Random

Film: Diamonds Are Forever

I can see every part... nothing hides in the heart.

"Welcome to Hell, Blofeld."

"Curious... how everyone who touches those diamonds seems to die."
Mr. Wint

The one where Connery came back (for the last time in the official series).

Diamonds Are Forever is the seventh James Bond film, starring Sean Connery in his last (and least regarded) Eon series appearance. After Bond kills Blofeld in the opening sequence, he is assigned to an international diamond-smuggling case. A huge amount of diamonds have been stolen from the South African mines and two Camp Gay assassins are killing everyone in the smuggling ring ladder, rung by rung. Bond infiltrates the group by managing to kill smuggler Peter Franks and poses as him in an effort to find out what is going on. He discovers that the head of the smuggling ring is none other than a not-so-dead-after-all Ernst Stavro Blofeld, who found a way to create body doubles of himself through plastic surgery. The diamond smuggling is revealed to be part of a plan by to build a Kill Sat and hold the world hostage.

Of note, Sean Connery, who was done with the series after You Only Live Twice, was lured back to playing Bond thanks to a massive paycheck. He used half of it to establish a charity to support deprived children in Edinburgh. When asked if he would ever play the character after this, Connery replied "Never again." This later served as inspiration for the title of the unofficial Bond film Never Say Never Again.

Parts of the first Austin Powers movie are a direct spoof of Diamonds Are Forever, including the Las Vegas setting and the casino sequence, the miniature models displaying the reach of the villain's businesses, the Russian-accented countdown, and the Room Disservice sneak-attack against the hero at the end of the film.


Tropes:

  • Accidental Aiming Skills: Mooks come into Bond's hotel room where he's stripping down the lovely Plenty O'Toole, and toss her out the glass door and off the balcony, where she falls about 100 feet clad in nothing but her panties and her high heels to land dead center in the hotel pool. In response to Bond's lampshading that it was a fantastic shot, the astonished mook admits, "I didn't know there was a pool there!"
  • Actually a Doombot: Blofeld has been using plastic surgery to turn henchmen into doubles to fool Bond. It works, and Bond kills two of them mistaking them for the real deal, plus a third in the first scene who is in between procedures.
  • America Saves the Day: U.S. helicopters attack Blofeld's oil rig.
  • Animal Assassin: Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd use a scorpion to kill Dr. Tynan.
  • The Anticipator: Bond drops into Willard Whyte's penthouse suite and, having been observed by Blofeld, is greeted by Willard Whyte (actually Blofeld with a disguised voice) with the words, 'Howdy. Welcome, son. We've been expecting you'.
  • Anti-Love Song: I don't need love/For what good will love do me?...
  • Artistic License – Biology: Dr. Tyan is killed by a scorpion sting and dies almost instantly. Most scorpion stings aren't fatal, and even then can take hours to kill.
  • Artistic License – Geography: Someone mentions "Nairobi, in South Africa". Even if they didn't mean the republic, the city is in Kenya in east Africa.
  • Artistic License – History: The first laser was generated using a ruby, not a diamond.
  • Artistic License – Physics \ Convection Schmonvection: Shady Tree opens Bond's coffin without any problem, even though it would be hot as hell since it had just come out of a crematorium...
  • Ass Shove: "Alimentary, my dear Leiter."
  • Auction of Evil: "An international auction, with nuclear supremacy going to the highest bidder."
  • BANG Flag Gun: Kidd and Wint use one to kill Shady Tree in a deleted scene.
  • Bavarian Fire Drill: "Klaus Hergesheimer - G Section"
  • The Big Board: Willard Whyte's financial holdings.
  • Bigger Is Better in Bed: Bond is implied to be this, not surprisingly, when he strips down out of his tuxedo for Tiffany Case, who becomes progressively more aroused as she watches Bond (who she still thinks is Peter Franks at this point) relieve himself of his clothes for her. Once Bond is standing completely naked in front of her a smiling Tiffany is so overwhelmed by the sight of his manhood that she affectionately compliments him by saying "I'm very impressed. There's a lot more to you than I had expected."
  • Bodyguard Babes: Bambi and Thumper. No, really, those are their names.
  • Bond One-Liner: Oh, so many. Many aren't even by Bond, but Kidd and Wint.
  • Bury Your Gays: Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd
  • Camp: Lots of it.
  • Camp Gay: Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd.
  • Camp Straight: Charles Gray's portrayal of Blofeld is decidedly more Camp than in previous films. He's even in drag at one point in the film.
  • Can't Kill You, Still Need You: Shady Tree rescues James Bond from Albert Wint and Charles Kidd's incineration attempt on him because he had passed phony diamonds on to Shady, and Shady wants the real stuff. Albert R. Saxby tries to rescue Shady Tree in the same manner, but as James soon finds out, Saxby had talked the two assassins down too late and Shady had already been shot in the head by Mr. Wint.
  • Car Skiing: While being pursued by Las Vegas police Bond uses a ramp to put his car up on two wheels to fit through an alley that would normally be too narrow. The police car following him also tries it but flips over on its roof instead.
  • Cement Shoes: How Plenty O'Toole dies.
  • Chair Reveal: After Bond enters Willard Whyte's penthouse apartment, Blofeld reveals himself by spinning his chair around.
  • Chekhov's Gun: Tiffany Case's black wig.
  • Clone by Conversion: Blofeld attempts this at the start. Bond subverts the trope by drowning the would-be clone in mud.
  • Coffin Contraband:
    • James Bond impersonates a diamond smuggler he has killed and smuggles the diamonds inside the corpse inside a coffin.
    Felix Leiter: I give up. I know the diamonds are in the body, but where?
    Bond: Alimentary, Dr. Leiter...
    • When Bond is trapped in a coffin and about to be cremated alive the coffin he's trapped in is supposed to have the $50,000 he was to be paid for smuggling, which is how they lured him into the coffin in the first place.
  • Collapsing Lair: Willard Whyte's oil rig, as a result of the helicopter attack.
  • Continuity Nod: Bond's Roaring Rampage of Revenge at the start of the film seems to have been motivated by Blofeld killing Tracy at the end of the last movie.
  • Creepy Monotone: The guy counting down the satellite in the final scene
  • Dead Person Impersonation: Bond, as Peter Franks. Inverted when Bond switches wallets with Franks in Amsterdam.
  • Deadpan Snarker: The entire film is practically a war of snark between Bond and Blofeld.
  • Distracted by the Sexy: Lampshaded, as Blofeld asks Tiffany to put something on over her revealing bikini, saying "I've come too far to have the aim of my crew affected by the sight of a pretty body.".
    • Tiffany herself arguably falls victim to this when Bond - still posing as Peter Franks - decides to undress for her and she watches with obvious delight before breaking out into a dirty smile and saying "Peter, I'm very impressed. There's a lot more to you than I had expected."
  • Disney Villain Death: Peter Franks.
  • The Dragon: Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd as well as Bert Saxby and Bambi and Thumper.
  • Dragon Their Feet: Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd. For that matter, they and Blofeld are never onscreen at the same time, nor are they ever seen directly communicating with him.
  • Dressing as the Enemy: In the opening segment Bond takes out one of Blofeld's doctors and steals his clothing so he can infiltrate an operation room.
  • Dress Hits Floor: When Bond decides to strip Plenty O'Toole down to her bare essentials the camera pans down her shapely body as Bond unzips her purple satin dress and we watch the dress fall, first showing us her bare ankles before pulling back to reveal Plenty in all her glory, clad in nothing but her pink sheer panties, purple high heels and gold and diamond necklace.
  • Dropped a Bridge on Him: Blofeld, assuming that you count his final demise as happening in this film. In fairness, they were apparently planning to bring him back for one last outing in the next film, but Kevin McClory demanded that the producers stop using Blofeld. He is finally Killed Off for Real in the Bond Cold Open of For Your Eyes Only, though for legal reasons the studio couldn't confirm that until decades later and he is credited as "man in wheelchair".
  • Elevator Action Sequence: Bond's lethal fight with smuggler Peter Franks.
  • Expospeak Gag: Q demonstrated his slot machine tampering gizmo to Tiffany Case, that is until she got up and followed a lady holding a Persian cat.
  • Everything's Sparkly with Jewelry: Including Kill Sats.
  • Fake-Out Make-Out: Bond does this with himself.
  • Famed in Story: After Bond disposes of Peter Franks he switches wallets with the body. When Tiffany Case inspects the corpse and finds the wallet her first reaction is a disbelieving "You just killed James Bond!" Given how often Bond drops his name in the films, it makes sense that he'd develop something of a reputation.
  • Fiery Redhead: Tiffany Case, when Bond first meets her.
  • The Film of the Book: The second film where they started taking serious liberties with the source material (the first being You Only Live Twice); not necessarily worse, but still noticed. For instance, Blofeld and SPECTRE are not in the novel - the villains are the smuggling ring The Spangled Mob.
  • Fingore: The "mousetrap" Bond carries in his jacket at the beginning seems to slice the henchman's fingers off.
  • Foreshadowing: Several examples.
  • Frickin' Laser Beams: On Blofeld's Kill Sat.
  • Gem-Encrusted: The Kill Sat itself.
  • Getting Crap Past the Radar: Bond's line after he's held up at gunpoint in his hotel room with Plenty: "Well, I'm afraid you've caught me with more than my hands up."
  • Go-Go Enslavement: Bond arrives on Blofeld's base to find Tiffany in a bikini.
  • Good Is Dumb: Tiffany Case after her High Heel-Face Turn.
  • Good Smoking, Evil Smoking: Blofeld uses a cigarette holder; he must be evil.
  • Grappling-Hook Pistol: Bond's "mountaineering about" outside Willard Whyte's penthouse.
  • Grand Finale: Can be seen as this to the Sean Connery era as a whole. In addition to being Connery's last appearance in a main series Bond film, it also saw the last appearances of Blofeld and SPECTRE as primary antagonists, with future films mostly having Bond facing off against rich megalomaniacs and/or political renegades rather than a large criminal organizaton.
  • Groin Attack
    • Thumper knees Bond in the groin off camera.
    • Bond squeezes Wint's groin while tying his hands and the bomb together with his coattails, causing Wint to squeal with delight before he has a chance to realize that he's screwed.
  • High Heel-Face Turn: Diamond smuggler Tiffany Case after she falls in love with Bond. It's the only thing that keeps her alive and out of prison.
  • No Celebrities Were Harmed: Willard Whyte for Howard Hughes (in fact, the plot emerged from a dream Broccoli had, where he went visiting his friend Hughes and an impostor was there instead).
  • No One Could Survive That: Blofeld at the end. Indeed it was going to be revealed he survived, but then the rights issues reared their ugly head.
  • Not Distracted by the Sexy: The "pervert's convention" of thugs who throw Plenty out the window are completely oblivious to the fact that she's a beautiful, shapely woman wearing nothing but flimsy see through pink panties and high heels.
  • Obvious Stunt Double: In the scene where Willard Whyte's two female captors dive into the pool after Bond, Thumper is clearly not the same woman as the actress who was playing her earlier.
  • Pink Means Feminine: Plenty O'Toole wears pink sheer panties.
  • Poor Communication Kills: "Your problems are all behind you now...".
  • Post-Climax Confrontation: With Wint and Kidd.
  • Power Makes Your Hair Grow: Between the last movie and this one, Blofeld somehow usurped Willard Whyte's vast empire, and suddenly...
  • Pretty in Mink: Tiffany is covered by a white fox throw in one scene.
  • Punch Clock Villain: Dr. Metz.
  • Punny Name: Tiffany Case.
  • Red Alert: At the U.S. missile base just before Blofeld's Kill Sat attacks.
  • Red Right Hand: Looks like Blofeld's cat(s) has (have) heterochromia i.e. eyes of two different colors.
  • Reluctant Fanservice Girl: Plenty O'Toole becomes this after losing her clothes and being caught by the "perverts convention".
  • Right-Hand Cat: Belonging to Blofeld.
  • Roaring Rampage of Revenge: Bond goes on this at the start of the film presumably to avenge his wife.
  • Room Disservice: Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd try this on Bond and Tiffany Case.
  • Scully Box: Lana Wood needed one when on screen with Sean Connery. Except of course, in the scenes where she was lacking her clothes.
  • Sex Face Turn: Tiffany Case, with James Bond.
  • Shameful Strip: Arguably happens to Plenty O'Toole after Bond takes her back to hotel room, but the real shame came not so much from the act of Bond stripping Plenty down to her bare essentials but rather came from Plenty being caught after the fact.
  • Shameless Fanservice Girl: Plenty O'Toole starts out being one of these, but once she loses her clothes and is caught by thugs she very quickly becomes a Reluctant Fanservice Girl.
  • She-Fu: Bambi and Thumper
  • Shoot Out the Lock: A padlock on the door to Willard Whyte's room is shot off to free him.
  • Simple Score of Sadness: Used whenever we see Mr. Wynn and Mr. Kidd.
  • Soft Water: An almost naked Plenty O'Toole gets thrown out of Bond's very high up hotel room but survives by landing in the pool.
  • Spy Speak: "Quarterback to Tight End. Operation Passover commence."
  • Stab the Salad: Mr. Wint and his icepick-like cork removing device.
  • Storming the Castle: Armed helicopters vs. a heavily armed oil platform.
  • Straight Gay: While Mr. Wint could be said to be vaguely swishy (though not really for the time), Mr. Kidd is so un-flamboyant, you'd never guess he's gay if not for the "For a lady" scene.
  • Swiss Cheese Security: Around Willard Whyte's laboratory where the Kill Sat was constructed.
  • Tap on the Head: Bond is knocked out after placing the diamonds in a compartment.
  • Technology Marches On: The codes that control the satellite are stored on a tape cassette that protrudes prominently in Tiffany's bikini bottom. Today, a flash drive would've been more discrete, though there'd still be the communication SNAFU between Bond and Tiffany.
  • There Is No Kill Like Overkill: Inverted, some guy is threatening world governments with a satellite-mounted laser guided from fortified offshore oil rig, and all the US government responds with is utility/observer helicopters armed with rockets. Granted, bombers would have greatly shortened the climax of the movie.
  • Those Two Bad Guys: Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd again.
  • Time Bomb: Used twice by Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd - first to destroy the diamond-smuggling helicopter, and at the end in an attempt to kill Bond and Tiffany Case.
  • Trap Door: Subverted when Bond suspects one of these in an elevator, only to be gassed instead.
  • Treasure Chest Cavity: The diamonds are smuggled into the US inside Peter Franks' body.
  • Two Rights Make A Wrong: Bond and Tiffany both have the idea of swapping the control tape for Blofeld's Kill Sat with a fake. Result: the real tape gets swapped right back into the machine.
  • Victoria's Secret Compartment: What Tiffany lacks in subtlety, she makes up for in cheek. Such nice cheeks, too...
  • Villainous Crossdresser: Blofeld does this as a disguise to escape.
  • Villainous Rescue: Bond is only saved from being cremated because Shady Tree asks to take him out, as the diamonds were fake.
  • Visual Pun: When Bond meets Tiffany, she changes hair color twice in his presence, like a trope about a trio of female characters...
  • Viva Las Vegas
  • Voice Changeling: Both Blofeld and James Bond use voice duplicating machines to fool other people.
  • Voodoo Shark: Bond tilts a car to get through a narrow alley, from which it exits tilted the other way. This was considered so obvious that a shot was inserted showing the car flipping around, despite this clearly being impossible.
  • Welcome to Hell: Bond to Blofeld after he apparently kills him. Yeah, not really.
  • "What Now?" Ending: "James, how the hell do we get those diamonds down again?"
  • Whole Plot Reference: Die Another Day pretty much takes the plot of this one lock, stock and barrel.
  • Wholesome Crossdresser: Blofeld sure looks like a kindly old lady in that getup...
  • Wicked Cultured: Blofeld loves his smokes and quips.
  • Wiper Start: Bond does this twice. First, when he jumps into the moon rover, he doesn't know how to start it. Second, when he hops into the crane lowering Blofeld's escape sub, he doesn't know how to operate it and drops the sub into the water.
  • Would Hit a Girl: Or at least choke one.
  • Wrong Genre Savvy: Bond suspects an elevator he was forced into to have a trapdoor, so he backs right up against the wall. Unfortunately he's gassed instead.
  • You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: Blofeld sends assassins to dispose of the members of his diamond smuggling ring.
  • You Look Familiar: Charles Gray (Blofeld) earlier played a British agent in You Only Live Twice. Ironically, said agent is murdered by SPECTRE, so he is basically playing the man ultimately responsible for his own death.