Arranged Marriage - Television Tropes & Idioms

alt title(s): Marriage Of Alliance

Hogarth's Marriage a la Mode

We who are of noble blood may not follow the wishes of our hearts.

— Jane Olsen, The Cabinet Of Dr Caligari

God's bread it makes me mad. Day, night, late, early,
At home, abroad, alone, in company,
Waking or sleeping, still my care hath been
To have her match'd; and having now provided
A gentleman of princely parentage,
Of fair demesnes, youthful, and nobly train'd,
Stuff'd, as they say, with honourable parts,
Proportion'd as one's thought would wish a man-
And then to have a wretched puling fool,
A whining mammet, in her fortune's tender,
To answer 'I'll not wed, I cannot love;
I am too young, I pray you pardon me'!
— William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

An Arranged Marriage is, quite simply, the idea that someone is going to choose your spouse for you. The choosing process can work in several different ways:

In a forced marriage, parents choose their child's future spouse with little or no input from the child and expect them to follow through with it. If the child refuses, they may be punished or even killed. These are not very common in Western nations today, where an individual's right to happiness outweighs the social and economic interests of the family who might benefit from such a marriage. Historically, though, many marriages were arranged, although in most Western societies the groom, or his parents, arranged the marriage with the bride's parents - and whether the bride had any choice in the matter or not depended on them. Generally the more important the alliance, the less opportunity either of the prospective partners was given to say no.
In less restrictive traditional arranged marriages, parents may choose their children's respective spouse with input from said children and without the caveat that they have to accept a potential match unconditionally — although the children may be heavily pressured to do so if such a match is especially favorable.
Voluntarily, one can hire a matchmaker (or sign up for an online matchmaking service), which will pair the prospective bride or groom with a large list of potential suitors with whom they can freely choose to pursue relationships. These kinds of "no-strings" arrangements are far more popular in Western nations, although those who use dating services may not want to freely admit doing so, since it's generally believed that only workaholics or the socially inept would actually have a need to do so.
In Japan, the ancient custom of omiai is a means by which suitable couples are formally introduced to each other by their parents, who sometimes employ a professional matchmaker. Meetings between potential mates are often stiff, formal affairs conducted in expensive tea shops or hotels with the parents of the couple present. (Needless to say, such meetings can be a source of tremendous tension for all involved participants.) In pre-war Japan, arranged marriages were common, a lot more restrictive as far as choice was concerned, and popular among the Samurai Class as a way of cementing familial alliances. In modern times, the heads of rich, high-class corporation-owning families can choose to bind their children to each other in a similarly restrictive way to form powerful economic alliances. There is little the prospective bride and groom can do to get out of such arrangements without causing considerable embarrassment and social turmoil in their own family. (Needless to say, many anime series will milk this sort of thing for all it's dramatically and/or comically worth.)
Sometimes the villain may attempt to "arrange" a marriage between himself and the heroine / the hero's love interest. If it is questionable whether the fiance is actually a hero or a villain, the arranged marriage will often take the shape of payment of a debt from the heroine's family to the fiance or fiance's family. Then part of a plot will be a mystery where the heroine struggles to figure out whether the fiance's motives are at root noble or nefarious; a more stubborn, action-oriented heroine may spend a lot of time trying (and failing) to pay that debt before even noticing that the fiance might actually be worth marrying. In more extreme versions the heroine may be a captive or a slave who becomes the legal property of the 'fiance'; again, plucky heroines may spend a whole plot arc trying to escape or earn their freedom before considering whether they actually want to escape. The hero's trust issues become a lot more noticeable in this variant when he is afraid not just of her choosing a rival or running away, but of actually killing him. Generally the conflict cannot be resolved until the heroine finally gets to a position of freedom or power, then has to use it to support or outright rescue the fiance.

The idea of an arranged marriage is anathema to Western consumers. "What happened to freedom," they ask, "and what happened to The Power Of Love, and True Loves Kiss?" The answer is to remember that the idea of marrying for love was a new and provocative idea as recently as 400 years ago, whereas marriage itself has existed without it for at least 5,000 years (and without too many problems either, since we're all still here). During most of human history, marriage was more of a business arrangement: two families would agree to a mutually-beneficial exchange, and seal the pact with grandkids. Compatibility was not disregarded (after all, an alliance works better if it isn't held together by a Crack Pairing), and neither was love... but it was considered a product of marriage, not a cause, which should be born from long familiarity with one's spouse—Ten Minutes In The Closet, except over the course of a lifetime. (The closest Western fiction comes to admitting this is the It Meant Something To Me trope, where it isn't meant to last, under the Rule Of Drama.) Finally, the Perfectly Arranged Marriage, the love-child of the Arranged Marriage and Love At First Sight, was developed by ancient tropers in acknowledgement of the fact that love is a desirable part a marriage (they just didn't think it had to be the only part, or even the most important part).

In most instances where a formal Arranged Marriage is introduced into a plot, it will become a source of tension and contention. Westerner or not, no one really wants to marry a total stranger (much less have sex with them), and if that total stranger turns out to be a complete rogue and a cad, it may be necessary for the heroes to spring into action rescue the hapless member of their group who is being forced to walk down the aisle. (Of course, being Big Damn Heroes, they'll have to do so in the most overblown and dramatic way possible.) Sometimes, the person in the arranged marriage takes matters into their own hands and becomes a Runaway Fiance.

A common tactic is for the daughter of a wealthy but common family to be matched with the Impoverished Patrician, for his title. Occasionally, it's the other way around, with a titled daughter and a moneyed son.

The Arranged Marriage is not to be confused with: a Childhood Marriage Promise (whereby a prepubescent couple voluntarily pledges their own non-legally-binding, future troth); a marriage which may arise out of convenience; or a marriage that arises from some kind of cultural mistake. For clarity's sake, the Arranged Marriage trope will deal only with more binding, traditional types of unions.

See also Parental Marriage Veto, You Have Waited Long Enough. A Shotgun Wedding is a short-notice forced marriage. If someone agrees to an Arranged Marriage but loves someone else, Courtly Love may be involved.

Often involves Prince Charmless and Rebellious Princess. At least recently, one of the potential spouses was as likely as not to try to defy this.

To see the types of follies and foibles associated with modern dating services, see Matchmaker Dot Com.

Very much Truth In Television for many time periods and even a lot of countries today, though it usually it happens without so much drama. Also, many people in Arranged Marriages would argue that love can be a product of marriage, not merely a cause, and thusly that an Arranged Marriage is hardly mutually exclusive to love. (This is the entire point of The Makioka Sisters.) They also like to point to the 50% divorce rate in America as proof that trying to find love for yourself, instead of letting someone find it for you, isn't as easy a habit as it looks. And, increasingly, many families set up Arranged Marriages with the child's compliance or even (if the child is an Unlucky Everydude or Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places) at the child's request. This type of Arranged Marriage is common in Japan and among the Japanese, Indian, and Arab diasporas.