Mona Simpson: [singing]How many roads must a man walk down / Before you can call him a man? Homer: Seven! Lisa: No, dad, it's a rhetorical question. Homer: Rhetorical, eh? ... Eight! Lisa: Dad, do you even know what "rhetorical" means? Homer: Do I know what "rhetorical" means?
Ah, rhetorical questions. Is there anything they can't do? ...Wait, don't answer that.
A Rhetorical Question Blunder is what happens when a character asks a question that they didn't need an answer to... and then gets an answer anyway. That answer will almost always be contrary to the point they were trying to make. Occasionally this can lead down a slippery slope as the asker tries to salvage the original intention.
Could easily lead to a Rhetorical Request Blunder. Particularly common when dealing with someone who is Sarcasm-Blind. Related to Analogy Backfire.
Despite the common use of the phrase when the asker sees this coming, this has nothing to do with Don't Answer That, which is a trope about Perp Sweating.
See About Rhetorical Questions for why rhetorical questions don't work well on a wiki. Blunt Yes is a subtrope.
Don Rosa played with the trope in "A Little Something Special". After Magica De Spell, Flintheart Glomgold, the Beagle Boys and Blackheart Beagle teamed up in a plan to steal Scrooge McDuck's fortune and failed, Magica and the Beagles went to South Africa and robbed Flintheart, who asked what he did to deserve that but quickly added a "Don't Answer That" command.
Reed Richards: Sorry. I thought he was actually asking.
In one issue of The Sandman, Morpheus grants a 14th-century peasant immortality to see how he'll adapt to it, and the man agrees to meet Morpheus again in a pub one hundred later. When they see each other again in 1489, the man raves about all of the exciting technological advances that he's seen in the last century (including chimneys, playing cards and...handkerchiefs) and Morpheus sarcastically remarks, "Most impressive. What will you people think of next?" Not realizing that he's mocking him, the man responds "Something to get rid of fleas, with any luck..."
In chapter 15 of Sonic Generations: Friendship is Timeless, Rainbow Dash asks a rhetorical question. She then notices Pinkie Pie is about to answer said question and quickly states she wasn't looking for an answer.
In chapter 8 of Harry Potter and the New Chance Tonks brought Sirius to see her parents after Veritaserum questioning by Madame Bones revealed his innocence. When they reacted with shock and hostility she said "Do you think I'd bring a dangerous criminal home for supper? On second thought, scratch that."
Film — Animated
In Alice in Wonderland, when Alice shrinks back to normal size after calling the Queen out, the Queen rhetorically asks what she was saying and the Cheshire Cat answers. But unlike many other examples, it's likely he knew it was a rhetorical question and he did it for a laugh.
Scuttle: Have I ever been wrong? (Pause) I mean when it's important!
Pocahontas has one between Governor Ratcliffe and Wiggins. For bonus points, Ratcliffe ends his monologue with another rhetorical question.
Double bonus points when (if you read the ending credits) you realise Ratcliffe and Wiggins are voiced by the same person.
Governor Ratcliffe: Wiggins, why do you think those insolent heathens attacked us? Wiggins: Because we invaded their land and cut down their trees and dug up their earth? Governor Ratcliffe: It's the gold! They have it and they don't want us to take it from them. Well, I'll just have to take it by force then, won't I?
Monty Pythons Life Of Brian has an extended example: when Reg asks "What have the Romans ever done for us?" the other revolutionaries begin offering examples, eventually leading to:
"All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?" "Brought peace?" "Oh, peace! SHUT UP!"
Right after Bloom meets Bialystock at the beginning of The Producers:
Max Bialystock: How dare you condemn me without knowing all the facts! Leo Bloom: Mr. Bialystock, I don't condemn— Max Bialystock: Shut up! I'm having a rhetorical conversation.
Later:
Bialystock: Have I ever steered you wrong? Franz Liebkind: Always. Bialystock: Never mind!
Serenity has one such example, where in the midst of an argument between the crew, Mal barks a question at Jayne, who promptly answers, much to throw Mal off of his speechifying track.
Mal: Do you want to run this ship!? Jayne:Yes. Mal: ...Well you can't.
Errol from Snatch has this problem, with his boss Brick Top just wanting him to be Dumb Muscle. "It was a rhetorical question, Errol. What have I told you about thinking?"
Time Bandits has the embodiment of Evil thinking aloud:
Evil Genius: That's a good question. Why have I let the Supreme Being keep me here in the Fortress of Ultimate Darkness? Robert: Because you... Evil Genius: Shut up, I'm speaking rhetorically. Robert: Oh, of course, of course...
Elizabeth: Would you want me like this, now, so soon before our wedding?
Froderick: YES!
Crocodile Dundee, especially after Mick got a taste of using his hunting stories to mess with people.
Jeez, Mick, were you born in a cave?
Yeah! How did you know that?
... Never mind.
Or,
Are you involved in cattle?
Yeah. mostly buffaloes.
Oh. do you breed them?
No, just toss 'em.
And how are you finding New York? Bit of a lunatic asylum, eh?
That's why I love it. I fit right in.
In Analyze This, mobster Paul Vitti is interrogating a crony while threatening him with a pipe.
Vitti: Know what I'm gonna do to you if you if you don't answer me?
Crony: You gonna slug me with that pipe?
Vitti: That was a rhetorical question, moron!!
Literature
In The Talisman by Stephen King, the Big Bad considers the Bible verse "For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" He concludes, "It profits him the world."
Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler: Trust me. Have I ever lied to you? Bezam Planter: Well, one night last month you sold me a sausage in a bun and you said— Throat: I was speaking rhetorically. Bezam: Oh. Well. I dunno about rhetorically.
Moving Pictures also has the same The Merchant of Venice gag as Neverwhere (below), with the troll who asked the question still insisting "Ah, but I would if I had blood. I'd bleed all over the place."
In Going Postal, Mr. Groat informs Moist von Lipwig that he has to take "The Postman's Walk" if he wants to be accepted as the new Postmaster by the Order of the Post. Moist decides to go through with what he thinks is just a harmless initiation ritual, asking "What's the worst that could happen?" After a bit of thought, Mr. Groat responds "The worst that could happen is you lose all your fingers on one hand, are crippled for life, and break half the bones in your body. Oh, and then they don't let you join."
In Thud!, Fred Colon comments on the trouble in Koom Valley with the immortal question "War, Nobby, huh. What is it good for?" This being Discworld, where rhetorical questions never caught on, Nobby answers the question with things like "Freeing slaves?" and "Protecting yourself from a totalitarian aggressor?"
The undefined-but-clearly-supernatural nature of Messrs Croup and Vandemar in Neverwhere is shown when Vandemar sticks a knife through the back of his own hand, doesn't bleed, and shows no pain. Shortly afterward, Mr Croup makes a comment about "Oh, Mr Vandemar, if you cut us, do we not bleed?" Vandemar's response is a carefully considered "No."
In A Civil Campaign by Lois McMaster Bujold, Richars Vorrutyer gives a speech with a lengthy list of insulting rhetorical questions. Then someone answers him.
In The War God's Own, Halashu asks who would be fool enough to claim that Bahzell Bahnakson is a Champion of Tomanak. Cue the War God appearing to say: "I would."
Hamuul does it again regarding Garrosh's apparently unwise delay in the attack on Theramore.
Garrosh: And now, can you tell me what my decision to wait has brought us?
Hamuul: Defeat?
Live Action TV
On 3rd Rock from the Sun, Dick Solomon responds to the question "You think you're the smartest person in the world, don't you?" with "For the thousandth time, yes!"
Blackadder: I mean, look at this. What is it? Baldrick: I'm surprised you've forgotten, my lord. Blackadder: I haven't forgotten. It's a rhetorical question. Baldrick: No, it's a potato.
This happens in The Big Bang Theory when Raj, Howard, and Sheldon go look up an entomologist to settle a bet:
Professor Crawley: Let me ask you a question. What does an accomplished entomologist with a doctorate and twenty years of experience do when the university cuts all his funding? Raj: Ask uncomfortable rhetorical questions to people?
Sheldon often answers rhetorical questions.
Penny: And what kind of doctor removes feet from asses? Sheldon: Depending on the depth, that would be either a proctologist or a general surgeon....Oh.
In Warehouse 13, Artie is looking at the Warehouse's electrical schematic and muttering to himself.
Artie: For crying out loud. Who designed this thing? Leena: Thomas Edison. Nicola Tesla. And M. C. Escher.
One Mark Wary sketch on The Wedge features his manager asking "How could Mark possibly have impregnated three women at the same time?" Mark, sitting next to him, unhelpfully answers "Daylight Savings."
James: Isn't that adorable? When was the last time you saw a diaper poking out from a Dolce and Gabbana suit? Marshall: Tuesday, At work... some of the senior partners are really getting up there.
Also Barney once, when he was angsting about finding his father.
Barney(to the girl he's about to climb in bed with) Who's your daddy? Girl:(flirtatiously) I don't know... who's your daddy? Barney:(bursts into tears) I don't know!
Mr. Whitmore: How many of us have lost countless productive hours plagued by unwanted sexual thoughts and feelings? Xander raises his hand. Mr. Whitmore: That was a rhetorical question, Mr. Harris, not a poll.
And in "Bargaining, Part I":
Xander:(to Willow) Excuse me? Who made you the boss of the group? Anya: You did. Tara: You said Willow should be boss. Anya: And then you said "let's vote," and it was unanimous... Tara: ...and then you made her this little plaque, that said "Boss of Us," you put little sparkles on it... Xander: Valid points all.
In "Seeing Red" Buffy is up against a vampire who's putting up a good fight.
Buffy: How hard you gonna hit when you're blowin' in the wind?
(Vampire kicks Buffy into a tombstone just as she dusts him)
Buffy:(groaning in pain) That was rhetorical.
Played with in "Crush".
Spike: What the bleeding hell is wrong with you bloody women? What the hell does it take? Why do you bitches torture me?
Buffy: Which question do you want me to answer first?
Angel gets in on it too, when Cordelia is chastising him for letting a demon get away:
Angel: Do you know how hard it is to think with a rebar through your torso? Cordelia: Actually, I do. Benefits of a Sunnydale education. *
Grace: I'm doing the right thing, right? Will: Well— Grace: What?! Will: Nothing. No, I just—I'm just saying—as a friend, I want you to know that if you were thinking of calling it off, don't worry about the people out there. Don't worry about all those gifts. You do what your heart tells you is right. Grace:...Are you freaking kidding me with this?! Will: "If," I said "if!" Grace: The question was rhetorical. That means you're supposed to say "yes." Will: That's not what "rhetorical" means. Grace: Are we talking about what "rhetorical" means or about how you're freaking me out right now?! Will: Am I supposed to answer that or is that rhetorical too?
In Star Trek: The Original Series, Spock sometimes answers rhetorical questions. For example, this exchange from "The Apple," after Spock has risked his life to save Kirk:
Kirk: Trying to get yourself killed. Do you know how much Starfleet has invested in you? Spock: One hundred twenty two thousand two hundred — Kirk cuts him off Kirk: Never mind. But thanks.
Supernatural did one of these in the episode "Bedtime Stories".
Dean: "Dude, could you be more gay? ...Don't answer that."
Community — in "Competitive Wine-Tasting" Professor Sheffield, who teaches a class critically analysingWho's the Boss?, opens his first class with the question: "Who was the Boss?" He intends it as a rhetorical question — unfortunately, as Abed ends up conclusively and empirically demonstrating, this particular question has a quite clear and definite answer.
So the professor moves on to "What was happening?" (a course critically analyzing What's Happening!!)
Slings and Arrows has this dialogue exchange (from "Steeped In Blood"), which perfectly typifies the difference in philosophy between Geoffrey and Richard.
Geoffrey: Which would you prefer: an empty house with a great play, or a full house with a piece of garbage? Richard: GARBAGE! GARBAGE! I want GARBAGE!
Charles: Will they stop at nothing?! Carol I don't know, do you think they will? Charles: I meant that rhetorically. Carol What does rhetorically mean? Charles: It means I didn't expect an answer.
Debra: I've sat through god knows how many briefings; why am I so fucking nervous? Dexter: Because everyone'll be looking to see if you know what you're doing? Debra: Do me a favor: when you get back to your desk, look up the word "rhetorical".
Whitaker:(sarcastically) And how many people do you think you can pluck off the streets before people start noticing?
Molly:(completely serious) Approximately 300.
When Samantha Carter is introduced in the pilot of Stargate SG-1, the men in the briefing room are somewhat annoyed that "another scientist"note O'Neill's words (and a female one, no less) is being foisted on them for the recon mission to Abydos. Maj. Kawalsky condescendingly asks her if she has ever pulled out of a simulated bombing run in an F-16 at eight-plus g's. Carter's response is a Blunt Yes, and Kawalsky has to stop and process that before saying that traveling through the stargate feels worse.
In the That '70s Show episode "Over the Hills and Far Away":
Kitty: What is wrong with you? Were you dropped on your head?
Kelso: Yes, I was! And up until now everybody had the good grace not to mention it!
In Doctor Who, K-9, being a computer, was prone to this:
Romana: How could I have been such a fool?! K-9: Question unclear. Kindly rephrase. Romana: Oh, be quiet, K-9.
From The Doctor Dances:
The Doctor: History says there was an explosion, and who am I to argue with history? Rose: Usually the first in line.
Babylon 5, choosing between sending a signal about the presence of a Shadows fleet and risking detection or laying low until they can get engines back on line:
Ivanova: Who wants to live forever?
Marcus: I do, actually. But what the hell... Signal away.
Music
Bowling For Soup's song "No Hablo Ingles", in a verse containing a series of questions:
Do you like my band?
...Don't answer that.
Newspaper Comics
Garfield says this to a mirror in the January 28, 1985 strip when he asks it who the cutest cat of all is and Nermal walked up soon after.
In the musical of Wicked, Glinda the Good Witch enters in the first song to cheers and halloos. She, smiling, replies "It's good to see me, isn't it?" They all respond, "Yes!" She (still smiling) answers, "You needn't respond; that was rhetorical."
Video Games
In Ghost Trick, Bailey the prison guard blunders over his own rhetorical question when he replies to a co-worker implying he's stupid with "What's that supposed to mean?", then explains apropos of nothing that it was just an expression of indignation.
Tan Soldier: Colonel Grimm and the Sarge have escaped our forces and captured a blue intelligence officer and...to make matters worse, Sarge found one of our portals.
General Plastro: WHAT?
Tan Soldier: Colonel Grimm and Sarge have escaped -
General Plastro: I HEARD YOU! IT WAS A RHETORICAL 'WHAT'! (punches the soldier out of the building) Does anyone else have any good news they'd like to share?
Wrex: Hey, Tali. Your people created the geth, ever talk about it?
Tali: Do the krogan talk about starting a stupid war that got your species sterilized?
Wrex: All the time.
In Mass Effect 3, during a sidequest where you traverse a virtual world, Shepard comes across recordings of the quarians before the geth drove them off their homeworld and wonders why the quarians are wearing their environmental suits. Legion, a friendly geth, responds that the recordings are based off Shepard's own memories and asks Shepard how many quarians s/he has seen without their suits. If your Shepard is male and romanced Tali in the second game, he replies: "Well...one."
Cortana has one of these done to her in Halo 2 when the Chief and some Helljumpers are deployed onto Halo Installation 05 by HEV.
Percy: Is there anything in the world more miserable than a wet cat? Pooch: Ummmm... A frozen penguin? ... A shaved porcupine? Constipated skunk? ... A toothless beaver!
Implied here — "You been living in a cave or something?" is not answered "Yes", but the readers know it's true.
Nogg: Does failing so many times mean I should give up, or that it's more noble that I keep getting up to get knocked down again? ... That's rhetorical. Krep: Do you hear me replying?
Haley: Wanna see how many slaves we can sneak out of the palace before dinner? Vaarsuvius: By my calculations, twenty three. Haley: No, I meant—Just get your stuff.
Bart: This isn't bad! Homer: "Isn't bad"? Tell me one thing mankind has ever done that's any better? Lisa: The Renaissance? Homer: This is better!
And again in "Dead Putting Society":
Lisa: What is the sound of one hand clapping? Bart: Piece of cake. [clenches his hand so the fingers slap against the palm] Lisa: No, Bart, it's a 3000-year-old riddle with no answer. It's supposed to clear your mind of conscious thought. Bart: No answer? Lisa, listen up! [clenches his hand again]
And also heavily lampshaded in "Mother Simpson", as seen in the page quote.
Patrick: When did the fun go away, Spongebob? Spongebob: Right after you went over that cliff.
Used in Total Drama World Tour, when Chris was trying to tell the contestants that one of them would have to ride in the baby carriage as part of their challenge.
Chris: And what's a baby carriage without a baby? Owen: Oooh! A SHOPPING CART! Chris: It was a rhetorical question!
The Beast With A Billion Backs has a similar example:
Farnsworth: I know this anomaly is terrifying, but, as scientists, is it not our sworn duty to seek out knowledge, even at the cost of our very lives? Stephen Hawking's head: No.
"Love's Labours Lost In Space" has this inversion:
Zapp Brannigan: We have failed to uphold Brannigan's Law. However, I made it with a hot alien babe. And, in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars? [Beat] Kif, I'm asking you a question!
Similar to the Futurama example, the episode Predator of Sealab 2021 has this inverted example:
Stormy: You and I may have to repopulate the human species, Debby!
Debby: That's disgusting!
Stormy: (flirtingly) Is it? ...[beat]… (seriously) Well is it?
Debby: YES!
The bit is echoed later in the same episode with Captain Murphy and Dr. Quinn.
Has happened to Eddy a couple times on Ed Edd N Eddy.
Eddy: Do I look like twenty bucks or what? Edd: "Or what?" is a good question...
Eddy: I was born to fleece, Double D! Do you know who I think I am? Edd: Unfortunately, yes.
Eddy: What could be more important than Master Eddy? Ed: COOKIE DOUGH!! Yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum!
Maybe he's learning his lesson: in The Movie, Eddy, having gotten stranded in the middle of the desert with his friends, says to Double D, "Have I ever steered you wrong? Don't answer that."
NightmareMoon: Am I not royal enough for you? Don't you know who I am? Pinkie Pie: Ooh, ooh, more guessing games! Um, Hokey Smokes? How 'bout... Queen Meanie? No, Black Snooty! Black Snooty!
[cue Applejack trying to shut Pinkie up by stuffing a cupcake in her mouth]
Pinkie does it again in "Dragonshy":
Rainbow Dash: Hey! What are you waiting for, an invitation? Pinkie Pie: Ooh, I think I have one in my bag!
Sweetie Belle gets in on the act in "Sisterhooves Social":
Rarity: Sweetie Belle, what am I going to do with you?! Sweetie Belle: Oh, we could paint together! We could ride bikes, play chess, sing a song, catch frogs, pillow fight... Rarity: That's not what I meant!
The Abridged SeriesFriendship is Witchcraft changes this exchange, though keeps the rhetorical part. When Sweetie Belle accidentally activates Rarity's one-use, self hugging sweater, this exchange occurs;
Rarity: Oh, now who is going to hug me? [Beat] Sweetie-Bot: Sweetie Belle!
In one episode of Rocky and Bullwinkle, Boris says something to the effect of "Do I look like the kind of guy who'd lie to you? Don't answer that."
Also
Boris: What did I ever do to deserve this? Natasha: Well... Boris: Don't answer that.
Fred: Have I ever given you a bum steer? Barney: Well I... Fred: [covering Barney's mouth] Don't answer that!
Daffy Duck while flattering a cop in the Looney Tunes short "Hollywood Daffy": "What's Errol Flynn got that you ain't got? [to audience] Don't answer that!"
In "Kitty Kornered", after Sylvester and his fellow cats have been put out on a freezing-cold night:
Sylvester: Are we men, or are we mice? Small Cat: I like cheese... Sylvester: (dope slaps the small cat) Smack!
Jimmy: Would you have a good date with a sandwich? Beezy: *begins drooling* Jimmy: Don't answer that.
Phineas And Ferb: "You wanna live forever?" "Was that an option?"
In the Beetlejuice episode "Poultrygeist," Beetlejuice is tormented by a sentient roast chicken from his refrigerator that has an answer for every question which it writes on a note pad. Lydia has the solution—ask it questions that have no answer.
Lydia: What's the sound of one hand clapping? (Chicken is about to write but is stumped)
Beetlejuice: And if a log falls on a lumberjack in the forest and no one's around, does he make a sound? (Chicken now getting frustrated)
Lydia: (winks to B.J.) Now here's the clincher. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? (Chicken loses it and explodes)
An episode of Johnny Test where Johnny uses a device to reanimate the corpses of Porkbelly's founding fathers has this exchange:
Lila: Johnny, how many times have your father and I said not to bring back the dead?!
In the earlier instance, Max is trying to convince PJ to ask Pete to take him fishing. This probably would have worked better if Pete weren't a Jerkass who treats PJ very poorly:
Max: Aww, Peej! Fishing with your dad! What could be more fun?
PJ: Eating glass! You got any idea what fishing with him is like!?
PJ is just as guilty as Max is of giving Pete too much credit in this form, however, as he asks this when it's discovered Pete has been stealing water from Goofy's pipe. PJ, at least, catches himself:
PJ: Wait, what's that supposed to mean, Max, huh? Are you suggesting that my dad would do something unethical or dishonest? (realization) 'Scuse me. For the sake of our friendship, don't answer that.
In the Five-Episode Pilot of Gargoyles, when names are being given to the gargoyles that don't have any, the one who would be named Hudson argues against the ludicrousy of naming everything, asking if the sky and the river have names. He is then told that the river in question is called the Hudson River.
Skippy: You said keno was legal in Burbank, you said Magilla Gorilla was a woman, you said—
Slappy: Can it!
Inverted in the Gravity Falls episode "The Time Traveler's Pig":
Blendin: Do you have any idea how many rules you just broke? [Beat] I'm asking. I wasn't there. It was probably a lot, right?
Real Life
Harold Wilson, British Prime Minister in the 1960s once gave a speech in dockyard town of Chatham. Wilson extolled the virtues of the navy, and asked a rhetorical question: "And why am I saying all this?" A heckler from the crowd replied: "Because you are in Chatham!"
This is sometimes a characteristic of Asperger's Syndrome. People with the condition may not realise that a question that was asked to them was rhetorical, and may try to honestly answer it, leading to awkwardness at best and outright anger at worst.
