Teeny Weenie

Because it's considered that Bigger Is Better in Bed, those men that have smaller genitalia are considered Acceptable Hard Luck Targets. This is almost always Played for Laughs, since Naked People Are Funny.

It is often implied that people with a small penis are Compensating for Something.

It is one of the few body image tropes that is Always Male.

Possibly one of the reasons that Male Frontal Nudity is not common, since Most Writers Are Male. This is mostly a Take Our Word for It trope. Can be a part of a Humiliation Conga or Shameful Strip. "It's cold in here!" may be invoked as a (Truth in Television) defense.

Inverse of Gag Penis. Contrast Biggus Dickus. A-Cup Angst could be considered a Distaff Counterpart of sorts.


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    Anime and Manga 
  • It is implied that 14-year-old Shinji has a small penis in Neon Genesis Evangelion. He runs out of the bathroom completely naked, having been scared by Misato's pet penguin while in the bath. As he runs out, his genitalia is covered by a small carton of toothpicks in the foreground. Misato asks him to "cover that up" and he quickly does so.
    • While deliberately low-res, the final battle of Rebuild of Evangelion 1.0 does give us a brief monochrome shot of a naked Shinji that confirms his equipment is indeed unremarkable.
  • Japan in Axis Powers Hetalia, according to Italy. In the Gag Dub, he says "... Japanese people grower, not shower."
  • Apparently, Takamura from Hajime No Ippo. It would certainly explain why he and the other boxers tease and bully Ippo, as well as his penchant for pranking people in the shower. (Which hilariously backfires when his victim is Takeshi Sendoh of all people.)
  • Kip McDowell of Green Blood. An entire arc is started after he kills a prostitute for calling him "cute."
  • As Sanageyama challenges Ryuko to a rematch despite his present lack of clothing in the sixth episode of Kill la Kill, Mako decides to take measurements. She does not find impressive results.
  • Invoked by Akira Takizawa in Eden of the East. It lets him get away with running around naked in front of the White House earlier that episode.
    • However, later in the episode, he claims it was due to the cold and his subsequent showing of it to a policewoman implies he has the opposite.
  • Masataka Takayanagi of Tenjho Tenge is confirmed to be this early in the series, which he is shown to be very self-conscious about.

     Comedy Albums 
  • Adam Sandler's album Shh... Don't Tell features the skit "The Boss and the Secretary," a five-minute-and-eight-second small penis joke. At one point, The Boss instructs The Secretary to tell him that his penis is bigger than objects such as a Tic-Tac and half a grape. When she says that it's bigger than "all of those things put together," he stops her and tells her to keep her exaggerations within the realm of reality.
  • Jim Gaffigan's "Mr. Universe" remarks on how Extenze has a foolproof business plan: In order for one to complain about their product's lack of effectiveness, one must admit to having a tiny penis.

    Comic Books 
  • The producer who takes over Cherry Comics in "Cherry Gets It in the End (And Mom Does Too!)" is portrayed as having a comically small penis.
  • There's one Underground Comics strip parodying ElfQuest. "Fluffer Nutter" lives with his family in the modern world, spends most of his time boozing and abuses his family. When Treestump's expy calls him out why he's so pissed despite being rich and famous, he shouts what the whole strip has been a build-up for, it seems: "I've got a teeny weeny pini!"
  • In the furry comic Cruelty, Tobias is said to be pretty small—even for a feline! Whether or not that's true is not confirmed.
  • In an 80's issue of Spider-Man, a supervillain called The Foreigner fights Spidey while gloating about dating Spidey's ex-girlfriend Black Cat. During the fight, we get this exchange.

    Foreigner: I'm disappointed Felicia [Black Cat] said you were formidable.
    Spider Man: Yeah? What else did she say about me?
    Foreigner: Oh, she made other comparisons between you and I. You came up a bit short, I'm afraid.

  • In the 2000 remake of Bedazzled, Brendan Fraser's character is transformed into a huge sexy basketball player... who has laughably small equipment.
  • Scary Movie
    Greg: A small dick's like a disability, man! Would you make fun of a guy in a wheelchair?! Huh? Where are you, you sick fuck?! I'll kick the shit outta you, all right?! It's not the size of the hammer, it's the nail you're throwing it at!
  • Girls Will Be Girls: Evie's son, which she mentions to prospective girlfriends.
  • The Swedish-made Penis Enlarger is a running gag in Austin Powers.
  • Tank Girl is captured by one of the W & P soldiers, who intends to force her to fellate him at gunpoint.
    Tank Girl: Well, okay. But I'm gonna need a microscope. And some tweezers.
  • Porky's has a team of boys out to get laid. It's no secret that their equipment comes in varying size, with this end being taken by Pee Wee.
  • Foxy Brown has the title character and a friend pose as High Class Call Girls to allow them to get upclose to a corrupt judge at a hotel sex party. After they strip him before sex, they immediately point and laugh at his genitals, asking him if there was a meat shortage. He laughs and plays along thinking this is all just part of the foreplay, until he's pushed out of the room naked into the hallway crowded with people, and they tell him to take his wet noodle somewhere else while they go find a real man to please them.
  • The central gag of the mostly-disdained Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star.
  • In No Holds Barred, a redneck wrestler mocks the miniscule manhoods of two of the Corrupt Corporate Executive's accomplices in the Bad-Guy Bar's bathroom.
  • The tragic events in Unforgiven began when Delilah, a prostitute, laughed at Quick Mike's small penis, which enraged the cowboy enough to cut her up. This sets off a whole chain of Disproportionate Retribution steps which ultimately end in bloodshed.
  • The main character's "tiny schmeckle" is a running gag in Click.
  • As part of MacGruber's marketing some nude photos were released showing his tiny member.
  • In the 2001 TV movie Wolf Girl, one of the bullies who has been tormenting the titular character (A sideshow freak) is glimpsed through a window as he stands naked in front of a full-length mirror. The trope applies: it's suggested that he could be a sideshow freak himself, by this measure alone.
  • In Another Gay Movie main character Jarod has a small penis. He finds an almost steampunk-looking penis enlarger in a friend's dad's bathroom and tries it out, resulting in a comically stretched out member.
  • Americas Sweethearts: Gwen mentions to Kiki that sex with Hector was great cause he's "hot, handsome and can go for hours" but that the only downside is that he has a very small penis although this isn't enough to stop her from falling for him and leaving her husband
  • This is the premise of the documentary Unhung Hero, wherein the star's ex-girlfriend rejected his marriage proposal on the grounds that his penis isn't big enough. The documentary itself strives to answer the question if size really matters, and the star goes on something of a journey of self-discovery and overcoming his insecurities.
  • This is why the detective tailing Deuce Bigalow is so insecure - or as he puts it:
    Detective Fowler: It's not too small, it's too thin, okay!? My dick is too thin! (Yelling) I got a thin dick!
    • And then subverted - turns out his wife was cheating because of his insecurity, not the source of his insecurity.
  • In American Reunion, Stifler compares his boss' penis to a "leprechaun's pinky".

  • A man was trying to come up with a computer password, so he typed in "mypenis". The password creation failed, saying "Error: too small"
  • A joke that involves knowing the name of a male member of your audience - let's use John Smith here:
    Three Irish midgets were sitting in a bar, trying to figure out a way to make money. The first said "I have small hands - I'll write to the Guinness Book of World Records and see if I have the smallest hands!" The second said "I have small feet - I'll write to the Guinness Book of World Records and see if I have the smallest feet!" The third said "I have a small penis - I'll write to the Guinness Book of World Records and see if I have the smallest penis!" So they all wrote in. A week later they all received letters and they gathered at the bar to open them together. The first opened up his envelope and pulled out a big check exclaiming "I have the smallest hands!" The second opened up his envelope and pulled out a big check exclaiming "I have the smallest feet!" The third opened up his envelope and pulled out a letter. As he read it he got more and more red-faced and finally exclaimed "WHO THE HELL IS JOHN SMITH????"
  • A man at a bar asks out a woman after buying her a few drinks. They go back to her apartment, start passionately making out, and fumble into the bedroom, which is completely dark. They tear off their clothes, and the man whips his penis out and puts it into the woman's hand. She replies "Thanks for the cigarette, but I don't smoke, before or after sex."
  • One good Stealth Insult is to claim a guy's member is so big, it goes from A to Z. Okay, now look at your keyboard...

  • Dancer from the Dance: Sutherland's small penis is mentioned a few times.
  • In Anne Lamott's Bird By Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life, she recommends that in order to avoid lawsuits when writing a Captain Ersatz of a real man who might want to sue, give the character a tiny penis and the real man will never step forward and claim that's him.
  • In Behaving Bradley, one character acquires the nickname "Microdick" after the boys have to strip for swim class in the locker room. Later on, innocent Brainless Beauty Hopie asks Bradley what the nickname means, and he tells her that it's because the boy in question wants to become a disc jockey and use a microphone. Hopie responds, "Oh. I thought it had something to do with his penis."
  • Played for tragedy in the gay romance Gottes Bodenpersonal ("God's ground crew"), where one of the main characters thinks he suffers from this. It is heavily implied that part of the sexual abuse in his childhood was convincing him that he should have been a girl. His partner tries to convince him that it's average, with limited success.
  • Sisterhood Series by Fern Michaels: John Chai in the book Vendetta, who is being used to represent Yellow Peril, is revealed to have this. Nikki and Alexis ask Yoko if it is true that Chinese men have a Teeny Weenie, and Yoko, giggling, confirms this.
  • The working title of Piers Anthony's Pornucopia was 3.97 Erect for a reason.
  • In Angry Lead Skies, when Garrett and his allies take some of the "silver elves" prisoner and remove their clothing to hinder them from escaping, the captured males are found to have extremely shrunken genitals, "like mummies". It's implied that the "silver elves" are aliens that reproduce by cloning, and restrict their reproductive systems' development to suppress sexual impulses which they consider atavistic.
  • While most of his male characters were well-hung, Sidney Sheldon liked to make his pitiful ones suffer from this—the cuckolded husband of Eve, Keith (in Master of the Game) is said to have one.
  • Howard Stern bemoans his small member throughout his books Private Parts and Miss America. In actuality, years later on his radio show, it was measured and turned out to be quite normal, just perspectively small compared to his 6"5' frame.
  • Stated of Conal by Robin in the Gaea Trilogy. She means it as a compliment.

    Live-Action TV 
  • Little Britain did the trope with big beefy nude bodybuilder suits with tiny genitalia.
  • Misfits: Kelly to Nathan, after getting him to proudly display for her it was actually a shapeshifter disguised as Kelly:
    I don't date men with tiny cocks.
  • In Seinfeld, George is embarrassed when a woman sees him nude after he has just come out of the pool, and there is some "shrinkage."
  • In an episode of Son Of The Beach where the characters were naked, the male lead had a much smaller Censor Box than The Ahnold.
  • Christopher Moltisanti in The Sopranos is revealed to have a small penis when the Paulie and Silvio stripsearch him for wires however Christopher is shown having a good sex life with his girlfriend at the time Adriana, his future wife Kelly and his mistress Julianna. No woman who gets involved with him seems to find his size a problem
  • In an episode of House, a woman took a naked photo of Chase at a party and posted it on Facebook. At first his crotch was pixellated, but later she uploaded an uncensored version, revealing this, apparently. The other characters, both male and female, teased him mercilessly for it, while Chase insisted the image had been doctored.
  • EastEnders: Sam Mitchell implies that Dennis Rickman her enemy who she once had a one night stand with has a small penis. She may be saying this to be insulting rather than cause its true but if it is true it doesn't appear to make a difference to Dennis who is very successful with women
  • Skins. Chris has a small penis. Tony and Cook are described this way by spurned girlfriends. Coincidentally or not these characters are the biggest womanizers on the show
  • Coronation Street unusually has a scene about this issue that isn't Played for Laughs. After Jamie and Leanne break up Janice makes jokes saying Leanne told her Jamie had a small penis (which she hadn't) but instead of being amused Leanne tells her off for her rudeness.
  • Tanya Turner in Footballers Wives says her womanizing husband Jason has a small penis
  • Miles in This Life according to Anna though this doesn't bother her half as much as his insensitive and obnoxious personality
  • In the Curb Your Enthusiasm episode "The Ski Lift", Larry meets a woman, Lisa, who says that she used to date his friend, Jeff, but broke up with him because he has a very small penis. When Larry tells Jeff about this, he denies having a small penis, and says that actually it's Lisa who has a huge vagina.
  • During an MTV Reality Dating Show, a man decides to show up his adventurous side by stripping and streaking at a beach during his date with a woman. In the post-date commentary, when asked for a song suggestion that should be played at that moment, she recommends "All The Small Things" by blink-182.
  • Married... with Children: One of Al's many shortcomings in the bedroom, at least by Peggy's standards.
  • Kenny vs. Spenny: One of Kenny's primary ways to annoy Spenny is to joke about his small penis. At perhaps the earliest possible opportunity the series provides, Spenny actually has a Doctor measure it and tell the camera that it's average. Spenny does not think rationally in the heat of competition.
  • One of many, many running gags on Bottom is Richie Richard's complete lack of endowment. It started off with the typical jokes, in the live shows, with repeated implications that he has to use a magnifying glass to find it.
  • In the 2 Broke Girls episode "And the Tip Slip", Caroline's father is worried that she will find out that his former aide's tell-all memoir claims he has a tiny penis. Averted when a photo on an iPhone proves otherwise.
  • A story arc in one season of Sex and the City dealt with Samantha's frustration that her otherwise-perfect boyfriend was underendowed, and her skittishness about how to tell him. It finally ended (along with the relationship) when she blurted it out during couples counseling.
  • On an episode of Degrassi, J.T. is revealed to have a small penis, or as Toby puts it, a stack of dimes. He's so insecure about it that he ends up using a penis pump.
  • The documentary My Penisand I follows filmmaker Lawrence Barraclough who despite being in a happy, long term relationship still has crippling insecurities for being cruelly bullied at school and University for having a small penis. Through facing up to his issues he eventually realizes his problems are more psychological and learns to be contented with himself. In the sequel My Penisand Everybody Elses he talks to another man with similar insecurities and tries to convince him that he needs to learn to be happy in himself and not worry about cruel bullies.
  • In Cases of the 1st Department, a serial rapist from the episode "Phantom from Southern Town" was reported to have a small penis. The team couldn't use line-up recognition because his photo leaked out in the media. He refused to confess to all of his crimes, so major Tomas Kozak had an idea to use the information against him. He told him they would measure it and release pictures to newspaper unless he confessed. He did.
  • In this newscast the female anchor says that her male colleague has a small penis.
  • In a Hale&Pace comedy sketch, two men meet. One is constantly bragging: his car, his yacht, yaddayadda...Voiceover at the end: "Guess which man has a small penis."

  • A one hit wonder artist known as Gillette did a song called Short Dick Man. It has a remix-Answer Song with a male singer named Machito Ponce where his parts were so dedicated to rebuff Gillete's "accusations" that it bounced back into Compensating for Something territory.
  • At the end of the Hollywood Undead video "Everywhere I Go", the chorus of which repeatedly mentions Charlie Scene's "weenie" and how he loves to show it off, Mr. Scene is actually shown whipping it out. Similar to his face in the opening of the video, it's censored with a drawing of his mask which appears to take up just enough space to cover up a nickel.
  • Slipped into the end of Kesha's "Thinking Of You," verbatim.
  • Bob Rivers recorded "Three Inch Tool", a parody of Hootie & the Blowfish's "Only Wanna Be With You".
  • The humor group "El Takititá" made a Spanish parody of the song "Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer", only that instead of the red nose the problem of Rodolfo was having a cheese-poof sized dick. Santa Claus helped with his problem by gifting Rodoldo a corncob to use as a replacement, but then Rodolfo engages in a passionate affair and the cob becomes popcorn.

    Stand-Up Comedy 
  • Bill Engvall has a segment about surfing. The instructor, a typical Surfer Dude, tells him "We'll have you hanging ten in no time." "Not without elective surgery. Because the word 'hung' has never been associated with Engvall men." Later on, he says that when he puts on the wet suit, it looks like he's trying to smuggle a Slim Jim and two cherries.

    Tabletop Games 

  • The Bible: The Complete Word of God (abridged) opens with the three players wearing nothing more than a fig leaf each. One of the fig leaves is noticeably smaller than the other two.
  • The play The Irish Curse dealt with a support group for the condition.
  • Madame Thenardier on her husband in her verse of "Master of the House": "Thinks he's quite a lover, but there's not much there!"

    Video Games 
  • In Conkers Bad Fur Day, Buga the Knut is defeated when he loses his Loin Cloth, exposing his "very small willy" and causing him to flee in shame.
  • Yaksa and Gaka in Shin Megami Tensei. Given how grotesque they are already, these are only really visible in artwork.
  • In Grand Theft Auto:Vice City the cutscene with the stolen police uniforms somewhat hints that Lance Vance is underdeveloped (at least in relation to Tommy).

  • In The Bare Pit, a male invites women over to his pool to skinny dip, while he's secretly recording them in order to upload the footage and sell it on the Internet. However the video is intercepted by someone else who splices the footage to remove all traces of the woman and leaves only the shots of him naked, and releases it over the Internet. The next day at school he's humiliated when not only is his reputation as a romantic playboy completely shot, he also has to deal with his new nickname "Inchworm."
  • Subverted by many webcomics by Humon, there are supernatural beings with rather tiny genitals who aren't at all worried about it - and there is a (human) guy who is rather ashamed that his is too big and hurt his girlfriend when they first tried vaginal intercourse.
  • In Mac Hall, Micah's ex-girlfriend posts something embarrassing about his penis in her blog. His current girlfriend Helen tries to console him by saying "I think it's cute." (It doesn't help.)
  • In Rabbitual Offender, they successfully subvert the trope as Charlie proudly struts around with his exposed tiny penis as if it was a giant GagPenis.
  • Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal:
  • Cuthwald of NSFW Comix, two and a half inches when erect, orders every penis enlargement remedy he's e-mailed on 4Chan, mixes them together in a bathtub, summarily drinks it all and becomes so large it exits the universe, kills God, and skull fucks the reader. It's back to being tiny again later.
  • According to Thor in this Brathalla, Balder has one.
    • Probably averted. In God olympics Balder dominated Swimwear Beauty Competition (True swimwear is nothing at all). Audience lost their tongues, some condoled Frigg about "Oedipus complex" and the Jury of Greek men gave him unanimous vote, despite all the bribes they took from opposition.
      • Or maybe NOT averted— the ancient Greek male beauty standard was a small penis.
  • Subverted in one Oglaf strip, when a woman is relieved that her partner has been lying about being a centaur, and really has a small-to-average sized human penis, instead of a large horses' penis.
    • It is complicated - he hasn't been lying. He's an actual centaur who can ... step out of his hindquarters and shoo them away. (At least the comic looks nothing like there's a person in a horse costume involved.)

    Western Animation 
  • South Park has done this a few times:
    • In one episode, Osama bin Laden is shown to have an absurdly microscopic penis.
    Cartman: So that's what this is all about!
    • "T.M.I." has the idea of compensating for a small penis as its entire premise. It turns out that all of the angry people in the world are just pissed off because they're below the average length. To fix the problem, the "average length" is shortened (although, ironically, Cartman still doesn't make the cut).
    • In an early Pokémon-centric episode, the Japanese creators keep talking about how small their penises are as opposed the well-endowed Americans. One woman calls them out on this, saying that they're only saying this to distract the male Americans. While this is true, one of the creators proves that he's not lying about the size of his penis, either. One of said creators also uses the "your penis so big" line on a woman, causing the other creator to smack him upside the head for the screw up.
    • In the episode "Ginger Cow", the appearance of a red cow leads to peace in the Middle East. To keep Cartman from revealing the truth that the cow is a fake and ruin everything, Kyle agrees to do whatever he asks. When Stan tries to maintain the charade by saying that it really was a miracle, a rabbi notes that the prophecy actually stated a fat child with a small penis would decorate a cow to look ginger, not that one would miraculously just fall from the sky. As everyone is ready to return to fighting, Kyle tells them that the prophecy really was fulfilled. When he tries to get Cartman to back him up, Cartman says he can't lie: he has a huge dick.
  • Robot Chicken
    • One sketch had two people standing in a hallway. The woman pulls a hotdog out of a bun and throws it at the door at the end.
      Woman: Do ya see the problem here?
      Man: Yeah, that hallway is like bizarrely huge.
    • The Nerd gets knocked out and stripped naked. Everybody makes fun of his tiny penis.
    • Zorak talks to a woman about Big Jim and his Ironic Nickname.
  • In the Beavis and Butt-Head episode "Sporting Goods," the duo tried to buy protective cups, but the smallest ones were still too big. The sporting goods owner gave them a couple of racquetball eyepatches for free, which fit them perfectly. Daria walked in, saw them walking out of the dressing rooms wearing the patches, did a double take, and snapped a photo for the school newspaper.
    Daria: Wow! Even smaller than I thought!
  • In the Futurama episode "Benderama", the crew has to deliver personal hygiene supplies to an ugly giant. He is 50 feet tall, and while most of his body parts are enormous, one part...isn't.
    Amy: Colossal tooth whitener, mega deodorant, humungous acne cream...awwww...and one regular size condom.
    Bender: All that and a small weiner? This guy's got it goin' on!
    • When Fry enters the same nude sauna as Leela and Amy he apparently doesn't measure up to 30th century standards.
      Amy: Check out life before genetic engineering.
      [Fry crosses his legs]

  • Steroid abuse by bodybuilders will invariantly lead to this trope (and if not in Real Life, then at least in countless jokes).