIIIIINE it up reeeeeeal nice... turn that sumbitch sideways, and STICK IT STRAIGHT UP YOUR CANDY ASS!"
Mick Foley pointed out how unrealistic that is in his second book, Foley Is Good...and the Real World is FAKER Than Wrestling.
The infamous "arseplomancer" build for Dungeons & Dragons 3.5: the Exemplar class lets you pick one skill which can be used to impress people, and a high enough Escape Artist skill lets you pass through a space narrower than your head. The result is a character who climbs into a guy's rectum in a manner so awesome that everyone in 60 ft becomes undyingly loyal to him. Then the poor guy explodes.
In The Book of Mormon, Elder Price gets his own copy of the Book of Mormon shoved up his butt by General Butt-Fucking Naked.
Implied at one point in The Elder Scrolls: Battlespire. When asking a Scamp where it hid the key:
Scamp: Keys? Keys in dark, NASTY place. Near my tail. Want look? See?
At one point in Knights of the Old Republic, the player character runs into a prisoner who says he'll give you a hacker's tool if he's freed. You can ask him how he has it — wasn't he searched? — and he tells you that they did, but they didn't search everywhere. The player character can then choose to be either Squicked or pragmatic.
Similarly, in Dragon Age: Origins the player might run into a prisoner who offers a key in exchange for food. If the player asks how he managed to slip the key past his captors' search, he'll answer that he swallowed it and it has... later come back into his possession. The key, upon further examination is... "Strangely warm."
And this bit from the opening of Ratchet: Deadlocked, when Al activates the speech function on Ratchet's new armor:
Ratchet: Let me outta this thing you Blarg-headed frack monkey! I can barely breathe and my tail feels like it's shoved right up my—! -speech function cuts off-
Baldur's Gate: Minsc manages to keep Boo hidden from Irenicus's capture party. Supposedly there is ever so much of Minsc to search. And Imoen speaks for everyone by going, "Ew, I don't want to know." Not that Minsc looks anything like Richard Gere, but...
The Korean arcade game Boong-Ga Boon-Ga requires players to jab a plastic finger into a protruding butt (euphemistically described as "spanking" in English advertisements). Higher scores are rewarded for stronger pokes.
Subverted in one of the Splinter Cell games: In a mission you have to get a USB drive from a guy, who has been taken hostage. When you get to him and take you can say "Where were you keeping this? It might be good to know." His response: "Not where you think I had it. I just have experience hiding things."
Implied in another mission in Pandora Tomorrow, however, where you get another storage device from another hostage, and when Sam asks how he hid it, he says to "just wash your hands when you're done with it".
Mentioned in the very first mission the player takes, when you have to obtain a Flash drive off of a captured Stalker. When questioned where he hid it, he claims "I didn't hide it down there, so don't worry."
Also, when STALKERS sitting around camp fires begin to play guitar, the way in which they get the guitar out can raise players' eyebrows. It appears out of thin air and they pull downwards, and it sure did not come from their backpack...
In-game example, whenever you have Delma in you party. So, you're in a fight, maybe you're in trouble, one of your characters is in critical condition, you'd really need a healing item... Then you remember that you put one in Delma's inventory. Come on, try and guess where she pulls it from. Exactly.
Also seen in cutscenes when Darc draws his sword. We don't actually see much apart from Darc reaching toward the hem of his kilt-like garment and seeing the sword in his hand after a sword drawing sound effect. Its never explained where he stows his sword between fights but...
Near the end of Chapter 5, while Morgan stabs LeChuck after Guybrush has trapped him, Elaine gives the villain one by stabbing him with the Cutlass of Kaflu... let's just say... right in the fundament! And this is an E10+ rated game, too!
Previously subverted near the end of Chapter 1: when the player tries to use the ancient weather vane on De Singe while he's in the messed up idol, Guybrush will say, "Oh, I'd love to, but I'm pretty sure that De Singe doesn't have the necessary... slots."
In the fighting game Skullgirls, Cerebella has the kancho version of this trope as a move.
Demoman:(to Engineer) You come wide at me again, boy, I'll stick that wrench right up yer arse! Demoman:(to Engineer again) Go on and build more o' yer little guns. I'll shove every one of them up yer arse! Soldier: Merasmus! I am going to pull a rabbit out of your ass! Soldier:(to Medic) I'm gonna mail my boot to the Kaiser with your ass around it! Soldier (to Administrator): Then I guess you'd better take me to the gravel pit and shoot me, lady. 'Cause if you ever ask me to kill my friend again, I will put my boot so far up your ass it will be on the news.
In Guilty Gear one of Faust's overdrives has him do this to his opponent using his oversized scalpel. The vocal responses he gets out of them are rather comical at times (Such as Chipp's "OH YEAH!").
The Dude: Geez. Those things are like black holes!
This happens to Akira in Keisuke's route in Togainu no Chi, in a non-comedic example. One word: screwdrivers.
How It Should Have Ended has Butch taking a moment to ask himself whether he should entrust his most valuable possession—that watch—to the care of his ditzy girlfriend. A prescient Imagine Spot later (in which he foresees having to shoot one man with a submachine gun, ram another with his car, face down a leatherclad sex maniac, and disembowel another man with a sword, you know, the usual and predictable results), and he chooses to make sure that watch is packed properly.
Butch: In fact... I'm continuing the tradition, baby!
Crops up in Collar 6 during a guest strip when Laura needed to hide a vibrator present from Sixx. Ginger went to fetch the bleach afterward.
The Wheel of Time fan comic WoT Now? has this as a running joke. The first instance is Mat getting his [literal] staff shoved up his arse; it reaches its pinnacle when Rahvingets a battleship shoved up there.
Rahvin: Umm... I'm going to have a series of sharp implements thrust up my ass, aren't I? Kinslayer: Yup. Rahvin: Dammit.
Mike and the Redneck Trees. While nothing actually happened, it was only because Peejee allowed her conscience to get the better of her and put a stop to things; otherwise, the audience is led to believe Davan and company would indeed have gone there. So to speak.
Also mentioned when Davan goes to the doctor and refuses a rectal thermometer.
"I'm not an infant. I'm a grown man who thinks his doctor should be able to check his temperature in other ways, like the forehead, ear, or, and this may seem novel, under the tongue." "Whatever you say, boy, but you're the first person to ask me to stick a rectal thermometer in his mouth."
A Gory Discretion Shot in Suicide for Hire shows Arcturus looking down at a beaten victim and mumbling "How did they manage to jam his arm in there without removing his shorts first? Aren't they denim?"
White Mage in 8-Bit Theater, after Black Mage uses necromancy move unnecessarily move a block of rubble that was only partially in his way (Comics 718 - 721)
White Mage: "This hammer will be introduced to your anatomy that is neither comfortable nor sanitary. The White Mage's oath forbids me from speaking further on this matter, but consider it a guarantee that you will taste splinters for a week when I'm through with you. However, that very same oath precludes me from enacting this extremely warranted if invasive act until I have made every effort to save the lives of those still trapped in the debris."
Start of winter term in the Whateley Universe: Don Sebastiano gets what's coming to him when the mindslave spell on Cavalier and Skybolt fails. Everyone who reads the hospital report cracks up laughing when they get to the part about the doctors having to remove the lamp base.
In one Global Guardians PBEM Universe episode, the villainous Eightball manages to smuggle the pieces of a working weapon into a prison in this fashion, far enough up to avoid detection during a body cavity search.
"He defeats people by putting them up other people's asses! That better happen in the new Dark Knight movie! The Joker will be like "I am going to kill everyone!" and Batman will be like "You are going inside an ass!" Bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo-splut! THE END!"
An Urban Legend recounted on the site starts with two youths trying to sneak into a rock concert, and ends with both dead, one in a car that's hung up in a tree, the other under the car in the same tree with a branch rammed up his rump.
There are several examples of people getting killed or injured by putting strange things up their bums, often for erotic purposes.
"First, insert hand into enemy ass. If your hand is a hook, this is even less pleasant for the other person. Then, you rotate them 63 degrees along a random axis... Then you release.”
Wood is on the receiving end when Mistress Lena allows the bears to look at her records if one of them stays behind to get a mechanized dildo shoved up his ass, and Reggie and Nelson volunteer his services.
The premiere episode, "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe," culminates with a 50-foot satellite dish emerging from Cartman's ass.
"Canceled" shows the return of the said satellite, having it emerge and retract again:
Kyle: Are you all right? Cartman: You know the feeling when the huge dump you just took shoots back up your ass and NO I'M NOT ALL RIGHT!
Another episode has Cartman smuggling all of Disneyland into a juvenile hall inside his ass.
Then there was the time Cartman tried to eat through his butt to see if he would then crap through his mouth. It works! In fact, it becomes quite a trend and leads to Martha Stewart shoving a Thanksgiving turkey up her bum.
"The Death Camp of Tolerance" was about Lemmiwinks, a gerbil that had to make the journey through Mr. Slave's digestive system.
"Stupid Spoiled Whore" gives the same treatment to Paris Hilton.
The episode that aired after the 2008 US Presidential Elections has Barack Obama shove the Hope Diamond up his ass in order to steal it.
"The Death of Eric Cartman": Cartman (who think he's dead) trashes Butters's room, which gets Butters sent to an insane asylum where he's examined by a questionable doctor whose methods included having a machine anally probe him for hours on end (the probe itself◊ was about the size of a football and rotated).
Another episode involves Quagmire returning from a vacation in Mexico with a large number of "illegal" fireworks smuggled in up his rectum.
In one episode of Super Friends, Batman produces a bat-bazooka from somewhere that might have been behind his back, but could equally have been out of his ass (especially as he's not shown carrying it earlier).
One episode of Rocko's Modern Life has Rocko going to the hospital for a checkup. During the examination, the doctor (Dr. Ben Dova) puts on a rubber glove and tells Rocko to bend over. The next scene is Rocko stumbling down the hallway holding his rear in agony. It is then revealed that the doctor is actually an escaped mental patient pretending to be a physician.
Implied, but not executed, later in the episode: Rocko crams a gigantic pill down his throat, though he's still not feeling well. He checks the label on the back of the pill's container, which reads... "Do not take orally".
The episode "The Deep South": Professor Farnsworth presents Fry with an egg-sized pill.
Fry: Are you crazy? I can't swallow that! Farnsworth: Well, then, good news! It's a suppository!
And later in the same episode:
Farnsworth: Before we go out, has everyone taken their pressure pill?
Amy:(Annoyed look) Yes. Stop asking.
Also, "Parasites Lost":
Zoidberg: I'm going to have to take a look inside you with this camera. (Fry opens his mouth) Zoidberg:Guess again.
From the first Xmas episode where Fry tries to placate a homicidal Santa robot with milk and cookies:
Santa: You dare bribe Santa? I'm gonna shove coal so far up your stocking you'll be coughing up diamonds!
Teen Titans: A sight gag involves Cyborg slapping on a rubber glove and wiggling his finger in a "cavity search" sort of gesture when Beast Boy suggests that Robin should be checked for a battery pack. It Makes Sense in Context. Sort of. (It was the episode where Red X - the one that wasn't Robin - first appeared, and Beast Boy wanted to make sure Robin hadn't replaced himself with an android while becoming the villainous identity again.)
Thinking that Stewart's father is responsible for the telephone pranks (which were actually performed by Beavis And Butthead), the biker Harry Sachs, shoves the cordless phone right up Mr. Stevenson's ass. Afterwards, the duo call Stewart to ask about the police cars and ambulance in front of his house, and it rings while inside Mr. Stevenson's butt.
One episode consists entirely of Beavis at the hospital in agony over something that's charred his butt and bursts into a propelling flame when the doctors try to examine him. It's never explained and thus, unfortunately, left for us to imagine.
There's the infamous episode where a joke was made about sticking a live firecracker up a cat's behind, which caused so much outcry that MTV was forbidden from airing it again. Clearly, the fact that they thought it went too far was saying a lot, given the type of humor this show is famous for.
Brock Samson tells the ghost pirates the key is up his ass. He then proceeds to use the goon whose hand is up his ass to beat the other one to death.
Dr. Girlfriend, having just been naked in order to have sex, somehow produces a list of demands that she dictates to the Monarch. He proceeds to wonder where she got that "magic, and probably moist" list from.
The Penguins of Madagascar: Cloudcuckoo Lander King Julien mentions how happy he is not to be a mammal when the mammals start disappearing. In order to verify his warm-blooded nature, Kowalski produces a thermometer from Hammer Space and briefly moves it under the table before yanking it back out. Julien's expression makes it abundantly clear what's going on.
This is taken to ridiculous proportions in Celebrity Deathmatch in the match between Lucy Lawless and Calista Flockheart. An accident in the fight has Callista wind up with her head up Lucy's butt, at which point, after a few minutes of stuggling, Lucy is able to completly "absorb" Callista into her body through that end of her. This somehow causes Callista to end up in her womb, which results in Lucy, at the end of the episode, giving birth to Callista as she would a newborn daughter. (What can I say? It's a weird show.)
Adventure Time: While contacting BMO to check in on Finn if he's cheered up, Jake gets a good view of BMO about to kancho him. Finn didn't take it well, especially considering BMO used both of his hands.
Implied in an episode of Sponge Bob Square Pants where two fish think a sea horse is a mechanical kiddie ride, so one takes a quarter claiming he's found the 'coin slot' and... yeah.
King of the Hill had an episode where a doctor inserts a camera into Hank's anus to check for an intestinal blockage. Hank is humiliated, but nobody else understands what the big deal is
Archer: When the eponymous Archer goes on a rampage, this happens during an interrogation.
Archer: Did you know that men can also benefit from Kegel exercises?
And in an earlier episode, Archer pulls out a grenade immediately after a threesome with Lana and the villain. Lana asks the obvious question of where he got it, and while his response is "Hanging from the lampshade", it's pretty clear it was a combination of this and Ass Pull.
Occurs in Zambezia. Kai, the young falcon hero, is showing off with his flight skills...just to be distracted for a moment by his father. It's not actually shown on-screen but it's obvious he collides with the backside of a giraffe.
Of course, this is the reason why body cavity searches are used frequently by the police, correction officers, and custom agents. It's a very common "trick" used by all variety of criminals.
Drug traffickers sometimes hide their contraband up the rectal or vaginal passage in order to hide them from police during a body search.
In American prison slang, the act of storing items in one's rectum is called "keistering."
A playground prank popular with Japanese schoolchildren is kancho (enema). The child clasps the hands together so the index fingers are pointing out, then attempts to insert them into someone's rear end.
A comedic video on how to perform kancho well can be seen here.
The Koreans have it as well, called the Dong Ch'im, or shit needle. (Literal translation) Guess what the students of the DLI (US Military Language School) Korean course are threatened with if they weren't doing push ups properly?
"When I entered the office *** was smiling and laughing as (Officer) Paula told me where she recovered the phone."
An old folk remedy people used to use in Japan (and possibly other places) involved sticking a spring onion stalk or negi into the sick person's rectum, urethra or vagina like a suppository. It's known to cure constipation and other such things, but it's not used much anymore since it's now proven to be not so safe with a risk of infection. It's used as a manga or doujin gag for much the same reason as other examples of this trope.
A surprising number of medical procedures involve going into the exit. Let's just say that the colonoscopy itself isn't nearly as bad as the preparation.
Talk to an ER Doctor. You would not believe the things people attempt to cram into their own or each other's asses.
How about the guy that tried to smuggle a grenade into prison in his ass?
Still doesn't beat the guy who used a roadcone to pour wet cement into himself.
The 1995 Ig Nobel prize in literature was awarded to DB Busch and JR Sterling for their paper "Rectal foreign bodies: case reports and a comprehensive review of the world's literature" (Surgery. 1986 Sep;100(3):512-9). "The citations include reports of, among other items: seven light bulbs; a knife sharpener; two flashlights; a wire spring; a snuff box; an oil can with potato stopper; eleven different forms of fruits, vegetables and other foodstuffs; a jeweler's saw; a frozen pig's tail; a tin cup; a beer glass; and one patient's remarkable ensemble collection consisting of spectacles, a suitcase key, a tobacco pouch and a magazine"
The 2006 Ig Nobel in Medicine was awarded to FM Fresmire for his paper "Termination of intractable hiccups with digital rectal massage" (Annal of Emergency Medicine. 1988 Aug;17(8):872). AKA shoving a finger up someone's asshole to treat a week-long bout of hiccups.
Suppositories, which are usually used as medicine for diarrhea, piles and other nasty things. Three guesses as to where they're inserted...
Real life intelligence agencies have gadgets (or containers for them) that are specifically made to hide in the rectum.
The Soviet Union designed a rectal pistol for spies and assassins. After the infamous Doctor Who "Bad Wolf" episode this has led to some jokes in rare gun collecting circles about people using "the Harkness harness" when referring to attempts to find examples of this weapon. As so few were made it's a really rare piece... cue jokes about how hard it is to find...
A sea cucumber's gills consist of frilly tentacle-like structures that sprout from the inside wall of its anus. It normally extends them to breathe, but if threatened, it retracts them into its anus. Filter-feeding species also capture plankton on their gills, then retract them into their anus to transfer the food to their gut.
There's a species of cusk-eel that actually lives in the anus of sea cucumbers.
Many species of primitive sea life, especially jellyfish, have only one orifice that they use as both mouth and anus.
A news story about a man in China who died after his "friends" put a live eel up his bottom while he was passed out drunk. The Eel ATE HIS INSIDES. It's similar to an older story in 1000 Ways to Die.
Take immature, stupid people, usually inexperienced with drinking, put them in a party, let them have all the alcohol they want. SOMEONE is getting something shoved up their ass.
The traditional (though likely false) account of the death of King Edward II of England is that he was murdered with a red hot poker up the back passage. He is not the only person supposed to have been killed this way, either.
The Saxon king Edmund II died when a Viking stabbed him up the arse while Edmund was using the toilet. What a shitty way to kill someone.
Edmund died to a viking stabbing him in the arse in 1016. The English got their revenge in 1066 when a Viking held off the English at Stamford Bridge... Until an Englishman hopped in a barrel with a spear, floated downriver, and paid back the debt.
Viktor Suvorov described in one of his books the glasshouse in the Soviet Army. Apparently, each time an arrested man came there (whether to begin his sentence or after a day of work), his rectum was inspected for smuggled cigarettes or other forbidden items.
The torture/execution method of impalement consists of this (Warning: SFW article, but squicky context).
Abner Louima had this done to him with a broomstick (or toilet plunger handle).
Demonstrated in this comic strip as an "oil check", as performed by the US Marines.
A Libyan rebel was filmed doing this to Gadhaffi in his final hours.
A news story in around 2004-2005 about someone emulating the Jackass films. The guy tried putting a firecracker in his rectum...resulting in second degree burns and a cracked pelvis.
"Butt chugging," or the consumption of alcohol via enema. Can be fatal if done with distilled spirits or even heavily fortified wines, because alcohol absorbs far faster via the membranes of the rectum and large intestine and does a first bypass past the liver - which can kill with anything above the proof of ordinary beer or wine, even in an alcoholic with high tolerance. Low-proof beers or wines are safer (and far less irritating) but even then only in the amount of a standard oral drink and not with someone who is already drunk - and the practice is not advised for anyone who isn't into the aforementioned forms of erotic play to some extent.
Other drugs are sometimes consumed this way as well, in a method called the "booty bump" which consists of placing a pill or powder or piece of a drug in the rectum, or via an enema of the liquid or diluted drug. Just as dangerous/deadly as the above (and more so with something that isn't alcohol or a prescription drug where the dosage is known), because the mucus membrane of the rectum is the closest route to directly entering the bloodstream without an intravenous injection.
One historic ninja legend states that a particularly short ninja waited in the pit beneath an outhouse for his target to come by, then he had a clear shot at his target with his sword, combining this trope with The Can Kicked Him. The other version has the guy crawling through the sewers and waiting below the location in question.
Stories like this are why anything you put inside your or someone else's butt that is not strongly attached to another human being should have a flared base - which will ensure the base stays outside the body.
Dr. John Harvey Kellogg was a rather dangerous combination of religious fanatic, serious physician and outright quack who was obsessed with enemas, in part because he believed that 90% of all illnesses could be traced back to "corruption of the bowels" — the page quote is only exaggerated in its amount, not in what actually happened; yoghurt enemas were a daily treatment at the sanitarium, though he only delivered half a pint to each patient that way (they had the eat the other half pint in the normal fashion). It's believed, thanks to his pro-enema/anti-sex fixation, that he might have been a klismaphiliac (i.e. someone with a fetish for enemas).