Ranma ½ - Ranma and Akane were supposed to have conflicted feelings about each other and their Arranged Marriage. The longer run of the original manga did give them more of a chance to get closer, but they remain argumentative (and violent, in Akane's case) towards each other whenever there isn't some greater enemy to force them to unite. Even in the very last story, Akane can still be interpreted in a suspicious manner, due to her own behavior and the heavily implied fact that Soun Tendo is intending to blackmail at least one and perhaps both of the couple to submit to the wedding with the cask of Nanniichuan that was sent as a "Thank You" for Ranma. Canonically, the very last words the two actually speak in the manga is to blame each other for the wedding being destroyed. The anime series, which was cut off before the manga reached that far, actually has a more positive final scene between the two.
Similarly, in the Love Hina manga, Keitaro and Naru started out as an Odd Couple and slowly grew into a real relationship, with the hitting and screaming giving way to understanding. Unfortunately, due to the limitations of 26-episode anime and Character Exaggeration, their TV equivalents never made it that far, and fall squarely into this trope. (They did progress somewhat farther, with Naru admitting her love, through the course of the subsequent two movies and OVA miniseries, and they did eventually marry in the manga).
Yubel in Yu-Gi-Oh! GX sees this as the only true expression of love; it cannot distinguish between joy/pleasure and pain/sorrow, and convinces itself that every single bit of suffering it causes its obsession Judai - and every bit reciprocated from him in kind - are simply their way of sharing each other's love.
Shinji and Asuka in Neon Genesis Evangelion. The two initially fight often but seem to be friends, but as the series progresses the sheer vitriol between them (largely from Asuka's side) rises to uncomfortable levels. Despite this, there are indicators, particularly in the extended version of Episode 22 and The End of Evangelion, that they actually desire each other.
On the other hand, they actually try to do nice things for each other once in a blue moon. (In recent manga issues, Kogoro actually bought Eri a birthday present except that he got the day wrong and accidentally gave her the wrong gift box). Eri has also been known to make Kogoro dinner (too bad she's a Lethal Chef), and both her and Kogoro have turned Papa Wolf and Mama Bear respectively when the other has been suspected of murder.
In Paradise Kiss, Yukari and George get together almost immediately, but their romance is unhinged from the get-go. He is sometimes genuinely sweet and gentlemanly with her, but it's hard to notice amidst all the icy contempt and plain insults he throws at her. To make things worse, it's heavily implied his conflicted emotions towards her stem for her similarity to his mother. Naturally, it just couldn't end well for them... yet still ended up better than other examples: they break up out of their own accord and in somewhat amiable terms, George leaves the country to pursue his goals and Yukari decides to live her own life and build her own career. In the Distant Finale, she actually marries her Victorious Childhood Friend Hiro.
Hiei and his boss, Mukuro from YuYu Hakusho. Here's a quote, "Perhaps that's why I feel you understood me...after all, we're both only capable of expressing ourselves through our violence." This isn't just Domestic Abuse played for laughs—he says this to her while they're in the middle of a DEATHMATCH. Against each other.
His birthday present to her? Her evil, sexually abusive dad, bonded to a tree that keeps him from ever moving and repairs any of his wounds instantly, so that she can torture him at her leisure.
In the Hellsing TV series, although not a couple (but Studio Gonzo did hint they have feelings for each other), Alucard and Integra act like this until she almost dies because of his bad judgment in sneaking out to fight his Worthy Opponent. Afterwards, their dynamic softens considerably. In the manga, their relationship is completely different and more of a Bodyguard Crush dynamic.
This is the nature of the relationship of Iason and Riki in Ai No Kusabi due to Opposites Attract and the fact Iason has forcibly made Riki his slave. Although Iason occasionally shows Riki affection despite how much he oppresses Riki in order to control him.
An interpretation of Chiaki and Hatori's relationship in Sekai Ichi Hatsukoi given that every single episode/chapter concerning them starts with them having a nasty fight due to either Chiaki being insensitive or Hatori being possessive. At the end of each episode, while they do end up reconciling, it doesn't change the fact there is a lot of yelling involved before they come to a compromise...and this relationship ends up hurting the third wheel Yanase given he's pulled into their fights every single time. It gets to the point where Yanase finally breaksdowncrying for Chiaki pulling on his heart strings. And let's not mention the novel where the interpretation of their relationship crosses between this and Domestic Abuse.
Zagi and Karim of Jyu Oh Sei. They have both expressed pretty genuine feelings for each other, but you'd never guess from the way he treats her 90% of the time.
Kouji Nanjo and Takuto Izumi from Zetsuai1989 and Bronze. Their Masochism Tango is more like a full-length ballet, and it seems to run in Izumi's family, since his mother killed his father for cheating on him while she's in her Yandere phrase, then killed herself twelve years later.
In comics, pretty much anyone. Gambit and Rogue in particular, due to the fact that Rogue's powers make having a relationship with ANYONE impossible combined with Gambit's very much flexible idea of right and wrong often causing Rogue to go into a tirade about how she can't trust Gambit, who refuses to give up on Rogue or even cross the line by bringing up Rogue's own dark history of Moral Event Horizon crossing when it came to Ms Marvel, whenever Rogue uses Gambit's past against him.
Possibly lampshaded when Gambit said his actual motivation for dating Rogue was to punish himself for his (rather small and inconsequential and blameless) role in the Morlock Massacre.
The relationship between The Joker and his "girlfriend" and gun moll Harley Quinn. It's an interesting study in dependent and abusive relationships, whereby Dr Harleen Quinzel, the Joker's psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum, finds herself falling for the psychopathic supervillain as he mentally manipulates her into taking his side. It's a variation of the Stockholm Syndrome; here the Joker didn't kidnap Harley, and Harley imagines that she came to love the Joker of her own accord (or if she acknowledges his manipulation playing a part, he clearly did it because he was in love with her).
Matt and Kayleigh from Dork Tower. They remain an off-again, on-again couple, even though she belittles all of his interests and friends, and he is torn between staying with her and dropping her for Gilly the Perky Goth. Screaming matches and Slap-Slap-Kiss often occur.
Ball and Chain, everybody! This is a case where it isn't remotely intentional on either side. Edgar and Mallory have been married for three years, and every day is a struggle for both of them. "It's like some crazy dance that we can't learn... and we can't stop. Marriage. The Dance of a Thousand Cuts." They spend most of the series on the brink of divorce, going through several degrees of separation before ultimately realizing that they absolutely need each other.
The Drama Twins from Dark Horse's The Freshmen, a painfully dysfunctional, on-again-off-again couple whose telekinetic powers are inextricably linked.
In The Land Before Time saga, many fans have expressed favouritism for a pairing between Littlefoot and Cera. You'd think the species difference would be enough of a put off, but in addition, the two do argue a lot (in three films, resulting in all out fights). However, Cera has been known to be jealous when Littlefoot makes new friends.
Very much on display in all adaptations of the Bengali novel Devdas. Main characters Dev and Paro both love each other, but are not above lashing out at one another in pretty cruel ways. Subverted in the 2009 remake, Dev. D, where Dev realizes that he never truly loved Paro, but instead idealized and wished to control her. He then manages some Character Development.Dev. D is big on deconstruction, in general.
Bashere: Perrin, I must train you in Saldaean ways. You must yell at your wife like this: DEIRA!!! PUNCH!!! NOW!!! Deira: Yes, dear. Bashere: But only when she wants you to. Sometimes she wants you to be soft and gentle, like this: I love you, my cuddly little honey-bunny. Deira: Yes, dear. Bashere: And sometimes she wants to yell at you, like this: Deira: DAVRAM!!! MASSAGE MY BACK!!! NOW!! Bashere: Yes, dear. And sometimes she wants to be soft and gentle with you, like this: Deira: I will perch on your shoulder, my big, strong rock of a husband. Bashere: So you see, it's not that hard. Do you know anything about babbling women who don't know what they want? Perrin: Well, I grew up in the Two Rivers. Bashere: Oh, you'll be fine. But if you do get anything wrong, I will kill you.
Another example would be a story Thom Merrilin tells Mat. When Thom was young, he encountered a blacksmith's wife whose husband would control who she talked to and beat her up if she so much as looked at other men. Thom gallantly offers to rescue her - and is forced to hastily leave the village when she immediately runs and tells her husband! Thom later finds out that she would control the money, and beat her husband up if he as much as had a single beer at the inn. The moral of the story is to not judge before you have heard both sides.
Subverted in Kafka's short story A Little Woman; the narrator worries about people suspecting him and the titular character of having an affair solely due to her irrational dislike of him—obviously, this isn't the case.
PhÃ¨dre nó Delaunay and Joscelin Verreuil embody this trope for the first two books of the Kushiel's Legacy series. The former is a masochistic prostitute who frequently sleeps with people as a method of solving problems, and the latter is her celibate combat butler-bodyguard.
In the Narnia book The Horse And His Boy, Shasta aka Prince Cor and Aravis spend most of the book arguing and making up. At the end of the story, it's mentioned that they get married so they can argue and make up more efficiently.
In Megan Whalen Turner's Thief of Sounis series, Gen has a rather unbelievable but somehow endearing version of this with the Queen of Attolia, who imprisoned him and cut his hand off, and whom he must blackmail into marrying him.
In the original novel The Princess Bride, Buttercup's parents were described as having this type of relationship, to the point that when her father died and her mother almost immediately followed, it was believed to be the sudden lack of opposition that killed her.
Valmont and Merteuil in Dangerous Liaisons live to one-up each other with tales of sexual deviance and mindfuckery, yet every time one of them talks about having any sort of genuine emotional connection with somebody else, the other one seems to explode with jealousy. This is very definitely a Destructive Romance (if indeed "romance" is even vaguely the right word,) and it ends up with her getting Valmont killed (which leaves her heartbroken,) and her publicly destroyed thanks to Valmont setting her up to be exposed with his dying breath.
Played with in Wuthering Heights, in that most of the characters think Heathcliff and Cathy are a terrible match, even though most readers will agree that their trademark brand of selfishness, vindictiveness, contempt for others, and mutual obsession means they really are perfect for each other. While their relationship may well have turned out to be a Destructive Romance even if they had been together from the start, it would probably not have gotten to quite the level of vengeful spite it did when they tried to live apart.
Basil and Sybil Fawlty from Fawlty Towers are a classic, if rather more complex, example of this trope switching between this and No Accounting for Taste. Casually insulting one another, both face to face and behind their backs, Sybil does seem to appreciate even these acerbic exchanges. And Basil does occasionally try to do something vaguely nice, such as remembering their wedding anniversary (but of course, gets a dangerous kick out of making her believe he has forgotten until the last moment:)
Polly: Well aren't you going to tell her?
Basil: Sooner or later, but let's let her have a bit of a good old STEW, shall we?
Polly: Wouldn't it be simpler to boil her in oil ?
Basil: Yes, but not as economical.
Xander and Cordelia's romance on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Later, Xander began dating Anya, an ex-demon whose idea of a romantic evening (at first) was to brag about all the men she'd tortured and killed over the centuries, though they actually developed a nice rapport later on.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine played this for laughs in a Story Arc about Klingon romances — the Klingon concept of foreplay involves wrestling bitchslapping and broken bones, and the cowardly Ferengi Quark winds up having to participate (and insisting while getting patched up in sickbay that it was Worth It.)
Dax manages to hold her own with Worf in that episode (both come in to sickbay, supporting each other, with various bruises and fractures at the end); apparently she was used to it enough as Curzon to manage.
Cardassians have a similar custom of snapping at each other during their courtship period. A female Cardassian engineer argued the toss extensively with O'Brien, only to reveal later that she found him attractive, bluntly declaring, "I assure you that I am quite fertile." She took the news that O'Brien was already married surprisingly well, saying at the end that Keiko was a lucky woman.
iCarly and it's Sam/Freddie pairing can be seen as this. Once they get together, the next episode is about them constantly fighting, to the point where Carly tells them they need to sort out their problems or they should break up. The next episode says they only fought three times that day, and that Sam still hits Freddie, just not in the face. They then get into a massive almost break up moment when Sam is revealed to have sabotaged an admission paper that could have helped him get into any college he wanted. They still stay together through both episodes.
Ricky and Adrian in The Secret Life of the American Teenager. They mostly ether just argued and or had sex. They never went on dates and Ricky never wanted to be seen in public with her. Their relationship consisted mostly of them cheating on each other and claiming each sexual conquest as retaliation. When her father asked her what she liked about Ricky, beside looks, Adrian couldn't answer. They mostly seemed to show genuine affection through jealousy towards those they viewed as threats to their relationship. Their relationship later ended when Adrian had sex with their mutual friend, Ben.
A list of all the times the various Degrassi series did this would be a Wiki in itself. Some of the more notable cases:
The same thing happened in the fourth season of Degrassi The Next Generation, which paired J.T. who is goofy, irresponsible, and tactless with Liberty who is humorless, workaholic, and a world-class Control Freak. They insist that they're in love, but all we see is them arguing. At one point, J.T. brags about their sex life in public, and Liberty pours cold soda down his pants.
Emma, the resident idealistic goody-two-shoes on Degrassi The Next Generation, has had several boyfriends — all of them extremelybad boys. First, she dated a Troubled, but Cute boy whom she broke up with twice. Then she dated an amateur DJ whom she felt eternally awkward around. Then she began performing oral sex on the same boy whom she had tried to get expelled one season earlier. She wound up catching gonorrhea from him. Then Emma began dating Peter, whom she first met when he was blackmailing her best friend. And when she broke up with him, she went back to the very same Troubled, but Cute boy she started with (for a while, anyway).
And Tara & Wil from Season 2 were the series' Ur Example, with their behavior towards each other making fans wonder how they EVER agreed to marry each other. As TWOP recapper Miss Alli commented during a rare moment of Tara laughing at one of Wil's jokes and Wil visibly beaming at his success: "This is so weird. If he likes her this much, then why is he so mean to her?"
Jonathan & Victoria from The Amazing Race 6 were possibly an even better (worse?) example.
In season 9 Lake & Michelle (mostly Lake) swap insults, rants, and epithets for nearly the entirety of every episode after the first. When finally eliminated from the Race, they declare their love for each other in such a way that you begin to wonder what chunk of their lives was left on the cutting room floor.
Lee Adama and Kara Thrace on had their epic "I hate you, I love you, I hate you" outlasted three seasons, several space battles, two drunken sex accidents, two whirlwind marriages (to other people), one inexplicable weight gain (and more inexplicable loss), one case of Stockholm Syndrome, one apparent death, and many fans' patience, and was only resolved when Starbuck was revealed to have been Dead for Real and up and vanished. It's been suggested recently that these two actually work well as a deconstruction of this trope and that RDM was trying to show just how dysfunctional this type of pairing would be if portrayed realistically.
Although it's hard to tell how much of it is really them and how much of it is the fact that they've had their heads seriously messed with by someone with a seriously messed up head.
Sean and Julia McNamera on Nip/Tuck are so ungodly ill-suited for each other from the moment they appear onscreen that any other two people in the universe would have come to their senses and cut ties years ago: they tend to split up and recombine a minimum of once per season, swearing every time they do either one that this time, it's going to stick. It never does, and one wonders if even the writers can put up with their whining for much longer.
Dr. Cox and Jordan in Scrubs. These two are stunning, simply because even when they are openly together and obviously planning on spending the rest of their lives together, they continue to insult, demean and torment each other, even when they're happy. Both also undergo significant Character Development and gradually show softer sides to their characters and let their defenses down, but this part of their relationship never changes. It also seems like their relationship actually thrives on the fighting, and that their shared hatred actually brings them together. This was showcased best in one episode where Jordan no longer wants to fight because of Jack. So Dr. Cox tries to initiate fights with other people, to which Carla says that she won't fight with him. They eventually patch things up after Cox tells Jordan she's just like her mother, and they agree not to fight in front of Jack... but can do it all they want when he's not around.
Blair and Chuck on Gossip Girl. Blair actually explicitly says "Only a masochist could love such a narcissist." Frequently leans more towards Love Martyr with Blair, because although she's manipulated and insulted him too, Chuck's actions are generally more damaging.
Hyde and Jackie on That '70s Show. Before they got together, their interactions consisted entirely of slinging barbs and insults at each other. And after, their relationship was... pretty much the same, only now they had sex.
Jackie refused to notice this. Hyde knew it but tried not to care.
Proudly coarse Carla Tortelli and snooty John Allen Hill from Cheers. Hurling insults were their favorite foreplay.
Frasier: A one-sided example came with Niles and Maris (starting about late S2 and finishing in S6). She manipulated him, dominated him, you could very well say that she was emotionally abusive and she put him through torment during their divorce. What's interesting is that Niles seems to go for or even cause these types (due to his submissiveness when it comes to women); His emaciated pet was Maris in dog form, Mel might have treated him better but was still dominating and even Daphne became shriller and bitchier after they got together.
In the episode "The Focus Group", Niles actually intentionally attempts to instigate one of these between he and Daphne after they got into their first argument and he...enjoyed it so much. This, mind you, is before they got together, so it fails pretty miserably. Daphne's just too polite to take the bait and only argued with him in the first place because she was already at her wits end.
One of the earliest television examples, Fred and Ethel Mertz from I Love Lucy. To give an idea of how much they bicker and seem to dislike each other, when asked what he knew about rice, Fred remarked, "I had it thrown at me on one of the darkest days of my life." If divorce had been as common in the first half of the 20th century as it is now, they probably would have split up twenty years before the series began.
Reality Subtext: Actors William Frawley and Vivian Vance openly despised each other, and flatly turned down a spin-off series starring the two of them.
Steve and Karen McDonald from Coronation Street fit this trope. Despite marrying for a bet, the two quickly realized that they really did love one another after all. However, much to the amusement of fans of the show, their subsequent storylines focused on how Karen completely browbeat her husband. Eventually the couple split after both had affairs (including one scene where Karen had sex with her lover despite knowing that Steve could hear everything), but got back together and then divorced (Karen forced Steve to do this so she could have a proper wedding). Unfortunately their second wedding was ruined by Tracy Barlow, who had slept with Steve (when he was separated from Karen) and had his baby. Despite the fact that Karen chose to re-marry Steve many more arguments followed, but the final straw came when Karen suffered a nervous breakdown following a miscarriage and abducted Steve's daughter by Tracy. Steve decided to put an end to The Masochism Tango for good.
While Word Of God says that House and Stacy were meant to be deeply in love, onscreen it was more like this. She's deeply self-righteous about the whole "cutting up his leg without his consent" thing and hasn't seemed to learn her lesson when it comes to her ill husband either, doesn't believe that he has any human feelings whatsoever (even when he shows her and us his adorable, romantic/cheesy side by giving her a prescription for her "heart problem") and seems to act like she wants to kill him in his sleep. For his part, he can't decide whether he wants her to be with him or if he wants her to suffer and at one point, breaks into her therapy file so he can act like the nice guy. He ended it in Need To Know but it really, really doesn't make him any happier.
A literal version in Burn Notice, with Michael and Fiona, as at one point they come to blows about it. They eventually resolve things and are back to a semi-dysfunctional couple, with the occasional outburst by Fiona, such as her slapping him when he was planning a trip to Cuba, "to remind [him] to be careful," just after giving him a kiss for luck.
John and Aeryn in Farscape. From their very first meeting they're beating on each other (usually Aeryn is smacking John around but not always) and it becomes a common theme in the series.
You would think this trope would be named Married... with Children: Al and Peg pretty much treat each other like mortal enemies, and even take glee in ruining things that the other would enjoy, however each becomes insanely depressed/violent/jealous on those occasions where it looks as though the other has found someone else.
Lana and Clark. All the time they were together he was more emo than Batman. They even lampshaded this in a season 8 episode, when Lana returns to the show.
And literally when she has kryptonite inside her, causing him ACTUAL pain.
Sam and Casey of Life With Derek suffered through an extremely fragile on-again, off-again relationship for several episodes before finally calling it quits for real.
Saturday Night Live had a pair of recurring characters circa 2005 called The Needlers: The Couple That Should Be Divorced that basically epitomized this trope:
Sally Needler: Well, that's because someone got mad at the grill and pushed it into the swimming pool.
Dan Needler: That was probably because someone kept complaining that their steak tasted too steak-y.
Sally Needler: You know, you ruin every Fourth of July.
Dan Needler:YOU RUIN THE FOURTH OF EVERYTHING!!!
Sometimes, an Only Sane Man in the sketch will tactfully suggest they seek couples counseling. The Needlers will act like this suggestion has come out of nowhere and declare that their marriage is just fine, before going right back to bitching at each other.
Cody and Bailey of The Suite Life on Deck started out as a sweet, endearing couple who were well-matched intellectually and tolerant and forgiving of one another's faults. As the second season progressed, they constantly fought for dominance in the relationship, and everything became a competition between them. By the time they broke up at the end of season two, they weren't so much ending their relationship as putting it out of its misery.
Niles and C.C Babcock in The Nanny. I mean, throughout season 1 and 2, they'd shoot insults back and forth out of the wind. Then, Niles decided he wanted to marry her, and proceeded to get rejected. 3 times. Eventually, they got got married and were expecting when the show went off.
There is a sketch on The Kids in the Hall where a couple is being very loud in a restaurant with their arguing. Mark's character complains to them and he gets punched in the face by the guy, only to get up and see that the couple has forgotten about him and begun making-out passionately.
A contestant on America's Got Talent performed an act to the song of the same name in which he danced a Tango in between having her smash cinder blocks on his stomach while on a bed of nails among other things.
Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy have been the Official Couple of The Muppets for a quarter century, however in that time there have been a fair bit more instances of them bickering than getting along. Piggy's affections towards Kermit usually go unreturned, and they can both be quite abusive towards each other (Kermit verbally, Piggy physically).
JR and Sue Ellen Ewing of Dallas, to the nth. He cheats, she drinks and cheats, he cheats and has her committed... and on the dance goes. Most of the horrible things Sue Ellen does are fairly reasonable reactions to JR's misdeeds, but many argue that he was only slightly overreacting to her being a right old bitch in the first place. The more heinous infractions include: JR using Sue Ellen's alcoholism as his go-to blackmail or attempting to push her off the wagon for the same reason, Sue Ellen's use of their son as a pawn knowing it's JR's only weak spot, JR cheating on and conspiring against Sue Ellen with her own sister, believing Sue Ellen shot him and allowing her to rot in jail when her crazy sister was the actual culprit, and Sue Ellen actually shooting him a few years later. Somewhere in there they get a divorce, RE-MARRY (because of all the love), then re-divorce. The two are so massively screwed up they make a certain sense together, but even at the best of times he makes it clear that she will always be second to Ewing Oil. Bummer.
Doctor Who: The Doctor and River Song. In between constantly snarking at each other, constantly lying to each other in order to prevent paradox and her punching/slapping him in the face a few times over, she also repeatedly tries to kill him because she was raised to be his assassin. And then, when she has to kill him because it's a fixed point it time and not doing so would rip the universe apart, she adamantly refuses because she thinks she loves him too much. He hastily and quite angrily marries her on the spot out of sheer frustration, makes her kill him after all, and their relationship only gets more complicated from that point on.
There's definitely a few in Six Feet Under, but none are more obvious than Nate and Lisa. Nate clearly doesn't care for Lisa at all when they're together ("I am so proud of us for making this thing work," he says, then cringes a few seconds later when Lisa says "Oh Nate, I love you so much sometimes it terrifies me.") Lisa, on the other hand, holds ridiculously high standards for Nate and snipes away at him when he can't meet them. Both of them spend a season being ridiculously passive-aggressive towards each other, but when Lisa dies, the guilt of his awful behavior starts to devour Nate.
A Running Gag on Father Ted was that the couple who run the local shop are always having a screaming row or in the process of attempting to kill each other until the moment the priest walks in, at which point they immediately become a pair of outwardly-cheerful Stepford Smilers.
Recurring Mountain Goats characters the 'Alpha couple' are locked in a mutually self-destructive spiral of alcoholism and substance abuse, veering between declarations of love, expressions of total hopelessness and outright Kung-Shui.
"I Love the Way You Lie" by Eminem and Rihanna is this pure and simple.
"The Ballad Of Tom Jones", Space's duet with Cerys Matthews, veers between this and Slap-Slap-Kiss. The couple in the song are constantly at each other's throats, to the point where the woman tries to kill the man by driving him off a cliff. The only thing that stops the couple killing each other is - you've guessed it - the sound of the music of Tom Jones.
In Rent, there is a song called 'Tango: Maureen', all about how Maureen torments her boyfriends/girlfriends with compulsive flirting: "When you're dancing her dance, you don't stand a chance, her grip on romance makes you fall. So you think 'might as well dance a tango to hell'...at least I'll have tangoed at all."
Parodied in Super Smash Bros Brawl: playing as Wolf in a certain Star Fox-based arena will trigger a com chat involving Leon gushing over the viciousness of Wolf's smackdown of the opponent, and Panther questioning who the lizard is more envious of - Wolf, or his victim.
That actually isn't gender specific for Echani. It's more like 'whoever wins can take the initiative if they want' (still rather unfortunate if you think about it). But the Handmaiden actually tries to tell the Jedi Exile that what they are doing for combat practise means something else in her culture.
Touhou Fanon and Kaguya/Mokou Shippers often display Kaguya and Mokou in The Masochism Tango since Kaguya and Mokou have been trying to constantly kill each other for years and years. It doesn't work because of their Immortality. This Fan comic displays this interpretation rather well (Warning: Ads are NSFW)
Umineko No Naku Koro Ni contains a very creepy example of this: Lambdadelta and Bernkastel fight each other in a game whenever they come across each other in the ocean of the kakera. The penalties for the looser are very severe cases of a Fate Worse Than Death. And yet they always assure how much they "love" each other. However, as we learn later in the story, this may be justified as theirs means to escape the boredom that can literally kill them. By fighting each other, they relieve that boredom in order to survive and spend time with each other. And in the very end, they get their Aww, Look!They Really Do Love Each Other-moment.
The flash animation Eres Veneno ++ by Vinnie Veritas is a serious contender for the greatest example of The Masochism Tango. As was once commented, "there's love, and then there's bitchy love."
Church: Alright O'Malley, this is it. From now on, if anybody makes my girlfriend cranky and psychotic; it's gonna be me.
Tex: Aww, that's sweet.
Church: Shut up, bitch!
Also, Grif and Simmons.
Parodied in the webcomic Girl Genius: the Jagermonster Andre is convinced that the construct Von Pinn loves him. His "proof"? She mauls him on a regular basis without ever quite killing him. Considering she apparently has an already horrific reputation for violence, the fact that she simply takes so long mutilating and dismembering Andre is seen as validation by everyone else on the dirigible. It's reached the point where everyone dismisses the sounds of screaming and roars with "That would be Andre".
On top of that, Jagers are kind of like that to begin with.
You could say all the Sparks are this way, too. Gil and Tarvek are never more attracted to Agatha than when she's being crazy, beating them/other people up, and wanting to experiment on people. Agatha's the same for them.
In The Order of the Stick, they rescue an old man at his wife's request. Then the couple meet again, and they wonder how much of a good deed it was.
Dominic Deegan and Luna have turned bitter fighting over each other's habits into foreplay.
This is apparently a regular part of Troll relationships in Homestuck, and even has its own name, "kismesissitude" - a relationship based on mutual hatred between two parties. It's just as important to troll society and reproduction as "matespritship," which is based on mutual pity and is more like a traditional romance. Many individuals will sometimes flip back and forth between the two sorts of relationships, which makes it even more complicated.
A good - and exceptionally twisted - example of this would be Vriska's feelings for Tavros. Vriska torments Tavros every chance she gets, even going so far as to mind-control him into jumping off a cliff and then constantly insults him afterwards for being a pathetic cripple. And yet she promptly starts making out with him as soon as they meet up in the Medium. For the most part, Tavros doesn't seem to share her romantic feelings of either stripe, and is generally afraid of her. He does still spend time with her, though, sometimes mediated by one of their friends, although he does run away in tears when Vriska is nearly beaten to death by another person she's hurt, and asks Tavros to kill her. Then, when she comes back, he decides he needs to stop her from doing something dangerous, and she kills him when he tries.
In terms of canonical examples, Jack Noir and Snowman illustrate it best, Vriska and Eridan used to be in one but broke up before the start of the series, Eridan seemed to briefly feel this way for Sollux but was rejected, and Karkat likewise felt this way for John but ran afoul of the fact that humans don't have these types of relationships and that John isn't into guys anyway.
Kismesissitude is also the only quadrant that cherubs experience, as all evil cherubs are destructive, evil tyrants that attempt to rip universes apart, while good cherubs are kind, shy protectors who naturally hunt them in order to stop their destruction by mating with them. These attitudes begin development in childhood, when each cherub body consists of a "good" half and a "bad" half that each vie for "predomination" of the body; predomination is supposed to be completed at the beginning of adulthood, and the good half usually spend a long time in isolation in order to come to understand the need to procreate, while the bad halves, fueled by the earlier conflict with their sibling, begin destroying planets and life. When they are ready, each cherub couple usually mates inside of a black hole, and though the ritual itself is of such extreme violence that one or both mates die, the "victor" gains territory, however briefly, while the "loser" is forced to bear the offspring. So if the loser is male...
Riley and Zaboo's relationship in The Guild is more a sadomasochism tango with Riley as the top and Zaboo as the bottom. He later grows a spine and breaks up with her.
Like Dr. Cox and Jordan, The Nostalgia Critic and The Nostalgia Chick have much more fun this way. They've chloroformed each other, both got a bit "BAD TOUCH!" when the other is unconscious, she's tried to kill him and he's locked her in his basement, but he's in love and is one of the very few people she cares about.
Heather and Alejandro in Total Drama World Tour. They even perform a literal masochism tango in the penultimate song, intentionally injuring each other while dancing together.
Family Guy: This might be part of the reason why Lois stayed with Peter more than a few months, let alone the two decades of marriage. The time travel episode has Peter ditch her repeatedly thanks to a Reset Button, and every time she seems annoyed but unsuprised.
Hey Arnold! gives us the April Fool's tango between Arnold and Helga... solely fueled BY REVENGE. She might love the guy, and he might think she's more than what she appears, but that moment is nothing but rage and spite (despite what most fans think). Of course the whole thing is a set up for Helga to fool Arnold, but... Arnold finds out about it and decides to out-wit her.