"My name is Mary Katherine Blackwood. I dislike washing myself, and dogs, and noise. I like my sister Constance, and Richard Plantagenet, and Amanita phalloides, the death-cap mushroom. Everyone else in my family is dead."
When a mundane conversation goes bad. You're winding up a boring conversation, and throw in one last thing in there. And that one last thing was praise for Adolf Hitler, or a plan to kill the Mayor, or an offhand comment that you pick your nose, when you had been talking about options for where to eat dinner or something.
"So yeah, we'll just run out for pizza, catch a movie, maybe go out for a couple drinks, and lynch that bastard. Sound good?"
There is a commercial for Pay As You Go phones, where a cell phone from the 1980s and a pink modern cell phone are the proud parents, extolling the benefits of their new baby cell phone and how it is going to help people save money on their monthly talk, text, and data plans. And then they walk off screen to go raise some bars, if you know what I mean.
Anime and Manga
Revolutionary Girl Utena uses the camera shot version of this. A character (Our protagonist, Utena) lying in bed has what seems like a meaningless monologue about lunch until the audience realizes the scene is establishing that the character is having (or just had) sex. Then it shows with whom she had the sex (Akio, who's more or less her principal...and the villain of the series...and she's fourteen years old) which is where the squick really comes in.
Occurs several times in the Elfen Lied manga. The most notable example involves the employees of the secret lab thing making idle chit chat as their superior (who seems a genuinely likable, if eccentric, person with a love for candy sticks). The final panel reveals that whilst the coworkers are chit-chatting and eating candy, a seemingly endless train of completely uncensored dismembered diclonii torsos — complete with dangling entrails — is trundling past the window.
Ryoko Asakura complains about how Haruhi Suzumiya is not doing anything interesting and talks to Kyon about whether or not it is alright to enact a change to get a result even if it is dangerous right before trying to murder Kyon with a knife just to see how Haruhi would react, all without changing the pitch in her voice.
Parodied in one episode of Sayonara, Zetsubou-Sensei when discussing how people mention very important (and urgent) things in a casual tone. Examples included: "You're all held back for another year, see you tomorrow"; your parents explaining to your neighbor that you were an accidental child; finding out that your parents divorced last week, not bothering telling you and act like it's no big deal. The entire class decides to shout out meaningless trivialities in overly dramatic manners. Chiri decides it looks fun and joins in...By revealing she's been doping her sister with illegal injections in an overly dramatic manner, not only subverting the intent of the exercise but also revealing that doing so is apparently is a meaningless triviality to her.
Raven: Have you heard any interesting rumors lately, Mustang?
Mustang: Only the ones too absurd to be worth mentioning. Scar being sighted feeding a stray cat. A man who can't be killed no matter how hard you try. King Bradley is a homunculus...
In one episode of Neon Genesis Evangelion, Ritsuko has to make emergency modifications at one of the three main computer cores. While Misato is trying to chat with her, she is cramped inside the computer, asking for several tools during their conversation. While they talk about their past, Ritsuko first asks for a wench and then a data-pad, and then returns to her electric screwdriver. And without any explanation she picks up a circular saw and starts tearing away a large part of metal plating inside the computer core.
The English Gag Dub of Crayon Shin Chan has Shin's mother saying "You'll just waste your money on kiddy crap like trading cards, and video games, and crystal meth".
Another episode had Ai's bodyguard having a team search a lake for a kappa, but instead found "600 catfish, 1400 minnows, a Loch Ness Monster, Penny's sister Caitlin, and 500,000 copies of Eddie Murphy's "Party All the Time".
In Death Note, L does this, all without so much as looking away from the evidence received from the tape sent by "Kira".
L: "Hair, food crumbs...oh, and by the way, if I die in the next few days, your son is Kira."
In the Girls Love manga Hanjuku Joshi, Chitose is out jogging when she bumps into her teacher Ran doing the same. She asks Ran a bunch of innocent jogging-related questions, and then concludes with "Does Sensei insert her finger when doing lecherous acts with girls?" Ran carelessly answers "Yes!" before she can process what the question is.
In A Certain Scientific Railgun, two lab employees are the discussing the health of the latest Misaka clone, before ordering her to clean up about a dozen identical-to-her corpses, just recently murdered.
Mirai Nikki: At chapter 56, Yuno's feelings for the 2nd world Yukki are very confusing, so she plays a Tsundere with her unique style:
Yuno:No, no no no! I've already abandoned this Yukki!I don't like him or anything. Not only that, I'm the one trying to kill him right now!
The Pete and Brian sketch "Knock Knock" takes the classic "Priest, Rabbi and Shaman walk into a bar" joke and somehow turns it into being about how someone's Dad molested them within the space of a few sentences.
A priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar!
But there's no rabbi and no shaman * laughs* and it's actually my eighth birthday and the priest is molesting me.
Bloody Mary was standing there. 'Hajimemashitee gurl.' she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in japanese). 'BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math.' (an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!)
'It serves that fuking bich right.' I laughed angrily.
Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. 'Maybe Willow will die too.' I said.
Haruhi: What else did you learn? Back to the beginning...I know you mentioned that you had some martial arts training, too?
Yakuza Princess: All proper things! Tea ceremony, calligraphy, social behaviors, ninkyo dantai formality, martial arts, interrogations...that kinds of stuff.
ThisAxis Powers HetaliaKink Meme fill, where Canada is complaining about America; "Never thinks about the consequences, whether it's picking fights, or spending, or eating, or invading his neighbor..."
"Kitchens," Arthur says. "Then the next room's the canteen. [...] Toilets," Arthur says, poking a thumb over his shoulder in the general direction of where the washrooms might allegedly be. "Showers, too. Sometimes the dodgier orderlies spend time there. If you want something from the outside world, suck their cock. They bring you whatever you want if you do."
He realized it was really a lovely Sunday morning. The sky was clear, with only some little clouds showing here and there. It was getting warmer now, springtime was near. He had a nice little house, with two well furnished bedrooms, a comfortable bed, a simple but welcoming living room, coffee waiting for him in his convenient kitchen and a dead body at his front door. Everything was perfect. Everything was silent. His mind went blank, as he slowly got the meaning of "Dead body at my front door".
Calvin describing the "lady things" his mother would shop for:
"You know, makeup, lipstick, whips; that sort of thing."
In "The Transmitter Conspiracy Part 1", Brainstorm's ransom note goes as follows:
"Dear Calvin, I, Dr Brainstorm, have kidnaped your friend, Hobbes, and in exchange for his safe return, you must surrender all of your inventions. BWA, HA, HA, HA, HA! Sincerely, Dr Brainstorm. PS, Jack says 'Hi'."
Then there's this from "A Day in Your Shoes":
Calvin: Nice day today for a game of Calvinball. Hobbes: Yep, the sun is shining, the grass is soft, the birds are singing, Dr Brainstorm and Sheila have a giant pile of inventions at either end of the field...
The God Squad has this exchange, which hilariously subverts the usual "Wait, what?" response:
Luna But now that I've been to Ponyville, I decided that I need to see all of Equestria! I want to see the mountains and the plains and the Changeling hive so I can beat their Queen up and the great cities and the tiny hamlets-
Shining Armor: Wait... what was that last part?
Luna: Changeling hive?
Shining Armor: No, the... (blinks, surprised that Luna didn't play dumb)
The song "Pinkie's Brew" from Friendship is Witchcraft is probably one of the more literal examples, as its about baking a time spell. It features such ingredients as figs, butter, cinnamon, eye-of-newt and seapony tears.
Bread and butter, chant and mutter, Marination, incantation, Chocolate icing, time-line splicing, Yeast is rising, rectifying...
Friendship is Witchcraft also has Applejack give Princess Molestia the following advise on how to increase her sex appeal:
Applejack: Take a shower! Wear deodorant. Breathe through your nose. Throw some spiders!
Molestia: I feel like that stopped making sense...
This note at the end of Chapter 7 of The Prayer WarriorsThe Titans Strike Back. Granted, the author's saying this comes off as less of a surprise than most examples of this, given his hatred of liberals and Obama, but it's still fairly jarring compared to the previous items.
GOD BLESS THE UNITED REPUBLIC OF THE ENTIRE IRELAND
GOD BLESS SAINT PATRICK AND THE HOLY ALCOHOLIC CHURCH
GOD BLESS THE HOLY UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!
GOD BLESS US ALL AND FOR THE FUTURE REPUBLICAN PRESIDENT
In Beauty and the Beast, The Beast asks Cogsworth for advice on what to give Belle. Cogsworth replies "Flowers, chocolates...promises you don't intend to keep..."
Doubly awesome considering that David Ogden Stiers, Cogsworth's voice actor, ad-libbed this end to the line just to be funny. Expecting to get a laugh and then re-record it, the director loved it and kept it in.
Loretta in Moonstruck, making her weekly confession: "Twice I used the name of the Lord in vain, once I slept with my fiance's brother, and once I bounced a check at the liquor store. But that was an accident really."
Valentine in MirrorMask: "My mother always said, 'It's a dog-eat-dog world, son. You get them before they get you. Eat your greens. Don't embarrass me in front of the neighbors. I think it would be best if you just leave and please never come back again!' (pause) She wasn't even my real mother. She bought me from a man..."
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: Willy Wonka starts to sing (badly) about their impending boat voyage, which ramps up and up until he's screaming about the gates of hell.
There's a bit in The Aristocrats (the humor is Squick in its own right) where Sarah Silverman shares her "true story" of working in a theater troupe like the eponymous Aristocrats. Then she shares her account of rehearsing with Joe Franklin, a legendary vaudevillian agent who's been glorified throughout the work...but as the tale goes on, she eventually reveals, "Joe Franklin raped me."
Hell, Sarah Silverman's shtick in general often involves this.
In The Mask, when the eponymous character is being searched by the police. The items: really big sunglasses, Nerf ball, bike horn, small-mouthed bass, bowling pin, mousetrap, rubber chicken, funny eyeball glasses ("I've never seen those before in my life!"), and a bazooka. ((calmly) "I have a permit for that.")
The cherry-on-top: a picture of the arresting lieutenant's wife, in lingerie with the words, "Call me lover" hand-written on the bottom.
The Mask: Uh-oh! Calloway: Margaret! You son of a bitch! The Mask: Geez, I figured you had a sense of humor. After all — YOU MARRIED HER!
American Pie: After several mundane (and utterly boring) stories from band camp, we are treated to this:
Michelle: "This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute up my pussy!"
Prince Humperdinck: Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work, but I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I'm swamped.
The squick is not so out of place when you consider he's declining Rugen's invitation to observe Westley being tortured.
The scene in Red Eye where Jack reveals his occupation counts, not so much in that it's a list of things, but because it comes up in the middle of an until that point very pleasant conversation.
The Wayne's World films contain a few examples of this trope. Almost all of Ed O Neill's character Glenn's dialogue in both films, in fact. From the second film:
Glenn: So Wayne, I hear you're putting on some kind of concert. That's good. People need to be entertained, they need the distraction. I wish to God that someone would be able to block out the voices in my head for five minutes, the voices that scream, over and over again: "Why do they come to me to die? Why do they come to me to die?"
Or, also in the second movie, from super-roadie Del:
Del: So there I am, in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at about 3 o'clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door, and mentions there's a little sweets shop on the edge of town. So - we go. And - it's closed. So there's me, and Keith Moon, and David Crosby, breaking into that little sweets shop, eh. Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big Bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shop owner and his son...that's a different story altogether. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes. Nasty business, really. But, sure enough, I got the M&Ms, and Ozzy went on stage and did a great show.
Also from the second movie, one scene has Wayne chatting with a Swedish secretary. He impresses her with his knowledge of Sweden obtained while writing a report in eighth grade, and then tells her how the next day at school, he had diarrhea on the trampoline in gym class.
In Cruel Intentions, Casanova Sebastian Valmont is temporarily forced to help out in an old people's home against his will. While sitting in an armchair and chatting idly with Ms. Sugarman, an elderly sufferer of Senile Dementia, he casually tells her that earlier in the day they played backgammon and that she won three times before adding "And I fucked your daughter." Ms. Sugarman says "What?" to which Sebastian answers with a Cat Smile, "I said would you care for some water?"
In Shaun Of The Dead, Shaun comes home and asks his friend Ed if they've had any calls. Ed answers that Shaun's girlfriend Liz phoned to make sure that Shaun had made plans to eat out, before adding "...then your mum phoned to ask if I wanted to eat her out."
The Blues Brothers: Jake's personal effects, handed back to him after three years in prison. "...One hat, black. One Timex digital watch, broken. One unused prophylactic. One soiled..."
The Addams Family: As Morticia is doing inventory of the various sacks from a cupboard:
Freakshow: Gonna take me a while to fix up your car there, so if you boys'd like to go on inside, get yourself something to drink, worship, fuck my wife, watch TV... anything you want. Mi casa es su casa!
Dr. Vadar from Rock and Roll High School Forever inverts this by making smoking one of the three least punishable offenses in her list of new rules, all based around making life a living hell for the rock-enjoying students of Ronald Reagan High School, and putting singing right up there with the most punishable. That's right—she considers singing, a perfectly innocuous thing to do, as more offensive than smoking, which can potentially harm your lungs and kill you.
Discussed in Taking Lives when Angelina Jolie's character reads to a murder suspect a list of nouns that goes something like "pants, car, house, cat, rape, incest, murder", explaining that a person's brainwaves react in a certain way to words such as the last three unless they are a sociopath.
In Christmas Vacation, Clark suggests to Eddie things he could do for him like give him a snack, refill his eggnog "drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead."
Joker: I wanted to see exotic Vietnam... the crown jewel of Southeast Asia. I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture... and kill them. I wanted to be the first kid on my block to get a confirmed kill.
Death Race features a subtle example, when the textual introduction to the race itself warns about "Graphic content including but not limited to violence, coarse language, and death."
Serenity opens with one of these. "This is the captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then... explode."
Jamaica Kinkaid's poemnote Or whatever. It's one of those. "Girl" has a mother advising her daughter:
"This is how to make a bread pudding; this is how to make doukona; this is how to make pepper pot; this is how to make a good medicine for a cold; this is how to make a good medicine to throw away a child before it even becomes a child"
Bateman: "I've heard of post-California cuisine. In fact, I've eaten it. No baby vegetables? Scallops in burritos? Wasabi crackers? Am I on the right track? And by the way did anyone ever tell you that you look exactly like Garfield but run over and skinned and then someone threw an ugly Ferragamo sweater over you before they rushed you to the vet? Fusilli? Olive oil on Brie?"
In Mark Twain's The War Prayer, the prayer itself starts out like a standard, pious prayer, but quickly goes wrong when the petitioner prays to "help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds". A bit of an inversion, though; although the beginning and end of the prayer are normal, the bulk of it is completely twisted.
In ''The Austere Academy'' Klaus's teacher makes her students measure various "ordinary objects: a frying pan, a picture frame, the skeleton of a cat."
Of Cafe Salmonella (a restaurant that serves only salmon dishes), the narrator has this to say: "There's nothing particularly wrong with salmon of course, but, like caramel candy, strawberry yogurt, and liquid carpet cleaner, if you eat too much of it, you are not going to enjoy your meal."
In Desperation by Stephen King, a state trooper (who turns out to be possessed by Tak) casually inserts the words "I'm going to kill you" into the middle of the Miranda rights he recites to a couple he arrested. And he does just that to the husband several minutes later.
Also by Stephen King, this trope is the crux of the short story The Man Who Loved Flowers (published in the anthology Night Shift).
In one chapter of his incomplete autobiographyThe First Third, Neal Cassady casually relates three episodes from his childhood and the lessons he learned from them. One was about thawing frozen hands with cold water rather than hot, the second was about using the bathroom, and the third was about how he just barely escaped being raped by a strange man on the way home from school by attacking him and running for his life. Much of the book reads like this, actually, with casual unexamined inserts about poverty and abuse slipped in between detailed descriptions of places and people he knew.
One of the first things we hear about Lisbeth Salander, Anti-Hero of The Millennium Trilogy, is that she was once asked by her boss at the security and investigation company she was working for to prepare a standard report on a researcher for a pharmaceutical company. The report was supposed to take about a week but dragged on for over a month, with her ignoring repeated reminders. She then silently and without warning handed him a report that, without changing tone at all, segued from the usual information about the subject's life and background to the fact that he had visited a child prostitute. She had pictures. And an interview with the girl.
Accourding to her boss this wasnt the only case where something similar happened. He really doesn't like the fact that Lisbeth doesn't give warning about what the reports might contain since he sometimes reviews them over dinner.
"A Study In Emerald" contains a really creepy example. Our protagonist describes the three plays that make up The Strand Players' performance: a wacky Mistaken Identity comedy, a melodrama about a starving urchin who's Too Good For This Sinful Earth, and a historical epic about the Old Ones awakening and conquering humanity, with the human hero welcoming them and beating to death the one man who tries to resist. And the entire audience, including our protagonists, loudly applauds all three. It's this exact moment when you realize how completely alien this Alternate History is.
Also by the same author,Only the End of the World Again features an overtly long example. Albeit it's more Bread, Squick, Eggs, Squick, Milk:
There was a note under the door from my landlady. It said that I owed her for two week's rent. It said that all the answers were in the Book of Revelation. It said that I made a lot of noise coming home in the early hours of this morning, and she'd thank me to be quieter in future. It said that when the Elder Gods rose up from the ocean, all the scum of the Earth, all the non-believers, all the human garbage and the wastrels and deadbeats would be swept away, and the world would be cleansed by ice and deep water. It said that she felt she ought to remind me that she had assigned me a shelf in the refrigerator when I arrived and she'd thank me if in the future I'd keep to it.
''At eight o' clock on Thursday morning Arthur didn't feel very good. He woke up blearily, got up, wandered blearily round his room, opened a window, saw a bulldozer, found his slippers, and stomped off to the bathroom to wash.
It goes on, including lines like "The word bulldozer wandered through his mind in search of something to connect with. The bulldozer outside the kitchen window was quite a big one. He stared at it. "Yellow," he thought, and stomped back to his bedroom to get dressed." He eventually gets the picture and tries to stop the bulldozers from demolishing his house for a bypass.
On the way back (the people of Krikkit) sang a number of tuneful and reflective songs on the subjects of peace, justice, morality, culture, sport, family life and the obliteration of all other life forms.
anyway, i really need this job, which means i can't do things like yell or pin my stupid name tag upside down or wear jeans that have rips in them or sacrifice puppies in the toy aisle. [sic]
The special nature-bending libraries of Discworld, mean that "the three rules of the Librarians of Time and Space are: 1) Silence; 2) Books must be returned no later than the date last shown; and 3) Do not interfere with the nature of causality."
The bailey was exquisitely decorated: I had lights all over the brush and lutenists sitting up on the palisades, I had the best of the sweet soups served there on the clothed table, I had my pageboys, five of them, hoisted up on pikes, and yet I was abandoned by all of my companions, even Istvan!
The In Death series: Purity in Death artfully describes Asshole Victim Chadwick Fitzhugh like this..."His hobbies were travel, fashion, gambling, and seducing young boys."
In the final novel of the Star Trek Vanguard series, Cerventes Quinn has been banned from most of Vanguard station's drinking establishments for such offenses as picking fights, failing to pay his tab...and urinating over the bar.
In Catalyst, Kate lists her younger brother's hobbies as trombone, soccer and masturbation.
Live Action TV
In Smallville, Oliver once described Davis as "tall, dark and Doomsday".
"To good friends!" "To good times!" "And to ritualistic murder..." all:"TO REG!"
"Whole lotta milk-a. Bell Biv DeVoe. Your mother's cheatin' on me."
There's also a sketch in which an actress accepting an award actually does thank Hitler.
In Scarecrow And Mrs King, a brainwashed Lee begins making daily to-do lists. One of these lists contains, amongst mundane items, the entry "Shoot Billy".
On an episode of America's Dumbest Criminals, a man's house has been robbed, and he calls the police. He lists the various things that have been stolen: his wife's jewelry, his computer terminal, his TV, his VCR, his bag of dope...
One excellent example — she decides to impart a lesson about generosity to the brothers Crane by telling them about an encounter with a poor old man on the street. Long story short, she helpfully tells him, "that's not how you spell 'fellatio.'"
A food-serving alien under the control of a demonic figure in the Doctor Who episode "The Impossible Planet" is listing the menu of a space-station canteen when it casually mentions "The Beast and his armies will rise from the pit to make war against God...Apologies. I meant I hope you enjoy your meal".
The First Doctor serial "The Romans":
Vicki: Oh something else I forgot to tell you: I think I've poisoned Nero.
Doctor: Really. WHAT?
In "Closing Time", regarding Craig's infant son:
The Doctor: Yes, he likes that...Alfie. Though personally, he likes to be called Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All. [cue ominous musical sting, then the soundtrack continues normally]
The anti-bodies from "Let's Kill Hitler".
"You may experience a tingling sensation and then death."
In Gilmore Girls, the episode about Spring Break had the following exchange between Rory (the daughter) and Lorelai (the Mom):
Rory: It was interesting, you know. We sat on the beach, went to a club, watched the Power of Myths, Paris and I kissed...
Lorelai: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, stop. You watched the Power of Myths? I hid that from you.
Bob Fossil's frequent examples of this in The Mighty Boosh. One of the best: The Hitcher's massive thumb's backstory, related while driving through the dark and ominous Forest of Death. His long and cheery reminiscence culminates with him smashing in the head of the shaman that helped him, just to get out of the bill.
To be fair, it was 5 Euros. And you won't see penny one from me, boy!
The "Lumberjack Song" devolves from a celebration of outdoorsy pursuits to cross-dressing, to the dismay of the chorus.
Mr. Figgis's list of immortal composers:
"Beethoven, Mozart, Chopin, Liszt, Brahms, Panties...I'm sorry...Schumann, Schubert, Mendelssohn and Bach."
In Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Andrew went to the butcher shop and ordered a bunch of pieces of steak, some pork chops, eight quarts of pigs' blood (which he needed for an evil magical ritual), and a toothbrush. The butcher reacted with a scowl to one of these items, saying, "This is a butcher shop. We don't sell toothbrushes."
At one point, Mayor Richard Wilkins III is shown holding a checklist containing several mundane tasks for a mayor (meet with PTA, etc.) with "Become Invincible" thrown in.
Angel: Doyle's ex-wife Harriet prepares to marry into a family of apparently humanized, peaceful demons who nonetheless make, um, unusual wedding preparations. Harriet's prospective father-in-law reads from the to-do list: "First we greet the man of the hour. Then we drink. We bring out the food. Then we drink. Then comes the stripper, darts, and then we have the ritual eating of the first husband's brains, and then charades." The demon family, of course, objects to the charades.
JD: You've had a tough day at the office, so you come home, make yourself some dinner, smother your kids, pop in a movie, maybe have a drink. It's fun, right? Wrong. Don't smother your kids.'
Elliot is pretty prone to this. "Maybe we can do something a little less girly, like bowling or paint ball or Fight Club..."
Many of her stories of friends and relatives seem normal enough, but then end with the subject abruptly hanging themselves. Her friends have come to expect this.
"Possible side effects of kittens may include sneezing, tiny scratches, and erectile dysfunction."
The Janitor describing his trip to China and doing the "normal" touristic things: "Visited the Great Wall, ate the food, and had a baby with a local."
A Little Britain sketch has a tour guide of a rural area enliven his stories of the place by pointing out where he and his wife had their first kiss, and go on to tell where they first had oral and anal sex as well.
In Modern Family episode 4, after a speech by Haley's boyfriend revealing his Hidden Depths, her family encourages him to play one of the songs he's written. The innocently titled "In the Moonlight", which he says he wrote for Haley, draws them in with an innocuous first verse before becoming blatant Intercourse with You.
On the season one episode of Titus called "Mom's Not Nuts," Titus names off the three things that will get you out of a mental hospital: "good behavior, a clean psychiatric record...an axe." (the third of which is what Titus's mom used).
Titus used this trope a lot, especially when his mother (a bipolar schizophrenic) is referenced. A season one episode has the cast eating a meal prepared by his mother. He lists his favorite dishes prepared by his mother:
Christopher (obviously under the influence of drugs): Nobody makes turkey dinner like my mom. Those little pilgrim cookies with the little chocolate suits, homemade candy, candied yams, yam covered ham, cranberry jam in the shape of a can...(takes a bite of food, and then spits something into his palm)...spit a pill into my hand.
In How I Met Your Mother, Ted recounts his attempt to get his upstairs neighbors to stop "playing the bagpipes," and then losing his nerve when he finds out they're an old couple: "I didn't have the heart to tell them to stop, so I talked with them for a while, had a hard candy, nodded politely at some racist comments, and then I left." A bit of an inversion since Ted, not the neighbors, is the one uncomfortable with the squick part.
In the episode "Chain of Yelling", each character is giving Marshall advice on how to deal with his boss, who screams at him when angry. Lilly's advice starts off as a kind, kindergarten teacher approach to things, then ends with Marshall (actually Lilly pretending to be Marshall in a fantasy scene) and his boss talking about nailing his wife
In the episode "Homewreckers" where Ted buys a house that needs a lot of fixing, his contractor mentions the expected: Mold, vermin, and water damage, before mentioning a hobo.
In Fringe, Walter's lists of required materials for his various experiments are either this trope, Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking, or some other comic mixture of the variously esoteric and the incongruously mundane.
In the episode "Messages from Earth", Marcus Cole is beginning a fairly standard status report but when he notices that Ivanova is not paying attention to it he starts to derail it: "There's always the threat of an attack by say, a giant space dragon. The kind that eats the sun once every 30 days. It's a nuisance, but what can you expect from reptiles? Did I mention that my nose is on fire? And that I have 15 wild badgers living in my trousers?" [Ivanova glares at him] "I'm sorry would you prefer ferrets?"
Invoked by Ambassador Molari when talking with Lord Reefa, when the former tries to convince the latter to break up with the Shadows: "[You will do so] Because I have asked you. And because your loyalty to our people should be greater than your ambition. And because I have poisoned your drink."
In Seinfeld's "The Yada Yada", Jerry's love interest Beth (Debra Messing) appears to agree with him on the superfluity of dentists...only to add that dentists were worse than "the blacks and the Jews". Afterwards, when Elaine asks Jerry where Beth is, he answers "she went to get her head shaven".
Jim: Now come on, Heather, what's in the brownies?
Heather: Sugar, eggs, chocolate, marijuana, flour, and walnuts.
Gordon:[outraged] You've been feeding us WALNUTS?!
Phoebe Buffay's back story speech in the first episode of Friends
Phoebe: You're welcome. I remember when I first came to this city. I was fourteen. My mom had just killed herself and my step-dad was back in prison, and I got here, and I didn't know anybody. And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside port authority, and then he killed himself, and then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel.
Phoebe uses this one fairly often.
Phoebe: I also have to find a new video store, a new bank, new adult book store, a new grocery store...
Charlie Brooker: Which isn't to say the world itself is horrible. It's still full of sunshine and flowers and cuddly creatures you'd like to have sex with, like this rabbit. Cor, look at this rabbit...
The A-Team: In the Season 4 episode "Members Only", Murdock starts giving Hannibal a tour of a country club (Murdock goes there often as his psychiatrist's guest) and then discovers a plot point:
Murdock (sounding posh): The tennis courts are night-lit, there's an extra putting green there, that's the front nine, and that's Faceman chasing someone into the rough. * cut to Face running after someone*
The Psych episode "An Evening With Mr. Yang" does this with the pictures in the Psych office. Picture of Gus, picture of Shawn, picture of Gus and Shawn, TERRIFIED GAGGED VICTIM.
The "Timeslides" episode of Red Dwarf has this lovely excerpt from the diary of one Adolf Hitler:
Jeff: Yes, and I'm hoping that our friendship will yield certain advantages: academic guidance, moral support, every answer to every test for every one of the classes I'm taking...
Also, "Jesus loves marijuana and drinking human blood"
There is another series of Saturday Night Live sketches that basically revolves around this trope. It features four men in a bar (or a car, in a recent one) who tell gradually more disturbing tales (all of them treating the stories as perfectly normal events) about where they were when they heard a popular song (such as "Danny's Song," "Garden Party," "To Be With You," and "Breakfast At Tiffany's"), culminating in them committing some unsettling atrocity in whatever setting they occupy.
The first one on the season 32 episod hosted by Rainn Wilson ended with the quartet holding everyone in the bar at gunpoint, a la the gun-toting couple from Pulp Fiction.
The second one on the last episode of season 34 hosted by Zach Braff ended with the men stripping in short pants.
The third one on the season 33 episode hosted by Ashton Kutcher ended with the men dressing up as The Village People and dancing to "YMCA".
The fourth one on the season 34 episode hosted by Paul Rudd had Jason Sudeikis's character finding a gun in the glove compartment and wondering if it's loaded. The gun goes off and hits Bill Hader's character instantly. Everyone laughs.
The fifth one on the season 34 episode hosted by Bradley Cooper appears to take place at a bar during someone's wedding (the dialog makes it sound like the four guys are losing their friend to a controlling wife) but at the end...It reveals that they're at a funeral...and they've been drinking over the coffin and they are also the pallbearers and accidentally drop the coffin as they carry it.
The sixth (and so far, last one) on the season 35 episode hosted by Ryan Philippe revealed that all four men are Tea Party members protesting against Barack Obama.
The Bill Brasky sketches utilize this as well, with a group of drunkards telling outlandish stories about Bill, while each of them takes turns interjecting with something uncomfortable and completely unrelated, like "I'm wearing a diaper!" or "My uncle Hal molested me!"
Another sketch featured a company asking their employees what they could do to make more money. The employees who answer their questions get increasingly goofier, like a mounted tiger head and a gigantic turkey sub.
"You will serve me my meals, and you will clean the Dark Castle... You will dust my collection and launder my clothing... You will fetch me fresh straw when I'm spinning at the wheel... OH! And you will skin the children I hunt. For their pelts."
*Belle drops a tea cup*
"...That one was a quip. Not serious!" *giggles*
In Burn Notice when Michael explains to his mother how Fiona is doing in jail. "She's tired, she's scared, and she's not eating enough... and somebody's trying to kill her."
The first line in the first episode of Burn Notice "Covert intelligence involves a lot of waiting around. Know what it's like being a spy? Like sitting at your dentist's reception area 24 hours a day. You read magazines, sip coffee, and every so often, someone tries to kill you."
In How to Irritate People, John Cleese criticises the Pepperpots for their lack of subtlety. "It's like, for example, going to a football game and cheering for a team that isn't playing, or wearing fancy dress at a funeral, or setting fire to Julie Andrews. It's irritating, but it's obvious."
The trope appears in a sketch in Full Frontal in which a priest is totally unfazed by something you'd think would count as squick to him.. The mild-mannered priest is reading the Lotto numbers and making a Bible reference appropriate for each. "The first number is 10. There were 10 Commandments. 10. The second number is 3. There were 3 wise men. 3. The third number is 12. There were 12 Apostles. 12. The fourth number is 69. Two people having oral sex. 69."
In one of the Doctor Who Magazine "Space-Time Telegraph" spoof news columns, it was reported that World Distributors would be releasing a Torchwood Annual (a parody of World's Doctor Who annuals of the seventies; aimed at very young kids, and apparently written by people who'd once had the series described to them). Amongst the features listed were "Where's Owen?"; "Gwen's Spacey Space Quiz"; and "Jack and Ianto's Stopwatch Game".
"Weird Al" Yankovic's song "Hardware Store" includes a long list of items that can be found at the eponymous establishment — including, apparently, "automatic circumcisers."
"Good Old Days". Presented as the sentimental nostalgic ramblings of the singer about his Norman Rockwell-style childhood, every verse ends with psychopathic assault against some innocent.
"Why Does This Always Happen To Me?", when Al talks about disturbing things happening around him without those things being the concern of the verse.
"I Remember Larry" recounts several pranks made upon the singer and the people of his town, which start out innocuous enough (okay, so the Ben-Gay in the jock-strap is kind of mean), and descends into somewhat less harmless ideas ("You know I couldn't help but laugh/Even though he treated me like slime/Remember when he cut my car in half?/Well, he really got me good that time!") and ends with the singer reminiscing cheerfully about his brutal murder of Larry, promptly followed by the disposal of the corpse. Funny song, mostly.
Al's parody of "Complicated," which ends with the singer describing all of the problems that came after he decapitated himself on a roller coaster. (It was "quite a drag.")
"Do I Creep You Out?" Which opens up as a sweet love song and keeps to the sweet tune while the singer confesses all the creepy, stalkerish things he has done to the subject of his affections (Taking her gum out of the garbage, following her home from work).
And of course "One More Minute", a nice swinging doo-wop number..."So I pulled your name out of my rolodex/and tore all of our pictures in two/and I burned down the malt-shop where we used to go/just because it reminds me of youuuuu"
Aw, hell, why don't we just sum it up by saying "every single love song Weird Al has ever written (with the possible exception of 'Airline Amy')"
'Airline Amy' is about a guy who falls in love with a random flight attendant and begins stalking her by looking up her flight schedule and buying a ticket on every flight to which she's assigned. Sounds pretty squick to me.
Used long before by Tom Lehrer, in songs like My Home Town (which begins with idyllic reminiscences of his home town and quickly slides into recalling "the man who took a knife/and monogrammed his wife") or Be Prepared which exhorts Boy Scouts to be prepared for all situations...such as smoking dope and pimping out their own sisters.
'I Hold Your Hand In Mine' sounds romantic, up to the lyrics "My joy would be complete, dear/If only you were here/But still I keep your hand/As a precious souvenir." And: "I hold your hand in mine, dear/I press it to my lips/I take a healthy bite from your dainty fingertips".
His song "The Old Dope Peddler" sings admirably of the cornerstone of any neighborhood, the Heroin Dealer.
"I Wanna Go Back To Dixie" does this as well. It's mostly an almost sweet, happy song about wanting to go back home...but it's after he includes the line "Ol' times are not forgotten/Whuppin' slaves and selling cotton" that it gets dark.
"Poisoning Pigeons In The Park" starts off like a lovely ode to springtime and young love, but when he suddenly starts the chorus, the song takes a major left turn into this trope, along with some Soundtrack Dissonance because of the song still being sung the same way, despite the lyrics.
"The Future Soon" by Jonathan Coulton starts as a slice-of-life love story where the nerdy narrator fails to attract the girl he loves. It ends with him returning home as a cyborg Mad Scientist and turning her into his robot bride (or rather, it ends with him daydreaming about it; it's implied that most of the song was the narrator's fantasy).
JoCo loves this trope. "Better", "Betty and Me", and "I Crush Everything" all turn creepy partway through.
"Re: Your Brains" starts with the simple conversation, "Heya Tom, it's Bob from the office down the hall. Good to see you, buddy. How've you been? Things have been okay for me except that I'm a zombie now." The entire song is basically a mixture of soul-draining office lingo and a desire to munch on BRAINS!
Stephen Lynch's "Best Friend's Song" starts off as friendly telling of the differences among friends, and decends into a confession of wanting to take part in violent sex with the other friend's pubescent sister.
Stephen Lynch's whole career is built on that trope.
"Like a Boss" by The Lonely Island is a list of events in the eponymous boss's average day at work. The events start out mundane ("talk to corporate, approve memos...") but grow increasingly disturbing and improbable as the song goes on, eventually ending with him turning into a jet, bombing the Russians, and flying into the sun. The person reviewing the boss correctly points out that he "chops [his] balls and die[s]" every day.
But he does not suck his own dick every day.
"After Party" is sort of a Spiritual Sequel to the above, where the narrator describes being caught in a cycle of living a lifestyle of debauchery, giving it up, then falling back into his old habits again - habits that start out with mundane things like drinking and partying but eventually involve drinking snake blood and slithering in the dirt or losing his hand in a game of craps. They even lampshade the similarities, since both songs refer to having sex with giant fish in sewers.
Tim Minchin's song "If I Didn't Have You" features a claim that love grows with time, "like a flower, or a mushroom, or a guinea pig, or a vine, or a sponge, or bigotry...or a banana."
Minchin has an entire song devoted to this trope: "If You Really Loved Me", which follows its title line with "you'd let me video you while you wee" and also includes this pearler:
We go together like crackers and Brie Like racism and ignorance Like niggers and RnB
Minchin's poem "Angry (Feet)" quickly descends into this as the somewhat shy narrative becomes marked with shouted expletives and Freudian slips, revealing that the narrator is a recovering mental patient with a hair-trigger temper, a much-despised family, and a love of guns and porn. The whole thing concludes with the point of the poem... this:
And my (QUACK!) Doctor would be proud Because I feel a lot less angry And I'm saying stuff out loud And I'm letting anger out Like today in our last session When I taught the quack a lesson 'Cause he said I'm not progressin' Said I wasn't moving forward So I said "Let's see how you move without your fuckin' legs" And I tied him to his chair And I pulled out my machete And I listened to him beg And then I cut his fuckin' feet off While he laid there bleeding I used his feet to kick him in the head
The Lemon Demon song "Ode to Crayola" begins as a cute tribute song to goofily-named Crayola crayons. Then it turns weird:
I'm gonna rise at dawn, with no clothes on, and color on my skin
Colors of life and love, from Heaven above, absolve me of my sin
The song "Diane" by Hüsker Dü surely qualifies. The first verse:
Hey little girl, wanna go for a ride?
There's room and my wagon is parked right outside
We can cruise down Robert Street all night long
But I think I'll just rape you and kill you instead
The tone of The Decemberists' "July, July!" abruptly changes in the first verse:
"There is a road that meets the road that goes to my house And how the green grows there And we've got special boots to beat the path to my house And it's careful and it's careful when I'm there And I say your uncle was a crooked French Canadian And he was gut-shot running gin And how his guts were all suspended in his fingers And how he held 'em, how he held 'em, held 'em in"
Also "The Chimbley Sweep", which starts as a tragic song about the hard life of, well, a chimney sweep, and suddenly veers into Shotacon-esqueBawdy Song territory in the final verse:
"O lonely urchin," the widow cried "I've not been swept since the day my husband died!" Her cheeks a-blushin', her legs laid bare, And shipwrecked there I'll shake you from your sleep
And "Yankee Bayonet":
"Heart-carved tree-trunk, Yankee bayonet, a sweetheart left behind" "Far from the hills of the sea-swelled Carolinas, that's where my true love lies" "Look for me when the sun-bright swallow sings upon the birch-bough high" "But you are in the ground with the wolves and the weevils all a-chew on your bones so dry"
"Los Angeles, I'm Yours" starts out being about how wonderful Los Angeles is, and then starts talking about "the smell of burnt cocaine, the dolour and decay". Also, in the second verse:
The Decemberists are the kings of squick in their songs in GENERAL. May I direct you to The Rake's Song.
"Charlotte I buried after feeding her foxglove Dawn was easy, she was drowned in the bath Isaiah fought but was easily bested Burned his body for incurring my wrath"
In the last verse of the same song, the narrator insisted that killing his three children doesn't really bother him at all.
"Nothing But Sunshine" by Atmosphere starts out discussing the narrator's troubled childhood and how he has developed into a well-adjusted adult nonetheless, until he mentions that he enjoys recreationally murdering cows with his bare hands. The song then becomes a brief skit in which we hear him do just that.
"Weinerschnitzel", by Descendents, consists of a 13-second fast food order. The order seems normal enough, until the counter guy asks if the purchaser wants sperm with that.
The song "Prayer to God" by Shellac:
To the one true God above, here is my prayer. Not the first you've heard, but the first I wrote (Not the first, but the others were a long time ago) There are two people here, and I want you to kill them.
Logan Whitehurst's song "The Ice Cream Man" starts off innocently enough, with Logan walking down Main Street and looking for some ice cream. It just so happens that the eponymous ice cream man is there. Then this happens:
Then I hear the voices in my head Whispering to me, "Kill, kill, kill the ice cream man"...
YouTube lists the gender and age of the 3 biggest audiences for each video under video statistics. Pretty much every music video by any female teen star will list the following 1: Female (13-17), 2: Female (18-25), 3: Male (35-44).
Maybe more Fridge Horror, if you consider that the guys in category 3 are about the age that their daughters (and their friends) will belong in category 1.
Simon & Garfunkel's "The Sun is Burning", which, for the first three verses is describing a nice day out in suburbia, but then...
Now the sun as come to earth/Shrouded in a mushroom cloud of death...
Just look at the names of the members of the band Weezer: Brian, Patrick, Scott...Rivers?
The Vandals' song "The New You", a story of how a guy's love has changed, does this quite horribly:
Well now you say that you like me but you don't "like" like me. And you say that you love me but you're not "in love" with me And we should just be friends ...but friends shouldn't treat other friends like that you're not too friendly when you act like that. Should I smash your fucking head with a baseball bat? And dig around the brains and goo for something that looks like old you?
Australian band Tripod loves this trope. Examples include:
In the Countryside, a touching tale of freedom and finding yourself and stockpiling weaponry
Let's Take a Walk starts with the lines:
Let's take a walk, my love, Down by the river, my baby. Down where we used to go, Until the day when we found that body.
It's hard to tell what R.E.M. was singing about, especially at the time, but one song's narrator reminisces thusly:
I remember redwood trees Bumper cars and wolverines. The ocean's Trident submarines
Don't call me at work again, no, no, the boss still hates me
I'm just tired and I don't love you anymore
And there's a restaurant we should check out
Mythology and Religion
The 11 rules of the Earth in the Church of LeVey.
1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked. 2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them. 3. When in another's lair, show him respect or else do not go in there. 4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy. 5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal. 6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved. 7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic if you have called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained. 8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself. 9. Do not harm little children. 10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food. 11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.
From the original Charles Addams The Addams Family comics, was a wardrobe filled with suit bags, each labeled as being another portion of Uncle Nick Nack's wardrobe. The last one (which bulged suggestively)? "Uncle Nick Nack".
This joke was used in the Film.
In Candorville, Lemont is trying to sue for custody of his son from his evil ex-girlfriend, who has the advantages of being the kid's mother, white, and very wealthy (and possibly a vampire who wants to be a daywalker. When Lemont asks why she hasn't been served yet, he gets this in response.
This◊ Meaning Of Lila Drew lost her baby in a car accident a few days earlier, which was apparently caused by her texting to Lila while driving.
In Hundreds of Heads's How to Survive Your Freshman Year, a teen self-help guide consisting of words of wisdom from current college students, one piece of advice (likely not condoned by the publisher) reads: "Bring extra lighting for your dorm room, a mattress in case a friend comes over, and a fake I.D."
Save all receipts. Staten Island, NY. Watch out for pedofiles (sic). A dated receipt is required for all returns and exchanges.
Andy Hamilton presented an extract from the minutes of a parish council meeting on the 7th November 2008 edition of The News Quiz, which can be seen in full here. The section as quoted on the show is as follows:
1. Another parishioner wished to know if the problems with the telephone directories have been solved yet. 2. Mr Neale said a parishioner had drawn his attention to overhanging foliage on the pavement on Main Street between Wellow Road junction and the Old School. Clerk to contact Highways Dept. 3. The missile launcher parked on Kirklington Road has caused comments from a number of parishioners. Clerk to contact Highways Dept.
Magic: The Gathering: The flavor text of Enormous Baloth; with the squick outnumbering the bread, eggs and milk.
Its diet consists of fruits, plants, small woodland animals, large woodland animals, woodlands, fruit groves, fruit farmers, and small cities.
Also in the flavor of Boros Cluestone:
In case of fire, treachery, citywide riot, political upheaval, or worldwide societal collapse, break glass.
Frequently found in Cabaret. It's present both in "Tomorrow Belongs to Me", which starts off as a sweet little song about the future, then the camera pulls back to reveal a Nazi armband on the singer. To an even greater extent, "If You Could See Her", what starts out as a novelty act about a man dating an ape, and defending his sweetheart. And it ends, "If could could see her through my eyes . . . / She wouldn't look Jewish at all!"
The song is intended to be more "squick, squick, squick and squick"; the next line ends "why do these words sound so nasty".
In Oliver! the song "I'd Do Anything" starts out with cute lines about the things the boys would do, like "Would you climb a hill? (Anything!)/ Wear a daffodil? (Anything!)" etc. Then in the third verse:
"Would you rob a shop?" "Would you risk the drop?" "Though your eyes go pop" "When you come down, plop!"
Not as squicky to the original audience, but in Twelfth Night Sir Andrew says: "I would I had bestowed that time in the tongues that I have in fencing, dancing and bear-baiting: O, had I but followed the arts!", making this Older Than Steam.
In the musical adaptation of Young Frankenstein, Frederick is going through the library and is surprised to find his grandfather doesn't have his medical books there, but instead things like "Black Beauty, Heidi, and the Kama Sutra."
One of the talk radio shows on a Grand Theft Auto game features a woman who saw her family murdered in front of her eyes, and is drugged up pretty high in an attempt to deal with the traumatic memories. Evidently the drugs aren't quite enough, as she has a tendency to reveal slightly disturbing facts about it out of the blue in an unnaturally perky tone. And towards the end of the show, the drugs begin to wear off...
And from Grand Theft Auto III: I also like jazz, and cooking, and bestiality so the Internet is really good for my hobbies. Wait what?! Oh Chatterbox, you have such a deleterious effect on my driving skills...
In the fourth game, minor character Bluesy St. John's cabaret performances end up like this sooner or later. Usually sooner.
Planescape Torment has Vrischka's Curiousity Shoppe - most of the items are...less than ordinary, like a monster jug containing a real monster, a bottle of angel's tears and a demon's tongue. Then there's the baby oil.
The Neverwinter Nights community module "Sanctum of the Archmage" contains a series of magic computers in the ruins that form most of the first chapter, with the option to play games on them. "Global thermonuclear war" is innocuously placed among the other, more traditional games (also a Shout Out to WarGames, mentioned above).
Dragon Age II has a particularly silly piece of advice on one of the loading screens:
Don't play cards with a Qunari, it's impossible to tell when they're bluffing. Don't play cards with an elf, they never pay their debts. And don't play cards with a dwarf, they'll kill you if they lose.
Portal includes this subtly in the confrontation with GLaDOS. One of the cores you handle is the Cake Core, which gives the recipe for the cake. It contains many of the ingredients you'd expect (flour, eggs), a few you wouldn't expect (fish...interesting), a few that are downright dangerous (explosives, carcinogenic preservatives), and some that are just plain wrong (licorice and rhubarb), fish shaped nuclear waste, sediment shaped sediment, and peanut butter covered in candy shaped like fish, an adjustable aluminium head positioner, slaughter electric needle injector...
Earlier in the game, GLaDOS informs you that falling off the raised platforms will "result in an unsatisfactory mark on your record, followed by death."
Mm, cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb, an entry called "how to kill someone with your bare hands," twelve medium geosynthetic membranes, gas and odor control chemicals that will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue, nine large egg yolks, one cup granulated sugar, and a 20-foot thick impermeable clay layer.
Granted, all the odd ingredients are listed as garnishes. The recipe for the cake itself is actually fairly mundane.
The ending theme song: "Aperture Science: we do what we must because we can. For the good of all of us except the ones who are dead. *beat* But there's no sense crying over every mistake..."
Later in the ending theme song: "I've experiments to run, there is research to be done on the people who are still alive."
And again with "I'm not even angry/I'm being so sincere right now/Even though you broke my heart/and killed me/And tore me to pieces/And threw every piece into a fire..."
In Portal 2, a wall sign in the old labs invites you to "KNOW YOUR ALLERGENS: Pollen. Animal dander. Plastics. Antimatter".
The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion plays this with Weebam-Na describing a failed restaurant that specialised in meals made of rats (Of course, given that this is a town where about half the population are bipedal cats, this might have been a sound move. Might. If khajiit didn't prefer sweets that is.). Double-trope score for being a shout out to the Glimmer Man.
"First this guy decides he's gonna make a million, opens a fancy restaurant: Rats in a Cream Sauce, Rat Flambe, Rat Necrom with Bonemeal Gravy, Deep-Fried Rat, Lemon Rat and Wild Rice, Rat Ragu with Powdered Deer Penis! Of course, when the guards found out, they ran his sorry butt out of town, but they left the rats. Rats!"
Falanu Hlaalu, the alchemist in Skingrad, has a typical, mundane Oblivion conversation with you until she drops this bombshell:
"I'm the only alchemist in Skingrad. Not much business here, but I can't go back to Morrowind. It's just like anywhere else in the Empire. By the way...do you happen to know what the fine is here in Cyrodiil for necrophilia? Just asking."
Even better, because the PC can respond, (Presumably equally deadpan), "Is it the first offence?" after recieving the reply, "Lets assume, no." The response becomes "Around 500."
The Elder Scrolls V Skyrim got a rather brilliant one in the "Dark Brotherhood" questline. Nazir gives the Dovahkin the task of murdering the bride at a wedding and she's the cousin of the Emperor, and her assassination will spark a chain of events that lead to the Emperor's assassination. When he comments about it, he says "You'll have a lovely time. You'll mingle with the guests, have some cake, stab the bride during her reception, and leave with some favors."
Team Fortress 2: It's the middle-ish part of a century a lot like the one we just had. A simpler time. There are three TV stations, one phone company, and two holding corporations that secretly control every government on the planet.
In the "Meet the Medic" video, the Medic's conversation with the Heavy borders on this, with him entertaining his patient with a funny story about medical malpractice (the doctor stole the patient's skeleton), and finishing with "Anyway, that's how I lost my license." To make things worse, he's telling this story to a patient while in the middle of an operation. While the patient is conscious.
Heavy: Should I be awake for this?
Medic: Well, no. But since you are, could you hold your ribcage open a bit more?
Tails: ...oh there you are. Where'd you run off to?
Sonic: I did a little shopping, grabbed a bite to eat and trashed a giant killer robot.
Bonus points for Tails' reaction being "Oh, really? They've got shopping here too?"
A few of Eggman's PA lines have this as well.
Please refrain from throwing coins, trash, or small children into the reflecting pools.
Next stop, the Tropical Resort. Here, you will find: breath-taking views from our giant Ferris wheel, amazing deals from our shopping mall, and constant risk of bodily harm.
Played for laughs at one point in Kara no Shoujo. The notebook used for the game is an actual notebook kept by Reiji with a fairly professional attitude and style to it. However, under Yaginuma's character info there's a quiet little 'Still an asshole' there.
In Dwarf Fortress, personal descriptions of dwarfs string together happy and sad events with no distinction for either, and so read:
"Urist McDwarf is happy today. He has seen a fine bowl. He has eaten in a legendary dining room. He has been disgusted by a corpse. He has slept in a fine bed..."
In Saints Row The Third, the Protagonist is discussing his/her concerns with Pierce, one of the Saints' lieutenants, about an imminent attack by an anti-gang organization called "STAG." Pierce, however, seems a bit distracted.
Protagonist:With STAG in town, we need to be careful, Pierce.
Pierce:Huh? Oh, yeah, I totally agree.
Protagonist:Our place might be compromised...
Pierce: Whatever you say.
Protagonist:...and we should get some horses and mount a charge on STAG...
In Tales Of Monkey Island Chapter 4: The Trial and Execution of Guybrush Threepwood, if Guybrush tells Judge Grindstump "I want a change of venue!":
Guybrush: Your honor, I'd like to request a change of venue! Grindstump: Where to? Guybrush: Oh, how about back at your place... just you, me, a jug of grog, a loaf of bread, and some scandalous legal briefs... Grindstump:[gets ticked off] CAPTAIN THREEPWOOD WILL TERMINATE HIS CLUMSY AND OFF-PUTTING ATTEMPTS TO SEDUCE THIS COURT AT ONCE! ARRRR!!!!
According to the hippies of Kingdom of Loathing, pontiuspilates is "an exercise regimen designed to relax you, bring your body into alignment, strengthen your core, and fracture your spine." They get the bonus points: you reply, "Wait, what was that last one?"
Vieri: So many things! A larger palazzo, two new steeds, a prettier bride... oh, and yes... your life.
As part of Riko's introduction in A Profile, we see a conversation between her and her stepson devolve from a straightforward relationship advice regarding him and his stepsister to her suggestion that he be careful not to get her pregnant. Do note that there's nothing like that between them. Well, yet.
"Blah blahCommand Seal Blah blah Caster blah blah magic blah blah and then I took all his clothes off." Thanks Shirou for your lovely demonstration of how to subtly check for Command Seals without raising suspicions. Tohsaka just stops and stares at him.
A bit of a meta example, but go to the Visual Novel Database and read the entry for Matou Sakura with spoilers off.
The Awakened gives us this exchange. Chase, the Butt Monkey protagonist, starts off talking to his therapist about how his various issues may have started in kindergarten when a classmate refused to let him play with a toy dinosaur.
Therapist: That doesn't sound very traumatic, Chase. Chase: Well, when I asked to play with it, he said no in a really mean voice. Then he stabbed me in the face with a concealed switchblade, and after that repeatedly pummelled me with the dinosaur until I finally passed out from blood loss, at which point I think he might have raped me in the ass with its tail. Therapist: Oh.
Bobby: One day I saw a pigeon fall from a tree, its body twisted and broken after an attack from somewhere above. It writhed on the floor in silence and eventually died. It had no expression, just as I have no expression. I have never relayed this story to anyone.
The Rant: They asked Bobby to put together a fact sheet for the kids. They didn't ask him again after.
One time in S.S.D.D Norman was making a "to-do" list involving murder and mayhem, then added "buy teabags."
In A Miracle Of Science, while Caprice and Benjamin are rising into orbit on a gigantic air fountain, Caprice begins explaining the reasoning behind the air-fountain/space-elevator, notices that Benjamin isn't listening, and seques into something else...
Caprice: Mars has such low gravity that gas is lost to space more quickly than it is on larger planets like Earth and Venus.
Caprice: Flying up an air-fountain like this into orbit is very energy-efficient.
Caprice: ...Burmese tiger-traps are fun, and recommended for ages six and up.
The Homestuck album coloUrs and mayhem: Universe B features The Squiddle Song: "Wake up in the morning, there's a brand new day ahead/ The sun is bright and the clouds smile down and all your friends are dead ..."
Chester: ...and Cookie Monster ate his car because he thought it was a cookie! I once thought my car was a cookie! Only it wasn't a cookie. Or a car. It was MAN.
Humour of this type is also the bread and butter of Ask That Guy, where he frequently reveals disturbing facts about his personal life.
Less often, but The Nostalgia Chick does this too. At one point, she was talking about bad Disney sequels and then ended up revealing that her uncle molested her.
Dominic of "Video Game Confessions", when interviewing Fox Mc Cloud, stopped him after hearing him casually state that "humanies" (the reverse of "furries") like him "like to get together and play games, and talk to one another, make jokes, sodomoze one another, and then usually go out and have a bit of dinner."
MikeJ also does this from time to time.
I think you all know what's coming next...A fried kitten. Aww.
The Nostalgia Critic did this when he was begging the Tom And Jerry movie not to subject him to another song. Taxes and shaving someone's back are boring and icky, respectively, but whoring himself out has got to be overkill.
"This might be a good time to bring up that most of these old consoles have a connector that looks like this. You have to plug them into a box, and then screw the box into your TV. But I say, get yourself one of these, plug them into the coaxial input on your TV, plug the game in, and tell that box to go fuck itself!" *flips the bird at the connector while he says this*
Wikitravel's summary of Dagestan on the North Caucasus page. "Dagestan: An environment utterly exotic and alien to Russians of the steppe and woodlands, Dagestan boasts astounding cultural diversity, breathtaking and austere mountaintop villages, an ancient history, and a distinct possibility of being kidnapped, and as well as a target for terrorism from Chechnen rebels."
Vezon: Quite a collection. I prefer sea-shells, myself. Sometimes leaves. Oh, and the heads of my enemies, though those take up so much space.
The Green Team sketch with from Will Ferrell, Adam McKay, and John C Reilly has a few, e.g "Biodegradable napkins, batteries, and glass dildos."
derrickcomedy.com's "Bro Rape" includes a moment like this, when the Newsline reporter is going through the bag of a would-be bro rapist: "Six pack Natty Ice. Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle. Big black dildo."
Oh my god, that is sickening! Natty Ice?
A Stalker with a Crush fangirl in an Official Fanfiction University, during a near-death experience, uttered the line "I don't wanna be dead! I'm only sixteen! I never got into college! I never took my driving test! Daniel Radcliffe never replied to the email proposal I sent him!"
PPC: "The methods of the Department of Angst involve balloon animals, glitter rain, sunshine (produced by special lamps), origami and hard drugs". Also, the charge lists often contain either this or Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking; for example, the Video Game Division once charged a bad Parody Stu with deliberately poor writing, bad spelling/grammar/punctuation/logic, being annoying, and "being an abomination against nature due to being a sandwich that walks like a man." Similarly, his partner was charged with "being a nameless bit character, aiding and abetting a Stu, and having a grasp of reality so thin that you have no problem with a giant sandwich."
Binder of Shame's Cheating Bastard once referred to the theft of milk crates as "a victimless crime, like tearing tags off mattresses, trading bootleg videotapes, and bestiality".
Alex from Awkward while filming his housemate/crush Lester under the pretext of a student film: "Teacher said, uh, make variety with camera angles. Like I wanna make a high shot, y'know, low shot...cumshot..."
ThisLet's Play of Baldurs Gate 2 describes the source of the protagonist's name with "If you really want to understand the joke in his name, have 2 and a half hours to kill, and don't mind developing cancer..."
In one of Picnic Face's videos, entitled "Near Death Experiences", the people being interviewed are describing how their mind flashed to field of flowers with a white horse that wanted them to ride it, etc., etc., until..."The horse raped me."
—->Yahtzee:"All games are about realizing a fantasy, whether it be the fantasy of being a courageous war hero, or the fantasy of being a future space adventurer, or, in the case of some Japanese games, the fantasy of possessing eight prehensile dicks."
A guide for parents considering whether to let their kids see The Wicker Man (hint: no). It quite dispassionately details the variously suggestive and overt sexual scenes, scenes featuring alcohol and swearing, and right at the very bottom is a tiny spoiler box labelled "Frightening/Intense Scenes"...
Let's see now. If I throw in a little bit of sugar, some flour, two eggs... that should do it. Oh my goodness! I almost forgot my secret ingredient: Cyanide!
The disclaimer at the bottom of stan-wars.com: "This site is purely satirical. This site is not meant to be cited as a credible source of information. This site is not based on fact, logic, common sense or common decency, (but neither are most legitimate news sites). This site is a work of convoluted logic, contradictory opinions and satirical fiction. This site is not affiliated with any of the artists mentioned. The author of this site is currently under a psychiatrist's care for several mental disorders."
Pick anything Sister says. Anything at all. It's not her catchphrase, but incidence of "Yeah... wait, what?" in the show is 99% her fault.
Donut makes a damn profession out of doing this with gay euphemisms, to various degrees of not being subtle at all.
When speculating on what the contents of the ship that brought Sister, Church assumes its a weapon and then runs through a list of potential effects ... ending in turning blue soldiers sterile. Given that the ship dropped off Sister, that last one is the most likely. When the ship turned out to have brought a person, Church runs through a list of special agent specialties ... ending with "ball kicking". Which may or may not be one of Tex's.
Considering what she did to Grif, multiple times, during her "fight" with the Reds and Tucker, that's probably not too far off.
In "candy product", the ingredients of SBLOUNSKCHED! include marshmallow, licorice, nougat, and... pepperoni.
Homestar, back during an "early"hremail, remarked that Melonade was not only his favorite drink, but he was contractually unable to drink, talk about, or bathe in any other liquid.
In an episode of The Simpsons, Lisa states that the reason her family got sick from organic food is because they're not accustomed to the "vitamins, minerals, and trace amounts of bug feces."
Inverted wonderfully in "Summer of 4'2"", when Homer tries to buy illegal fireworks from a Kwik-e-Mart and they're the least suspicious item on the list, despite being the only illegal one.
Homer: Yeah, um, give me one of those porno magazines, a large box of condoms, a bottle of Old Harper, a box of panty shields, some illegal fireworks, and one of those disposable enemas. Eh, make it two.
In an episode of King of the Hill, Hank chides Bill for throwing up in the sandbox for kids. Dale then informs him that sandboxes are in fact made of several things listing feces and sand and then ending the list with animal feces.
In Garfield and Friends, Garfield, to scare away another cat, forges a recipe for Casserole à la Arbuckle, whose ingredients are 1 cup milk, 2 tbsp. flour, carrots, potatoes, 1 kitty cat, add salt to taste. A bit of an inversion, since Garfield is doing this intentionally.
Although nothing he said can compare with most other examples on this page, Fry of Futurama, due to his Cloud Cuckoo Lander status, had a tendency to ramble whenever he was allowed to talk uninterrupted, making various relevant but still disturbing remarks ("I don't like having disks crammed into me. Unless they're Oreos. And then only in the mouth!"). He is sometimes called out on this:
Fry: I had a car like that once. Well, actually it was my girlfriend's car. Actually it wasn't hers, it was her dad's. Actually she wasn't my girlfriend, she just lived next door and never closed her blinds.
Leela: Fry, remember that conversation we had about you finishing your stories a sentence early?
Another fount of examples is Zapp Brannigan:
Brannigan: We've detected a vessel attempting to break the security cordon around Vergon 6. I'm anticipating an all-out tactical dogfight, followed by a light dinner: ravioli, ham, sundae bar.
Brannigan: Perhaps I could paint a fence, or service you sexually, or mop the floor. Leela: You don't know how to do any of those things.
In the episode "Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV", when Bender acts like himself in a TV show. Bender is an Anti Role Model (since he has no redeeming qualities) whom young viewers treat as a role model. Later in the episode he protests his own presence on TV and the blame placed upon him. Note that the proverbial last straw for Bender here is that the children who emulated his behavior stole his stuff.
Bender: It's the parents' fault! Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?
Hermes: We're just so busy!
In one episode, Leela is fighting for mutants to gain equal treatment. When giving her demands to the mayor, she gives most of the ones that would be expected, capped off with the blood of their firstborn. When a nearby mutant is stunned by this, Leela whispers to him that it's only so that they "have something to give up in the negotiations".
Crocker: Can I offer you anything with that? Cream, sugar, magic?
Wanda: What was that last one?
In an episode of Family Guy, Peter is telling a story about how horrible the Suck E. Cheese's he visited in preparation for Stewie's first birthday party was:
Rep: For ice cream, we have vanilla, strawberry, chocolate, and people. Peter: What was that last one? Rep: Chocolate.
Brian: That's good, what's in there? Meg: Oh, some apples, and cinnamon...and my hair...
Played with when Quagmire is trying to find out if his dad is gay by questioning his old navy buddies. All of them say double entendres (ie: Your dad used to drink me under the table! If there was one guy you wanted in your hole, it was your dad), except the last one (Your dad had the best penis in the military!).
And this little exchange when Lois and Meg were going through Meg's baby things.
Lois: Oh, look, Meg, it's your little baby booties. Oh, and your little bronze hat... And your tail.
Meg: My what?!
In an early episode, when Peter acts a millionaire and greets other guests:
Good Day! Enchanté!Pasta fazool!
And when Peter gets home from work after his dad is made the new boss: "Lunch is a sin. Taking a break is a sin. Bestiality is a sin. I don't remember how that came up exactly..."
"Beneath my cold, hard exterior is a kid just itching to learn, and beneath that is a rapist."
The Doctor Whoanimated special "The Infinite Quest" lands the Doctor and Martha in a maximum security space prison where a background scan find the Doctor guilty of 3,005 "outstanding convictions" including 1,400 minor traffic violations, 250 evasions of library fines, and 18 planetary demolitions.
2D, the slightly dim singer/keyboardist of Gorillaz, once introduced himself in a radio interview with "Hi, my name is 2D, and I'm the singer, and I need the toilet..." Murdoc calmly announcing during an interview that "I hit puberty at eight and lost my virginity to a dinner lady at nine and I've been in a bad mood ever since" possibly also falls under this heading, whether or not he was telling the truth.
Cartman: [talking about a photo he is showing the class] Yes! This is shot at a 5-6 aperture lens using a low light filter, you can see the grain from the high-speed film, there is sort of a penis in my mouth right here, and the low depth of field keeps the background soft.
"Now a couple a questions, what do you think of father Maxi? How would you describe his attitude? And has he ever tried to stick anything in your butt?"
In "The Biggest Douche In The Universe", Stan goes into John Edward's house and looks at his books. They are called, "How To Be A Psychic!", "Cold Reading: The Trick of the Psychic!", "Make Women Believe You're Psychic! Then Have Sex With Them!", and "How To Sixty-Nine With Yourself!".
At various points in Aqua Teen Hunger Force Meatwad watches a puppet show where a puppet sings a song teaching "This is your left," and "This is your right". One time, while singing the song, the puppet inexplicably throws in the line, "You're gonna die!"
Birdman: The Dalton gang. Wanted for cattle rustlin', horse theivin', mischief makin' and...running a meth lab?
In the Phineas And Ferb episode "Phineas and Ferb's Quantum Boogaloo", Future!Candace's attempts to retroactively bust her brothers create a dystopia run by Moral Guardians which has swing sets turned into hospital beds, coloring books pre-colored in the lines, and children stored in People Jars until adulthood.
Aladdin villain Mechanicles was fond of doing this. On reading the list Iago remarked "This guy's serious!"
The Other Wiki
The Wikipedia article on African Currency has this line to start off the second paragraph: "In pre-colonial times African currency included shells, ingots, arrowheads, iron, human beings, salt, cattle, goats, blankets, axes, beads, and many others." What doesn't belong?
Also from Wikipedia, their article on Kim Kardashian reads: "She is widely known for her appearances in Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Dancing With the Stars, and a sex tape with former boyfriend Ray J." (Though that may be more like Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking.)
The Other Wiki also brings an example on the page about Strathclyde Park in Motherwell: "Strathclyde Park contains many sports and leisure facilities and also has sites for bird-watchers, doggers and anglers." (For those who aren't aware, "dogging" is British slang for 'having sex in public' or 'observing people having sex in public'.)
From the Wikipedia article on Patty Hearst:
Patricia Campbell Hearst (born February 20, 1954), now known as Patricia Hearst Shaw, is an American newspaper heiress, socialite, actress, and bank robber.
Another Wikipedia example (this time about Calamity Jane):
A woman who exhibited kindness and compassion towards others, especially the sick and needy, who also was an alcoholic and traded sexual favors for money.
The page for the Unabomber used to describe him as "an American mathematician, social critic, and murderer who carried out a campaign of mail bombings."
The lead section for the page on Frank Zappa bassist Roy Estrada starts off talking about his music career, then finishes with "He is also a convicted child molester, serving a twenty-five year sentence as from January 2012."
Christopher Maurice "Chris" Brown (born May 5, 1989) is an American singer, songwriter, rapper, dancer, actor, and convicted felon.
There is a recipe from the Philippines that goes a little like this: carrots, potatoes, bell peppers, tomato sauce, and red ant eggs.
This Craigslist ad.
Wanted: Pony "My kid is having a birthday coming up soon, and there'll be a lot of children around, so I figured I'd better get a pony. If you do have a pony you could sell, please contact me, and then immediately start putting barbeque sauce in its bedding or add some Lawry's to its salt lick — I like to marinade it early and long, so that the flavor is at its peak by the time I take possession."
That gag is probably based on a story familiar to anthropology students: A man in Samoa advertised he wanted to buy a pony for his son's birthday. A guy sold him a pony and watched in horror as he killed it and loaded it onto his truck to be roasted and served as the main course.
Helen Doss, in The Family Nobody Wanted, said that she and her husband did a nativity scene with a live donkey when their first (adopted) kid was a baby. When they tried to rent the same donkey for a repeat the following Christmas, they were casually informed that it had been killed and made into salami. The kicker was that the owner claimed that donkeys made the "best kind" of salami.
In The Other Wiki article listing Icelandic Magical Staves, it starts off with a rune to attract a girl, then- suddenly: "Necropants, a pair of pants made from the skin of a dead man that are capable of producing endless gold", squeezed between the rune for "To Win in Court" and "To Induce Fear".
The article links to sites with more about Icelandic Magical Staves, which are not much better. For the curious: you get a man (has to be a man) to agree to let you dig him up and skin him from the waist down after he dies. Should you manage to outlive him, you do that, draw the rune on a gold piece, and put it in the purse. And yes, you must wear them.
St. Julian the Hospitaller - Patron of wandering musicians, clowns, carnival workers, fiddle players, and murderers.
Most crimes and sins (see also prostitution, below) have patron saints—they're prayed to to get people who commit them to repent.
FOUND Magazine, and the affiliated website, has quite a collection of shopping lists or to-do lists that embody this trope, with a list of normal things like "pick up prescription" or "buy milk", with something weird tossed in. Like "Rob a casino".
This◊ shopping list, supposedly found in a Seattle parking lot. Literally a Bread Eggs Milk Squick in this case...well, more like Bread Milk Squick Eggs. (WARNING: VERY NSFW)
TV Tropes is as good example as any, in at least 3 types of example.
One would be a line that goes rather unabrubtly and disturbingly like this (fictional example): "Japan is well known for anime, J drama, J music, hard working people and so on. But this wasn't always so. It used to be a common act to disembowel people, eat dead babies and such.". Go on, say you haven't seen an example like this before!
Ferret Steinmetz, co-writer of Home On The Strange, in an anecdote about growing up with unusually open-minded parents:
My Mom began to say things like, "Mail's in! Let's see....yep, your subscription to Boy's Life....the newest Nickelodeon magazine...and let's see, it appears to be Bo Derek on a horse in Playboy this month...."
User 927. When AOL released confidential user search logs, one unidentified person was noted for their increasingly disturbing log including flower meanings, sick child hentai, mla citations, human mold, japanese child slave molestation and rape, and low carb calorie foods. Someone even made a play out of it.
Winston Churchill allegedly once said that he preferred Italian liners to British because, "There are three things I like about Italian ships. First, their cuisine, which is unsurpassed. Second, their service, which is quite superb. And then — in time of emergency — there is none of this nonsense about women and children first."
He does have a point, though.
The "Road To Health" booklet issued by the South African Department of Health. It included this advice on how to start your child on solid foods:
"Give mashed dried beans and locally available animal foods daily to supplement the iron in the breastmilk. Examples include egg, minced meat, fish, chicken, mopani worms."
In the back of house, all the furniture is upcycled: the table is from ebay, the racking from a second-hand shop, the chairs have been stolen from our Mafia meeting room, and the flooring is non-PVC from Ovation Flooring.
The Chili Appreciation Society International specified in 1999 that, among other things, cooks are forbidden to include beans, marinate any meats, or discharge firearms in the preparation of chili for official competition.
Evangelist George Whitefield was well known in the 18th century for open-air preaching to crowds of thousands, some of whom didn't exactly treat his sermons with the reverence they might give in a church. He once wrote, "I was honored today with having a few stones, dirt, rotten eggs, and pieces of dead cat thrown at me."
Some police officers will do this to people they've pulled over asking if they have anything in their car (with the last possible item listed being something ludicrous) as a way to see what kind of person that they're dealing with. Usually, if the driver has nothing to hide, they'll laugh, whereas someone hiding something will just give a straight answer.