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This comedy trope finds its way into TV shows and movies of almost every genre.
After being given a long list of their flaws, a character responds by selecting one of the flaws, and saying "I am not (flaw)!", as if to imply that all the other flaws were all spot-on. For maximum comedic effect, offense is taken to the mildest one in the list. Despite the name, the character usually doesn't pick the last one.
Compare: And Zoidberg, Insult Backfire.
Examples:
- In The League Of Gentlemen Pauline is called a "50-year-old lesbian." Her response? "How dare you! I'm 48!"
- Most famously done in The Empire Strikes Back:
Princess Leia: Why, you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf herder!
Han Solo: Who's scruffy-looking?
- Played with a few times in The Simpsons:
- In the episode "Hurricane Neddy", Ned Flanders goes berserk and insults several of the people who tried unsuccessfully to rebuild his house after a hurricane struck. One can tell he was starting to run out of good insults by the time he got to Moe:
Ned Flanders: You ugly, hate-filled man!
Moe: Hey, I may be ugly and hate-filled, but I... um, what was that third thing you said?
- "Simpson Tide". When Homer is suspected of having defected to Russia, Grandpa Simpson is interviewed as to whether his son is a communist:
Brockman: Could Homer Simpson be a communist? His father spoke out on his behalf.
Abe: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star!
- In a straight example, Mayor Quimby was described as an "illiterate, tax-cheating, wife-swapping, pot-smoking Spend-o-crat", to which he was shown to reply: "Hey, I am no longer illiterate!" (while watering a cannabis plant in his closet)
- From Futurama:
- "Why Must I Be A Crustacean In Love?":
Leela: Look at you two. No offense, Fry, but you've become a fat sack of crap.
Fry: (whining) Sack?
- "When Aliens Attack", after Amy replaces her stolen bikini top:
Amy: There. How do I look?
Farnsworth: Like a cheap French harlot.
Amy: French?!
- "The Farnsworth Parabox", in which Amy meets her alternate universe counterpart:
Parallel Universe Amy: The Professor was right. You are evil. And shallow!
Amy: I am not evil!
- A slight variation, from Mission Hill:
Andy: I run strip clubs and date sleazy women.
Shelly: Hey, how's that supposed to make me feel?
Andy: Sorry, not women. Woman. Just you.
Shelly: Oh Andy, you say the sweetest things.
- Tokyo Godfathers:
Miyuki: Eat shit, you old fart.
Hana: 'Shit' I'll take but 'Fart' I won't!
- Firefly:
Inara: Well, since I can't seem to find work as Companion, I might as well become a petty thief like you!
(An uncomfortable silence descends for a moment.)
Mal: Petty?
Inara: I didn't mean petty.
Mal: What did you mean?
Inara: Suo-SHEE?
Mal: That's Chinese for "petty".
- Destroy All Humans:
Farmer's Wife: AAAH! Little green spacemen!
Crypto: I am not green!
- Tales Of MU combines this with Delayed Reaction:
"You are the fat, loud girl's girlfriend," she said.
"Puddy's not fat!" I said angrily. Then, my brain caught up with the rest of her sentence, and I added, "And I'm not her girlfriend."
- Angel was particularly sensitive to this.
- The Professionals:
Bodie: Permission to be admiringly insolent, sir. You're a brave old bastard.
Cowley: Permission denied. Anyway, it's inaccurate. I'm not brave.
- Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Series:
Duke: They say you're a loser with a fetish for dressing up like animals.
Joey: I am not a loser!
- From the movie Metropolitan:
Jane: You're a snob, a sexist, totally obnoxious, and tiresome. And lately, you've gotten just weird. Why should we believe anything you say?
Nick: I'm not tiresome.
- A variation is used in the musical 1776. Abigail Adams recites a list of her faults that her husband sent her in a letter; John insists that he didn't mean most of them, but is forced to admit that "You are pigeon-toed". In a later scene, John begins to list his own faults and Abigail reassures him, but concedes, "You are pigheaded."
- Actually an honest-to-god historical exchange; if this troper recalls correctly it's paraphrased from a series of letters written while they were courting. Apparently the Adamses had an interesting and slightly tumultous marriage.
- Used in this Boy Meets Boy strip
 .
- A variation appears in radio comedy About a Dog, after Muriel's lover turns out to be married. Sarah is her daughter:
Sarah: Oh Mum, I'm so sorry.
Muriel: Oh, it's my own fault. I'm just a silly old woman.
Sarah: Mum, you're not silly.
Muriel: (pause) And?
Sarah: And you're not an old woman.
- Invader Zim, in "TAK: The Hideous New Girl":
Zim: Despite his huge head, the Dib-monkey is quite stupid.
Dib: My head's not big!!
- Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney:
Phoenix: this witness... is a big, fat liar!
April: F-fat!?
- Truth In Television: This editor once saw a flame war in which some one was called a "stupid gay mexican". Their response? "I AM NOT MEXICAN!"
- May be a reference to this bit by comedian Carlos Mencia.
- From the famous "Gollum award rant" at the MTV Movie Awards (when Gollum won "Best Virtual Performance"):
Gollum: "Shut up, Serkis, you stupid fat (BLEEP)ing turd!" Andy Serkis: "I am not fat!"
- Happens sometimes with Obelix in the Asterix comics:
Obelix: "I may be a traitor, but I am not fat!"
- The Suite Life Of Zack And Cody "The Summer of Out Discontent":
London Tipton: Ew, you mean I'm on a date with a greasy bag boy?
Cody's Boss: That's greasy assistant manager.
- Subverted in the 2003 musical Avenue Q, when Lucy the Slut tells a jilted Princeton that she isn't going to cling to some well-hung, jobless, broke, and talentless English Major, and then stalks haughtily away, Princeton slowly faces the audience and says, "I think I heard a compliment in there!" and proceeds to follow her off-stage.
- A variation on the theme from Xenozoic Tales: Jack calls Hannah judgemental and light-fingered. She swings the sails of the boat they are on, causing the boat to shift and deposit Jack in the water.
Jack: "Now why'd you do that?"
Hannah: "I don't like being called judgemental."
Jack: "You don't argue with light-fingered?"
Hannah: *swings an oar at him.*
- Narbonic:
Woman in Lost and Found: But who would claim a rotting, scarred, incredibly whiny zombie head?
[...]
Dave: Whiny? Really?
- The following exchange from the My Little Pony episode, "The End of Flutter Valley"
Sting: You're fat, greedy, and selfish, Bumble! You only think of yourself!
Queen Bumble: I am not fat!
- This was even done in Citizen Kane (and you know that makes it...):
Kane: You long-faced, overdressed anarchist.
Leland: I am not overdressed.
- A hilarious reversal of this trope is seen in South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut:
Cartman: Kyle, I'm sorry for all those times I called you a stupid Jew. I didn't mean it. You're not a Jew.
Kyle: Yes I am, Cartman, I am a Jew!
Cartman: No, don't be so hard on yourself.
- This exchange from an episode of Daria:
Tad: You're a mean old witch!
Sandi: I am not old!
- In Yet Another Fantasy Gamer Comic:
Baron Grayfort: You stupid, useless deserter! Traitor! Lout! Hooligan! Coward! Clumsy oaf!
Lucas: I'm no coward.
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