Web Video: After Hours
After Hours is a Web Original comedy miniseries produced by Cracked, usually taking place in a diner after the Cracked.com workday has ended. Starring Cracked writers Katie Willert, Soren Bowie, Daniel O'Brien and Michael Swaim as themselves,note the series mainly draws humor from discussing and deconstructing various aspects of both modern and nostalgic pop culture.The show is currently ongoing, although new episodes are posted rather sporadically. New episodes tend to come out at least once a month, though there is no set schedule on posting dates.Not to be confused with the 1985 Black Comedy of the same name.
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- Alternative Character Interpretation: Discussed frequently. Examples include:
- Declaring Marty McFly's mother Lorraine to be a hardcore sadist who can only orgasm when danger is involved.Katie: First we learn that Lorraine is like a danger-slut. She only falls for George in the first place because he's injured, and then in the alternate past, Marty gets injured and she falls for him.Soren: That's the basic plot of the movie, yeah.
- Saying Edward Cullen would be a better Spider-Man than Peter Parker.
- Also...Katie (to Soren): Why don't you just admit that Batman is a violent, malajusted sociopath who's using his parents' death as an excuse to work out his aggression!?
- Mario is a douche with a moustache, and Princess Peach would be better off with Bowser.Katie: He maintains seven functioning castles. Do you have any idea how long that takes?
- Donatello, Leonardo, Raphael, Michelangelo = Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, Samantha = Dan, Soren, Katie, Michael, respectively.
- Leia as a terrorist.Soren: She invaded a kingdom, stole his property, and destroyed Jabba. She's a terrorist.
- The group eventually comes to the conclusion that Mr. Belding from Saved by the Bell had an obsession with Zack Morris and killed his girlfriends.
- Claiming that Sonic the Hedgehog is a sociopathic thrill-junkie that only cares about humiliating Robotnik, who is actually a benevolent inventor that builds protective robot suits for animals in order to keep them safe.
- Apparently, the Federation is a stagnant dystopia that goes around screwing with alien cultures out of boredom.
- Subverted here. After Katie makes a seemingly convincing case that Ursula from The Little Mermaid is only looking out for Ariel by trying to teach her that life is hard and that you need to sacrifice to gain what you want and succeed (in comparison with King Triton's bullying overprotective authoritarianism), Soren completely undercuts this by pointing out that even if this is true Ursula cheated by hypnotising Eric with her magic. This ensured Ariel could never succeed no matter how hard she tried or what she sacrificed, completely undermined her own supposed lesson and still meant that she was the villain.
- In the same episode, Michael points out that in any other story, Gaston would be the hero: he's rescuing a girl suffering from Stockholm Syndrome from an abusive Beast. Sure, he locks up her father in an insane asylum...but, well, he is crazy.
- The Ghostbusters are conservatives. The government officials and workers in Ghostbusters are political strawmen against government regulation.
- They spend an entire episode pointing out all the reasons why the six main characters in Friends are all actually terrible people.
- Declaring Marty McFly's mother Lorraine to be a hardcore sadist who can only orgasm when danger is involved.
- And That's Terrible: Katie notes that in Footloose, people's idea of a good time involved punching women, and a voiceover adds, "Not Cool!"
- Anthropomorphic Food: Soren proposes turning Pokémon into this to avoid discussing religion with Michael.Soren: We're not going to talk about religion, are we?Michael: Yes, or Pokemon again.Soren: All right, which Pokemon would taste the best?Michael: AWESOME!Katie: Jigglypuff!Michael: Jig-! Yeah, I was gonna say Jigglypuff.Dan: Yeah, I'm just gonna leave.
- Asperger Syndrome: Michael, in true Cloud Cuckoo Lander form, assumes that everyone has Asperger's in the Batman episode for no reason whatsoever. He tries to 'verify' their Asperger's by tossing a random number of coffee sweeteners to the floor of the diner or onto the table and demanding that his victim (in order: Dan, Katie, and Soren) tell him how many he threw. In The Stinger, editor Cody Johnston shows up in a cameo and demands of Katie and Soren (who just had a Slap-Slap-Kiss moment) who put 31 sugar packs on the floor.
- Aww, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: Michael and Katie. Despite their history, his obnoxiousness and her standoffishness, she (visibly) finds his antics and sense of humor occasionally adorable, and he seems to go out of his way to entertain (and annoy; almost alternating between the two) her.
- Barbie Doll Anatomy: Mike uses this as a point against Bowser.Dan: He's an ugly rage monster.Michael: No genitals!
- Batman Gambit: Soren has a minor one, and in the Batman episode, no less.Soren: The winner of this conversation will be the first person to say 'Batman's the best' and 'You're an idiot.'Mike: Batman's the best! A-Soren (deadpan): You're an idiot, I already said it. I've already won, or Batmanned, this conversation.
- Belligerent Sexual Tension: Katie and Soren have this in spades in the "Why Batman is Secretly Terrible for Gotham" episode. However, after they both snap and make out for a few seconds, things quickly go back to normal. Also with Michael. They dated and had sex at least once. Mike refuses to let her forget it.
- Katie and Soren have it again in the "5 Reasons James Bond Might Be The Worst Spy Ever," but Michael ruins the moment.
- Berserk Button: The live-action Mario movie is a big one for Dan.Katie: He (Bowser) was a T-Rex in...(realizes what she just said, looks horrified) nothing! (Soren and Mike look shocked, Dan goes berserk).Dan: IN THE MOTHERFUCKING 1993 LIVE-ACTION MOVIE?! IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE GONNA SAY?!?!Katie: I'm sorry, I forgot myself (hangs head in shame).Mike: He's just mad because they made Toad a goomba (rolls eyes).Dan: I'm mad because it SUCKED and it's inadmissible evidence in this conversation.
- Dan spends the entire Spider-Man (his idol) episode trying not to engage, but finally loses it and has a breakdown, because Peter Parker's This Loser Is You persona hits a little too close to home for him.
- Specifically, while he manages to bite his tongue throughout the episode while still visibly seething with hurt rage, it's when Michael dismissively refers to Peter Parker 'having fun' as Spider-Man that sets him off.
- Soren also loses it after Katie disses Batman for just a bit too long.
- Dan spends the entire Spider-Man (his idol) episode trying not to engage, but finally loses it and has a breakdown, because Peter Parker's This Loser Is You persona hits a little too close to home for him.
- Bi the Way: Michael said in one episode that his sexuality is constantly changing (his mental 'sexuality wheel' is mostly various versions of 'I like all genders'). He appears to prefer women though.
- Black Comedy Rape: Michael greedily threatening to rape Christopher Columbus in If You Could Have Dinner (And Sex) With Any Famous Figure. Including a diagram of a Rube Goldberg-style Rape Machine that would take days to work.
- Butt Monkey: Daniel, and he knows it. He doesn't seem to have a problem with it, either, or is at very least long resigned to it.Soren: You've all been zombies for weeks, (points at Dan) months for some of you.Dan: Sure.
- Call Back:
Michael (to Soren): All of the stuff you said about Batman (flashback of Soren angrily defending Batman to Katie plays), man, but now, about THIS!
- In the Cereal Mascots episode, Michael does an impression of Count Chocula. He later dresses as Count Chocula in the Halloween episode.
- Also, in the Mario episode.
Soren: Yes! Pretty Woman is a perfect example! Or...or watch Maid in Manhattan! Or Sex and the City!
- In the James Bond episode Soren complains about again being the only guy defending a character who single-handedly thwarts maniacal supervillains on a regular basis. This is again a callback to the Batman episode. He and Katie almost repeat their Slap-Slap-Kiss moment from that episode as well, but Michael interrupts them this time.
- In the Romantic Comedy episode:
Michael: OK, no. Fool me once...
- In the Harry Potter episode, Daniel complains that he is locked out of the conversation because he has neither read the books or seen the movies. Later on, in the episode where they discus fictional afterlives, he displays knowledge of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. The others look surprised, and he admits he watched all eight movies in a single sitting just in case it ever came up again.
- In the "4 Worst Lessons Disney Movies Taught Us" episode they are discussing how the movies portray ugly people as bad. This causes Soren to say, "so being good looking IS a superpower. I would like to revise my answer from the super power conversation."
- Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Discussed in "Six Creepiest Sitcom Characters" with everyone coming up for reasons why Judy Winslow and all of Zack's girlfriends disappeared. They eventually decided that Carl and Principal Belding murdered them all.
- Comedic Sociopathy: Again, Michael, and again, so, so very much.Soren: Dan, I'm a survivor. I play to win. I can't risk your slowing me down, or you (to Katie) falling in love with me, or you (to Michael) trying to trade me to the zombies in exchange for leniency.Mike: I was just thinking that exact thing.
- Another example:Katie: Oh my God, don't even get me started on Forrest Gump! You wanna talk about a creepy rape scene?Soren: *shrug*Dan: Not really.Mike: Yeah, alright.
- Another example:
- Cloud Cuckoo Lander: And yet again, Michael. And, yet again, so, so very much.Katie: Gordon and Batman both work hard to help the world. But only one of them has to file paperwork and obey the system, while the other one gets to expense smoke bombs and plow Catwoman, and it has nothing to do with who worked harder!Michael: Whaaat? You guys don't expense smoke bombs? How (falters under castmates' looks of derision)...how are you paying for your smoke bombs?
- The guy eats hot dogs with chocolate sauce. Doesn't get any weirder than that.
- The Cameo: Cody Johnston, one of Cracked's top editors, appears as a waiter in the Batman episode.
- And to date several more, leading up to a subplot where he is some kind of secret society spy/monitor to the "After Hours" cast (8 Mind-Blowing Connections Between the Works of Joss Whedon).
- Closet Geek: Soren. He changed out of his Comic Con costume before meeting up with the others because he's not "out" yet.
- He was also extremely eager to role-play, until he realized he was getting excited about role-play.
Michael: Jesus, they are spending a lot of time in the jump-man era.Dan: They came a lot more prepared that I thought they would. I told you we should have had cards!Michael: Fuck your cards.[Katie then pulls out index cards and starts reading from them, which causes Dan to glare at Michael]
- Katie and Soren in the Mario episode.
Michael: How can you know that? How can you possibly have architect job satisfaction statistics prepared for this?!Dan: It's... It's on the card.
- Dan the rest of the time. After being unable to contribute to Harry Potter topic, he watches all the movies in a row just in case it came up again.
- Cringe Comedy:
Michael: Yeah, plus, I think that handle's all inter-woven leather and jungle grime, so you don't want to go there.
- The gang describing their various pop culture sexual fantasies at the beginning of the Indiana Jones episode. Especially Katie's. It's awful - particularly her description of how Indy would use his whip.
- They also seem to expect this from Michael. Take this gem (keep in mind they're in a public diner):Daniel: Why don't you tell us [why Ariel would be grossed out by sex with Eric], in a voice that I'm sure will be 10% too loud for everyone's comfort?
Michael: FISH SEX IS INSERTION-FREE!!!
Daniel: *winces* There it is.
- "The 9 Creepiest Things Movies Portray as Romantic" starts off with Dan hitting on a waitress. When he realizes he's wasting her time, he manages to dig himself even deeper especially when he ends up blaming her for being so attractive.
- Cozy Catastrophe: They spend an episode debating which catastrophe would be the coziest. They conclude that the most fun, and most peaceful one, would be an asteroid that would without a doubt destroy everyone, so there'd be no reason to panic and nobody to fight leaving the world open to spend their final moments "boning".
- Deconstructor Fleet: The foursome regularly takes apart various topics in their discussions. Is the hero really that much of a hero? Are the ideals presented that ideal? Are our villains so unsympathetic? All deconstructed each episode (more or less).
- Disposable Girlfriend: Pauline, Mario's girlfriend in Donkey Kong.Soren: The first time that we meet Mario in Donkey Kong, what's he doing?Dan: Jumping over barrels and fighting a giant monkey.Michael: To save Peach! So that they can share delicious ape steak.Soren: No. Because Peach wasn't in Donkey Kong. The girl in the cage was only introduced as Pauline, his girlfriend.Katie: Oh, and then when he's done saving her, he either cheats on her or dumps her and moves on to save Peach!
- Disproportionate Retribution: Soren's solution for clowns.Katie: All right, Soren, I think we all recall, from you behavior at last year's screening of the movie It, your nightmare twig-snapper is a clown.Soren: Okay, I have proven time and again that I can control clowns by putting them into a choke-hold.
- Does This Remind You of Anything?: In one episode the others get upset when Soren won't wear his cosplay in public, to which Soren responds that he "isn't out" like them.
- The comparison between closet geek/closet gay is also made in a later episode about gay stereotypes. Soren starts out saying they're all straight (Michael quickly proves him wrong) but is made out to be Daniel's geek friend/boyfriend throughout the episode, complete with Daniel getting jealous when Soren laughs at Michael's impression of Snagglepuss and Soren acting like a boyfriend who's been caught flirting with someone else.
- Double Entendre: Katie has a subtle one.Katie: Okay, I will concede that ninja turtle selection is seminal to young boys..
- She has a long series of much less subtle ones about having sex with Indiana Jones
- Dumbass Has a Point: The Star Wars episode. Mike, of all people, points out how, other than Leia, there are no female role models in the original movies. Katie and Soren both grudgingly agree that his apocalypse is the best, eventually forcing Dan to go along. Katie's analysis of the four ninja turtles as each representing one of the four humors lends credence to Michael's theory that your favorite ninja turtle reflects your personality. Michael has this more frequently than the others, especially Dan, would like to admit.
- Probably the best example is in the Which Apocalypse Would Be The Most Fun episode. Mike comes up with a winner: an asteroid that is going to kill everyone, so there's nobody to fight and nowhere to waste energy on running to. The only thing to do is to "bone." The others have no way of finding a flaw in this but are unable to concede the point because Mike is putting it in such terribly offensive terms that it repulses them.
- End of the World as We Know It: The "Which Apocalypse Would Be the Most Fun?" episode. The winner? An asteroid that is without a doubt going to destroy Earth. The reason? Everyone Has Lots of Sex, of course!Michael: No one's running, no one's fighting 'cause there's nowhere to go, and nowhere to hide. So what do we do? Bone.
Michael: It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel like sticking it in stuff.Katie: That's not how the song goes.[everyone concedes that Michael won]Dan: [referring back to Dumbass Has a Point, above] I feel terrible about what just happened.Michael: That's what she'll say!
- He even namedrops the trope:
- Expanded Universe: Mike mocks Dan for his knowledge of Star Wars' extended universe, and forbids all EU material from their discussion of how Star Wars is terrifying for women.
- Even the Guys Want Him: Daniel is unrepentant about his lust for Benjamin Franklin in If You Could Have Dinner (And Sex) With Any Famous Figure.
- Dan also has a very noticable crush on Spiderman...which becomes weird, when you consider that he once dresses as Spidey for Comic-Con. This is an extension of a long running gag on Cracked in general that Dan is so similar to Peter Parker (turbo-nerd, socially awkward, etc.) that one might reasonably conclude that he's also Spiderman.
- Soren. Both Michael and Daniel have expressed attraction to him. Soren doesn't seem to mind, seemingly used to being desired by everyone. He usually just reacts with a smug smile.
- Fanon Discontinuity: Enforced in the Mario episode, where Katie brings up the live action movie, to the chagrin of Dan, Michael and Soren. Despite the fact that the waitress is clearly that film's version of Daisy.Katie: I'm sorry, I forgot myself.
- Among the ground rules Soren set for "The 3 Worst Lessons Taught by 80s Sports Movies" was that "'Rocky 5' and '6'note never happened".
- Freeze-Frame Bonus: Pick just about anything Michael's Brain (illustrated by Winston Rowntree) comes up with and hit pause to find a ton of referential humor.
- Also, when everyone weighs up their chances in a zombie apocalypse, detailed stats are visible for a moment. Their specialities include "Beatboxing" for Daniel, "Crying" for Michael, and "Chair Spinning" for Katie.
- Fridge Horror: Another staple of the show.
DOB: You go to a high school that comes to a grinding halt the minute one kid calls in sick. At best, it's a benevolent dictatorship. At worst, it's frigging Jonestown, except your cult leader is a seventeen-year-old who dresses like a lesbian.
- A good example of this is the gang naming Ferris Bueller's high school as the worst '80s high school of all time.
"...do you realize what you just did? You've actually made horror... boring."
- Lots and lots of examples from the "4 Ads That Depict Terrifying Alternate Realities", like how in feminine product commercials all women seem to secrete windshield wiper fluid instead of y'know, blood.
- Also inverts fridge horror, of all things.
- Funny Background Event: In "Why Mario is Secretly a Douchebag" their waitress looks like Peach and a guy who looks like Mario is working the grill.
- And in the Indiana Jones one, someone dressed like Indiana Jones is in the background.
- The diners change after Michael's antics.
- In "8 Mind-Blowing Connections Between the Works of Joss Whedon", we have two members of the diner's staff acting slightly panicky after Katie declares the subject of the episode. Later on it's reveal that Katie's theory is right, resulting in the group having to be mind wiped. Again.
- In the Movie Musicals episode, shortly after it's discussed about how background actors may get their own songs that just never appear on-screen, outside the diner a waitress and several other people can be seen dancing/posing as if they were in the middle of a musical number themselves.
- At the conclusion of "11 Movie Alternate Dimensions With Horrifying Downsides", Soren (or possibly the Soren of an alternate dimension) appears outside through a portal, then apparently decides that this is the wrong dimension and disappears again.
- Genius Ditz: Michael, so very much.
- Getting Hot in Here: Katie takes off her jacket, revealing tank top and bra straps, and then her glasses when her argument with Soren about Batman gets really intense, leaving Michael bemused and Dan terrified. When Soren finally gives up, they release some of their Belligerent Sexual Tension with a kiss.
- Guilty Pleasure: Michael is secretly a fan of Twilight. He is also aware of how creepy Edward and Bella are as an Official Couple and is the 1st to bring it up as an example in "The 9 Creepiest Things Movies Portray as Romantic".
- Heh Heh, You Said X: Michael in the bathroom with Dan and Soren.Soren (trying to pee): Dan, I really don't want to talk about that here.Dan (pacing back and forth behind Soren): What, did General Mills do a bunch of studies to demonstrate what kids are gonna respond to? And if they did do polls-Michael (from the adjacent stall, magazine covering genitals): HA! "They did polls!"
Katie: Even when he's the protagonist, Mario's still a dick with a mustache. (Soren, Dan, and Michael picture mustachioed cocks while giggling).
- And, in the Mario episode:
- Hypocritical Humor: Dan to Katie.Dan: Yeah, guess I sorta came at it half cocked. I had you guys, though, for a while.Michael: I'm still totally cocked, buddy.Katie: Oh, my God, he is.Dan: Thanks, man.Michael: All cocked up, whatever we wanna do.Soren: Are we getting cocked up? I didn't realize...Dan: We're gonna get cocked up.Katie: I...can't do that, guys. Can I get vagged up?Dan: No, don't be gross.
- Hypothetical Casting: Discussed in the apocalypse episode, for Independence Day.Michael: Hey, if Dan's Goldblum, does that make me Will Smith?Dan: No, Soren is Will Smith. You're Randy Quaid.Michael: (slightly upset) That's distasteful.Katie (to Michael): If you make me the alien, I will punch you in the throat.Michael (considering): There's a stripper in that movie.Dan: There it is! You're the stripper. (Katie facepalms)Katie: I've never been a stripper! Why w-Soren: Yeah, I think she's the wife of Will Smith in that, so you're not doing too bad.Katie: She's a stripper.Dan: She's still a stripper.
- In a similar vein, Katie gets annoyed during the group's discussion of Ferris Bueller when the guys decide to cast her as the "hooker nurse" who shows up briefly at one point.
- I'll Be in My Bunk: Michael pulls this in the Ninja Turtles episode. He feels the need to drop everything and run to Blockbuster once somebody clues him in about "pseudo-porn for women" (also known as Sex and the City).Dan: Well, he's in for a disappointing evening.
Dan: So it's really porn for women?Soren: It's pseudo-porn. It's not what you think. It's just a bunch of people in boring situations where sometimes nudity happens.Dan: I'm not gonna lie. That sounds amazing.
- Insistent Terminology: Michael, again.Katie: Why does Bowser keep coming back game after game? He rallies enough troops-Mike: Troopas.Katie: (Gives Michael a Death Glare) to create armies-Mike: Armoopas! (gives a 'Did I not just make this clear?' shrug to Soren and Dan).
- Kissing Cousins: Van-dwelling Cody from Step by Step may have had this with an adoptive relative.Katie: You know who's really creepy? Cody from Step by Step.Dan: Yeah, but not murder creepy.Katie: He lived in a freaking van.Dan: Yeah!...Yeah, he did that.Katie: Patrick Duffy just kept insisting that this eight-foot-tall van dweller was a member of the family, and yet he spent all his time hitting on his relatives.Soren: From the van...that he...lived in.Dan: To be fair, he only hit on one relative, and they weren't related by blood. The heart wants what it wants, van or no van.Soren: Ideally, no van.Katie: Yeah, romancing a family member? Still romancing a family member.
- Major Minor Inconvenience: Discussed at length in "4 Ads That Depict Terrifying Alternate Realities".
- Memory Wiping Crew: In the Joss Whedon episode it's revealed that the gang is being watched by a shady crew of people who occasionally wipe their memories when needed. That explains a lot.
- It has always been a running joke that Soren, Katie, and Michael don't remember a lot from their previous conversations at the diners, nor consider each other close. This saddens Dan who remembers almost everything and thinks of them as his friends. Turns out it's because their minds have been wiped more often than Dan's.
- Michael has steadily gotten weirder over time. Turns out it's because his mind has been wiped 12 times. Could explain his obsession with aliens. He might remember something, but has replaced The Crew with a different kind of monsters.
- In the Creepy Sitcom Characters episode they notice the waiter Cody and wonder why he has been following them from diner to diner. They think he's just a stalker, but he turns out to be the leader of The Crew.
- A Mind Is a Terrible Thing to Read: The reason why mind-reading is panned as the ultimate superpower.Katie: I mean, I only get to hear like three percent of what people are thinking and I already hate almost everyone. If I could read minds, I'd probably just end up knocking motherfuckers out.
- Mistaken for Racist: Soren mistakes Michael.Soren: Is this where we find out you're a racist?Michael: They were JERKS! Uncle Phil threw his nephew's best friend out the front door on a daily basis! Carl was abusive to his son, and a total prick to Urkel, moreso than anyone else. Those guys got their kicks from physically and verbally abusing their kids' friends!
- Mr. Fanservice: Soren.Michael: You have to cull your booty call list?
Soren: *grinning* It's actually more of a booty base. *winks at a waitress*
- Trying to find an entirely original premise for a show in The Only 8 Types of TV Shows That Get Made, one suggestion is "Screw the Protagonist". The promo that pops up for it consists entirely of Soren winking at the camera.
- Ms. Fanservice: Katie, somewhat. In the Comic-Con and Halloween episodes, she wears low-cut cleavage-baring costumes. This is lampshaded in the opening title sequence, featuring four different depictions of the group, one from the mind of each cast member. In Michael's, she wears a stripperific dress and heels (seen in the page picture, an amalgam of the four versions), and in Soren's she wears a slinky dress. In Katie's, on the other hand, she's a bitter-looking spinster, and in Dan's she's a nun.
- My Friends... and Zoidberg: The main Pixar storyline and France:Dan: Well, Brave happened hundreds and hundreds of years in the past, before all this, and Ratatouille happened... in France. Like, we have the whole main Pixar story going on, and then meanwhile, in France, there was like...like, a rat that could cook.Soren: What about Monsters, Inc.?Dan: Those were... also Pixar movies... who gives a shit what bugs were doing during the robot apocalypse?Soren: This really fell apart on you, didn't it?Dan: Yeah, guess I sorta came at it half cocked. I had you guys, though, for a while.
- Although, if Dan racked his mind he could easily come up with counters for all of the movies mentioned above. Monster's Inc. takes place in another dimension, Finding Nemo happens under the sea, and A Bug's life happens on a random island.
- Mythology Gag: In the Rocky episode, Michael imitates a judge. A Running Gag in Agents Of Cracked was that in that series Michael was a former judge.
- No Animals Were Harmed: Averted by the Pokémon universe, according to Michael.Michael: It's not just that a few people are fine with animal cruelty; the entire society's economy is based on it. (Gives examples).Soren: You either have to breed or fight or support the breeding and fighting of Pokemon.Michael: What happens is that all the power goes to the guy with the strongest Pokemon. You rise to power on the strength of your Pokemen, and you can only be dethroned by a dude with a stronger Pokeman. It's like the Old West, and Ash Ketchum is basically Al Swearengen.
- No New Fashions in the Future: Discussed and deconstructed in the Star Trek episode, where Dan tries to use this to prove that the Trek universe is actually a Crapsack World where human civilization has gone stagnant. He claims that Starfleet is obsessed with discovering new life in outer space because humans in the future have completely lost their sense of creativity and independent thought, and can only experience wonder at new things by looking for them in other worlds.
- Noodle Incident: Michael and Katie's first date. Also the time they had sex.
- Also, Michael's Bio-Dome Theorem.
- Noodle Implements: Michael and Katie's lone (possibly) sexual encounter occurred in a bowling alley. Their first date happened after Mike allegedly won the Indy 500, and an allegedly retarded Katie showing up at Mike's dorm room. Obviously, due to Mike's incredible comedic sociopathy, it is likely none of this is true, with the possible exception of sex in a bowling alley, if only because it's actually (somewhat) plausible (not to mention in keeping with Mike's malicious nature) and Katie doesn't state otherwise. Still, Katie was more occupied telling Soren and Dan they only had sex once, because Mike referred to the bowling alley as 'the last place we had sex.'Katie: I'd give him the keys to my Short-Round, if you know what I am saying.Dan: No one knows what you are sayingMicheal(Obviously horrified): I know.
- Odd Friendship: Jockish, handsome, sometimes dim Soren and nerdy, unlucky Dan seem to be the closest out of the group of four.
- Oh, Crap: Dan has this is the Mario episode.Dan: Every pipe is a former inhabitant that Bowser trapped! Because he's EVIL!Soren: Everything?Dan: EVERYTHING! EVIL!Dan: Y- Ah. Ahhhhhhhh.Soren: So, whereas I thought Mario was just showing up and destroying a kingdom like a terrorist, what you're actually saying that he was murdering all those people and stealing the gold coins from their corpses! That brick was probably somebody's son, Daniel.
- Our Zombies Are Different: Aversion stipulated to in their discussion of the merits of a Zombie Apocalypse as a doomsday scenario.Waitress: Doesn't that kinda depend on what kind of zombies you're talking about? (loud, collective groan)Soren: There's only one type of zombie.Waitress: No, I mean if you're talking about the 28 Days Later type of zombie-Dan and Soren: The slow, mindless, disorganized zombies. (Katie and Michael imitate Romero zombies).Waitress: There's a lot of other-Dan: OKAY! If you're going to get into every Tom, Dick and rage virus reimagining, we will be here all night. Romero zombies are the only zombies. We literally cannot advance this conversation otherwise. (waitress looks enormously hurt, leaves).Michael: And you've driven another woman away from us.
- Power-Up Food: What Michael thought Bowser planned for Peach.Mike: Are you sure he loves her? I thought he was going to devour her Peach flesh, to get...princess powers, or something.Dan: No, he does love her. They say as much in Super Mario Sunshine.
- Progressively Prettier: Katie starts showing more skin as the series has gone on.
- Protagonist Centred Morality: Raised in the discussion of Ferris Bueller's Day Off. When everyone challenges Dan when he claims it's the worst high school in 1980s movies, he points out that they're assuming it'd be great because they're also assuming they'd be Ferris instead of one of the minor characters.
- The Quisling: Michael gleefully admits that, if a Zombie Apocalypse occurred, he would trade his friends to the zombies in exchange for his own life.
- Reality Ensues: In their discussion on rom-coms, Michael(very accurately, I might add) points out that the easy part of a relationship, which is the one that rom-coms cover and nothing else, is falling in love, and that people fall in love by accident with terrible people all the time... Cue illustrations of Amy Winehouse with Pete Doherty, Tina Turner with Ike Turner, Rihanna with Chris Brown and Kurt Cobain with Courtney Love.
- Reed Richards Is Useless: Michael points out that if Spiderman patented his web-shooters and sold the technology to the police, it would make things better for everyone.
- Required Secondary Powers: Discussed in a debate about the best single superpower.Soren: That's the problem with any one power. Without the whole suite, they just suck.
- Ron the Death Eater: Frequently invoked by the Alternate Character Interpretations, since many of them frequently depend on interpreting a given character's actions in the least flattering ways possible. Lampshaded in-universe by Soren in the Batman and James Bond episodes, when he points out with some frustration that he seems to be the only one of the group willing to defend the guys who routinely risk their lives trying to protect innocent people from psychotic murderous maniacs while the others keep trying to find ways to view them in the worst possible light.
- Running Gag: Michael accusing the others of having Aspergers in the Batman episode.
- And throwing sugar packets on the table and asking them how many it was, ala Rainman
- Someone will inevitably be about to take a bite of their food whenever bodily fluids are discussed.
- Dan finding some way to include Spiderman into any conversation.
- Dan doing a terrible impression of someone (it's usually the same voice every time), and Soren thinking that it's spot-on.
- Subverted in the "Alternate Dimensions" episode, in spite of Dan actually doing a rather impressive take on Krang.
- Michael trying to complete Dan's point with something completely different and Dan responding "Close," before finishing his own explanation.
- Each of the Crew has a few running jokes to their names.
- Soren's Jerk Jock tendencies and occasional vaguely Nazish tendencies.
- Katie's tendency to fumble with puns and/or innuendos.
- Dan's lack of social graces and disconnection to the real world via pop culture.
- Michael's utter depravity and affinity for outdated forms of media.
- Schmuck Bait: Scientology for Michael.Michael: Scien what now?Dan.: No. No, impossible.Katie: You've never heard of Scientology?Michael: I've heard of it! It's like a science show, right? Yuck.Soren: Uh, actually, it's science fiction. You'd like it.Katie: Yeah! It's about a few simple rules that could help form a perfect utopia. Just if we can overcome the evil aliens trying to thwart us.Dan: I think Beck's one.Michael: Wow! I am, like, super down for this! What do I do?Soren: You know what, you paid, so I will do you a favor and set you up with one of their reps. It's called an e-reading. It's very exclusive.Michael: You're a good friend. Wai- I don't have to read a lot, do I?Soren: No, you don't have to read at all. They do all the reading for you.Michael: You're a good friend.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: Dan and Michael decide to (quietly) leave the diner as Soren and Katie's argument near the end of "Why Batman is Secretly Terrible for Gotham" gets more and more heated (although, they should've stayed a bit longer).
- We see Dan do a Double Take look back at them through the window, showing he did see it.
- Seinfeldian Conversation: The show revolves around this trope.
- Sex Bot: Dan had one, kinda.Michael: Dan, you like Donatello because he's a nerd and is open to sex with electronics.Dan: First of all, 'does machines' is not literal. Second of all, it was a foot massager that I got for my birthday, and I told you all of that a thousand times.Soren: And not one of us ever asked.
- In If You Could Have Dinner (And Sex) With Any Famous Figure, Michael briefly mistakes Mary Todd Lincoln's name for Martha Jones Lincoln.
- The "Robot spider!" aside in "Why the Scariest Sci-Fi Robot Uprising Has Already Begun" has a conference room full of robots given their thumbs up - including EDI.
- In the Batman episode, a chart illustrating Wayne Enterprises' business profits is accompanied by the charts of Umbrella Corporation, Aperture Science, Bluth Corporation and Blue Sun.
- The Singularity: Comes up in a conversation about the scariest robots in movies.Katie: When robots become smart the first problem that they try and solve is how to make robots smarter. And a few minutes later they're so much smarter than us we can't even begin to comprehend the ways that they're gonna kill us.Michael: Yeah, that's called Judgement Day. So "The Singularity" is just the math-y name for the death-metal album cover of an apocalypse that is Terminator? And you guys choose to use the math name...
- Soapbox Sadie: Katie's criticisms of Batman and James Bond take on this edge.
- Straw Nihilist: There are a fair number of implications that Soren is this. He fears weakness, believes he is an Übermensch, shows little empathy for others, and it's been theorized that the working class is "invisible" to him.
- Dan accuses him of "letting the inner Aryan out" when he supports executing anyone sorted into Slytherin House.
- In the superpowers and Indiana Jones discussions, Soren actually uses the term Ubermensch.
- Stunned Silence: Follows after Katie points out some Fridge Horror inherent in Forrest Gump.note
- Stupid Sexy Flanders: Benjamin Franklin, according to Dan, was a Pimp!
- Spider-Man is very seductive.
- Dan rails against the "handsome, blond shithead" in Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame who gets the girl and wasn't in the book. The whole time he's pointing his thumb at Soren, who waggles his eyebrows and grins.
- They Wasted a Perfectly Good Sandwich: The Pixar episode has the four maliciously destroy each other's food for no particular reason. Katie dumps Dan's milkshake on his plate, Dan takes Mike's chicken leg and drops it in Soren's soup, and Soren, deciding that this means no one gets to eat, pours the soup on Katie's meal. Dan eventually gives in and attempts to drink his milkshake off the rest of his food with a straw, however.
- As a side note, as the video progresses you can see that the milkshake spill was being too messy to keep filming so they cleaned up. And then there's a different burger in Dan's plate, so they ruined 2 perfectly good sandwiches.
- The Tape Knew You Would Say That: Dan's flash cards are prepared for literally everything, down to Michael's insults.
- Time Stop: Declared to be the ultimate superpower in "The Best Superpower (is Not What You Think)". Specifically, the Zack Morris "Time Out" from Saved by the Bell.
- Too Incompetent to Operate a Blanket: Discussed in "4 TV Ads that Depict Terrifying Alternate Universes," where the group discusses how you would probably become the smartest person in the world if you lived in the world of infomercials as yourself.
- Same video also displayed the Unfortunate Implications brought on in other types of commercials - for instance:
- Car commercials that show a car on empty roads, which works well until you realize you're the only car out there.
- Yogurt commercials and women's health products (decongestants, anti-histemenes, fiber) all show dressed-down women who look like they just rolled out of bed. Plus the women in the yogurt commercials apparently just want spouses who don't know what yogurt is, and seem to keep it a secret as hard as possible, "men who will sleep through their colds and be amazed at air freshener technology."
- Allergy ads: when these people get allergies, their body turns blurry, and colds make the world turn black and white.
- Alcohol ads: everyone seems to party all the time and the only people who even do any sort of work are the bartenders. Also, no one except Soren (the one who suggested it) would ever drink as it's illegal for an ad to depict someone actually drinking, meaning he would be the only to get wasted, puke in the toilet, ruin his liver, and die. And everyone would be partying at his funeral.
- Same video also displayed the Unfortunate Implications brought on in other types of commercials - for instance:
- Unfortunate Implications: Dan views Back to the Future as having these for black history, specifically the civil rights movement and rock music.Dan: Marty gave this random black guy the push he needed to succeed in 1955, the year the civil rights movement started.Katie (bewildered): Okay...so you're saying...?Michael: Black people invented hoverboards!Dan: Close. I'm saying I wouldn't be surprised if the original rough draft of Back to the Future was Marty time-traveling and crafting black history. (Gives examples).Michael: I would watch that movie.Dan: All I'm saying is that Marty influences history in exactly two ways, not related to parental boning. One, he gives black people the idea for rock music. And two, he gives a black guy political aspirations the year the civil rights movement started.Katie (conceding): Okay...Dan: Why do you not?!
- Unsound Effect: Asperger's!
- Vitriolic Best Buds: Everyone.
- "What Do They Fear?" Episode: Everyone briefly reveals, via internal thoughts, their worst fears, in "4 Terrifying Psychology Lessons Behind Movie Monsters". Dan's afraid of being alone, Soren fears growing old, Katie fears death, and Michael fears getting an std.
- "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue: In the episode, Movie Epilogues, they talk about epilogues that would make for interesting sequels.
- Why Don't Ya Just Shoot Him?: Voldemort.Soren: Wizards are supernatural. What good's a Muggle gonna do?Mike: There's a bunch of us, and we have helicarriers and assault rifles. We killed Hitler, Hussein, and Houdini. You think we can't nuke "Volter-man" into next week?Katie: He has limitless dark power!
- What If?: Dan compares Leia going to Tatooine to save Han to George Washington abandoning his troops to rescue Martha during the Revolutionary War.Katie: Wait, wasn't that what The Patriot was about?
- Wild Mass Guessing: Michael forces Soren and Dan to do this at the beginning of the Star Wars episode.Dan: The logistics of warp speed.Michael: No.Soren: The tactical stupidity of putting your base on a monster-filled ice planet.Dan: Lando Calrissian as an ideal version of Machiavelli's Prince.Michael: No to both.Katie (sitting down): Okay...something about Star Wars.Dan (ignoring Katie): Jawas as a metaphor for the Armenian Genocide...somehow.Michael: No, but that's a good idea.Dan: No, it's not.Soren: If it's possible to have sex with someone across the room using only The Force.Dan: Sub-question; is that technically cheating if you're in a relationship when it happens.Soren (responding to sub-question): No.Katie: Okay, so what specifically-Dan: Michael wants to talk about Star Wars but he's making us guess the exact aspect. How improbable it is that Imperial crew members have British accents.Michael (with a flourish): Nay!Soren: Something about how Chewie can fly a ship like a man but doesn't have to wear pants like an animal.Michael: (Gives a long, loud imitation of Wookiee language).Soren: That was a 'no.'Dan: That was a 'no.'Michael: Okay, I'll give you a hint: my wiener is-Katie: Oh! Women!Michael: Nailed it.
- The Woobie: One of Katie's alternate character interpretations for Bowser. Challenged by Michael.Katie: So he loves her, but he just doesn't know how to express it! He's like a very competent Lenny from Of Mice and Men.Mike: Except covered in spikes! (Michael's brain shows a weeping George loading a revolver behind Bowser, on whose spikes are impaled a bird, a dog, Curley's wife, and a bag of chips.)
- Wrong Genre Savvy: Soren demonstrates this when discussing the alternate universe of Quentin Tarantino movies. He believes he's best qualified to survive in the world of the films because of his experience with guns and his strong self-preservation instinct. The others point out that you need to be a different kind of sociopath than he is to survive.
- Yaoi Fangirl: Soren of all people, but when Dan brings up Ferris Bueller's Day Off and Michael says he "would be Sloan", Soren imagines Cameron about to make-out with Swaim.
- Zombie Apocalypse: Soren's preferred doomsday scenario.Soren: It's simple. They're just an easily defeated opponent. They're a worse version of normal people.Michael: Who you also dominate.[then, later]Dan: Well, Katie, nobody wants a zombie apocalypse.Soren: Really? Because it's all I can think about, now...