If loving her is a heartache for me And if holding her means that I have to bleed Then I am the martyr and love is to blame [...] If right is leaving, I'd rather be wrong.
A character devotedly in love with someone who is highly troubled or dislikable, the kind of person very few in real life would stick with. The Love Interest isn't merely a Jerk with a Heart of Gold or even Troubled, but Cute: he (or she; both sexes can play either role) has serious psychological issues, an utterly Jerkass personality, or both, all of which makes a healthy, happy relationship unlikely.
Love Martyrs are fully aware of their beloveds' faults but willingly endure the insults and troubles they dish out because they believe their unconditional love is strong enough for both of them and/or will eventually reform their beloveds into better persons. What separates the Love Martyr from the Mad Lover is that the Love Martyr and the beloved are in a relationship, albeit a twisted one, and the love is ostensibly mutual, but the beloved pays so little attention to the martyr's needs that his/her 'love' verges on Informed Ability. Very often, others will point out to the character that the beloved would make a bad boyfriend or girlfriend, which advice the Love Martyr inevitably ignores or dismisses.
The Love Martyr is supposed to showcase the kind of pure and selfless love that can bring out the good side in even the most damaged and embittered people. If the beloved has formerly shown signs of potential goodness and believably develops into a decent person because of the martyr's love, the relationship can change into a genuine Love Redeems scenario. However, the less evidence that is given of the basic goodness or reform capability of the love interest, the less convincing the Rule of Romantic becomes, and the more it seems that the martyr is sacrificing himself or herself naively for an unhealthy love. When the martyr is a girl and her beloved is a troubled boy, this is often All Girls Want Bad Boys taken to extremes.
More often than not the core of most fanfics written by teenage girls putting Draco in Leather Pants for their Mary Sue and self-inserts to redeem with the power of like-OMG true lub. (Or the power of like-OMG good sex — or more accurately the power of Ikea Erotica).
On occasion the martyr becomes the beloved's Morality Pet, and when s/he dies it prompts the other into a Heel Face Turn. But at other times — and this is Truth in Television more often than not — the lovers never reform their beloveds, not even if they sacrifice to the point of death.
The Love Martyr trope is not exclusively found in romantic pairings. Hero-worshiping younger siblings who look up to their jerkass (and sometimes outright evil) brothers or sisters as the best of role models, and children who desperately try to please notoriously obstinate parents, prove that familial love can be just as blind (and hurt just as much).
Compare/contrast Mad Love, where the person in love is depicted as hopelessly blind if not outright Ax Crazy; his or her affection is clearly wasted upon someone who doesn't care one bit (but is sometimes happy to take advantage of the situation). See also All Take and No Give, Monster Fangirl, Sunk Cost Fallacy. Often goes hand in hand with Why Would Anyone Take Him Back?.
Can be Truth in Television.
Examples
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Anime & Manga
Mikiya Kokutou from Kara no Kyoukai fits this trope to a T. In the face of being completely ignored by the decidedly-unstable Shiki and finding her standing in front of a headless corpse, he decides to believe she isn't the Serial Killer and sits in her garden every night in order to watch over her. Eventually, she comes out, smiles warmly, and tries to kill him with a knife. When she realizes she can't bring herself to kill him, she throws herself in front of a car in a suicide attempt and ends up in a coma for two years, where he visits her every weekeven after she tried to kill him.It seems to work, insofar in that she eventually comes to care about him, and limits herself in her fights to avoid killing in the end for Mikiya's sake. But even that has the opposite effect when that very caring makes her kill Lio when she thinks he killed Mikiya, exactly what Mikiya told her not to do and Mikiya decides to stay with Shiki, saying he will have to bear her sins in her place in order to be with her.
Electra from Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water who resigns herself to just continue being Shell-Shocked Veteran Nemo's surrogate daughter despite her own feelings for him, at least until his real daughter Nadia shows up again.
Hot Gimmick and many other older-audience shojo works. Hatsumi of Hot Gimmick falls in love with Ryouki, the man who blackmails her into a master-slave relationship over a bought pregnancy test. Despite Ryouki constantly making her feel like dirt for not having her entire world revolving around him and slapping her in fits of jealous rage, she's so stubbornly passive and so emotionally damaged by all the abuse that she sticks with him in the end because she just can't help her feelings and thinks that if they marry, he'll start being nice to her.
Shuichi from Gravitation is unconditionally in love with Yuki and lets himself be gang-raped for him, despite Yuki constantly belittling him, showing little affection towards him when he doesn't want sex, and claiming that the only person he loves is a dead man. Yuki does show signs of defrosting as early as Volume 1, but it takes a very long time for him to begin acting like a normal boyfriend to Shuichi.
A more comedic example would be Urusei Yatsura. Yes, Ataru's unfaithfulness to his fiancée is supposed to be one of the main sources of humor, but in a more serious portrayal, the question of whyLum, who's got everyone else lovestruck by her, would put up with a lech like him would stick out like a sore thumb, especially when it becomes clear that her electric zaps won't stop his skirt-chasing. Ataru's "marriage proposal" to her was meant for someone else, Shinobu, in the first place.
This is hinted at throughout the series, more so during the ending (and final movie) — Ataru may be ugly, kinda stupid, and have the biggest libido in the universe (No, really)... but he genuinely is a really good person at heart. Lum can see through everything he does (being a bit of a lech herself) and puts up with him because of that.
An alternative character interpretation of Ataru is that Ataru acts the way he does because he hates himself and does not believe himself to be a good person. This is more prevalent in the manga. In the manga, Takahashi draws Ataru to have a very gentle-looking face when he is at his best behavior as opposed to his normal, stupid expression.
Subverted Revolutionary Girl Utena almost all the relationships in the series appear to involve Love Martyrs, but in all of them, especially the primary one between Akio and Anthy, disillusionment has already settled in between both parties, and Love Martyrs only stays in the relationship because they're too terrified to live any other way.
She was smart enough not to have any extraordinary expectations for their relationship, but Bulma of Dragon Ball Z did put up with Vegeta long enough to have two kids by him.
A better DBZ example would be Chi-Chi, who stuck by Goku, despite his having ditched her and Gohan (and later Goten) to go have fun, in multiple years-long stretches. He was dead in one of those stretches, but that's usually a sign it's time to move on.
Yukiteru Amano from Mirai Nikki, good God. YunoGasai may not be abusive or cruel towards him specifically (at least not until the end of the Survival Game), but she is the Goddess of Yandere for a reason. He may not exactly like it, but he's willing to tolerate everything from witnessing her carve a gory path of destruction through what has to be hundreds of people throughout the series (some of which are even people he cares about), kidnap him and chain him to a chair for a full week, smother him with a combination of extremely aggressive affection and extremely paranoid jealousy, in which she is more than willing to Murder the Hypotenuse, real or imagined. It's by no means a healthy relationship, but it's impossible to deny that he does come to genuinely fall in love with her over time.
Ekou of Yu-Gi-Oh! GX, who allows Amon to kill her as a sacrifice to master Exodia the Forbidden One and is actually happy that she fits the conditions of the sacrifice (being the person he loves the most). She is reputedly named after a Love Martyr from Greek mythology, the nymph Echo.
Mokuba from Yu-Gi-Oh! will follow and support his Noble Demon big brother whatever he does (even if he doesn't always approve of his actions). Justified in that Seto is probably the closest thing to a parent Mokuba ever had, and that he acts not half as jerkish towards Mokuba as he does to everyone else.
Yumi Komagata from Rurouni Kenshin could be seen as an example, as she lets her lover Makoto Shishio stab through her in order to damage his enemy, and is actually happy that she was of some use to him. Then again, Yumi herself was fully awareof the risk, and Shishio himself explains that to a shocked Kenshin, as he holds the dying Yumi in his arms to comfort her until she passes away.
Naota from FLCL confesses his love for Haruko in the final episode... while she's trying to kill him. At the end of the episode, he wises up and decides not to follow her into space when invited to and she leaves to continue her chase after the Pirate King Atomsk, telling Naota "You're Just a Kid after all."
Fate Testarossa in the first season of Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha, who was fine with being whipped repeatedly by her mother for being a bad child because she remembers a time when her mother was kind and, you know, sane. Unfortunately, her memories aren't quite what they seem...
After coming to terms with her feelings about her mother, she still loves her as the one who brought her into the world, but credits her teacher Linith and her adoptive mother Lindy with raising her.
Soi in Fushigi Yuugi loves cold-hearted, emotionally stunted Nakago enough to let him use her for sexual healing and take a fatal sword wound for him.
Spoileriffic example from Princess Tutu: Rue is practically this. She puts up with her "Father's" emotional and physical abuse, blaming herself for the Raven's behavior and believing she just needs to be a "better daughter." When she taints Mytho's heart with the Raven's blood, he begins to take on her father's abusive personality—but, as Mytho says, she "never stopped loving." In the end, her efforts are rewarded—the Raven's poison is reversed by Rue's declaration of love and Mytho's pure-hearted personality is restored, and he confesses love for her in return and takes her away to be his princess.
Sister Yukariko Sanada's relationship with the manipulative art teacher Ishigami in Mai-HiME makes her one of these. She genuinely loves him, but he's more concerned with getting the other girls to turn against each other so that Yukariko can be the last one standing, goading her into pulling a Wounded Gazelle Gambit. She eventually gets fed up with having to go against her own ideals, and after her confrontation with Mai, she turns her bow-and-arrows against Ishigami, while tearfully admitting her Love Martyr status as they sink into the ground along with her CHILD.
In the ending, after they're revived, they're inexplicably back together and she's pregnant with his child.
Echidna from Black Cat is this way for Creed. Despite being an extremely attractive, popular and world-famous actress who could definitely find a much nicer man, she chooses to stay by Creed's side. And it's made clear that she doesn't go through with doing evil things because she really likes to - it's all for Creed's happiness. Even though Creed is shown openly to be incredibly obsessed with Train and have very disturbing sexual fantasies about Train. In the anime, it is shown that she notices Creed's unhealthy obsession with Train, and therefore harbors resentment towards Train.
In both adaptations, she gets him in the end. In the anime, Creed even does a Heel Face Turn soon afterward. In the manga, she gets him more as his nurse maid after he has his major Villainous Breakdown.
Kaname Chidori from the Full Metal Panic Overload gag manga. Due to Sousuke going through extreme Flanderization, she can't actually even be considered a Tsundere in this version, considering that her reactions of lightly smacking him are an under reaction to the atrocities he commits. It's hard to understand why she even continues to have hopes that he'll return her feelings and treat her like a girlfriend, considering how many countless times he's completely ruined their romantic moments without remorse and generally acted like a sociopathic Ax Crazy maniac. Funnily, after the disaster and their ruined moment, she'll be the one who has an epiphany-esque, touching moment where she thinks that she "understands him a bit better now, and should have been more open-minded." Sure, quite a bit of it is played for comedy, but I'll be damned if their relationship doesn't look like an abusive one.
The twins Yu Fang and Yu Lan towards Gauron. Granted, he probably did stuff with them that would make them feel that he loved them back. But all in all, he isn't shy about showing that he only really seems to care about using them for his plans to ensnare Sousuke / kill Sousuke's love interest. It's made pretty clear to them that the only one he has eyes for is the 16-year-old boy he has an unhealthy obsession with. The fact that he ignores all the abuse they go through because of working in Amalgam (including getting repeatedly raped by Gates ever since they were young) seems to be a pretty good indicator that he doesn't care much for their well being. Despite all this, they are still so incredibly in love and loyal to him. "Anything for Sensei" indeed.
In the final arc of Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni, Tomitake saves Takano's life even after she tries to kill Rika and her Nakama.
In a manga-only arc, Akira proves to be one himself after Natsumi stabs him in response to him trying to give her a Cooldown Hug. He ends the arc swearing to stay by her side and to always love her. Granted, he does know that she's under the influence of a Hate Plague. In the DS version, he actually doesn't do this, and Natsumi kills herself as a result, blaming him for her death. He promptly crosses the Despair Event Horizon, accepting her conclusion.
Platonic/Paternal example from Baccano!: Huey is not a very good father. He emotionally manipulates his daughter Chane on a regular basis and doesn't even think of her as human. Even so, Chane is fiercely and impenetrably loyal to him in a way that disturbs even him.
Huey: What loyalty...She accepted my request not to share it with anyone. And Chane, my daughter, chose to lose her voice. Hey, Elmer...do you ever believe a pitiful guinea pig like her will ever experience happiness in it's life?
Also, Lua and Ladd are a textbook case. Lua, Ladd's fiance, shows unwavering loyalty to her man, even though he's an Ax Crazyserial killer. Somewhat subverted in the fact that he really does love her. Which in his world apparently translates to telling her how much he wants to kill her.
For Ladd, "I'll kill you last" —> "I'm saving you for last because you're the person I'll enjoy killing the most" —> "I love you more than anyone else baby!"
Ranma ½ has Mousse, whose applicability to this trope is one of the reasons why he can be considered The Woobie. Not only does he continue to long for a woman who clearly is interested in another man, but he can't bring himself to do the Best Her To Bed Her betrothal method either. It's also mentioned that he has challenged her in the past; it's just she's always been able to beat him. It's also mentioned that he can't challenge her in this manner while she's engaged to Ranma (hence his fixation on attempts to Murder the Hypotenuse) and at least strongly implied that as a fellow tribesman it would be neither needed or binding in the first place.
Really, depending on a viewer's sympathies, any of the characters caught up in the Love Dodecahedron could come off as a Love Martyr, as all of them honestly try to open their heart to the person they love, but none of them receive any attention from the person they desire. Even Ranma and Akane have no real clue whether or not their feelings for each other are reciprocated.
Played for laughs in the Sleep Incense arc. In one of Akane's dreams, she's a love martyr working hard to try and please her beloved Ranma. Too bad he's a perverted Jerkass who treats her like crap and has at least 27 wives. Back in the real world, she tearfully scrubs the floor and looks dramatic, while Ranma wonders what she's dreaming about.
Misa Amane from Death Note. She halves her lifespan, twice, for Light's sake, and is shown to be willing to do anything for him, since he killed the guy who ruined her life when he murdered her parents. And Light... it's made very clear that he has absolutely no interest in her other than using her to kill people. Yes, even when she's only wearing sexy lingerie and is throwing herself at him.
This is also the reason the readers pity her, despite the fact she is a mass murderer.
Kiyomi Takada gets it even worse. All she wants is to be Kira's goddess. Oops.
Wormmon is this to the Digimon Emperor. He puts up with all of Ken's abuse in the hopes that one day he would redeem and accept Wormmon as his Digimon. As for the results, let's just say that this anime's a little more on the idealistic side.
Probably also Kaori from Akira, though she's not developed as much as some of the others. She's willing to stick by Tetsuo in spite of his extreme psychological instability and the fact that he never really seems to reciprocate her devotion. It ultimately leads to her horrific and pointless death.
Following the manga, it can be also said that Tetsuo did somewhat care for Kaori but was already fucked up beyond belief when they met, thus he didn't get a real chance to develop something for the girl beyond making her his partial Morality Chain. He WAS really pissed off and upset when his Smug Snake assistant shot her in the back and killed her; IIRC, after he assisted Kaori in his last minutes, he killed the guy gruesomely and carried Kaori's lifeless body around in his arms
Sasame from Pretear hovers between this and Mad Love. On one hand, he's genuinely devoted, is willing to sacrifice his life for the girl he loves (and eventually DOES), and does indeed earn her love in the end. On the other hand, he's in love with the Dark Magical Girl, so to earn her love he performs a Face Heel Turn and tries to help her destroy the world as we know it.
Wang Liu Mei's Battle Butler Hong Long of Mobile Suit Gundam 00 turns out to be one of these. He is actually Mei's older brother, but his parents decided to make Mei the head of the family instead of Hong Long. Wang Liu Mei consistently resents Hong Long and treats him like crap, even bawling him out and blaming him for all her problems when Nena turns on them, but this doesn't stop Hong Long from sacrificing his life to try and save her from Nena.
Mary Magdalene in Chrono Crusade is mostly around to embody this trope in the Back Story. When she meets Chrono, he's a bitter and jaded soldier that even threatens that he'd kill her if Aion orders him to. However, Mary sticks with him, knowing that (as she says) Chrono really "doesn't want to hurt anyone" and continues to reach out to him until he starts to soften. It's played even straighter when it's revealed that Mary, as a seer, had a reoccurring dream of a man named Chrono taking her life with tears streaming down his face. Eventually her dream comes true—he makes a contract with her and accidentally kills her in the process. This is one of the examples where it works—when we see Chrono in the present day of the story, he still has issues but he's more prone to genuinely make an effort to reach out to people. She also was the key to him betraying the Big Bad and becoming one of the good guys.
Athena teaches Hayate by method of kicking him in the stomach and possible lethal sword combat. When asked by one of his friends how he feels about her ten years later, he decides he loves her.
Zetsuai1989: At one point Kouji cuts off his own left arm so that his family will leave Izumi alone. And it took Izumi quite a long time for him to warm up to Kouji.
Ritsuka from Loveless is a platonic version of this toward his older brother Seimei - even the knowledge that Seimei was a murderer who faked his own death as a twisted test of Ritsuka's love and who constantly abused Soubi cannot sway Ritsuka's devotion.
Zero No Tsukaima: Sometimes Saito verges on this—on occasion Louise goes beyond mere Tsundere-type behavior into outright sociopathic sadism (such as the time she flogged him unconscious with an actual whip), although this depends on your opinion, given that they're the Official Couple.
Rolo Haliburton is this for Lelouch Lamperouge in Code Geass, no matter if his affection for Lelouch is romantic or brotherly. Although Rolo's no saint himself, he became so attached to his 'brother' that in episode 19 he sacrificed his life to save Lelouch's. When Lelouch was betrayed and abandoned by everyone, Rolo was the only one who stayed with him, even after Lelouch admitted he was just using Rolo and had tried to kill him numerous times; he then saved Lelouch by overloading his Evil Eye to carry him to safety, fully aware that the strain from using it for so long with so much range would be too much for his heart to endure. As Rolo lays dying, he tells Lelouch that even if Lelouch was just using him and the time he spent with him was fake, to Rolo it was real and it meant something to him.
Ohgi was one for Villetta, who, having long since regained her memories, tried to kill him, and had incapacitated him earlier during the Black Rebellion.
Candy Candy: Candy skirts the line sometimes, in regards to Terry.
Arguably Doumeki in Xxx HO Li C for Watanuki. He's willing to make Heroic Sacrifices for Watanuki's sake, even though the latter makes it no secret that he's jealous of him (because he thinks his crush Himawari is in love with Doumeki) and is very much a Tsundere to him. And now, half an eye, a lot of blood, and six plus years later, he's still devoted solely to Watanuki, who grounded himself forever, unable to age and unable to leave, inside Yuuko's shop after her disappearance, pining after her and waiting for the day she may or may not return..
By the end of the series it's no longer Shizuka Doumeki staying by Watanuki's side, rather it's his great-grandson, meaning that Doumeki does at some point have offspring with someone else.
Word Of God states Doumeki married Kohane, who incidentally also is in love with Watanuki. The likeliest thing to have happened is they chose to get together to make sure they'd have descendants to keep Watanuki from being alone. This would mean Kohane herself is also a Love Martyr in her own right.
A rare sibling example is wonderfully demonstrated in the one-shot manga "Smargs Won't Sing".
It turns out to be a Jerkass Façade by the older sister in order to be hated by everyone as her end of the contract with the Smarg so that she will be its only victim. The younger sister seems to be aware of it, as she gives up her voice to get another Smarg to protect her from it. It does take an extraordinary amount of love and patience to endure that behavior for three years, though, even considering the circumstances.
Franz d'Epinay of Gankutsuou. He is willing to sacrifice everything for his childhood friend Albert, whom he secretly loves. Albert, for his part, is completely oblivious to Franz's feelings for him, which leads to lots of Oblivious Guilt Slinging.
Ai No Kusabi: Despite his treatment as a Sex Slave, Riki acknowledges his feelings of love and goes back to his master, Iason, to be Together in Death at the end when he would have been free.
Gilbert from Kaze to Ki no Uta. He is clearly completely aware of the fact that Auguste goes out of his way to manipulate and hurt him, yet he is completely devoted to him anyway.
Zoids: New Century Zero has Harry Champ, a rich kid hopelessly obsessed with firebrand Leena Toros, despite the fact that the latter would (and often does) gleefully blast his mecha to scrap. (Leena has been known to take advantage of this behavior at times.)
Sayaka Miki from Puella Magi Madoka Magica becomes a Magical Girl—committing herself to an endless war against Eldritch Abominations—to heal her childhood friend Kyousuke Kamijo, a violinist with a severely injured hand whom she has a crush on. She visits the hospital every day to nurse him, believing that "miracles and magic" can bring him hope. Kyousuke, in turn, does not even tell her when he is leaving the hospital and remains completely oblivious to her feelings, leading to Sayaka's mental breakdown and eventual demise. In the last episode, she is given the chance to cancel her wish and bring herself back to life but refuses to do so because she is fine just to see him play again.
No matter what her own fans say, what happened to her wasn't only because of Kamijou — she had severe issues from before she became a Magical Girl. I.e., her self-worth is next to nonexistent, and her view of love as a whole is painfully unrealistic and harmful since she seems to think it's only about the other person and not oneself as well. Sayaka is a massive {{deconstruction} of Love Martyr, as the series shows that only desiring your loved ones's happiness while neglecting your own is not a good thing at all.
Random Madoka Magica watcher: “This is what happens when you try to be that selfless girl that only cares about the guy she loves and his happiness and can’t understand that we ALL get jealous and insecure.”
Haku from Naruto. Zabuza used him like a tool, and Haku bluntly stated that Zabuza was welcome to do so. As long as he was able to help him, Haku did not mind being treated like crap, and he was as far as to die to save Zabuza's life.
If Subaru from X 1999 doesn't count as a love martyr toward Seishirou even after the latter deceived him, beat him to a bloody pulp, crippled his grandmother, and murdered his beloved sister, then the fans don't know what does. Also, Subaru thinks about revenge for awhile but decides that in the end, he can't go through with it—opting instead to try to be a big enough nuisance to Seishirou so that he would kill him.
Subaru: Even if you forgot that you killed me soon afterward. Even if I was just one of the sakura’s many victims... At least if it were you...
This trope combined with Stockholm Syndrome characterizes most of Jonah Matsuka's relationship with Keith Anyan in Toward the Terra: Keith is actively abusive toward Matsuka, claiming to be using him as a tool for the purpose of exterminating other Mu and telling Matsuka in no uncertain terms that he plans to kill him when that's done, but Matsuka remains convinced that Keith is not as cold and ruthless as he behaves and goes to considerable lengths to protect him. Ultimately, Matsuka shocks Keith by sacrificing his own life to save him, and dies content in the knowledge that Keith genuinely feels sorrow over his death.
Ryoko from Area 88. Shin breaks her heart several times through the series, and yet she continues to love him. She even reunites with him in the end, after he abandoned her to return to Asran.
In Fate Zero, Kariya Matou has this for Aoi and her daughter Sakura. After finding out that Sakura has been taken to be 'trained' aka to get raped by bugs by the Matou, he volunteers to take her place and win the Grail in return for her freedom, going through horrendous Body Horror which will kill him in a month just to get strong enough. Problem is, while he hopes that by saving Sakura, Aoi will love him, he doesn't realise that Aoi truly loves her husband Tokiomi, and he goes straight into Mad Love when Aoi finds him with Tokiomi's corpse and accuses him of killing him (Kariya did want to kill Tokiomi, but it wasn't him this time) and says that he's never loved anyone. Kariya snaps, and nearly strangles Aoi to death.
Although not in a romantic way, Jeremy from A Cruel God Reigns qualifies as this almost perfectly. He allows himself to be beaten and raped by his stepfather for months on end, even before Greg and his mother, Sandra, got married. He did all of this because he wants his mother to be happy and fears that if she finds out her lover and dream marriage are ruined by his confession of the the abuse, that she will either hate him, commit suicide, or both.
Nadia is also a good example of this. She relentless pursues and loves Ian despite the fact that he cheats on her with Jeremy.
Kureno from Fruits Basket. He wants to redeem Akito, but despite all his efforts, he only serves to remind her that the curse is breaking, and thus he continues to be used and abused without helping either of them. He's not really in love with her (although he certainly cares about her), and he knows that Akito doesn't really love him, either.
Ballads
In Child BalladThe False Lover Won Back, the heroine chases after her mounted lover on foot. He tries repeatedly to buy her off, until finally he decides to marry her after all.
In Child BalladChild Waters, the hero insists that the heroine dress as foot page and walk on foot while he rides. When she goes into labor and is delivered of his son, he decides to marry her after all.
Comicbooks
Harley Quinn. Oh, God, Harley Quinn, going back and forth between a girlfriend who treats her like dirt and a boyfriend who frequently tries to kill her. She bounces back and forth between this trope and Mad Love, depending on how sympathetically her romantic woes are treated in the current story.
Rayek in Elf Quest. He's a former Jerk AssAnti-Hero who's trying to repent. His love interest, Winnowill, is an ancient megalomaniac bent on world domination. When she kills herself to gain ultimate power as a spirit, he uses his Chekhov's Skill of absorbing souls into himself in order to trap her inside his mind forever. He can't ever die for fear of releasing her spirit, he can't go near other elves ever again for fear of getting them close to Winnowill, and she torments his mind and body every day of her existence. He still loves her.
Sigyn's portrayal in The Sandman is this trope played for as much tragedy as possible. When the blinded, paralyzed Loki is returned to his prison, Odin reminds Sigyn that Loki abandoned her and that she does not need to share his punishment. Sigyn silently refuses to abandon her husband despite everything. As Loki curses her in his impotent rage at his predicament, Sigyn tearfully whispers "I am so happy that you are back, my love." Loki's response is mocking laughter and more curses.
Fan Fiction
Caphriel, from "The Sacred and the Profane".?Caphriel... thought he could somehow make it better, thought his love could seal the cracks in Zirah's sanity, because his love for Zirah was desperate and overwhelming and it felt like a force greater than himself, and in those first few heady centuries he'd thought he could do anything. Then he'd found that no amount of love would ever heal the permanent dislocation of Zirah's mind, but he kept kissing Zirah because... he couldn't seem to stop.?
Mao from Code Geass Mao Of The Deliverance is clearly shown to be this for C.C., who lies to, tries to manipulate, and ultimately abandons him. He even lampshades this at one point, excusing her actions because she's a Broken Bird and deciding that he doesn't care how she treated him so long as they can be together.
In Hunting The Unicorn,Blaine is shown as this. It's not as bad as most examples since he's currently with Kurt, but what happened before is worrying. First is his platonic martyrdom, as he constantly makes excuses for his estranged father; then comes the revelation that chaste, oblivious, idealistic Blaine is not a virgin. At seventeen.
From Bad to Worse. Blaine is implied to think Sex Equals Love, so he lost his virginity at sixteen to a guy who either didn't notice or didn't care that he was leading Blaine on. Later on, we find out that Blaine tried to invokeSex Equals Love, which makes it dumberandsadder. And in the nineteenth chapter, after waking up in a basement with Wes and David, the first person he tries to call is his dad. The one who hasn't talked to him in two yearsbecause he came out.
Sophie's Choice: Although the titular choice is (at least in common usage) applied to a Sadistic Choice, she also finally chooses to stay with her dangerously insane boyfriend rather than escape, and dies for it.
Blades of Glory has a sister who acts as a henchgirl to her selfish and murderous older siblings and adores them despite their overt manipulations and dirt-like treatment of her.
Vertigo: Judy is introduced as a coarse, sharp-tongued woman, but her love for Scottie, a man who's interested in her only because she looks like the dead woman he was obsessively in love with, causes her to gradually lose her forceful personality and ultimately her identity. The clincher comes when Judy realizes that Scottie will never love her for herself, but decides that she doesn't care that Scottie is forcing her to change her appearance and clothes to become a replacement for his dead lover as long as it results in him returning her love. And she doesn't even get a happy ending, as in the end Scottie discovers that she was actually the dead woman he was obsessed with, which was part of a bigger plot, drags her to the same bell tower where she faked her death, and she accidentally tumbles off the roof to her death — this time for real.
Padme refuses to give up on Anakin Skywalker because... well it's hard to say. Probably because he loved her and he was honestly a better person when he was with her, as far as she can tell.
In the original trilogy, their son Luke also refuses to give up on Anakin once he learns Anakin is his father. The only reason he surrendered himself in the third movie was to save his father from the Dark Side. This time it works since Anakin could not bear to see his son being tortured to death by Palpatine's Force Lightning.
Evelyn in The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio constantly has a smile on her face and supports her family almost exclusively through winning contests for jingles, since her husband is an alcoholic who spends most of his money on booze.
The Maids is all about this: main heroes are two psycho lesbians taking turns to be each other's martyrs.
Mimi in Bitter Moon plays this utterly straight and eventually wishes she hadn't.
Mitsuyo in Akunin is in love with the titular villain, Shimizu, even though he's violent and borderline abusive towards her. Even after he kidnaps her and admits to being a murderer, she stands by him and tries to convince her worried sister that he's "not such a bad person".
Literature
The main character, Alice, of The One Who Waited can be said to be at least a partial example of this trope. Particularly come the dramatic end of the book...
Despite his abrasive personality, stalking tendencies, and overall dangerous nature, Bella of Twilight loves Edward and is willing to give her life for him... repeatedly. In Breaking Dawn, she's also willing to die for her unborn child that is killing her from the inside. She also risked her life to save her mother on the first book.
I would say this is mutual. Edward suffers when he is close to Bella due to having to resist the urge to kill her, when she is in danger that she usually places herself to, when she is clearly attracted to Jacob, and risking her life by having a baby knowing full well that Edward would kill himself if she dies. He still thinks the world of her and would give his... existence for her.
Rhett Butler in Gone with the Wind. He does everything for Scarlett because he is in love with her and believes someday she will realize that she loves him as well, and endures watching her moon over Ashley Wilkes and just generally abuse him.
More like a Lust Martyr, but Nathaniel Graison in the Anita Blake series certainly qualifies; the wereleopard, despite being in a love triangle with the series' titular character with fawning devotion to her, had become so submissive and addicted to extreme sadomasochism from his prostitute and male stripper days (to the point where his last pimp had to ensure he didn't become the willing participant in a Snuff Film with any if their clients), he actually threatens to leave the triangle if Anita didn't start sexually using and abusing him like he wanted her to.
In Catherine Called Birdy, Catherine's mother notes that her husband is in fact a greedy, mean miser but it doesn't seem to bother her much.
Considering it was set in the Middle Ages, she didn't have much of a choice in the matter.
Evie from The Frog King puts up with far more from the main character than she should. Until she stops, at least.
The eponymous Great Gatsby is a classic example. Everything he does after he meets Daisy — embezzlement, less-than-scrupulous methods of becoming rich — is all done to win her heart. He even takes the blame for Myrtle's death in Daisy's place, and ends up dying for it. The truly tragic part about all this is that Daisy, while she did have feelings for Gatsby, was merely a beautiful but spoiled, self-centered, and weak-willed woman who almost certainly didn't deserve Gatsby's unconditional love and devotion.
To say nothing of Myrtle herself.
In Orhan Pamuk's "The Museum of Innocence", Kemal's life revolves around Fusun, even if Kemal is engaged to someone else.
Perhaps also Basil Hallward, from The Picture Of Dorian Gray, at least in part. He obviously cares for Dorian very much, but Dorian blatantly prefers to spend time with Lord Henry, and becomes more and more evil as a result. All Basil can do is look on until Dorian berates and murders him just for coming to visit and speaking of the rumors surrounding Dorian Gray's disreputable acts!
Arguably Dorian's fiancee, Sybil. She falls head-over-heels for Dorian, the point in which she starts to give up on her fantastic acting ability because her love makes it seem false. When he yells at her for this, since it accidentally led to his embarrassment (he brought his friends to see her perform, only for her to do a subpar job), she starts weeping and begging for him to forgive her. And that night she decides to commit suicide, which is even more tragic since Gray repented his actions the next day and was going to visit her to apologize.
Diana Mayo of The Sheik. Nevermind that the titular character is an abusive rapist, she falls in love with him and is willing to do anything to please him.
Don Quixote: Part II, chapter LX, Don Vicente Tornellas has been shot by his fiancée Claudia Jeronima because she believed that Don Vicente wanted to marry another woman. Don Vicente's last words are to tell her that he was innocent, never intended to marry any other woman, and then he said before his death: my cruel fortune must have carried those tidings to thee to drive thee in thy jealousy to take my life; and to assure thyself of this, press my hands and take me for thy husband if thou wilt; I have no better satisfaction to offer thee for the wrong thou fanciest thou hast received from me.
In A Song of Ice and Fire, Lysa Tully's affections towards Magnificent Bastard, Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish, who uses this to his advantage to shamelessly manipulate and disposes of her when she reveals a bit too much about his plans to his protégée, Sansa Stark. From what we know of his backstory, Littlefinger himself has a few streaks of the Love Martyr in him as he remained obsessed with Lysa's sister, Catelyn, even after she rather callously rejected him at least twice.
The protagonist of Mika Waltari's novel, The Egyptian. He gives all he has to Nefernefernefer until he is ruined and needs to start a new life.
In J.R.R. Tolkien's The Silmarillion, Aredhel has this sort of relationship with Eöl. He trapped her in his forest, refusing to let her see her friends or family, and ends up fatally wounding her when she runs away. Even then, she begs her brother not to kill him as she lies on her deathbed.
Peeta for Katniss in The Hunger Games. He is willing to die for her, although she is too traumatized to let him into her heart until the end of the last book.
This trope is the major theme of Fifty Shades Of Grey, but subverted at the end when Anastasia leaves Grey because he is unable to return her love.
Hadassah fulfills this role towards Julia in a platonic way in The Mark of the Lion trilogy. Despite Julia’s abuse, selfishness, and attempt to have her killed in the arena, Hadassah remains Julia’s faithful servant and (sometimes only) true friend. In the midst of all her cruelty, Julia is desperate for Hadassah's attention, frequently begging her not to leave her despite that Hadassah gets absolutely nothing out of the relationship and is only hoping that her unconditional love towards Julia will open her eyes to the immorality and emptiness of her life.
The hero, Michael Hosea, of Redeeming Love is very much this at times. Because God told him to, he stays rigidly devoted to his wife Angel—a Broken Bird who is bitter, cynical, manipulative, and hates men—in pursuit of healing her deep emotional scarring caused by her childhood rape and years of forced prostitution. Angel is skeptical of his love and tries to manipulate him—even having no qualms about sleeping with other men. Even after she begins to love Michael back, she becomes flighty and angry, sometimes lashing out at him or on two occasions leaving him, but he still sticks by her as if she were the most upstanding and devoted wife in the world.
In The Dresden Files, Justine says she is willing to die for Thomas (an incubus who drains life force via sex,) despite him thinking of her as "food". She proves this in Blood Rites; when Thomas has been mortally wounded and needs to feed so badly that he would lose control and kill her, she willingly goes to him, asking only that Harry tell Thomas that she loves him. She actually survives the feeding (barely) because Thomas really did love her enough to keep his ravening demon in check, and later showed that he was consciously trying to convince himself that she was just food (if he admitted to himself that he loved her, he would be unable to touch her because love badly burns the lust-feeding incubus, even if the love is directed at him). In later books Justine recovers and the devotion they share for each other is completely mutual, and Word Of God puts them into Sickeningly Sweethearts territory.
Live-Action TV
Dr. Molly Clock from Scrubs notes that, as a psychologist, it's not surprising that she's attracted to emotionally damaged people. She stayed with her first boyfriend even after he stole a car and totalled it in the ensuing chase.
Which then leads to a Crowning Moment of Funny when JD, in an effort to impress her, psycho-analyzes himself and his issues in front of her. It works.
Da'an of Earth Final Conflict loves his son Zo'or, even after his repeated attempts on his life, and has even covered up for him a couple of times.
In Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, a not-so-straight example would be Tora Ziyal who was in love with Garak almost since their first meeting, despite the amount of frustration it caused her father (even pushing him to leave the station and leave her stranded on the other side of the front line when he joined the Dominion). The reason it's not a straight example of the trope is that while Garak was a very dangerous former agent of the Obsidian Order he was never the threat to Ziyal that Kira and Dukat had expected him to be: he always treated her gently and respectfully which effectively justified her faith in him even though it baffled everyone else including Garak himself, as he confessed to when Kira observes that Ziyal loved him after they both learn Ziyal has died.
Wilson puts up with an amazing amount of abuse from House in the name of friendship.
House has also forgiven some bad behavior from Wilson, such as not telling him he'd cured a patient, thinking it would teach House humility, but instead plunged him back into Vicodin abuse.
Dr. Allison "I like damaged people" Cameron. In her backstory, she fell in love with a man who she knew had a terminal illness, and married him just so he wouldn't die alone.
Cuddy too, when she dates House during Season Seven
Adama from Battlestar Galactica is more than willing to do it to himself for Roslin's sake, even though she herself treats him quite well.
Ellen slept with Cavil and stole resistance plans to keep Saul safe and then drank what she knew to be poison when Saul offered it to her.
Anyone who falls in love with Starbuck better gear up for some serious abuse.
Niles of Frasier, in the earlier days of Maris, which was shown retroactively when he's broke and panicking (he can't bring himself to go back this time, though): "Life with Maris wasn't so bad. It was my fault, after all! I was too rigid, I was always making demands! Eat something! Unlock this door! Don't throw that!"
When he was with Drusilla. She spent half of season 2 openly flirting (if not more) with Angelus right in front of Spike while he was in wheelchair. She also took Angelus' side in the final battle in the season finale, and then left Spike for a chaos demon. She seemed to "adore" Spike only as long as he was exactly the kind of big bad strong vampire she had helped mold him into because that's what she wanted in a partner.
Harmony regards herself as such in relation to Spike. He hardly ever hid the fact that he found her annoying and was only using her for sex, and (later on) as a Buffy substitute. He even staked her just because he was irritated by her blabbering (it didn't kill her only because she happened to be wearing the Gem of Amara)... and she still came back. Eventually when Spike tied up Buffy and Drusilla and was ranting over his spurned affections for them both Harmony finally had enough, yelled at him for ignoring his "actual" girlfriend in favor of drooling over them, shot him with a crossbow, tried to stake him, then broke up with him for good.
Life On Mars. WPC Anne Cartwright supports Sam Tyler despite his bizarre behaviour and the fact that she doesn't believe his story about being from the future. In one episode Sam decides that the only way to return to 2006 is to bring down his colleagues over a death-in-custody. Despite the fact that, if true, it would mean she'd be wiped out of existence, and if not, Sam has violated the unspoken "code of silence" among police of the era, Cartwright still agrees to stand by Sam. It's only in the finale when Sam confesses to being an undercover officer investigating police corruption that she finally turns against him.
In The Sopranos, Adrianna is this to Christopher. She believes that deep down Christopher is a good person and would choose her over the mob in a heartbeat. When she is forced to become an informant to the FBI, she tells Christopher and after the third beating she gives him the choice. Christopher chooses the mob and it results in Adrianna's death.
Dean and Sam from Supernatural put up with a lot of each other's major issues, though this is more Dean's thing, at least initially - Sam shuts off in season four, getting so bad even Dean doesn't know if Sam's human anymore. But he says he'll take Sam as is anyway, even when Castiel and Zachariah bribe him with heaven. And virgins.
Later on, despite a mutual decision to separate in season five, much of "Free to Be You and Me"'s subtext was how unhappy they were without the other.
Dean is also this way towards John: for a very long time, no matter how shitty John got, Dean would either forgive him completely or try and blank it out as best he can.
Then there's poor Castiel. Whether you're a shipper or not, he gives up everything for Dean, loses his Grace, his faith and (twice) his life - choosing to stay on Earth after every other angel has left in an apocalyptic world and breaking at the edges, and he did it, all of it, for Dean.
At the same time, Dean towards Castiel. No matter how angry Dean may get with Cas in the short-term, he always forgives him, and always wants him to come back when he is absent.
Blair Waldorf on Gossip Girl prostitutes herself to a man she loathes for Chuck Bass. However, she then realises that it's not healthy to love someone so much you'd do anything for them, and ends the relationship.
By season five the tables have turned and Chuck is now a Love Martyr for an increasingly unlikeable Blair.
Sterling "Stink" Patterson in The Adventures Of Shirley Holmes has shades of this for Molly Hardy, the main antagonist. In the beginning he's little more than a flunkie for her sociopathic plots, and he goes along willingly even though he knows it's wrong, just because he likes her. Eventually he figures out that she's just using him, and splits away from her.
Beck and Jade from Victorious. He's perfectly aware of her blatant rudeness and other faults. They usually make up at the end.
For example, in the episode Jade Dumps Beck, Jade gets jealous that he's hanging out with an attractive celebrity. But she instantly regrets it and gives him a rottweiller. Even though it almost kills his dad, they make up.
Degrassi: Alli’s first boyfriend, Johnny, ignores her in public, shows the naked pictures she sent him to his friends and lies about being a virgin. Her second boyfriend, Drew, cheats on her and tries to lie about it and she takes him back. Even Bianca points out she must have low self-esteem to take back a cheater.
Merlin: Lancelot manages to be an inversionand a literal example of this. Despite the fact that Guinevere would have made him very happy, he leaves her after noticing that Arthur is in love with her, believing himself unworthy of her affection and Arthur to be "the better man". This breaks her heart, and he pines away after her for years before finally returning to Camelot to find that she's in a happy relationship with Arthur. He ultimately takes Arthur's place as a Heroic Sacrifice in order to fulfill his vow to Guinevere to keep Arthur safe.
The same show had Lord Agravaine, a man devoted to Morgana even though she treated him like dirt and eventually sends him (albeit unknowingly) to his death without a second thought.
While he does love her, and it's not a one way street, some of the things Mike pulls on Kate in Sea Patrol feel like this though it's subverted by Kate knowing this and NOT being happy with it and she calls him out when it gets too far.
Frighteningly common on Police Procedural shows (Law & Order,CSI, etc.,) especially if it involves teenagers. One that comes up frequently is a teenage girl with bad self-esteem who's head over heels in love with a guy who treats her like a doormat. Often, he's also involved in something highly illegal, and will drag her into it or possibly use her as a fall guy. The police often know that the guy in question is bad news, and try to offer her a deal in order to try and catch him, but she'll frequently wail out "He loves me!" and will take the fall or cover up whatever he's done, digging herself deeper in the process.
Goes along with Living Emotional Crutch for Thomas Lynley and Barbara Havers of The Inspector Lynley Mysteries, although it's not openly romantic. Barbara sticks with Lynley even though he is, at first, a frankly high-handed and often arrogant berk to everyone, even when he later takes all his pain out on her because she's the only safe outlet he has. Meanwhile, Lynley sticks with Barbara despite her being, initially, a Jerkass Woobie who deliberately pushes everyone -- especially him -- away with harsh words because she's too scared to believe anyone could possibly like and/or respect her for herself. In addition, both have a Dark and Troubled Past with a cartload of baggage and family issues galore. Any sane person would have gone running, and in fact all of their previous partners did just that. Fortunately for them both, they find exactly what they need — although not always exactly what they want — in each other.
Sydney Glass of Once Upon A Time. In their past lives as fairy-tale characters, Regina pretended to love him, persuaded him to kill her husband, exposed him as the killer, and tried to send him away. After all this, Sydney (a genie who was given one of his own wishes) wishes to never leave Regina's side. He continues working for her even after he and several other fairy-tale characters are brought into the real world.
Part of the reason Belle stays with Rumplestiltskin is because he's a monster and without her, he's much worse!
Depeche Mode's "Martyr" is this trope. See quotes page.
"Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis.
The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus's song "Your Guardian Angel" is probably meant to sound sweet and romantic... but some of the lyrics, if applied to less-than-ideal situations, seem very much to be Love Martyr talk. The song even contains the lyrics "Use me as you will/Pull my strings just for a thrill," which gave this troper pause when she discovered them.
The song "Self-Esteem" by The Offspring is an excellent example of this trope. It's narrated by an Extreme Doormat who is very aware of the way his girlfriend treats him, he just has too little self-esteem to expect anything better. She sleeps with his friends, blows him off, uses him when she's drunk, and tells him he's "like a disease." He plans to break-up with her, but never does. The chorus ends like this:
Frightened and trembling / Did she fall again, an accident
Her eyes encircled in black again / I can't believe that she's still with him
For how long will you try? / How long until you walk away?
Your facade can't disguise / the fact you're in misery...
The lyrics to "Grenade" by Bruno Mars are a bit disturbing, considering the lengths the singer would go for...whoever.
I’d catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya
I’d jump in front of a train for ya
You know I'd do anything for ya...
Even more disturbing when its implied she was abusive to him. "Black black, black and blue, beat me 'til I'm numb. Tell the devil I said hey where you go back to where you're from."
The video is even more disturbing than the song. Rather than a scattershot of examples of how devoted to her he is and how cruel she is, he spends the entire video dragging a piano across town for her, by himself and with nothing but a rope, past bums and bridges and cars and stunned and at one point hostile onlookers. When he arrives she's with another man, spots him through the window and doesn't seem to particularly care.
In another video dealing with the Kagamine twins, Monochrome Ward, Len was going to be killed by scientists (hinting to be a failed experiment), but Rin switched places with him without the scientists knowing.
Carole King wrote a song called "He Hit Me (And It Felt Like A Kiss)" where her husband/boyfriend/lover beats her, but she stays with him because "If he didn't care for me/I could have never made him mad" and "He hit me, and I knew I loved him/When he took me in his arms/With all the tenderness there is/He hit me, and he made me feel."
As Dave Barry put it in his Book of Bad Songs: "We can only speculate whether OJ had this on the cassette player during the Bronco chase."
It's probably more complicated than that, but Sheryl Crow's "Strong Enough" can certainly sound like a woman looking for one of these: "When I've shown you that I just don't care/When I'm throwing punches in the air/When I'm broken down and I can't stand/Will you be man enough to be my man?"
Tainted Love
This Tainted Love you give me
I give you all a boy can give
Too beautiful by He is we.
"Fistful of Love" by Antony and the Johnsons is crafted from the same clay as "He Hit Me (And It Felt Like a Kiss)", with the whole "You hit me out of love" concept. Bonus points for its total Lyrical Dissonance.
"Weird Al" Yankovic's "You Don't Love Me Anymore" kinda counts, as the guy stood for all the terrible things the partner has done (including cheating on him with a hockey team, shaving his eyebrows and taking his chest hair with pliers, and a variety of murder attempts), and only now is noticing she probably is Ax Crazy and doesn't love him anymore.
Two or three girls Has he That he likes as well as me But I love him
I don't know why I should He isn't true He beats me, too What can I do?
The Antlers' Concept AlbumHospice tells of a hospital worker who falls in love with a terminally ill and mentally unstable cancer patient. He puts up with her abuse and manipulation—presumably one part out of love and one part out of a sense of duty to the dying—until she dies, leaving him scarred and haunted for months. The idea of feeling indebted to the dying serves as the album's metaphor for abusive relationships in general.
Mythology/Religion
Sigyn stuck with Loki despite his infidelities, murders, and mad antics. To date, nobody is really sure why.
Medea gave up everything to stay with Jason, until he broke up with her.
This is the main point of Christianity. Jesus even goes the full conclusion with Sacrificial Lamb.
Cyrano De Bergerac: This play deconstructs this trope by showing us the personality necessary to be a Love Martyr and that they don't even need a Jerk Ass Lover to become one. This trope is Invoked, deconstructed and justified by Cyrano, but never played straight by Roxane: At Act I, he confess to Le Bret that because he has an ugly nose, he cannot aspire to the love of even a graceless woman. So naturally, he’s in love with the most beautiful woman, Roxane. When Le Bret lampshades that Cyrano’s charisma can win Roxane’s love and urges him to confess, Cyrano invokes this trope saying that his only fear is Roxane mocking him after that. After Act II, is clear for the audience, but not for Cyrano, that Roxane would never do such a heinous act. Cyrano still don’t accept it and prefers to invoke this trope again helping the fair Christian to win Roxane’s love. This trope is deconstructed and justified showing exactly the type of guywho can play this trope, and that guy doesn’t even need a real motive (is clear Roxane never was the JerkAss lover Cyrano imagines). At Act IV, after an ultimatum, Christian forces Cyrano to confess, and Cyrano seems he could avert this trope for only a moment, until he would invoke it again after Christian death. Justified because Cyrano’s personality and upbringing forces him to be the Love Martyr.
Helena from A Midsummer Night's Dream is one of these for Demetrius. Played for laughs, and she ends up marrying him in the end, but disturbing all the same.
In Starlight Express, the long-suffering dining car Dinah struggles with her undue devotion to her Jerk Jock diesel engine boyfriend Greaseball. She decides to give up on him after he dumps her for the observation car Pearl, but her friends convince her that racing with the electric engine Electra will make him jealous (and thus cause Greaseball to desire her again). Eventually, Greaseball gets better, and their relationship is saved.
"So In Love" from Cole Porter's Kiss Me Kate, sung by the female lead and reprised by the male lead, so they're both lovesick idiots:
So taunt me and hurt me, Deceive me, desert me, I'm yours 'til I die, So in love, So in love, So in love with you, my love, am I.
Litchi Faye-Ling in BlazBlue, while not openly admitting it, shows that she truly loved her colleague Lotte Carmine, despite him showing himself to be a glory-seeking man with serious inferiority complex and saw her as utterly annoying in his progress as a researcher. To the point that when he turned into Arakune, she would stop at nothing to save him, despite other people considering him a lost cause, including subjecting herself to the same corruption he was dabbling, and the corruption eventually catching up to her before she can find a cure, which leads her to reluctantly join NOL as they have the cure for both her and him, and it's implied that they could easily destroy it if she didn't do a thing about it.
To Lotte's credit, in two of Arakune's endings, he pulls himself together long enough to either save Litchi from her own corruption erasing her memories of him in the process or beg her to abandon him and seek help from Kokonoe. Her love for him was at least partially reciprocated.
The Warden takes a lot of flak for his relationship with Morrigan, from her and from others, in Dragon Age: Origins. Makes the end of Witch Hunt that much more heartwarming, actually.
Hawke's romance with Anders sometimes falls into this territory, due to Anders being possessed by a Spirit of Justice. Taken further at the end of the game, where Hawke may choose to escape Kirkwall and go on the run with Anders, after having been unwittingly tricked into helping Anders construct a bomb and plant it into the Chantry. It's worth noting however that Hawke's intention whilst finding the components for the bomb was because they thought it might be a way to separate Justice from Anders, due to his growing influence causing the breakdown of several of Anders' friendships with their companions and display increasingly erratic behaviour in the Third Act.
Princess Ishtar of Freege from Fire Emblem Jugdral, an Anti-Villain who is in love with the imperial prince Julius, who is sort-of the Big Bad of the game and the reincarnation of a dark god in any case. She ends up dying in a last stand against the hero's army as they come to defeat Julius.
Dandy is a minor example in Ghost Trick. Beauty constantly insults him, and yet he keeps talking about who to invite to their hypothetical wedding. Given some of his dialogue, he may actually enjoy the abuse.
Any of your potential love interests should you pursue the Way of the Closed Fist in Jade Empire, who will go bad themselves, if you use the right dialogue, for love of you. Since for all of the initial philosophical pretenses the Closed Fist plays out in-game as 99% Jerkass/Chaotic Stupid, your character is likely to be about as unlovable as they come.
Bishop from Neverwinter Nights 2, with the main character as much as the fandom. Bishop is a Chaotic Evil ranger who's a flat-out jerk, insults and humiliates other characters (including the hero) on a regular basis, keeps his mind in the gutter and is proud of it, and entertains the philosophy that if you can't take care of yourself, then you don't deserve to live - to put it mildly. With influence, he can develop a grudging respect and eventually a sort of unhealthy obsession with the PC by the end of the game, up to the point when he betrays the PC to the enemy just to avoid getting tied down by his feelings, even though the PC may have never infringed on his freedom and free will in any way. The best compliment he can manage is "I don't hate you as much as your uncle..." Despite him being a complete jerk, the PC can choose to stick out for him and support him to the very end, even despite multiple people voicing their opinion that he is not to be trusted, including a former girlfriend of his. Also, most of his fangirls seem to be crazy about him because of a secret desire to reform him as much as sheer bad boy attraction.
Deionarra of Planescape Torment, martyred by her love for The Nameless One in one of his earlier lives. There's a recorded memory in one of the Sensates' halls where the Nameless One can feel just what it was like, from her side of the story, one of the most emotional and painful points of the game.
Possibly more heartbreaking is the fact that the player also gets to see the earlier Nameless One's side of the story, and what a soulless, Manipulative Bastard he was as well as how little he actually cared for the girl who died for him. And for yet more heartbreak, you can find a letter from Deionarra that reveals she knew she was going to die but went along with him anyway.
Selvaria to Maximillian of Valkyria Chronicles, although she has little, if at all, interest about changing him. Pretty justified since Maximillian saved her from being an eternal lab rat, thus she has dedicated her life for her savior. This being Maximillian, only means it starts to go downhill from there. Not that Selvaria cares...
In Lunar The Silver Star, Xenobia is this for Ghaleon. Though he does seem to value her as an ally, he does not show any signs of reciprocating her feelings since he's too hung up on his goddess. Nonetheless, she pits herself against the party and dies fighting for his sake. One party member takes pity on her for this after the battle.
Jane in the backstory of Shikkoku No Sharnoth. She eventually realized that what she wanted from M couldn't even be given, though.
Quite a few of your clients in Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (or suspects in Ace Attorney Investigations) will confess to murders because they want to protect the one they love, with the usual twist being that their lover was the one who actually did it. And then there's Terry Fawles who turns himself into a literal martyr. When he finds himself doubting Dahlia he swallows poison and dies on the stand.
Familial example: Iris, your twin older sister Dahlia is a serial killer. You know this. Stop helping her.
The only major subversion, really, is Ron and Desiree. Ron was under the impression she'd leave him if she found out he wasn't rich and had turned to crime to support her, which might lead the player to think she is selfish and shallow. However, it eventually becomes clear that Desiree is as in love with Ron as he is with her and the only thing wrong with their relationship was a dire lack of communication.
Additional material in Dangan Ronpa (more exactly the novel Dangan Ronpa IF), shows that Mukuro Ikusaba has several traits of this, towards her twin younger sister and the Big Bad of the game, Junko Enoshima.
Web Animation
Taken to an extreme/absurd level (in a high school setting no less!) in Vinnie Veritas excellent animation, Eres Veneno ++.
Web Comics
Dina from It's Walky! There's STILL controversy about her relationship with complete Jerkass Sociopathic Hero Mike, and Dina's dead. Most of the arguments are about whether or not Mike returned her affection at all; for example, he took her to her favorite place in the world, the museum, something her usually nicer ex-boyfriend Walky was never shown as doing (in fact, Walky was depicted as very selfish when it came to his relationship with Dina) and implied that he had loved her to Joe after Dina's death.
Zebra Girl has most of the cast turn into this as the main character descends into her demonic side. Noticeably lampshaded here.
Deconstructed by Bug in "What the Movies Have Taught Me About Love".
In General Protection Fault, Ki becomes this as her relationship with her fiance Sam deteriorates when he faces pressure on several fronts, notably his parents being opposed to him going out with her. Even as rumors spread of him cheating on her (which are never explicitly confirmed but strongly implied to be true) spread, she remains loyal to him until he tries to rape her when she's unable to go through with having sex with him.
In Digger, there's Ed, the hyena friend of the protagonist. Oh, Ed...
The Beings in But Im A Cat Person are compelled to love their Masters no matter what, which has led to more than a few cases of this. Patrick, with his persistent feelings toward his former Master, is the most prominent example.
Web Originals
Whateley Universe example: Peeper and Greasy. Peeper shares a room with Greasy. Peeper beats Greasy if someone humiliates Peeper or hits Peeper, and he may hit Greasy for other reasons too. Peeper seems to only care that Greasy will do anything for him, and will work insane hours trying to build whatever Peeper wants to misuse. Peeper isolates Greasy from friends and fellow inventors, and reminds Greasy that Peeper is the only person Greasy has. It looks like the most abusive relationship in all of Whateley Academy. If Greasy isn't a Love Martyr, he's got to be really, really close.
The Nostalgia Critic has had drunk sex with Spoony about a year after being raped by him, praised the Harley/Joker dynamic for being true to real-life Domestic Abuse (how there's something about them that makes you keep coming back) and called his abusive mother "my world".
Nella from The Nostalgia Chick started out like this, taking all the punishment to make the Chick look better, but has steadily grown a backbone since the Dark Nella Saga and can now call the Chick out on her bullshit.
Jean Teasdale of The Onion is a Deconstructive Parody of this concept. She stays with her husband Rick despite what could be called a horrible homelife.
Marge Simpson is a good example of this. Interestingly, Homer often does make an effort—if it weren't for Negative Continuity and Flanderization, Marge wouldn't even be on the same continent as this trope, with all the "Homer learns to be more supportive/loving" episodes that have been done.
Even Homer became this in "Strong Arms Of The Ma". Marge is taking steroids because she got mugged, is going out of control and actually forces him into sex. Next morning comes around, he's limping, acting like a kinda-creepy Stepford Smiler and, at the end of the episode, manages to get her back to her normal self again with a sweet-hearted speech.
Family Guy: "Did you ever stop and think 'Wow, I'm married to that?'"
In her first appearance on The Looney Tunes Show, Tina states she knows full well that Daffy's a horrible person, but thinks if the right person worked on him he could become something nice.
Harley Quinn is this in spades, crossed with Mad Love. Especially evident at the end of the titular episode revealing her origin, where she's about to swear off The Joker... then sees a flower on the nightstand.
Harleen Quinzel: Never again. No more obsession, no more craziness, no more Joker. I finally see that slime for what he is: a murderous, manipulative, irredeemable... *Sees the flower*
Harley Quinn: Angel!
Real Life
Tragically common in abusive relationships of all kinds. Gender, age, orientation, etc., doesn't matter.
More optimistically, it's also common in very devoted, non-abusive relationships, and especially can seem like this when one member of a couple is going through a difficult time. The website Love Gives Me Hope has many examples.
Of all people, Katharine Hepburn, during her relationship with Spencer Tracy. He did genuinely love her, but he had an alcohol problem and would frequently fly into rages and hit her. No matter what happened, though, she never left him. One quote from her autobiography explains the whole philosophy behind this trope:
Love has nothing to do with what you're expecting to get, only what you're expecting to give - which is everything. What you receive in return varies, but that really has no connection with why you give. You give because you love and cannot help giving.
