Gojyo from Gensoumaden Saiyuki lives to constantly remind everyone in the Sanzo Party that he loves the ladies, yet outside of one episode not canon to the comics, Gojyo has never been with a woman despite his good looks. He has the strongest gay vibes of anyone in the group, picking to particular person to shovel that on to. It doesn't help that the mangaka has a history in BL mangas.
Nor does it help that the next strongest candidate in the cast for gayness is his best friend and roommate of several years, Cho Hakkai. Theoretically, they are Heterosexual Life Partners, but there's plenty of room for question on the "heterosexual" part of that. And their past-life incarnations, Kenren and Tenpou, were even worse, up to and including outright joking about being a married couple.
The infamous Sailor Moon season 3 dub had everyone, even random Monsters Of The Week, blessed with the knowledge and the compulsion to comment on how not only is "Amara" the cousin of "Michelle", but so were Sailors Uranus and Neptune cousins. The fact that the dubbers were lazy and forgot (or did they?) to remove many Les Yay scenes made it even more of a farce.
Some hardline Sailor Mars fans claim her abortive crush on Mamoru in the television show (and found nowhere else) was an attempt to downplay the fact she Does Not Like Men, since none of the other boyfriendless girls has a similar subplot. Ironically, the idea Rei leans a bit is a running gag in later seasons. Newer adaptations seem to avoid giving her romantic pursuits altogether. The original manga version had her regain memories of her past life where she made a vow of chastity to the Princess. She gets no romance what so ever after this, though a flashback chapter does show that a man more or less broke her heart before she regained her memories which may have added another reason for keeping that vow.
In The Wavering of Haruhi Suzumiya sexually-insecure teenage narrator Kyon is very careful to remind the reader of his heterosexuality in this story where men seem to be constantly be implying attraction to him, either through Three Is Company misunderstandings or just being Itsuki Koizumi.
Now let me set the record straight, I am an absolutely normal heterosexual male. My preference for "the same team" weighs less than that of a humming bird, in other words, it's non-existent. Whether subconsciously or unconsciously, my preference has been "straight". See? Aren't I right? My body would go hot just thinking about Asahina-san. If Koizumi had called me saying such stuff, I would've hung up already. By the way, I'm not bisexual either. Do I make myself clear?
Actually, this might not be as deserving as it seems - Koizumi, for one, isn't all that homosexual in the original novels (largely seems to be an invention of Kyo Ani, who knows their audience too well,) and this is one of the only "I'm not gay" moments in the novels (presuming the fan translations to be accurate.) Kyon's wordy denials of things are a characteristic trait of his narrational style, and are as likely to be Thou Dost Protest Too Much (especially when denying feelings for Haruhi and/or his enjoyment of the crazy adventures around him) as they are to be genuine denials. Besides, that specific incident came right after what sounded like an incredibly Soap Opera-ish confession of love by an old classmate over the phone. It makes things a little uncomfortable for Kyon until the classmate clarifies that it's for Yuki.
Yuki of Gravitation spends the first couple of books reminding Shuichi about how straight he is. Less ironically, Hiro is also very conscious about his status as the token heterosexual around.
The creator seems to enjoy throwing in little bits of Hiro-Shuichi Ho Yay everywhere. Witness the pocky incident in the very first episode. Also when Hiro is about to leave the band ("Your dream is my dream!" "And your dream is my dream!"). However, his crush on Ayaka is perfectly sufficient to serve the purpose of pairing him up and signaling to the audience that Hiro is (mostly) straight and the Ho Yay isn't going anywhere.
And remember the doujinshis the creator published herself... we see Hiro is really bisexual, if anyone considers those canon.
A slight variation: In the hentai anime Frantic, Frustrated, Female and its sequels, the main character regularly refer to her friend as "onee-chan" (sister) and her landlady as "okaa-san" (mother), which is the emotional relationship she has with them. Every time she uses these words, and I mean, EVERY time, the subtitling is quick to point out that they're not related, and thus the lesbian sex scenes do not imply incest. M'kay?
Which is actually a lampshading on the creators' side.
Arashi from Paradise Kiss has to remind both the readers and George that he is heterosexual, thank you, about as often as the latter brings up the subject that he plays for both teams -i.e., fairly often.
Something of an example in Angel Densetsu. While not intended as gay, it was noted that the character Yuji displayed a lot of Ho Yay towards the hero. Thus, in later parts of the manga, Yuji develops some Belligerent Sexual Tension with Ikuno, thereby establishing him as heterosexual. But he still wanted to really to go hug him when he revealed his woobie past...
Kaorin from Azumanga Daioh says she's straight, though it's quite obviously a coverup.
In the Lucky Star manga Konata once stated while she is a yuri fangirl she is not a lesbian.
While not actually said, Shugo Chara! made it clear that Nagihiko is straight in episode 56 when he's assigned as the newest Jack's Chair . He refuses, and Tadase, as an attempt to change his mind, shows off his Bishie Sparkle. However, Nagihiko isn't at all amused by this. Later, when Tadase and Kukai tell Amu, a girl, about Nagihiko being the new Jack, Amu lets out her own Bishie Sparkle, to which Nagihiko cannot resist. This alone counts as enough evidence that, yes, he likes girls.
In Revolutionary Girl Utena, Utena makes sure to tell Anthy that she, despite all appearances, is just into normal boys. Played for Drama: Utena is only 14 and simply doesn't know what love is yet, and her desire to be straight leaves her wide open to the destructive sexual manipulation done by Anthy's brother Akio.
Later on in the series, this is Played for Laughs when Touga claims to be straight. Even though his Ho Yay with Akio is through the roof, and the two are actually seen rolling around on a bed together with their pants undone. Plus the number of scenes where Touga and Saionji are shirtless together for no apparent reason.
Even worse in the second light novel, when Touga asks Saionji out on a double date then denies swinging that way, despite the fact that he's nailing Miki in the novels.
In a case of "Have I Mentioned I Am A Heterosexual Male Today?", Kyo of Girl Got Game, a Sweet Polly Oliver worrying that her secret has been compromised, tries to reinforce her cover by going around groping girls wildly. The results are mixed.
In The Tyrant Falls In Love, the main character Tatsumi, even after he has consensual sex with Morinaga, insists that he "is not a damned homo!".
In The Familiar Of Zero has the flamboyantly Camp Gay stereotype bar owner Scarron, such as wearing dresses and having his all female staff refer to him as madamoiselle. Come to the surprise to both the viewers and the cast that Jessica is his daughter.
In Angel Beats!, Hinata has to continually reinforce to Otanashi that he isn't like that, subverted later in the series.
Played for Laughs in Baccano with Christopher Shouldered. Being under the impression that his Vitriolic Best Bud Chi might have a crush on him, Christopher tends to punctuate any sort of statement of affection with the fact that he's not into men, lest Chi get his hopes up. Chi just begrudgingly puts up with it like the rest of Christopher's eccentric behavior.
Ryo from FAKE claims to be straight whenever Dee comes onto him. He's not very convincing seeing how he always let's Dee kiss him and voluntarily kisses Dee at times too. He eventually gives in to Dee and considers himself a gay man despite having past hetero relationships.
Comics
One issue of Birds Of Prey has Black Canary going up against Talia, daughter of Ra's al Ghul. Talia's main power appears to be wearing stripperiffic outfits and dominating people with her vampy dialog. But Canary isn't the least impressed with her because 'I'm heterosexual to the bone!'.
Used repeatedly in several CAPTAIN EXCELSIOR strips after Ward sleeps with the owner of the Homosexual Intercourse. #47#48#51#52
Seems to strike Gotham City Sirens when Paul Dini isn't writing, Ivy must mention how she likes guys or fall for a male plant alien or yell about how she's forever alone. Some people really can't handle the Ivy/Harley relationship.
Deadpool deliberately cracks jokes about his own Ho Yay with people half the time, and spends the other half saying homoerotic stuff about Cable / Weasel / Spider-Man, only to immediately retract it and insist that he's straight. If this sounds contradictory, remember that he's completely off his rocker. Possibly the best example came when the Black Mamba's powers made him picture his greatest fantasy - rubbing suntan lotion on Cable's back at the beach. "That was not my fantasy! It was you - that Darkforce stuff planted that image in my head!"
And when he tried to prove to Black Mamba, Asp, and Diamondback that he was clearly heterosexual, he dropped his pants to show off. He still had on the yellow panties from earlier, when he was in a Marvel Girl outfit to "distract Cable with my sexy legs."
Fan Works
The Girl Who Lived: Rose Potter, who despite ogling naked girls and going to sleep with Ginny and waking up in a spooning position, is not a lesbian.
This is the main reason some hold to the idea of it all being mega-epic Trolling. He discusses what he has to do to 'stay straight,' nicknames himself Chris-Chan, compares himself to Chun-Li of all Street Fighter characters, and on and on and on, but is absolutely definitely not one of those evil gay people, really.
Light’s parents had made light’s bed into a double bed (I know what your thinking sickos no theres no slash!)
Light and Dark were in bed together but only because there parents were to poor to get separate rooms its not like their gay or anything!
he loved Dark which maybe he did a little but not really cos Darks not gay!!!! SERIOUSLY
"I am not gay" Darksaid because the readers at home might think so other ways.
"Where did you get him he is very hansom!" dark said but only because he was a clone of him HES NOT GAY."
Go to YouTube, and look at any Animated Music Video depicting a really close relationship between two characters of the same sex. A very large percentage of the ones that aren't shipping will comment in the description that it's not a yuri / yaoi video. Naturally, this makes you think about it more. The fact that they're usually set to love songs makes it funnier.
Marik: Wait a second, are you coming onto me? I already told you, Bakura, I'm not gay!
Bakura: Could've fooled me.
Melvin:And me!
Marik: Hey, shut up, you don't know anything about me!
Bakura: Marik, he is you! He knows everything about you.
Marik:He is the gay one!
And now Yuusei and Jack from Bonds Before Time Abridged. Yuusei starts the movie by assuring Jack that liking Top Gun isn't gay, as how could a movie about men calling each other cute nicknames, playing half-naked volleyball and riding phallic vehicles at high speed be anything but straight? He spends the final duel engaging in a lot of Ho Yay with Yami, before repeatedly waving it away with a 'no homo'. Yami is... much less insecure.
Yugi: You know, you always were my favorite protagonist.
Yuusei: Right back at you, Yugi. It feels so good to know you'll be playing with me. (sexy music, intense eye contact) No homo!
Occurs at least once per chapter in the infamous Supper Smash Bros Mishonh From God. As the narrator is a blatant Author Avatar, we can infer that the same goes for the author — though you should be able to figure that out anyway from the homophobic content.
In Uzumaki Harry Harry feels the need to remind everyone that he is "not gay" every other chapter.
Jay of the View Askewniverse. In Clerks he rambles about performing oral sex on Silent Bob (who remains completely deadpan throughout, suggesting he does this a lot), then leaps away, flexes menacingly and shouts, "I hate guys! I LOVE WOMEN!" In Dogma his response to being accused of fantasizing about men is "not all the time," which is as good as an admission that he does some of the time. Then there's his habit of referring to Silent Bob as his "Hetero life-mate."
Halfway through the "I Like Boys" number in Teen Witch, you'll be thinking those girls are obviously in serious denial.
From the comments section... "Having never seen the movie this is from I can only assume that this musical follows the story of a lonely lesbian girl who must deny her true passions while watching girls in leotards dance around the women's locker room singing about their heterosexuality."
Rapper Alpa Chino in Tropic Thunder has built his career around this trope. He's gay.
I love the puss (hell yeah)/I love the pussy (hell yeah)/I love the pussy rollin' down to the floor
Outlaw of Gor. Watney Smith is trying a little too hard to declare how turned on he is by girls, despite being the annoying sidekick of muscular blond hunk Cabot ("CABOT!")
Watney:(looking at a blond girl) Oooh, yeah, I love 'em!
Achilles with his words and actions in Troy, since the very first minutes of the movie. Cousin. Totally my cousin. In conclusion: cousin.
This backfired somewhat since, ironically, Achilles and Patroclus were indeed cousins, but this didn't preclude their being lovers in Ancient Greek society. Cousin relationships are far from universally taboo, whatever America/Hollywood thinks. Troy's principal inaccuracy was in making Patroclus younger; in fact, he was the older of the two (one generation removed) according to the Iliad.
The Iliad shows the two as close friends in the style of other Greek heroes; it was later Greek writers who put the two together as a couple. Pederasty was a practice of Classical Greece; evidence of it is practically nonexistent during Mycenaean times (when the Trojan war was thought to be fought) or during the Greek Dark Ages (when Homer was thought to have lived).
It doesn't get more blatant than the last line in Clue, by a man being blackmailed for being supposedly gay:
Mr. Green: I'm going to go home and sleep with my wife.
The joke in that particular ending is that he really isn't gay, he's an undercover FBI agent who has been pretending to be gay and to have been blackmailed for it. Or, arguably he really is gay, having to pretend to his FBI superiors that he isn't gay and for the sake of the mission he had to "pretend to be gay".
Seth in Superbad: 90% of his dialogue is about how much he wants to have sex with girls who are far more attractive than a guy like him deserves, with the remaining 10% being devoted to his obsession with his "best friend" Evan.
In The Lord of the Rings, especially the extended cut, the filmmakers felt the need to make sure that we pointed out that SAM IS NOT GAY, despite all the unfortunately Ho Yay scenes later on. So, they forced in a few scenes with Rosie, who he does marry in the book as well, but who's hardly mentioned.
A few scenes apparently equals one scene in Fellowship and the payoff of the marriage in Return of the king. Out of 12-ish hours of film. The fact that they got over the homophobic Values Dissonance that has come into play since the books were originally written and portrayed such a close platonic friendship between two men is progress.
Oddly enough they felt no such need with Merry and Pippin, who are as blatant and actually end up living together at the end of the book. Maybe they just decided to go with it in that case.
Nearly all male characters in the 2009 Star Trek film find some way to imply their heterosexuality, as noted by Red Letter Media's review of the film.
In Class Act, hip-hop culture is so foreign to Duncan's father that when Duncan begins associating with Blade, his father thinks Duncan might be gay! He finds out the hard way at the end when he catches Duncan having sex with his girlfriend Damita.
Obviously actual sex isn't an issue because the characters are toys, but in Raggedy Ann And Andy A Muscial Adventure, Andy feels the need to insist that, even though he's a soft, cuddly ragdoll owned by a girl who's into dresses and tea parties and all the finest in stereotyped little girl interests, he's a super-macho manly-man action type guy and he'll fight anyone who even thinks the word "makeup".
In Plan B, Bruno repeatedly hits on Pablo, kisses him, and proclaims his love for him. But he's not gay. Really, he's not. He's just doing all this to drive Pablo away from Laura so that he can get back together with her. The mere notion that he could like Pablo in that way for real is enough to send him running for the toilet! Likewise, Pablo isn't gay either and makes sure to tell Bruno that when Bruno tries to get them to kiss for "practice" for some commercial. Over and over again. They do eventually accept that they're gay for each other, at the very least.
Literature
In The Hollows series, Rachel repeatedly mentions not being 'wired that way' regarding Ivy (especially after she invites the vampiric Ivy to bite her in A Fistful of Charms).
Despite being surrounded by hawt bisexual men, Anita Blake goes out of her way to mention that by the way, she doesn't like girls at all and she isn't bisexual and so on and so forth. This doesn't stop her from snogging a gorgeous siren, or "holding fingertips" and gazing into the eyes of a stripper who's offering her a free lap dance, but... she's really straight, dammit!
Bella Morte, fountain of blood for a line of vampires with sexually-based powers, gave her mind-boggling oral sex in a magical dream.
In Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal, John, after being in an awkward gay moment, says things like, "Well, she looks like a nubile wench!" while pointing at an adulteress. (She was nubile, so points to John for working outside of his element.)
In one of the original Greyhawk novels, the protagonist begins acting as stereotypically masculine as he possibly can - openly leering at women, deliberately wearing worn out or dirty clothing, etc. - because he's worried that a gem he's been using to increase his magic is turning him into a woman. It isn't.
In the Doctor Who novel "Human Nature", Alexander has a reputation as a ladies' man who values free love. Since it's 1913, this makes him a bit of a social outcast, but he doesn't seem to care. Main character Bernice Summerfield eventually realises that Alexander is just gay and overcompensating with his denial, and Alexander's boyfriend is very confused as to why everyone thinks that Alex is some kind of womanising libertine.
Live Action TV
On The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert isn't gay, but he does claim that "Men know what men like". He also claims that the "Gay Agenda" (e.g. baby carrots) is to turn him, specifically, gay.
In the Christmas special, he repeatedly gets caught under mistletoe with his special guests. Eventually, he makes out with a grizzly bear. The end credits make a point of noting that 'Female Bear' was played by Matt Brady.
Then there's the rainbow-themed closet parties he threw in college. Or the spectacular line "refuting" the gay-rights argument that nobody accuses straight people of choosing to be straight — it went something like, "Damn right I chose to be straight! I wake up every morning and fight those urges!" Or thisDaily Show piece which contains the classic line, "We don't hate gay people." "We're just angry at the ones who turn us on."
when Ricky Martin came out of the closet. (Skip to 01:50)
"Just look at him on the cover of Rolling Stone! Surrounded by naked women... who I'm sure he is just seconds away from noticing! Right now, he's too busy staring straight into the viewers' eyes as if to say, "You and me man, both totally straight! Ha-cha!"
"I enjoy the theater, I've enjoyed it all my life, I enjoy it with my female woman wife!"
And while we're on the subject, TekJansen has obviously had hundreds of girlfriends.
In most of his appearances on SCTV, Johnny LaRue (John Candy) makes it a point to emphatically deny rumours that he is gay.
It was rumored that Star Trek: Enterprise was going to have the franchise's first openly gay main character, and that this character was Malcolm. In fact, it transpired the possibility had been discussed with the actor but was eventually rejected. In what may or may not have been a response to this, the writers started to show him talking about women or flirting with women pretty often. His actor Dominic Keating, however, declared that he played Reed gay anyway, and considering his interactions with Tucker, Archer, and Hayes, fans tend to believe him.
However, one episode involving the future crew being descended from the current crew as a result of time travel stated that he died a bachelor, causing him to look disappointed and vaguely pensive. It could be taken as an implication of his true sexuality, though that's probably not what was intended.
On the other hand, in the episode Shuttlepod One Malcolm — stranded in space with Tucker, and believing that they're going to die — spends hours writing letters to old girlfriends. At one point, while drunk, says "I think T'Pol's got a nice bum. Don't you?"
Lampshaded in the final episode in which Riker is speaking to Malcolm and then appears to ask him if he found Trip attractive - we discover however the scene has secretly changed, and Riker is now addressing Hoshi.
J.D.: [waking from an Imagine Spot] STOP IT! I DON'T HAVE GAY JUNGLE FEVER!
Turk (to Carla): Okay, we should go!
Even in the Musical Episode in which they have a song celebrating their "Guy Love", they find it necessary to mention that "There's nothing gay about it / In our eyes".
Jack Benjamin, crown prince of Gilboa in Kings, does this as a matter of policy, making a big show of what a boozy, party-hard womaniser he is. He gets a horrible surprise when he finds out his father has known all along. Quoth king Silas: "I've been keeping pictures of our family out of the free press for years... Wrestle it to the ground, numb it with ice, but you cannot be what God made you. Not if you mean to take my place."
Jack is the Ho Yay interpretation of King Saul's son Jonathan, who had a covenant and very... hands-on relationship with David—even while David was Saul's biggest enemy.
In a Friends episode, when Chandler is trying to get a date for Rachel:
Chandler: I say, Drew! Are you seeing anybody right now? (Drew looks at him) Og-ee-op, I'm not asking for me, I'm? I mean? No, I'm-I'm not gay, I'm not asking you out. I'm not-I'm not-I'm not gay!
Drew: I didn't think you were gay. I do now.
There's also "The One With the Baby on the Bus"; a woman mistakes Joey and Chandler for a couple while they're out with Ben, so later when two women start talking to them, this occurs:
Woman: So what are you guys out doing today?
Joey: Oh we're not out. No, no. We're just uh, two heterosexual guys, hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend, doin' the usual straight guy stuff.
A variant occurs with the narrator of Breaking the Magician's Code. The male narrator takes the opportunity in every episode to mention to us just how much he appreciates the Masked Magician's hot female assistants. This is accompanied by the camera work adopting a Male Gaze.
This just makes things more hilarious when he says something like "The secret to this illusion is hidden in the Magician's pants."
For most of her first season on Skins, Naomi Campbell (not that one) made numerous protestations of her heterosexuality. Since she'd say this in between passionate makeout sessions and sex with Emily, neither Emily nor the audience were inclined to believe her.
Tomboy character Jo from The Facts of Life balances out her butch behaviour when she first arrives by constantly referring to her boyfriend Eddie, and getting into relationships with men more frequently than the other characters. Efforts to femme her up became increasingly blatant in later seasons. By the final season, she was married and wearing a skirt. Presumably, this was either to make her more marketable, or to discredit the Les Yaysubtext between Jo and Blair.
iCarly: Tomboy character Sam has a few episodes that seem intended to remind the audience that she's not actually a lesbian. One of them has her becoming "girly" to impress a guy. But still ends up beating up a bully, impressing the guy with her strength... and he's never seen again. At best they have caused Sam to be considered bisexual, and episodes have just increased the Carly/Sam subtext by way of scenes like Carly chasing her around trying to get Sam to say words like "panties" or things like having Sam ripping a dress off Carly to perform in a beauty pageant.
One theory is that the attempts to remind the audience that she's supposed to be straight is the result of Executive Meddling, only for the writers to make it evenbetter. It does seem like the subtext has increased a lot.
With all of the Ho Yay on Whose Line Is It Anyway?, Colin Mochrie has reassured the audience that he is heterosexual when things have gotten waaay over-the-top.
After Ryan talks about how much he and Colin love show tunes:
Colin: I'm married!
After Ryan kisses him on the lips to incite a Drew Carey Spit Take:
This trope is played with by a character itself, not the creators of the show, in an episode of Glee where gay character Kurt, after coming out of the closet, decides to act like a stereotypical straight guy, wearing flannel shirts and attempting to speak with a deep voice, even making out with a girl, in an attempt to fit in better and believing it would make his father love him more. Throughout the episode he constantly asserts his newfound "macho" status, but no one really buys it (except Brittany.) He goes back to his normal, flamboyantly gay self in the end.
Earlier in the series, before he comes out, Kurt calls the club's disco routine "really gay." After Kurt comes out to Mercedes but before he does to his dad, Kurt tells Finn he isn't gay.
Santana, who tip-toed out of her Armoured Closet in order to confess her love for Brittany, only for her to leap back into it when she was turned down. The next time the two met, she blamed the whole thing on temporary insanity and made sure to point out that she was now going to write an awesome heterosexual song about her boyfriend. She then got so flustered by Brittany looking at her that she asked her to look away in order for her to remember her locker combination.
The song "Bret You Got It Going On" from Flight of the Conchords starts with this, ends with this, and is filled with a truly remarkable amount of Ho Yay. As mentioned several times in the episode, it's not gay when Jemaine puts a wig on Bret and spoons him, because he's imagining Bret's a woman.
Parodied in a sketch on Smack The Pony, involving two female actresses filming a lesbian kiss scene. One of them, clearly somewhat homophobic, is given to loudly expressing how disgusting she finds the whole process once the cameras have stopped filming, and at one point demands that an aide call her fiancee and "tell him I love him." Unfortunately for her, her co-star is clearly nursing quite a heavy crush on her at least, and keeps suggesting that they might need to retake the scene a little too frequently and eagerly.
Jerry: "This jacket has completely changed my life."
George: "Can I say one thing to you? And I say this with an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality."
Jerry: "Of course."
George: "It's fabulous."
MAD TV parodied Michael Jackson's "You Rock My World" and its video as "I Do Like Girls", referencing the tendency of several of his videos (including this one) to portray him as a ladykiller, while his Real Life behavior suggested he keep that part of his private life, well, private. Anything that did go off-message was too odd to tell.
Virtually every single episode of Supernatural features some little scene or line of dialogue for Dean to assert his heterosexuality/masculinity. Dean gets more than all other male characters on the show combined, often at the expense of his brother, who despite being shipped around in fandom is still by far the less slashable of the two. Funny, that.
These sometimes backfire quite spectacularly. 'Posse magnet' - Getting Crap Past the Radar or just Dean wanting to be surrounded by cowboys?
In 'Sex and Violence' Dean declares his glee over working a case involving strippers. Later in the episode we see him in a strip club devoting all his attention to bonding with a very male FBI agent. All the more amusing since the agent turns out to be the siren they're hunting and Dean was oblivious.
"My Heart Will Go On" has "Besides, Titanic didn't suck that bad." *Cue Sam looking at Dean funny* "Winslet's rack?"
"Out With the Old" continues this trend:
Dean: I saw Black Swan. Twice.
Sam:*Gives Dean a strange look*
Dean: Hot tutu-on-tutu action. Come on, Sam, what's wrong with you?
In "Let It Bleed" we also get "I was too busy having sex with women." (Naturally, fans have often interpreted this as Suspiciously Specific Denial for Dean.)
This lyric from the 'Pretty Bunsun' number on Muppets Tonight
Jonny Fiama: ''Pretty Bunsun... I'm not really into that...
An almost laughable use of this trope in one episode of The George Lopez Show, where a girl that can easily be confused for having two fathers has one or both of the men say some line that assures the audience that they sleep with tons of women all the time, multiple times, in every scene that they were in.
John Watson from Sherlock is very adamant about his straightness. Unfortunately, few believe him, including his girlfriends/potential conquests, who use that as an excuse to ditch him when in reality it's more because they can't stand his flatmate and best friend, Sherlock.
Frat boys Eric & Jeremy of The Amazing Race 9 spent roughly 90% of their screen time talking about how much they liked girls. Seriously, you could probably make a drinking game out of it.
An episode of The West Wing has CJ "outed" on a blog - based on not much more than the fact that she is tall, unmarried, and in a position of power. She spends the episode agonising over a way to flatly deny the outing in the media, while avoiding invoking this trope. In the end, she tells the reporters that it's none of their business, and then goes on a date with the man she is currently in a relationship with.
The Big Bang Theory has a Running Gag of Raj being Ambiguously Bi. They play with this in the episode "The Thespian Catalyst" which had Raj have fantasies involving Wolowitz's girlfriend Bernadette. The last one involved a Bollywood musical piece.
Raj: Dance number aside, I'm so not gay.
Notably averted on Teen Wolf. Stiles frequently asks whether gay guys find him attractive and seems worried that they might not, at one point semi-jokingly he asks his best friend Scott if he wants to make out with him, and when he and Scott accidentally end up in a gay bar, he's visibly annoyed when a random guy buys Scott a drink and not him. Despite the fact that his crush on Lydia is very much real, no effort is actually made to establish him as firmly heterosexual, either by himself or the show in general. Many fans believe/hope this means that Stiles will eventually turn out to be bisexual.
Music
"I Like Goils" by Type O Negative fits this to a T, written after frontman Peter Steele (R.I.P) posed nude for Playgirl and discovered a great percentage of the readers were male. Whether or not it is a parody of hypermasculinity and homophobia or played straight is anyone's guess nowadays.
Katy Perry's I Kissed a Girl: A song about girl-on-girl kissing that implies she is drunk and so "lost [her] discretion", doesn't even know the girl's name, that the name doesn't matter anyway, that it "ain't no big deal", that she hopes her boyfriend doesn't mind (got that, right? her boyfriend) and that it doesn't mean she's in love tonight. The video pushes it further, while not featuring even a single kiss, as it still ends as All Just a Dream, and she wakes up besides her boyfriend.
Anytime a rapper says "No homo," it's this trope.
Mocked furiously by The Lonely Island in a song called "No Homo", in which a bunch of male friends get together and do increasingly homoerotic things (up to and including both having gay sex and actually coming out of the closet), all under the justification "no homo", which means they were just kidding.
Unintentionally (and hilariously) subverted by radio stations who started blocking out "no homo" as a slur.
If I were gay, I would give you my heart/And if I were gay, you'd be my work of art/And if I were gay, we would swim in romance/But I'm not gay, so get your hand out of my pants. Courtesy of Stephen Lynch who ends up shagging the friend he's talking to in the song.
The song “Heterosexual Man” by Odds parodies this by playing it Up to Eleven. Bonus points for having The Kids in the Hall in the music video, the Kids being infamous for gender-bending comedy.
The Team America: World Police song "Only a Woman" plays this for laughs: Only a woman can brighten up my day/Only a woman can touch me the right way/Only a woman is allowed to touch me there/All I ask is that you're a woman. (Or a man.)
Not in the soundtrack, but onstage, not only the characters, but also their puppeteers, the whole orchestra, and the conductor stare slack-jawed in a seemingly endless awkward moment. Drives it home.
Video Games
Gears of War 2 arguably does this. After the raft of jokes about about the homo-erotic 'macho man' overtones of the first game the second repeatedly refers to Dom's Wife and hints at a romance between Marcus and Anya that never serves any purpose beyond re-enforcing his heterosexuality.
The achievements for the Co-Op Campaign go the other way with names like "Dom-Curious" in GoW 1, and "One Night Stand", "Open Relationship", and "Friends with Benefits" in GoW 2, leading to a darkly hilarious (and probably unintentional) moment in 2 where the tragic scene in which Dom has to Mercy Kill his wife is immediately followed by the game informing you of the progress you've made towards the 'Friends with Benefits' achievement. Speaking of which...
Taken to almost absurd levels in Metal Gear Solid 4. Snake and Otacon are living together with an adopted daughter at the start of the game, so rumor has it that Otacon was hooked up with Naomi in an attempt to sink the Snake/Otacon ship, she dies three-quarters of the way of the game, leaving Otacon free to dedicate himself to staying by Snake's side in the Epilogue.
In the first game, one of the things Zelos says in his first encounter with the party is "I'm not interested in talking to guys", which is occasionally taken as borderline Suspiciously Specific Denial, or at least protesting a bit too much.
Also not helped by the absurd amount of Ho Yay between him and Lloyd, and let's not even mention that he and Lloyd can end up together.
Guy Cecil in Tales Of The Abyss also reminds people this at times, seeing as simple contact from a girl causes him to shout and jump away from her, though in his case it's a majorDude, Not Funny! moment. When he was a kid, his sister and all the maids in his house sacrificed themselves to protect him while Duke Fabre was committing genocide against them. He ended up being covered by their bodies for several days on end.
Teddie probably fits this too, since, despite all his talk about scoring with a girl, he seems pretty into kissing Kanji or the MC during the King's Game...
Robot Unicorn Attack is specifically designed to induce this trope in a heterosexual male player. Heavy Metal Edition is a pretty good way to mention that you're heterosexual.
Brucie in Grand Theft Auto IV will brag about his female sexual conquests whenever anybody questions his sexuality. Notably, in the DLC "The Ballad of Gay Tony" Luis notices him trying to come on to him, so Brucie defensively claims that he was simply trying to see if Luis was gay.
Also in "The Ballad Of Gay Tony" the creators of the game went out of their way to show that Luis Lopez is straight, because the world is not ready for a gay Player Character. A minor hint is Tony only having a gay side earring and Luis only having a straight side earring. Although many jokes are made by friends about Luis's sexuality, they drown the story with "Luis, you're such a straight skirt-chasing idiot." and filling the gameplay with sex. (Don't Worry! It's Straight Sex, Players!)
In the gay community, wearing an earring on the left ear indicates being a bottom, while on the right ear means they're a top. Straight guys wear on the right ear simply because they never receive.
Straight guys wear on neither ear because straight guys don't wear earrings.*
Meanwhile, in the real universe, there's no "earring code", or at least no standardized one. Some locations may have a code, but you probably shouldn't assume anyone is a "bottom", "top", or even gay at all based on the location of jewelry.
There was some justification. Ash suffered an accidental Gender Bender, and fully intends to reverse it, so there are complications if Emily is attracted to Ash. Fortunately, it now seems to be a case of Single-Target Sexuality: Emily wants to help Ash get back to being male, but also desires a relationship now.
Hunter of Suicide for Hire does this to some extent when explaining why he defended homosexuality by holding a congregation of protesters at gunpoint. Justified Trope in this case because he's a teenage boy discussing his actions with his best friend who is also a teenage boy, and possibly also because a flashback shows his father's, er, enthusiastic attempts to ensure his son's heterosexuality (by giving him porn when he was thirteen).
Monette of Something Positive originally made a point of reassuring everyone she met that she was not straight. And she failed miserably, because she always slept with every guy within reach... and a koala. She has since improved on keeping her, or just met the right woman. She finally decided not to label herself as either gay or straight, and settled on identifying herself as bisexual.
Subverted in El Goonish Shive - Nanase was constantly reminding herself she's straight and blames her attraction to Ellen on Ellen's pheromonic powers, only to find out Ellen doesn't have them anymore, which means she really is a lesbian. Played straight with Tedd, who has often denied being gay because of his appearance. Considering what regularlyhappens in this webcomic, the sexuality of any main cast member, at some point, becomes quite debatable. There's every indication that Tedd really is straight (at least, again, inasmuch as orientation applies with EGS), and secure in what there is of his masculinity too. He only brings it up constantly because people are constantly questioning it.
Amusingly, Tedd is often romantically involved with Elliot in alternate universes... but always heterosexually (i.e., when one of them is a girl). The Tedd in Ellen's AU "childhood dreams" had a crush on AU Ellen (Elliot's clone) but she didn't reciprocate. Either the author is having fun (not only the readers, but other characters have been treated to Elliot/Tess or Tedd/Ellen, to their squick and/or amusement) or he's implying that the qualities that make Tedd and Elliot such close friends would also make them a great couple, if only parts and preferences worked out.
Faz of Shortpacked! seems to go out of his way to pursue women simply to reinforce his belief that he's straight, even though all evidence (including his actual sexual relations in the past) contradicts this.
Specifically, he chose purity over sleeping with Galasso's hot daughter, and slept with Ninja Rick. However, the latter was only so he could become a Twofer Token Minority (gay and Asian) and keep his job, and he has made repeated advances on Amber, which she hasn't reciprocated. He also seemed sad when Amber hugged him and he revealed he's never touched a woman as much as a simple hug before. Bottom line is that he may be straight, bi, or gay, but he is clearly messed up.
Faz: Faz requires platonic intimacy.
In the later issues of Sonichu, every handful of pages is guaranteed to have more than a few carefully veiled hints that the main characters and the comic creator is straight, and usually more than a few not-so-carefully veiled hints, along the lines of "I, Christian Weston Chandler, am straight". He sure brings this up a lot for some reason.
In an interesting inversion, Yuki from webcomic Ménage à 3 is afraid that she's turning straight (or bisexual) for Gary, as shown here. (NSFW)
Well, as Zii said, "She's not a lesbian, she just doesn't sleep with men", mainly due to her trauma.
Sonya, the waitress Zii tricks into making out with her. Notable in that she doesn't invoke the trope until later that night... while eating Zii out. And after that, apparently obsessively, on a daily basis.
That is to say, she apparently eats girls out. On a daily basis (her boyfriend has taken to bringing other girls home for threesomes). All while invoking this trope.
Sonya: Thanks to you, I eat pussy on a nightly basis!
Belkar Bitterleaf of The Order of the Stick, despite being a shameless womanizer, is adamant about asserting his masculinity at every turn, displaying Squick at the slightest signs of Ho Yay. He seems far more concerned about it than anyone else in the cast.
And yet, when Roy gets turned into a woman, Belkar hits on Roy, even though he knows it's Roy, just to mess with him, and claims he's secure enough in his manhood to be able to do that. Hmm.
Likewise when Elan's father wonders why they are staring at him (he looks like Elan with a different palette) Belkar fields the question by explaining that they are staring at him because he's hot. From the father's response this is actually quite common and Belkar again takes great joy in tormenting Roy about it, to the point of responding to Roy's threats with "That's what he said".
In Homestuck, Jake gets like this in his first conversation with the autoresponder.
GT: *Blows smoke off red hot irony pistol.*
GT: *NONSUGGESTIVELY!!!!!*
GT: Um.
GT: Yeah.
On the other hand, John's memetic statement that "I am not a homosexual", does not fit the trope, since it was in response to Karkat revealing his hatecrush (so not said gratuitously) and the only time John stated preference for either gender.
The (fictional) publisher of Jet Dream comic books created comics loaded with Gender Bender and Wholesome Crossdresser characters, but strictly limited boy-on-boy contact (even when one of the boys looked just like a girl) to "D-F-K" (Dance-Flirt-Kiss), and then only for "training purposes." This was apparently due to his idiosyncratic belief that at the dawn of The Seventies, men needed to adopt a "Fem Is In!" lifestyle to survive in the brave new mostly-female world that would ultimately arise from Womens' Lib, sperm banks, test-tube babies, and cloning.
In Sunstone Anna has shades of this in earlier chapters in her insistance that she is heterosexual, but this is a playing-with case as her portrayal of her sexuality is rarely consistent. Moreover due to the strong BDSM themes of the comic this also applies to the few recuring characters not in the scene; who tend to be introduced by stating they are not into BDSM. Again this applies to Anna in a Transparent Closet way as her growing interest in the scene goes hand in hand with her insistance she has no interest what so ever.
Gnarl: Er, did I mention my unquenchable love of the ladies?
As well as Radd and his player.
Sinfest: Both Slick, and the greater paradigm here.
Web Original
Mackenzie Blaise from Tales of MU spends a lot of time reminding the readers that she isn't a lesbian, but her relationships with women say otherwise, She's goes into some pretty heavy denial at first - For example, upon having sex with Amaranth for the first time, her initial reaction is to deny that what they'd done counted as sex, and then to inquire into whether Amaranth possessed any special abilities that cause otherwise straight girls to be attracted to her. Eventually, she gets over it.
Subverted at the very last moment in the Zero Punctuation review of Guitar Hero III. Mentioning several times how he got together with guy friends to play the game, in a manly and completely heterosexual way, he finishes the review with:
"...but it's just not as much fun as tonguing another man's balls. [beat] I mean, as it used to be. ...I'm not gay".
Also mentioned occasionally and in a off-handed way in subsequent reviews. Often just a quick "Not gay" thrown in after a particularity gay statement.
After a possibly love-hurt Non Sequitur in his Sims 3 review where concludes that all women are evil, he ends "Incidently, I'm still not gay." (His animated character starts lifting weights as a manly activity.)
Even in his Extra Punctuation coverage of Dragon Age II, where he talks about how he pursued a homosexual romance with a male character and did a little roleplay on it, to show how roleplay in video games shouldn't reflect on what kind of person you are in real life...he still mentioned his heterosexuality quite a few times...and then stated that David Bowie used to be an extremely sexy man.
The [title of show] Show's "What is [title of show]?" [1] bit from Episode 3: "Hey Jim, I'm straight, did you watch the game last night?"
Justified-ish in the Athena #1 review on Atop The Fourth Wall. Linkara takes a moment to announce that his dislike of female objectification and pointless nudity is not due to having a disinterest in the female form, since he is not gay. He then apologized to his male gay and bisexual viewers for this, because he's nice like that.
Amusingly, Doug Walker tends to go the opposite way. While Spoony and Linkara mention Scarlett, Liz and their fangirls quite often, his fiancée isn't mentioned that much. He'd rather say that there was a Mr. Critic or that he has a "lucky" boyfriend while making an oral joke or striptease for his brother for laughs.
Blogging Twilight has the writer describing, "The curve of [Jacob's] bicep looking like a roller coaster track that eyes, and perhaps fingers, cannot help but ride... um... GIRLS HAVE BOOBS AND I LIKE BOOBS!"
Homestar Runner: Strong Bad tries to assert his heterosexuality as much as he can, particularly after flirtacious scenes between him and Homestar. And then there's Email brianrietta...
The episode of James Gunn's PG Porn, "Squeal Happy Whores", features a guy singing about the sex he plans to have with the girl he's singing to: "I'll be so rough, you'll gag / cause I'm the opposite of a fag!"
Celery by FND Films is nothing if not this trope in a distilled form. Until the characters start making out, anyway.
William Murderface in Metalocalypse. It shows in at least five episodes, including a time where he won't eat any food that is longer than it is wide, because it's too close to a penis. Pickles notes that for this to bother him so much, he must be thinking about dicks in mouths all the time.
When Dethklok reveals that they will be designing a line of clothing, Murderface takes the podium and assures everyone that even though he is about to enter the fashion industry, he is not gay.
Tyler had a line like this on Total Drama World Tour, when he introduces himself to Alejandro right after a bunch of admiring girls did:
[Waylon Smithers enters with a woman holding his arm]
Bart: Mr. Smithers? I thought you were, you know— uh...
Smithers: Ha ha, no, I'm straight! As long as I take these injections every ten minutes. [he injects himself] I LOVE BOOBIES!
Pasila: Rauno Repomies is interviewed for television, but since someone mentioned the possibility that they might suggest that he's gay, he spends most of the interviews proclaiming he's not, until the only way to get out of the situation with honour is to admit that he is, even though it's not even true.
Kyle Broflovski is often Mistaken for Gay with his mortal enemy/frenemy, Eric Cartman. Whether or not it's because Cartman gave him AIDs, or because Cartman sabotages Kyle's date with a girl by singing to him in front of thousands of people, Kyle would like you to know that he is definately not in any way involved with Eric Cartman. Now Cartman, on the other hand...
In the King of the Hill episode "Goodbye, Normal Jeans", Peggy steals the turkey Bobby was cooking hoping to eat it with her hairdresser, whom she thinks is gay because of how he acts and talks. When she gets there, it turns out he has a wife and infant son.
Real Life
The infamous Real Life press conference called by baseball player Mike Piazza when he was a member of the New York Mets. The sole purpose of that conference, it seemed, was to announce that he was heterosexual. Rumors questioning Piazza's sexual preference had been getting pretty frequent up to that point.
After former U.S. Senator Larry Craig was caught having a homosexual affair, he arranged an interview that was essentially him mentioning he was heterosexual over and over again, with his wife constantly by his side. The Daily Show was naturally all over this. "And look! He's married! To a woman! A she-woman!"
And that's not even going into his "wide stance" excuse.
Ted Haggard is an evangelical pastor in Colorado and leader of the National Association of Evangelicals until 2006, when an escort and masseur claimed Haggard had been paying him for sex for three years. He went into intensive counselling with four ministers, one of whom later claimed Haggard "was completely heterosexual" This is satirised by the song "Ted Haggard Is Completely Heterosexual" by Roy Zimmerman. (Later, Haggard said in an interview "...probably, if I were 21 in this society, I would identify myself as a bisexual.")
A running joke on one season of Have I Got News for You was that whenever Jason Donovan was mentioned, someone would quickly add a variation on "Jason Donovan? Did you know he's heterosexual?" - a reference to his then-topical overly defensive response to claims to the contrary, having sued a magazine which said he was gay. Not because there was anything wrong with that, but because they said he was lying about it.
When Eric "Eazy-E" Wright of the rap group N.W.A. revealed that he'd developed full-blown AIDS, he spent the remaining few months of his life telling anyone who would listen that he didn't get the disease from gay sex, but from good old fashioned groupie banging.
Cultural critic Devon Carbado wrote that he liked to play a game when reading articles about and interviews with gay author James Baldwin: count how many lines it takes for the author to somehow announce that he is heterosexual, usually via mentioning a wife. According to Carbado, it is always (or nearly always) in the low single digits.
Hal Sparks, post Queer As Folk, seems like he has to assert that he is heterosexual in real life at every opportunity by talking about women he'd like to have sex with as much as possible.
According to Bronson Pinchot, Tom Cruise was like this on the set of Risky Business. When Tom Cruise's marriage to Nicole Kidman was breaking up, he sued a French gay porn star who claimed they'd done the deed. There was a reason for that South Park episode.
"Daaaaad! Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!"
Or the episode of Family Guy that suggests that the reason Cruise runs in all his movies is to escape his own gay thoughts (represented by an Imagine Spot balloon of himself noticing attractive men on the film crew).
Let's face it—we all know somebody like this.
We probably all were like this at one point in our lives, that point most commonly being early puberty.
One famous example: When Cindy Crawford and Richard Gere were married there were rumors that the marriage was a cover for one or both of them being gay. In 1994 they placed a full page paid advertisement in the London Times to state "We are heterosexual and monogamous and take our commitment to each other very seriously."
Upon becoming President George W. Bush's new Chief of Staff in 2006, 51 year-old bachelor Josh Bolten had a press release sent out, letting everyone know that he lived with his girlfriend and her children. Also, it detailed his loves of bowling and motorcycles.
When Cybil Shepherd addressed the 1993 gay rights March on Washington, she opened her speech by recounting how her father asked her, "Why are you addressing the rally? You're straight!" Gotta make sure to get that in the first paragraph, don't you know.
From an actual magazine cover: "Justin Bieber! He's young! He's a star! And he just loooooooooooves girls!" Glad we cleared that up...
This is not necessarily to emphasise his heterosexuality. The real reason Bieber is so popular among prepubescent girls is because he is a poster-boy for G-Rated Sex.
Christian Weston Chandler has a bit of a problem with this.
Fox News was more than glad to help clear up any possible rumors about 2012 Republican presidential candidate Tim Pawlenty. Just to be clear.
Vic Mignogna's absolute certainty none of the characters he's played are gay, even Ho Yay-filled CLAMP works, does make one wonder.
FCKH8.com has a line of anti-homophobia t-shirts, among them "STR8 AGAINST H8". Just so people don't get the wrong idea.
The number of times Kelly Clarkson has denied being a lesbian is becoming excessive. Possibly because, along with her weight, it's the only subject media and gossip sites want to talk about.
As mentioned in some examples of the folders above, many who post comments on the internet find it a requirement to tack "no homo" after an innocent compliment towards someone of the same sex. The only difference being that they usually do it unironically.
"I am a straight female but BOOBS" has been seen on many a forum/life journal. During discussions of that nature. And the male variant also applies.
The first words out of a straight guy's mouth who says he supports gay rights will almost inevitably be him stressing that he is in fact, straight. (Perhaps afraid of being Mistaken for Gay?)
Or perhaps because of the (obviously wrong) view that if you support a certain group of people, you must be a part of that group, right?
Kenny Chesney, particularly after Renee Zellweger claimed "fraud" in annulling their marriage after four months: "I've got a long line of girls who could testify that I am not gay."
After Seth MacFarlane conducts the Los Angeles Gay Men's Chorus in the 2013 Academy Awards telecast, he assures Captain Kirk (time-traveling from the future), "I'm not actually a member of the chorus. I just joined in with them at the end there.."
alternative title(s): Have I Mentioned That I Am Heterosexual Today; Did I Mention I Am Heterosexual Today; Have I Mentioned I Am Hetero Today; But Im Not Gay
