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I'll Be in My Bunk
A scene where a character finds something so hot, the show makes it as clear as possible that character has to go somewhere where they can perform some immediate self-service...

Named from Firefly, where after a particularly suggestive conversation, Jayne comments "I'll be in my bunk." and exits stage left promptly.

Compare Get a Room!.

Examples:

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     Literature  
  • In A Deeper Blue by John Ringo, Katya was infiltrating a drug runner's boat by playing an airhead beach bunny dressed in a tiny bikini. Greznya (also dressed in a tiny bikini, this is a John Ringo book) was visiting the boat and passed along a message capsule through a bottle of vodka. To cover it, two of the girls got into a cat fight. The bad guy who had video surveillance of the entire boat told his boss "I'm sure they didn't pass anything to each other. I ran that clip a dozen times. Maybe more. Zoomed all over it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to my quarters..."

  • In Nemesis of the Horus Heresy, an Eversor Assassin reacts this way when he is first shown the crate of weapons the team will be using on their mission.

     Live Action TV  

  • Trope Namer: In the Firefly episode "War Stories," Jayne's response to the discovery that Inara is going to be servicing a female counselor on board her shuttle is "I'll be in my bunk."
    Zoe: Jayne! Grab your weapon!
  • Friends:
    • Rachael and Monica lose their apartment in a bet with Chandler and Joey, but finally get it back when they agree to kiss for a minute. The two guys then go into their rooms as soon as that is over.
      Chandler: Totally worth it!
      Chandler: Good night!
      Joey: Good night!
    • Occurs in an episode where Chandler asks Monica and Rachel for sexual advice. Monica's advice becomes... rather enthusiastic. When Monica finishes, totally orgasmic just from her description, she races off to her bedroom, Rachel races off to her own bedroom and Chandler races off to the bathroom.
  • A notable example in Seinfeld ("The Contest", about the four main characters wagering on who can go the longest without masturbating). Kramer loses his willpower almost instantly, just from catching a glimpse of Jerry's nude neighbor, and while he doesn't say much before he excuses himself from the room, he's back very quickly with his forfeit and the declaration "I'm out!"
  • In an episode of How I Met Your Mother, Marshall imagines going back in time to stop his 13-year-old self from smoking his first cigarette by giving him a picture of Lily, to which Young Marshall comments, "Wow, she's hot." Marshall tells his younger self that he will marry her in the future. Surprised and excited, Young Marshall runs off, saying "I'll be in my tent."
  • In the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "The Perfect Mate", Riker says something close to the trope name after being kissed by the empathic metamorph:
    "Riker to bridge. If you need me, I'll be in holodeck four."
  • In an episode of Spin City, after Michael and Caitlin get hot and heavy (apparently, office small talk turns her on) only for her to leave in the middle of it, Michael sits down, sighs, looks at his hand and asks "So, how was your day?"
  • In The Big Bang Theory when Amy is talking to Sheldon and starts fantasising. She runs to her bathroom to brush her teeth. Made funnier by the fact that in an earlier episode, she mentioned a vibrating toothbrush she uses in her "relaxation techniques for ladies". She calls it Gerard.
    "I need to go brush my teeth. It might take a while."
  • In the 1970s TV Series Hot L Baltimore, a character who is implied to be gay by his "swish" demeanor and stereotypical gay mannerisms, mentions in one episode where he is "going into the toilet and meditate."

    Newspaper Comics  
  • Dykes To Watch Out For: After being turned down for sex by her husband Stuart (due to baby-related exhaustion), Sparrow gets up. When asked where she's going, she says, with full quote marks, "To 'take a shower'"

     Video Games  
  • In Dragon Age: Origins, the Warden may ask Oghren how he feels about his wife cheating on him with another woman. The description of what he "can't help but" imagine them doing together ends with him telling the Warden that he needs a few minutes in his tent before they continue.
  • In Mass Effect 1, Ashley nearly uses this line verbatim if Man!Shep turn her down at Ilos.
  • Kingdom of Loathings description for the "Dirty Pear" effect:
    Of all the suggestive fruits, none is more so than the pear. I mean, just... look at it. The top part, the... bottom part, the... I need a minute alone.

     Web Comics  
  • Blatantly done in Captain SNES: The Game Masta: Alex, in a side story, is told Marle and other characters are kidnapped, and she tells him she will do anything if he rescues them. He runs into the bathroom, thinking about the things she would do with him.
  • This is what a character says word for word in this page of Grrl Power.
  • In Ménage à 3, when Gary and Zii see DiDi in a shirt that's too small for her:
    Zii: I'll be in my room... uh... playing guitar.
    Gary: Me too... uh... rubbing my earlobe!
  • Sunstone's Alan will sometimes have to head to the bathroom for some "alone time" when the sexual shenanigans of the main female cast get to be too much for him.

     Web Original  

     Western Animation  
  • After Molotov Cocktease lives up to her name in The Venture Bros., Brock— with a very visible erection— leaves the room to "take care of something".
  • In Family Guy, Brian invokes this trope not because he finds something arousing, but from sexual frustration after he's in a Sexless Marriage with Lois for a year, and Peter shows up the very day that Lois was going to consummate.
    Lois I tell ya, Brian, it's a good thing Peter came back when he did. I was ready to push the beds together tonight and take you for a ride around the friggin' WORLD!!
    Brian: ...I'll be in the basement.
    Peter: Doing what?
    Brian: What do you think?!
    • Another example is fake trailer for a movie called "Masturbator And Commander" (a play on Master and Commander) where the commander will be "out in a minute" during a battle.

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