- Wheel of Fortune: Then-host Chuck Woolery once uttered this line after a mid-show plug by Charlie O'Donnell during a 1978 episode. Since existing copies of the program have the plug edited out, it's not clear what led Woolery to make the comment.
- In 3rd Rock from the Sun
Man: [to Dick] You look capable of violence!
Dick: [raising a chair] I'll show you who's capable of violence!!!
- Corner Gas:
Brent: [After Oscar tells Emma that Brent is "turning the gas station into a movie theater"] Bearing in mind Dad does have a tendency to overstate things.
Oscar: I've never overstated anything in the entire history of the planet!
- The Britcom Not Going Out has this:
Tim : (reading a question from a personality quiz) Are you the kind of person who jumps into decisions without properly considering all the available options?
Lee: (firmly) No.
Tim: Hang on, it's multiple choice.
- Subverted in the first sketch with Gustavo the Euro Guy on Late Night with Conan O'Brien. Gustavo complains that Americans are too violent and promptly gets punched out. When Conan points out this proves his point, the guy who punched him out replies "No worries, mate - I'm Australian!"
- In the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version of Werewolf:
Yuri: You callin' me a psychopath?
Crow (as Yuri): I'll kill your whole family if you call me that again!
(Yuri attacks Paul, the guy who called him a psychopath)
Mike (as Paul): I'm sorry, clearly you're not a psychopath; my mistake.
- Mr. Roper of Three's Company: "I'm not paranoid! Why is everybody against me?"
- The Mary Tyler Moore Show - Ted Baxter wants to serve as Grand Marshal in a circus parade, but Lou Grant won't let him:
Ted: He treats me like a little child, Mary. He bosses me around as though I were ten years old.
Mary: Ted, that isn't true. He may boss you around but he doesn't think you're a kid. He respects you as a mature adult.
Ted: (whining) Then why won't he let me go to the circus?!!
- Non-verbal example from The Muppet Show. In the lead-up to a sketch involving Horny Vikings, Kermit describes them as "cruel, heartless, Scandinavian Marauders". The Swedish Chef comes up and hits him with a frying pan, which "persuades" Kermit to alter his description to "quaint, old world charmers".
- In Coupling, though he only proved half the remark,
Patrick: What Kind of illness was I supposed to have?
Sally: I don't know. Whatever it is that connects a limp dick with a limp brain!
Patrick: There is no connection between my dick and my brain!
- From Arrested Development:
Lindsay: I'm a "combative, entitled princess?" I'm going to hire someone to kick your ass for that!
Michael: I just haven’t met anybody who’s not completely self-absorbed and impossible to have a conversation with.
Lucille: If that’s a veiled criticism about me, I won’t hear it and I won’t respond to it.
Niles: Don't you DARE call me irrational! You know that makes me crazy!
- In "Look Before You Leap," Daphne protests the accusation that she's whiny with a high-pitched "I don't whiiine!"
- From one of Marcus Brigstocke's stand-up comedy routines:
"Computer games don't affect kids. If Pacman
had affected us as kids we'd be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive music."
- After Joey gets offended that Monica and Chandler didn't ask him for a character reference letter:
Sorry Joe, we didn't think you were so much... with the words
Joey: Wha-huh? Hey! Whoa, I'mean, tchhh!
- In another episode:
Joey: He made Rachel cry!
Monica: Rachel always cries!
Rachel: That's not true! (Starts to cry.)
Frasier: So now you're saying that I'm redundant, that I repeat myself, that I say things over and over again!
- Norm claims that a chimp could perform Cliff's job of delivering mail. Cliff is highly offended, and refers to a University of Michigan study that found that chimps are 32% slower.
Sally: You are an ass!
Elliot: Todd, face it. You're gay, and overcompensating for it.
Carla: "Are you familiar with the term 'delusions of grandeur'?"
"I believe I coined that term. Look, I'm a simple unassuming janitor who can control people's actions with his mind."
Jake: "Everyone around here is crazy."
"That's not true. Let me put down my bag of rats
, and explain something to you."
- Later in the episode: A patient's brother calls the hospital a "hellhole", to which Dr Kelso replies he ensures the hospital is up to the highest standards and codes. A second later, a bunch of rats run by, chased by the janitor.
Kelso: "Well that's just bad timing."
- J.D. gets plenty of these via his internal narration, even though only the audience hears it. One of many examples:
Molly: "Dr. Cox is a text-book closed-off alpha male. I mean, you can try forever, but you're never gonna get that hug that you really want."
J.D.: "Uh, excuse me, I'm not a child. I'm a doctor." [thinking] "And I'll get that hug!"
- Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
Giles: Um, Anya, while, while I completely trust you uh, uh, to take care of the inventory and the money, um ... dealing with people requires a certain, uh ... finesse.
I have finesse! I have finesse coming out of my bottom
! I can completely lie to the health inspector. I can, you know, distract him with coy smiles, and, and bribe him with money and goods.
- Done seriously on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit when Eliot's son Dicky was caught using the Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique on a man he suspected was responsible for the disappearance of his friend. Afterward his father took him into the station and complained about him doing that. When Richard responded that he was not the first member of his family to act like that Eliot attacks his son in the middle of the squad room, both proving Richard's point and showing why he got the Fan Nickname Unstabler
- Kelly from Misfits is repeatedly accused of being a Chav note and she eventually responds to this by screaming at another girl: "If you call me that one more time I'll kick you so hard in the c* nt your mum will feel it!"
- Also, when Nathan's father calls him a "wanker", Nathan responds by being snarky and rude, and then blithely attacking someone with a stapler (although many viewers considered this a Crowning Moment of Funny, he was kind of proving his father's point).
- Common in Monty Python's Flying Circus letters from viewers:
"Dear Sir, I am writing to complain about that last sketch about people falling out of high buildings. I myself have worked all my life in such a building, and have never once—WHAAAAAAAA!!!"
"I would put a tax on all people who stand in water!"
"Dear Sir, I object strongly to the letters on your programme. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely etc., William Knickers."
"Dear Sir, I am glad to hear that your studio audience disapproves of the last skit as strongly as I. As a naval officer I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for cannibalism. It is well known that we have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area."
"Many of my best friends are lumberjacks, and only a few of them are transvestites."
- In the Star Trek: The Original Series episode "The Corbomite Maneuver", Kirk berates McCoy for not telling him about an alert. After the former leaves the latter alone, McCoy says "If I jumped every time a light came on around here, I'd end up talking to myself."
- In Will and Grace, any time someone would throw an insult toward Karen, she would respond this way. One time, when Grace accused her of being racist, she responded: "I may be a lot of things. A homophobe? Sure. Distrustful of Spaniards? Who isn't? But I am not a racist."
- M*A*S*H has an example intentionally invoked by Hawkeye and BJ.
Charles: Actually, gentlemen, I'm not altogether unaffected by this arctic blast, but I refuse to huddle around a fire like you two cringing pack wolves.
Hawkeye: Pack wolves? I've never been so insulted in my life!
Hawkeye and BJ: *Growling and barking noises at Charles*
Kid Sam is beating up: I'm sorry!
Sam: Sorry for what?
Kid: For saying you're aggressive!
- Married... with Children: When Marcy asked Steve why Al calls her a chicken, her stance did resemble a chicken's.
- Right after Community's Jeff Winger denies that he's inconsiderate:
Jeff: I didn't sneeze.
Britta: Jeff, you are a textbook narcissist.
- Meta example, many Current Affairs shows satirized by The Chaser's War on Everything aired 'responses' to the criticism... which ended up proving all the Chaser team's criticisms completley right.
- Played with in House:
Cuddy: Are you being intentionally dense?
House: (making a stupid face) Huh?
Cuddy:...and a disturbingly large proportion of your comments are racist or sexist.
House: That top makes you look like an Afghani prostitute...would be an example of that.
- In one episode of The Pretender, Jarod punishes a psychiatrist at a mental institution, ending with taking said psychiatrist to another institution, claiming he tried to kill himself. This is followed by the psychiatrist in question ranting and raving about not being crazy.
- Frank on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia introduces an employee ranking system:
Mac: Third?! Why am I third??
Frank: Too volatile.
Mac: BULLSHIT! THAT IS BULLSHIT!!
- How I Met Your Mother, when Lily and Robin are accusing Ted of being the "dad" of the group:
Lily: Ted, you may be single and childless, but you're totally a dorky dad.
Ted: I don't think I like your tone, young lady.
- In The Big Bang Theory, Sheldon denies resembling C-3PO while making jerky, robotic head movements. A more famous example from the same show would be Sheldon's line, "I'm not crazy; my mom had me tested."
- Horrible Histories, on the gunpowder plot:
Guy Fawkes: So we're going to blow up King James and his entire family at the state opening of parliament?
John Wright: That's right.
Wright: Because you're a Catholic and I'm a Catholic, and the king hates Catholics! He seems to think we're always plotting something.
- One episode of Psych gives us this line:
Shawn: "Just because I take Gus's giant dinosaur head down to a dead body does not make me a nut-job!"
- Blackadder Goes Forth, in General Hospital:
George: I have not got any uncles like that! Anyway, he lives in Walton-on-the-Naze.
- The Closer: In "Elysian Fields", Provenza complains when Detective Olin is brought in to advise on a case.
Provenza: "He wrote me up for using bad language, which is bullshit!"
- Mr. Young:
Ivy: We're dealing with someone who's old, confused, and can't remember anything!
Mrs. Byrne: I heard that! I don't know what it meant and now I can't remember what it was, but I heard it!
- On The West Wing, career woman C. J. Cregg is accused of "pursuing a radical homosexual agenda", apparently on no more evidence than that she excelled at basketball in college. Her colleagues sarcastically leave a gift-wrapped basketball on her desk. She brushes off the rumors as ridiculous and then casually dumps it in the trash bin across the room without even aiming.
- The Doctor Who Series 8 episode "Deep Breath" has this gem:
Clara: Hang on. Egomaniac, needy game-player? You were talking about me?
The Doctor: Clara, what is happening right now, in this restaurant, to you and me, is more important than your egomania.
Clara: Nothing is more important than my egomania!!
- A Selfie episode has Charmonique's son start playing K-pop when Henry comes in. Henry immediately takes offense to the boy assuming that all Koreans must like K-pop... before breaking out into dance.
- From a Parks and Recreation deleted scene in which Leslie is trying to avoid having to break up with Ben:
Ann: Leslie, you're just stalling now.
Leslie: No I'm not! Just give me 236 reasons why you think that.