Teeny Weenie

"It was still big enough to impress Your Mom last week!"

"What a fuss about such a little thing!"

— Nurse Helen Lloyd,^note referring to a male finicky patient refusing to be helped during disrobing, Carry On Nurse

Because it's considered that Bigger Is Better in Bed, those men that have smaller genitalia are considered Acceptable Targets, due to the implication that a small penis makes one an unsatisfying lover. This is almost always Played for Laughs, since Naked People Are Funny.

Compensating for Something is the related trope where an afflicted man owns a very large car (or boat, or fountain, etc.) so that he's got something large to show off. Lousy Lovers Are Losers can apply if the small penis is actually one of the reasons why someone is considered bad in bed.

It is one of the few body image tropes that is Always Male.

A popular retort is the claim that it was big enough for yo mama last night.

Possibly one of the reasons that Male Frontal Nudity is not common, since Most Writers Are Male. This is mostly a Take Our Word for It or Informed Attribute trope, although sometimes a Gag Censor can be used to illustrate the trope. Can be a part of a Humiliation Conga, Naked Freak-Out, Pants-Pulling Prank, or Shameful Strip. "It's cold in here!" may be invoked as a (Truth in Television) defense.

Subtrope of Appearance Angst. Inverse of Gag Penis. Contrast Bigger Is Better in Bed and Big Prick, Big Problems. A-Cup Angst could be considered a Distaff Counterpart of sorts.

noreallife

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Examples:

Anime & Manga

• Beastars: While at first Zaguan was believed to have a Gag Penis due to how big the speech bubbles that were being used to censor his lower half were. However, a later chapter where he strips off his clothes on a beach shows that he might actually have a micropenis as the speech bubble barely goes past his stomach, (as seen by the wiki link on the Gag Penis page).
• In Volume 3 of Bottom-tier Character Tomozaki, Tomozaki zings Nakamura in the onsen for having a tiny dick (and this after the boys have noticed that Tomozaki himself is packing something big). Nakamura manages to keep some of his dignity when he snarks back that unlike Tomozaki, at least he's gotten laid before.
• In the very first episode of A Bridge to the Starry Skies, Kazuma is seen naked by both Tsugumi and Senka after a mishap in the bathroom and later Senka teases him about his size.
• In the second episode of Dragonaut: The Resonance Jin wakes up naked in a room wearing only a sheet, that falls to the floor soon after Sieglinde enters the room prompting her to make a crack about him being a "Little man".
• Invoked by Akira Takizawa in Eden of the East. It lets him get away with running around naked in front of the White House earlier that episode. However, later in the episode, he claims it was due to the cold and his subsequent showing of it to a policewoman implies he has the opposite.
• In Gate, a random man thinks Yao Haa Dushi is a prostitute and tries to proposition her. She looks at his crotch and says his equipment looks so small that she doubts they would be able to do it. He runs away crying, and the bystanders all feel sorry for him.
• Kip McDowell of Green Blood. An entire arc is started after he kills a prostitute for calling him "cute."
• In GTO: The Early Years, one chapter has Eikichi and Ryuji going to a public bath where their rivals are. One thing leads to another and everyone starts comparing their "turtles". Eikichi is embarrassed/angry over the fact that he only has a "baby turtle" and Kamata is even smaller. Whether this is still true by the time they grows up is anyone's guess.
  • Made even more hilarious by the fact there's an old man (who is also "baby-turtled") there who keeps trying to tell them that size doesn't matter and is repeatedly ignored.
• Takamura from Hajime no Ippo subverts the trope as he's strongly implied to be this, which would be the reason why he pranks and bullies Ippo who goes to the other way... but judging by his therapy session with Yamaguchi hundreds of chapters later, Takamura's size actually seems fairly average and maybe even on the bigger side; however, he's still apparently nothing compared to Ippo, and he instantly gets both insecure and enraged whenever Ippo gets positive attention from women.
• Japan in Hetalia: Axis Powers, according to Italy. In the Gag Dub, he says "... Japanese people grower, not shower."
• In Interspecies Reviewers, Kanchal has one of these. Granted, he's a halfling, so his "equipment" is probably on par with those of other male halflings, but he still has the smallest one of the Reviewers. Case in point, when the group went to the Fairy Brothel, he is told point-blank by the receptionist that every single girl at the establishment can handle him despite their strict size limits.
• Kill la Kill: A Zig-Zagging Trope with Sanageyama. On the one hand, Word of God states he has this trope and Mako seems to back this up, as when he suffers Clothing Damage she stares at his crotch and holds her index and thumb very close together, as seen here◊. On the other hand, the objects used to cover Male Frontal Nudity, such as big spike on Ryuko’s left shoulder in the aforementioned Clothing Damage incident and his own sword in another Clothing Damage incident when smaller objects could have been used, implies that he is well-endowed.
• On Linebarrels of Iron, Koichi has one according to Yui, after accidentally seeing him naked in episode 5.
• Keitaro from Love Hina is so ridiculously underdeveloped in that regard that when one of the girls saw him naked, she admitted that she wasn't freaked out.
• Lupin III: An Implied Trope for either Lupin or Zenginata in the manga. In it, the police believe they have finally caught the titular Lupin, but it is unknown whether it is actually him or if he swapped places with Zenginata as Lupin is both crafty and an extremely good Master of Disguise. The first panel shows a police officer coming up behind a detective, whose upper face is blocked by his own speech bubble, to report that their strip search has found nothing on the prisoner, with the detective seeing an opening makes a crack at him by saying “Well, there is one little thing.” The next two panels have the detective laughing uncontrollably while the naked prisoner tries to use the old “it’s cold in here” defense even adding a “very cold” for emphasis.
• Naruto: An Invoked Trope when Naruto Uzumaki comments on the quality of his paintings, saying they're "nothing special", Sai retaliates by saying: "just like what's between your legs". However, it should be noted that at that point Sai had never seen Naruto naked at that point, with the first he actually sees him nude is in a later episode when the pair enjoys a soak in a hot spring together with Yamato.
• In Negima! Magister Negi Magi, Evangeline sees Negi naked, looks down, and makes fun of his size. Of course, Negi is only ten years old. Makie also mentions that Negi is an "adult in every area except this one" when she peeks under his towel.
• Neon Genesis Evangelion: One of the many ways the writers torture Shinji is to constantly mock his size, with even the animals like Pen Pen the Penguin doing it, which is later authenticated with Male Frontal Nudity thus confirming all the implications.
  • Neon Genesis Evangelion: The animators, on the other hand, seem to like or feel sorry for Shinji, and as such invert this trope. This is implied based on the objects, being a big metal can and a big jar of toothpicks, used to prevent the viewer from seeing Male Frontal Nudity, which can be seen in both the video examples below and here◊ as well. Based on the size of the object, Shinji is implied to have a Gag Penis and still be above average when he suffers from shrinkage due to standing naked at the bathroom doorway in a possibly cold environment.
• In Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt, Panty can transform underwear into guns. For men's underwear, the size of the gun depends on the owner's girth (or lack thereof)—in one episode, when she needs a gun to fight a Ghost because hers isn't working, she gathers a large amount of underwear from male high school students and is frustrated to find out they're all tiny pistols. Then in a hilarious subversion, Briefs is packing a Shotgun.
• Masataka Takayanagi of Tenjho Tenge is confirmed to be this early in the series, which he is shown to be very self-conscious about.
• Uzaki-chan Wants to Hang Out!: Implied to be the case for Hana's brother Kiri. When he runs into a naked Shinichi in the gym's showers, the sight of his member leaves the kid despondent, and he later asks his father if the gym offers "dick training" (which of course his dad tells him doesn't exist).
• Yujita of Vixens/Visionary has one so small that it reminds the girl he tries to sleep with of her little brother....who is in kindergarten. This leads to her (and his Jerkass friends) calling him Mr. Kindergarten. Ironically, it's later revealed the friend who gave him the name has an even smaller one than he does, much to Yujita's surprise and amusement.
  Yujita: What the hell? You're the kindergartner!

Comedy

• Bill Engvall has a segment about surfing. The instructor, a typical Surfer Dude who goes by "Digger," tells him "We'll have you hanging ten in no time." "Not without elective surgery, you're not, Digger. Because the word 'hung' has never been associated with Engvall men." Later on, he says that when he puts on the wet suit, it looks like he's trying to smuggle a Slim Jim and two cherries.
• Jim Gaffigan's "Mr. Universe" remarks on how Extenze has a foolproof business plan: In order for one to complain about their product's lack of effectiveness, one must admit to having a tiny penis.
• Hale&Pace:
  • In a comedy sketch, two men meet. One is constantly bragging: his car, his yacht, yaddayadda...Voiceover at the end: "Guess which man has a small penis."
  • Yet another sketch: "Heavy Metal Morris Band" "I like my love stick, it isn't very long-ee-o..."
• Adam Sandler's album Shh... Don't Tell features the skit "The Boss and the Secretary," a five-minute-and-eight-second small penis joke. At one point, The Boss instructs The Secretary to tell him that his penis is bigger than objects such as a Tic-Tac and half a grape. When she says that it's bigger than "all of those things put together," he stops her and tells her to keep her exaggerations within the realm of reality.

Comic Books

• The producer who takes over Cherry Comics in "Cherry Gets It in the End (And Mom Does Too!)" is portrayed as having a comically small penis. The same applies to the first black man he hires to replace the boy Cherry was going to fellate in the same story.
• In the furry comic Cruelty, Tobias is said to be pretty small—even for a feline! Whether or not that's true is not confirmed.
• The DCU:
  • During Rachel Pollack's run on Doom Patrol, a man who is continually frustrated with the idea that he has a small penis eventually builds a Phallic Weapon for himself and goes out committing crimes as the villain known as Codpiece, only to subsequently suffer a humiliating defeat at the hands of Coagula.
  • Near the end of Preacher's first story arc, Sheriff Root's wife finally leaves him and leaves behind a scathing breakup letter that ends with "PS: I lied. Three inches is below average."
• Marvel Universe:
  • In an 80's issue of Spider-Man, a supervillain called The Foreigner fights Spidey while gloating about dating Spidey's ex-girlfriend Black Cat. During the fight, we get this exchange.
    Foreigner: I'm disappointed Felicia [Black Cat] said you were formidable.
    Spider-Man: Yeah? What else did she say about me?
    Foreigner: Oh, she made other comparisons between you and I. You came up a bit short, I'm afraid.
• In Ninja High School, Yama-san believes his nephew, Sammy, has one and assumes that's why he was so flustered by his uncle playfully pinching his crotch. In reality, it was because his "nephew" is actually his niece.
• Red Ears: One strip has a bodybuilder showing off to a date, telling her to look at all that dynamite he's carrying around. She asks if he isn't worried about all that dynamite having so short a fuse.
• There's one Underground Comics strip parodying ElfQuest. "Fluffer Nutter" lives with his family in the modern world, spends most of his time boozing and abuses his family. When Treestump's expy calls him out why he's so pissed despite being rich and famous, he shouts what the whole strip has been a build-up for, it seems: "I've got a teeny weeny pini!"
• In The Unfunnies, Pussywhisker is shown to have a very small penis when the fur covering his lower half is pulled down like pants to prepare for the surgical removal of his testicles after he is manipulated into believing he has testicular cancer.

Fanfiction

• In general just as fanfic will do the opposite trope Bigger Is Better in Bed to the main characters, characters the author doesn't like (Ron the Death Eater especially) will be given this trope and mocked for it.
• According to Luz in the Danny Phantom/Saints Row fanfic crossover Saintly Phantom, Angelo suffers from a case of "Micro Penis" so bad that the only way he could get with a girl is if he forced her to marry him (which he did, to her specifically).
• Firefly:
  • Voyeurs, Mal is getting watched during the episode “Trash” where he’s left naked in the desert. Kaylee asks why a certain body part of Mal’s is small. Simon replies with medical info-he’s out in the air and “it” is reacting to the cold. River jumps in and confirms it’ll get bigger again when warmed up. This is a reference to her watching people “fornicate” as the movie showed and fans made memes of.
  • in “Current of Small Things” Zoe catches Wash taking a pee outside while the ship is on the ground, before they’re an item. She says she could have killed him because he wasn’t watching his surroundings and he says it might be embarrassing because it’s so cold. Later, he starts talking about how she hopefully didn’t see anything, but if she did, he has to remind her that it was freezing cold outside and asks if she could please be kind to him in her memoirs. In other words, it seems to hint that Wash is afraid Zoe thinks he has a small penis.
• Tiaa says this about Dirty Old Man Uncle Larry in Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen.
  Tiaa: The pain was great even though his manhood was small.
• In the Harry Potter fanfic The Power of Seven, Pansy Parkinson is shocked when Susan Bones comments that Draco Malfoy has a small penis as Pansy wonders how Susan found that out, when in reality Susan was just teasing Pansy to imply that she was jealous about Susan's own relationship with Harry and she really had no idea about Draco's size.
• RWBY fanfic Vale's Underground: Cinder says that this is the reason Hei Xiong goes by the name "Junior" in this story. She still has sex with him because his muscular build is perfect for manhandling her, but she still knows he's insecure about it. She even mocks him for it while having sex with him to make him angrier (and presumably to get him to rough her up more). However, Cinder is pretty much the only person willing to overlook it as Little Miss notes.
• It's implied that Superman suffers from this in We Love Our Two Dads due to the fact that he's embarrassed by his "Smallville" nickname and immediately makes up a paper-thin excuse to leave when Conner innocently asks if the "Smallville" nickname means he has a small penis. But then again, Clark may just not like the nickname and subsequently left because Conner's question was very personal.
• Principal Skinner is already implied to be an example of this in "Bart Gets A 'Z'" (see the Western Animation folder below), but I Hope You're Prepared For An Unforgettable Wedding! gives its exact length as "a mere three inches" when erect. Fortunately, his boss-turned-boyfriend Superintendent Chalmers doesn't mind its length (or lack thereof), and even finds it endearing.
• Vow of Nudity: Petrichor's 'size' gets insulted by multiple characters. Notably, when he rapes Haara upon their reunion, he completely fails to notice she had the Piscine Stone hidden in her vagina at the time!
• In A Pack of her Own, after Rhaegar cheats on his wife Elia with Lyanna, her brother Oberyn gets revenge by making up a song about him called "The Dragon's Tiny Sword" and spreading it throughout Dorne.

Films — Animation

• A brief joke in NIMONA (2023) implies this about Jerk Jock bully Todd— when crashing through the insitute as a whale, Nimona catches him apparently nude in the shower room, admiring his own biceps. Her eye flicks downward and she teases "Cold in here?", to which he covers himself with his hands. Touches of Compensating for Something, too, as he later claims that one of the only things he wants in the world is to "have a really big sword".
• Ratatouille: When Linguini tries to confess to Colette about Rémy (until Rémy forces him to kiss her) he says something along the lines of "I have a tiny... uh, little...". Cue Colette briefly glancing down, as though she thought he was referring to a different dirty little secret.
• This trope is taken up to eleven with Sausage Party's Barry, who really is a Teeny Weenie. He was the original page image.
• An adult joke from Shrek had the main character say that the Big Bad was Compensating for Something upon seeing his huge castle.

Films — Live-Action

• A major plot point in the caper film/comedy 9 Dead Gay Guys. After learning that a prominent member of the homosexual community was murdered with a cattle prod, one of the protagonists comes home with a cattle prod he found while performing sexual favors for booze money. Since the room he was in was pitch black, he could only identify the owner by the size of his penis: three and a half inches.
• American Pie:
  • In American Reunion, Stifler compares his boss' penis to a "leprechaun's pinky".
  • Implied in Band Camp, during a Strip Trivia game against four coeds the main character Matt brags about the large size of his manhood as he strips nude after losing the game. Upon seeing his naked body, however, the women all erupt in giggling and are clearly unimpressed. After he leaves the room Matt is then seen trying to fluff himself up in the restroom before he re-enters blaming it on the cold.
• America's Sweethearts: Gwen mentions to Kiki that sex with Hector was great cause he's "hot, handsome and can go for hours" but that the only downside is that he has a very small penis although this isn't enough to stop her from falling for him and leaving her husband.
• One of the villains of Among The Living 2022 turns out to be a child with some kind of bizarre disorder that has made it so that his body has prematurely aged into an adult one... with the exception of his penis, which is still child-sized.
• Anger Management: The beginning of the movie shows a teenaged Dave Buznik being pantsed by a bully in front of his crush. Everyone in the entire neighborhood, including the crush and the neighbors, laugh at Dave's "cocktail frank". This haunts Dave in adulthood, especially since his girlfriend's ex-boyfriend-and-current-best-friend turns out to have a big dick.
• In Another Gay Movie main character Jarod has a small penis. He finds an almost steampunk-looking penis enlarger in a friend's dad's bathroom and tries it out, resulting in a comically stretched out member.
• The Swedish-made Penis Enlarger is a running gag in Austin Powers.
• In Bedazzled (2000), Brendan Fraser's character is transformed into a huge sexy basketball player... who has laughably small equipment.
  Allison: Oh God I just remembered there's just this teeny, tiny thing...
  Elliot: What's teeny?!
• In Black Dynamite this actually serves as part of the main villain's plot to make a liquor black men love to drink but has the side effect of making their equipment extra small, so all other men are huge by comparison.
• The central gag of the mostly-disdained Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star. Bucky is recruited as a porn actor because his genitals are so undersized that the producers of his films figure any man who watches them will feel less embarrassed about his own equipment. When Bucky finally sleeps with his love interest, he uses a wrapper from a drinking straw as a condom.
• One of the most famous moments from Carry On Nurse revolves around an implication towards this joke. When two nurses help an embarrassed Bernie the boxer put on his pyjamas, he squirms and claims that he can do it himself, despite having a bandaged hand. What was one of the nurses' response? "What a fuss over such a little thing!" An-already ashamed Bernie gives in and lets the two women continue undressing him. Maybe that's why he's a boxer...
• The main character's "tiny schmeckle" is a running gag in Click.
• This is why the detective tailing Deuce Bigalow is so insecure — or as he puts it:
  Detective Fowler: It's not too small, it's too thin, okay!? My dick is too thin! [yelling] I got a thin dick!
  • And then subverted — his wife was cheating because he was so obsessed over this trope that he wasn't paying her any attention.
• The plot of the softcore horror-comedy Dickshark is kicked off when a major character uses an experimental penis enlargement cream.
• Fake Fruit Factory: The all-female workforce at the factory commiserate with one of their own, whose boyfriend/husband apparently has a less-than-impressive member.
  "But he is made too small!"
  "It doesn't matter. So his sausage is little."
  "You say he has a funny little sausage?"
  "Yeah, he could pass for a pig."
  "It isn't even round! It's flat!"
• Foxy Brown has the title character and a friend pose as High Class Call Girls to allow them to get up close to a corrupt judge at a hotel sex party. After they strip him before sex, they immediately point and laugh at his genitals, asking him if there was a meat shortage. He laughs and plays along thinking this is all just part of the foreplay until he's pushed out of the room naked into the hallway crowded with people, and they tell him to take his wet noodle somewhere else while they go find a real man to please them.
• The German Sex Comedy The Fruit Is Ripe has a scene in which the main character hops in a bathtub with a man and eventually notices how tiny he is down below. She laughs and says, "It's a mini" and he tries to explain it's due to the cold water, but she doesn't seem to believe him. Surprisingly, this is a rare non-porn example of the member itself being shown onscreen, so Take Our Word for It is averted.
• Girls Will Be Girls: Evie's son, which she mentions to prospective girlfriends.
• Roman emperor Dickus Minimus from the porn spoof Gladiator Eroticus. At one point he lifts up his toga shouting, "See how the gods have cursed me!" His praetorian guard all piss themselves laughing.
• The Guard: Gerry (perhaps jokingly) says his penis is very small before having sex with two prostitutes.
• As part of MacGruber's marketing, some nude photos were released showing his tiny member.
• Maid in Manhattan. After a hotel guest "accidentally" exposes himself to maids Marissa and Stephanie—"I had no idea anyone was here!", they reassure him, "It's no big deal."
• On the Buses films:
  • In Mutiny on the Buses, Arthur takes great offense to the idea that he has "shriveled up" with age.
  • Also implied with Arthur in this cutting remark from Olive in Holiday on the Buses:
    Arthur: I borrowed them off of the Inspector. It might have escaped your notice that he 'appens to be rather bigger than me.
    Olive: Everyone's bigger than you.
• In No Holds Barred, a redneck wrestler (played by Stan Hansen) mocks the minuscule manhoods of two of the Corrupt Corporate Executive's accomplices in the Bad Guy Bar's bathroom.
• In the somewhat obscure Australian movie One Night Stand, four teens hide out in a theater while a nuclear holocaust happens outside. They decide to play strip poker at one point, resulting in all the kids in their underwear. One boy loses his briefs and, from the girls' reaction, came up a little short.
• Outrageous Fortune: The Big Bad fakes his death, and the protagonists (both of whom had been sleeping with him) examine the body in the morgue, and realize that it couldn't be his, with one describing the deceased as "needle dick, the bug fucker."
• Porky's has a team of boys out to get laid. It's no secret that their equipment comes in varying size, with this end being taken by Pee Wee.
• Scary Movie: The killer trolls Greg by sticking an image of his micro-penis to his gym locker with the words "I Know!".
  Greg: A small dick's like a disability, man! Would you make fun of a guy in a wheelchair?! Huh? Where are you, you sick fuck?! I'll kick the shit outta you, all right?! It's not the size of the hammer, it's the nail you're throwing it at!
• In Tango & Cash, the protagonists are in a prison shower together. Cash notices Tango's manhood doesn't quite measure up and takes to calling him "Pee-Wee".
• Tank Girl is captured by one of the W & P soldiers, who intends to force her to perform oral sex on him at gunpoint.
  Tank Girl: Well, okay. But I'm gonna need a microscope. And some tweezers.
• Simon confesses to this in True Lies when Harry & Gib interrogate him about his boasting to Helen of being a secret agent.
• When a nervous Chris turns down Nurse Catty's offer to undress him in Twice Round The Daffodils, boorish John remarks that he "Shouldn't have thought he'd have much to hide".
• The tragic events in Unforgiven began when Delilah, a prostitute, laughed at Quick Mike's small penis, which enraged the cowboy enough to cut her up. This sets off a whole chain of Disproportionate Retribution steps which ultimately end in bloodshed.
• This is the premise of the documentary Unhung Hero, wherein the star's ex-girlfriend rejected his marriage proposal on the grounds that his penis isn't big enough. The documentary itself strives to answer the question if size really matters, and the star goes on something of a journey of self-discovery and overcoming his insecurities.
• Virgin Territory: One of the bandits is very small, and mocked for it roundly.
• In the 2001 TV movie Wolf Girl, one of the bullies who has been tormenting the titular character (A sideshow freak) is glimpsed through a window as he stands naked in front of a full-length mirror. The trope applies: it's suggested that he could be a sideshow freak himself, by this measure alone.

Jokes

• A man was trying to come up with a computer password, so he typed in "mypenis". The password creation failed, saying "Error: too small".
• A joke that involves knowing the name of a male member of your audience - let's use John Smith here:
  Three Irish midgets were sitting in a bar, trying to figure out a way to make money. The first said, "I have small hands - I'll write to the Guinness Book of World Records and see if I have the smallest hands!" The second said, "I have small feet - I'll write to the Guinness Book of World Records and see if I have the smallest feet!" The third said, "I have a small penis - I'll write to the Guinness Book of World Records and see if I have the smallest penis!" So they all wrote in. A week later they all received letters and they gathered at the bar to open them together. The first opened up his envelope and pulled out a big check exclaiming "I have the smallest hands!" The second opened up his envelope and pulled out a big check exclaiming "I have the smallest feet!" The third opened up his envelope and pulled out a letter. As he read it he got more and more red-faced and finally exclaimed "WHO THE HELL IS JOHN SMITH????"
• A man at a bar asks out a woman after buying her a few drinks. They go back to her apartment, start passionately making out, and fumble into the bedroom, which is completely dark. They tear off their clothes, and the man whips his penis out and puts it into the woman's hand. She replies "Thanks for the cigarette, but I don't smoke, before or after sex."
• One good Stealth Insult is to claim a guy's member is so big, it goes from A to Z. Okay, now look at your keyboard...^note Of course, this assumes a standard QWERTY keyboard.
• One dirty joke involving aliens: there was an Earth couple and an alien couple (both straight) and they decided to swap partners and have sex to see what it was like. The human woman is disappointed because the alien man's penis is very short and narrow, but he slaps his forehead to make it longer and pulls his ears to make it wider. When they get their partners back, the human woman asks her boyfriend what it was like having sex with the alien woman. He says that it was fine but she kept slapping his forehead and pulling his ears.
• One joke involves a sex specialist who only takes patients he considers within his help. He's seen taking on a new pair of patients and telling them to try a foreplay activity involving fitting grapes into the wife's vagina and putting donuts around the husband's erect penis. The trick works, and the couple soon recommends the specialist to married friends of theirs. The specialist unfortunately tells the second couple he can't help them. The second couple insists upon at least trying whatever worked for their friends, and the specialist tells them to purchase a bag of oranges for the wife, and a package of [name a loop-shaped cereal] for the husband.
• There is a joke about cast being hired for a porn movie. All males are boasting about their equipment and stamina... except for one who states he has a case of this trope plus The Loins Sleep Tonight. When questioned about why he came in the first place, he states "What, doesn't your movie need an antagonist?"
• After several years of marriage, a woman notices she's never had sex with the lights on, at her husband's insistence. One night as they're both at it, she suddenly turns the light on, and sees her husband is actually pleasuring her with a cucumber, having a bad case of micropenis. She starts berating him about lying to her all this time and the need for honesty in a marriage. He replies thus:
  "Honesty? You wanna talk about honesty, tell me where our seven kids came from!"
• A joke implying this trope: "Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one, Michael J. Fox has a short one, Cher doesn't have one, and the Pope has one but never uses it. What is it?" Answer? "A last name. What were you thinking of?"
• A man goes to the doctor, where a nurse asks him to explain the problem. In response, he pulls down his pants to reveal what looks like a little boy's finger, and she can't help but snort at it. Now furious, the man yells at her.
  "Oh you think that's funny, do you? It's been swollen to twice its normal size for hours now!"

Literature

• In Always Coming Home, at the end of "A Bay Laurel Song", the man’s penis runs away, unable to bear the constant activity, so he now grows himself a new one but... isn’t very far along.
  He grows a new one
  but it’s very little.
  He has to lie down
  and stick it into antholes.
• In Behaving Bradley by Perry Nodelman, one character acquires the nickname "Microdick" after the boys have to strip for swim class in the locker room. Later on, innocent Brainless Beauty Hopie asks Bradley what the nickname means, and he tells her that it's because the boy in question wants to become a disc jockey and use a microphone. Hopie responds, "Oh. I thought it had something to do with his penis."
• In Bird By Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott, she recommends that in order to avoid lawsuits when writing a Captain Ersatz of a real man who might want to sue, give the character a tiny penis and the real man will never step forward and claim that's him.
• Dancer from the Dance by Andrew Holleran: Sutherland's small penis is mentioned a few times.
• Stated of Conal by Robin in the Gaea Trilogy. She means it as a compliment.
• In the novel Angry Lead Skies of the Garrett, P.I. series, when Garrett and his allies take some of the "silver elves" prisoner and remove their clothing to hinder them from escaping, the captured males are found to have extremely shrunken genitals, "like mummies". It's implied that the "silver elves" are aliens that reproduce by cloning, and restrict their reproductive systems' development to suppress sexual impulses which they consider atavistic.
• Played for tragedy in the gay romance Gottes Bodenpersonal ("God's ground crew"), where one of the main characters thinks he suffers from this. It is heavily implied that part of the sexual abuse in his childhood was convincing him that he should have been a girl. His partner tries to convince him that it's average, with limited success.
• Downplayed Trope in the Kama Sutra. Men are divided up into 3 categories by penis size: "hare", "bull", or "stallion". However, the same is done for women: "doe", "mare", or "elephant". The question then is not about the absolute size of a man, but his relative size compared to his partner. While a hare man probably won't satisfy an elephant woman, he is the ideal lover for a doe woman. Where this trope comes in to play is when it says that after the ideal equal-size parings, the next best option—middling but still workable—is between partners with 1 degree of size difference, and in such cases, the man being slightly larger is preferable to the woman being slightly larger.
• One picture book called Little Zizi (literally French for Teeny Weenie) focuses on a boy named Martin. His classmate Adrian walks in on him getting changed and teases him about Martin's penis (or "zizi" as they put it) being little, which ends in them having a urinating contest to impress their shared love interest. Martin loses, but the girl asks him out anyway. At one point, Martin wonders how he will have kids with such a small penis.
• Master of the Game by Sidney Sheldon: While most of the author's male characters are well-hung, he liked to make his pitiful ones suffer from this such as the case with the cuckolded husband of Eve, Keith.
• A Moveable Feast contains the memoirs of Ernest Hemingway and in it Hemingway claimed that fellow American author F. Scott Fitzgerald once came to him for help regarding his manhood. In the passage, Fitzgerald admitted that his own wife was unsatisfied by his lack of measurement and he had to know whether or not it was small. Hemingway gave him a pep talk, while possibly taking a subtle jab at him by asking him to compare himself to the classical statues in the Louvre Museum (classical statues being notorious for being a bit small down below). Whether or not this exchange happened in reality is unknown given Hemingway's embellishments of himself and how he liked to portray his rivals, of which Fitzgerald was one.
• In Naked Came the Stranger, the boxer Paddy Madigan is huge and muscular everywhere except his micropenis. His wife Agnes is the only woman who never laughed at it, as she believes that Sex Is Evil.
• Next by Michael Crichton had Mick Crowley, a Tuckerization of a real-life journalist who wrote a negative review of Crichton's previous novel State of Fear, gets portrayed as a baby-raping pedophile with a small penis. The real Michael Crowley brought it up in an interview on NPR's Day to Day.
  "The trick is called the small penis rule. And evidently it's known to authors and libel lawyers as something you throw in when you've written something potentially libelous or slanderous about someone in a novel. So you've created a character who is very clearly based on someone and then you throw in somewhere that, if it's a man, he is lacking in certain manly — in a certain manly characteristic. And it's kind of a cheap gimmick to intimidate the person you're attacking into silence. The theory, as explained to the Times by a libel lawyer, is that no one will come forward if they've been the target of this because they'll be too embarrassed."
• Of Fire and Stars: In the sequel a Zumordan woman is telling a joke whose punchline involves this-a man's penis gets compared with a mouse.
• Private Parts: In this book, as well as in Miss America, Howard Stern bemoans his small member throughout the books. In actuality, years later on his radio show, it was measured and turned out to be quite normal, just perspectively small compared to his 6'5" frame.
• Pornucopia by Piers Anthony had the working title of 3.97 Erect for this very reason.
• Sisterhood Series by Fern Michaels: John Chai in the book Vendetta, who is being used to represent Yellow Peril, is revealed to have this. Nikki and Alexis ask Yoko if it is true that Chinese men have a Teeny Weenie, and Yoko, giggling, confirms this.
• Vanas Heritage: Nirvy notices that Halvor doesn’t respond well to Ylvies joke about penis size and makes a probably right conclusion.

Live-Action TV

• In the 2 Broke Girls episode "And the Tip Slip", Caroline's father is worried that she will find out that his former aide's tell-all memoir claims he has a tiny penis. Averted when a photo on an iPhone proves otherwise.
• One of many, many running gags on Bottom is Richie Richard's complete lack of endowment. It started off with the typical jokes, in the live shows, with repeated implications that he has to use a magnifying glass to find it.
• In Cases of the 1st Department, a Serial Rapist from the episode "Phantom from Southern Town" was reported to have a small penis. The team couldn't use line-up recognition because his photo leaked out in the media. He refused to confess to all of his crimes, so major Tomas Kozak had an idea to use the information against him. He told him they would measure it and release pictures to the newspaper unless he confessed. He did.
• Coronation Street unusually has a scene about this issue that isn't Played for Laughs. After Jamie and Leanne break up Janice makes jokes saying Leanne told her Jamie had a small penis (which she hadn't) but instead of being amused Leanne tells her off for her rudeness.
• In the very first episode of Criminal Minds, the UnSub is profiled by Gideon to have this due to how extremely violent his murders of women are suggesting either this or impotency, possibly even both.
• In the Curb Your Enthusiasm episode "The Ski Lift", Larry meets a woman, Lisa, who says that she used to date his friend, Jeff, but broke up with him because he has a very small penis. When Larry tells Jeff about this, he denies having a small penis and says that actually it's Lisa who has a huge vagina.
• On an episode of Degrassi, J.T. is revealed to have a small penis, or as Toby puts it, a stack of dimes. He's so insecure about it that he ends up using a penis pump.
• Played for drama in one episode of Doc Martin. Martin discovers that PC Mylow has unusually small genitals while giving him a physical. A test comes back showing that Mylow has a condition that, among other things, means he's infertile. And then his girlfriend tells him she's pregnant. He is understandably quite upset.
• EastEnders: Sam Mitchell implies that Dennis Rickman her enemy who she once had a one-night stand with has a small penis. She may be saying this to be insulting rather than cause it's true but if it is true it doesn't appear to make a difference to Dennis who is very successful with women.
• Euphoria: Kat gets paid for an online cyber sex session by a guy with a very small penis. He likes being mocked for it, oddly enough.
• Tanya Turner in Footballers Wives says her womanizing husband Jason has a small penis.
• In Game of Thrones, when Jon Snow is brought back from the dead, several characters believe he may be a god. Tormund says he knows better, "I've seen your pecker. What kind of god would have a pecker that small?"
• In an episode of House, a woman took a naked photo of Chase at a party and posted it on Facebook apparently revealing one of these. It later gets a comically small censor which didn't do much to lessen Chase's annoyance with it. Through the episode Chase insisted the image had been doctored seemingly supported by the women he had slept with, however this didn't stop other characters; both male and female teasing him mercilessly for the picture.
• Kenny vs. Spenny: One of Kenny's primary ways to annoy Spenny is to joke about his small penis. At perhaps the earliest possible opportunity the series provides, Spenny actually has a Doctor measure it and tell the camera that it's average. Spenny does not think rationally in the heat of competition.
• Law & Order: Special Victims Unit: In the episode "Flight", the protagonists are watching a video of the suspect of the week and observe that he has a rather small penis which he is apparently rather sensitive about. When his cell mate teases him about it, he flips out and punches him.
• Letterkenny: McMurray is taunted about his apparently small penis by quite a few of the callers during his "ambush" on Crack N Ag.
  Caller: Holy fuck, McMurray, lookit you shootin' high-stakes snooker with a no. 2 pencil there, buddy! Well, I'll go ahead and tell your wife I rock eight inches in reality, and nine if I'm measuring your punk-ass way! Holy fuck, it's my fuckin' heart, it just breaks for that fuckin' masterpiece!
  McMurray: [grits teeth] My wife is a very satisfied woman.
• Little Britain did the trope with big beefy nude bodybuilder suits with tiny genitalia.
• Lost: In "Confidence Man", the episode opens with Sawyer walking out of the ocean naked (only seen from the waist up) completely shameless in front of Kate who looks him up and down... and makes a crack about the water being cold.
• Lucifer (2016): "The One With The Baby Carrot" sees two comedians feuding over stolen jokes about one comedian's micropenis. The joke thief got a starring role in a sitcom based on the material, but the network eventually forced him to drop the penis jokes when the show become popular with a younger audience.
• Married... with Children: One of Al's many shortcomings in the bedroom, at least by Peggy's standards.
• Misfits: Kelly to Nathan, after getting him to proudly display for her. It was actually a shapeshifter disguised as Kelly:
  I don't date men with tiny cocks.
• During an MTV Reality Dating Show, a man decides to show up his adventurous side by stripping and streaking at a beach during his date with a woman. In the post-date commentary, when asked for a song suggestion that should be played at that moment, she recommends "All The Small Things" by blink-182.
• My Left Nut: When Mick is having his testicles examined by the doctors, he's scared of getting an erection so he Think Unsexy Thoughts... unfortunately he does it too well and experiences shrinkage instead. The Hospital Hottie student even gives him a amused look when their eyes meet, much to his horror.
• The documentary My Penis and I follows filmmaker Lawrence Barraclough who despite being in a happy, long-term relationship still has crippling insecurities for being cruelly bullied at school and University for having a small penis. Through facing up to his issues he eventually realizes his problems are more psychological and learns to be contented with himself. In the sequel My Penis and Everybody Elses he talks to another man with similar insecurities and tries to convince him that he needs to learn to be happy in himself and not worry about cruel bullies.
• The Orville: XO Grayson has been captured by some theocratic bad guys, who apply Enhanced Interrogation Techniques in order to make her confess as to where the rest of the away team is located. She lays out a ton of smart-ass remarks and outrageous lies to them until one of her captors produces a hypodermic needle full of a pain-inducing drug. The head inquisitor asks if she knows what the needle is.
  Grayson: Scale model of your penis?
• The Outpost: Men are insulted more than once by claiming that they've got tiny penises.
• On an episode of Republic of Doyle, the main character Jake is forced to strip at gunpoint and cuffed naked to the ceiling. He's later found in this position by both his ex-colleagues and Leslie who all tease him about his size.
  Jake: There's something a lot bigger going on here.
  Leslie: [glances down at his crotch] Not from where I'm standing.
• In Seinfeld, George is embarrassed when a woman sees him nude after he has just come out of the pool, and there is some "shrinkage."
• A story arc in one season of Sex and the City dealt with Samantha's frustration that her otherwise-perfect boyfriend was underendowed, and her skittishness about how to tell him. It finally ended (along with the relationship) when she blurted it out during couples counseling.
• The Shield: Combined with an Ironic Echo: "Small, but genuine."
• Skins:
  • Chris has a small penis. Tony and Cook are described this way by spurned girlfriends. Coincidentally or not these characters are the biggest womanizers on the show.
  • In the finale to Series 1, Anwar gets caught waking up naked by his mother and sisters. They all laugh and point, including his own mother.
• In an episode of Son of the Beach where the characters were naked, the male lead had a much smaller Censor Box than The Ahnold.
• Christopher Moltisanti in The Sopranos is revealed to have a small penis when the Paulie and Silvio strip-search him for wires. However, Christopher is shown having a good sex life with his girlfriend at the time Adriana, his future wife Kelly, and his mistress Julianna. No woman who gets involved with him seems to find his size a problem.
• Miles in This Life according to Anna though this doesn't bother her half as much as his insensitive and obnoxious personality.
• World's Dumbest...:
  • Danny Bonaduce sometimes admits how well-endowed he isn't. Occasionally, this then leads to jokes about how Judy Gold has a bigger one.
  • Comes up during a clip where a drunken idiot takes a piss in a hotel lobby. The manager gets his revenge by taking a picture of the drunk from the hotel security cam and putting it on a flyer that he posts around town, accompanied by the words "SMALL PENIS ALERT". (Bonaduce then pleads guilty.)

Music

• Bloodhound Gang's "Fire Water Burn", where the singer asserts "I'm hung like Planet Pluto, hard to see with the naked eye" (of course followed by a Uranus reference).
• Bob Rivers recorded "Three Inch Tool", a parody of Hootie & the Blowfish's "Only Wanna Be With You".
• The humor group "El Takititá" made a Spanish parody of the song "Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer", only that instead of the red nose the problem of Rodolfo was having a cheese-poof sized dick. Santa Claus helped with his problem by gifting Rodoldo a corncob to use as a replacement, but then Rodolfo engages in a passionate affair and the cob becomes popcorn.
• In "Sun Daze" by the Florida Georgia Line, the guy admittedly refers to his weenie as a tiny cocktail umbrella:
  I'll sit you up on the kitchen sink
  And stick the pink umbrella in your drink
• A one-hit wonder artist known as Gillette did a song called Short Dick Man. It has a remix-Answer Song with a male singer named Machito Ponce where his parts were so dedicated to rebuff Gillete's "accusations" that it bounced back into Compensating for Something territory.
• At the end of the Hollywood Undead video "Everywhere I Go", the chorus of which repeatedly mentions Charlie Scene's "weenie" and how he loves to show it off, Mr. Scene is actually shown whipping it out. Similar to his face in the opening of the video, it's censored with a drawing of his mask which appears to take up just enough space to cover up a nickel.
• Slipped into the end of Kesha's "Thinking Of You," verbatim.
• Koit, which deals in smut and Toilet Humour, wrote a song called "My Willy Won't Go" about a man with a Shy Bladder. The man keeps calling said willy his "little guy".
• Lil Dicky likes self-deprecating jokes about having a small penis. He tends to make a hand gesture indicating that he has a small penis. His stage name itself means "small penis". And in the song "Freaky Friday", Chris Brown switches bodies with Lil Dicky and notes this:
  How his dick staying perched up on his balls like that?
• "The Alligator Song" by David Rovics explains how pollution is causing alligator dicks to shrink and how this could happen to humans:
  I’m not beating around the bush
  I’m making you a promise
  Say goodbye to Long Dong Silver
  Hello to Tiny Thomas
  You can forget about Viagra
  Boys, what I mean is
  It’s all a matter of minutiae
  When you’ve got a half-inch penis
• The Sugarhill Gang's Rapper Delight suggests Superman has a small fellow: "He can't satisfy you with his little worm".
• The 2002 TLC song "Girl Talk" is about how if a man has one and treats a woman badly, she'll spread the word about it and embarrass him.
• Implied In "Miserable Lie" by The Smiths:
  I look yours, you laugh at mine, and love is just a miserable lie.
• Zebrahead (Band): Admitted in "Playmate of the Year":
  "She doesn't care about my hair, my car, my tiny peepee in the mirror!"
• Eminem, "The Kids":
  My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it?
  Fuck, no! You ain't seen it! It's the size of a peanut
• Ditto for Brojob's "Teenie Weenie", which takes it to comical levels
• CupcakKe's "Squidward Nose"; she laments about her partner's member and says that Squidward's nose would be a better alternative.

Music Videos

• In Bowling for Soup's video for "High School Never Ends", the singer gets revenge on a Jerk Jock bully at the class reunion by inviting him up on stage and then pulling his pants down in front of the audience. The Censor Box covering his junk is labelled "Too small for TV."

Professional Wrestling

• During a 2002 feud between The Rock and The Hurricane, The Rock (as a heel) kept insulting the Hurricane, taunting him over the fact that the Rock was a Hollywood movie star (with The Scorpion King having recently released at the time). The Hurricane countered that this apparently meant "The Scorpion King got a tiny ding-a-ling". The panicked reactions from The Rock and Suspiciously Specific Denial about it were Played for Laughs.
• Nowadays The Miz is getting this treatment by the fans, and he's loving it.

Tabletop Games

• A white card in Cards Against Humanity: "A micropenis". The Green Box expansion also features the white card "Twenty cheerleaders laughing at your tiny penis."

Theater

• The Bible: The Complete Word of God (abridged) opens with the three players wearing nothing more than a fig leaf each. One of the actors' fig leaves is noticeably smaller than those of the other two, who take a look at it and shake their heads. The same actor plays Nimrod in the Tower of Babel sequence, where he is mocked for Compensating for Something.
• The play The Irish Curse dealt with a support group for the condition.
• In The Last Days of Judas Iscariot, Satan reminds El-Fayoumy that "on a good day, your cock is three-and-a-half inches erect" and he definitely means it as an insult.
• Les Misérables. Madame Thenardier on her husband in her verse of "Master of the House": "Thinks he's quite a lover, but there's not much there!"
• In "Ex-Wives", the opening number of Six: The Musical, Anne of Cleves starts to make fun of Henry VIII's endowment but gets interrupted by Katherine Howard.
  Cleves: Funny how we all discuss that but never Henry's little-
  Howard: Prick up your ears, I'm the Catherine who lost her head!

Video Games

• BitLife: If you have a pet snake, it may strike at your penis because it thinks it's "a very small baby snake."
• In Conker's Bad Fur Day, Buga the Knut is defeated when he loses his Loincloth, exposing his "very small willy" and causing him to flee in shame.
• Grand Theft Auto:
  • Grand Theft Auto: Vice City: In the cutscene where Lance and Tommy have successfully stolen a pair of police uniforms for a mission, the dialogue implies that Lance Vance is underdeveloped (or at least in comparison to Tommy’s Gag Penis).
  Lance: Ooo. Fits perfectly!
  Tommy: Bit tight around the crotch though…
  Lance: Oh yeah yeah, mine too. Mine too.
  • Grand Theft Auto V: A conversation the player can overhear features Tracey mentioning to a friend that her brother Jimmy is poorly endowed.
  Tracey: Seriously, penises are NOT meant to be that small.
• Leisure Suit Larry: This is one of the many... inadequacies of the titular character.
• In Mafia III, the boss of Point Verdun, Roman "The Butcher" Barbieri, as much as The Dreaded as he is to everyone in-universe and is a huge guy, is said to have one of these if you sneak up on Sonny Blue.
  Sonny: Screw that fat fuck. You know, I saw him pissin' one time, his dick's about two inches long. Can't respect a man with a tiny dick.
• In Mutant Football League, having only a single yard or less left to go before earning a first down will occasionally yield an unfavorable comparison to announcer "Brickhead" Mulligan's rather embarrassing tackle.
  Grim: Second down and less than the size of Brick's dick.
  Bricks: Hey!
  Grim: Sorry partner, but c'mon. It's true.
• Not for Broadcast: In Day 232: The Silence, Prime Minister Ivan Vodovich makes fun of Peter Clement with small penis jokes, which gets him ticked off.
• In Sam & Max: Freelance Police Max hints that Sam might be packing light between his legs. Most notably in Reality 2.0, and rather than denying it, he just takes the same jab at Max!
  Sam: Cool! I have a +2 Sword!
  Max: Oh you're just compensating for something!
  Sam: You're a fine one to talk!
• Yaka and Gaki in Shin Megami Tensei. Given how grotesque they are already, these are only really visible in artwork.
• This is why Jenna nicknames one of Those Two Guys "Tiny" in Third Crisis. He's torn between being pissed about that and being pissed that she gave his partner the rather less humiliating nickname "Throb".

Web Animation

• Cartoon Hooligans:
  • Implied in the following exchange in "What If Doctor Strange Ripped His Clothes", after Doctor Strange and Hulk both lose all their clothes:
  Hulk: [grins] You no Doctor Strange, heh, you Doctor Small! Hahahaha!
  Doctor Strange: [glances down and blushes] Today is pretty cold, okay?! Gimme a break!
  • The above is then followed up by Doctor Strange apparently shrinking Hulk's penis, which is represented as a reverse-evolution process involving a Mega Blaziken devolving into a Torchic. Hulk gets teary-eyed and says that he doesn't like Doctor Strange.
• In Helluva Boss, Blitzo is fond of teasing Moxxie about his (supposedly) small penis.
• The South Park fan-created Affectionate Parody "Trey Gets Stoned" is mostly about how Trey Parker supposedly has a micro-penis and his failed attempts to find love.

Webcomics

• In The Bare Pit, a male invites women over to his pool to skinny dip, while he's secretly recording them in order to upload the footage and sell it on the Internet. However, the video is intercepted by someone else who splices the footage to remove all traces of the woman and leaves only the shots of him naked and releases it over the Internet. The next day at school he's humiliated when not only is his reputation as a romantic playboy completely shot, he also has to deal with his new nickname "Inchworm."
• According to Thor in this Brathalla, Balder has one.
• Subverted by many webcomics by Humon, there are supernatural beings with rather tiny genitals who aren't at all worried about it - and there is a (human) guy who is rather ashamed that his is too big and hurt his girlfriend when they first tried vaginal intercourse.
• "Las Lindas": In a somewhat rare variation of the trope, the local "casanova" Miles Lionheart technically fits this trope by packing far less heat than essentially every male character in the comic and its spinoffs so far. While he is not confirmed to be below-average by in-universe standards (and most likely isn't, as it wasn't used as a recurring joke with his Butt-Monkey status), beyond Mora telling him to "grow some other things a man needs" amongst a few other sex-related insults on the morning after she has Sex for Solace with him early on in the story (and if you stretch it, his first time with Rachael later on could be an indicator). But so far, every male shown in the NSFW bonus material are bigger than him to some degree (in a few notable cases a VERY vast degree).
• In Mac Hall, Micah's ex-girlfriend posts something embarrassing about his penis in her blog. His current girlfriend Helen tries to console him by saying "I think it's cute." (It doesn't help.)
• Cuthwald of NSFW Comix, two and a half inches when erect, orders every penis enlargement remedy he's e-mailed on 4Chan, mixes them together in a bathtub, summarily drinks it all and becomes so large it exits the universe, kills God, and skull fucks the reader. It's back to being tiny again later.
• Subverted in one Oglaf strip, when a woman is relieved that her partner, while being a centaur, really has a small-to-average sized human penis, instead of a large horses' penis because he can "step out" of his equine hindquarters and shoo them away.
• In Rabbitual Offender, they successfully subvert the trope as Charlie proudly struts around with his exposed tiny penis as if it was a giant Gag Penis.
• Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal:
  • We have one guy who calls his "The Singularity".
  • Small penis, big imagination.
  • The man with the world's smallest penis can actually get plenty of sex; what woman wouldn't want to do it with a record holder? The man with the world's second smallest penis, on the other hand...
• When Sluggy Freelance did a Voldemort parody, it recreated the scene where he goes from a shriveled infant to a grown man. Torg's response?
  Torg: Are you sure you did the spell right? Why is his wee-wee still baby-sized?
• In a very early comic S.S.D.D., Richard is said to have one. That changes in the later comics.
• Yet Another Fantasy Gamer Comic: Lucas and Cadugan's introduction (see image) features Cadugan smirking at Lucas being flustered (admittedly Lucas was taken prisoner while bathing in a stream and hasn't been allowed to put his clothes on). Amusingly, it doesn't stop them from becoming an Official Couple much later.

Web Video

• Bart Baker have this inflicted on his parodies about Justin Bieber until the "Love Yourself" parody came out.
• Dragon Ball Z Abridged:
  • Piccolo implies this to be the case for Raditz, after Raditz unzips his fly because he thought nudity makes you stronger on Earth.
    Piccolo: So that hair does compensate for something.
    Phil Ken Sebben: Ha ha! Dangly parts.
  • Subverted in series Butt-Monkey Krillin's case when Android 18 drops by to make good on her promise of Rescue Sex. Krillin nervously tells her he's a grower, drops his pants... and we hear the sound of something hitting the floor.
    18: Oh. My. God.
• In the Epic Rap Battles of History rap battle between Adam and Eve, Eve disses Adam thusly:
  The first man on Earth ain't a tough act to follow
  One-pump chump and you're hung like a weasel
  Ditch the fig leaf, get yourself a pine needle!
  • The battle between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates has Jobs implying this of Gates by asking him "Why'd you name your company after your dick?"
• Alucard implies this of Enrico Maxwell (as well as being a Pedophile Priest) in the third episode of Hellsing Ultimate Abridged.
  "Honestly, if you're going to have a dick-fighting competition with a woman, you must've started off with the world's cruelest handicap. Which I'm sure benefits the nine-year-old boy you have chained up in your private Vatican jet. Which was paid for how? Oh, right; generous donations from your followers to spread the word of God. All over his back."

Western Animation

• In the Beavis and Butt-Head episode "Sporting Goods," the duo tries to buy protective cups, but the smallest ones are still too big. The sporting goods owner gives them a couple of racquetball eyepatches for free, which fit them perfectly. Daria walks in, saw them walking out of the dressing rooms wearing the patches, does a double-take, and snaps a photo for the school newspaper.
  Daria: Wow! Even smaller than I thought!
• The Cleveland Show episode "Of Lice and Men" shows Rallo giving nicknames to his fellow students at Harper Elementary School. When asked whether he'll give the newest student a nickname based on physical attribute or something racial, Rallo answers that he's considering doing both like he did with "Rice Pee Pee". We then see an Asian kid covering his crotch in shame, referencing the stereotype of Asian men having small penises.
• In the Drawn Together episode "The Lemon-AIDS Walk", a running gag was that every sequence of Captain Hero injecting steroids would include his penis shrinking.
• Family Guy:
  • It was the focus of the season 3 episode "And the Weiner Is..." that Peter's penis is smaller than that of his son, Chris. Just how small it is has been joked about in many subsequent episodes with one episode implying it's smaller than Stewie's.
  • Brian also has a tiny penis as said in two jokes about it. Stewie says in a song that Brian has a "weenie like a Christmas tree light" Additionally in the Valentine's episode, the biggest complaint all of his ex-girlfriends had about him was that he has a tiny penis. According to Stewie, the women took a survey and Brian’s short dick was notable on it.
    • It's also worth noting that in "And the Weiner Is..." that Brian states his lackluster length in order to somewhat comfort Peter, implying that his penis is smaller than Peter's. Considering that we find out Peter's is smaller than Stewie's later, we can infer that Brian has the smallest penis of the entire cast of Family Guy!
  • According to "Mr. Saturday Knight," Mort Goldman suffers from one of these. When the Black Knight's girlfriend flashes her cleavage at the Renaissance Fair jousters, every knight gets an erection that audibly bumps up against the crotch of their armor...except Mort, who looks around nervously and exclaims "Ding!". For this reason, he's reluctant to shower with anyone else in the locker room later on.
  • Peter's real father from "Peter's Two Dad's", Mickey McFinnigan, utters this line when he realizes that Peter is indeed his son:
    Mickey: You're the broth of me own stubby shillelagh, all right!
• Futurama:
  • In "Benderama", the crew has to deliver personal hygiene supplies to an ugly giant. He is 50 feet tall, and while most of his body parts are enormous, one part... isn't.
    Amy: Colossal tooth whitener, mega deodorant, humongous acne cream... awwww... and one regular size condom.
    Bender: All that and a small wiener? This guy's got it goin' on!
  • When Fry enters the same nude sauna as Leela and Amy in "Why Must I Be A Crustacean In Love?", he apparently doesn't measure up to 30th century standards.
    Amy: Check out life before genetic engineering.
    Leela: Those poor twentieth-century women.
    [Fry crosses his legs]
    • Something really funny about this comment is when you consider that, later on in the series, they would both have sex with Fry.
  • Also when Leela learns that her latest boyfriend is actually a shapeshifting alien in "A Bicylops Built For Two".
    "If you could change form, then why didn't you change it in the one place where it counts?"
  • In The Beast with a Billion Backs, Amy at one point refers to Kif as her "teeny greeny weenie". Zapp covers his crotch and says it's just a fungal infection before he realizes Amy is addressing Kif.
  • It's implied that Kif's dick size isn't anything to write home about in the Comedy Central run episode "Proposition Infinity", where during an argument with Amy, Kif responds to Amy calling him a jellyfish by stating that he's more closely related to the sea cucumber. Amy retorts "Not where it counts".
• Harley Quinn (2019): An epically Defied Trope with Bane in the Valentine Special. When he finally gets a date, after spending most of the episode bemoaning the fact that he was single on Valentine’s Day, he starts worrying about the size of his manhood, after he hears the woman he is going on a date with mock a previous client’s genital size, which leads him to seek out Etrigan for a magical enhancement. However, instead of thing he wanted, it causes him to grow into a giant, with the added bonus of not having any Magic Pants leaving him naked which is sadly covered by different tropes to prevent Male Frontal Nudity. That being said, while his manhood may be covered, the audience can still tell that he averts this trope, with a billboard of a footlong hot dog used as a form of Scenery Censor to cover most of his genitals, as well as some Pixellation being used for the tiny bit not covered, as well as using a semi truck as a form Hand-or-Object Underwear to fashion himself a Loincloth.
• Inside Job (2021): The Episode "Ghost Protocol" implies that Glenn Dolphman has a very tiny penis during a scene where the Cognito Crew are rebuilding Skull Finger's large phallic-shaped device. Brett comments that guys with weapons are just compensating.
  Brett: It's almost like guys with weapons are just compensating for something...
  Glenn: [after powering on the device] WOO YEAH! THIS BAD BOY'S GOT SOME FUCKIN' FIREPOWER! WOO! What? What'd I miss?
• Tuffalo of Peepoodo & the Super Fuck Friends has a micropenis and is very sensitive about it. Being that the show is an animated Sex Comedy, it's one of the few instances we actually see the teenie weenie in question.
• Robot Chicken:
  • One sketch had two people standing in a hallway. The woman pulls a hotdog out of a bun and throws it at the door at the end.
    Woman: Do ya see the problem here?
    Man: Yeah, that hallway is like bizarrely huge.
  • The Nerd gets knocked out and stripped naked. Everybody makes fun of his tiny penis.
  • Zorak talks to a woman about Big Jim and his Ironic Nickname.
  • The Nerd visits a car dealer and tells him he has a small penis, the dealer recommends a Hummer H2. The man tells him he's overestimating the size of his penis ("Literally concave") and ends up buying a Recognizer.
• The Simpsons:
  • Implied in "Brush with Greatness" when Marge paints and displays a nude portrait of Mr. Burns after seeing him in a compromising situation. His assets are always hidden by Scenery Censor, but...
    Mr. Burns: Incidentally, thank you for not making fun of my genitalia. [Walks away]
    Marge: I thought I did...
  • Also implied in "Bart Gets a 'Z'", where Mrs. Krabappel got drunk from Bart spiking her coffee in an attempt to get her to lighten up, unintentionally resulting in her firing. The school newspaper is shown with the headline "Tipsy Teacher Mars Assembly, Reveals Size of Principal's Wang", the featured image depicting Krabappel making a hand gesture clearly showing that Principal Skinner's penis size is unimpressive.
• South Park has done this a few times:
  • In "Osama Bin Laden Has Farty Pants", Osama bin Laden is shown to have an absurdly microscopic penis.
    Cartman: So that's what this is all about!
  • "T.M.I." has the idea of compensating for a small penis as its entire premise. It turns out that all of the angry people in the world are just pissed off because they're below the average length. To fix the problem, they change the terms from "small", "medium" and "large" to just "nice" (although, ironically, Cartman still doesn't make the cut).
  • In "Chinpokomon", the Japanese creators keep talking about how small their penises are as opposed to the well-endowed Americans. One woman calls them out on this, saying that they're only saying this to distract the male Americans. While this is true, one of the creators proves that he's not lying about the size of his penis, either. One of said creators also uses the "your penis so big" line on a woman, causing the other creator to smack him upside the head for the screw-up.
  • In "Ginger Cow", the appearance of a red cow leads to peace in the Middle East. To keep Cartman from revealing the truth that the cow is a fake and ruin everything, Kyle agrees to do whatever he asks. When Stan tries to maintain the charade by saying that it really was a miracle, a rabbi notes that the prophecy actually stated a fat child with a small penis would decorate a cow to look ginger, not that one would miraculously just fall from the sky. As everyone is ready to return to fighting, Kyle tells them that the prophecy really was fulfilled. When he tries to get Cartman to back him up, Cartman says he can't lie: he has a huge dick.
• Total Drama World Tour: One challenge has the contestants stuffing up giant sausages. During this challenge, Noah comments that Cody has a tiny sausage.
  Cody: At least my team has a sausage.
• Velma: A Running Gag is that Fred apparently has a near-microscopic penis, which is a major source of insecurity for him. Many people frequently make fun of him for it.

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