Want to mark a character as a sexual deviant, but don't want to run into the Unfortunate Implications that tropes like the Depraved Homosexual or Bisexual or the Psycho Lesbian have? Simple. Imply that they have a sexual interest in animals. Preferably farm animals, since common pets still might be a bit too squicky for some.
This is almost always played for laughs, rather than titillation. It works partly because actual bestiality is rare enough to seem less "real" than other acts considered perverted, similar to the unreality of cartoon violence — yet common enough that it's more plausible (and perhaps less gross?) than necrophilia. We don't normally worry about the animal, because of said unreality and our moral distance from animals. Since the animals in question are not anthropomorphized and are usually the more "comical" ones found in nature (goats, sheep, chickens). Also, there are not (yet?) "Bestiality Pride" parades of the type that would inspire letter writing campaigns against the trope's use.
You may get a couple of letters from PETA and a severe hoof-to-the-head concussion, but frankly you should just expect that going in.
For some reason, the Welsh appear to be the most Acceptable Target for this trope, especially concerning sheep. The same also commonly applies to people from Dumfries and Aberdeen among the British. Also, Australians and New Zealanders seem to be fond of accusing each other of excessive fondness for said animal. Latin Americans get this a lot too, especially with regards to donkeys. Sometimes also alleged toward Bedouins and other groups who have long nights alone in the desert with no company except goats and camels. The American version is usually aimed at rednecks, while in Russia, the usual targets of the trope are Caucasians.
For the trope where people remember something naughty the character did and nothing else about the character who did it, see Never Live It Down.
Compare Extreme Omnisexual. A Subtrope of Unequal Pairing. May result in an Interspecies Romance.
Bestiality is also known as Zoophilia or Zoosexuality, and the Furry Fandomdo look down upon it, just so you know.
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Full Metal Panic!: The Second Raid has a scene where Gates was apparently masturbating to the sight of kittens (that or he was watching something else and just switched channels when he was interrupted).
Sorta played around in My Balls with Asmodeus, the sheep demon and Kohta at one instance. May also count for Beezlebub, Lamia and Minotaur.
Tsukihime made an Ascended Meme out of the line "That's all right... A cat is fine, too" after a dojinshi portrays Shiki as a Memetic Molester who wants to do terrible things to Len. When Len tries to escape via transforming into a cat, Shiki utters that immortal line.
In the "Gorilla Tactics" episode of Lupin III (Red Jacket) series, Lupin (in disguise) taunts Zenigata about an unwanted affectionate encounter he had with a gorilla the previous evening.
In My Bride Is a Mermaid, Nagasumi and his dad stumble across a mermaid porn DVD in a box of mermaid aerobics videos. When they both eagerly sit down to watch it, they're both stunned to find erotic footage of... fish. Ordinary fish. Nagasumi's dad casually questions his interests, and the humiliated Nagasumi dies a little more inside...
A famous joke and former page quote is replicated nearly word for word in Transmetropolitan (except it's a janitor in a convention hall and not a farmer) with throwaway character "Bill Chimpfucker".
In the Brazilian translation, it's actually kangaroos.
This eventually led to the famous Nextwave cover parody of the Civil War event, which read "Mark Millar Licks Goats". Millar apparently took it in stride.
Deconstructed in Alan Moore's Swamp Thing run. After pictures of her and (the admittedly anthropomorphic) Swamp Thing are shown in newspapers, Abigail Cable is arrested for her relationship and charged with "crimes against nature", the laws that would usually be used to prosecute the aforementioned screwers of farm animals. She's arrested, fired from her job, her reputation is ruined, everyone starts treating her like a horrible sex offender, and Swampy is forced to cover almost the entirety of Gotham in greenery in order to secure her release. It is up to Batman to point out that if the authorities are going to arrest everyone in The DCU who has a relationship with a non-human, and it's the delivery that just nails it as a literalSpace Whale Aesop. Eventually we will run into intelligent non-humans, and perhaps the biggest part of What Measure Is a Non-Human? is whether or not we believe them - or they believe us - worthy of love.
Batman: I mean, if you want to take this all the way, non-humanity doesn't end with the Swamp Thing. Let me see... You'll possibly have to arrest Hawkman... and Metamorpho... ...And there's also Starfire, from the Titans. Her race evolved from cats, I believe... The Martian Manhunter, obviously. CaptainAtom... And then of course there's what's-his-name... the one who lives in Metropolis.
Also gets a deconstructive nod in X-Men. Beast's already blue and furry, but when he undergoes a secondary mutation that leaves him looking more feline than hominid, his girlfriend breaks up with him because the tabloids start comparing the relationship to bestiality.
Being blue and furry was a secondary mutation that caused his girlfriend to break up with him, too. Beast originally just had unusual proportions and extreme acrobatic ability.
A favorite of Garth Ennis, particularly in Preacher, where Jesus de Sade, the world's wealthiest and most accomplished pervert, is offered an armadillo on a silver platter by his manservant. De Sade is also stated to have sodomized all the city zoo's larger quadrupeds, leading to the armadillo incident above. Also, during the party thrown by De Sade, we see a guy in the stocks surrounded by sheep, saying "Do it, you sluts!".
In Batman: Dark Allegiances, an Elseworlds story set in the 1930s, one character keeps insinuating that there is a blue movie of actress Kitty Graymalkin (a.k.a. Catwoman) having unnatural relations with a Rottweiler.
Ramba: In one scene in "Violent Death", Ramba has her pet cat Lucifer lick her vagina after finding out she has another target to assassinate.
Inverted by the Italian comic book Rat-Man, where it's the sheep who never lived down having sex with Rat-Man!
Cherry has sex with a dolphin in one issue of Cherry Comics.
Dungeon Keeper Ami: The Tales of Keeper Mercury's depravity are the stuff of legend. Features this as a running gag. Actually averted, but try telling anyone that...
Hitman Miami: Chapter 2 has the "Q.A. Head of the Spork Department" who is involved in illegal ferret smuggling. He uses the ferrets himself for... specific activities. Agent 47 comes upon him in the middle of said... specific activities, and can kill him easily by emitting a radio frequency that causes all ferrets to go vicious.
The more questionable side of Pokémon fandom was rife with this stuff even before the main games started suggesting it.
In Spirit Of Redemption there is a blink and you'll miss it line about one of the brothers of the leader of the turian goverment had a livestock habit.
In Past Lives Voldemort had one of his minions cast a spell on him which made you relive previous lives. On the first attempt he started acting like a cow, while the second resulted in sheeplike behavior. Two of the "stranger" Death Eaters volunteered to watch after him on the latter occasion.
The last words the Death Eaters heard as they popped out would haunt them forever. "Hey...let's find a fence to push this feller up against."
The factor that changes the entire plot of American Pie Presents: Beta House.
In Kingpin, the heroes have Vanessa Angel distract bowling opponents. It mostly works, except with a team of farmers. So they bring in this sheep...
In Kinsey, a sex researcher asks a heavily accented man about his first sexual experience, and he says what sounds like "with a horse." Stunned, the researcher asks more about the man's sexual experimentation with animals, to which the man exclaims "It's true, I fucked a pony. How did you know?" Turns out he had said "with whores" the first time.
The 2009 Star Trek movie has Uhura invoke this while snubbing Kirk's advances:
Uhura: Oh, I thought you were just a dumb hick who only has sex with farm animals. Kirk: Well, not only.
The whole "Shepherd and shrink" part of Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex, But Were Afraid to Ask. The sheep in lingerie! Yikes!
In Night on Earth, a cab driver (Roberto Benigni) confesses to his priest passenger that he's had sex with both a pumpkin and a sheep, going into lurid detail about said acts. The confession proves too much for the priest to take, and he has a heart attack and dies.
It also has Kevin Kline mistaking the "contact" between Jamie and a gorilla.
District 9: After Wikus flees the Corrupt Corporate Executive and his goons, the media reports that he had sex with aliens and contracted an STD. Every human he talks to after that for the rest of the movie comments on his alien sex, which they think is the cause of Wikus' steady transformation into an alien. Totally justified in that thanks to MNU's propaganda, that's all anyonedidknow about Wikus.
In one film version of Vilhelm Moberg's The Emigrants, one of the main characters begs to be taken along to America because everyone back home torments him about his suggested trysts with a cow. It's fairly likely it's just an unsubstantiated tale, but that doesn't stop it from ruining his life.
In Far and Away, Joseph uses this trope to insult his drunken brothers when they start giving him trouble.
Joseph: Shag off, the pair of you. There's a goat over there. Go improve your love life.
This trope is the premise of the film Sleeping Dogs Lie, which is about a woman who once performed fellatio on her dog in college and the ramifications of telling her boyfriend.
A prostitute in Unspeakable claims to have once been a popular porn star who fell out of favor, forcing her to do weird and illegal videos, one of which involved a poodle.
While having sex with a chocolate pastry, the Fat Idiot from Famine mentions he once raped a cat.
The Angel's Melancholy has a woman make out with the butchered remains of a pig, and later she gets intimate with a goat. This appears unsimulated.
In Midnight Run, Johnathan "The Duke" Mardukas tries to engage Jack Walsh in a conversation by discussing this trope.
Jonathan "The Duke" Mardukas: You ever had sex with an animal Jack? Remember those chickens on the Indian reservation? There were some good looking chickens there Jack. You know, between us...
Jack Walsh: Yeah, there were a couple there I wouldn't mind taking a shot at.
...at which point they both laugh.
The lost filmConvention City (1933) includes a drunk conventioneer leading a goat back to his room.
And in The Merry Wives of Reno (1934), a rancher seems more interested in his prized sheep than his blonde wife.
A number of rulers and other high-ups have been slandered by more or less fabricated accusations of zoophilia, the most notable victim of such slander being Catherine the Great.
The Old Testament forbids shepherds from going out alone (making them leave in pairs) specifically to prevent this "abomination," and Exodus has a bit about those who lie down with beasts. In the apocrypha of the Torah on which the story of Noah was based, meanwhile, bestiality was apparently so commonplace in antediluvian Earth that Noah's attempt to send out a raven to check whether the flood was over got derailed when the raven accused him of trying to steal its mate in its absence (before flying off and having sex with an eagle).
Sending only girls, young boys, or old geezers to herd animals was the prevalent habit in Finland for the same reasons.
While it's not folklore per se, there is a long tradition of nations and cultures accusing their neighbors of sleeping with animals. This continues into the modern day. Consider the relationship between New Zealand and Australia or Scotland, England and Wales; in the U.S., the Rural Midwest and the Deep South are the usual targets. For some reason it quite often seems to be sheep.
Sheep have sex organs that are "essentially the same" as humans (per answers.com); they also have better control of the muscle responsible for tightening/loosening the opening of the vagina.
One of the standard jokes: "Country X, where the men are men, and the sheep are nervous."
Another standard joke: "In Country X, they recently discovered another use for sheep. Wool!"
And "Why do CountryXers have sex on clifftops? The sheep push back harder."
In most countries, it's "Hey you, get off my cloud." But in Scotland, it's "Hey McLeod, get off my ewe!"
What do you call a sheep tethered to a lamppost in Cardiff? A rec centre.
Why do Scots wear kilts? Because the sheep started running when they heard a zipper.
In modern Russian folklore, people from Caucasus and Central Asia are referred to as "sheep/goat/donkey fuckers". A typical joke goes something like this: Why do Georgians have two donkeys in a stable, a larger and a smaller one? The larger one is for adults to "ride"; the smaller one is for children.
Hungarians are notorious for their elaborate cusswords and one of the nastiest goes something like "I wish you were ass-raped by a horse" (literally: "A horse's dick up your arse"). Another Hungarian expression is one that urges the other person to have oral sex with a horse. It means, roughly, "screw you". The latter is considered very vulgar, but the first can also be used jokingly, depending on social context.
It's thought that Witches in their Sabbath had sex with demons in the form of animals, including Satan as a black goat.
Some people are under the delusion that people go into marine biology want to do naughty things with fish, dolphins, and cephalopods. Needless to say, actual marine biologists (and people who actually want to be actual marine biologists) are not amused.
The same rule of thumb goes for the technical term for livestock farming - Animal Husbandry.
The Minotaur was born when Poseidon punished King Minos by making his wife fall in love with the bull Minos had been supposed to sacrifice to the gods but hadn't.
Subverted with Chinese mythology and popular folklore, where interspecies pairings are common and considered BENEFICIAL in terms of the resulting offspring, who is often physically perfect/beautiful, highly intelligent, a prodigy, or inherited magical abilities from parents. Many protagonists are actually ANIMAL SPIRITS and the stories revolve around their interspecies romance with mostly humans.
For example, Madam White Snake is the title and main character of her story, and the audience is meant to be sympathetic to her when she is betrayed by her human husband.
An entire origin myth of several ethnic groups living in the central-eastern region of China revolves around their dog ancestor Pan Hu, the Dog King. When a king requested help in defeating his rival, his pet dog kills and retrieves the head of said rival. The reward was his daughter's hand, and the king had no choice but to fulfill that promise. After taking her into the mountains, Pan Hu meditates to attain human form (in several stories, the princess interrupts the process and he is left with a dog's head). They produce many children between them, who become the ancestors of various tribes that live in that mountain and hold Pan Hu as their common forebear. These ethnic groups have travelled and brought their culture overseas to places like Canada, and hold many proud festivals celebrating and proclaiming their connection with Pan Hu the Dog King.
Though whether this is a full subversion is up for debate, as these animal spirits are noted to have attained sentience and human form via meditation, effectively surpassing their original 'base beast' form and placing them spiritually and intellectually on par with normal humans. However, the stories always remind people that they are in fact, still animals, and that their 'humanity' is still in some ways, a mimicry. They are however, not stigmatized for what they are or for pursuing relationships with humans, but are respected for their ability to reach this stage in enlightenment and the magical powers they attained while doing so.
Perhaps one of the most infamous examples is "The Eight Canine Heroes Of Hourse Satomi", a series of paintings illustrating a Japanese folk tale of a dog who marries his owner's daughter after fulfilling a task, who proceeds to birth him eight prodigious sons... and kill herself in shame because of this. Said paintings depict said daughter being graphically ravaged by the dog.
A young man is walking through a small village one day and decides to stop by a bar and have a beer. He walks into a bar, and sees a grizzled old man, crying into his beer. Curious, the young man sits down and says, "Hey old timer, why the long face?" The old man looks at him and points out the window, "See that dock out there? I built that dock with my own two hands, plank by plank, nail by nail, but do they call me McGregor the dockbuilder? No, no." The old man continued, "And see that ship out there? I've been fishing these waters for my village for 35 years! But do they call me McGregor the fisherman? No, no." The old man continued, "And see all the crops in the farms out there? I planted and have been farming those crops for my village for nearly 45 years! But do they call me McGregor the farmer? No, no." The old man starts to cry again, "But you screwone goat..."
Theres a military joke about a young (Army/Marine) Lieutenant's first time in Iraq, with the punchline being his Sergeant explains that he was supposed to ride the camel into town to pay a hooker.
That's only the latest update of a joke that's at least as old as colonialism in the Middle East.
Another joke describes a young shepherd who, lonely with the long hours alone in the fields with his sheep, was horrified to find himself starting to cast sideways glances at his charges. He asked an older, more experienced shepherd for advice, and was told to train a vicious dog to attack him if he started disrobing around the sheep. He did so, but the loneliness continued, until one day he heard a woman screaming off in the distance. Tracking down its source, he found a beautiful maiden who had been chased up a tree by a pack of wolves. After the shepherd and his dog chased away the wolves, the maiden asked if there were anything she could do to repay him. "Actually there is," he replied. "Can you keep this dog distracted for about ten minutes?"
A similar joke goes: a tired traveler is crossing a vast desert on his camel, and thinks to himself, "I haven't had sex for days... I'll make do with this camel." However, the camel won't stay still to allow him to have sex with it. Suddenly, three beautiful women appear out of nowhere. "You look lost," one says. "Can I help you?" Yes, the traveler says. "Could you please help me hold down the camel?"
There are actually plenty of jokes that follow this basic pattern. A man wants to have sex with an animal due to being horny in an isolated place with no women, but someting is preventing him to do so. A woman (or more) enters the setting, usually willing to do anything the man asks of her. The punch line consists of the man asking her to take care of whatever prevents him to have sex with the animal rather than having sex him.
A gentleman stops by a biker bar and notices a large jar full of twenty dollar bills sitting on a high shelf. He asks the bartender about it, and the bartender tells him that anyone who likes can put a twenty in the jar and then attempt to win the pot by completing three tasks: defeating the toughest biker in the bar in a fistfight, performing some amateur dentistry on the bartender's vicious dog which has a sore tooth, and sexually satisfying the bartender's hideously ugly nymphomaniac wife. The man drops a twenty in the jar, walks over to the biker and knocks him out with one punch. He strides confidently into the back room, where the bartender hears his dog give out the most pitiful howl he's ever heard. The man returns and asks the bartender, "Okay, now where's that ugly lady with the sore tooth?"
There's a variation of that in Finland: A Finn, a Swede and a Norwegian were visiting Greenland, and decided to have a wager of toughness: they had to drink a keg of vodka, kill a polar bear barehanded and make love to (or rape) an Eskimo woman. The Swede and the Norwegian failed in humiliating ways, but the Finn drank down the entire keg and left off to find a polar bear. Hours later he comes back covered in tears and scratches and asks: "Nhow wheresh that Eshkhimo I wash shupposhed to kill?"
The same joke is told with a Texan who went to Alaska, and was given the same challenge.
There's also a variation in Brazil: Mussum of OsTrapalhões tried to join a gang and was told that, in order to join, he had to complete three tasks: drinking a whole bottle of (the troper isn't sure of the kind of alcoholic beverage) at once, cut off the tail of a lion caged near the bar where he and the gang were having the challenge, and kissing the ugly bartender ten times. He could do the tasks in any order he chose and started with the drinking challenge. Mussum then left the bar to search for the lion. Upon returned, he mentioned he had just finished kissing the lion and would now cut the woman's tail.
An American anthropologist has been studying a tribe in Africa by living with them for a year. One day, the chief called him into the chief's hut. The chief sighed. "Well, my friend, it seems that we must ask you to leave." The anthropologist was surprised by this; he thought he had gained the tribe's trust. "Why, what's the matter?" he stammered. "It seems that a woman in our tribe has given birth to a baby... a white baby," said the chief. The anthropologist began to laugh. "Oh, is that all? No, that's just a classic case of albinism. It's caused by inheriting recessive pigment genes and..." The chief didn't look convinced, so he pointed at a nearby flock of sheep. "See those sheep? All of them are white except for that one. It's like that!" The chief was silent for a moment and said, "Listen, you don't talk about the sheep, and I won't talk about the baby."
A man goes to a bawdy house and asks the proprietor what "services" he can get for five dollars. "Five dollars?!" says the proprietor. "That's all I have," says the customer. "Very well," says the proprietor, "follow me." He takes the man to a small room containing nothing but a chicken. "What am I supposed to do with that?" asks the man. "Hey, you came here for sex," says the proprietor, "and you get what you pay for." He leaves, and the man, disgusted but desperate, has sex with the chicken. The next week, he comes back and asks what he can get for ten dollars. "Follow me," says the proprietor. He takes the customer to a room where a number of men are watching a peep show. The customer looks through a peephole and sees a man having sex with a sheep. He joins his fellow customers in derisive laughter. Nudging the man beside him, he says, "Boy, what a pathetic sicko that guy is, huh?" "That's nothing," says the other. "Last week there was a guy in there screwing a chicken."
A farmer, trying to improve his mind, takes up reading in his spare time. Every time he comes across an unfamiliar word, he jots it down so he can ask the minister, who's the most educated person in the village. One day he sees the minister walking by, waves him over, and hands him the list. "Reverend," he says, "can you tell me what these words mean?" The minister patiently defines them one by one, then blushes and hesitates as he comes to the last word. "Come on, Reverend," says the farmer. "Don't be bashful. What does 'bestiality' mean?" "Er...well," says the minister, "it refers to the forbidden and disgusting act of intimate relations with beasts, such as sheep, goats, and chickens." "Ewww," says the farmer. "Chickens?"
During the Bush Administration, First Lady Laura Bush told on television a joke about George milking a horse.
The three biggest lies in <<name the place you're insulting>>:
An American researcher comes to England to study farming. On his travels he hears about the practice of sheep fornication. He goes around Yorkshire asking farmers "Do you have intercourse with sheep?" As you can expect, the farmers are insulted, demanding he leave and slamming the door in his face. Just as he is about to give up, one man he asks looks around and answers "yes, and I'll answer your questions so long as you can promise you won't reveal anything about me". So the researcher asks "well...how do you do it?" The farmer replies "you put the back legs in your boots and the front legs on a wall and go from there." From there, the researcher goes to Wales, where he asks the same question. The first farmer he meets boldly responds "yes!". Again, the researcher asks how, and the Welshman responds "You put the back legs in your boots and the front legs over your shoulders and go from there". The researcher says "That's interesting, because in Yorkshire a man said back legs in boots and front over a wall". "What?!" replies the Welshman, "No kissing?!"
A farmer went to a psychiatrist, complaining that he was being sexually aroused by his horse. "I see", said the psychiatrist, "Is the horse a stallion or mare?" "Mare, of course!" answered the farmer angrily; "Do you take me for some kind of pervert?"
A tourist is visiting New Zealand. While driving in the countryside, he spots a farmer with his sheep. The tourist asks, "Are you shearing that sheep?" The farmer replies, "No, get your own. I'm not sharing her with anyone!"
Two New Zealand pilots are flying a flock of sheep. Suddenly, the plane starts going down because of engine trouble. The first pilot says "We gotta jump out, get your parachute!" "But what about the sheep?" asks the second. "Fuck the sheep!" shouts the first. The second responds: "You think we have the time?"
A man arrives in a Gold Rush boom town, and asks in the saloon what they do for entertainment, since there are no women in the town. He's told there's a flock of sheep, and everyone has sex with them. The new arrival is horrified by this, but as the days go on he gets more and more desperate. Finally he decides that if he's going to do it, he's going to do it right, so he chooses a sheep, dresses it up, and takes it to the saloon for a drink. When he arrives, everything goes silent, and all the patrons stare at him in shock. Embarrassed he stammers "I was told everyone here did it!" "Yeah," comes the reply, "but we don't pick up the sheriff's girl!"
In this skit, a man is trying to get into the gates of heaven. He was a philanthropist and devout Christian, and he isn't sure why he's being denied entry.
St Peter: Remember, God sees all. Man: Then you know about the- St Peter: Yep. Man: And the- St Peter: Yep. Man: And that one time... St Peter: Heh, we got that one on tape! Man: But... but she was eighteen! St Peter: Still a goat. [beat]
The condom was invented in the early 8th century by Welsh shepherds, who prevented pregnancy by using the lower intestine of a sheep. It was later improved upon by using the lower intestine without the rest of the sheep.
A professor at the University of Tennessee was giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?" About 90 students raise their hands. "Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've seen a ghost?" About 40 students raise their hands. "That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?" About 15 students raise their hands. "Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" 3 students raise their hands. "That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?" Way in the back, Bubba raises his hand. The professor takes off his glasses, and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience." The big South Carolina redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, "So, Bubba, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?" Bubba replied, "Shiiiiit! From way back thar I thought you said, goats."
Jim Norton has a bit about bestiality, in which he says he's unsure of how to feel about it, and that opinion is due to depending on the size of the animal. A large animal, such as a horse or a cow, you're not going to hurt it, it'd probably never even notice. But a small animal, like a chicken or a small dog, you're a sick fuck who gets off on hurting things smaller than yourself because you never made a woman go "ow".
An elderly woman had a fantasy about marrying a man who'd never been with a woman before. She applied to a rather discreet matchmaking service which gave her the name of an Australian gentleman. They got in touch, hit it off and soon were married. On their wedding night, she walked into the bedroom only to discover that all of the furniture had been moved to the side of the room. When she asked why her new husband replied "Well, I've never done it with a woman before, but if it's anything like kangaroos then we're gonna need all the space we can get."
The first book of the Aubrey-Maturin series has a mention of a sailor who gets caught buggering a goat, meaning he will be hanged, and the poor goat slaughtered. When Jack doesn't want to deal with the situation and its inevitable impact on the rest of the crew, Stephen suggests he just put them ashore: "separate shores, if you feel strongly about the moral issue."
It gets better, when Jack offers Stephen some milk in his coffee: "Goat's milk?" "Why, yes, I suppose so." "Perhaps without milk, then..."
In The Journeyer, by Gary Jennings, a historical novel about the life and travels of Marco Polo, the slave Nostril first makes his appearance being dragged behind a panicked mare which he had been assigned to groom and to which he had been chained. Nostril's proclivities get more creative as the novel progresses.
Played rather seriously in Balzac's novella A Passion in the Desert where a man's relationship with a leopard he domesticates is presented in romantic terms.
He and his Companion are in love with each other, but he only ever mounts her in the usual equine sense. The heralds probably would have had something to say, otherwise...Luckily Companions are the divinely reincarnated souls of dead (human) Heralds, which helps a little.
To be even more precise, he and his Companion are Life Bonded, which means they are fated to be paired together and is something they has NO control over. This normally means romantically, which certainly raises implications. However, while they are life bonded, it is never acted on sexually. It does mean that he will never have a normal romantic relationship with anyone else. Lackey started the Life Bond concept as the ultimate romantic ideal, but gradually moved it back as her work progressed to indicate that it could have problems. This pairing was one prime example of the problems that could result.
In the Stephanie Plum book series, Stephanie's cousin Vinnie was once "in love" with a duck.
Vinnie is the butt of this joke quite often. In one of Stephanie's monologues he's said to sleep with anything: Women, Men, Dogs, Goats...
There's also a persistent rumor about Joyce's alleged fondness for dogs...
Ferrol Sams' book Run With The Horseman has the character nicknamed "Moo Cow" for this reason.
From The Xenophobe's Guide To The Welsh, a joke apparently told by the Welsh themselves:
"Have you heard? Old Jones the farmer has been found interfering with a sheep!" "Good heavens! Ewe or ram?" "Ewe...there's nothing funny about Jones."
In a variant, the response to the first line is "Ewwww...." and the answer to that is "Of course... there's [&c]."
In one of Marion Zimmer Bradley's Lythande stories, through the story she constantly hears and sometimes contemplates the insult "You molester of virgin goats!" In the finale when she's confronted by a fellow member of her order who's seen evidence to let him possibly guess she's female (every member of their order has to keep one fact about themselves secret or lose their power), she starts yelling insults at him just to distract him, but when she uses the Virgin Goats one, the reaction on his face makes her immediately realize that that's HIS secret.
Joan Hess's Maggody mysteries contain joking references to this, many of them in regards to how Raz Buchanon dotes upon his pet pedigree sow, Marjorie. Internal monologue by Robin Buchanon, just before her death, indicates this character had trained the family dog to engage in some highly-questionable behavior.
Towards the end of Altered Carbon, the main character is fighting his way through an exclusive hangout for sexual deviants, and he finds a battered-looking dog and a man who did something unpleasant to it (and who incidentally has his pants down). The main character shoots the man in the head (nonlethal, given the futuristic setting, but quite an unpleasant experience). This is treated as a Pet the Dog moment.
The Emigrants features a serious version. Arvid the farmhand gets into the bad graces of the farmer's old mother. To dirty Arvid's name, she spreads a rumor that he does unknowable things to one of the cows. This becomes Arvid's motivation to emigrate to America.
John Donne's "Satire IV", which skewers gossipy would-be courtly types, references this one:
Who wasts in meat, in clothes, in horse, he notes; Who loves Whores, who boyes, and who goats.
In A Song of Ice and Fire, Arya/Jeyne is forcibly married to Ax-Crazy Ramsay Bolton, and while the abuses she suffers are never specified, when she is rescued she says that she'll 'do whatever he wants, with him or the dog" before breaking down. There's also hints that Bolton has an unusual attachment to his hunting dogs, who are all female. Played for Drama to the extreme (as she can be heard crying throughout the entire castle, constantly). In a more humorous take, while the subtext is clear, the ribald song "The Bear and the Maiden Fair" has subtext implying it's a bear of a man (i.e. large, lots of coarse hair) who wins said maiden by being good at oral sex, but the text just has him as a plain, if talking, bear. And of course, there's the tale Tormund Giantsbane, Husband to Bears tells of that time he was really drunk...
In Protector of the Small, lady-knight-in-training Kel and the King's Own have dealings with a herd of centaurs. Some of them went rogue and became bandits, and it's mentioned that the leader of the others is killing the "slaves" - horses - who were mounted by the renegades, believing that being mated with wicked centaurs ruins the horses. It doesn't help that earlier on, that same leader wanted to buy Kel, seeing her as sturdy and possibly able to bear sons of his kind.
Thus far, this hasn't actually appeared in Discworld, but it gets invoked quite a lot.
When Sergeant Colon decides to learn about farming in Feet of Clay, he gets a bit worried about a book called Animal Husbandry, because you hear stories...
In Maskerade the phrase "the people of Lancre got up with the chickens and went to bed with the cows" has a clarifying footnote that this means they went to bed at the same time as the cows.
Both the above phrases are analysed in Nanny Ogg's Cookbook, but sadly her thoughts on the matter are covered by notes from the publisher about how that entire section can't be used.
And there's Bestiality Carter, who like all the Carters has a Non-Indicative Name, and is very kind to animals. (The Carter family got their wires crossed; since you can name girls for virtues, well then boys...)
Feeney from Snuff mentions how his grandfather used to know all the local people's secrets, like how one man had been caught in flagrante delicto with a common barnyard fowl.
Subverted in Reaper Man, in which the prospect of Ludmilla (a werewolf) getting together with Lupine (a wereman) is treated as a perfectly-acceptable Interspecies Romance, despite him being a normal wolf and her, a normal human, most of the month. The fact that Lupine is fully sentient as a wereman and pretty smart even as a wolf makes it palatable.
It doesn't happen in Codex Alera either, but the Marat and their totem animals are the subject to jokes like this among the Alerans. Kitai, one of the Marat who's bonded with Tavi, an Aleran, makes a joke similarly when she's explaining the bond—Tavi asks if his bond with her is like her father, Doroga's, bond with a gargant, named Walker, and she says when she last checked, Doroga wasn't mating with Walker...because Walker wouldn't stand for it.
In Harry Potter it's mentioned in passing that Dumbledore’s brother Aberforth got in trouble for a “minor scandal” with the Department of Magical Law Enforcement for “using inappropriate charms on a goat.” When an eight year old asked in one interview about what kind of charm it was, Rowling was a little shocked.
"I think that he was trying to make a goat that was easy to keep clean [laughter], curly horns. That’s a joke that works on a couple of levels. I really like Aberforth and his goats. But you know Aberforth having this strange fondness for goats if you've read book seven, came in really useful to Harry, later on, because a goat, a stag, you know. If you’re a stupid Death Eater, what’s the difference. So, that is my answer to YOU."
In Apuleius' The Golden Ass, the main character (who's been transformed into a donkey) worries about this trope when he's sold to a gang of Camp Gay crossdressing priests, but nothing bad comes from it. Later in the story, he has sex with a noble matron who actually paid for him, and later is used to inflict a painful death by sex to a vile, adulterous woman, but he's so disgusted by her that he runs away instead.
In Tinker, Chiyo, a Kitsune, is forced by Lord Tomtom to breed with and becomes pregnant by a warg; a sort of pony sized wolf.
Notably averted in Xanth. The realm's magic makes it possible for nearly any two creatures to produce viable offspring as long as they can make the parts fit - and if they don't fit, you can get an accommodation spell. Most beings tend to be attracted to their own species, but Interspecies Romance abounds and carries very little stigma. And then there are the love springs - if you drink from one, you immediately fall in love with the next creature of the opposite sex you lay eyes on. When, say, a man and his mare drink from the same spring, the result is a centaur.
Carl Hiaasen, "Native Tongue", the dolphin scene. (And that's only a blatant example, a list of the more subtle insinuations in all his crime novels would get too long...)
In Philip Jose Farmer's Lord Tyger, when the Wild Child protagonist Ras Tyger note actually raised by a couple of midgets in ape-suits in order to create a kind of real-life Tarzan reaches adolescence he trains a small monkey to "play" with him. The few people who learn about this react pretty much as you'd expect, but he neither understands nor cares.
In the book Guns, Germs, and Steel, the author recalls a situation where a doctor was stumped as to the illness of his patient. Finally he asked if symptoms had appeared after a sexual experience. The man stammered a bit, but in the end admitted he'd had sex with a sheep while abroad. Unfortunately, the man spoke little English, so all questions and answers had to throughhis wife...
In Bored of the Rings, boggies are described as having a "usual fondness for fuzzy animals." Spam Gangree has received a suspended sentence for having performed "an unnatural act with an underage female dragon of the opposite sex," and Frito's mother and Dildo's sister is said to have married a "hafling, i.e. part boggie, part opossum" from "the wrong side of the Gallowine."
The Long Earth has an, uhm, inversion? The "Beagles" are a canine-like intelligent species from a parallel Earth. When cultural exchange along the Earths lets them discover Terran dogs, they use them as sex toys. (It's an alien culture, so don't bitch.)
Mirror, Mirror: The cook laconicly states she had sex with a squid and even shows the suck marks. (It's possible that the squid wanted her for dinner and she merely wanted to annoy the priest, though.)
In the final episode of Blackadder II, the German Prince Ludwig reveals that the sheep Melchett had... relations with, was actually him in brilliant disguise.
Subverted later in the episode, when he's revealing how he knows Queen Elizabeth. It really looks like he's going to reveal that he was her horse and she had sex with him, but then it turns out that he was the German stable lad, and she didn't sleep with him. Her relationship with the horse appears purely platonic.
In the premier episode of series one, Edmund is secretly nursing Henry Tudor back to health in his room, hoping for a reward. His mother comes in, and when Edmund implies that there is someone in his bed, the Queen asks if it is a sheep. He denies this. Later on, to keep her from checking the bed he makes bleating noises. Her response: "Oh, Edmund. It's the lying I find so hurtful."
In the Torchwood episode "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang", Captain John Hart expresses an attraction to poodles.
Gwen: Do you ever stop? John: What, five minutes to live and you want me to behave? Oh, that's gorgeous... Gwen: That's a poodle! John:(growling) S'nice!
In one episode of MashMulcahy keeps trying to describe The Yearling (a film that was going to be shown) 'about a tender relationship between a boy and a young deer', and each time, the character (Radar, Potter, etc.) would respond with a "Oh yeah, like my (relative), except it was with a (mule, horse)" with an implication that their relative had a more intimate fondness with their chosen animal.
Father Ted: "No, No, Dougal, we must keep away from the idea that we're in love with the horse. It's more that we're friends with the horse."
On The League of Gentlemen the Tattsyrup family are said to have a bit of pig in their ancestry (which turns up in their noses), and Hilary Briss is married to a cow. The extent of their relationship is unclear.
In Phoenix Nights, there is strong innuendo that Keith Lard (a fire safety officer from Bolton) is into bestiality. He is led away by police, only to be released when an Alsatian fails to testify. In real life, Channel 4 had to apologize to Keith Laird (a fire safety officer from Bolton) who claimed that his reputation was damaged by this show.
Due to Moral Guardian standards and limited dialogue potential, this is one of the few sex crimes that has never been featured on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. It has, however, been referenced in dialogue between sex-crimes investigators. "His father caught him alone with his new bride, Missy. Missy's a German shepherd."
Manswers has taken this trope to its extreme, by investigating which animal's genitalia bear the closest resemblance to those of a human woman. Sheep were, of course, among the candidates researched. (Their conclusion? If you're kinky enough to care, it's the dugong. At least, it could explain the Mermaid Problem.)
In the first season of The Mighty Boosh many "intimate liaisons" with the zoo animals were implied. Howard warns Vince in one episode, not to get too close to any of the animals in the zoo bringing up the example of a (literal) fox in a nearby cage. which apparently was a "Mistake" according to Howard. Apparently in the Mighty Boosh world bestiality is a scandal more like a professor sleeping with a graduate student than how it's viewed in real life...
This is probably because animals in the Boosh-verse are sapient. Most of them can talk, and are of comparable intelligence to the human characters. Not only are they capable of consenting to sex with humans, more than often they are the ones who instigate it (who can forget the scene where Vince gets raped by that panda?).
In Sons of Anarchy after Tig spills his bike during a charity run and requires medical attention he's picked-up at the hospital by bounty-hunters over an outstanding warrant in Oregon. The charge? ...indecent exposure in a livestock transport.
Owen, on The Vicar of Dibley, is initially implied to do this. When Radio Dibley ran a Moral Maze style programme on the topic "Is Sex With Poodles Always Wrong?", he was the one speaking in favour. By the end of the series, they'd done away with all pretense and flatout stated he was regularly having sex with animals, calling a sheep his girlfriend in one episode. Jim was also stated to be at least attracted to sheep. Luckily, by that point Refuge in Audacity had become a staple for pretty much every character who wasn't Geraldine or David.
Dr Cox: Don'cha see, Barbie, I would rather listen to you go on and on about the joys of dolphin sex. Elliot: Dolphin trainer sex. My boyfriend is a dolphin trainer. Dr. Cox: Here that's a shame, because the whole dolphin thing used to make you so interesting.
Another reference with that dolphin trainer:
Sean: Why are things so much easier with dolphins? Elliot: Probably because you're not trying to date the dolphin. Sean: Oh, God, no. Not after that big talk they gave us.
And again with JD when there's a rumor about JD being into bestiality because he practiced kissing on Rowdy (JD and Turk's dead stuffed dog).
In Life On Mars, Chris and Ray make sheep noises at a prisoner ("Dicky Fingers") they're picking up for transport. When Sam asks why, Chris refers to this trope. Later, as they're driving, Chris points out a lamb; Dicky responds, "What d'you think I am, a nonce?" ("Nonce" being UK slang for child molester.)
Boston Legal: Denny was shown repeatedly to have a thing for sheep.
Also, there was that thing with that camel that one time in the military... The camel, apparently, had no complaints.
In another episode, a client has an affair with Wendy... his cow. Which at one point leads Schmidt to say, "But you screw one cow..."
Ally McBeal: Richard uses this potential scenario to argue before the judge that the Supreme Court's ruling that the President - and by default a Congressman like his client - could be sued while in office was a bad ruling:
"Don't tell me I can't cripple a Congressman's ability to do his work! With today's media? It's not like they go out and check the facts! I could say something about you having sex with a goat - totally untrue, so what! All I gotta do is say it, Newsweek will print it and boom, your whole docket becomes spin control!
Jim Sweeney: (translating Josie's faux-Albanian) "I like to stroke the big ones... Some of those sheep play really hard-to-get... (catches Josie in an unfortunate gesture) ...I think that speaks for itself..."
In one game of Let's Make a Date Colin was given the character of a man who "gets turned on by danger" and Ryan was a "ravenous" boa contrictor. It was played erotically almost from the start.
Red Dwarf: Lister complains that he's personally broken four of the five holy commandments he supposedly passed down to the Cat people; "I'd've broken the fifth, but there's no sheep on board."
Mentioned in The Thick of It when Malcolm gives Olly a bollocking for questioning one of his more unscrupulous schemes: "Don't start with the moral objections, you fuckin' Blue Peter badge-wearing ponce! Go and make a contribution to fuckin' Amnesty International! Go and buy a goat that a whole village can fuck!"
Later on, Phil compares Olly to "the man who fucked the monkey that gave us AIDS", in the sense that he has created a runaway problem and is now moaning about its scale.
Corky from Murphy Brown was first runner up at the Miss America contest, but got the crown when the winner was forced to resign. Why?
Corky: She told everyone she loved animals, but who would have thought to take her literally?
The Daily Show started its "Thank You South Carolina" segment after a man from there received press attention for having sex with a horse after having already pled guilty to having had sex with the same horse. And they happened to discover this on the heels of the Sanford scandal.
Gonzo of The Muppet Show has an on-again, off-again relationship with both anthropomorphic Muppet hen as well as real cows and hens.
Referenced in Lexx: "It's all here. You have babes, boys, beasts, thinner, fatter, hunks, chunks, monks, twins dipped in batter, the wiggle, the jiggle, the oo-la-la, people to spank you, and sheep to go baa" - Schlemmi, Luvliner
One episode of QI has Stephen Fry ask, "What is the difference between a Carlisle Surprise, a Reverse Canterbury Delight, and a sheep tied to a lamppost in Cardiff?" Welsh comedian Rob Brydon attacks Stephen for "institutionalized racism that is accepted when it's addressed at the Welsh," answers the last bit by saying you call a sheep tied to a lamppost in Cardiff "a leisure centre," then castigates the other panelists and the audience for laughing.note The answer, by the way, is that Carlisle Surprise and Reverse Canterbury Delight are bellringing methods.
There's also a bit in another episode where Stephen Fry says the "You can get a lot from goats. You can get cheese, you can get wool you can get sex-"
And let's not forget Stephen's reaction to the pictures illustrating the question "How can a horse catch an eel?"; "That's a rather attractive horse." (Both Rich Hall and Sean Locke immediately retort that they'd rather have the eel.) Stephen's affections for the horse lasted throughout the episode.
A characteristically bizarre subversion on House: a teenage boy came to the clinic asking for drugs to kill his sex drive, claiming it was because he was very attracted to cows and didn't know how much longer he could hold out. Turned out it was actually his hot stepmother he was attracted to. And he didn't want to admit that. So he pretended he was into cows. Okay.
Also, one time, House was talking with Thirteen and another female doctor in his office, while on his computer. The female doctor looks at the computer screen (which cannot be seen) and gets a noticeably squicked out expression. House asks her, "do you have a problem with the naked female form?" Thirteen then says "I just don't think she's used to seeing it spooning with the naked dolphin form." This being House, it was most likely a ploy to get them to go away faster. Probably.
In another episode, a clinic patient has a skin condition normally found in horses and related quadrupeds. When she says she's an actress, House jumps to certain conclusions about her "art." In fact, she is playing the Virgin Mary in a live-action Christmas pageant, in which she rides a donkey.
In Trailer Park Boys, Ricky randomly tries to make a joke about this to Julian, completely unrelated to what they were doing at the time.
A census worker interviewing an addled Christopher Walken, who reveals that his wife is a bobcat.
A spoof of daytime talk shows that send unruly teens to boot camps, in which Christina Ricci plays a girl whose mother catches her playing with the family dog, and is afraid that she will give birth to "biracial dog babies".
On one show, Woody Harrelson heads a trio of lonesome singing cowboys - one lyric being "And the horse starts to look good by the campfire..."
On Boy Meets World there is a Flash Forward to a potential future in which the whole gang had broken up and in this future Eric became an insane hermit living in the woods who married a moose. Hopefully it was a platonic marriage...
Raj: I'm telling you dude, the only way to make you feel better about Penny going out with other guys, is for you to get back on the whores. Howard: ... "horse". Raj: What? Howard: The phrase is "get back on the horse"... not "whores". Raj: That's disgusting, dude!
One episode of Family Feud had the question "Name something a lazy man might teach his dog to turn on." One of the answers was "his girlfriend", presumably for shock value.
Mick 'The Bull' Daly: You can kill and eat animals - that's no problem, like. That's fine, you kill them and eat them. But once you start riding them, then society's like 'Oh no, you can't ride them.' But you can kill them and eat them, like. But if the animal had a choice, huh?
In the Sirens US episode "Rachel McAdams Topless", Hank, Johnny and Brian, having agreed to erase a patient's browser history before calling his family, snoop through said history and find a video of a woman and a horse performing an unspecified act. They spend the rest of the episode trying to get rid of the mental image.
GWAR's "Fuckin' an Animal" fits this in as strict a sense as possible. Their song "Sexecutioner" does so a little bit more subtly.
"Music/Dirty Deeds (Done with Sheep)" (a parody of an AC/DC song). That is all.
"Weird Al" Yankovic. "Virus Alert". One of the dreaded features of the virus is that it will "make you physically attracted to sheep". Maybe not as bad as causing a major rift in time and space, but still...
The bickering couple in "Jerry Springer" have cheated on each other with (among others) her dog Woofie and his pet goat.
"That goat doesn't love you!"
From Tom Lehrer's introduction to his song "In Old Mexico": "His educational career began, interestingly enough, in agricultural school, where he majored in animal husbandry, until they.. caught him at it one day..."
And the classic line from "I Got It From Agnes": "She then gave it to Daniel/Whose spaniel has it now"
From John Butler's "Hand of the Almighty"
- Now Ray was full aware/that some sheep were over there/and he knew them in the biblical sense!"
The many strange habits of Harald, in the Swedish song Haralds konstiga vanor, apparently include getting a little too friendly with sheep.
Related: One Welsh singer (a thirteen-year-old girl) had her album recalled so that they could alter the cover. Why? She was standing in a field with sheep. Nobody wanted the obvious jokes made.
The infamous Bawdy Song, "The Good Ship Venus" has a verse about the ship's dog, Rover. You can pretty much guess what the pirate narrators do to the hound in question.
The Ivor Biggun song "Halfway Up Virginia" details the sexual exploits of a stereotypical hillbilly. The singer gleefully admits to having sex with 49 sheep, a mule, a golden retriever, a skunk, a woodchuck, an unspecified number of polecats, an unspecified number of raccoons, a hound dog, a groundhog, an opossum and pretty much anything that moves doesn't run away fast enough. He then makes the following statement:
"And every last one is female, 'Cos there ain't nothing strange about me!"
Eatingnote slang for intercourse armadillo is good To bad it hurts your back The animal's too short That's why I prefer the goats
Many of Wesley Willis' songs deal with bestiality ("Suck a Cheetah's Dick", "Drink a Camel's Cum"). A schizophrenic, Willis believed that demons were tormenting him, and that the songs would disgust the demons enough to leave him alone.
blink-182 has the song I Wanna Fuck A Dog In The Ass. On the Mark, Tom, and Travis Show, the banter between songs includes Tom claiming that he will get sexier as the show goes on due to the heat in the arena and the exertion of performing a concert. Mark speculates that Tom will aso get fatter and fatter, "Because dog semen is very high in calories." "Yeah, don't eat dog semen, kids; we hear it's the number one cause of bad breath."
In Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, the Bad Reverend's audition for the Evil League of Evil had him asserting against rumors (and his own mutterings) that he would not molest Bad Horse.
And inverted when Bad Horse's letters include directions to "Make the Bad Horse gleeful/ Or he'll make you his mare!"
In the book-only Dilbert collection Dogbert's Clues for the Clueless, Dogbert says that a mother has a lifetime right to tell embarrassing stories about her children. Cut to a woman, seated beside her grown son, asking someone "Did I ever tell you about Jeffrey's first visit to the zoo?...Well, Jeffrey was just reaching puberty and still confused about a lot of things..." The son begs her in anguish to stop, but to no avail: "And to this day he's still banned from the monkey cage area."
The Far Side had one with two chimpanzees grooming each other:
"Well, well, another blonde hair. Conducting a little more 'research' with that Jane Goodall tramp?"
Allegedly, Goodall's lawyer sent Larson a strongly-worded letter about the comic... followed by a letter from Goodall herself saying she thought it was hilarious.
In October 1999, The Godfather tried to offer his hoes to Mideon before a match. Mideon stated "I don't do hoes, but do you have any farm animals?" Note that Mideon's former gimmick is that of Phineas I. Godwinn, a pig farmer.
On a 2010 episode of TNA iMPACT!, Ric Flair made one of his infamous rambling promos, wherein he claimed to have had sex with Zenyatta. A race horse.
In an episode of Just a Minute recorded in Cardiff, one of the panelists was challenged for "deviating from the subject" because he was talking about sheep. He quickly responded "But sheep aren't considered a deviation in Wales."
Opie And Anthony broadcast a clip of a German porno featuring a man... um... "skewering" a chicken. And it's obvious, from the changing tone of the chicken's squawking, when the penetration begins.
Religion & Mythology
In the law books of The Bible, especially the Book of Exodus, anyone (male or female) who has sex with an animal is to be executed. The animal is also considered Defiled Forever, and must be slaughtered.
Tons of it in mythology and ancient fairy tales. Mostly subverted, though (the above example with the Minotaurus is a "real" one), since gods in disguise, centaurs, princes under curse and generic talking animals etc. won't count as "proper" bestiality. (Still, it's fodder for Getting Crap Past the Radar or playing it for the lulz - for example, a collection of Little Red Riding Hood erotica alone would already fill its own page.)
LokiReally Gets Around. He is the mother (yes, mother) of Odins eight-legged horse Sleipnir. (That was his way of distracting the workhorse of the Jötun who built Asgard, to cheat him out of his payment.)
Cheech And Chong's skit "Hey Margaret" has the couple Harry (Chong) and Margaret (Cheech) watching a porno movie where, among other things, the lead actress has sex with a dog. Also, in "The Old Man In The Park", where the Old Man (Chong) tells the Punk (Cheech) that the Punk could be his son because "I used to fuck Buffalo. In fact, you look just like your momma."
One of Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might be a Redneck"s is "If your parole states you can not own sheep".
Jim Gaffigan, in a hidden track at the end of the album "Doing My Time," plays a character who talks about how he is always reminded of fucking a donkey when he returns home. His excuse: "I was drunk and he mumbled something."
Ellen DeGeneres did a bit about folks objecting to gay marriage stating "next thing, people will be marrying goats" and wondering why they always go there first thing. "Mom, Dad...this is Billy."
Joe Rogan: "You don't fuck sheep because they're hot. You do it because they're that high and no one's looking. Or there's a guy with a camera and he's giving you money."
In Bob Saget's HBO Special That Ain't Right, Bob goes on a long riff to randomly-picked audience member Jared, warning him about the dangers of fucking various animals, including goats, ostriches, turtles, and porcupines.
He enters his Comedy Central roast in an elevator preceded by two hot girls, an elderly woman and a goat. Saget's first act is to zip up his fly and to mime to the goat to call him.
Adam Hills relays a story about a conversation with an audience member who had worked in forensics in Wales. The man told a story about a farmer who, during the foot-and-mouth crisis, had loved his cows so much that he had taken them into a field and shot them before shooting himself. When Hills expressed his sympathies for the farmer, the audience member clarified that the man “really loved his cows”, as he had no partner, no pornography, but a lot of Viagra. When Hills was still doubtful, the man continued “We swabbed the cows.” Apparently, they got positive results on six out of forty-eight. Hills ends the story with “I know, but all I could think was; what was wrong with the other forty-two? Were they not as pretty or just faster?”
Exalted features the Lunars, blessed of Luna and boon companions to the Solars. They generally have beast-like traits (including a "totem animal" they can change into at will), and with this comes the ability to breed Beastmen. Thing is, to do it, one of the parties has to be bestial, and the other party has to be humanoid... and the Lunars can be either.
It is noted that many Lunars aren't necessarily depraved even despite this... but there are some straight examples. Raksi, a Lunar queen of a massive brood of half-ape offspring is, among other things, an infamous baby-eating cannibal sorceress.
The Gangrel clan sourcebook for Vampire: The Requiem has a historian claiming that the first Gangrel were made when barbarian kings had relations with animals, and were born of ancient sorcery playing on the twisted beings that emerged. Mind you, that may not be the truth (to put it mildly), but man, you can just see most of the clan walking out into sunlight if that turned out to be the truth, can't you?
For the Garou in the cWoD, at least occasional bestiality is practically a part of life; they can't breed true with each other (any offspring from such unions is usually deformed or otherwise 'defective' in some way as well as generally sterile) and need to mate with humans or wolves to have a shot at having actually viable Garou offspring, and there's at least anecdotal evidence that favoring one branch of the 'family' too much over the other actually is detrimental to a bloodline in the long run. (Replacing "wolves" with the relevant animal type, the same holds true for the other kinds of weres in the game as well.)
Of course, being shapeshifters, it's rather debateable whether screwing a wolf when you yourself are for all intents a wolf as well (albeit with human intelligence) should be considered bestiality. The Black Spiral Dancers on the other hand side, often don't care about their partner's shape. Or consent, for that matter...
Edward Albee's The Goat or Who Is Sylvia.
The Dauphin in Shakespeare's Henry V is rather disconcertingly fond of his horse:
Dauphin: I once writ a sonnet in his praise and began thus: "Wonder of nature —" Constable: I have heard a sonnet begin so to one's mistress. Dauphin: Then did they imitate that which I composed to my courser, for my horse is my mistress.
The dialogue continues in this vein for quite a while.
In Rimers of Eldritch, Skelly Manor first appears onstage with local boys baaing at him. Nothing explicit is stated and nothing is ever proven. It's used more to demonstrate Skelly's isolation from the town and how rumors move through it.
Played for tragedy in Our Breath is as Light as a Hummingbird's Spine, since there's no way to have sex with a bird. However, the main character does glue feathers and a beak onto a sex toy. (Decide for yourself whether that's Squick, unintentionally funny, or just as pathetic as it's supposed to be.)
The play Equus by Peter Schaffer concerns a young stablehand's issues with being virtually incapable to distinguish between affection for horses and sexual attraction, thanks to a screwed-up childhood. It being a drama piece, it's also pretty disturbing.
In Rock of Ages, Dennis Du Pree uses this trope to convince Stacee Jaxx to play at his bar.
Dennis: Remember the time we fucked that llama?
Rochelle Owens' 1967 play Futz was about a farmboy who loved his pig.
In Rome: Total War, if your general is constantly out on campaign, his retinue may eventually include a Pet Sheep.
"Being away from home and loved ones... can be a lonely life."
In No One Lives Forever, when advancing through the corridors of the Big Bad's base, you hear a man whispering love words to someone, something like: "Now we are all alone..." Then you open a door and find that man alone with a goat. The man says: "Oh, hi...um, how did this goat got in here?" You have the option of shooting them both.
Also, you find references to H.A.R.M. goons and their, ahem, “recreation” with sheep throughout the game.
From Fallout: New Vegas, you got Cook-cook, one of the fiends leaders. Flamethrower wielding pyromaniac, psychotic, rapist, goes berserk when you kill Queenee, his Brahmin. It's not stated outright, but heavily implied he screwed it.
In Arcanum, you can visit a brothel. Turn down the offer for a girl a few times, you get two. Turn that one down, you get... a sheep.
In Overlord, at one point you and your minions bust into the headquarters of a succubus-worshiping sex cult. Bust down one of the locked doors in the headquarters, and you'll find several cultists and a sheep.
In Black & White, at one point you're asked to get specific supplies to help a troupe of very poor singers finish building their boat (specifically, wood and food). However, you can also drop off various other things, including a sheep. This elicits the response "Ah, a sheep! Sheep have many uses... and the voyage is long...".
Ironically, if you drop off a woman, the response is much less enthusiasticnote They were likely trying to keep in theme with the time period and its superstitions, which included the idea that having a woman on board a ship being bad luck.
In the video game of Monty Python's The Meaning of Life, there's a part where clicking on something brings up "goat porn", and then Eric Idle starts yelling about, "Hey, everyone, look here right now! This guy likes goats!"
Dragon Age: Origins has a brothel, the Pearl, where you can sleep with anything, anything. When the Madam is told to "Surprise Me", one of the random options has you waking up in a daze with a goat that looks at you funny.
In both the preceding and Dragon Age II, a "Surprise Me" may end with two nugs (some kind of rabbit/pig hybrid) that "avoid eye contact, trying to look busy".
Gothic has the annoying Mud, who follows you everywhere while telling annoying stories about himself. Among other things, he mentions that he was thrown in the prison colony for "liking animals too much".
One of the ways in which you can taunt the warrior Kharim is suggesting that his father was having "fun" with sheep. Kharim's reply is an embarrassed "well, there were rumors..."
One of the random conversations that NPCs can have in The Darkness is one NPC asking if he gave a moose a million dollars to have sex with him, would it work?
Guy 1: If I gave a moose a million dollars would it have sex with me? Guy 2: Well it would have to some sort of genetically engineered smart moose for it to work. Guy 1: Where could I find such a moose? Guy 2: Sweden is open about sexuality so they probably allow bestiality as well. Guy 1: Heh-heh...naughty Swedish mooses...
In an actual canon example; the night elves' goddess, Elune, who by all official accounts looks like a big glowing night elf woman, had an affair with the demigod Malorne, whose only known form was that of a giant (read, two hundred feet tall) stag. This resulted in the birth of Cenarius, who looked like a centaur with a night elf upper body and a stag lower body. Being that these are deities, this is justified; just look at the mythology examples above.
Red Dead Redemption is fond of this: a stranger mission (entitled "Who Are You To Judge?") involves returning a horse to its very affectionate owner, who has named the horse 'Lucy' and refers to her as his "girl". The horse thief who accompanies you on said mission comments that her "daddy kept goats". And lastly there's an advertisement in the newspaper for a publication called Sexing Livestock Quarterly. It sure is lonely out west...
Lets insert another Rockstar game here: Grand Theft Auto has this too. From the set of a porn flick: "Careful! The snake was more expensive than you!"
In Tony Hawk's Underground, a police officer in Tampa, Florida pulls over your van for a busted tail light, expired license plate, and a "Cops push Mongo" bumper sticker, and your van gets impounded. While roaming the city later, you can find the same officer hiding behind a strip club standing behind a goat...
Jagged Alliance 2 features the appropriately-named Hicks clan, an entire huge extended family of armed-to-the-teeth Corrupt Hicks. Talking to them hints at their pastimes. One is terrorizing the local city, the other is cow tipping...
Hick NPC: ...but what you don't hear is what you can do with the cows afterward.
Same game, same category, there's a rumor apparently backed by Hint of God that N Harmonia is the human son of a Pokemon. Said character is known to have a human father, therefore... Almost certainly subverted in Black & White 2 when N mentions that he was raised by Pokemon as a young child and strongly implies that Ghetsis kidnapped him.
Made even weirder by the fact that the #1 suspect for his Pokemon parent, Zoroark, does not belong to the Human-like egg group (despite being bipedal).
Distinctly subverted in the Pokémon Diamond and Pearl installments, where one of the mythology/fairy tale books in the Canalave Library says that man and 'mon were once equal partners, with no difference between them. The English translation says they "ate at one table"; the Japanese version outright says they intermarried.
In Pokémon Colosseum, an NPC in Agate Village outright tells you that her boyfriend is a Mightyena. It doesn't help that she happens to be an old woman.
Sora: Where do mermaids come from? Ariel: Well, when a man loves a dolphin more than society says he should...
In addition, Larxene got a fortune blunt from Yuffie's Chinese restaurant which said "Small animals will bring you great happiness" and promptly added "... in bed!" Possibly not a genuine example, since adding "... in bed" to fortune cookie fortunes is a fairly well-known game, but...
There's a running gag in Brathalla that Tyr's proclamations of loving animals to be taken as an admittance that he's a zoophile, to where Fenrir asked him not to get too close.
In DM of the Rings, the DM/Tolkien explains how the Rohirrim are such excellent riders. The players paraphrase it as "The guys with unnaturally close relations with their horses". Cue Gimli rolling a natural 1 on his diplomacy check...
Even the Furry Fandom gets in on this gag sometimes. Background information for Concession mentions that the Church of Gaia is looked down upon somewhat in-universe for its advocation of sex between furries and non-anthropomorphic animals. Artie's doctor is briefly mentioned to have a fetish for sharks, and after the incident with Chelsie Artie claims Joel has no right to judge him because of "that time you woke up with that feral dog".
In Scandinavia and the World, when discussing past crimes countries have been accused of, it's discovered that Sweden was arrested for zoophilia. In his defense, he was young, horny and it was a really cute horse.
Wales is in a relationship with New Zealand...who is a sheep. Somehow, they even have a child together, New South Wales. Norway's brain broke when he realized that. (For the record, NSW is a talking lamb.)
In that same comic, Denmark expressed interest in banging a sheep too. In HIS defense, he was drunk.
Yes, but still, it IS Denmark we're talking about here.
In Keychain of Creation, building on the Exalted example above, Marena, an Anything That Moves fox-totem Lunar, is quizzed by renegade Deathknight Secret on how many people she's had sex with. Her response ends with the memorable line, "Define people."
Hank of Indefensible Positions named his horse Uni, but states that it's not short for Unicorn. "See, a unicorn is a horse with a magical horn. When I got to know this pony, I named her Unicu-" Fortunately, he's interrupted before he can finish, but he later makes a philosophical point by describing what it's like to have sex with a horse.
The now-wife of webcomic artist David Hopkins, creator of Jack, was allegedly stalked and severely harassed by a creepy ex-boyfriend who had boasted repeatedly to her of his ... misadventures ... involving the blowholes of beached dolphins. They had such problems with him they took out their frustrations by putting an Expy of him in the comic, condemned by Hell to be raped and otherwise assaulted by dolphins for eternity, and setting the language filter on the comic's forum to translate every instance of his first name to "Dolphinfucker".
Referenced when the Oracle predicts his next death at the hands of a druid client and asks his friends to be ready with a Resurrection spell "when I tell him yes, his wife is cheating on him, and the other man is his animal companion. Turns out giving enhanced intelligence to a critter who is literally hung like a bear doesn't always work out the way you'd think."
Elan needs an excuse to leave the room:
Elan: Uh, dad? Haley and I need to go have sex. Haley: Come on, V. And bring the cat, just in case. Tarquin: ...Huh.
Florence and Winston's relationship in Freefallisn't exactly this, but it's referenced in these terms a few times (most obviously when Winston remarks that it's inappropriate for a doctor to get involved with his patients, but even less appropriate for a veterinarian to do so). Given who the more proactive party is, it is also treated as something else.
Katerina of Gunnerkrigg Court develops a mutual attraction with a boy named Alistair who is visiting the Court for a week. To make a long story short, he gets permanently turned into a bird at the end of that week. Now, this in itself is innocent enough; after all, she fell in love with Alistair while he was still human, and she didn't know anything about him turning into a bird until right when he was about to leave. But immediately after this whole arc, Katerina is later shown sharing with Antimony a picture of a "cute boy" — in an ornithological journal. She also seems to have an implied bird fetish in later strips.
Victoria of The Twilight Chronicles is heavily hinted to have slept with Jacob's dog. It's more or less confirmed a few episodes later when Carlisle mentions that he left Mexico because Victoria wanted to bring dogs into their sex life.
Amaranth in Tales of MU is bound by her nature to have sex with intelligent beings who want it. She sends her goddess burnt offerings of reports on animal cognition in the hopes of having the definition expanded.
Possibly deconstructed by the short web series, There she is!!; the manner of revulsion from the public caused by a relationship between a rabbit and a cat seems to be portrayed somewhere between Fantastic Racism and straight up bestiality. Especially deconstructed because the rationale behind such an extreme hatred is completely lost on the viewer.
If one can read their site (They're Korean), this is intentional.
Skippy's List Of Things Not To Do In The US Army involves this at some level.
In The Nostalgia Critic review of Signs, Doug dubs the voices of the aliens when he wonders what they could possibly be saying during their time of their attack. After one tries to break down a door and fails, after being insulted the alien calls the other alien a "slug fucker".
Another account recalls a rather inebriated half-naked man being treated for a crotch filled with porcupine quills. The patient was unable to state exactly what happened due to drunkenness and pain, but it is not hard to guess.
this one involves a guy reportedly attempting sex with a raccoon, which mangled the offending parts. It's probably an urban legend though.
Apparently, one of Turles's men in the Christmas Tree of Might special of Dragon Ball Z Abridged raped Rudolph.
Played to comedic effect in the DC Universe-based online role-plays of JLA_Watchtower and DC Nation. The characters are taking the 5,000-question online "purity test," and Gar Logan's girlfriend (an OC who is an animal-based shape-shifter like he is) quips, "Honey, just how DO we answer those bestiality questions?"
And there was one where they visit Mexico, cheering at the sights. One of these is a donkey show.
And of course, Mr. Garrison, who's had sex with (at minimum) a pigeon and a pig.
Lets not get into their depiction of PETA...
Terrance: You're such a pig-fucker, Phillip! Phillip: Terrance, why would you call me a pig-fucker? Terrance: Well, let's see. First of all, you fuck pigs. Phillip: (Beat)...oh yeah!
Implied with Chef. He's looking through a book of photos of him and the many women he's made love to. When Cartman points to a picture of him naked with a goat and asks what he was doing he says it's nothing.
Several episodes and The Movie reference or portray zoophilia for comic effect.
In a strange variation, Cartman attempts to train a pony to bite Scott Tenorman's penis off. He builds an effigy of his enemy, and attaches a hotdog to represent the pe—well, you can picture it. Cartman is dismayed when, instead of biting the hotdog, the horse fellates it. It becomes a Funny Background Event while Cartman has a conversation with Jimbo and Ned.
Back when Peter first became a fisherman, him and the guys play a game of "I Never", in which you had to take a shot if you ever did anything that any of the others said they never did. Quagmire ends up getting wasted more and more with each shot. One of them involved giving a monkey a reach-around.
Quagmire also apparently got it on with a turtle once, during a Cut Away Gag that has Quagmire sticking his head out of a turtle shell to see if there was something going on. The turtle asks if something's wrong, but Quagmire dismisses it and retreats back inside.
Peter has also learned what the blowhole is NOT for, which is why he can never visit Sea World again.
In a later season, Peter thinks one of the Amish's horses are sexy.
Those weren't Brian's puppies after all. Seabreeze, you're a whore.
Oddly, they never tackled the inversion of Brian and his human girlfriends... until Brian traveled to an alternate universe where humans' and dogs' roles were reversed. Then his desire for human women became Squick.
Early: You wanna bang y'allself a goat? 'Cause the goat's dead, but, uh, we c'n still do this thang. Hell, I'll give you boys a discount!
The main characters are a family of squids. By definition any sex they have is either this or incest.
Early's cousin is a "civilized" squid from the city who has a wife and two kids (The wife and daughter are human. The son is... Cthuluian.) They end up tricking Rusty to go live with them after seeing how horrible his life is. His wife later seduces Rusty. They get caught in the act, but it's implied that he did her at least once before.
A later season has a two parter involving Rusty getting his human cousin pregnant and choosing to be there for her as a father.
Another skit involved a human fangirl wanting to have sex with Alvin, much to the disgust of everyone else. When they are alone, she was offput by his scent (which she described as gamy) and his retractable genetalia. Subverted at the end when Theodore and Simon have sex with the fangirl's previously-disgusted friends.
When asked how she became so great at sex, Pam ascribes it to growing up on a dairy farm.
Dr. Krieger seems to have a similar relationship as Malory to Piggly 3.
Futurama: "You'd sacrifice a beautiful woman to save a moderately attractive monkey?!"
In one episode of Gravity Falls, we learn it is legal to marry a woodpecker thanks to the town's eccentric founder.
The Tex Avery Show often approaches this dangerously close (like one of the cromagnons marrying a dino, or other gags in this vein - obviously, not even remotely actual sex, it's a kids show after all...).
On the other hand, the Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini's tome Tahrir al-Wasilah has strict chapters on what kind of sex is allowed with animals and what not, and when the protagonist becomes impure for the rest of the day and when not. He also suggests the animal must be slaughtered after the act, and her meat to be sold to infidels.
Seemingly averted in a case from Zimbabwe: a woman's husband forced her to have sex with a snake after her scream from noticing it woke him up. Neither the husband nor people involved in the trial seemed to care about the unusual copulation; the latter group was more concerned that he would force her to.
T Shirt Hell has advertised on this very site, a shirt which states, "Remember, Baah means no."
A quote from "Dave Barry in Cyberspace": "The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in, 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire,' and the computer will say, 'Specify breed of goat.'"
A recent article in a Brazilian magazine analyzing gay rights compared gay marriage to a relationship with a goat, saying both are unconventional. Rage and Hilarity Ensues (such as people flooding the magazine's page on Facebook with citations to goats and "baaaa", and unrelated ones writing "* is in a serious relationship with a goat").
Some adult novelty stores carry inflatable sheep with a belt to be worn from the waist. "Great for bachelor parties!"