- From Absolutely Fabulous, Edina is concerned that when she dies, she won't leave a legacy behind:
Edina: What will people remember me by? Through you? I'm supposed to live on through you? (points scornfully towards her daughter Saffy)
Saffy: Would you like a statue?
Saffy: A great big fat ugly armless statue?
Edina: I've got arms! I've got arms! (waves both arms frantically in air)
- Angel is particularly sensitive to this. Example in episode "Conviction":
Bad Guy: You pathetic, little fairy.
Angel: Hey! I am not little.
- In the comics, Faith screws up. Again. This time working as a bodyguard for Kennedy. She's protecting a wannabe rock star, who is into underage girls, when her father storms in and Faith finds this out she attacks him, the rocker turns into a demon, and Kennedy has to intervene. When Faith explains what happened she is most upset not that their client was attacked but the suggestion she condones what he did.
- A variation (possibly an inversion) from Arrested Development, after the publicist has just told the family that Michael is the most likeable member of the family:
There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town. Tobias Fünke:
Well, that leaves me out.
(silence, everyone stares
) Tobias Fünke:
She did say single, right? I-I-I thought she said single.
- Battlestar Galactica:
John Cavil: Yes, but Fives in general haven't been that impressive thus far. One of your counterparts managed to get himself outted back on Ragnar Station.
Aaron Doral: I can't understand how he was discovered... I heard it was Dr. Baltar.
Cavil: Well, I'm not talking about that exactly. I'm talking about the fact that you're walking around this fleet wearing that jacket, and more importantly, that face. You're recognizable.
Doral: Uh... Well... His jacket was burgundy... This is teal...
- On a Dutch channel, BNN, there was a short-lived spoof of Jerry Springer called Jimmy Hopper. One of the stagehands was a homosexual. When one of the guests refused to be calmed down by a "Dirty faggot", the stagehand jumped up and screamed "I'M NOT DIRTY!" and attacked the guy. The funniest bit in the program.
- When Bones is accused by a judge of claiming a victim was murdered in order to drum up publicity for her "pulp mystery books" (The Double Death of the Dearly Departed) she objects:
That man is a fool
! They are not pulp!
- The Colbert Report
"I have nothing in common with that fanatical self-promoting jingoistic egomaniacal fundamentalist! I am at least three inches taller."
- In a later episode, after gauging comparisons between WWII and the invasion of Georgia, he stated that "Putin is nothing like Hitler. He knows judo."
- In an episode of Community, Dean Craig Pelton gets called a "non-miraculous son of a bitch."
Craig: Non-miraculous? Abed...
- In the Corner Gas episode "Friend of a Friend", Lacey's friend Connie calls Oscar a "crazy homeless". Oscar's response?
"I'm not homeless!"
- From Coupling:
Oliver: And you're not bisexual.
Jane: I'm sorry?
Oliver: I don't buy it.
Jane: You don't what?
Oliver: And I don't buy the "crazy, wacky Jane" thing. And I don't buy the you 'follow the philosophy of plants' thing. I think you're terrified you're not interesting enough, so you'll make up any old rubbish just to get attention. Do me a favour: look in the mirror. The way you look as if you have to try.
Jane: I am so bisexual!
- From Dead Like Me:
Theo: Great, I've got a homosexual angel.
Mason: I'm not an angel!
Mason: And I'm not gay, either.
- Doctor Who: In "the Greatest Show in the Galaxy", Captain Cook doesn't mind being called a scoundrel or a meddling fool, but "crushing bore" cuts him to the quick.
Ephram: Ever since Mom died you've been acting like a moron. You grow that ugly-ass beard, you uproot your family and move us out to the middle of Nowhereswille, and why? Because someone once told you it's pretty? You're insane!
Dr. Brown: I can't believe you think my beard is ugly.
- From Eureka:
It's only a matter of time before Allison sees you for who you really are: which is a smug, selfish, Einstein-wannabe with no moral compass and only one functioning kidney. Trevor:
Both my kidneys function fine, thank you. Jack Carter: Day's not over
, is it?
- In an episode of Father Ted, Ted and Dougal are trying to hide a huge amount of rabbits from Bishop Brennan, whose terrified of them:
Dougal: (shouting up the stairs) Ted! Did Len find the rabbits?
Bishop Brennan: What did he say?!!
Ted: Look, I'd better tell you . . .
Bishop Brennan: Did he call me Len again?!
- In Firefly Mal is offended at being called a "petty thief" because of the first word only.
- Frasier: Frasier explains to his boss the reason Bulldog chewed him out was that he overheard Bulldog repeat a rumor that the sports host was fired.
Frasier: And that's why he came up here and started telling you...
Miller: That I'm a drunk, that I'm incompetent at my job, that my wife is a big fat slut!
Frasier: That is indefensible! Your wife is not overweight!
- In an episode of Full House, Stephanie was stood up for a date, and her father Danny ran into the guy while at school making a delivery for the food drive. Rumors circulated about Danny doing a long list of things, including threatening the guy with canned ham. He protested that it was, in fact, Spam, but took a while on dispelling the other rumors.
- Game of Thrones:
Benjen: (wrapping up an impressive rant) Half of the boys you saw training out in the yard are going to die come winter. Maybe it will be a wildling that gets them, maybe sickness, maybe just the cold. They'll die in pain, and they'll do it so that plump little lords like you can enjoy their warm summer afternoons down south in the capital.
Tyrion: (turning to his drinking companion) ... do you think I'm plump?
- On Gilmore Girls, Logan plays an embarrassing and public prank on Rory, and she's not amused:
Rory: I have no words...
Logan: It was just a joke!
Rory: Oh, no, wait. I thought of some. Jerk! Ass, arrogant, inconsiderate, mindless, frat-boy, low-life, butt-faced miscreant!
Logan: "Butt-faced miscreant"!
Rory: Why would you do something like that?
Logan: I'm sorry, "butt-faced miscreant"?
- Subverted in The Goodies, "Caught in the Act". Context: Tim is in drag, calling himself 'Mitzi', and has gotten into a fight with a woman named Ms. Heffer regarding Graeme who Tim pretends is his lover.
Ms. Heffer: He doesn't want you! You're fat and old and ugly!
"Mitzi": Fat and old I may be, but ugly—(hissing)—ugly... ...you're absolutely right, that's why he loves me. C'mere...
- Haven, from the 2012 Halloween episode:
Tommy: It's perfect. Ghosts. Anything else you people want to let me in on that goes on around here? Mermen? Aliens? Dracula?
Duke: We're not sure about Dracula.
- In an episode of Hells Kitchen (US Season 3):
Gordon: You two-faced lazy little fucker.
- "He called me a cheap whore and a thief!" MacLeod: <looks> "I was NEVER cheap." There's also the incident where Amanda won a gambling club from its owner, and refused to give him the chance to win it back. The man loses his temper: "No thieving French harlot with a coiffure is going to cheat me out of my club!" Amanda slaps him hard, and says: "I'm not French!"
- In How I Met Your Mother, Robin tells Marshall that he has to learn that NYC is not all Sesame Street like his crime-free, podunk, backwater, inbred hick town in Minnesota, and Marshall insists that they are not crime free. In 1976, the general store cashier was held up at hoe-point.
- I, Claudius
- In the second episode, Julia and Tiberius are unhappily married. When Julia wants sex:
Tiberius: Let me go, you fat, drunken cow!
Julia: FAT?! FAT?!
- But then it gets a lot less funny...
Julia: If I'm fat, I'm fat where a woman should be fat, not skinny like a boy! Go to bed, my dear, and I'll send you one up. He's very pretty, I promise you, I've had him myself. (cackles) He reminds me of your ex-wife. Not a hair on his body, and he's even skinnier behind. (Tiberius hits her)
- In the mini-series John Adams, the title character is listening to his wife indignantly reading a pamphlet attacking his character. After listening to a Long List of supposed character defects, Adams simply replies that he's not "crippled".
- German TV show Kalkofes Mattscheibe (Kalkofe's tube, meaning the TV) has comedian Oliver Kalkofe parodying other TV shows by dressing up as the protagonists. One of his spoofs of a reality show had the following dialogue:
Frederic Prinz von Anhalt (German b-list celebrity): You're a whore! An old whore!
Kader Loth (another German b-list celebrity): I am NOT old!
- In the episode "Responsible" of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, a female teenage suspect tells Munch to "Shut up, you Dirty Old Man!"
Munch: Who are you calling Old?
- In The League of Gentlemen, Pauline is called a "psychotic 50-year-old lesbian." Her response? "How dare you! I'm 48!"
- Leverage: Sterling calls Nate a "common criminal". Nate is a criminal, but he objects to the "common".
- From Life on Mars:
Gene Hunt: Yeah, well, as for me, I slept like a baby! (flops back down onto the bed)
Sam Tyler: Yeah, a twenty stone baby. Burps, snores and farts.
Gene Hunt: (sitting bolt upright) I do NOT snore!
- Little Heroes was a mid-1970s show, locally produced by WXON-TV 20 in Detroit. It was an apparent attempt to do a modern version of Hal Roach's Our Gang, aka The Little Rascals. Sadly, the videotaped show probably no longer exists. But the show had two recurring characters of bumbling foreign spies with bad accents (probably Russian, but they never say exactly). A recurring line between them was:
Spy 1: You are ze idiot, you are ze fool, you are za im-be-seel, you...are...za...NERD!
Spy 2: I am NOT za nerd!!
- A variation in LOST:
Naomi: This is a high risk covert op in unstable territory. It's dodgy enough without having to babysit a head case, ghost buster, anthropologist and a drunk.
Abbadon: (referring to Lapidus, the "drunk")
- Mamas Family:
Thelma: (to Naomi) Your idea of a workout is a man, a bed, and a cigarette afterwards!
Naomi: That's not true! I've never smoked a cigarette in my life!
- A M*A*S*H episode has a variation of this.
Hot Lips: (to Henry Blake) Why don't you stop masquerading as a commanding officer? You're nothing but a spineless, mealymouthed, fly-fishing impostor!
Trapper: He's not an impostor!
Hawkeye: Right. He's a genuine spineless, mealymouthed fly-fisherman.
- The Middle: In "Dollar Days", when Frankie, after a fruitless day of job interviews, asks her kids for one word to describe her. They offer "lazy", "angry" and "tired", prompting Mike to defend her:
Mike: The reason your mother is tired, lazy and irritable is because of you kids.
Frankie: No one ... said ... irritable (walks offscreen).
- The Middleman; in the pilot episode, Wendy and The Middleman share this banter:
Wendy: Contractor? What do you do, build strip malls, kill people...?
MiddleMan: I never build strip malls.
- Mike And Molly: In "Fish for Breakfast", Carl's latest girlfriend (who thought she was going to a party) refers to Mike and Vince (Mike's mother-in-law's fiance) as "two gay guys eating a banana split". Mike protests that he hasn't had a bite of the banana split.
- From the (in)famous "Gollum award rant" at the MTV Movie Awards (when Gollum won "Best Virtual Performance"):
Shut up, Serkis, you stupid fat (BLEEP)ing
turd! Andy Serkis:
I'm- I'm not fat!
- My Wife and Kids
Michael: Go upstairs and take a shower, you smell like corn chips and ass.
J.R.: I do NOT smell like corn chips.
- On the final episode of Night Court, Dan dreams he's being put on trial by all the women he's humped & dumped over the years. One of them yells, "Dan Fielding, you're a big fat liar!" Dan counters, "I am not fat!"
- In Peep Show, Jeremy calls Sophie's father Ian a "fox-hunting, badger-baiting, tweed shirt, bumfuck homophobe", thinking he can't hear him through the headphones on his metal detector. Later, Ian reveals that he could hear him and tells him, "I may be a homophobe, but I'm no badger baiter."
- In one episode of Police Squad! Frank tries to taunt a boxer with all sorts of insults, to which the man smiles and turns the other cheek, and when Frank finally gives up and says, "Forget it!" that suddenly sets the man off and accidentally does the trick.
- In the Porridge episode "A Day Out":
Godber: You talk with your mouth full. You whistle out of tune. You snore. You spit.
Fletcher: How dare you! I do not whistle out of tune!
- In Power Rangers S.P.D., Anubis "Doggie" Kruger had barely survived nearly being assassinated and he's in the hospital unconscious. As he's there, Dr. Kat Manx is talking to him, trying to encourage him to wake up. In the end, she calls him a "stubborn old dog". The first words Doggie says coming to? "I'm not an old dog".
- Power Rangers Jungle Fury:
Casey: You're a pretty good teacher, for an uptight, egocentric neat freak.
Theo: Hey. There's nothing wrong with being neat.
- The Private Life Of Samuel Pepys: "I'm accused of spying for the French, and taking bribes. I never spied for the French!" (A slight variation, in that it IS the most serious charge he objects to.)
- The Professionals:
Bodie: Permission to be admiringly insolent, sir. You're a brave old bastard.
Cowley: Permission denied. Anyway, it's inaccurate. I'm not brave.
- Psych plays with this in episode 3-4, "The Greatest Adventure in the History of Basic Cable":
Shawn: (to Gus) ...Sort of like I call you "Black Star" or "Home Skillet" or "Big Baby Burton."
Gus: Don't ever call me "Home Skillet."
- In an episode of Queer as Folk Michael, Justin, Ted, Vic, and Debbie have been reading aloud a newspaper article in which Brian is accused of, among other things, being a pedophile and a "miserable example of a modern gay stereotype." After several of them criticize the article and its author, Brian says he's going to sue the author.
Michael: Take it easy, Brian.
Brian: He said I'm 31. I'm 30.
- The Sarah Silverman Program:
Girl: What do you know about talent? You're unemployed, single, over 30 and you severely overestimate your cuteness!
Sarah: I choose to be over 30!
- From Scrubs:
Keith: (to Elliot) Goodnight, you skanky, straw-haired pig whore.
Carla: (consoling Elliot) C'mon, you're not straw-haired.
Elliot: I know...
- British cop show Spender has the eponymous Spender assigned to guard a politician whom he personally dislikes. After being called a fascist bastard by a protester and spat on, he corners the protester in the toilets later.
Spender: Now, I don't mind being called a bastard, but I do mind being called a fascist and I take exception to being spat on.
- From Sports Night:
Dana: I don't think you're cute, I don't think you're funny, I don't think you're smart, and sometimes I don't think you're very nice.
Casey: You don't think I'm funny?!
- In the Stargate SG-1 episode "Citizen Joe", after a list of things O'Neill should be denying...
You're Brigadier General Jack O'Neill. Head of Stargate Command at Cheyenne Mountain. You used to command SG-1, which is now led by Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter. You once visited a planet called Argos, and the nanites in your blood caused you to age artificially. You've had the entire repository of the Ancients' knowledge downloaded into your brain. Twice! You have a thing for The Simpsons
, fishing, Mary Steenburgen, the color peridot, and you're a terrible ping pong player.
[...] Jack O'Neill:
Well, first of all, Joe, I'm not a terrible ping pong player.
- Star Trek: The Original Series: One of the funniest parts of the already hilarious "The Trouble with Tribbles" episode, when Scotty explains to Kirk why he started a fight with Klingons on a space station.
Well, captain, er, the Klingons called you a tin-plated over-bearing swaggering dictator with delusions of godhood. Kirk:
Is that all? Scotty:
No sir, they also compared you with a Denebian slime devil. Kirk:
I see. Scotty:
And then they said that you were... Kirk:
I get the picture, Scotty. Scotty:
Yes, sir. Kirk:
And after they said all this, that's when you hit the Klingons. Scotty:
No, sir. Kirk:
No, er, I didn't. You told us to avoid trouble. Kirk:
Oh, yes. Scotty:
Well, I didn't see that it was worth fighting about. After all, we're big enough to take a few insults, aren't we? Kirk:
What was it they said that started the fight? Scotty:
They called the Enterprise
a garbage scow
- There's a similar incident in an episode of Firefly. Simon complains about life aboard ship, including, but not limited to, the food, the captain and his sister. Kaylee only takes offence to his description of Serenity as "garbage".
- He was just being ironic, is what.
- The incident is parodied in Space Quest V: The Next Mutation, where Cliffy starts a fight with a crewmember from the Goliath for doing the same thing. Roger then points out that their ship is a garbage scow.
- A variation from Strangers with Candy that only that show could've produced:
"YOU ARE A BIG, DUMB, STUPID, FAT ZERO FATTY!"
- The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, "The Summer of Out Discontent":
London Tipton: Ew, you mean I'm on a date with a greasy bag boy?
Cody's Boss: That's greasy assistant manager.
- In an episode of Survivor: Panama, this happens.
Shane: I'll drive up and I'll kill you in your shitty little apartment. And I'll drive over to my club and that'll be it.
Courtney: That was really nice. (Beat) I don't have a shitty apartment.
Shane: WELL, OBVIOUSLY, DUDE! I'VE NEVER BEEN IN YOUR APARTMENT!
- That '70s Show:
Red: Kitty, every time we have an empty room, you wanna fill it up with a stray child. You’re like... the old lady who lived in a shoe.
Kitty: Did you just call me old?
- That's My Bush!
- Used twice in the episode "Mom 'E'.D.E.A. Arrest":
Barbara: Darling, I just don't want that slut messing it up.
George: Now Mom! [Laura] is NOT...gonna mess it up.
Barbara: Don't you tell me to relax, you stupid two-dollar truck-stop slut!
Laura: ...Two dollars?
- The Thick of It
- Any discussion with Malcolm Tucker is usually filled with insults, but even he has his limits:
Oliver Reeder: Malcolm! You're bullying me, and I dunno why you're bullying me...
Malcolm Tucker: How dare you! How dare you! Don't you ever, ever call me a bully! I'm so much worse than that.
- More of an Insult Backfire that one... a better example would be Malcolm's attempt to derail Geoff Holhurst's leadership bid:
First, you've got no credentials — you're so backbench you've actually fuckin' fallen off... secondly, I'm going to tell the Mirror
about all the drinking... and thirdly, I'm going to tell the Mail
about the affair... and fourthly, you've got a tiny head
... Geoff Holhurst:
No I haven't!
- In The Movie, In the Loop, Malcolm Tucker has this response to being called a "little English bitch", then a "scary little poodlefucker", and finally a "squeezed dick" by an American general.note
Malcolm Tucker: "Don't ever call me fucking English again."
- In an episode of 30 Rock, Avery is detained in North Korea. Eventually, her captors let her appear on television to explain how she's being treated:
Avery: For the past three weeks, I have been honored to partake in a political reeducation regimen. I have voluntarily taken several floggings for being an arrogant American.
Jack: That's okay. She's tough. We do a lot of pirate-themed sexual role play. I'm a parrot.
Avery: Also, I spend eight hours a day breaking concrete blocks to learn to be an obedient worker.
Jack: No problem. She pays a thousand dollars an hour to do that with her trainer.
Avery: And I have concluded that capitalism may be flawed.
Jack: WHAT ARE THOSE MONSTERS DOING TO HER?!
- Top Gear: James May has reviewed a Rolls Royce Phantom Drophead Coupe and commented that he thinks it suits him because it's stylish and contemporary.
Every time I see you, those are the words that pop into my head: stylish and contemporary. May: Thank you
... After other words like, for instance: beige. Stannah Stairlift. The War. Can anyone think of any more? Homosexual. May:
) I object to the beige.
- Without a Trace:
Jack Malone: You're a stalker, Mr. Hill. You are the principal suspect in a kidnapping case. You've written her I don't know how many letters. You're a drunk, and apparently, you're an idiot.
Peter Hill: (indignantly) I am not a drunk.
- Would I Lie to You?, on the subject of rider lists:
Frankie Boyle: What a very particular list of things!
Rob Brydon: Well, that's why it's a list, Frankie.
Lee Mack: What's on your rider? "Aye, six cans o' bitter an' a knife!"
Frankie Boyle: Yeah, six cans of bitter for a teetotal alcoholic!
Lee Mack: Only Frankie Boyle could complain that I said bitter and not even mention the knife! "I'll take the knife, but don' accuse me o' drinkin'!"
- Yes, Minister: In "Party Games", Hacker complains to Maurice from Brussels that one European official pays governments to grow more crops, and then another in the next office pays the governments to destroy them. Maurice replies: "It's not true! He's not in the next office - not even on the same floor!"