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Telephone Polearm
Steroid use in track and field athletes has gotten out of control.

Straight line of the year: "Face me, Hulk," says Hercules in Hulk #404, "Without benefit of shrubbery!" There's only one correct response to THAT challenge: Ni!
Marvel Year In Review 1993

The use of extremely long and thick objects as blunt weaponry carried one-handed over the shoulder but swung two-handed in a devastating arc: think telephone poles, streetlamps, trees...

See also Improbable Weapon User, Blade on a Stick, Carry a Big Stick, Drop the Hammer, and Epic Flail.

Pretty much a combination of Batter Up and BFS; subtrope of the former.

Some overlap with Improvised Weapon.

Examples:

    open/close all folders 

    Anime and Manga 
  • Fate/Zero: Berserk's abilities allow him to use this to devastating effect against Saber
  • Bleach: During Chad's first fight against a Hollow (which he can't even see at the time), he rips a telephone pole out of the ground and sweeps it around until it hits something. This is before he gains any powers whatsoever; he's just that Bad Ass.
  • Thorkell in Vinland Saga uses tree-sized sharpened stakes as either melee or ship-sinking ranged weapons.
  • Within the anime of Ranma ˝, Ryoga uproots a concrete utility pole and swings it at Ranma after Nabiki convinces him the pills she gave him grant super-strength.
  • This is occasionally used by Durarara!!'s Shizuo Heiwajima — Sometimes with actual telephone poles, and other times with equally unwieldy objects like roadside guardrails.
    • Including, memorably, the use of a large motorway signpost, complete with sign, that he used to slice the top off a van.
      • Don't forget the tree he completely uprooted. The poor sap in the tree certainly didn't.
  • A Filler Arc in the Naruto anime included a boat trip for the protagonists. When, during an attack, their ship becomes unseaworthy, Sakura rips out its mainmast to use as a giant club. Especially notable in that, until this point in the series, Sakura had done very little in combat that had proven even mildly useful. It could also count as foreshadowing, since after the Time Skip Super Strength becomes her primary ability and her combat-effectiveness skyrockets.
  • During the chariot race in the Part 2 of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, Joseph takes the first weapon available, a warhammer suspended from a pillar. Wham's response? "If you take the warhammer... I'LL TAKE THE PILLAR!" And he does so. (Later, since one of the race's gimmicks was that weapons would be hung from that pillar, Cars forces two vampires to fill in for it.)
  • One Piece character Urouge wields one of these. Word of God states that it is actually a pencil...and he's looking for a sharpener.
  • In Mahou Sensei Negima!, Ku Fei gets one of these as her signature weapon after her Pactio. It's explicitly based on the Ruyi Jingu Bang from Journey to the West, and consequently its most memorable appearance is when she uses it as artillery support.

    Comics 
  • Jason X Special features Jason killing a couple by ripping a tree out of the ground and crushing them with it. Later, he kills another pair of teenagers by beating them with a picnic table.
  • In one X-men comic, X-men are trapped in another dimention and forced to take part in a large battle. Colossus (for who the whole arc is a serious case of It's Personal) goes to battle swinging a tree. The narration lampshades how horrified he would be at the damage if he wasn't so angry.

    Fan Works 
  • In With Strings Attached, Paul batters his way up the steps to the Heart of Evil while swinging a six-foot length of fallen rock pillar. Does a nice job of clearing off the undead in the way... until he reaches the intangible wraiths.

    Film 

    Literature 
  • Done in several Discworld books, usually by Detritus or the Librarian, both of whom are strong enough to improvise clubs from all sorts of improbably large objects (enemy mooks are a favourite).
  • In The Magician's Nephew, when Jadis visits London she rips the sticky-out pole thing provided for the lamplighter to lean his ladder against off a lamp-post and uses it as a club.

    Tabletop Games 
  • GURPS: Supers (4th edition) has rules for using such polearms, based on their length and how hard it is to hold them in hand.

    Video Games 
  • Taurens in WarCraft 3 use their totems (essentially enormous, decorated logs) like this.
    • The Taunka in World of Warcraft use these totems as well.
    • The Mountain Giants can also use trees as giant clubs.
  • Crude Buster had this as standard. Larger poles were picked up and thrown while smaller ones were used as clubs. You could also throw cars.
  • Hualin (one of the shopkeepers from Soul Calibur III and a bonus character) uses an enchanted staff that can shift length and thickness to fight, and often shifts it to telephone pole dimensions for stronger attacks. It's based on the staff from Journey to the West, which could change length and width. See also, Goku's Power Pole.
  • 'El Gigante' in Resident Evil 4 can wield a tree at you. Roughly the same thing happens with the Ndesu in Resident Evil 5, only he uses an actual telephone pole this time.
  • Joachim in Shadow Hearts: Covenant uses mailboxes and pillars as his weapons. He loves his Improvised Weapons.
  • Some characters in Freedom Force could rip poles right out of the ground and swing them. You could bring down a building by throwing enough trash cans at it or pounding it with light poles.
  • This is possible in the Hulk video games.
  • The Minotaur enemies in Castlevania: Bloodlines will grab sections of a marble column to swing at you. They'll even break it over your character if the swing connects.
  • Also possible in Transformers games.
  • In Time Crisis 2 the second stage boss is a huge Scary Black Man who fights you by bear-hugging a nuclear missile by the business end and beating you over the head with it in the second stage of the fight.
  • The Gargantuar from Plants vs. Zombies can use a telephone pole as one of its weapons to instantly smash one of your plants. The others weapons it uses are street signs and another zombie.
  • In Fallout 3, the Super Mutant Behemoth enemies carry an improvised club consisting of a fire hydrant at the end of a water pipe. It's also larger than any other in-game fire hydrant by a factor of two, making it about as big as the player without the pipe...
    • It's larger than in-game hydrants because the Behemoth was meant to be rather less big. It got changed late in the game by punching up the stats and increasing the size of the model, resulting in the huge hydrant, not to mention the shopping trolley it uses as a backpack being a lot larger than what you'd expect.
    • Fallout: New Vegas also has the super mutant favorite Rebar Club, a trio of steel rebar beams, still attached to a large chunk of concrete. The player can also utilize it to full effect, through it takes a nearly maxed out strength score to make the most of it.
      • The unique version is added in Gun Runners' Arsenal DLC, called Nuka Breaker, which is a Nuka Cola neon sign. This itself is a Shout-Out to Fallout: Nuka Break.
      • Old World Blues has the X2 Antenna, and Lonesome Road has the Old Glory flagstaff.
  • Nexus War allows characters with the Cloak of Steel skill (or its upgraded variations) to do this with telephone poles, streetlamps, and uprooted trees. While it's possible to splatter a maximum-level character in three or four hits this way, such weapons are usually much less accurate than normal-size melee weapons.
  • Karok in Vindictus wields a battle pillar. It isn't improvised, but it's certainly big enough.
  • The larger characters in Power Stone are able to make use of street lights and telephone poles as weapons.
  • Pokémon Black and White: Timburr fights by using a piece of wood that's enormous when compared to it, and it even juggles it on a regular basis. Its evolutions are also examples, but to a lesser extent, though only because they're bigger in comparison: Gurdurr and Conkeldurr, who swing around girders and concrete support beams, respectively.
  • Flint gets to use Lighter's four-by-four in Mother 3. That same weapon is later used to knock Flint out. Ouch.
  • Some large creatures in Disciples use ripped out tree trunks as weapons.
  • Trolls in The Lord of the Rings: The Battle for Middle-Earth can rip out trees to use them as clubs.
  • So has the RuneScape troll Dad, who fights with a tree trunk. Justified, as he's much larger than most other trolls - the average mountain troll is more human-sized and uses weapons like large hammers of bones.
  • In Dynasty Warriors 6: Empires, Meng Huo wields a large stone pillar.
  • One of the weapons in Dark Souls is a club fashioned out of a World Tree branch. Think of that what you will.
  • From the same maker, Armored Core V features, as one of its so-called "Ultimate Weapon", a rocket-powered concrete pillar. As if that's not badass enough, one of the Story mode bosses fashions one out of rubble after being beaten. Befitting its name, getting hit once, and only once, is enough to destroy damn well anything slow enough to get hit.
  • Many weapons available for the City of Heroes Titan Weapon powerset qualify, such as the "Concrete Mallet".
  • Wan Fu's weapon of choice in Samurai Shodown 2 is a stone pillar about as tall as he is.
  • One enemy in the arcade version of Ninja Gaiden wields a spiked log.
  • Doable in the first Darksiders, breaking off the non-straight parts of the pole. Though as it turns out mortal steel can't hold up to the strain the protagonist puts on his weapons and his foes are really too tough to make improvised weapons practical, this isn't good for more than a bit of minor Sequence Breaking before you have a ranged weapon.

    Webcomics 
  • Ping yanks a streetlamp out of the ground and swings away with it in Megatokyo. Not only has she used a telephone pole as a weapon/tool on more than one occasion, at least once she has fixed it back in place afterwards (and thanked it).

    Web Original 
  • Used against Tennyo in the Whateley Universe story "Boston Brawl" when the Arch-Fiend rips up a streetlight and lets her have it. On the other hand, smashing Tennyo into the pavement doesn't stop her.
  • In Death Battle, Superman uses one on Goku. Needless to say, Goku is barely scratched and Superman is still nowhere near using his full strength at that point.

    Western Animation 

    Real Life 
  • Caber tossing comes pretty close.
  • Ever seen a real medieval pike? They're about twelve feet long and several inches thick.
  • Rods from God, a conceptual weapon that consists of satellites orbiting earth, which can drop telephone pole sized tungsten rods like giant darts on any targets below. At falling speeds of up to Mach 10, an impact would have as much energy as more than 100 tonnes of TNT.

Sword CaneIndex on a StickX on a Stick
Solar-Powered Magnifying GlassImprovised IndexThis Banana Is Armed
Tail SlapWeapons and Wielding TropesThrow a Barrel at It
Teeny WeenieJust for PunTentacle Rope
Freakiness ShameImageSource/Anime & MangaEat-Man

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