"This comic started as an attempt to make pornography. It degenerated into sex comedy pretty much immediately. Even so, there are some things depicted that are best kept away from children and work. Please click on the button below to certify you're over 18. Of course, if you are
under 18, you can't legally certify anything. So if you're a minor, please get a parent to click the button which says you aren't. Thank you. (Taking moral advice from cartoon characters is probably a bad idea.
— opening disclaimer
is an often seriously NSFW
webcomic by Trudy Cooper and Doug Bayne. Most of the episodes (called "stories") are single non-sequential pages, though some stretch out longer; the very first one was eight pages long. The comic started out as a gag-a-week work, but slowly started including longer Story Arcs
, most of the time focusing on Ivan and his never-ending torment at the hands of Mistress and Sandoval, the Ambassador of Xoan. These arcs appear to be (very) slowly coming together into a single overarching plot.Just a note
: Click "Next page" to see the next page of a story. "Next story" to see the next story.
The last page of each story has a small diagonal cutout at the bottom right-hand corner. Also, some stories have an epilogue that is behind a separate link.
Most strips are very, very
NSFW; the strips that are
work-safe are the ones slapped with a warning label. However, the comic also features many gags that are quite innocuous or just "immature".
Recurring characters include (but aren't limited to):
- Mistress: A cruel dictator, with some very serious magical powers, usually busy either ruling her nation (which mostly consists of appeasing allies and receiving tributes from neighbors) or finding new ways to torture her slaves. When she's not doing either, she torments Ivan for giggles.
- Ivan: Mistress' sorcery apprentice and the ostensible protagonist. Not allowed to have sex (or even wank) under castle regulations. To make sure he doesn't get distracted from that rule, Mistress cursed him with walking, talking semen. As of 5/22/11, in a magical sleep.
- Cumsprite: Ivan's walking, talking (or more accurately, running and yelling) semen, which runs to Mistress and tattles whenever released, regardless of how it happened.
- Sandoval: The Ambassador of Xoan. Staying with Mistress as a political guest (and apparently one she wants to please), he sexually harasses Ivan whenever he's bored. He also seems to be sexually attracted to food, especially desserts.
- Greir: A female adventurer. The comic's resident Deadpan Snarker. Having not been named in-comic, she's also known as the Lesbian Mercenary. She's considered "impervious to fun," although she does enjoy victory.
- Oglaf: A farm boy. The Chosen One, although chosen for what, we're not sure.
- Ponce de Leon & assistant: Two adventurers in search of the Fountain of Youth. They haven't been seen since the Fountain of Girl incident.
- The Snow Queen: The personification of Winter. Satisfying her is necessary for Winter to end and for Spring to start. Greir gladly takes up the challenge.
- Kronar, Son of Man: A mighty barbarian warrior with rigid, unfailing honor. His tribe is made up of men who breed with one another.
- Vanka: Female thief. Exceptionally clever, light-fingered and voluptuous.
- Navaan: Female vampire. Captures Ivan in Vanorva with the intent to kill him, but soon finds him useful for... other things. Later escaped Vanorva and set herself up as a "doctor," despite having no idea what that is.
- The Dwarves: Three little men with bad teeth, limited fukken vocabularies, and lunatic enthusiasm for creating bizarre and fukken awesome magical items.
- Morag the Immortal: A female religious warrior who, true to her name, is immortal. She will fight for any religion, and loses her entire body save for the head doing so.
- Thessaly and Tristram: A pair of princes who are the sons of a Caligula king and lament having to satisfy his absurd whims.
- The talking fox: A tricky and sometimes helpful fox with a wall-eyed stare and perpetual grin.
- Mistertique: A masked super-hero like character who represents the masculine mystique. Enjoys setting women up to want to have sex with him, then leaving before doing the deed.
- Blonde girl with the hat: A yet-unnamed character who enjoys teasing others. She appears to be part of Vanka's crew, as she was incarcerated with her and they enjoyed a spirited rapport.
- Wish Dolly: A talking doll with the ability to grant wishes. Jackass Genie extraordinaire.
- King Blowjob: 'Cursed' to be the best at blowjobs, he now rules over a 'peaceful fellatiocracy'.
- The King from Skulls!: A warrior king, prone to shouting and abusing his men to satisfy capricious whims.
- The King from A Very Deep Chasm: Longtime member of the Heir Club for Men.
- Has appeared with a recurring courtier who is obsessed with labyrinths, and offers to build one at the slightest provocation.
- Followers of Sithrak : Disciples of Sithrak who go around preaching his word, though they usually succeed in making asses of themselves.
- Sithrak : An allegedly wrathful god that, at least according to his disciples, will torture everyone when they die, regardless of moral standing. Turns out that he was very angry when he wrote that part, and no longer feels compelled to do such.
Because the site has a SFW "Do you really want to see this content?" page, we allow links to the site, but do not link directly to NSFW comics.
Oglaf provides examples of the following tropes:
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- Call Back: The portrait of the Mistress being painted later shows up in the room of tributes, flying skulls, severed cocks and all.
- Cannot Keep a Secret: Used as a Spoof Aesop here.
- Can't Have Sex, Ever: Ivan isn't even allowed to masturbate, lest he gets in trouble. He did find a way around it, though.
- Cat Fight: When Vanka meets Greir. Humorously, they both agree to skip the boring part at the beginning and go straight to the sex.
- Caught with Your Pants Down: Not that Sticklebark actually wears pants.
- Cerebus Syndrome: Oglaf has always had re-occurring characters and some gags built on top of previous ones, but as time went by the strips involving Ivan in particular shifted into gradually longer multi-week arcs, which put him in ever more dire situations. Often still funny, but also part of longer and more serious stories. As time went on, even more characters have been thrown into dire-situation plots, including Greir and Navaan.
- Chainmail Bikini: It shows up, naturally, from time to time, usually to be gleefully mocked.
- Parodied in Breastplate. Note the chest armor of the scowling woman beside him averts this trope.
- Played straight in The Glamazon Way.
- Justified in the NSFW strip Appeal to Heaven, where warriors (male and female) wear slutty armor to gain the favor of a goddess of war and sex.
- And treated as the logical conclusion of Armor Is Useless in New Model Army. By a tribe of orcs.
- Characterization Marches On: Greir's thing now appears to be that she hates fun, and doesn't seem to understand the concept. But in her earlier appearances, particularly "Meltwater," she clearly had at least some idea what it was.
- Chekhov's Gun: The Fake Death in the Fun God arc.
- The Chosen One: Oglaf, the shepherd boy. It's just too bad he can't read.
- Christmas Episode: Saturnalia, actually.
- Cliff Hanger: Rapunzel (resolved in the next week's episode).
- Closet Key: What Greir of the Meltwater arc has become for the Snow Queen evidently.
- Cloud Cuckoo Lander:
- Many characters in the comic suffer from minor cases of crazy (with poor Ivan as the Only Sane Man).
- The Xoan ambassador seems to be a very definite case.
- Navaan seems to have taken the spotlight for this. Fruit Viking, anyone?
- Cluster F-Bomb: Fucking fuckers. (Safe aside from the bombs.)
- This and building ridiculous sex toys is pretty much all the dwarves in the strip do.
- Comically Inept Healing: Navaan claims to be a doctor, but her healing methods include such questionable practices as putting an acorn in the stump of an amputated limb and stuffing it with dirt, which she thinks will grow a new limb.
- The Comically Serious: Greir. She has a story arc where she tries to overcome her inadequate grasp of the concept of "fun."
- Comic Sutra: The list of "the slut's" grotesque and amazing talents includes "combat ejaculation", "self-saucing (7 flavors!)", and "flang."
- Culminated in a literal comic sutra, "Ivan and Navaan's 'Doesn't Count' Kama Sutra," which illustrated sexual positions that allowed the participants to remain technical virgins. Published as a bonus to the graphic novel.
- The Complainer Is Always Wrong: Played for laughs in "The Golden Songbird"; the gullible brother Thessaly runs off with the Talking Fox to find the Golden Songbird, his Only Sane Man brother Tristram sulks at the ridiculousness of it all. Naturally, Thessaly comes back with the bird, is greeted as a hero and wins his father's favour. Tristram, annoyed at the smug fox, goes out and buys a pack of hounds.
- Continuity Nod:
- In "Infffirmary", you can see two men with masks and lockets.
- Ever since "Hilting", Kronar has been depicted with no fingers on one hand.
- In "The Golden Songbird", Thessaly states that they need to find a hot princess with a mouth like a sea anemone. Think the young lady from "Romance" qualifies?
- Cool and Unusual Punishment:
- Crapsack World: Sexy, but crapsack.
- This guy, although he probably shouldn't have revealed it.
- Vanka, who even booby-traps her own vagina.
- Crying Wolf: The wolf got him.
- Cunning Like a Fox: The Trickster Talking Fox with a disarmingly stupid-looking perpetual grin.
- Cursed with Awesome:
- Cute Little Fangs: Navaan. Her friends also have them, though "cute" may be stretching it a bit when paired with Slasher Smiles...
- The Cutie: The Snow Queen. Especially here.
- Cuteness Proximity: Servants of the Mistress who fail to do what they're told tend to either die or wish they had. Her response to seeing her infant horror try to rampage, however, is, "Hahaha! Look at it go!"
- Dangerously Short Skirt: Grier.
- A Date with Rosie Palms: Ivan the Apprentice, constantly, even though for the longest time he was forbidden even this. He managed to find a way to beat the system though. Oglaf may be the only thing that's not American Pie that managed to turn it into an important recurring plot point.
- Deadly Disc/Rings of Death: The Throwing Anus (worksafe, as it's just Xena's chakram).
- Deadpan Snarker:
- Sandoval's valet/assistant in "Lament."
- Greir does this quite a bit.
- Deconstructive Parody:
- Deconstructor Fleet: The one-off strips especially tend to mock fantasy cliches, porn cliches, or both, but can even get into mocking abstract concepts like gendered language (or abstract concepts in general).
- Depraved Homosexual: Ambassador Sandoval of Xoan, so very much.
- Distracted by the Sexy:
- A very fortunate example in "Snakeskin". Though apparently it makes something else turn to stone.
- Another example is "Lassie"; this one not so lucky.
- Distracted by My Own Sexy: Navaan's hideout is filled with her own grinning Fake Death corpses, stripped naked and posed with each other.
Navaan: Ehehe... this must look pretty vain, doesn't it?
- Does Not Understand Sarcasm: The shapeshifter trying to pay off Greir, although, from what we've seen, it's likely it's not just him.
- Dope Slap: The Sword Master. "He's also a bit of a slapmaster"
- The Sword Master returns in the "Punching above Your Weight" story... and he, of course, Dope Slaps his apprentice again in it.
- Dungeon Bypass: Nobody expects the labyrinth's guardian to escape.
- Ear Worm: In-universe example: Lute.
- Eldritch Abomination: It's only a nameless horror until you name it.
- Endless Winter: Winter lasts until the Snow Queen is... satiated. She's not villainous, but is seen as an obstacle.
- Enfant Terrible: That is one badass baby.
- Everybody Has Lots of Sex: In a world where (with a few notable exceptions) All Men Are Perverts and All Women Are Lustful, this is the obvious result.
- Everyone Calls Him Barkeep: The Mistress is known only by her title. Ivan is generally referred to as "apprentice," and Sandoval is usually just called "the Xoan Ambassador".
- Everyone Is Bi: Not quite everyone, but even the ones who aren't tend to be fairly open-minded about it.
- Everything's Better with Princesses: Subverted like crazy.
- Well, it would be, but....
- Being an actual princess is bullshit...
- Unless you're male; then it's wonderful.
- Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: No, my powers work on good people too.
- Evil-Detecting Dog: Parodied in "Heel". Unfortunately, he started using his powers for evil.
- Exact Words: The Mistress doesn't specify what she's saying no to.
- Extreme Omni Goat: They'll even eat catsuits.
- Extreme Omnisexual:
- Eyes Always Shut: Kronar the barbarian, except when showing rage or shock.
- The Mistress occasionally opens her eyes, but seems to have them closed more often than not.
- Eye Beams: The Mistress's falcon.
- Eyepatch of Power: Vanka's scarf.
- Falling in Love Montage: Anyone under the influence of the "Potion of Girlfriend" has one of these with a fetching redhead named Felicia.
- The Fair Folk: Tall, pale, long flowing hair, pointy ears, beautiful features, capricious nature, lusty, enjoys tormenting mortals... Sandoval is some sort of elven noble, and not the "nice" kind.
- A Fate Worse Than Death: Mistress is fond of coming up with these - at least when her laser-falcon doesn't ruin them.
- Faux Yay: Mistress' guard corps, according to the Lizard of Guilt. Not that it seems to make a difference...
- Fish Eyes: The dwarves are sometimes drawn with these ("Brass Knobs", "tool", "Ring of Bliss", "Cavalcade of Wonders")
- Fisher King: The Snow Queen, as satisfying her seems to bring about the start of spring.
- Flock of Wolves: Shapeshifters assassinate the king... who had been replaced by a shapeshifter of the same race, which one guy awkwardly recognizes.
- Foe Romance Subtext: In "Burning Jewels of Death", where Kronar is tied down by another character and his mooks, demanding Kronar's "submission". Kronar makes his escape through strength and brutality alone, and is regarded as magnificent for doing so.
- Fountain of Youth:
- Fridge Brilliance : An in-universe example from Greir in this strip. "It Takes a Fake Death to kill a fake god. And you figured it out." This moment is subverted soon afterward, however.
- Further brilliance: The monks worship luck, and their faith was rewarded.
- Gag Penis: Parodied in "Good Behavior".
- Gender Bender: The wizard in "Cornwalling", and also the effect of the Fountain of Girl.
- Genius Ditz: Navaan. She is perceptive enough to notice things such as disguised statues and is even able to understand specifically how to deal with a severed immortal's head without lungs despite believing that the function of a doctor is to "solve mysteries."
- Genius Loci: Parodied in Sanctuary.
What's a region need to do to get recognized in this town?
- Genre Savvy:
- Monks from Lapis Lazuli weren't until they were taught a very painful (and sexy) lesson.
- The travelers in Naiads.
- Get Out: The potion seller.
- Gladiator Games: Played with in "Sport" when the emperor decides to Take a Third Option.
- Glamour: Deconstructed here.
- God Guise: The malevolent god worshipped by the fools' cult is an inversion; a real god disguised as a fake god according to one of its followers. It looks like a bunch of people in a lousy costume when it's actually a very real and very dangerous deity. An immortal warrior found this out the hard way and lost her sword and everything below her neck for her troubles.
- God Is Evil: Several cases appear, although Sithrak for one turns out to be merely careless, despite the certainty of his believers..
- Gone Horribly Right: Only for the wizard - he went back in time to cure a plague, but because he'd done so, the reward he'd been offered was never in place to begin with.
- The Good King: King Blowjob. He rules over a "peaceful fellatiocracy," throws himself without hesitation on a sexually-frustrated man in the middle of a "cock rampage," and spares no effort to free the man from his condition when he realizes a curse is behind it.
- Groin Attack: The Giant Cockbats, though not in the traditional fashion.
- If a man attempts traditional sexual intercourse with the Snow Queen, he...suffers.
- Hates Everyone Equally: According to his followers, Sithrak, the god who tortures everyone forever after they die, regardless if they're good or evil.
- He-Man Woman Hater:
- The armourer in "Breastplate". He makes really good armor, though.
- Kronar and all of his fellows.
- He Who Fights Monsters: in The Abyss.
- Homosexual Reproduction: Kronar's bloodline has been free from woman's taint for a hundred generations, with shades of Mr. Seahorse and No Man of Woman Born, as well.
- Horny Devils: Mistress's pair of captive succubi. It's not (yet) known what they would do if she ever unchained them. One of Ivan's duties is to oil their naked bodies twice a day.
- Humanoid Abomination: For a given value of humanoid. Complete with tentacles.
- Ice-Cream Koan: The incarnation of Enlightenment in "Justice":
Enlightenment: Questions are sand in a bowl of rice. Poverty is the daughter of the silk merchant.
Man: I'm not stupid, you know! Just because I don't understand you doesn't mean I'm stupid!
- An Ice Person: The Snow Queen. Though she really is very nice.
- I Know Your True Name: Because I've just changed it. That's the power of appellomancers, name wizards: they change someone's name and consequently their nature.
- Incompatible Orientation:
- The Ambassador has made several advances towards the Apprentice, who definitely prefers women. This seems not to bother the Ambassador at all.
- The bounty huntress Greir seems to be ladies-only, but has been hit on at least twice by men (one a shapeshifter who quickly and awkwardly attempts to rectify the situation).
- Immortality Hurts: The Immortals aren't immune to injury at all, though they do at least seem to have a very high pain tolerance. At one point Morag is beheaded, and only able to describe how it happened when somebody blows air up through her severed windpipe. Word of God says she's still just a head.
- The Informant: Ivan's curse is that his semen comes to life and runs to tell the Mistress what he's been doing.
- Incredibly Lame Pun: Sheela Na Gig asks 'Is there another entrance?' Bonus humor if you know what a sheela na gig is.
- Insane Troll Logic:
- The Immodest Orgasm: Taken to its logical extreme and further in Fresh Horses.
- Impossible Thief: Vanka in Fingers.
- Insult to Rocks / Insult Friendly Fire: After slaying the fun god, Greir addresses its cultists...
Greir: If they ask about fun, tell them fun is a filthy parasite.
Navaan: As a parasite, I take offense to that.
- It Amused Me: The philosophy behind most of Mistress's actions.
- It's All My Fault: The Lizard of Guilt, appropriately enough.
- It's Always Spring: In "Tool", due to the dwarves inventing a cold-proof vibrator and giving it to the Snow Queen.
- It Was with You All Along: "Don't you see? The princess was you all along!"
- I Was Quite a Looker: Subverted in fountain of girl.
- Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique: Greir is fond of simple methods. Primarily making a quip, tying someone up, and punching them until they tell her what she needs to know.
- Jerkass Genie: He'll grant any wish, but will cut off your legs if you don't make the one he wants you to make.
- And now, his colleague, Wishing Dolly.
- Jerkass Gods: If the sacred texts of the cult of Sithrak the Gibberer are to be believed, Sithrak is downright Evil. Then one of them dies, and it turns out that Sithrak was just going through a phase when he wrote that stuff. However, the fact that he left his sadistic adolescent wangst lying around with the status of holy writ does make him a bit of a jerkass.
- Just Like Robin Hood: Parodied here. He steals from the rich, all right, and he kinda gives it to the poor, but his methods of distribution are a bit unorthodox.
- "Just So" Story: This wide-eyed youth seems fond of telling them. Referenced by both the comic title, "Just So," and the Title Text which gives his name as Rudyard.
- Lawful Stupid: Ulric the Just. If a demon-bear steals your wife, Ulric will dispense justice... by stealing the bear's wife for you.
- Leave No Survivors: Kronar plays with this here. Unfortunately, he cannot quite seem to get the terror of it right.
- Limited Special Collector's Ultimate Edition: There are two editions of "Book One": the regular edition, and a signed edition with a hand-drawn bookplate inside the front cover featuring the character of your choice. The signed edition costs $10 extra and actually is so popular that extra character options have been added over time and often end up sold out.
- Literal-Minded: A shapeshifter, trying to palm Greir off with sex in lieu of a reward, asks her what her type is. When she replies "I'm after a hot woman — voluptuous — head is a big bag of freaken' gold!", it obliges. Its attempts to talk dirty suggest it thinks she has a Money Fetish.
- Little Miss Badass: Kronar's "son".
- Logic Bomb: A simple one, but then the dwarves aren't the most sophisticated creatures around.
- Love Potion:
- Love Triangle: The balcony scene starts as type 5, but this being Oglaf, it turns into 10 and then 7 in the epilogue.
- Luke, I Am Your Father: Weaponized, sort of.
- Male Frontal Nudity: Not shy about showing it.
- Manipulative Bastard: Vanka, sometimes to impossible degrees.
- A Man Is Not a Virgin: Averted with Ivan, if only because the in-universe definition of 'virgin' is fairly strict. To the residents of Vanorva, who are all virgins, he's "the slut" and consequently the hero of some hilariously improbable fanfiction.
- Manly Gay: Kronar.
- Manly Tears: Kronar, after seeing his "son" tear apart the wolves in the pit she was thrown into.
- Mars Needs Women: Subverted, in Human Women. They appear to not know what a human woman really is.
- Matriarchy: Of the Sexy variety.
- Meaningful Name: What you'll get stuck with if you insult an Apellomancer. And it won't be flattering, either.
- Memetic Sex God : The protagonist of Prowess strip becomes one In-Universe, thanks to a magic amulet. He's not actually great; the amulet just forces people to say that he is.
- Mermaid Problem: Averted, lampshaded, and discussed along with Non Mammalian Mammaries in the Isle of Tits storyline.
Fish-folk breed by spawning. Why would they need tits?
- Mind Control: Probably more examples in the archives, but in Frog 2, a woman is "cursed to be a slut" by a witch. A very forward thinking witch, it seems — when the traditional kiss-to-cure trick is tried by a local maiden, it turns out its a case of Viral Transformation, too.
- As of the 8/26/12 update ("Slut Virus"), it seems that things have progressed around the kingdom's populace to the extent of Zombie Apocalypse levels... a very sexy zombie apocalypse...
- Mr. Seahorse: In Kronar's all-male line, this would be the case. We actually see one of them giving birth.
- Moment Killer: Everyone, in the strip appropriately titled "Moment".
- Morality Pet: Subverted by the Lizard of Guilt.
- Morton's Fork: The Ambassador tricks the Apprentice into eating a poisoned cake then offers him to suck the antidote off his penis. Turns out the antidote was poison too. Refusing doesn't save the Apprentice any suffering in the end.
- Used again in "Rite of Passage". Kids are given a rite of passage to adulthood. If you do what you are told, you will be bitten by a venomous bog beast and die in a terribly painful manner. If you refuse, you pass. If you pass, you are offered another "rite of passage" (yes, with another bog beast, and in an equally painful manner as the last). If you pass again, you are given a treasure chest. If you open it, you die because it has a bog beast in it, but at least it'll go for your face first. If you refuse... well, we don't know what happens then, but judging by the pattern, it'll include a bog beast. In summary, "Aah, kids. Fuck 'em."
- Mundane Made Awesome: Most of the dwarves' inventions.
- My Eyes Are Up Here: Parodied in "Snakeskin".
- Nature Abhors a Virgin: Not explicit, but in this world virginity seems to be both rare and something you're better off without.
- Never Live It Down: In-universe for Salome and the decapitated head. She is distinctly unhappy about this.
- Nipple and Dimed: Mistress's skimpy costumes usually cover at least two important areas... though sometimes they don't even manage that.
- In early strips, her tops were usually very sheer.
- Noble Demon: Strangely, Sandoval. He could just rape Ivan or have someone else take his virginity, but respects that Ivan's a virgin and comments that it's a "rare gem in an age of poverty". He also never uses force to get anyone into bed, preferring seduction or occasionally magic to make them willing.
- Non-Mammal Mammaries: "Heh. Snake tits."
- NSFW: More often than not. Comics that actually are work-safe are the ones with labels.
- Obsessive Love Letter: The Apprentice here started receiving odd love letters from anonymous sources, who in some cases weren't even sure of his gender. The notes quickly got rather more ridiculous.
- Obviously Evil: Sithrak is towering figure in a burning hellscape, his head a giant black, flaming skull with nails jammed in through the sockets. His religion preaches that he hates everyone equally and will torture everyone equally upon death. And then one of his followers dies, and the god is genuinely shocked by his expectations of eternal torment, and wasn't expecting anyone to be paying attention to his teen poetry. He sends said follower back to spread the word that he's not going to torment anyone, only for him to think Sithrak is trolling all his believers in a tremendous act of sadism.
- Only the Chosen May Wield: Parodied in "Noblesse Oblige."
- Operation Jealousy: Spoofed in "Envy." A woman wants to sleep with a guy to make her friends jealous. The guy thinks this isn't a very nice thing to do, and after listening to her Insane Troll Logic justifications, sleeps with "a much nicer woman, disguised as you" in order to make both the woman and her friends jealous.
- Orifice Evacuation: Ivan's semen turns into a Cumsprite whenever he ejaculates. After being so cursed, he manages to get fellatio. The predictable happens, but the woman (a virgin vampire) declares it to be adorable.
- Later, the phrase "bring out the goddess in me" takes on a whole new meaning.
- Orifice Invasion: The alien doctors' cleansssing polyp. (It only goes in the mouth, but it's clearly still unpleasant).
- We don't know exactly where the lubeworm goes but it's presumably this trope as well.
- Our Dwarves Are All the Same: Averted; Oglaf's dwarves are more like gnomes.
- Our Elves Are Better: Not all of them are good archers.
- Out, Damned Spot!
- Out with a Bang:
- One of the more unusual plays on this you're likely to find - Ivan's spooges end their "lives" by splashing on (so far) a woman's face or breasts.
- When you are a male praying mantis, odds are good this happens.
- Parental Incest: Double Subverted in "Branding". Princess Fatherfucker was cursed with that name by an "evil appellomancer".
Suitor: So... you don't fuck your father?
Princess: Err... yes... but it only started happening because of the name.
- Perp Sweating: With a sunbeam. Of course, when the "perp" has dire reason to avoid sunlight, this is more threatening than usual.
- Perverse Sexual Lust: He's using that potion wrong.
- Petite Pride: The Mistress is rather small and Greir is also modestly endowed, but they never complain about it. And commenting wouldn't be wise in either case.
- Plague Doctor: Navaan.
- Playing Cyrano: With a twist in Balcony.
- Plot Detour: Navaan falls victim to one. Given the nature of the "fun" in question, this could potentially double as Distracted by the Sexy.
Navaan: Why did nobody tell me this was on?
- Poisoned Chalice Switcheroo: The Xoan Ambassador tries to pull a poison penis switcheroo on Ivan.
- The Pollyanna: An adventurer named Umbra Wynterdarque becomes one thanks to a Ring of Optimism. Highlights include him thinking a ring that killed another adventurer instantly was just a "ring of faking your own death."
- Porn with Plot: Word of God is that the comic started out as an attempt to make pornography, until it "degenerated into sex comedy pretty much immediately."
- The Power of Friendship: Deconstructed in "Hefty Grogol". Apparently, it's better to be friends than to be enemies because it's much easier to stab your friend in the face than your enemy.
- Power Perversion Potential: Invincible Shield Maiden. Though she doesn't seem too happy with it.
- Precision F-Strike: Although the comic is loaded with swearing, one particularly precise example appears in the punchline of Also, Elves.
"Dead" Elvish Prince: For fuck's sake.
- Progressively Prettier: Ivan evolved from being a goofy looking comical character in the beginning to a genuinely hot pretty boy with ever-so curly hair. Though how much of this is Progressively Prettier and how much is simply Art Evolution is unclear.
- Pun-Based Title: One comic featuring Vanka is about a sucker in prison and the power of believing that nothing can go wrong. The title of the comic is "Conviction".
- Put on a Bus: Ivan. He's in a magical sleep.
- Rage Quit: The Automaton, a chess-playing golem.
- Rebellious Princess Incognito: "Princess activities suck!"
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: Vanka and Greir, respectively.
- Thessaly and Tristram. It's even reflected in their outfits.
- Later, Navaan and Greir team up for a storyline, to similar effect.
- The Reveal: The Funpire is none other than Navaan, an actual vampire.
- Ripple-Effect-Proof Memory: The "Chronotherapist" goes back in time to cure a plague before it starts, and then tries to claim the Standard Hero Reward. The queen, naturally, doesn't know what plague he's talking about. Out of pity he's offered a downgrade to "a handjob and a hot meal".
- Rule of Funny: Although most episodes are NSFW, the gratuitous nudity and sex plays second fiddle to this.
- Scheherezade Gambit: Deconstructed here. (Apparently if you leave the Sultan in suspense, he might do the same to you.)
- Schmuck Bait:
- Subverted in "Blue Door" and in "Book of Love". Played straight and lampshaded in "Glove". It should be noted that the schmuck in all three examples is the same guy, although he only falls for it the third time. And even then, he was pretty sure it was a trap from the start.
- In "Lair of the Trapmaster", the explorers find themselves in an empty room with nothing but the word "Overthinking" painted on the wall. They stay there the rest of the strip wondering what it means. (Subverted? Played straight? Who knows.)
- Science Is Bad: Parodied by a now-overheating passerby due to dwarves inventing a cold-proof vibrator for the Snow Queen. "Yeah, spring used to mean something before technology ruined the world."
- Brick Joke: Said passerby appears to be Ari, who had previously tried and failed to satisfy the Snow Queen in "Snowbound". Given that he lost his cock to frostbite in the attempt, it's little wonder he'd be bitter about how easy it's become.
- Screw Destiny: Apparently, you can't fight destiny... unless it's your destiny to fight destiny. When you try to fight fighting destiny by not fighting destiny... you get a knife in the throat from a pissed-off seer. "No way am I letting that little shit become king."
- Given the tone of the rest of the series, it's only a matter of time before we see this literally happen.
- Screw Yourself: The sorcerer's duplicate phantasms do this in "Mirror Image". According to the phantasms, the sorcerer usually jerks off while they do this.
- Serial Escalation: In-Universe in this comic, two warriors in a bar make Badass Boasts on how they will defeat a monster while handicapping themselves, each one more outrageous than the last. It gets to the point that the monster arrives to terrorize the bar and finds everyone inside dead from cutting themselves and everyone there apart to fulfill their bravado.
- Sex Comedy: In webcomic form.
- Shaggy Dog Story: Several, particularly the whole arc that starts with "Shaft" and seems to end in "Wake" on the words "stupid f'ing town". Justice/Atonement is another example.
- Shapeshifter Baggage: Examined in "Weeping Woods".
- Shapeshifting: They aren't too well versed in human behaviour, unfortunately.
- Shapeshifting Seducer
- A hilariously unsuccessful attempt on Greir.
- Likewise, a forest nymph seems particularly inclined toward seducing and assuming the shape of wayward princes, which backfires when it turns out one of the victims wasn't entirely honest on an important point.
- Another shapeshifter happens to be successful — despite his Brutal Honesty.
- Yet another Shapeshifting Seducer works as a Super Hero — Dopplebanger.
- Single Tear: A guard, enduring Vanka and another woman (who is now a recurring character) in a cell crudely mocking him.
"This is an enormous slur on my professional conduct."
- Sir Swearsalot: All of the fukken dwarves have fukken limited vocabularies.
- Situational Sexuality: Most of Mistress' all-female guard corps are not lesbians, but it doesn't seem to bother them.
- Snake Talk: The inhuman staff of the infirmary at the Mistress' castle speak like this.
- So Beautiful, It's a Curse: A Gaussian Girl finds her newfound beauty is not all it's cracked up to be when no suitor considers himself worthy of her beauty.
- Speed Sex: Thanks to the Wish Dolly, one man was capable of making anyone and everything cum instantly (read: people, walls, puppets, his own arm) in "Vorpal Blade" and "Habeas Corpus".
- Standard Fantasy Setting: Albeit a highly eroticized version.
- Stealth Hi/Bye: Vanka escapes from her cell after flirting with the guard outside her door. She stole the keys from him in a similarly sneaky manner.
- Story Arc: Even though this is a gag-a-week webcomic with vague storylines, we now have several arcs, sometimes broken up by other gag strips.
- Strange Minds Think Alike: "Owlbear". Upon being cornered by the eponymous predator, a man decides to out-breed it so their offspring will survive. His female companion thinks this is a brilliant idea. The owlbear anticipates this exact plan and starts saying moodkillers so they can't procreate.
- Stranger in a Familiar Land: Averted in "Felicity". Apparently turnips are just that awesome.
- Stripperiffic: The Mistress and her servants.
- In "Appeal to Heaven", devotees of the Goddess of Sex and War appeal to her for victory in battle by wearing extremely revealing armor and acting as slutty as possible.
- Take That: "Naiads" includes a rather hilarious jibe at Mountain Dew in the alt text.
- Taken for Granite:
- "Snakeshin" shows one way to avoid it.
- Terrifyingly played straight in "Pork Chisel" with the still-conscious statues.
- Might also apply to the guy in "Noblesse Oblige" - he's magically stuck for a long time, and from the fact that his pose doesn't change between panels he may be magically paralyzed as well.
- Tar and Feathers: "Prince Rodgar".
- Teach Him Anger: The titular Sword Master of "The Sword Master" strip returns with his apprentice again. This time he seeks to teach the apprentice anger for a tournament after they watch attractive women bathe, reasoning that being out of their league is highly frustrating... by telling him to masturbate to a picture of his opponent Lucius Bonecrusher until he finds him attractive? It seems Lucius practiced this as well, as at the tournament they both just blushed and started kissing each other instead of fighting. The Sword Master, outraged by his apprentice not fighting, enacts his training for himself upon the apprentice.
Sword Master: Hey! What do you think you're doing? I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP, BOY!
(Beat Panel as he pulls out a picture of his apprentice
Sword Master: Just give me a month.
- Technical Virgin: The in-universe definition of "virgin" tends to be pretty strict:
- An entire city of them!
- Ivan himself is identified as a virgin, but he by his own admittance is constantly having sexual things done to him, just nothing that breaks the technical status of his virginity. The castle doctors express concern his lack of sexual experience might end up killing him.
- Temporal Paradox: In "Chronotherapy", a healer goes back in time to heal a plague before it ravages a kingdom, then returns to the present to claim his reward from the rulers. Exceeeeept, since there was no plague in the first place, the queen has no idea what she's supposed to be rewarding him for.
- Tertiary Sexual Characteristics: If a man in Kronar's tribe gives birth to a daughter, they affix the "bow of shame" to its head and leave it to the wolves.
- Testosterone Poisoning: Kronar and his fellow warriors are very masculine, so... they reproduce by themselves, shun women and are gay.
- The Tease:
- The blonde with the hat (who as of yet still remains unnamed) takes this Up to Eleven. Her first appearance involved her mocking a prison guard through a (clothed) sexual display with Vanka. Subsequent appearances have her teasing male lovers with outrageous demands and unorthodox fetishes, such as requiring them to state a ''preamble'' before engaging in coitus.
- Mistertique is a Gender Flip.
- Mistertique and Blonde-With-Hat hooked up for "Consummate". BWH insisted that Mistertique describe in graphic detail all the ways their lovemaking could go wrong, ruining the mood for him.
- There Was a Door: Mistress' guards leave the gate open just to screw with assassins who are overly fond of Le Parkour.
- This Looks Like A Job For A Dentist: Overbite, though the dentist was just as surprised as everyone else it worked.
- Threat Backfire
- Title Drop: In "Suddenly", Oglaf, where we learn that the full title is (possibly) The Magical Adventures of Oglaf the Shepherd Boy.
- Tongue on the Flagpole:
- Too Dumb to Live:
- the guy that slew the minotaur had some... odd ideas about how the ball of yarn would help him escape the labyrinth.
- After Kronar leaves a man alive to tell the story, the man later calls Kronar a wuss for doing so. When Kronar hears and decides to kill him and his friends, leaving only one alive, they still can't resist teasing him about it. So he kills them all. And torches the tavern they're in. And stabs a few nearby trees.
- Too Kinky to Torture: Ivan — at least, Navaan seems to think so. You have to wonder how her other victims reacted to the threat of sexual intercourse with a hot woman...
- Considering that the entire city is populated with virgins who are terrified at even the possibility that someone sexually promiscuous might be running about, Navaan probably expected such threats to elicit a somewhat more fearful reaction.
- Torture Technician: A pair of them, each In Love With Each Other's Transgression.
- Totem Pole Trench: A tournament is won by a bunch of babies in a suit of armour in "Bascinet".
- Tricking the Shapeshifter: Whoops.
- True Art Is Incomprehensible: Mistertique and the Cougar Queen have an argument along these lines regarding "the secret of [his] man-pants!"
See? You cannot plumb the depths for sheer enigma! Cougar Queen:
It's not an enigma if there's nothing behind it. This is just wilful abstruseness. Mistertique: [beat]
There's no shame in admitting you don't get it. Seriously.
- Turn Undead: Though not the kind of "turning" you were thinking.
- Twincest: The first sign that the "Felicia" hallucination is beginning to break down is when Ivan sees that his hot wife has given birth to two fully-grown twins who are making out with each other.
- Underboobs: The Snow Queen.
- Unflinching Walk: Greir, Navaan, and the monks pull one of these off after torching the temple of fun.
- Unfortunate Name: Apellomancers can give these to people. Just ask Princess Fatherfucker and Captain Cockstink.
- Unlimited Wardrobe: Mistress, though all of her outfits are skimpy.
- Unlucky Everydude: Ivan the Apprentice. So very unlucky.
- Unsettling Gender-Reveal: In "Puzzlecunt", Misterique would be having this, if he could figure out the solution to the "puzzle" literally in front of his face.
- The very next strip, "Tibia", has two skeletons in a graveyard watching a couple have sex, only for the skeleton being offered some post-death sex by his fellow skeleton to turn out to be a guy. "Shit, really? You got wide hips for a guy."
- The Unsmile: Anyone affected by the Funsnake's aura gets a wide-eyed, demented grin.
- Unsound Effect: The Sword Master's Dope Slap is appropriately sound effected with SLAP!
- Unusual Euphemism: The Immaculate City's inhabitants have curious notions of what sexual terms exist, and what the real ones actually mean.
- Upper-Class Twit: The Ambassador seems to have a case of this.
- Vapor Wear: Vanka's outfit is cut low enough in front and high enough on the sides to demonstrate this ("Cryophilia", for example).
- Viewers Are Geniuses:
- What do you mean you don't get the joke in "Salome?" How did you not know that the biblical Salome's dance convinced Herod to behead John the Baptist, and that in Oscar Wilde's adaptation of the story she kisses his decapitated head?
- Not to mention Scherazade's occasional appearance.
- And of course there's the 'Golden Hind' Bordello.
- Virgin Sacrifice: Navaan has been sending virgins "out" of Vanorva to be eaten by her fellow vampires. It's not clear whether the victims have to be virgins or if virgins are just the easiest prey.
- Virgin Power:
- Visual Pun/Multiple Reference Pun: Sandoval's funeral outfit includes a bundle of sticks on his head; i.e. a faggot. Sandoval is gay. It's also mourning wood.
- Weaksauce Weakness: In "Lapis Lazuli" and next two comics. The monks learn their lesson, though.
- We Need a Distraction: Fortunately, a rodeo-bull in a giant penis suit escaping its pen should do nicely.
- Wham Episode: Kill the apprentice? Pfft, Like You Would Really Do It. Oh... oh no!
- What Have I Become?: Used word-for-word as the punchline of The Abyss.
- Whip It Good: The last panel of one strip implies that Mistress is about to put this to good use on Ivan.
- Why Don't Ya Just Shoot Him?: Averted hilariously and spectacularly on two occasions:
- She's about to torture a man in a way so horrible once you understand that it's a good thing when her pet falcon incinerates him with its laser eyes. Although this prompts her to sell the bird.
- The second time Mistress deliberately invokes it.
- Winter Royal Lady: The Snow Queen. Quite literally.
- The Wise Prince: Tristram. (His brother Thessaly is stuck being the Cynical Prince in a story that runs on Idealism.)
- Yaoi Fangirl:
- The paladin from "Rigor Mortis".
- Mistress with Sandoval and the Apprentice as well.
- Scheherazade in "Arabian Nights" too.
Sultan: Sorry, did you say "moustache"?
- Trudy Cooper herself it seems.
- Does she count as a Yuri Fan as well? Or maybe she's just an overall Sexy fan.
- Yaoi Guys:
- Kronar and his mate.
- The two guys from "Balcony" (who might bear some resemblance to Miguel and Tulio if you squint a bit).
- The "Princess" and "her" prince.
- The guys from "Arabian Nights".
- The gladiators in "Sport" apparently take requests.
- Yin-Yang Clash: A man with the power to make anyone orgasm as soon as his cock is inside them meets the man who is the world's best at blowjobs. The cock wins.
- You Can't Fight Fate: Or can you?
- You Gotta Have Blue Hair
- You Shall Not Pass: Inverted in "Ravine". Greir is not amused.
- You Won't Feel a Thing: A favorite "promise" of the Nurses.
- Zettai Ryouiki: Shows up here and there, but Greir's default outfit features Grade A.