Toshiba used a similar argument in one commercial to tout their shock-proof hard drives, because if a power station tech drops his laptop and breaks the hard disk, then it causes a glitch and the power will go out. If that happens, then your milk will spoil. If that happens, you'll drink the spoiled milk and turn into a zombie, then bite your roommate, who will then bite others until zombies roam the land. So dropped laptop = Zombie Apocalypse, and that's why shock-proof hard drives are good. It's ostensibly played for comedy, but the ad offers up a bit of Fridge Horror when you notice that the guy following this loony-bin train of logic is the president of the company.
A Geico campaign featured a car insurance taste test. Yes.
Toast always lands buttered-side down. Cats always land on their feet. So, what happens when you tape toast, buttered-side up, on a cat's back? Infinite energy!
Anime & Manga
Each individual country in Axis Powers Hetalia thinks this about each other's customs, languages, and even their dietary habits. A bit of Fridge Logic for those who have ever traveled outside their own country and thought this about the place they were visiting.
Haruhi Suzumiya: Haruhi Suzumiya does this at times. Then again, she is something of a Cloudcuckoolander, but it's most likely that she doesn't mean it seriously. The prologue of the 4th novel had this nice dialogue:
Haruhi: "Crab is a no-no. I can't take it. Picking the flesh out of the shell drives me nuts. Why can't crabs make their shells edible? How come they didn't do anything about that during the course of evolution, might I ask?" Kyon (narrating): "They don't undergo natural selection in the depths of the sea just for the sake of your stomach!"
Haruhi's take on that classic storytelling element, The Climax:
Haruhi: There's something I've always wondered about. You often see people die in the last episode of TV shows and the like. Doesn't that feel unnatural? Why do they just happen to die at that time? It's strange. That's why I hate anything where someone dies at the end! I would never make a movie like that!
She keeps up this trend in the spinoff series Haruhi-chan:
Haruhi (seeing some cherry blossoms blowing by): Cherry blossoms... Petals falling... Blood splattering... Dig a hole... Bury... Under the cherry blossom... Kyon! Let's have a viewing party! Kyon: How do those thoughts connect to a cherry blossom viewing party?
Stop Bullying Me: Yuri seems under the impression that being in the school's book club will make people believe he is an honors student.
Seryuu of Akame ga Kiru! is so obsessed with justice and bringing criminals to it, that she believes that any crime is punishable by death and outright thinks the ultimate justice is killing people before they are able to ever commit a crime. After killing a group of bandits and rescuing their prisoner, she kills the woman for helping the bandits, despite her having only done so under threat of her own life.
Osaka from Azumanga Daioh is full of this, but one case stands out in particular: she concludes she has to drown in order to learn how to swim, since drowned people always float (she had not yet figured out how to float).
She also concludes that, since snails are not insects, they must in fact be bugs.
Isaac and Miria of Baccano!! have a lot of this. One instance is kind of like the Fat Tony example, in which he argues that just as you can get vegetables from eating steak (obviously, this is wrong itself), if you steal someone's wallet, whatever is inside then belongs to you. He also asserts that a mine in which gold has never been discovered is a great place to look for gold for precisely that reason.
Even better, the entire 'mining for gold' thing is linked with their usual career of thievery by Isaac claiming that they're stealing from the Earth itself.
One of their heists involved stealing the front door of a museum, so that nobody could get in.
Even better is his continuation of the "take someone's wallet" logic. If you pick up the person holding the wallet...
The Slash reveals that Jacuzzi's mind tends to switch to Insane Troll Logic when he's scared.
...A loud doorbell is scary. Scary like something dangerous. Dangerous like the Mafia, which means the Mafia have come to kill us, I know it! I have to hide!
Yoshii: You might not know this, but, in Japan there's a legend saying you'll be blessed if you confess beneath a legendary tree! And there's only one thing "legendary tree" could be referring to at this school... It refers to the legendary beauty, Hideyoshi Kinoshita!note Kinoshita can be translated as "under a tree". In other words, you'll be blessed if you confess to Hideyoshi! Hideyoshi: This is wrong on so many levels that I don't even know where to begin.
Durarara!!'s own troll Orihara Izaya does this all the time to screw people over.
Kururi and Mairu ideas on "twin-ness" are baffling. Thanks to their big brother, Izaya.
Shizuo also applies in episode three. After being hit in the head by a goon, he says this:
Shizuo: "You just went for my head, didn't you? ... You know that you could kill someone by hitting a vital spot on their head, right? ... If you know this, then you were trying to kill me, right? ... So you shouldn't have any complaints no matter what I do to you, right?!" (mega punch).
He later makes a similar rant taken to an even greater level, arguing that since there's a 0.0000000000000001 percent chance of dying from the "evil eye", beating up someone who glared at him is justified self-defense.
In the original show, Hayato and Kai are so mad that Amuro Ray wasn't executed for desertion that they, wait for it, desert. I don't know where to begin with that.
In the first episode of Minami-keChiaki uses her own brand of insane troll logic to convince her sister that her classmate's love note is actually a challenge to a fight. And Chiaki's reason for doing this? "He's popular, there's no way he likes Kana."
It doesn't sound so insane until you listen to her translation, wherein "I love your cheerful, energetic personality" gets turned into "Hey, you're really noisy and annoying!" and "meet me in the classroom after school" translates into "Let's fight once there's no one there to hinder us." Whether or not Chiaki was being serious or simply cruel is hard to tell...
In later episodes, Chiaki uses a new form of insane troll logic to adopt herself a brother (who just so happens to be a girl) simply because their last names are the same.
While Minami-ke is chock full of insane troll logic, Hosaka will always take the cake. Hosaka's brain automatically jumps from "Haruka likes good food" to "I must become the greatest chef ever to impress her." And it only gets worse from there.
An episode of Kimba the White Lion has a Prima Donna Director who's filming a nature documentary use this logic as to why he put a captive orangutan in his documentary, even though there are no orangutans in Africa. He says that because he and his workers are in Africa and that there's an orangutan (the captive one) right next to them, there are orangutans in Africa.
Haguro Dou from Wolf Guy - Wolfen Crest is a very scary example of this. Yeah, Haguro — people don't tend to actively go out and seek out people who want to do harm unto them. Soooooooo, why are you?
To make this even more twisted in every possible way, his version of Disproportionate Retribution is drenched in this. Some guy doesn't want you to bug him anymore with your psychotic shenanigans — and you believe that he wronged you by "ignoring you"? Well, why not settle this unfair dispute by kidnapping his Morality Chain, then having her chained to a wall and repeatedly gang raped for several hours in front of a camera where you have your object of "obsession" forcefully watch the act proceed as you threaten to release the video to ensure that said Implied Love Interest has her life ruined forever unless he transforms into a werewolf — during a time which he can't do so — just for you?
Gau from Nabari No Ou's blind trust in Raikou occasionally leads him to make questionable leaps in logic, including his conviction that Kouichi likes glasses so much that he draws them onto his face with magic markers.
Katsura from Gintama in particular deserves a special mention for believing that Gintoki could hide inside a tin can and writing an exam consisting of problems like "There are 10 Shinsengumi members. Six Anti-Foreigner Faction members run into them. Three Anti-Foreigner Faction members are killed. The Anti-Foreigner Faction members kill two Shinsengumi members but six more join them and two Anti-Foreigner Faction members are injured. How many noses does Jackie have?"
Turns 19 and 20 of Code Geass revel in this, with the Black Knights' betrayal by gunpoint of Lelouch based on some spotty testimony and failure to realize he didn't necessarily use it on them given that they were even able to go ahead with the betrayal, and Ohgi telling Kallen that they not need Zero any longer, evidently because they now had Britannian forces to help them find and kill Zero and get what they're after. The same Britannian forces they fought for liberation against, and were nearly killed by in episode one. Oh, and one of the people he trusts over Lelouch? The same woman who shot him during the Black Rebellion, because he's been stupidly in love with him. And never thinks to check her history to see how she got all that info or her agenda. In the end, they accuse him of using them, all the while not thinking the Britannians, which include Schneizel, would not. They realize how faulty this immediately. No matter how much firepower they have, in the grand scheme of things, without Lelouch, they're nothing.
Science Ninja Team Gatchaman episode "The Gluttonous Monster Ibukuron": The Humongous Mech of the title was stealing all the sugar it could grab. note Sugar is an important resource, fairly easy to get to when the relevant plants are growing, and Katse wants to rule the world. Dr. Nambu's reasoning was, "They're trying to make the children suffer by nabbing the world's sugar." (Subverted in that his secondary theory is "to throw the world into confusion.")
The episode became G-Force: Guardians of Space, "The Locustoid", and takes the screwy logic up a further notch. Dr. Brighthead (yes, really) says that Gallactor is trying to win the loyalty of children because, "If your parents couldn't give you sweets, wouldn't you go to someone who could?"
Why do the Angels want to kill countless normal people? Because normal people do not know the value of life, which in turn makes them evil.
And how are they planning on proving that humans don't care about life? By setting up a voting system where people can chose to either let hardcore violent criminals, for whom they give graphic details of their heinous crimes and who were previously on death row, live or die. Because if they choose die, that means people will kill others for no reason. The fact that most of the people voting assume it's a joke doesn't matter.
Now again, they release all of the criminals and tell them that if they can flee they can live, then they call them scum because they are committing crimes so they can escape being killed by them.
One Piece often has this for comedy but take a look at international laws directed at single individuals the world government pass. If you at one point happened to have had business with, be the child of, or have laid eyes on the wrong person, you might retroactively find yourself sentenced to death as an unrepentant criminal when he turns out to later become a particularly notorious pirate.
Mako herself is a master of this, often giving energetic speeches that baffle everyone around her, such as claiming that Ryuko didn't lose the tennis match she didn't even know she was in by claiming that since she rescued her beforehand, she "won at friendship", or telling Ryuko after her initial defeat by Satsuki that she needs to get naked to show off that she has bigger boobs than her. Oddly enough, her conclusion (getting naked) in the above example is right, even if her reasoning is wrong.
In episode 8A of Sakura Trick, Haruka's father said he doesn't want to see Haruka married to "some worthless guy." Haruka took that line to mean he'd be okay with a girl, because a girl is not "a guy." Lampshaded with a note pointing out her error.
Deadpool runs on Obfuscating Insanity, but every once in a while, his brain slips (another) gear and he goes into full-blown troll logic. Usually, you only find out which he was using after the body count is tallied. At one point, presumably, the thought process went like this: I got my powers from weird experiments on a mutant, therefore I am a mutant. I am a mutant, therefore I am an X-Man. I am an X-Man, therefore I need to wear an X-Man costume, therefore I will run around in Marvel Girl's old green miniskirt outfit◊. Cyclops was not amused.
The goal of the Dark Judges in Judge Dredd is to kill everybody. Their reasoning is that because crimes are committed by the living, living is itself a crime. Eliminate life, eliminate crime. (That law exists and is enforced solely because life continues doesn't enter their minds at any point.)
The Three Blind Mice of Fables. They'll be walking along headed for some goal (usually a fairly far-out one), and one will question if there is such a place/circumstance/etc. One of the mice (usually Thaddeus) will then say that since no one has stopped them or they haven't been told that their goal is not attainable, then it must be there, and all they have to do is find it. Rose Red has a particularly funny example.
In one issue of The Simpsons, Milhouse was convinced he was invisible thanks to Bart and some business involving Professor Frink's dumpster. When Milhouse found himself about to have the local bullies beat the crap out of them, Bart stepped in with this trope, arguing that there are many invisible things you can't see which are dangerous, so how dangerous could something invisible you can see be? Lampshaded immediately when Jimbo ran off with a cry of "Let's get outta here! He's using contradictory logic!"
In the Jackie Chan Adventures and Teen Titans crossover fanfiction A Shadow Of The Titans, the Ax-Crazy villain Gadjo's (mis)understanding of human relationships (romantic) boils down to women basically giving men sex to get them to take out the trash (and it's even WACKIER in full). The Titans are all stunned, save for BB, who's TAKING NOTES!
Harry: Oh, okay... So Magneto is okay, because you can see his face through the helmet, even if he tries to Kill All Humans and stuff, but Spider-Man's a bad guy because you can't see his face. Gotcha.
In "Bill Nye The Blooper Guy", the title character is on his roof, preparing for an experiment.
Bill: Hi, kids! Bill Nye here! And I'm going to teach you about gravity! It can save us all. As we know, there is no gravity in space. Earth is part of space; therefore, Earth has no gravity! Watch this! (Jumps off roof)
In Emancipation Dumbledore reacted like this to Amelia Bones' insistence that she needed more than Dumbledore's word in order to issue a warrant for Snape's arrest.
Did she not see that the crime was absolutely evident in and of itself? If Snape were to be arrested, he could be interrogated under Veritaserum and then she would have her evidence, but no, she needed the bloody evidence first! How in the name of Merlin was he supposed to bring it in, if the use of any truth potions was restricted to open investigations only and the stupid bint had refused to open the case?
The author himself uses this to create a False Dichotomy. Either you only have sex with the person you love or you sleep around constantly and hate yourself. Every single character in the story that has multiple partners is stated as having slept with dozens of people (at a minimum) and always feeling "cold and empty inside" afterward.
Hitomi: "It should be obvious to you now, if you know who I am, that it would be easier if you just answer my questions."
Mai: "If I do, you'll just have Natsuki kill me, then kill herself. Maybe you'll even have her torture me fi-" (Natsuki is forced to knee Mai in the leg)
Hitomi: "Easier for me. If you cooperate quickly, then I can have a little fun before I put the two of you out of your misery."
Mai: "FUN!? You think killing innocent people and forcing others to commit atrocities is fun?"
Hitomi: "Yes it is. And by putting people under my control, I enable them to throw off all their foolish inhibitions- their pride, their fear of the consequences, their sense of self-preservation, and most of all, their conscience! For those minutes, they can be as free as I am! This power does not only allow me to get what I want, but it allows me to do them a favor as well! Their lives are a small price to pay for that freedom!"
Suzaku in The Black Empire is still working for Britannia after the Black Knights free Japan from Britannian rule. His reasoning is that since it was freed with violence, it doesn't count and Japan isn't really free. So the only way for Japan to be properly free... is to reconquer it and then become the Knight of One so he can rule it.
In First Try Series Sasuke believes that Naruto couldn't possibly have been nominated to graduate early and pass because he wasn't. Because early nomination is political and the teachers told Sasuke they tried to nominate him but don't think he's ready. So the Dead Last has to have dropped out and be faking ninja. Regardless of the fact impersonating a ninja is illegal and Naruto is part of a Genin team.
When Sasuke does find out that Naruto legitimately graduated early, he believes that Naruto was an Itachi-level genius biding his time in the Academy to get around graduation age-laws and have everyone underestimate him so he could leave them in the dust.
In Easy As Falling because Harry became a (In Name Only) "DarkLord" in order to save Hogwarts from the Ministry, and kept them out using displays of force, McGonagall believes that the school hasn't really "saved." She believes the only right way to "save" Hogwarts now is to turn in Harry, allow the Ministry to close Hogwarts and gut the programs just like they wanted, and somehow become Headmistress.
In the Girls und Panzer fic, Innocence Need Not Apply, Miho's father believes that the kind of traditionalism that the Nishizumi school operates on is comparable to this when taken to its logical conclusion, as he does in the following example.
Mr. Nishizumi: “If before the invention of fire humans ate meat raw, then should they have continued doing so after they invented fire?”
In Silent Hill, Rose knows where to go by finding vague items; she always turns out to be right, but it gets odd when she MUST go to the hotel because she found a piece of a sign in some dead guy's mouth. It makes sense, however, since the town seems to follow dream/nightmare logic rather than that of Real Life.
In Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay, the eponymous characters are arrested and forced to eat "cockmeat sandwich". When Kumar asks the guard (whose dick he and Harold have to suck) if the guard is gay, he responds, "There ain't nothing gay about getting your dick sucked; you're the gay ones for sucking my dick! In fact, it creeps me out being around you fags." The group escapes before they have to put this to the test. According to George Bush in this movie, you're a hypocrite if you like getting handjobs, but not giving them.
The ending becomes this when you realize that each and every explanation offered by these so-called "great detectives"- as well as the one the mastermind gives them in his Motive Rant, which they end up accepting as the truth- relies on all of them accepting that the maid they saw was actually a mannequin. The actual truth, of course, revealed after they all leave, is that the mastermind is the maid, utilizing Latex Perfection to disguise herself.
Paraphrased from Monty Python and the Holy Grail: Witches burn. Wood also burns. Therefore witches are made of wood. Wood floats in water. A duck also floats in water. So logically, if she weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood! And therefore, Burn the Witch!. When they put her on the scales, she does indeed weigh the same as the duck. The townspeople first reach the conclusion that they can tell if she's a witch by throwing her into the pond, which actually is part of witchcraft folklore. Logically, if the accused floats, she's a witch using magic and must be burned. If she sinks and drowns, she's not. The hilarious bit is that in this case they're actually right.
Barbossa: "For sure, you have to be lost to find a place as can't be found, elsewise everyone would know where it is!"
Captain Jack Sparrow not only uses Insane Troll Logic, his logic is so insane that it quite nicely loops back around to making sense. Added to the fact that it alternately seems like Obfuscating Insanity and, well, just plain old fashioned insanity, yet still awesome.
Jack Sparrow: Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid.
The Dynamic Duo, Commissioner Gordon, and Chief O'Hara are attempting to figure out who made a murderous attack on the Caped Crusader — with a shark stuffed full of TNT:
Batman: Pretty fishy what happened to me on that ladder. Gordon: You mean, where there's a fish, there could be a Penguin. Robin: But wait! It happened at sea! See? "C" for Catwoman! Batman: Yet — that exploding shark was pulling my leg! Gordon:The Joker! O'Hara: It all adds up to a sinister riddle... Riddle-er. Riddler?
The same movie tops it later when Batman and Robin try to figure out the Riddler's pair of clues to his latest caper:
Batman: One: What has yellow skin and writes? Robin: A ballpoint banana! Batman: Right. Two: What people are always in a hurry? Robin: Rushing... People... Russians! Batman: Right again. Now, what would you say they mean? Robin: Banana... Russian... I've got it! Someone Russian is gonna slip on a banana peel and break their neck! Batman:Precisely Robin! The only possible meaning.
Penguin: Whenever you've seen Batman, who's he with? Criminals! That's who. Look in the old newspapers. Every picture of Batman shows him with thugs, and with thieves, hob-nobbing with crooks... Whereas my pictures always show me surrounded by whom? By the police!
Played for laughs in this scene from Black Dynamite, where the gang make a ludicrous number of associations to deduce the villains' scheme.
Major plot point in 1982's Alone In The Dark. Dr. Bain has come to replace Dr. Merton in a mental institute. Patients who really liked Merton come to the conclusion that Merton is gone, Bain is here, Bain killed Merton, and they ought to kill him before he kills them too. Granted, they are literally insane.
Speed Zone: When Vic comes to kill Alec, Alec tries to talk him out of it. He's placed money on a car in a cross-country road race and explains that the odds of that car winning are one hundred to one. He then reasons that since he's been gambling with Vic's boss for ninety-six months (12 months in a year X 8 years), his odds of winning the bet are four to one (100 - 4).
Alec: Their odds are a hundred. My odds are four. Vic, I can win that race even if that car blows all four tires and an engine!
Abbott and Costello's movie Little Giant brings us this gem where Costello's character attempts to prove (three different ways) that 7 x 13 = 28.
This equation is also quite common among their other acts as well (I've seen salesmen, hotel bookings, in a bakery...).
In The Gore Gore Girls, detective Abraham Gentry intentionally puts Lieutenant Anderson on the wrong track in his pursuit of a Serial Killer through a bit of Insane Troll Logic: When the Lieutenant asks Abraham what he was doing with the victim the night the murder occurred, he makes a sarcastic comment about witnessing to her and giving her a Bible. The Lieutenant points out that there wasn't a Bible at the scene, and Abraham replies that the murderer must have stolen it, and therefore the person they're looking for must be a religious fanatic. At a later crime scene, he manages to keep the Lieutenant looking in this direction despite the fact that this victim did have a Bible; obviously, the killer stole her Bible, then replaced it with another one to throw the police off.
Driftwood: (presenting a contract and pen) Sign here. Fiorello: I forgot-a tell you, I don't write. Driftwood: That's all right — there's no ink in the pen.
Vizzini in The Princess Bride, most notably when the Man in Black challenges him to a "Battle of Wits" in which both men each have a goblet of wine, the challenge being for the former to figure out where the latter put some poison. Hilarity Ensues as Vizzini delivers a long speech of increasingly baffling logic that repeatedly contradicts itself.
You have beaten my giant which means you are exceptionally strong, so you could have put the poison into your own goblet trusting on your strength to save you so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you — but you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, which means you would have put the poison as far away from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
This ultimately proves to be his undoing, since the long-winded ramble he gives couldn't be further from the correct answer: Both cups were poisoned, the Man in Black survived because he was immune to the poison he was using. Lampshaded in that the Man in Black constantly has this smile that shows he is fully aware that Vizzini's logic is completely insane but is going along with it anyway, except for a brief moment of worry when Vizzini mentions the possibility that he may think he can survive the poison.
Amazingly, his Troll Logic actually leads him to the correct conclusion: he correctly deduces which cup is poisoned several times. However, he is unable to make the final connection and realize that both cups are poisoned.
The Shining documentary Room 237 is ripe with this, putting forth theories like how there are scenes in the film that imply Kubrick helped fake the moon landing.
In Madeas Family Reunion, Victoria tries to rationalize the fact that she let her second husband, Lisa's father and Vanessa's stepfather, rape her in order to stay. Vanessa outright asks if she's insane.
In Peter Jackson's The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Pippin argues to Treebeard that they'll be safer going toward Isengard rather than away from it. Subverted because he's talking out his ass and just wants Treebeard to see what Saruman has done to the nearby forest.
Bowser has his minions begin abducting all the dinosaurs in Dinosaur Island, so he can "prove" his theory that the dinosaurs went extinct due to not looking both ways before they crossed the street; once the dinosaurs and all evidence of their existence are gone and his theory is thus "proven" true, Bowser intends to be awarded the Snowbell Prize (feeding the cooked dinosaurs to the committee awarding it) and be named curator of the Mushroom Kingdom Museum of Natural History, conveniently located across the street from Mushroom Palace, which he plans on pelting with garbage.
A game magazine once held a contest for the best logical argument based entirely on illogical steps. The winner was a proof that there was, in fact, "life after death":
After death comes the mourning; after morning comes night; beside the knight is the bishop; the bishop is underneath the pope; the pope has serious convictions; and with serious convictions you get life! (Source: http://danny.sadinoff.com/fun/quotes/choplogic.txt)
This is the basis of an entire genre of humor from the 60s and 70s: elephant jokes. For example:
Alice: Why do elephants wear green sneakers? Bob: Why? Alice: To conceal themselves when they run across pool tables. Did you ever see an elephant run across a pool table? Bob: No. Alice: See? It works!
Prove logically that a cat has nine tails.
1. No cat has eight tails. 2. A cat has one more tail than no cat. 3. Therefore, a cat has nine tails.
A similar joke asks, "Which is better, eternal happiness or a turkey sandwich?"
1. Nothing is better than eternal happiness. 2. A turkey sandwich is better than nothing. 3. Therefore, a turkey sandwich is better than eternal happiness.
Prove logically that a lazy dog is a sheet of paper.
1. A sheet of paper is an ink-lined plane. 2. An inclined plane is a slope up. 3. A slow pup is a lazy dog. 4. Therefore, a lazy dog is a sheet of paper.
The explanation of L-space: Books contain knowledge. Knowledge is power. Power is energy. Energy = matter. Matter equals mass. A library or bookshop is "a genteel black hole that knows how to read".
Then there's Cribbins at the end of Making Money. He intended to out Moist von Lipwig as archswindler Albert Spangler as a scam to get money out of him. But Moist outed himself before Cribbins got the chance. So Cribbins concludes that Moist, having kiboshed his scam, now owes him five thousand dollars.
The Auditors of Discworld reason that any sentient personality exists for a finite period, which is negligible in comparison to the infinity of Time. Therefore, they instantly cease to exist if they make the fatal mistake of identifying themselves as "I". The book Lampshades the Insane Troll Logic of this, but the erring Auditors themselves vanish too quickly to ever catch on.
Some of the less sophisticated members of the Watch (i.e. Colon and Nobby) have this approach to confessions. If someone confesses to a crime then you believe them, even if it is impossible for them to have committed said crime. The people you don't believe are the ones who won't confess. Only guilty people are trustworthy.
Catch-22 and its sequel Closing Time. Never let Milo Minderbinder talk. Or ex-PFC Wintergreen. Milo was able to make a profit by selling black market foodstuffs to himself. And rightfully bragged about it. The whole of Catch-22 is based on the idea that the military is run on insane troll logic, as is the US system of capitalism. Look at where Minderbender convinces High Command that the Luftwaffe subcontracting bombing the Americans to the USAAF is perfectly reasonable.
The eponymous guide proves that there is no life in the universe by first informing us that the universe is of infinite size, and that there is a finite number of inhabited worlds in the universe. Since any finite number divided by infinity is so small "as makes no odds", then clearly any life in the galaxy must be the product of a deranged mind. And that anybody you encounter is therefore just a figment of your imagination.
It also said that the Babel Fish proves there is no God. After all, it is so staggeringly improbable that such a thing would have been created by chance that it proves there is a creator. However, God has said that He refuses to provide proof of His own existence as with proof there is no need for faith, therefore by proving His existence, He simultaneously proves that He does not exist "and disappears in a Puff of Logic". The man who proves this goes on to prove that black is white. In the TV version, it is explained that combining all colors together in the form of paint equals black, while combining all colors in the form of light (from colored bulbs) equals white. Fittingly, the man gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing/crosswalk.
Legal precedent was established when the Guide was sued by the families of hitchhikers who had taken the entry on the planet Traal literally. (It said "The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal often makes a very good meal for visiting tourists" rather than "The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal often makes a very good meal of visiting tourists") The Guide's lawyers summoned a poet to testify under oath that beauty was truth and truth beauty, and therefore blamed life for failing to be either beautiful or true. The judges concurred, and in a moving statement, held life itself in contempt of court and duly confiscated it from all present before retiring for a pleasant evening's ultra-golf.
In And Another Thing..., the same people who use the Babel Fish to prove that God doesn't exist use the silver-tongued devil, an even more useful creature, to prove that Satan does. There's Lampshade Hanging about how little sense that makes.
Dirk Gently. His chosen career was built around using this in order to list anything he likes, even holidays to the Bahamas, as "case-related expenses", although since nobody ever pays for his services, such as they are, it's kind of a futile gesture. Luckily, most of his cases can be solved by Bat Deductions, not that he'll ever get paid for doing so.
Scott Adams' book The Joy Of Work includes a section called "You Are Wrong Because," a handy sheet listing various logical fallacies and suggesting the reader make a copy and hand it to a coworker with the fallacy they have committed circled.note A quick reminder: Just because someone's logic is flawed doesn't necessarily mean they're wrong per se, it just means their argument is meaningless. Two of the examples that stand out as examples of this trope are "Amazingly Bad Analogy" ("You can train a dog to fetch a stick. Therefore you can train a potato to dance.") and "Total Logical Disconnect" ("I enjoy pasta because my house is made of bricks.")
A contest in GAMES magazine actually had the contestants "arrive at an illogical conclusion through a series of logical steps" (officially known as the Fallacy of Equivocation). Yes, there was a contest on who could write the best Insane Troll Logic. The winner was this one: "Proof that there is life after death. After death comes the mourning. After the morning, comes the night. Just past the Knight is the Bishop. Above the Bishop is the Pope. The pope has serious convictions. After a serious conviction, you get life. Therefore, there is life after death."
King Azaz's cabinet justifies why words grow on trees:
"Well, money doesn't grow on trees, does it?" demanded the Count. "I've heard not," said Milo. "Then something must. Why not words?" exclaimed the Undersecretary triumphantly. The crowd cheered his display of logic and continued about its business.
There's also a cart with no visible means of propulsion that starts moving when all the passengers are quiet, because "it goes without saying."
Heck, the central plot point of the story is that Milo's task to rescue the princesses was impossible, but he was able to succeed because he didn't know that in advance.
In a short Italian story a king once decided to inspect his dungeons. He asked the first prisoner about his crime. The prisoner pled innocent. So did all the other prisoners but one, who confessed to numerous heinous crimes. The King ordered he be thrown out of the jail at once, so that he wouldn't besmear the convention of honest people with his presence.
A Serial Killer (who specialized in premature burial) in the Criminal Minds novel Killer Profile claimed that, while he buried his victims, he was not responsible for their deaths, they alone were. They should have tried harder to escape, and because they did not, they obviously did not want to live, and let themselves die, so all the alleged victims were not murdered, but actually committed suicide.
First printed in the book Science Askew, according to the proof that Barney The Dinosaur is the Antichrist or Satan, if you take the phrase CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR (since that's what his fans call him), then convert U to V and cut everything that isn't a Roman numeral, then the sum of the result (C+ V+ V+ L+ D+ I+ V) is 100+ 5+ 5+ 50+ 500+ 1+ 5 is 666.
Wayne from Brandon Sanderson's The Alloy of Law comes up with some hilarious examples, such as: "I bought a ward against [logic] off a traveling fortune-teller. It lets me add two 'n' two and get a pickle."
In the Star Risk, Ltd. series, Jasmine King left her previous job after her supervisor decided she was too perfect to be human, therefore she was an android, therefore he didn't legally need to pay her.
In The Qur'an Abu Lahab doesn't believe and staunchly opposes The Prophet Muhammad — to the point where the latter prophesies that Lahab will eventually burn in hellfire as an unbeliever. Of course, Lahab not believing in such things is unmoved by such a threat. The IST / Catch-22 comes when some use this passage to reason that Lahab could have easily have proven Muhammad's prophecy wrong and thereby scored further points by simply converting to Islam — as it would thereby let him avoid going to hell (as according to Islam). Yes, Lahab ought to have debunked the teachings and inspiredness of Muhammad by accepting the teachings and inspiredness of Muhammad, according to the Da Rules as dictated by teachings and inspiredness of Muhammad...
The Tamuli trilogy features Insane Troll Logic from an actual Troll! (Ok, one of their Gods, but still). Ulath and Tynian are able to travel around in 'No Time', in which the Troll Gods freeze time to allow someone to move large distances in between seconds. However, while in this space between spaces they are still able to percieve the actions of the people around them in real-time. How is this paradox reconciled? Because the Troll Gods think that it works that way.
In the Resident Evil novel City of the Dead, Chief Irons holds Claire Redfield at gunpoint and demands to know why she's there. When she tries to explain that she only wants to finds her brother, Chris Redfield, Irons comes to the conclusion that since Chris had worked against him that Chris worked for Umbrella — and by extension thus Claire works for Umbrella and was sent by Umbrella to kill Irons. And no amount of explaining on Claire's part can convince him otherwise, as he takes her complete and utter bewilderment of his accusations as an admission of guilt.
Referenced in Robert A. Heinlein's The Star Beast. "A petition has been brought before the court seeking a destruction order for the animal Lummox. The petition is rejected as the court finds itself unable to follow the alleged reasoning."
"If you can touch the clocks and never start them, then you can start the clocks and never touch them. That's logic, as I know and use it."
In the Rainbow Magic series, Jack Frost's reason for going after the Green Fairies was because he wanted goblins to be the only green thing around, not realizing that green meant ecology.
This is done repeatedly in The Colbert Report. One of the most absurd examples is the Da Colbert Code, where Stephen Colbert makes predictions using free association, starting with actors' names and titles of movies.
...and again in 2009, without error. (Da Colbert Code actually spat out the right answer twice in a row when he didn't like the answer and tried again, until he finally blatantly picked the one he "wanted" to win.)
He also used the Da Colbert Code to predict the outcome of the 2008 election through free-associations intended to link to John McCain but kept coming up with Barack Obama, much to his dismay.
The Nostradamus Explanation of Why Bush is Mabus, from Penn & Teller: Bullshit! Flip the M upside down, drop the A, and add the "silent latin H" on the end, and you get Wbush, or W. Bush. Which is clearly what Nostradamus meant when he called the guy Mabus.
The Nostradamus Explanations of Why either Saddam Hussein or Osama bin Laden was Mabus was just as random. And now there's also the little problem of both being dead...
A documentary about Nostradamus on The History Channel used similar logic, combining the last two letters of Osama's first name, with the first three letters of Bush's surname, to "prove" that Bush and Bin Laden were both Mabus.
In the War on Porn episode anti porn crusader Gail Diangs is hell bent on eliminating all forms of adult entertainment altogether, citing it as torture on women, violent and a gateway drug to pedophilia. She became upset when asked about evidence and studies because, by her own admission, there were none.
Played for laughs when interviewing the main "The LHC will kill us all!" proponent on The Daily Show, whose logic on giving it a 50/50 chance of destroying the world was "It'll either happen or it won't, thus there are two possibilities, and since it can be either one, it has to be 50/50."
John Oliver: I don't think that's how probability works.
Then beautifully parodied when John Oliver pretends to believe it is a 50/50 chance and offers that when the world ends he and the (male) proponent of the LHC-myth should try and repopulate the earth. After all, even if they're both males, there's still a 50/50 chance of them being able to successfully reproduce (it either will happen or it won't).
An episode of Charmed opened with Billie coming up with a completely logical plan to find her sister, Christy, who'd been abducted as a child: the demonic forces who likely abducted her would need a powerful agent to move through in the mortal world, and who's more powerful than corporate America? So, she found a guy who was abducted as a kid — just like Christy — and now works for "corporate America" (which part? GlaxoSmithKline? WalMart? Vivid Video?), and she's meeting with him for lunch to see if there's any trace of demonic residue. It says a lot about the general quality of the episode that this plan actually scores results. Also keep in mind that in Charmed demons can teleport at their leisure, making their "powerful agent" completely unnecessary in the first place. Thus this is a case of Poe's Law, since its not meant to be a parody but it's taken seriously. Now you understand why in certain circlesCharmed writers were known as 'Crack Monkeys'.
The 1960s Batman show used a lot of this in Batman's free association logic, especially in Riddler episodes. Even if the actual answers to the riddles were straightforward, Batman had to employ a lot of Insane Troll Logic to figure out how they related to anything relevant. Penguin actually used to this to his advantage in one episode by leaving behind a purposefully cryptic (and bugged) umbrella for Batman to find, knowing he'd assume it was a clue. Penguin himself had no plans for a crime. He simply listened to Batman and Robin guess at what his next heist would be and make their plan to stop him. Armed with the knowledge of both how to commit his crime and how Batman would try to stop it, Penguin then successfully pulled off the heist.
In John Cleese's The Strange Case Of The End Of Civilization As We Know It, the CIA representative asks the Best Minds of the Police of Five Continents what they should do about Moriarty's plot to destroy civilization, etc., noting that "this fiend will stop at nothing." The Best Mind of the Police of Africa proposes that they do nothing, since if Moriarty will stop at nothing, if they do nothing he will stop. The CIA man tries to find the flaw in this, but only ends up muttering "If we do anything, he won't stop, so...."
Earlier, havoc ensues when the CIA man reporting to the President of the United States (who is not Gerald Ford, honest) insists on responding to a question with "Negative".
"You found a negative?" "No, I was speaking IN the negative." "HE found a negative?" "He was speaking in the negative too." "You mean... there was a photograph of you speaking to me... and the negative was in Groppinger's diary?
The majority of Michael Kelso's thought processes on That '70s Show are this. Some examples:
Point A: Kelso needs a new vehicle for Brooke and their soon-to-be-born child after his van is destroyed. Point B: The two-seater mini-convertible is frickin' sweet, always a good thing in a vehicle. Path A-B: Babies are tiny, the mini-convertible is tiny, therefore the mini-convertible is better for the baby than a sedan or van.
Point A: You cannot steer a canoe on land (tied to a car or sliding down a mountain). Point B: You can use a paddle to steer a canoe. Path A-B: It does not matter if you are on land, because you can steer a canoe with a paddle, duh.
Similar to the Daily Show example above: In an episode of Corner Gas, someone asks, "What are the chances that we have a riot in Dog River?" Karen answers in all seriousness, "I'd say 50-50: either we get a riot, or we don't."
The Trope Namer, using this phrase as a miniature Running Gag, appearing in three episodes. Ironically, its uses aren't really examples as two of them refer to literal trolls. Xander's original comment when asked to choose between Willow and Anya, by Olaf the Troll: "I... I'm not choosing between my girlfriend and my best friend! You're insane. That's insane troll logic!" In a flashback, Anya's then-boyfriend Olaf, whom she later turns into the aforementioned Troll, says to her "Your logic is insane, like that of a Troll!" While Buffy is talking to a recently-risen vampire about her failed relationships, he asks her whose fault her parents' divorce was, to which she responds, "Ok, y'know what? This is beyond evil; this is insane troll logic. What do my parents have to do with this?"
Speaking of insane troll logic, Principal Snyder (who employs such logic to pin blame on Buffy and her allies for anything and everything) is referred to as the troll by several Scoobies...
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia has a generous helping of this, given that all its characters are Jerk Assidiots. For example, this is Charlie's explanation of why burning trash in the bar's furnace is environmentally sound: If he threw it away, it would just be packed into a landfill, but burning it saves heating money and converts the trash to warmth and also gives the bar the nice, smokey burning trash smell. Also, instead of just rotting away on the earth, the burned trash turns to smoke and eventually goes into the air where it turns into stars.
Mac: That doesn't sound right, but I don't know enough about stars to dispute it.
Chris Morris's sketch show Jam features a sketch in which stupid people are employed to engage in arguments, the idea being that they are so incompetent at logic that their opponents will simply give up in frustration.
A favored tactic of Kelly Bensimon on The Real Housewives of New York City. She likes to start arguments with outrageously flawed statements as their centerpiece. For example, she once explained that the reason that she and another woman saw things so differently was because "I'm a blonde, you're a brunette". Even if that mattered, it's not true: Kelly's hair is dark auburn, not even close to blond. It's possible that she knows that this gives her an advantage, in the sense that there's no possible comeback when someone's gone and played the cray-cray card; but it's more likely that she's just an angry Cloudcuckoolander speaking her honest mind.
Young Blades: In "The Chameleon," the young King Louis XIV reads part of a book from India saying that the Master of Changing Light, after years of intense study and training, can make himself look like other people. He tries concentrating for a few seconds and then gives up. Leads to this scene later in the episode:
D'Artagnan: What if I told you there is an impostor in Paris who can look like anyone?...
Louis: You've been reading that book of fairy tales, haven't you? The Master of Changing Light?... Pure fantastical nonsense! I mean, I tried it myself, and if the King of France can't bend his appearance to the force of his will, I ask you, who can?
In Keeping Up Appearances, Hyacinth's social-climbing attempts and rationales can sometimes take on this edge. She once asked Richard to smile while doing the gardening so that if any people she was trying to impress happened to drop by they'd assume that they could afford a gardener but choose not to because Richard enjoyed it so much.
This crops up in just about every speech given by Roderick Spode who is meant to be a parody of Sir Oswald Mosley in Jeeves and Wooster. Some of his ideas include creating a giant collapsible channel bridge to drown anyone who tries to cross and wants to replace 27,000 miles of railway track in order to widen their spacing by eight inches to facilitate the transportation of livestock, paid for by the fact that sheep will be able to stand sideways
On Martin, the title character's CD player has gone missing and he spends the whole episode trying to figure out who took it. It turns that Martin's upstairs neighbor, Brotha Man, borrowed it without Martin's knowledge. Brotha Man explains that he left a note for Martin underneath his bathroom sink, figuring that Martin would eventually look there because Brotha Man had used up all the toilet paper. Everyone in the room, including Martin, is rendered speechless as Brotha Man casually shuffles out the window.
ThisA Bit of Fry and Laurie sketch uses it brilliantly. During the interrogation, when the woman accused of being a lesbian points out that she's married a Bishop of the Church of England, the Prosecutor points out that the Church owns land. Land upon which houses have been built. Houses in which it is statistically probable that private acts of lesboid love have been committed.
In A Study in Pink, the first episode of Sherlock, the killer tells the eponymous detective that he committed no murders and that his victims all committed suicide because he gave them two pills: one poisoned, one not, and forced them at gunpoint to choose one, and every victim chose wrong.
In The Facts of Life, Jo has been getting low grades in her journalism class. Her teacher, Mr. Gideon, tells her to get the facts and give her the acronym "Fast, Accurate, Credible, and True" to help her decide what to write on. After he berates her for writing a good story with facts that were out of date (but she had no way of knowing they were out of date), she continues looking for a story that will impress him. Next, some delivery guy named Roy tells her Mr. Gideon was arrested at a cocaine party. Jo checks the facts by calling the police for details, then writes a story that appears on the front page of the school newspaper. The troll logic here is that Jo wants to get a good grade in her journalism class, so to impress her teacher, she writes a smear piece on the same teacher, which gets him fired.
Both Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute on The Office have an issue with logic, but not normally for the same reasons, although Dwight is guilty of going along with whatever Michael says. Both characters seem to lack any sense of logic whatsoever, although Dwight seems to rationalize a bit better than Michael.
Married... with Children's Al Bundy often uses this for marriage, wives, and the husbands that have to suffer, including himself.
In the Fraggle Rock episode "The Preachification of Convincing John", Mokey has very sensible (albeit wrong) reason for wanting the Fraggles to stop eating Doozer constructions. When this fails to persuade everyone, she recruits Convincing John, who explains it like this:
Well you eat a Doozer tower, And it's as pretty as a flower, And a flower's what you pick up in a field, But the field can have a hole, And you can fall in while you stroll, And then a Gorg can come along to find a meal, And he can pack you in a sack, And you can try to scramble back, But you'll never, ever, ever get free, 'Cause every time you eat a tower you'll be shut up for eternity!
In the premiere of Coupling, Susan breaks up with Patrick, and tells him that she had not been faithful to him. When he reveals that he had also been seeing someone else, she gets very upset, accusing him of cheating. When he calls her on her hypocrisy, she "explains" that "I wasn't cheating! I wasn't being faithful. You were being faithful, and that means you were cheating. And I thought I knew you."
M*A*S*H: While in temporary command, Burns bans gambling. Hearing the kitchen guy lost $300 dollars, he claims it must have been stolen. When told the money was lost at gambling, Burns' reasoning is that since he banned gambling, then there isn't any gambling, so the money couldn't have been lost at gambling, so it must've been stolen.
Kryten: But it seemed to me that if humanoids eat chicken then obviously they'd eat their own species; otherwise they'd just be picking on the chicken.
In The Twilight Zone episode, "A Penny for your thoughts," Hector Poole (Dick York) can hear the thoughts of others. When he tries to convince his boss, Mr. Bagby, that the accountant, Mr. Smithers, is going to rob the bank, Bagby isn't convinced when Poole tells him Smithers' plan. Instead, Bagby reasons that Smithers is the bank's most trusted employee and that's who always robs the bank, the most trusted employee. Smithers is trusted, therefore, he's going to rob the bank.
Many of Ernie and Bert's routines on Sesame Street are variations on this.
Everybody: Wouldn't it be great if everybody had a gun?...
Also, their "Don't Go Into Politics" concludes that going into politics, science, or music is a bad idea, because so many famous politicians, scientists, and musicians are now dead.
In the song "Bubba Shot the Jukebox" by Country Music singer Mark Chesnutt, the title character gets angered by a song on the jukebox and shoots it. When the cops arrive, this trope occurs:
Reckless discharge of a gun, that's what the officer's a-claimin'
Bubba hollered, "Reckless, hell — I hit just where I was aimin'!"
The Lonely Island song "Threw It On The Ground" has a scene of the protagonist at the farmer's market with his "so-called girlfriend", who hands him her cellphone, stating it's his dad. He then throws it on the ground, because his dad's "not a phone! DUH!"
When he's doing a report on bats, he classifies them as bugs because they fly, they're ugly, and they're hairy. He also says he'll get an A on his paper because he's using a "professional" clear plastic binder.
Calvin also protests going to school because if ignorance is bliss, then his education is a violation of his right to the pursuit of happiness. He puts on a patriotic, American Revolution-esque shtick, and when his teachers chase him as he tries to leave the classroom, he calls them "monarchists."
Dilbert: Reading increases my knowledge, and knowledge is power. Dogbert: But power corrupts... and corruption is a crime... and crime doesn't pay... if you keep reading, you'll go broke!!! Dilbert: It... it always seemed so harmless! Dogbert: Yeah, that's what the librarians want you to think.
Another Dilbert story arc introduced Dan the Illogical Scientist, who was a practiced hand at this sort of thing.
Dan: I'm much smarter than you because scientists have invented many things. Dilbert: But those are other scientists, not you. Dan: Apparently you don't understand how science works. ... Dan: That idea won't work. I know because I've read many reports about ideas that didn't work. Alice: You haven't even looked at my idea. Dan: Oh, I get it; you're one of those religious nuts.
The Pointy-Haired Boss uses insane troll logic on several occasions. In at least one occasion, one of these hell-spawned managerial decisions causes Dilbert's head to explode.
Pearls Before Swine featured Rat wearing a hat that he claimed made him immortal. His logic was that he wore it and he hadn't died yet.
Pogo does this constantly. For example, when Albert is on trial for allegedly eating Pup-Dog, Seminole Sam produces a fish skeleton as evidence, arguing that Pup-Dog was so fond of water he was "jus' like a fish." Porkypine refutes him by pointing out that it's a catfish skeleton.
Often, the characters would attempt to outwit each other, each using their own Insane Troll Logic. The results were... frequently astonishing.
Howland Owl: Seminole Sam's hair tonic growed hair on me! Why you so worried about that watermelon?
Seminole Sam(listening to the melon): Worse than I thought! The melon has no pulse!
Albert: Mebbe it's holdin' its breath?
Sally Forth (Howard) subverts this trope. Hilary tells Sally that since she told her Christmas was about giving, she took the egg carton out of the fridge and put the eggs in a plastic bag. It turns out to make sense, however, when it's revealed in the next strip that Hilary had used the egg carton to make an ornament for Sally.
The Goon Show based a huge portion of its humor around this kind of logic. One of the best known examples is the exchange between Eccles and Bluebottle that is usually referred to by its first line, "What time is it, Eccles?" In this example, Eccles explains in a perfectly logical sequence of total nonsense that he knows what time it is, because he has the time written on a piece of paper in his pocket.
Im Sorry I Havent A Clue uses a lot of this logic, either taking it seriously (of course Mornington Crescent is a real, rational game with a long and detailed history) or as one-off gags and quick silliness.
Humph: Graeme, why are cashew nuts never sold in their shells?
Graeme: Ah, that's because cashews are actually monkey kidneys. And monkey kidneys don't come in shells, they come in monkeys. That would bulk out the packaging too much.
In Big Finish Doctor Who, an Eldritch Abomination named Zagreus possesses the Doctor. The TARDIS manages to lock him up inside her. Zagreus tells her that he's dead now, so she'd better let him out. When the TARDIS pointedly remarks that dead people generally don't talk, Zagreus tries to convince her that she's mad for talking back to a dead person, so she'd better let him out.
For example, he's willing to donate all of his organs except his eyes. He doesn't want to donate his eyes because he's afraid of becoming a blind ghost. Even though he is convinced that blind people will get eyes in the afterlife.
Another example: Karl believes that snakes and spiders like hiding under rocks. The Earth is essentially a giant rock, with Australia underneath. That's why there's so many snakes and spiders in Australia.
That could also be used to explain why there are no venomous snakes in Maine.
Karl thought the dodo went extinct because it tasted terrible and no-one wanted to eat it.
Bill Cosby has a famous routine about him being rudely awakened by his wife, and his daughter asking him if she can have cake for breakfast. He decides it must be healthy because it has eggs, wheat and milk in it, and says yes. His wife then comes down, sees what the kids are eating, "has a conniption", and then sends him back to the bedroom... which is where he wanted to go in the first place.
In Paranoia, playing along with The Computer's Insane Troll Logic is a major survival skill and plot instigator.
On the other hand, the Spurious Logic skill in early editions is not an example — the logic is sane, but the initial claim is a lie ("I'm an undercover Violet, Violets are cleared for plasma generators, therefore I'm cleared for this plasma generator").
This is part of the appeal of Warhammer 40,000's Orks. Imperial scholars theorize that somewhere in the distant past a Mekboy built two superficially identical vehicles, one of which was painted red. Due to an immeasurable internal difference, the red vehicle went faster, so the Orks decided it was due to the color scheme, a belief they've stuck with ever since. Since the Orks are unconsciously, latently psychic, this means that any vehicle painted red goes faster because they expect it to.
Orks on military strategy: "Here's da plan: win. If we lose, it's because ya didn't follow da plan."
Orks on friendly fire: "If ya misses it, it's obviously one o' ours. If ya hits it, den it must be one o' theirs."
Orks on victory and defeat: "Orkses is never beaten in battle. If we win we win, if we die we die fightin' so it don't count as beat. If we runs for it we don't die neither, so we can always come back for anuvver go, see!"
Orks on being ambushed: "Ha! Dese gits just made da classic blunda: attackin' an Ork who 'adn't found 'em already! Now we'z can stomp dem fasta, haha!"
One Ork Warboss and his invasion fleet got sent back in time by a Warpstorm, arriving shortly before they'd left. The Warboss decided to kill his past self so he'd have two copies of his favorite gun. The resulting confusion stopped the invasion in its tracks.
/tg/ has applied Orky logic to matters of camouflage, concluding that purple is the sneakiest color. Because you've never seen a purple army, have you?
This can apply to the Players themselves. A swarm of infantry bodies in any other army would be a suicide tactic (or at least be a handicap in the case of the imperial guard). For the Orks, it's the only tactic! This actually works because the Orks roll so many dice, the sheer amount of actual hits are still enough to kill whatever they're targeting, despite the massive odds against them.
The AdeptusMechanicus is a borderline example; they've kept the maintenance and manufacturing procedures for the Imperium's technology preserved as religious ritual, but they don't understand how any of it works and activelyresist study and technological innovation because changing their perfect mechanisms would be blasphemy against the Machine God.
In Anyone Can Whistle, the patients from a local insane asylum infiltrate a line of pilgrims waiting to see a "miracle" set up by the mayoress and her cronies. To keep from being exposed, they call on the asylum's doctor, who sends his recently arrived assistant, J. Bowden Hapgood. Hapgood promises to separate the sane from the insane using "the principles of logic," and has an entire 13-minute musical sequence that is full of this kind of "logic".
Any Dane or Norwegian who didn't sleep their way through school knows this classic example from Ludvig Holberg's 18th century comedy Erasmus Montanus: Erasmus, having returned to his home village after getting an education at the Copenhagen university, demonstrates the power of logical thinking to his mother by stating that since rocks can't fly and his mother can't fly, she must be a rock. The mother is so gullible that she begins to think she is a rock, but Erasmus "saves" her by pointing out that rocks can't talk, but she can, so she's not a rock after all.
In Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew, Petruchio orders his servants not to let his wife, Kate, eat or sleep. Kate begs their servant Grumio to give her food. Grumio pretends to use this so that he can follow Petruchio's orders.
First he offers to get Kate some calf's foot. When she agrees he rescinds the offer, saying that calf's foot would make her bad tempered.
Then he offers her tripe, but takes that offer back for the same reason.
The real kicker is the beef and mustard. When he offers this to Kate, she agrees. Then he says no, because the mustard is too hot. She says she'll have the beef without the mustard, then. He says no, the beef goes with the mustard. She says she's willing to eat one or the other or both or anything else. So Grumio comes up with the perfect solution: mustard without the beef!
In Caryl Churchill's version of A Dream Play, there is a scene with a teacher in school arguing logic with a student of his. The teacher is asked what time is, to which he replies that since time flies, logically, time is something that flies while he's speaking. One of the other schoolboys starts to fly, claiming that by that logic, he is time. The teacher agrees, confirming that he is in fact time. But the first student says that that's impossible, and because logic failed in that case, we can therefore logically prove that logic is wrong.
Touchstone, in As You Like It, explains that Corin's going to Hell because he never went to court:
Why, if thou never wast at court, thou never sawest good manners; if thou never sawest good manners, then thy manners must be wicked; and wickedness is sin, and sin is damnation. Thou art in a parlous state, shepherd.
And while we're on the subject of fools in Shakespeare, Feste, the fool from Twelfth Night, is a master of this. For example, he attempts to prove that Olivia is a fool so that the people asked to "take away the fool" will remove her instead of him:
Feste: Good madonna, why mournest thou?
Olivia: Good fool, for my brother's death.
Feste: I think his soul is in Hell, madonna.
Olivia: I know his soul is in Heaven, fool.
Feste: The more fool, madonna, to mourn for your brother's soul being in heaven. Take away the fool, gentlemen.
Point: Now observe. She said "Hands off!" Whose hands? Thine. Off whom? Off her. Why? Because she is a woman. Now, had she not been a woman, thine hands had not been set upon her at all. So the reason for the laying on of hands is the reason for the taking off of hands, and herein is contradiction contradicted! It is the very marriage of pro with con; and no such lopsided union either, as times go, for pro is not more unlike con than man is unlike woman — yet men and women marry every day with none to say, "Oh, the pity of it!" but I and fools like me!
In The Mikado, Ko-Ko saves his life (plus the lives of Pooh-Bah and Pitti-Sing) when Nanki-Poo suddenly shows up, very much alive. This puts the Mikado in something of a quandry; Ko-Ko did not kill the heir apparent, but he is in dereliction of his duty. Ko-Ko solves the problem thusly:
Ko-Ko: When Your Majesty says "Let a thing be done", it’s as good as done, practically it is done, because Your Majesty’s will is law. Your Majesty says "Kill a gentleman", and the gentleman is to be killed, consequently that gentleman is as good as dead, practically he is dead, and if he is dead, why not say so?”
The Mikado: I see. Nothing could possibly be more... ha-ha-ha, satisfactory!
In Ruddigore, the entire plot is motivated by a curse that compels the current Bad Baronet of Ruddigore to commit a crime every day or die in agony. Robin (the current baronet) is about to be killed by the ghost of his ancestor, Sir Roderick, for failing to commit his daily crime, when he suggests to Roderick that failing to commit a crime is tantamount to suicide, and suicide is itself a crime. Not only does this satisfy Roderick, but causes him to come back to life (essentially making his undeath vanish in a Puff of Logic).
Angels In America has Roy Cohn explaining to his doctor at length how he is not homosexual, even though he does have sex with men, as homosexuality is really about lacking social, economical and political power.
"Roy Cohn is not a homosexual. Roy Cohn is an heterosexual man, Henry, who fucks around with guys."
Trouble with a capital 'T' and that rhymes with 'P' and that stands for 'pool'!
The Miser has The Matchmaker Frosine use it in hopes of convincing Harpagon that marrying Marianne will give him "a clear twelve thousand francs a year", by listing all the expensive things that Marianne does not indulge in and summing up their prices.
In Arsenic and Old Lace (including the film version) Mortimer Brewster pulls this when trying to get "Teddy Roosevelt" Brewster to sign the papers to admit him and his aunts to the crazy house.
Mortimer Brewster: The name Brewster is code for Roosevelt.
Teddy Brewster: Code for Roosevelt?
Mortimer Brewster: Yes. Don't you see? Take the name Brewster, take away the B, and what have you got?
Teddy Brewster: Rooster!
Mortimer Brewster: Uh-huh. And what does a rooster do?
Teddy Brewster: Crows.
Mortimer Brewster: It crows. And where do you hunt in Africa?
Teddy Brewster: On the veldt!
Mortimer Brewster: There you are: crows — veldt!
Teddy Brewster: Ingenious! My compliments to the boys in the code department.
The confused police inspector then remarks "Do that again!"
In The Crucible, a play about the Salem witch trials, an old man named George Jacobs is accused of witchcraft, AbigailWilliams claiming he entered her window at night to perform his spells. Jacobs points out that he needs canes to walk, and that climbing would be impossible with his health. The court replies that he could've sent his spirit into the window. Sadly, Jacobs can't argue against that and gets hanged. Even sadder, in the real Salem witch trials, this is pretty much exactly how the trials went.
In Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag's DLC Freedom Cry, French Governor de Fayet comments that former slave Adewale's murder of him is because the latter was from freed from slavery. This, while technically true, doesn't take into account that Adewale is trying to murder him because of all the abuses he endured as a slave. Not to mention the Governor having just murdered an entire ship full of slaves.
An indoctrinated Hanar reasons that if his race worships the Protheans and the remaining Protheans were converted into the Reapers' slaves, the Hanar must worship the Reapers. Shepard might refer to this as "insane jellyfish" logic.
The game Metal Wolf Chaos features propaganda news reports that define a True American as "anyone who supports the idea of having the families and friends of terrorist sympathizers murdered in the streets" rather than "anyone who is a citizen of America".
The Spathi from Star Control 2 use this to justify their fear of an "Ultimate Evil" that surely intends to destroy them. They have never found any evidence that such an evil exists, which means that it must be hiding just outside the range of their most powerful sensors, which is proof of its nefarious intent.
It should be noted that when they figure out how to open and close the slaver system-isolating forcefields the Spathi break their alliance and put a shield around their own planet to be safely shut off from the rest of the universe.
Early in Suikoden V there is a tournament to decide who will get to marry the Prince's sister. One group of people decide it's their patriotic duty to get a foreign competitor kicked out of the tournament. They do this by picking a fight with him so he will get disqualified when he kills them. When the Prince tries to stop them they figure that the real Prince would never try to stop such obviously patriotic people, therefore the Prince must be an impostor!
Jables: I had no idea there was a villain. Squiddy: I bet he's the one who kidnapped the princess. Jables: Let her go, King Squid! King Squid: I didn't kidnap any princess. Squiddy: Then where is she? King Squid: My plan doesn't involve the princess. Squiddy: Yet you kidnapped her anyway. Jables: That's evil. King Squid:...
In Persona 4, the true killer claims that he didn't kill the victims, he only threw them into the TV world, which then was responsible for their deaths. This despite it being pointed out that he knew what would happen to Saki Konishi after Mayumi Yamano died in the TV world. Also, noting that the world is influenced by people's thoughts, suggests that everyone outside, including the investigation team, is responsible, presumably saying this as a way of playing mind games with them.
In Final Fantasy XIII, the fal'Cie are Jerkass Gods (well not actual gods but close to it) who run on Blue and Orange Morality, but in practice their methods are this trope. Fal'cie brand humans with mystical markings, turning them into l'Cie, servants that are found to complete an objective, called a Focus. However, the Focus is usually only conveyed via vague visions and hallucinations, the fal'Cie sometimes state clearly what the Focus is but not always, leaving it to the l'Cie to guess what their Focus is. Completing the Focus comes with a time limit, fail and you turn into a zombie-like Cie'th. Succeed and your reward is immortality...as a crystal statue, until someday the fal'Cie has need of you again and revives you with a new Focus, with all the same restrictions as before. And if at any time a l'Cie is in doubt of completing their Focus or otherwise under emotional turmoil, Eidolons manifest from them as a "gift" from the fal'Cie...and promptly beat the crap out of them for not being strong enough to keep going, the logic being they have to prove their will to live to the Eidolon in order to tame it and bring it under their command.
Dragon Age II: Sarcastic Hawke's logic definitely falls under this category sometimes.
Early on in Ghost Trick, Sissel discovers that the ghost of the recently deceased dog Missile has tagged along with him into the past to prevent his death. Missile doesn't bat an eye at such a feat, reasoning that if his master can walk on two feet and he can't, he shouldn't find it weird that Sissel can walk through time and he can't. The worst part? Sissel agrees with his line of reasoning.
Baldur's Gate II has some of this logic coming from an actual insanetroll. Here's the conversation if you try to keep a dialogue going as long as possible instead of attacking him right after he says:
Troll Cook: Hello there foodthing. You are just in time. Please just jump onto the grill over there. Protagonist: Pardon me? Troll Cook: The grill. That big metal thing. Jump on. Be careful, it's hot! Protagonist: You speak well for a troll. Troll Cook: My mother tried hard togive me good learning. She sent me to live with these hobgoblins here. They smart. Trained me how to cook real good. Protagonist: Do you like these orcs? Troll Cook: They smell bad, but they're okay. They can be mean sometimes. Chief DigDag sometimes cuts my fingers off and throws them onto the grill. Says they taste like sausages. Protagonist: Doesn't that hurt? Troll Cook: Yep. But I'm a troll. Fingers cut off. Fingers grow back. Now quit talking and start broiling! Chief DigDag doesn't like me talking to the food. Protagonist: I'm not letting you cook me, you crazy troll! Troll Cook: Uncle Cajum, he was crazy. Me, I'm not crazy. I'm a cook. Now get on the grill! Protagonist: Why would I want to be on the grill? Troll Cook: Geez. It's impossible to get good help nowadays. If you're not on the grill, how am I going to cook you? Protagonist: I don't want to be cooked. Troll Cook: If you didn't want to be cooked, then why did you apply for the job? I think you'll all make a tasty snack! Boys! Get 'em!
In Disgaea 4, Fuka gives some pretty interesting arguments on why she's not actually dead:
Fuka: Even if I were dead, I'd be sent to heaven, not hell or whatever you call this place. I didn't do anything wrong to deserve this. Why would a ninth grader die anyway? If this isn't heaven, then it can't be real. If this isn't real, it must be a dream. How's that!? It's a flawless theory!
Then again, it's a Disgaea game, which tends to be full of this.
In Awful Fantasy, an infamous 2002 romhack of Final Fantasy VI by Something Awful Goons, there is the following piece of Insane Troll Logic, which makes about as much sense as the rest of the hack: "Ice cream, eyebeams — cyclops. One. One means death! AL IS GOING TO KILL EVERYONE!"
World of Warcraft has a rather jarring one. Garrosh Hellscream deliberately infests his men with the Sha in the belief that they'll somehow conquer the Sha and become stronger. When all of them succumb including his champion, he tells Anduin Wrynn (who had been trying to convince him what a bad idea it was) that he cost Garrosh a mighty warrior and almost kills him. Granted, he turns out to have some more successful attempts later, including his own right-hand man, Malkorok, and he himself ends up wielding the power of the Heart of Y'Shaarj itself.
In Dwarf Fortress, it's possible for you to convict a crime victim of the very crime committed upon them — for example, convicting the dwarf who has had his blood drained of draining his own blood. Your dwarves will actually be 'outraged at the bizarre conviction against all reason of the victim of a crime recently.'
Many puzzles in McPixel require this to succeed. To put things in perspective, the first rule of playing this game is this: If the solution you have in mind makes sense, there's a 75% chance it's wrong. The remaining 25%? It works, but not in the way you were expecting it to. Although after a couple levels it's almost second nature.
Hades: Obeying the call of nature is part of the cycle of life. Tell me, Pit, why do you hate life?
Really, this is fitting. Hades is not only certifiably insane, but also a massiveTroll, and this is just one of the many, many tricks pulled on poor Pit.
In the text into to Chapter 74 of Caribbean Hideaway Barley the pirate explained that a certain hideout was rather unimaginatively known as "The Cave" because "Places with names tend t' get found. If it ain't got a name, it ain't a place; and if it ain't a place, it ain't gonna be found, ain't it?"
Alicia's breakdown in Valkyria Chronicles is basically this trope getting out of hand in the mind of one person. She decides she is an inhuman monster, and ultimately tries to kill herself. The girl she used to be is dead, and she can never live a normal life again because her only future is one as a killing machine, exploited for her powers. None of this is even slightly true.
According to Cave Johnson, you don't need lemons from life to make lemonade.
Cave Johnson: When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take back the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! WITH THE LEMONS! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!
The Impossible Quiz has a bucketload of this. Half the questions run on insane troll logic, the other half run on no logic at all and must simply be solved through trial and error.
Phoenix Wright is fond of objecting first and thinking later and of grasping at straws and coming up with imaginative guesses, but he's usually too honest and reasonable to use actual troll logic. However, in one situation where he's desperate to keep the trial going as long as possible until the police complete the next phase of their investigation, we get this exchange:
Witness: He looked suspicious because he was walking through the hall in the hotel wearing black leather gloves. Phoenix: Footballs are made of leather! Are you saying that all footballs are suspicious just because they're made out of leather?!
Von Karma has a similar line of logic in the first game (this is the same guy who wanted to have his ATM PIN (0001) entered into evidence as "proof" that he's perfect):
Phoenix: He remembered the name of his fiance who commited suicide. That's why he named his parrot after her! Von Karma: My granddaughter has a dog she calls "Phoenix." Well, Mr. Phoenix Wright? Does this make you my granddaughter's fiancee!?
Another example from the third game involves a massive stone lantern with upside-down bloody writing on it. Gumshoe voices the results of his special Gumshoe investigation: At the time of the murder, the stone lantern was upside down.
In Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney, one of the witnesses devolves into this frequently, notably why he steals large panties (For Science!), and if you can actually keep up with his Motor MouthScrolling Text, he somehow manages to take the leap from discussing someone being shot "square in the forehead" to "krypton particles are rare" among other things.
Phoenix will often break into this trope whenever the player answers a question wrong. Take this example from the DLC case of the fifth game:
Judge: And on what grounds do you base your assertion that the singing trick was faked? Phoenix: Take That! Judge: That item proves the singing trick was faked? Phoenix: No, Your Honor. This piece of evidence will not prove that. In other words… this piece of evidence is… a fake-out! And if this evidence is a fake-out, then the singing trick was a fake-out as well! Athena: Boss, I don’t think that makes any sense... Phoenix: Momentum is key at times like these. Judge: I can hear every word you’re saying, Mr. Wright!
Edgeworth himself does this if you present wrong evidence in at a few parts in Investigations 2 [Translated from Japanese]
Edgeworth: Objection! Do you not see a problem with your statement just now?
Hakari: I'm afraid I see no such problem.
Edgeworth: Exactly. So if you fail to see the problem, then that must mean you fail to see the problem with accepting your logic! You're admitting that you can't comprehend your own logic?!
Hakari: The only thing I fail to see here, is your point.
Edgeworth: Nggh...! (Curses...! I guess I should have known that wouldn't work...)
In Umineko: When They Cry this is what Battler's strategy degenerates into when he's desperately grasping at straws, no matter how ridiculous, as a viable theory (as long as magic isn't involved of course); from "spike-launching devices" to "small bombs". Beatrice lets the more amusing ones pass, at least for the time. Dlanor uses her laws to cut them down abruptly and mercilessly.
Cloudcuckoolander Hagakure from Danganronpa delves into this from time to time. Perhaps the biggest example is when Kirigiri shows up after having believed to have been killed, and Hagakure refuses to believe that she isn't a ghost. The first part of the trial then consists of Naegi having to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Kirigiri really is alive. While the person in question is standing right in front of them.
Hagakure: Wrong! That's clearly a ghost, right!?
Asahina: She has legs, though.
Hagakura: Um...that's probably because...it's the new ghost model they've been developing recently!
Togami: I thought there were limits to being an idiot.
Monokuma is a less hilarious example. He traps the cast in a building, telling them that the only way out is to kill someone and get away with it, and then psychologically and emotionally torturing and blackmailing them to make them desperate to get out enough to kill, at one point even tampering with evidence to get a character to cross the Despair Event Horizon and try to take the entire cast down with them. Whenever anybody calls him on it, though, he claims that the students killing each other is entirely on them and it isn't his fault. But his worst use of Insane Troll Logic is unquestionably when he claims that planting a fake suicide note near a body, isn't the same thing as planting false evidence or misleading anyone trying to find the killer.
All of Red Mage's plans in 8-Bit Theater run on this very logic. When stranded on an island, Thief quite accurately states that Red Mage's plan to get off the island would likely involve blowing up the island with them on it with the justification that they're no longer on the island anymore. While Red Mage's actual plan was much less dangerous, it did involve massive amounts of Evilutionary Biology for the Chocobos and a willingness to exploit his Mime ability beyond its actual usefulness.
Just about everyone in 8-Bit Theater is either a liar, a cheat, or utterly stupid, if not all three, so conversations tend toward this. For example; In this comic, Red Mage explains how his plan to shoot down a visible sky castle, then repair it, in order to fly high enough to find the invisible sky castle "makes too little sense to fail."
Black Mage: Okay Red Mage, enlighten us. How can a plan that makes no sense work? Red Mage: One simple reason: It makes too little sense to fail. BM:What. RM: Most plans are critically flawed by their own logic. A failure at any step will ruin everything after it. That's just basic cause and effect. It's easy for a good plan to fall apart. Therefore, a plan that has no attachment to logic cannot be stopped. The success or failure of any step will have no effect on the macro level. BM: That's so stupid I can't even see straight anymore. RM: Now imagine what'll happen when physics tries to figure it out!
The Empress of Blood knows that dragons get more powerful as they get bigger. However, she decided to make herself bigger by overeating. All this does is make her morbidly obese, but she still thinks it's working
Elan learned that Armor counts against Hide checks. This led him to the conclusion that going naked would make him invisible. Hilarity Ensued.
This is also his reaction when Haley reverses the definitions of adventure and adventurer to make him feel better. Even Miko is weirded out by his brand of Insane Troll Logic.
Featured in "troll physics," a form of 4chan's /v/ board's MS Paint comics.
For example, bread always lands butter-side down. Cats always land on their feet. Therefore, attaching a piece of buttered bread to a cat's back will result in Anti-gravity.
The reasoning behind Nathan's actions in Ménage à 3 as explained by himself:
His explanation about how he's not gay or bisexual, despite starting each day out by having anal sex with one of his male subordinates.
His excuse for cheating on both Dillon and Amber Amber and his wife all at the same time.
Utilized in this and many other Ctrl+Alt+Del comics, typically involving Ethan or (on a far weirder scale) Chef Brian ("I are pant").
In El Goonish Shive, most of the characters seem to think that Tedd's explanation of the reason he maintains long hair is Insane Troll Logic. Oddly, it actually makes perfect sense. You see, Tedd looks very androgynous and would quite like to look more manly. But he keeps long hair anyway. If he cut his hair, he would look very slightly more manly but it would be obvious that the thing that makes him look so feminine is his actual face itself. If he keeps his hair in a really girly long hairstyle, then everyone at school with him assumes that he would look manly if not for his hair.
In Tales Of Zenith, Tam O'Shanter says that it's JFK's fault the Oklahoma City Courthouse was bombed. "JFK appointed his brother Attorney General. This got Congress so mad they passed a law that the president can't appoint any relatives to a cabinet position. This meant that Bill Clinton couldn't appoint his wife Attorney General, so when Waco happened, instead of Hillary talking it out with David Koresh, Janet Reno allowed the FBI to use tanks and tear gas, and people couldn't get out and died. As a result, Timothy Mc Veigh saw what happened and decided to blow up the Oklahoma City Courthouse. That's why it's JFK's fault, if he hadn't appointed his brother Attorney General, Hillary would have been able to be appointed, and she's too politically savvy to have made the mistake Janet Reno did."
Real Life Comics depicts an instance that actually happened to creator Greg Dean in real life: He tried to order a Pepsi in a Dave and Buster's, but was refused because he wasn't of age to drink alcohol yet (despite his repeated protestations that Pepsi isn't alcoholic). This gets a Call Back when Greg finally does hit the legal drinking age — the first thing he does is go back to D&B's and say "I want a freaking Pepsi."
While the Trolls in Homestuck tend to have a fair level of logic, it's twisted and corrupted by a combination of TWO multiverses gone mad from the alchemy system (capatchalouge and fetch modii, build grist and alchemizers, strife specibus and absconding, does the incomprehensibility of these words paint a good picture?), and the resulting culture that resembles a civilization of mini-cthulhus. It's implied that one of the Troll-Dominant universes was utterly sane, but when the trolls there failed to achieve their purpose, they intentionally "scratched" the fabric of the universe in order to succeed the next iteration, which backfired courtesy of a backstabbing Doctor Cue.
In one of the later chapters, Terezi attempts her hand at insane troll logic when she finds the corpses of her recently murdered friends. According to Terezi, there is no way that it could be anyone but Vriska. To rule out any discrepancies in her logic, she fabricates her own story in which Vriska murdered several trolls, then developed a taste for troll blood (which would explain the vampiric markings on the side of Feferi's neck). She gives up on trying to explain it, acknowledging that her explanation is stupid and unlikely. However, this doesn't change her mind at all about the culprit, logic be damned.
Played for laughs by LoadingReadyRun with Detective Riley, a recurring character who takes one look at a crime scene and uses free-associational logic to determine the culprit. Even though he's always right — the police have already reached the same conclusion through completely rational means.
Detective Riley: What have we here?
Officer Rodriguez: A drug deal gone bad. Real bad.
Riley: Well, the way I see it is this: the last ship that came into port here was the "Queen of Seville." Saint Isidore of Seville, patron saint of the Internet, born in 560 AD — the same year Ethelbert succeeded his father Iormic as King of Kent. Clark Kent, mild mannered reporter, patrols Metropolis as Superman, also known by his Kryptonian name Kal-el. The L Word, popular TV show about lesbians, and who doesn't like lesbians? I'll tell you who — your murderer, Jeff Greenwood, known to the police as Jeffy G.
Rodriguez: That was fascinating, but... we kinda already knew that. Jeffy G admitted the whole thing on his YouTube channel this morning.
"Deceptive Deceptions". The fictional narrator "uncovers" an Ancient Conspiracy by tying together about two-and-a-half dozen people, companies, and organizations by truly nonsensical connections and flimsy associations. Case in point: John Candy.
An "Extreme Anti-Smoking Ad" which basically says that smoking will eventually turn you into a Terminator.
""asdf" converted into Morse code is .- ... -.. ..-. If you take the .'s and convert them to 0's and take the -'s and convert them to 1's, you get the binary number of 010001000010, which is 1090 in decimal. The year 1090 just happens to be 2 years after Christodoulos of Patmos, supported by Emperor Alexius I Komnenos, founded the monastery of Saint John the Theologian on Patmos. Only * 4* years after the year 1090 AD... The First Crusade (1095-99) captured Jerusalem; and the Latin Kingdom of Jerusalem begins. Now because the Crusade on Jerusalem happened only a short time after the crucial year 1090, we can convert the letters ASDF into the ancient Hebrew alphabet, and we get Aleph Vov Daled Samech (because of the differences in alphabets, these might not be accurate translations). We take the letters, and convert them into one word. Alephvovdaledsamech — which converted phonetically sounds like "A lef volv da leads a mech". We can then read these sounds into words, and we get "A left Volvo does leads a mech." Going further, we get "A left Volvo does lead the mechanics", or "A left Volvo does lead the mechanical industry". We can then read into it, that a "left Volvo", obviously a car made in a country where you drive on the left side of the road, will one day lead the mechanical, or automobile industry. Ford Motors Inc. must have found out about this information before I could disclose it to you — for they just bought Volvo. Ford is obviously trying to change this age-old Hebrew prophecy, and claim the automobile industry for themselves! You must rally the people! To the top of Mount Sinai! We shall stop them yet! ARMAGEDDON HAS BEGUN!!!!!
From a truly epic post on one of GameFAQs's social boards, apparently talking about the origins of Winnie the Pooh:
Pooh backwards is Hoop. Like hula hoops, right?... Hula was invented in Hawaii. Hawaii was once part of an Asian country. Japan is in Asia... Japan was nuked… Microwaves also nuke… Microwave... Micro! Micro means very small, like the chances I have of getting a date. Date... A calendar often tells dates. Calendars also often have pictures. Mostly pictures of puppies. Puppies grow up to be dogs. Like hot dogs! The best hot dogs are found in New York. New York has the Yankees. The Yankees fought the Confederates.The Dukes of Hazzard had a Confederate flag on their car. Hazard... the word has a Z. Z's normally signify sleeping. Sleeping leads to dreams. In some dreams you're flying... flying like a plane. The Wright Brothers flew the first plane. And they were brothers. Like the show Band of Brothers. That series was about a war. And about WWII! WWII had Nazis. And Hitler. Hitler spelled backwards is Reltih, which makes no sense. Sense, like SPIDER SENSE. Spider-Man used spider sense to fight the Green Goblin. Green, green was the color used by Sailor Jupiter in that one cartoon. Jupiter... Jupiter has moons! Like Callisto. Callisto was also a gun in the game Perfect Dark. Dark... Moon... Jupiter? Winnie the Pooh is from the dark side of Jupiter's moon, Callisto!
The best part may be how he gets this close to making a reasoning using World War II, evades it to go on a different tangent, and then goes back to WWII later on.
Grif:[after what appears to have been a completely ordinary radio conversation] Simmons sounded good. I guess he's got everything under control. Sarge: Donut and Lopez are dead and Agent Washington has taken Simmons prisoner. Grif: What?! Everything sounded fine to me! Sarge: Think about it! How do you answer the radio at our base? Grif: Thank you for calling Red Base, this is Private Grif, how may I assist you today. Sarge: And we've drilled that since day one! Simmons answered "Hi." That was my first clue. Grif: So maybe he's just ups— Sarge: He also said that the radio was in disrepair. When does Lopez ever let something go without the proper maintenance? Grif: Never! Sarge: And look at the time. Grif: Can't, clock's broken. Sarge: It's 17:30! And everybody knows that 17:30 is... Grif: Donut's daily wine and cheese hour! Sarge: I didn't hear any tinkling glasses, did you? Grif: You're right! Sarge: He also mentioned that the weather was "rainier", and as we all know, Mt. Rainier is the biggest land mass in the state of... Washington! Grif: We do? Uh, I mean, we do! Sarge: How many Washingtons do we know? Grif: Did he mean Agent Washington? Sarge: And who's the biggest mess we know associated with Washington? Grif: The Meta! Sarge: So the Meta and Washington have teamed up to kill Donut and Lopez and now they're holding Simmons and Doc prisoner. Grif: We have to help them! Wait, Doc? How do you know he's there? Sarge: Please, Grif, it's so obvious! I don't want to insult your intelligence by explaining every little detail.
Most humorously of all, Simmons was not actually trying to send a coded message, yet Sarge was completely correct!
Most of that conversation is superfluous context. The Insane Troll Logic is the part where Sarge told Grif he didn't want to insult his intelligence.
Wash gets a moment of his own in episode 5 of season 10 when he and York first meet North's AI, Theta, and concludes that it's weird for Theta to be small, yet somehow it's perfectly normal for York's AI Delta to be small... because Delta is green. In the words of York:
York: How does that even make sense?
None Piece: Zoro in Episode 4 while ranting with Buggy DEFINITELY counts.
*After Buggy has stabbed Zoro in the back* Zoro: "DAMMIT! YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!" Buggy: "..." Zoro: "FUCK! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU! GOD!" Buggy: "...You cut me into pieces." Zoro: "I WAS FUCKING KIDDING! ...FUCK YOU! YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!"
The Nostalgia Critic uses this when he gets a friendly message from The Angry Video Game Nerd to find a hidden code. After ridiculous leaps of logic and cryptography that would make a Dan Brown protagonist proud, he concludes that it's absolutely nothing. Until viewed in a mirror, that is...
Done to hilarious effect in Kickassia when the Nostalgia Critic is rallying the others to invade Molassia. He convinces his friends that they want to be like the Nazis right after condemning them for being like the Nazis.
Later, Sage uses another variant of this when he comes to the conclusion that holding an Uzi makes you immortal, the reasoning being he's holding one right now and he's still alive. He also claimed smoking was not only healthy for you, but was highly recommended for pregnant women. Though that time he was just holding the chart upside down.
1. van Gogh, as we discover in 'Vincent and the Doctor', is mad. The Master is also mad. 2. van Gogh was deeply unpopular with the local rubes. The Master was terribly charismatic and brilliant at manipulating local rubes to his advantage (cf. 'The Daemons'). If the Master were trying to hide his true nature, what better way than to appear deeply unpopular with the locals? 3. van Gogh could see the Krafayis when nobody else could see it. This is probably a Time Lord ability to see things nobody else can see. 4. Alternatively, a bio-upgrade of some sort given to him offscreen during 'The Mark of the Rani'. 5. No one can agree on the correct pronunciation of 'van Gogh'. Got to be an allusion to the many different names the Master has used throughout his career. 6. I seem to recall in one serial during the seventies the Master expressed an interest in painting. 7. The name 'Vincent van Gogh' is an anagram of 'Vincent van Gogh', the alias used by the Master in this story. 8. Tony Curran. Anthony Tony Ainley. Do I have to spell this out, people? 9. Being a man, he's definitely not Susan, Romana, the Rani or Rose, the only other possible candidates for a character in a Doctor Who story. Although there is a slim chance he is secretly the eighth Doctor, played by Paul McGann. 10. In one of the deleted scenes for this episode, van Gogh laughs maniacally and screams, 'I am the Master', before turning into the Master. I believe the evidence is clear.
Gaming news site Rock Paper Shotgun presents the facts about harmful gaming.
Nearly twice as many Americans own gun-displaying consoles than those who own the types of guns that require a license and paperwork to purchase. No such paperwork is necessary when buying an Xbox, and yet still teenagers will kill each other in the streets.
TOM HANKS looks up ILLUMINATI in the encyclopedia in the VATICAN'S SUPER SECRET LIBRARY. TOM HANKS: Hmm, the word Illuminati first appears on page three of this book. Three… the third ninja turtle mentioned in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song is Raphael… the first cardinal must be in Raphael's tomb! TOM HANKS: Let’s see here… we’re in a tomb. Tomb… like Tombstone pizza, which is circular. Circular is the opposite of square.. of course! To Saint Peter’s Square! TOM HANKS: Condoms… condoms are sometimes called johnnies… John James was the architect that rebuilt St. Mary’s Church… of course, the third cardinal is in a church! AYELET ZURER: WHY THE HELL IS THIS WORKING!? AYELET ZURER: Wait let me try one. Okay, so this guy was chained up… chains are often used for construction work… the fourth cardinal is at a construction site! TOM HANKS: What? Don’t be stupid. The fourth element is water, so he’s in a fountain.
Coming up with utterly insane analyses of old video games is a recurringthemeon thesite (though some of them are more believable than others.)
An intentional invocation of this is a new meme out there: Troll Physics/Troll Science. This consists of utilizing Insane Troll Logic for hilarious effects with science. The page there shows a lot of examples regarding Troll Science.
A poster on Yahoo! Answers' infamous Religion & Spirituality forum once used the following argument to "prove" said forum was Satan
"Devil" spelled backwards is "lived". Does this mean Satan is now dead?
Also, "devil" pronounced backwards is "livid". He must be pissed about being dead.
And if you take "livid", drop the first and last letters, and convert what remains into a single symbol, you get M, who is James Bond's boss. As we know, the James Bond series was written by Ian Fleming, who is not to be confused with fellow writer Anne Fleming, who comes from Canada, which is also the name of an indie-folk-rock band, "band" being a word meaning "a belt, strap, or ring". And if you've won a belt in the ring, you're probably a wrestler, which is derived from a much more real sport that was very popular in ancient Greece, which sounds like "grease" which is a substance found in many fatty foods including chips, which are a key component in the manufacture of computers, the invention of which is attributed to Alan Turing (1912-1954). 1954 is when the first nuclear powered submarine was launched. It was called the Nautilus, named after the submarine driven my Captain Nemo, who was once played by James Mason. "Mason" is used as shorthand for "Freemason", which uses a draftsman's compass in their logo. Compass also refers to a navigational instrument which uses the earth's magnetic fields to point North, which is the opposite of South, which is where fried chicken comes from, "chicken" being slang for a kilogram of cocaine, which used to be used in the manufacture of Coca-Cola, makers of Sprite, a type of mythical water spirit, "spirit" being the root of the word "spirituality" as in "Religion & Spirituality", therefore R&S is Satan!
Because they have eight wheels and four people in them, and eight plus four make twelve, and there are twelve inches in a foot, and one foot is a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was also a ship, and ships sail seas, and in the seas are fish, and fish have fins, and Finns fought the Russians, and the Russians are red. That is why the fire engines are red.
Code MENT, like most Abridged Series, lives on this.
C.C.: You're a whole new level of stupid.
Lelouch: Ah, but who is more stupid? A person trying to kill themselves, or a person trying to kill a person trying to kill themselves?!
Rarity is making dresses for her friends, and asks Rainbow Dash what she wants her dress to look like:
Rainbow: I wanna look like my parents. Rarity: Well, what do they look like? Rainbow: I dunno? I was dead before they were born. Rarity: Wait. You were dead before they were born? Rainbow: Obviously, if they haven't been born yet, then I must still be dead? Duh. Rarity: That's a... interesting ideology. Rainbow: Ideology? I'm not Buddhist.
As Fluttershy is modeling one of Rarity's dresses:
Rarity: I own those clothes. You are wearing my clothes. According to proper logic, I own you, so no running away or anything.
Time Cube. It barely needs explanation — because, well it doesn't have any. It has to be the most brain-meltingly insane form of this trope in the history of existence.
Used in Ducktalez 6 to figure out Quackerjack's plan, as a reference to the 60's Batman series.
The Rap Critic calls this out in one of his "Worst Lyrics I've Ever Heard" videos.
Ace Hood: You fall in love with all these bitches that's a no-no! You pillow talking with these hoes, you's a homo!
Rap Critic: Really now? So talking to a woman is what qualifies you as gay.
Cue a skit illustrating the ridiculousness of this.
Rap Critic: (in bed) Oh my god, baby, I have to tell you, that was some of the best-
RC (as a woman) Oh my god, my boyfriend's gay!
RC: (as Ace Hood) HOMO!!! The only three words you should say to a woman in bed after sex are "where's", "my", and "sandwich"!
I can pick up a mole (animal) and throw it. Anything I can throw weighs one pound. One pound is one kilogram. The number 602,214,129,000,000,000,000,000 looks about twice as long as a trillion, which means it’s about a trillion trillion. I happen to remember that a trillion trillion kilograms is how much a planet weighs.
Beavis and Butt-Head are frequently prone to this. Given their complete idiocy though, it's practically a given.
One hilarious example is in "Sexual Harassment" where they sue a girl for sexual harassment. They think she is harassing them because she gave them erections for being so hot.
Duke: Why the hell do you have to be so critical? Jay: I'm a critic. Duke: No, your job is to rate movies on a scale from good to excellent. Jay: What if I don't like them? Duke: That's what "good" is for.
In the episode "The Monkey Suit", creationists seeking to ban the teaching of evolution succeed by getting a scientist to testify in court that evolution is a myth — a scientist with a degree in "Truthology" from "Christian Tech". It's a shot at "doctors" like Kent Hovind and Carl Baugh. Both of which got their doctorate degrees the old fashioned way, by buying them.
In an earlier episode, "Much Apu About Nothing", an isolated incident involving a bear wandering into Springfield is responded to by the creation of a multi-million dollar "Bear Patrol". When Homer states that the organization is stopping bears from coming into town, Lisa compares his logic to claiming that the ordinary rock she's holding is a potent tiger repellent, since there aren't any tigers around. Homer, naturally, offers to buy the rock.
Another funny example is in "Bart The Murderer", where Fat Tony "explains" to Bart how hijacking a truckload of cigarettes isn't wrong.
Bart: Uh, say, are you guys crooks? Fat Tony: Bart, is it wrong to steal a loaf of bread to feed your starving family? Bart: No. Fat Tony: Well, suppose you got a large starving family. Is it wrong to steal a truckload of bread to feed them? Bart: Uh uh. Fat Tony: And, what if your family don't like bread? They like... cigarettes? Bart: I guess that's okay. Fat Tony: Now, what if instead of giving them away, you sold them at a price that was practically giving them away. Would that be a crime, Bart? Bart: Hell, no.
"If God wanted us to be vegetarians, He wouldn't have made animals out of meat!"
In "And Maggie Makes Three" when Bart and Lisa are talking about what gender the new baby (Maggie) will turn out to be:
Lisa: I hope it's a girl. Bart: You know nothing about genetics, Lis: it goes boy note Bart Simpson, girl note Lisa Simpson, boy note new baby, girl.
Mrs. B.: This year's topic is `Resolved: The national speed limit should be lowered to 55 miles per hour.'! Homer: 55? That's ridiculous! Sure, it'll save a few lives, but millions will be late!
Earlier in the same episode:
Barney: Hey, Homer, you're late for English! Homer: Pffft, English. Who needs that. I'm never going to England.
Yet another example comes from "The Great Money Caper". When Homer abandons Bart at the marina after an unfruitful attempt at street magic performance, passersby take pity on him and fill his magic hat with cash. Bart arrives back home later to an amazed Homer, who wonders if Bart could try it again:
Homer: We could make a fortune! Bart: But wouldn't that make us con artists? Homer: Well, yeah, but... God conned me out of sixty-five hundred bucks in car repairs. Bart: So, in a way, we'd just be balancing out the universe. Homer: There you go! We'd be stealing from people we know! It's just like the seasons!
"But, Lisa, if we start conserving, the environmentalists win!"
During a snowstorm, Homer mocks Lisa's belief in global warming, and she says global warming can have this result. Whether you agree or not, Homer invokes the trope in response.
In "Mystery of the Urinal Deuce" Cartman uses this to blame Kyle for 9/11: 11 has two 1's, 1 + 1 = 2, if you add 9 and 2, you get 92 which is how much Kyle got on a spelling test shortly after 9/11. Therefore, Kyle planned 9/11.note It's even more hilarious when you consider that Kyle would have been 4 years old when it happened. Most likely intended to parody The Number 23. The entire movie is composed of such calculations.
In "Dances With Smurfs" Cartman uses Glenn Beck's method of choosing a bunch of keywords, taking the first letter of each and using them to spell something out. Keywords he associates with Wendy are Integrated, Leftist, Liberal, Socialist, Modern, Utopian, Reformed, Farce and School. Therefore, Wendy Testaburger wants to KILL SMURFS. Which is extremely ironic once you remember that "SMURF" itself has been proposed to be an acronym for Soviet Men Under Red Father. So, in short, Wendy's a leftist for wanting to kill Communists!
In the episode "Cancelled", there is a scientist who correctly determines what he should do in a given situation using association gone so far it delves straight into Insane Troll Logic. This is presumably inspired by heavily exaggerating the Eureka MomentJeff Goldblum's character has in Independence Day and running with it.
In order to convince Butters to run away to Somalia with him to become pirates Cartman reminded him how horrible his life in South Park was, namely how he was harassed and ridiculed in school daily...mostly by Cartman.
The episode "A History Channel Thanksgiving" parodies the IST of the aforementioned Ancient Aliens.
Cartman relies on drinking Mountain Dew in order to stay awake and not die of boredom during the Season 16 episode "I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining". This combined with his usual diet causes all kinds of bowel mishaps. When he resorts to drinking "Double Dew", a drink with twice the caffeine and sugar as regular Mountain Dew, Kyle points out the aforementioned harmful effects. Cartman points out that what he's drinking is actually Diet Double Dew, with only half the caffeine and sugar as regular Double Dew. Which, if you "dew the math", means he's drinking regular Mountain Dew.
People from a Bad Future replacing everyone at their jobs because they work for pretty much no pay? Obviously, the logical choice of action is to start a protest wherein men publicly jump on a huge pile of testosterone and attempt to convince as many men as possible to become homosexual so as to destroy humanity's future and prevent the future immigrants from existing in the first place.
Scrooge: Well, you realize if you give money to the poor, they won't be poor anymore, will they? First Collector: Well, I— Scrooge: And if they're not poor anymore, then you won't have to raise money for them anymore. Second Collector: Well, I suppose— Scrooge: And if you don't have to raise money for them anymore, then you'd be out of a job. Oh please, gentlemen, don't ask me to put you out of a job. Not on Christmas Eve.
Master Shake uses this quite often on Aqua Teen Hunger Force. One notable example is when he decided that the bus outside of the Aqua Teens' house was possessed by the ghost of Dracula. When Frylock disputes this by pointing out that it's 2:00 in the afternoon, Shake then claims that the bus is a "reverse vampire."
Frylock (using his scanning device): The call is coming from inside that school bus! Shake: Inside the bus? It is the bus! The bus of the undead! Vampires! Frylock: I'm not detecting any vampiritic activity. Besides, it's 2 o' clock in the afternoon. Shake: It's... it's a reverse vampire! They crave the sun! Love it. They love to get tans. Frylock: Really? And where do they come from? Shake: Uh... Tansylvania? Frylock: Oh, no. No, no, no way in the world! Shake: See the wheels? Those are the markings. Frylock: Where do you get this stuff?
MC Pee Pants also deserves a special mention. In his first appearance as a giant spider wearing a diaper, he creates a rap CD that induces an intense desire in the listener to eat candy. After giving the listeners directions in the rap to an abandoned warehouse where they can supposedly get said candy, he lies in wait and then straps them into chairs in order to use their brain energy to power a giant drill. This is so that he can drill down into Hell and release demons to start a pyramid scheme involving diet pills. His subsequent plans in later episodes are just as insane...
His scheme to make a rap CD and then release it exclusively in Transylvania (Meatwad had to import a copy) so that a vampire fan would come to bite him and make him a vampire actually worked.But then he stepped out in the sunlight.
Nathan: Bleach is mostly water. We're mostly water. Therefore, we are bleach.
Avatar: The Last Airbender : The villagers who tried Aang for his past life Kyoshi's involvement in the death of their great leadernote who it was revealed was a bullying warlord who tried to push Avatar Kyoshi around and died because he was too stupid to back down. used logic that failed so badly and was basically just, "We feel this way, so there." that the only way the episode could end was by them just getting over it (of course she actually was guilty, but that's neither here nor there).
Notably the entire justice system of the town is tailored to fit Insane Troll Logic, with the biggest issue for the Gaang being that the defendant may not submit evidence to prove their innocence, reducing the whole trial to they-say-I-say against a jury made entirely of people raised in the town that believe in the defendant's guilt. Notably when Aang is in jail, everyone in there is a perfectly reasonable person, suggesting the system really is just that messed up.
Sentencing was the job of a game of "Wheel of Fortune". At the end of the episode, there's a new festival, where they eat little Aangs made of raw dough to symbolize how they commuted sentencing (boiled in hot oil, in this case) in favor of convincing the Avatar to save their sorry skins.
Peter proves that (in his words) "cripples aren't cool". His favorite actor, Mark Harmon, doesn't need a wheelchair. Mark Harmon is cool. Therefore people who need wheelchairs aren't cool and shouldn't be allowed in his restaurant.
Peter tries making his own Red Bull, and uses mostly kerosene, reasoning that Red Bull and kerosene are both fuel, so kerosene equals Red Bull. When Brian points out the sheer insanity of this and the fact that the drink will probably kill Peter, Peter responds with "Brian, whatever kills me makes me stronger".
Speaking of fuel, Peter came to the conclusion that putting jet fuel in his pickup truck would make it fly.
Lois, in a fit of rage, exclaims, "Sometimes I feel like I'm married to a child!". Peter replies that if she's married to a child, then she's a pedophile, and that he'll be damned if he'll stand there and be lectured by a pervert.
When Brian is fighting for custody of (what he thinks are) his puppies:
Lawyer: Mr. Griffin, which of the following two phrases best describes Brian Griffin: Problem Drinker or African-American Haberdasher? Peter: Uh, do I-I guess problem drinker, but that's uh- Lawyer: Thank you. Now: Sexual deviant or magic picture that if you stare at it long enough, you see something? Peter: Well, sexual deviant, but that other one's not even, eh- Lawyer: Thank you.
"Who cares what you think, you're a dog. You can't see colors, which means you can't see the colors of the American flag. Commie."
A Running Gag in the series combines this with Paper-Thin Disguise in that a character (Peter and Mort) pretends to be something they're not (Peter pretending to be a cowboy astronaut to impress his high school classmates at a reunion, and Mort disguising himself as a Catholic Priest to get through Nazi Germany unhindered), and the disguise is blown all because some normally easily-removed article of clothing is...well, easily removed. (Peter's cowboy hat, and Mort's priest collar)
In the aforementioned 'Road' Time Travel episode, Mort is exposed when a real priest walks up, and the Gestapo officer looks confused and says "What? TWO Priests?!" — as if there can't possibly be more than one priest in any one spot.
In "PTV", the FCC has a meeting over an incident where someone's genitals were exposed on live TV. One of the men in the meeting says they received twenty calls complaining about the event and goes on to say that one person equals a billion people. Therefore, twenty callers equals twenty billion people.
As with the Batman examples above, the Super Friends' dealings with the Riddler when he joined the Legion of Doom involved this trope. In any of these situations, it's difficult to be sure which is worse: that the Riddler could come up with this nonsense or that the heroes could figure it out?
In another example, two of the Super Friends go back in time and get stuck there with no way to return. Aquaman, the genius that he is, walks to the exact location of where the Hall of Justice will be tens of thousands of years in the future. When he gets there, he takes out his communicator and turns on the homing beacon, then buries the communicator. Why? The communicator will appear in the future. Superman will be able to hear it and will know what it means, then go back in time to rescue them. Which would work if carbon dating had been invented and if the communicator (already shown to be nigh indestructible) had enough carbon to be dated successfully and enough battery to last all that time. When digging the foundation for the Hall of Justice, it would be found. A few time-hops (a few dozen probably to get the date right), and then young Supes would come up, ask when in time they wanted to go, and voila. It's bad when you can make these things work easily.
In an episode of The Fairly OddParents, Crocker thinks that Timmy loaned his fairy godparents to Tootie. He's right, but he's suspicious not because the entire town of Dimmsdale is celebrating her birthday, but because her cake has real buttercream icing. Come to think of it, the same could be said for a lot of situations that make Crocker think Timmy has fairies. Crocker once had an argument with Steven Hawking about basic addition, which ended up with Hawking proving that 2+2=5. From the end of the episode: "Hawking! I've done the math! Two plus two isn't five! It's SIX!!! SIIIIIX!!!"
In Roughly Squeaking, mice Hubie and Bertie convince Claude the cat that he's actually a lion (and that the bulldog outside is a pelican). Hubie's logic; "A lion is a member of the cat family, so that means that a cat is a member of the lion family!"
After being pelted by a snowball, the Villain of the Week ask Bugs Bunny how he can make snowballs in the summer, Bugs responds with, "It's too cold to make them in the winter".
Malory from Archer degenerates into this sometimes. For example:
Archer: That wasn't her fault! Who puts Oxycontin in a Xanax bottle? Malory: People with servants! Idiot. Archer: But if they're stealing pills, how does it help to switch the labels? Malory: Because they can't read English! Archer: (laughing)Okay... I'm gonna go, and leave you to rethink that whole train of reasoning.
Or this gem in "Diversity Hire:"
Malory: Lana Kane, just because you're not the only black field agent... Lana: Hey! That's not... Malory: "Urban," whatever. You come in here and accuse Conway of...what, exactly? Lana: OK, I can't prove anything right now, but that's Malory: ...but that didn't stop J. Edna Hoover from prosecuting Martin Luther King, now did it? Lana: What does that have to do with...wait, "J. Edna?" Malory: You never heard? That J. Edgar Hoover was this huge crossdressing chicken-hawk? Lana: I had not. Malory: Well, that's exactly the kind of slanderous and unsubstantiated rumor that I will not tolerate at ISIS. Think about THAT while you're on suspension! Lana: While I'm on what? Malory: What, are you deaf and racist? Lana: I'm black! Malory: Oh, put it back in the deck.
Morgan Proctor: Why isn't this jacket in alphabetical order? Leela: What?! Morgan: The zipper. It should be at the bottom.
And then there's this little saying:
Fry: Thanks to denial, I’m immortal.
Farnsworth has a nefarious habit of this as well. Given that he's Fry's descended nephew, it makes sense. To him, having his crew being sent on tedious and life-threatening suicide missions is "good news (everyone!)". When they are finally given a break at the beginning of "The Sting" by not having to go on the very mission that killed the previous Planet Express crew, Farnsworth tells them "Bad news, everyone! You're not good enough to go on our next mission!"
Waterfalls Sr.: Now, now, no applause. Every time you clap your hands, you kill thousands of spores, which will someday form into nutritious fungus. Just show your appreciation with a mild, friendly thumbs-up.
(Members of Penguins, Unlimited do so with awkward grins)
Waterfalls, Sr.: Please hold your thumbs to the end.
This happens in the episode "Go Fish" from The Penguins of Madagascar. It all starts out fairly normally (considering the source) with King Julien and Skipper claiming that they somehow managed to out-think the other, when Skipper has this gem: "But what you forgot to take into account is that I am actually you!" and he pulls off a penguin costume to reveal that he is a lemur. Julien counters with "In that case, by process of elimination, I must be you!" and pulls off a costume to reveal that he's a penguin. The other characters are appropriately baffled by the exchange.
In Beast Machines, this is the basis of Obsidian and Strika's My Master / Country Right Or Wrong attitude. Their loyalty is to Cybertron first and foremost, and according to them, whoever is ruling Cybertron is Cybertron, so they'll follow that person without question. Their fellow Vehicon Thrust eventually calls them on this (paraphrased):
"If you're loyal to anyone, doesn't that mean you're loyal to no one?"
In "MMMystery on the Friendship Express", Pinkie Pie makes wild assumptions that the other three bakers were responsible for eating her cake, skipping the part where you give reasons to your conclusions entirely. Twilight quickly points out that each of her claims were ridiculous.
In "Applebuck Season", a sleep-deprived Applejack uses this to justify all the ways she mishears Pinkie Pie's list of ingredients for the muffins they're making.
Pinkie Pie: A cup of flour... Applejack: "A cup o' sour?" Well, lemons are sure sour...
Rainbow Dash has had this on occasions. First when Rarity asked her how to make a dress, she wanted her to make it twenty percent cooler. Another instance we have her wanting to choose a pet, and she lists "coolness, awesomeness, and radicalness" as three different categories, and of course she never explains the difference.
Twilight Sparkle, while normally logical and calculating, has fallen to this a few times, most notably when she's trying to impress Princess Celestia. In "Lesson Zero," Twilight is about to miss sending the princess her weekly letter. Twilight responds that if she misses one assignment, the princess will think Twilight is not taking her studies seriously, and give her a test. If Twilight fails the test, she'll be sent back a grade. But because of how much she failed, she'll be sent to magic kindergarten. Therefore, missing any assignment will cause Twilight to go back to kindergarten.
Stroker and Hoop played with this a lot, but most memorably with a cult of cannibals who's philosophy is "You are what you eat".
Cultists: Eat a person, be a person... Stroker: So wait, your philosophy is you are what you eat, right? Cult Leader: Yes. Stroker: So, if I eat a hamburger, then I'm a hamburger, right? Cult Leader: Yes. Stroker: And then...if you eat me, you're hamburgers too, right? Cult Leader: ...
In "The Picnic" Gumball reasons that, because everything (including food) is made up "circles with circles around them" (atoms), a rock is the same as a chicken nugget.
In "The Meddler" Gumball reasons that by joining the cheerleading squad, he'll impress Penny with his masculinity and outperform her in the competition to make her love him.
The donut officer looks at something disturbing or a suspected crime scene, then at something else that looks dangerous, then at the only person conscious and treats them with unreasonable hostility. Despite having no knowledge of anything or no evidence.
In "The Spoon" he looks at a knocked out Darwin and Gumball, then Nicole, then a sausage and assumes she hurt them.
In "The Sock" he looks at Gumball and Darwin, then the filing cabinet, then a phone, and assumes they're responsible.
In "The Spoon", Richard has to get a gift for Nicole's birthday, but can't because he has to watch the kids. So he decides to send his two sons Gumball and Darwin to get it since, as kids, they don't have to watch the kids. Anais responds by facepalming.
In "The Bet" when Principal Brown takes Gumball and Darwin to his office for using Bobert to mess with the school nurse, Gumball argues that what Principal Brown is doing is a violation of the First Amendment, to which he lets Gumball know that he's completely wrong.
In "Camp Keep A Good Mac Down" (where Bloo, Mac, Coco, Eduardo, Wilt, Mr. Herriman, and Madame Foster go camping):
Mac: I need a break. Where's the trail mix? Bloo: I ate it. Mac: What!? Why? Bloo: Because we were walking on the trail. Where's the campsite mix?
In the American Dad!James Bond spoof "For Black Eyes Only", when Stan is told that Roger's character Tearjerker survived his fall into a volcano in the previous Bond episode, Bullock states that a volcano won't hurt you if you fall in "the right way".
In The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack, Cap'n K'nuckles seems to function on a mixture of this and Know-Nothing Know-It-All. When Flapjack says "This candy tastes like horse poop, Cap'n!" (Flapjack is actually trying to eat a flower at the time), K'nuckles' immediate response is "Then horse poop must taste like candy!", and he starts looking for a big pile of it.
In The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius episode "Maternotron Knows Best", the titular robot reasons that the outside world is dangerous and Jimmy and Hugh are safer indoors because the Civil War was held outside.
In Scooby-Doo! Stage Fright, when Daphne asks Fred why there are monsters wherever they go, Fred reasons that it would be too much of a coincidence if it was only them, so therefore it happens to people all the time.
Roughly 90% of all insane troll logic can probably be contributed to Patrick Star, the all around village idiot. Spongebob occasionally falls into it as well, and while he is literally the only sane man in the show, Squidward will come up with some ITL just to counter Spongebob and Patrick's.
Case in point, Patrick manages to come up with an entire study of life based on one extremely incorrect observation. It is known as Wumbology.
Patrick: I see what the problem is. You have it set to "M" for Mini, when it should be set to "W" for Wumbo!
Used in the Goof Troop episode, "Bringin' on the Rain." Pete intends to water his yard thoroughly in an attempt to win a gardening contest. PJ objects, because they're in a drought. Pete then claims that since "the human body is 99% water", there can't possibly be a drought. PJ is too exhausted to respond with anything other than a resigned "Whatever you say, dad."
The Real Ghostbusters: In Episode 111, "Citizen Ghost," Peter and Egon are repairing the ghost containment unit, checking to see if every part is stable before they go to bed. Peter's getting tired, so he says "Check." to everything without actually checking it. Egon notices Peter dozing off, and asks him to check the TranswarpDrive next. When Peter says he's checked it, Egon calls him out on it, saying they don't have a Transwarp Drive. Peter reasons it can't malfunction if it doesn't exist, and if it doesn't exist, then nothing's wrong.
Egon: "I'm not talking to you again for at least a week. It's not good for me."
Peter: "Hey don't make fun, this is how I got through college."
Wander Over Yonder: In "The Little Guy," when Commander Peepers briefs the Watchdogs on capturing Wander and Sylvia, he tells them "And although technically we are the bad guys, these two are the real bad guys!"