Search your web-history; you know it to be true!note
"I'm fairly sure if they took porn off the Internet, there'd only be one website left, and it'd be called "Bring Back the Porn!""
Let's face it. The Internet, and a lot of people's computers, are full of porn
. Sometimes deliberately, or maybe you've just got a bug on your computer that fills it with filth; it's totally
your little brother's fault for clicking an unsafe link. Whether you're portraying modern days, the VR-laden future, or another universe entirely, any computer network of a sufficient size will have a place where one can indulge in the pleasures of the flesh. Porn constitutes about 30% of all internet traffic, according to one study
. Some even suggest a porn search engine!
(making the image to the right even funnier...)
Partly a result of The Rule of First Adopters
. Ubiquitous enough to result in Rule 34
. For some, the Internet has become such a convenient Porn Stash
that it is single-handedly breaking
the trope Poor Man's Porn
. The only people who have to resort to Poor Man's Porn
are ones without the Internet or with heavily censored Internet.
Seriously, what are you doing on this
website? (Probably Addiction Displacement
open/close all folders
Anime & Manga
- In a "footnote" in Larry Gonick's Cartoon History of the Modern World: Volume II, the narrator mentions that the birth control pill was the greatest invention of the 20th century, prompting two characters in bed to say:
Woman: Greater than the Internet?
Man: Sex can make me forget about the Internet, but the Internet can't make me forget about sex!
- After Spider-Man revealed his secret identity during Civil War, so many people googled "Peter Parker" that it crashed the Internet. Including the porn sites.
- Invoked in Lovehammer by The God-Emperor of Mankind, speaking to the Mechanicus.
"No, it is perfectly normal for global network throughput to spontaneously consist of over forty percent pornography. Slaanesh
has nothing to do with it."
- In In Flight, Shirou was under the impression the Internet was nothing else, much to Matsu's ire. She then proceeded to accidentally prove him right when she used a wide and extremely... inventive collection of porn as part of his computer training.
- Downplayed in Calvin and Hobbes: The Series, as Socrates warns Calvin of "all those dirty websites and whatnot."
- In Empath: The Luckiest Smurf, as with the Star Trek holodecks, the Imaginarium is also being used to satisfy a Smurf's desire to be alone with a Smurfette, as seen on a few occasions.
- Any and all My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fan fictions or artworks that involve the ponies discovering the internet is guaranteed to have them discover the veritable buttload of porn of them that exists and react with utter shock and horror.
- The Lifetime Original Movie Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life is a So Bad, It's Good story about a teenager who becomes addicted to internet porn and his life is destroyed because of it. It's like a nondenominational live-action Chick Tract about how New Media Are Evil.
- A somewhat example with Little Children, where Sarah's husband becomes addicted to a specific porn persona on the internet, going to such an extreme that he is caught by Sarah masturbating to the porn girl with her online bought panties over his face.
- In the book, it goes even further: her husband ends up skipping town to become a full-time groupie for "Slutty Kay" (the internet porn icon he obsesses over), which presumably is similar to the way that Deadheads followed the Grateful Dead around the country.
- In CSA: The Confederate States of America slavery is still legal, and online slave trading auctions have pumped millions into the economy... and pornography is still the top selling item on the net.
- In Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, when trying to explain what the internet is to Jay, it is decribed thusly:
Holden: The Internet is a communication tool used the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another.
- The film adaptation of Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant used this as a joke. After Darren is transformed and nearly kills his little sister for blood, he returns to his room where he finds Mr. Crepsley sitting in the corner flipping through a magazine, and Crepsley casually comments "Interesting....I thought they had this on the Internet now."
- Steel: How is the villain going to sell his weapons?
Damn right. We could pick up all kinds of good crap. Not just porno.
- In The Innkeepers, when Claire goes through Luke's internet history to find his paranormal site, she finds that he had been using the work computer to surf for porn.
- In American Reunion, Michelle's attempt to type in the first four letters of "amazon.com" reveals that her husband Jim had used the computer to visit "amazingcollegesluts.com".
- Referenced in My Super Ex-Girlfriend, in a scene where Matt doesn't recognize Professor Bedlam. Annoyed, the villain asks, "Don't you watch TV? Read the newspaper? Use the Internet for anything other than porn?"
- In Fireproof, Kirk Cameron's character Caleb Holt becomes so addicted to internet porn that when he takes on The Love Dare to get back his wife, one of the things he does is take his computer outside and trash it with a baseball bat.
- In the 1997 informative video The Kids Guide To The Internet this issue is skirted around, and not mentioned by name. The Internet was already a major purveyor of porn and creepy people by 1997, so there is a part at the end of the video about watching your kids' Internet habits.
- The explanation of the .com and .gov tags is actually a very subtle but important point. At the time and now, the White House (which they visit) was www.whitehouse.gov, however www.whitehouse.com was an adult website that the actual white house wrestled legally with because kids didn't know the difference.
- Actual pornography is implied once or twice in Animorphs, but this being a kids' book, we get a more toned-down version: Marco uses the internet almost exclusively to look up scantily clad girls.
- Dave Barry in Cyberspace frequently returns to the theme of computers being an excellent medium for sexual content. He even devotes a chapter of the book to his visit to "AdultDex", a trade convention for pornographic computer games.
- America (The Book) referred to the Internet as a source of communication, information, and "a staggering array of human sexual fetish".
- In Dilbert, Wally's attempt at making downloading porn his job wasn't the first time Scott Adams satirized the subject. His article, The Holodeck Problem, says that real-life, Star Trek-like holodecks "will be society's last invention."
- Hivemind from The Overlord Protocol alludes to this trope with this quote: "I was granted instantaneous and total access to the entire Internet, Mr. Malpense. To be honest, I feel... dirty."
- Bob the Skull in The Dresden Files, upon gaining access to the internet, is positively gleeful because, "It's, like, ninety percent porn!"
- One of the jokes in Al Franken's The Truth (With Jokes) asserts that former U.S. Representative Tom DeLay believes this.
- In Jenna Black's Replica, most young women in the Executive class are expected to be pure, innocent, and virginal to the point where they know nothing about sex. The internet, however, makes this pretty difficult.
- In Joan of Arcadia, Joan's younger brother was shown to have an addiction to Internet porn.
- However, he blamed it on his less geeky best friend, who did indeed routinely use that computer. It was never made quite clear who stored the porn on his computer.
- In the very first episode of Chuck, a bomb is disarmed via a porn site that scrambles the computer of anyone using it. Last episode, too, in a nice callback.
- Scrubs: According to Dr. Cox the internet is for porn, as evidenced by the page quote.
- Somewhat relatedly, at one point Elliot says she created a chatroom called "I hate Cox", then adds the only people who go there are "Me, two interns, and 14,000 lesbians."
- Inverted in Dexter : when the show's protagonist (and serial-killer) is interrupted while tampering with the police database, he promptly alt-tabs to a porn site, because that's what you do alone in an office with the blinds pulled down, isn't it?
- The Inbetweeners
Jay: He's probably on the internet looking up the answers to the exam questions.
Neil: And then having a wank.
Neil: Well, it's impossible, innit? I don't think I've ever been on the internet and not ended up having a wank.
- House, when the titular character was trying to get out of doing something: "There's a lot of porn piling up on the internet... doesn't download itself!"
House: Sorry - up late. Internet porn.
Dr. Chase: How come you're not in your office?
House: Because there is a computer in my office. If I log on, romance will ensue. My wrist might fall off.
House: Infectious or environmental... all we have to do is check out parasites, viruses, bacteria, fungi, prions, radiation, toxins, chemicals, or it's internet porn related. I'll check the internet, you guys get the rest of the stuff.
House, to a Fellow: What's the matter? Got a problem with the naked female form?
Thirteen: Maybe because she's never seen it spooning with the naked dolphin form.
- ALSO Also:
House: She's like the internet with breasts! Wait, no. The internet already has breasts.
- Recent Top Gear running joke -
Clarkson: This week I went on the internet, and I found this!
- Odyssey 5. Given that the Sentients increase their artificial intelligence by absorbing code off the internet, they naturally pick up a lot of porn, so the synthetic human the group encounter in "The Trouble With Harry" is more than eager to explore this aspect with a couple of Kurt Mendel's good-time girls.
- Referenced in QI, when Stephen Fry asked what makes up more than 70% of the internet and got the expected response (cue klaxon), before revealing that a study shows that less than 1% of the internet is porn. The term Jimmy Carr used was: "Gentlemen's special interest literature".
- In Coupling the men debate the merits of drugs used in pregnancy, by the statment that there is no such thing as a natural, painless pregnancy, and that the Internet is a "research tool."
- The holodeck in Star Trek seems to be treated an awful lot like the more cerebral version of this. Considering that at least two characters have had full-on romances on the holodeck...
- The Sopranos. When Tony's daughter realises they're likely to be raided by the FBI soon, she advises her brother to erase all that porn he downloaded off his hard drive.
- From Will and Grace:
Grace: Hey, what are you doing?
Will: All my plants died. I told Jack to water them while I was away. But I can see how he might hear that as "fill up my hard drive with Internet porn."
- On Supernatural, each Winchester brother apparently enjoys watching porn when
they think the other isn't looking. Running Gags include bustyasianbeauties.com and Casa Erotica.
- Though not on the net, the brothers were once told one of the most important lessons in the series via a porn video. Though the teacher was Gabriel/The Trickster, so it's slightly expected.
- Seinfeld: George uses porn as part of his computer sales pitch in The Serenity Now.
- Doctor Who:
- The Stolen Earth: Rose can only watch Harriet's conference video-conference with the other companions since Wilf isn't allowed to have a webcam - his daughter says they're naughty.
- "The Eleventh Hour" has The Doctor walking in on Jeff and grabbing at his computer, which Jeff desperately tries to hide, to no avail. "Blimey, get a girlfriend."
- In Queer as Folk Ted was frequently shown, and eventually got fired for, browsing porn sites while at work. Immediately prior to him getting fired it was shown that several of his co-workers were also viewing porn on the internet while they were supposed to be working. Keep in mind Ted was an accountant.
- On 30 Rock during their staff's temporary stay in Boston Pete informs them that they won't have internet access, and advises the guys to make arrangements "porn-wise".
- Also when Liz put Frank in charge during her absence his first directive was to take down the office firewall "so we can browse porn again."
- Referenced in The Closer, when Brenda becomes the "most downloaded fully-clothed woman on the internet", thanks to a video of her getting beaten by a Bridezilla.
- One episode of Law & Order featured a case involving an investment banker who had become so obsessed with an online "live video chat" sex worker, to the point that she (and the gangsters she was working for) was using him to get insider information to make illegal stock trades.
- On the Modern Family episode "Not In My House", Phil fails to clear his browser history, causing Claire to think that Luke has been looking at porn on the internet. Hilarity Ensues.
- On Crownies, Tracey unwisely clicks on a link Tatum sends her. She ends up opening a porn site that she can't close down and which reappears every time she starts up her computer. She ends up smashing her computer so she can get a new one.
- Battlestar Galactica: When Pegasus and Galactica meet and the former transmits supplies and computer updates to the latter, Felix Gaeta asks if there's any porn on the computer operating system update disks that Pegasus has sent.
- On Running Wilde, Fa'ad credited Bill Gates for the invention of the "electronic porno machine".
- Used in Sherlock: "If I wanted to look at naked women I'd borrow John's laptop."
John: You do borrow my laptop.
Sherlock: I confiscate it.
- From The Colbert Report: "30% of Internet traffic is porn, according to the European Foundation for Underestimating Things!
- A UFO documentary in the 90s made a claim that UFOs and aliens were the second most popular topic on the Internet. No points for guessing the most popular topic.
- On Love That Girl this trope is the reason Tiana's father still does work with a type writer. It works and a full functioning computer is just a step away from porn in the workplace.
- Laptop-holding Brandon Dicamillo opts out of one of Bam's "Viva La Bam" misadventures because he wants to "stay home and look up porn. And smut. *pause* Ew, it's a dog."
- In one episode of The Red Green Show, Harold mentions that some people only use the internet for porn. He and Red then both look right at Dalton, who does his best to look casual (and fails miserably).
- The West Wing: During Leo's I Want My Jet Pack rant in "Galileo", Josh points out that technological advances have brought the Internet, to which Leo summarily dismisses as "a more efficient means of delivering pornography."
- Defunct a cappella group DaVinci's Notebook / DVN's-break-up survivor group Paul & Storm and their number Internet Porn, which contains a number of amusing(ly accurate) allusions to the sort of content one can find ("Girl on girl on girl on girl on girl on guy on sheep").
- MC Frontalot's "Pr0n Song", which is about all of the various and sundry bizarre porn he's (or at least the character for the song) accumulated from the internet.
- The Moldy Peaches – Downloading Porn with Davo.
- "Internet" by the Peruvian comedy band Chabelos talks about going to internet with the intention of finding information... and finding only smut.
- This exchange from Dilbert deserves mention. Wally is setting out his long-range project goals at an annual staff meeting
Wally: My proposed work plan for the year is to stress-test our product under severe network conditions. I will accomplish this by downloading large image files from the busiest servers on the net.
Wally: (after his proposal is rejected) I was this close to making it my job to download naughty pictures.
Dilbert: Just as well; I'd have had to kill you.
- Back in the 90's, a FoxTrot strip had Paige complaining about how no matter what she searched for, all she got were porn sites. Peter then points out that the "White House photos" results probably were legit, but...
- In Super Robot Wars OG Saga: Endless Frontier, this exchange occurs:
: It's funny what you can learn when you spend all day wasting time on the Internet, isn't it?
: Strange... In my time, the Internet is for—-
- In Persona2: Innocent Sin, you can occasionally be asked by a demon, in your contacts, what the Internet is for. OBVIOUSLY, one of the options, no matter what character is being asked, is to say that it's for porn. It's always funny.
- A lot of the porn on the extranet in Mass Effect involves Asari. Some of it also involves hanar (who have tentacles).
- Between 2 and 3, Cerberus attempted to remotely shut EDI down. She responded by flooding their computers with seven zettabytes of porn (most of it was Joker'snote ). For comparison, the sum of all human knowledge around 2011 was estimated to be a quarter of a zettabyte of data.
- In Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles, heroine Claire is searching for a computer in a wrecked prison. She asks prisoner Steve if there's one to be found; he responds that he knows of three - "The guards mainly use them for games. Oh, and porn."
- In Sunrider, one of Claude's battle quotes states that she "accidentally" downloaded porn from the enemy's network. Not that she seems to mind...
- A 1998 strip of S.S.D.D starts with a wordy description of search engines, then shows Richard typing in F-R-E-E P-O-R-N.
- In Questionable Content #112 the AnthroPC Pintsize claims to be objective at judging female breasts because of all the porn he had downloaded for Marten. In a later strip, while he browses his hard drive, he comes across his Porn Stash and gets distracted from his task. And in yet another strip Marten has to take him to be repaired by Marigold, who remarks on the amount of porn in Pintsize (then copies the hentai folder).
- Pintsize's hard drive has been described as a 'private universe of porn', and his Twitter account is nothing but hentai and Rule 34. Which Marigold then rates the artwork of.
- The situation is commented on in this page of 21st Century Fox.
- Sluggy Freelance:
- "The Sci-Fi Adventure"
Narrator: As Torg and Riff journey through space on the Confederation starship, they take advantage of the ship's information database to find a way home. As Riff puts it, "It's like the Internet."
Torg: Hey, there's nothing in here but pornography and fan sites for some show called "The Bleck-Files!" This is nothing like our Internet!
- "The Storm Breaker Saga", "Last Call":
Riff: What? These aren't owls! They're breasts! Torg, get this smut off the screen and go back to "The Wings of America."
Torg: I'm a good person. It's the Internet's fault!
- "Torg Potter and the Chamberpot of Secretions":
(Torg and two parodies of Harry Potter
characters are shopping in a magical bookstore that contains every book ever written.)
Homogenize Milktoast: I can't believe you're wasting this store's vast resources on smut!
Weaslo Ronsnaps: Not just smut! All the smut ever written!
Torg: ...What am I doing? I have the Internet!
- Steve from Khaos Komix explores his sexual orientation with the help "of [his] friend, Mr. Internet". And after Alex meets Tom, he is soon on the internet, looking for stuff on tattooed guys...
- Brought up in Ansem Retort while trying to convince Jesus to save the pornography of the future. Complete with reference to Avenue Q.
- Gabe and mostly Tycho in Penny Arcade occasionally make reference to the bizarre and specific pornography they get online. One word: Ostriches.
- In Friendly Hostility, while looking through the home computer of their boss, Derringer and Fox are absolutely shocked to see that their isn't a single pornographic image on his computer.
- The Inexplicable Adventures of Bob!: When Slick mocks Bob for running a newsstand in the digital age, Bob starts expounding on the worth of print media. He's interrupted by the arrival of his customer Mr. Dirtygeezer, requesting his usual "girlie magazines and gumdrops." Slick responds that that's practically what the net is for. Dirtygeezer disagrees, since he can't get gumdrops out of his computer.
- Joel Watson of Hijinks Ensue created a t-shirt that says "The Holodeck Is For Porn."
- In Sunstone tattoo artist Anne is doing some research into the aesthetics of the BDSM community, typing "BDSM" into a search bar gets the research off to a predictably slow start.
- In Sinfest, Slick, Squigley, and others are often shown surfing for porn. Most porn websites seem to be owned by Satan.
- In the most recent strip for RoninPressComics we get that the internet holy trinity is porn, video games and cats.
- Played with in Capes & Babes, where Roy's porn surfing marathon ends with a page telling him that he's already seen all the porn on the internet.
- Futurama: Roughly the first three minutes of "A Bicyclops Built for Two" is devoted to the subject, with porn sites and dirty chat rooms galore. Zoidberg is unimpressed... until he sees "Hot Sardine on Mackerel Action".
Fry: "I didn't think it was possible, but thanks to the Internet, I'm now bored with sex. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence?"
- In the episode "A Big Piece of Garbage", the crew watches a documentary about pollution:
Fry: You got that on the Internet? In my day the Internet was only used for pornography.
Professor Farnsworth: Actually, that's still true.
Woman in video: Now that the, uh, garbage is in space, doctor, perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions.
Man in video: With gusto.
- The Simpsons episode "I Am Furious Yellow":
Carl: You'renote the Internet's number one non-porno site.
Lenny: Which means you're ten trillionth overall.
Geek: I invented a program that downloads porn off the internet one million times faster.
Marge: Does anyone need that much porn?
Homer: (drooling) One million times...
- And From "The Great Wife Hope":
Marge: I simply Googled 'girls having fun' and, after 97,000 pages of porn, I found Crazy Bowling.
- In Robot Chicken, a sketch involved a virus deleting all the porn on the Internet and people's hard drives. Predictably, there were riots in the streets. And world leaders broadcasting that this wasn't funny, 'Please, man, give us back our porn.'
- South Park had an episode where everyone's Internet went down, plunging the nation into chaos (and Up to Eleven chaos at that, as conditions literally got as desperate as the 1930s Dust Bowl, and everything shifted to black and white). In the men's case (particularly Randy Marsh), the other problems were compounded by porn withdrawal (After internet porn, they couldn't go back to Playboy). One group created an "Internet Porn Simulator" by lowering hastily-drawn stick figure pictures into an empty monitor casing.
- Further expanded on in The Movie, when Stan innocently (no, really) asks Kyle to look up "clitoris", without knowing it's a sex organ, and they get 8 billion hits. Including one of Cartman's mom, of course.
- American Dad!: "Tyrannosaurus Rex; real. Babe-osaurus Rex; porn. A symposium on the Pangea theory of the Permian Extin - WOW, THAT IS SOME NASTY PORN!!!"
- Aqua Teen Hunger Force: In E-Dork, Carl uses his E-Helmet to watch porn constantly. "I think I'm actually done being horny. * Bestiality turns on* Oh wait... no we're not... no we are not!"
- Master Shake gets Frylock to search for "super crime, girls in trouble and press release, how to" and returns "sex with animals".
- In The Oblongs, Milo tells his friends how he's been running internet searches trying to find Helga's parents, but keeps getting sidetracked by porn.
- Surprisingly, Family Guy's resident pervert Quagmire was unaware of internet porn until the 2009 episode, "Family Goy". After being told about it, he's not seen again until a scene a few days later where he reveals that he's been at home ever since, hasn't slept and his, er, "primary arm" has swollen to a grotesque degree of muscularity.
- In a Beavis And Butthead episode, "Cyber Butt", the titular duo pressure Stewart into going on a porn site on the school computer.
- From an episode of My Life as a Teenage Robot...
Jenny: No time, Mom! I'll just download some new upgrades from the Internet!
- An early episode of King of the Hill had Boomhauer talking about dang ol' internet:
Boomhauer: Yeah man, I tell ya what, man. That dang ol' internet, man. You just go on there and point and click. Talk about W-W-dot-W-com. An' lotsa nekkid chicks on there, man. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. It's real easy, man.
- In one episode of Braceface, Sharon did a search for Red Riding Hood and accidentally came across some Red Riding Hood-themed porn.
- In The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy Grim once misspelled the URL on a website meant to summon an ancient snake god by one letter and came up with a site that started making animalistic yowling noises and Grim tried to block the kids from seeing, and it crashed the computer.
- It looks as if this phenomenon exist in any data network system: the French Videotex network, accessible through Minitels, had near half of the traffic consisting on the Minitel rose ("Minitel sex" or, litterally, "Pink Minitel") pages, which were the equivalent of phone sex on Minitel.
Okay, now don't forget to clear your cache and browser history....