The bigger the penis is, the better the sex is.
This assumption is a staple of modern fiction when it comes to Sex Tropes. It's the reason why Compensating for Something is, by its very nature, an insult — everybody knows that a real man has a big penis. A heroic character, when his penis is mentioned (which isn't all that often, except by innuendo), will usually have a big one.
Consequently, this is also the reason why villainous or loser characters are portrayed as having a small penis, or something else small meant to represent a penis. It's a deficiency that makes them bad people, or at least not cool like the heroes are. By further extension, Good People Have Good Sex, to some degree because they're usually well-endowed.
Unsurprisingly, most writers don't really think through the implications of this. This can result in the actual act of sex being physically impossible given the circumstances. Frequently the precise dimensions are given, which conjures up the image of the PoV-character getting out a tape measure.
There's a limit on how much this trope can apply in Real Life, regardless of personal preferences: if somebody's penis is too big for their partner's orifices, this could easily make it physically painful to have sex.
Obviously, this is a subtrope of Bigger Is Better. When a large penis has comedic value instead of sexual value, see Gag Penis. Contrast with Teeny Weenie, which is a penis which is smaller than the average, and often leads to mockery of the guy who has it because of this trope. See also IKEA Erotica. For female breasts that are big, it's either Buxom Is Better or Gag Boobs.
When a writer goes extreme, then it can become a case of Anatomically Impossible Sex. Alternately, it may be a case of Writers Cannot Do Math.
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There's a late-night infomercial for a penis-enlargement pill with "testimonials", and among them is a woman who calmly states that the biggest penis she has ever been with was "ten or eleven inches" like it was no big deal, acting pretty calm about the fact she most likely had sex with a small pony, a large dog, or a very abnormal man.
"Over 88% of women say that size DOES matter. And the other 12% are lying."- Opening line from 'Extamax' commercial. It later uses the Empire State Building, and pictures labeled 'actual disappointment' and 'actual hopelessness'.
Spam for penis-enlargement pills. Perhaps most notable, not to mention worrying, was the spammer who sent out e-mails with the subject line: "12 more inches ain't so bad, don't you think so?". 12more inches?
Anime & Manga
Roberto from Monster. If we are to believe the obese prostitute with whom he was having sex.
Randel Oland from Pumpkin Scissors. The amazing size of his penis leads to one nurse at the hospital where he's staying to become obsessed with finding a hospital male urinal that would fit him. This leads to a running joke where the nurse constantly attacks him during his stays with urinals she's reinforced or new attempts at shoving him in them. It goes without saying that Randel is appropriately terrified of her.
Similarly a filler episode of Naruto explored Gai and Kakashi's friendship when they were children. When Gai accidentally spies on Kakashi when he is in the bathroom, Gai is shocked enough at what he sees that he actually falls off the ceiling he was holding on to. Next scene, we see the two boys looking down Gai's suit. Kakashi drily compares what he sees to an acorn. Gai claims that changed when he started growing into his adult body.
Panty from Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt certainly believes this, but this trope is actually subverted when she tries to have sex with Brief after she regrows her hymen in the final episode — his size just makes it even more painful.
Averted in Koibana Onsen, Shuuhei's large penis makes it even harder for him to get intimate with his girlfriend who has anxiety problems.
Several characters in the Italian porn series Ramba. Deconstructed; it is shown as being painful to the women involved, and is sometimes used to deliberately torture them.
In the Love And Rockets "Palomar" stories, Gato, who has been married to both Pipo and Guadalupe, has a huge one. Pipo has apparently become accustomed to it and doesn't think much of average-sized men. She dates Igor, of comparable size (Gato and Igor actually compare in a bathroom), and later has several sexual encounters with an unnamed, sleazy-looking character who dwarfs even Gato and Igor. She has no problem with his size in any opening. But then there's Fritzi, who has a fulfilling sex life with mostly average-sized men - ironically including Pipo's son Sergio - and is twice married to the "love of her life," Scott the Hog. He's described as having a barely functioning "choad."
Exaggerated, parodied and deconstructed: inspector Maccaroni sports a 40 cm thing. He's shown having a first time with a rentboy, who thinks he cannot handle it despite his profession. Maccaroni claims that "they all whine like that in the beginning, but in the end, they all love it". However, Maccaroni is unhappy because he feels that his lovers only love his penis and think they tend to forget that "there's a person hanging from it".
Discussed: Maccaroni meets a similarly well-endowed porn actor, and they have a talk about how very large penises can be troublesome.
Implied in Horndog with the strip's main character, Bob.
Shows up again in another Kalash93 story called Relax. It's implied that not only does the protagonist not have a prodigeous endowment, but that the sex is actually better for it. This is an example of Truth in Television. Average and somewhat smaller are actually the most ideal penis sizes because they can be easily and comfortably accomodated by women of varying sizes and equipment.
The fanfic version of this trope, taken to its logical extreme. (The link doesn't go to the fic itself, just the fanfic-rants post about it. The fic itself, unfortunately, is lost.)
In the fan-dubbed Fisting the North Star, one of the characters is actually named "Biggus Dickus." Naturally, it also abuses other sexual tropes.
A (generally surprisingly good) slash of "Snow White" includes a thirty-foot-long dragon that enjoys being deep-throated by humanoid species, and using magic to re-emerge from another orifice. It is shown as mostly uncomfortable for the recipient and undertaken only as an alternative to being eaten (not the fun way).
Trevor "Hotshot" Cole of DC Nation had a brief stint as a porn actor. When this is discovered, his female teammates and their friends track down the film and make a movie night of it. Batwoman (Kathy Duquense from DCAU) is notably impressed at Trevor's "door prize from God".
Actually played for drama in Misfiled Dreams, about how it being too big might not actually be pleasing for a woman, but rather painful.
Except when he's keeping it in a dog to keep it warm.
In series like Harry Potter and Naruto, whose fanons are loaded with bashing, while virtually good characters (eg Harry and Naruto) are said to be always well endowed, those who get bashed a lot (Sasuke, Draco, ...Ron) are not. Naturally this leads to Harry and Naruto having many harem fics....
However, it must be noted that the best endowed members of Naruto's and Harry's respective age cohorts are usually Choji and Kiba, and Crabbe and Neville Longbottom! Furthermore, at least for Naruto, these measurements tend to apply only before the timeskip, and is usually explained as Naruto entering puberty first. After the timeskip, all bets are off.
Fan pictures often depict penises that are so anatomically impossible, it boggles the mind how anyone could think its sexy. It also involves scenes that would probably kill the person being penetrated. Note: when this is pointed out, said artists don't like it since it ruins their fun.
Gattaca feels the need to inform us that, despite his genetic "inferiority", Vincent has "beautiful equipment". It was actually a prosthetic, and the doctor knew this the whole time. He was admiring the craftsmanship.
Young Frankenstein went into about half a dozen jokes going on about the monster's enormous Schwanzstucker, which isn't a real German word.
Inverted in A Chinese Torture Chamber Story, where it's also a plot point: Gott has such an impossibly large penis that no woman will have sex with him. He's also a very nice guy, so he refuses to force his arranged wife to take it. Eventually, the size of his genitals and what happens to them are the single most important plot point. This movie is weird.
Inverted in Full Metal Jacket, where a Vietnamese hooker doesn't want to have sex with a black Marine, because she thinks that his penis is too big.
Lady Snowblood averts this. When the blackmailer Genjiro reveals his gigantic penis, the reaction from Oyuki, the title character, is not adulation, but horror. Genjiro himself is aware of the implications of his large penis, noting that one that large will usually cause the receiving woman serious pain. (In the manga it was made clear that Oyuki was a lesbian.)
For the film Watchmen, the electric blue penis of the nearly-perpetually naked Doctor Manhattan lead to many, MANY, snickers about the blue wang being a main character (sometimes referred to as "Lower Manhattan"). The extended director's version contains more scenes involving said character. A scene with Dr. Manhattan walking towards the camera, his thighs batting himself back and forth proved a last straw for the studio, who then drew the line.
Meat from Porky's, who elicits a "That boy is deformed!" from a woman pretending to be a prostitute.
Tarik in Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle has a remarkably philosophical attitude about all the bad fortune he endures - he explains that having a big penis helps him cope.
Aversion: In the film Kinsey Alfred Kinsey and his wife have come to a doctor because they're having trouble consummating their marriage. The doctor explains that sometimes, if a woman with a thicker-than-usual hymen is matched with a well-endowed man, it can make sex tough. He holds out a (short, roughly 6") ruler and asks Kinsey's wife to point to the ruler, indicating how big the...member in question is. She hesitates, then points to a spot in the air TWO INCHES past the end of the ruler. The doctor just raises his eyebrows a bit and says, "I'm surprised you didn't pass out."
Invoked in Bedazzled 2000. Brendan Fraser's character is granted seven wishes by the devil, which he uses to attempt to woo the woman of his dreams. He wishes to be a famous athlete, but she can't take him seriously when she discovers his tiny penis. Then, with his next wish, he specifically asks for a large penis, and ends up gay.
Connie Swail (who has just been rescued from becoming a virgin sacrifice): How come his is so much bigger than yours?
Officer Joe Friday: Miss?
Connie Swail: The gun.
Officer Joe Friday: I've never needed more.
Mash - 'Painless' Waldowski is remarkable enough that folks line up to take a peek at him in the shower. Remarks one: "I'd like to see that angry!"
The main character in The Seventies film Welcome Home Brother Charles kills his enemies and pleasures their wives with his ridiculously large and prehensile penis. And of course, it's Blaxploitation.
Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights. His very large penis is the main reason he got into the porn business. Dirk was based on the real-life porn star John Holmes, who was famous for the same reason.
Discussed in the German movie Der Eisbär. The titular character worries a bit if he's "inadequate". A female friend of his ex tells him that it's not length that matters, but girth. He shares that information with others later.
Dashiki: Oh, so you're man enough to come up in me, but you ain't man enough to take care of what comes out, get my nails done, pay my rent, and get me a new car? You know what? You ain't nothing but a little boy.
Ashtray: Ain't all about the size of the boat! It's the motion in the ocean.
Dashiki: ...That's not what I'm talking about.
Invoked in Rock Slyde. He stars in a pair of "art films" (gay, pirate-themed musical pornos) but becomes a detective instead, because he's "hung like a hamster".
In Moulin Rouge!, Ewan McGregor's character Christian is said to have a "Huge Talent", and John Leguizamo played the Post-Impressionist artist Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, who was said to have been very well-endowed.
In Alien Nation, where aliens coexist more or less peacefully with humans, an alien sees a condom for the first time and asks his human friend about its purpose. After he gets the explanation:
Alien:"And they fit?"
Alien:"And still, they fit?"
Earning him an intrigued look from a human woman nearby.
In Gozu, the size of the protagonist's manhood is a recurring topic.
In Legally Blonde, a woman named Brooke is accused of not just killing her much older husband, but of being a Gold Digger. She points out that she didn't need the dude's money as she's already wealthy... and insists that her husband had other assets of interest, thank you very much. Three guesses as to what.
Nick "The Dick" from Bachelor Party. Places his member in a hot dog bun as a prank and "serves" it to the mother of the bride at a Chippendales-type revue.
The Roman historian Suetonius mentions that Emperor Vespasian once cracked a joke by parodying a line from some old scrolls of poetry when describing "a particularly well-endowed individual" in his court: "He strides along carrying a lance which casts a preposterous shadow."
Played seriously in Harlan Ellison's short story "I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream", in which one of the main characters, Benny (a formerly gay and very handsome scientist), is transformed by AM into a apelike creature with horse-like genitalia. This may be Values Dissonance and/or Unfortunate Implications in action, as gay men can be as fond of this trope as straights (see, for example, the work of Tom of Finland); Ellison implies that AM made Benny ugly and partially retarded because he was handsome and smart, and that making him over-endowed was to make him appealing to the one woman trapped in AM.
The Anita Blake series is guilty of this. At the extreme end, a character is mentioned as having one six inches ... wide. And a foot long. Yes, a forearm-sized penis. Never mind that in real life it would be a painful handicap. Said character is derisively called 'Tripod' by fans and anti-fans alike.
And another character — considered to be merely "well-endowed" — was described in inches. Somebody measured that, and figured out that it would be the size of a two-liter soda pop bottle. And yet, we're supposed to think that a tiny woman can "handle" such a thing because she's simply that awesome.
In Please Kill Me, a book about the late 1960s counterculture and the birth of punk, one of the interviewees explains the reason for Jim Morrison's popularity. It wasn't his poetry, that's for sure.
After her first session with a new love interest, the heroine of Steel Beach specifically references this trope when she bitches at length about the tendency of first time Female-to-Male gender benders to check off the "HUNG" option even though they'd just been girls themselves and really ought to know better.
Also averted in Varley's Titan series, when a woman from a monogender Lady Land informs her first male lover in all seriousness that she's very happy his penis isn't too big. He takes it as a compliment anyway.
She's been told that all men are constantly raping women (often to death) with their enormous penises. The first time she sees one, she actually giggles, because she can't believe that's what she's been warned about.
She also discovers early on that a Titanide's "rear" penis matches the horror stories much better, but while intimate relationships between humans and Titanides canonically do happen that again just serves to point out that it's just not practical for them to have straight-up intercourse that way.
In David Drake's Cross the Stars, Don "Mad Dog" Slade dismisses the notion that a large penis equals sexual prowess ("It's not the size of the tool, it's the skill of the workman") but not until after the author mentions that his army buddies briefly called him "Tripod" before an earlier nickname reasserted itself.
Deconstructed in the Earth's Children series. Jondalar spends much of Valley Of The Horseswhining about how he can't find a woman who can take him at full length without pain, despite his otherwise legendary bed skills. The fact that Ayla could is one of the things that supposedly mark them as soul mates. Never mind that those who'd read the first book, Clan of The Cave Bear, know there's probably a not-so-wonderful reason Ayla can take him without complaint. His defining trait earned him the nicknames, "Jondalar The Wonder Penis" and "Dongalar."
Mario Puzo takes a rather large detour from describing the Corleone family saga in The Godfather to describe Sonny's large penis. The moment makes it into the movie as well if you're looking for it during the wedding scene - watch his wife's hand gestures carefully. However, this is one of the few realistic examples: His wife complains how painful sex is, and Sonny's mistress Lucy has an enlarged vagina. Lucy needs vaginal reduction surgery later on, in order to have good sex with lesser men than Sonny.
There is an Arabian Nights-inspired story in which two illicit lovers earn a single wish each at the story's beginning. The hero uses his one wish for the obvious type of self-improvement, allowing him to better please his lover: a genie's human betrothed. When the genie and her father come to kill her lover, the bride-to-be uses a magical bag to reduce the hero's penis to near-microscopic size. Seeing this, the genie is so humiliated to have lost his bride to such a poorly-endowed man that he departs in shame. Disgusted, the father disowns his daughter, leaving her to whatever feeble pleasure she might gain from wedding the ill-equipped hero... not realizing that she has one wish left.
In one of Pu Songling's fairy tales, the protagonist is too well endowed for any (human) woman to handle safely. So then a Kitsune tries to seduce him, he is overjoyed. Alas, he proves too big even for the shapeshifting fox, and the narrator quips about how chasing away werefoxes could become his profession.
Mocked in one of the Deathlands novels; Doc Tanner's sometime girlfriend Lori runs off and has an affair with a local bad boy. She then returns to the group, complaining that his big dick came with a small brain. Ryan dryly remarks that he "hears that's often the way".
In the Red Dwarf novel Better Than Life, in the Better Than Life simulation, Rimmer tries to invoke this trope by acquiring artificial bodies with bigger and bigger penises, to the point where they approach Gag Penis levels. Unfortunately, instead of improving his sex life, it simply reveal Rimmer's huge insecurities, a point he is forced to confront himself over when he sees Lister's humble but happy life.
There is a Russian poem (traditionally attributed to Ivan Barkov, although the only thing experts agree upon is that it's not the case) called "Luka Mudischev". It is a story about a widow who looked for a really big dick, and found a 35 cm one attached to the eponymous guy (his last name meaning something akin to "Big Balls")... Let's just say that the end is TRULY ghastly.
In The Hellfire Club by Peter Straub, the villain Serial Killer Dick Dart is repeatedly stated to have this. He's awfully proud of it, too, saying that his name was rather appropriate. He claims that women are crazy about him because of it, and he's shown to get very frustrated when he can't make Nora climax.
In John Ringo's There will be Dragons, a small (4'1'') elf says she used to be married to a yeti. When asked why, she says, "Think about how big his hands are. Now think lower." The stunned audience goes, "Wha ... how... ?" and she replies "Everyone's the same height lying down."
Two of Tom Reamy's works of fiction (a short story and a novel) featured women raped to death (torn apart) by ridiculously well-endowed humanoid monsters (a demon and a minotaur). In one, the investigating detective measures out some massive amount of seminal fluid during the autopsy. Tom wrote well but he may have had issues of some sort.
In One Hundred Years of Solitude, the eldest son, José Arcadio is described as headstrong, impulsive, and according to the traveling prostitute, has one of the largest pieces of genitalia she's ever seen.
His descendant Aureliano Babilonia is also similarly endowed. With him, sometimes the trope's Played for Laughs (like when he gets drunk with his friends and uses his wang for tricks), sometimes averted (his sex scene with his friend Nigromanta, in which his size scared her at first), and sometimes played straight (his sex life with his unknown aunt Amaranta Ursula).
In Memoirs Of A Woman Of Pleasure, Fanny Hill seduces the virginal young squire of her current lover, and is both delighted and horrified to discover the young man is equipped with "the maypole of a young giant".
The genetically altered Minotaur in Piers Anthony's Battle Circle series Var the Stick had equipment so large it apparently crushes the internal organs of the recipient. Maidens are given to the creature as a sacrifice in this manner.
Deconstructed in-universe in, of all things, The 13th Warrior. The narrator, a well-traveled Arab, becomes the object of multiple women's passes, and eventually asks why. On learning that local gossip attests that Arabs are well-endowed in this respect, he muses about how every place he's ever visited has told similar rumors, always about the men of some distant land, and never in agreement about which distant land is so-gifted.
Deconstructed in one of the Montgomery Chronicles books by Jude Deveraux: a minor character has a huge penis, but has a lousy sex life because not even the most experienced professionals will want to risk themselves handling that. Being given for him to rape is used as a sadistic threat against the female protagonist.
Subverted in Fool by Christopher Moore. The main character's apprentice, Drool, sports a Gag Penis. Several women comment that they wouldn't shag him even if he wasn't mentally retarded, as they wouldn't be able to sit down for a week. The only woman who can ride Drool without any problems is a ghost.
On the other hand, Drool, despite being dangerously retarded, IS considered great in bed when a woman finally lays with him. The ghost (who rode him and did all the work) spends most of the book chasing Drool, and the two women tricked into sex with him love it, even if they are sore afterwards. So it's more a Double Subversion.
Deconstructed in Graham Swift's Waterland. One character's too big for sex.
At one point, John mentions having "dick-whipped" a group of guys he'd gotten into a fight with, and David (who knows John's probably lying anyway) casually wonders if John meant that he'd whipped them in the dick or with his dick.
Another character, Jim (who is notoriously ethical and honest) responds to John thusly: “Every man is blessed with his gifts from the Lord. One of mine happens to be a penis large enough that, if it had a penis of its own, my penis’ penis would be larger than your penis.”
This is standard procedure for romance novel heroes.
Mentioned in the Men at Arms, about dwarves. It's never confirmed whether it's true or not and the only (nonhuman) dwarf that asks about it keeps mistaking it for being well endowed with money.
One of Anthony Pryor's stories from The Wulf Archives has Wulf's partner comment approvingly on how big his equipment is. Wulf's narration notes: "it's really not that big, but then again what man doesn't like to hear that?"
Deconstructed in the 13th century Brennu-Njáls saga. Although this is bowdlerised in some translations, the exact nature of the curse that the Norwegian Queen Mother places on Hrútr Herjólfsson is that he becomes so large when sexually aroused that it is impossible for him to have intercourse with his wife. This ends in a divorce.
Paul Gillette's roman a clef Carmela goes on and on and on about this. It's about opera singers, so the catch phrase is "Is it true that the deeper a man's voice, the bigger his manhood?" Basso Emilio Mosso (partly based on Ezio Pinza) repeatedly proves that Dio mio, e vero, e vero! That is, until he finds out later in life that he has prostate cancer and needs surgery. He's so afraid they're going to cut it off that he refuses surgery and dies.
Coupling's Patrick Maitlan had a sex toy molded after him coming in at about ten inches.
Subverted in an episode of Sex and the City. Samantha hooks up with a guy who warns her that he has an enormous penis. She is excited at first... until she sees it. When they do have sex, it turns out that it's too huge for her to take.
In another, she meets a man who is the model for the second-most successful sex toy in the United States (#1 in Canada). It turns out that he's tired of women only seeing him as a walking penis, and tries to impress her with his poetry. She's not interested in his poetry.
Played straight in another, when she is in a steady relationship with a guy whose "equipment" isn't up to her standards, so the relationship ends up being very chaste. She tells her friends both of them have reached an unspoken agreement: he doesn't complain about the lack of sex, and she doesn't mention his below-average penis. Naturally, this turns out not to be the case. He takes her to a couple's counselor, where Samantha finally spits out her problem with him. The guy gets offended and leaves, while she just shrugs.
In a deleted scene from the Torchwood episode "Meat", in which the romantic rivalry between Jack and Rhys over Gwen comes to a climax, Ianto comments that he "half-expected [them] to get out the measuring tape." Jack, being Jack, apparently makes his straitlaced sort-of boyfriend, er, make his own estimate (which, by the way, might explain the "measuring tapes never lie" at the end of "Adam").
In an episode of Rome, Atia sends Servilia the gift of a slave with a gigantic dick. Yes, we see all of it.
Atia: A large penis is always welcome.
The MTV series The Hard Times of RJ Berger focuses on the class punching bag. One day, he gets pantsed during an assembly, and his underwear falls down in the process, granting the whole school an eyeful of his large dick. Suddenly, his social life changes radically.
Averted in the J-drama Trick. Physics professor Ueda Jiro's oversized penis is frequently commented on, and although it once impressed another man, when it comes to women, it renders Ueda a virginal loser and the butt of jokes.
The fundamental premise of Hung is that the main character, being, well, hung (and thus being well hung), can get work as a high-class gigolo.
A substantial part of Ashton Kutcher's character on Two and a Half Men appears to be that he's free with his body, with good reason.
In How I Met Your Mother, Future!Ted tells his kids that he can't remember exactly how he got over his lingering jealousy after his amicable breakup with Robin and she started seeing an "Adonis" of a rebound boyfriend, but he's sure it was something "deep and meaningful, and not at all macho and petty." In truth when he confronted her about how their break-up was too civil she revealed that he was bigger, which took him a minute to understand she wasn't talking about height.
In another episode, Robin started dating a friend of Marshall's and Lily mentioned that in some "girl talk" she learned his friend had a small penis. Marshall was distraught over learning that their gossip went that specific (in the guys locker room it is mostly generic "I hit that!" kind of stuff), even in a Shout Out to Sex and the City and in general behaved as though the guy had cancer.
On Friends, Rachel finds Chandler naked and handcuffed in her boss' office, although the audience sees him in tighty whities. In any event, she needs him to stay there so her boss won't know she broke in. She bribes him by promising to be complementary in her description, making him "this generation's Milton Berle."
In a sketch of the Saturday Night Live episode hosted by Susan Dey, she played a judge in a courtroom scene where the defendant was supposedly well-endowed. Since this fact was important to the case, he was required to expose himself to the judge and jury. With the camera trained on Dey, the lawyers and the jury box, there is the sound of the defendant's fly being unzipped followed by the sound of his member hitting the table with a loud thump.
Implied in an episode of My Wife and Kids. Jaye paints a picture of her husband Michael in the style of Michelangelo's David; when it's unveiled at the art gallery, a woman gasps "Lordy, how do you find time to paint?!"
There's an episode of Las Vegas where the women of the casino come across a pamphlet advertising a male stripper who looks exactly like their co-worker Mike. The stripper has a famously large penis. All the women start treating Mike very, very well, until he figures out what's going on, arranges a show for them with the stripper and finally convinces them he's not moonlighting. Never has a man been so anxious to prove he doesn't have a large penis.
Rose from the Golden Girls was taught that the difference between boys and girls by her mother showing her a bull on the farm, which gave her a false impression about men and a surprise on her wedding night.
Rose: "Boy that bull would have been jealous."
On Spartacus: Blood and Sand, Ilithyia is unsure of which of the recruits to sponsor... so she has them strip, and immediately picks (as Varro describes him) "the one with the horse cock." This being Spartacus, we do see it, and it is impressive.
Dr. Harris: That man has the largest penis I have ever seen. I actually don't even know if he has mumps, forgot to look. I was distracted... by the largest penis I have ever seen.
The following season, we meet his wife Gayle...who is played by Christie Brinkley. Jerry isn't even close to being in her league. While personality really does go a long way (Jerry and Gayle are both really kind-hearted, wholesome Middle Americans), one gets the sense that Jerry's...skills...also help. After all, Chris (played by Rob Lowe), who met Gayle the previous season while dating their daughter (she takes after her mother), has this exchange at the Gergich Christmas party:
Ben: So Gayle and Jerry...
Chris: I've thought about it a lot, there's no logical explanation.
On Bones, in the Season 2 episode "Man in the Mansion," Brennan sleeps with Sully for the first time, and comes to work the next day looking VERY happy. It turns out that Sully's nickname 'Peanut' is in the grand tradition of nicknames like calling the big man Tiny...to the point where Sully doesn't even SHOWER with the other guys, presumably not to embarrass them.
Brennan: He's statistically outside the morphological norm.
When we first meet Vala Mal Doran in Stargate SG-1, in the eighth season episode "Prometheus Unbound", she captures Daniel Jackson and the newly-christened starship, the Prometheus. Having tied Daniel to a chair on the bridge, she straddles his legs whilst interrogating him for the access codes. When Daniel wonders why such a 'primitive ship' is of use and interest, she informs him that "in this case it's the size that matters." Following a beat and a downward lingering glance, she clarifies, "Actually, pretty much in every case".
In Almost Human Dorian possesses one, apparently, judging by John's reaction (subverted in that he hasn't "used it.")
The song 12 Inch by Niels De Vries is about a man with a 12 inch.
Dyslexic Speedreaders (Mickey Avalon, Dirt Nasty, and Andre Legacy): My Dick "is like supersize"; your dick "is like two fries." It gets better (or worse) from there.
In Mc Chris's album Dungeon Master of Ceremonies, there is a skit where this is Lamp Shaded (so to speak). MC Chris learns that Jesus has a 4-foot penis, and asks if it hurts the women he has sex with. Jesus responds that he "magically extends their cervix up to about their chest area".
When the ladies see the beast I got between my thighs They say "Perhaps today is a good day to die"
Then, there's Rodney Carrington's song, "12 inch dick, a dozen roses and a pickup truck." The song is a man singing about the three things he has that are going to make his woman happy tonight.
Butcher Pete by Roy Brown (part 1) (part 2) which was featured in Fallout 3, at first it sounds like a song about a Serial killer (fitting for the game) but if you pay attention you'll notice that it's actually about a Serial rapist (also fitting for the game) with a "long, sharp knife"
Amateur Transplants' "Titanic" subverts it:
"Suddenly you panic, my dick is titanic, you know it won't fit, it's too long You scream, you're sick, it's eight inches thick, and we try but it all goes so wrong..."
Adam Sandler's 7 Foot Man from the Stan and Judy's Kid album.
"My last girlfriend died because my peniiiiiisssss...IS SEVEN FOOT WIIIIIIIIIDE!"
Frank Zappa's Bwana Dik from the Live at the Filmore '71 Album.
"My dick is a monster. Give me your heart. Bwana Dik is a legend, enormous thou art!"
The appropriately named Ivor Biggun sings many songs about the attractiveness of men with large penises. "John Thomas Allcock" stands out by disclosing the dimensions of the member in question. The eponymous John is described as having a penis that measured 4 feet 6 inchesflaccid and consequently being irresistible to women.
"Iron Dick" by Coven is entirely devoted to this.
"Pulsating steel protrudes from my thighs She who spreads is she who dies Long as my arm, five times as thick You'll die at the end of my IRON DICK."
The obscene folk song "A Matlow Told Me" (also known as "The Fucking Machine") matches a "bloody great" mechanical penis with a (natural) vagina of analogous width. The result is decidedly not sexy.
The unrated version of the music video of Robin Thicke's song "Blurred Lines" features a topless blonde woman dancing in front of the words "Robin Thicke has a big dick". It's just about the most subtle thing in the video. Later, his wife (model Paula Patton) actually confirmed it.
Scott Steiner was well known for bragging about the size of his penis, and judging by all the women that followed him around, it did mean he was skilled in the sex department.
Val Venis always bragged about his penis and his skills in bed, which seemed to be true given the amount of semi-naked women that he usually hanged out with.
FATAL. Let's just say this trope affects your character sheet.
For all its various crimes, FATAL can actually avert this.
GURPS has a feature for males called "enhanced primary sexual characteristics".
In the Shadowrun game, a magician's astral body conforms to his or her "idealized self-image." This made for an amusing scene in the Shadowrun novel Burning Bright, when mage Kyle Teller appears to two female characters in his naked astral body. Comparison to rumors about male trolls, orks, and "even dwarfs" follow.
In Dungeons & Dragons' "Book of Erotic Fantasy" it is specifically averted. Your character's size has no impact at all on his sexual prowess. It also says a player can choose how big he is just like he can choose a character's eye color.
In the free hentai RPG Big Breasts Small Waist, the bigger a male character's...equipment is, the higher his Appearance stat is, and the more SEXP his partner gets from an encounter with him.
The Commedia dell'Arte thought that this was hysterical and actors often used comically large fake penises for simulated sex on stage.
Implied in Les Misérables. Thernadier's wife is annoyed because her husband "thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there."
In Fate/stay night, Rin actually freaks out when she sees Shirou naked. She was a virgin and extremely nervous (so was Shirou, for that matter); Saber and Sakura are admiring, but not shocked. Shiki, on the other hand, managed to impress even the relatively experienced Kohaku.
In Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, Mike Toreno, in one of his calls to C.J., makes mention of how Sweet is getting a new cellmate in prison, a guy known only as "Horse Cock Harry." We never do meet the guy, but while the "eight kilometers of cock" line is plainly an exaggeration on Toreno's part, it's made abundantly clear that Sweet is going to have a really bad time of it.
While not being a real dick in the game, there are chainsaw motors with a built on vibrator the size the chainsaw blade would have in sex shops.
In Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Tommy can find an enormous double-ended dildo in the VCPD showers, easily large enough to use as a melee weapon.
The conversation a male PC has in Neverwinter Nights 2 with that one demon in Jerro's Haven who questions your gender, and especially Neeshka's attempts to back you up.
The expansion pack, Mask of the Betrayer, has it's own example when the Spirit Eater asks Gann what Anya's father meant by him "taking stable" and ruining his daughter. Apparently, "hung like a horse" is not an adequate descriptor, at least according to Gann himself.
SE: Uh... is 'stable' a metaphor, or...?
Gann: In this case, it is literal. And I prefer the term 'harbor,' for my size and elegance are more ship that horse.
In Saints Row The Third, you have the sex appeal slider during character creation, which, in men's case, enlarges the size of their penis.
As well as gaining a 3 foot long purple dildo you can use as a melee weapon called "The Penetrator" after breaking Zimos out of the dungeon of a Bordello run by a rival gang.
Kinzie also has one behind some boxes in her hideout. Imagining her actually using it isn't too surprising when you realize how agoraphobic she is.
There is a little gem in Disgaea: Hour of Darkness where after killing a bunch of zombies, Laharl complains of the monotony of killing zombies by claiming
Aramis: You better stay alert. Or else, you'll be sorry.
Aramis: Check out that zombie.
Laharl: What about it?
Aramis: *sigh* Amateur. THAT is my masterpiece. The fists of a Dark Karate master... The legs of the fastest demon in the Netherworld... The brain of Mahogany, a famous sorcerer... The iron body of Hercules... And a horse wiener, all combined into one! The Netherworld's ultimate zombie!!
Laharl: What'd you say!?
Laharl: A horse wiener!? Now, THAT's dangerous! Guys, don't let your guard down!!
In Boy Meets Boy, Mikhael's "freakishly large" penis is supposedly the main reason why his and Harley's sex life is so good, which in turn seems to be one major reason why their relationship is so good. It's really best not to over-analyzethis comic.
Kyle from Juvenile Diversion is well endowed, which leads to some very enjoyable times for Jenny.
Peter of Peter Is The Wolf. Other than that one "feature", Peter is the runt of his pack; small for a human, let alone a werewolf. But he still keeps his girlfriend happy.
In his wolf form, it's the only thing that gets bigger, and he can hit himself in the face with it.
Ellen from Questionable Content brings up this trope due to being apparently worried about sex since her only experience was watching porn about guys with a case of this. Her boyfriend worries about what she'll think of his in comparison, and she tells him she's relieved since it looked painful.
Also, in one strip when Raven asks Dora about Marten's penis size, to shut her up Dora tells her "It's about the size of my forearm and fist, and just as dexterous." Raven then tries to diagram this on the coffee shop chalkboard to figure out how he fits it in his pants.
Appears in the NSFW webcomic Sexy Losers, where one of the main characters is a mother who lusts after her son. In one strip she sees that he has a huge penis, which he (unfortunately for her) didn't inherit from his father.
Jason from Something Positive may be both a use and subversion of this trope. One one hand, he was extremely popular with the ladies prior to his marriage, but, on the other hand, the only woman we've actually seen reacting to it onscreen responded with an expression of terror and the words "Uh, Jason? Could you please put that big...thing back in your pants? It hurts my pelvis to look at it." We don't see the appendage in question, so you have to use your imagination.
Richard of S.S.D.D was apparently named "Dick" for a very good reason. But then his girlfriend has an affair with a more modestly endowed guy because, to quote, "girls aren't hollow".
Rory from Teahouse, the youngest, shortest and most expensive of the courtesans because of his virginity, turns out to have an enormous penis, which persuades Lord Reed to become his exclusive client, despite the cost.
The erotic World of Warcraft fancomic Druids is about a male Tauren and a female Worgen, but then it goes a step further in an arc where she gets raped by a dragon.
Averted in Cheer, a good-natured porn webcomic. If hand measurements are anything to go by, the boy is packing something like 8-10 inches. While the girls certainly enjoy themselves (and him), they do need to take care. The smaller girl is actually brought to tears by the discomfort until they find a way to negate the extra length, and even the bigger one needs him to be "super-gentle" with "the last inch".
Occasionally pops up in Chakona Space, part of Garrek's popularity with vixens is suggested to be his "endowment". Leanna, being a genetically engineered (former) sex slave, is pretty large as well, no specifics but the only reason shi can look like a female is that hir penis is designed to retract into her pelvis. And speaking of genetically engineered sex slaves...
Sites like Literotica have a real problem with writers submitting stories where men have bizarrely proportioned genitals. Like a penis ten inches long and eight inches wide.
Artist nikoh combines this with Hermaphrodites and Naruto females, mostly Hinata. Averted by the Uke men, who are average in size.
Notably the author is retaining Suspension of Disbelief by disallowing impossible sex scenarios (aside from the fact they can still safely get erect) with Terry bruising his partner (though she enjoys the pain) and Chris performing mutual and assisted masturbating with his.
A great deal of transformation fetish stories involve people being able to "take" endowments that would be normally anatomically impossible, due to the virus/nanomachines/magic.
One story, by Nequ, deconstructed this trope, where a guy takes a pill that was supposed to give him a horse's stamina, but instead gives him a horse's endowment. Not only does this nearly kill him due to not being physiologically prepared for the transformation, leading to him blacking out, but it kills the woman he was having sex with. He's clearly traumatized by the incident.
A great deal of Furry Fandom works involve ridiculously large penises, commonly known as "hyper". It's not uncommon for, the penis to be larger than the entire rest of the owner. Notably, the characters with such are rarely shown actually having sex with their endowments; just the massive penis itself is what "engages" people's interests.
South Park, "Chinpokomon": In this episode, a bunch of Japanese businessmen are using the South Park universe's version of Pokémon in order to brainwash American kids into Japanese soldiers. When any of the adults get suspicious, they flatter the men by saying they have such big, American penises (combines with Gag Penis in that they use some rather comedic descriptive words), while their Japanese penises are so tiny. This tactic works every time, so it's up to the women to make the men realize what's going on. The episode itself has the main accomplice to the Japanese bigwig actually have a microscopic penis, so that he can reveal it to everyone and satiate their concerns.
The episode title is a Bilingual Bonus referring to this; "chinpo" is Japanese for "penis", and "chinpoko" is a diminutive. Thus, "Chinpokomon" literally means "[small] penis monsters".
There's another episode that starts with Cartman freaking out because the school posted the boys' penis sizes for everyone to see and insists that it's slander, making everyone measure and post their real sizes. (As it turns out, it's actually how much taller they've grown since last year.) Cartman tries to claim that he's over thirteen inches, but the guys don't buy it and force him to be measured, where it's revealed that he's the smallest boy in the school. And of course, the boys are all pre-pubescent.
The Boondocks: The Health Inspector and his 3 foot penis. There is no censor bar in the DVD version. And it leads straight to Prison Rape.
One episode features an assassination attempt on Brock Samson while he was in the shower. When his towel falls off, the assassins slowly break into applause.
There's an episode in the first season where he was interrupted in the middle of attempted sex with Molotov Cocktease. And it's shaped like a brick.
Billy Quizboy, changing from his squash clothes next to Monstroso, explained feeling quite inadequate as a man in comparison to the gigantic attorney.
After most of Phantom limbs limb's are removed in an explosion the Alchemist claimed to have found one "Limb"
Family Guy: Chris Griffin, to the chagrin of his father.
A running gag in Archer is that Cyril's is bigger than the titular super-spy's and leads to his "sex addiction." At one point, Cheryl and Pam hack into ISIS's health care records and find that Cyril was covered for a penis "ensmallment." After that, Pam hints there are 'a whole twelve reasons' why Lana is dating Cyril.
Lana: Not to mention your... other... qualities...
Archer: Oh, so he just gets a pass? Like Milton Berle?
In one episode of Sealab 2021, Quinn goes into a coma that causes a priapism. Debbie immediately sets out to marry the comatose body.
In an episode of The Simpsons, Homer secretly videotaped Ned Flanders for a video dating service after his wife passed away. One clip included Ned showering... and let's just say that there was a LOT of pixelation.
Another episode has Ned making a series of Bible story video releases. Among other characters, he has to play Adam, and needs an EXTRA-large fig leaf. Given Ned's natural modesty, it's pretty much certain that he's not just bragging...