"If I do marry, I want it to be for love."
Not for money, power, political alliance, social standing, compatibility, looks
, children.... but because s/he is attracted to the person, feels a bond with the other and wants to be with him or her for as long as possible. Of course those things might end up being part of the package anyway.
Marry For Love comes in when a character in a work declares that they are not going to enter matrimony unless they have chosen and love the other person first. To them, there's no point in entering a life long relationship unless they can actually stand their spouse. This epiphany may occur when the option of an Arranged Marriage
is brought up or simply the fact that the character in question is still single
. They may or may not have already found their betrothed at this point in the story.
Usually associated with female characters, but rarely (if ever) with males.
This may result in a Runaway Fiancť
, when the character runs away to get out of marriage.
This is obviously Truth in Television
with a lot of people.
Compare with the Rebellious Princess
, an (almost) Always Female
character who runs off with someone whom her parents have deemed unworthy. Also compare the Perfectly Arranged Marriage
where loves comes after the engagement similar to Rule-Abiding Rebel
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Anime and Manga
- Byakuya Kuchiki was a noble who fell in love with the commoner Hisana. His clan did not approve, but he fought for her and gained the right for them to marry.
- In a flashback arc, it's revealed that Masaki was originally adopted into the Ishida family as part of the matriarch's plan to set up an Arranged Marriage between Masaki and her son Ryuuken. A confession is made to the family's maid, Katagiri, that the reason the Arranged Marriage will never work as the matriarch hopes is because they will never be Happily Married and the best future for the Quincies is to marry for love instead of blood purity or status. While it's clear that Masaki is unhappy with the situation, the twist is that the desire to marry for love is not her confession, it's Ryuuken's. Eventually, the Arranged Marriage falls through. Masaki and Isshin marry for love, and so do Ryuuken and Katagiri.
- The plot to Coming to America is Eddie Murphy's prince looking for love to marry.
- The Princess Bride
- Subverted in Corpse Bride. In their Arranged Marriage, Victor and his bride-to-be hit it off immediately, when her parents are only marrying into the family because they have nothing.
- Marrying for love is Jaya's and Lalita's goal in Bride and Prejudice.
- Referenced in Bend It Like Beckham when Jess tells her teammates that her sister has a "love match" as opposed to an arranged marriage.
- In the Star Trek reboot, Sarek eventually reveals this is the reason he married Amanda Grayson, after insisting it was for mostly political reasons.
- Every Jane Austen heroine:
- The eponymous Emma states that she will only marry for love.
- Elizabeth in Pride and Prejudice says she won't marry anyone unless it's for love. This causes her to turn down two marriage proposals, one from a well-off (but insufferable) pastor and one from a filthy rich gentleman. She eventually marries the rich guy anyway, out of genuine love.
- The Dashwood sisters of Sense and Sensibility make it clear they will only marry for love, but this trope actually most concerns Elinor's intended Edward, who has to face his mother's wrath for refusing an Arranged Marriage to a woman he's never even met.
- Catherine Moreland of Northanger Abbey makes it clear she has no intention of marrying John Thorpe before he can propose; she's already falling in love with Henry Tilney.
- Anne Elliot of Persuasion realizes she can't even entertain the thought of marrying her rich cousin because she is in love with Captain Wentworth, and as far as she is concerned, whether they ever marry or not, she is forever separated from other men.
- Fanny Price of Mansfield Park, in her first major act of independence and defiance, refuses to marry the despicable Henry Crawford because she does not love him and knows his True Colors. Interestingly, Austen's use of this trope should Joss the theory that Romantic False Lead Mary Crawford is the more Typical Jane Austen Heroine, as Mary falls in love with Edmund but refuses to marry him unless he's richer note
- In Deltora Quest, Lief states that "when the time comes, [he] will follow Adin's example and marry for love."
- In Bread Givers, Sara declares that she will do this after she sees her father marry off her sisters to wealthy men who were cads and in at least one case, lied about his wealth.
- In a book from The Royal Diaries, Isabella I of Castile went behind her brother's back to marry the young, handsome, kind and intelligent heir of Aragon after he stole her heart.
- Codex Alera:
- It is said the nobility and Citizenry of Alera rarely, if ever, wed for anything romantic. Only the commoners can have this luxury.
- Princeps Septimus, son of Gaius, sole heir to the throne, rejected an arranged marriage and chose to marry a common girl because he truly fell in love with her.
- In Cursor's Fury Lord Placidus gives this as his reasoning for complying with the villain's ransom demands when the villain reveals he kidnapped Placidus's wife. This leads him to immediately get his armies into fighting position, on the logic that either his wife will be freed soon by the First Lord's agents, or killed, and in either case there would be nothing holding him back from kicking the guy's arse up between his ears.
- A Song of Ice and Fire:
- Aegon V broke with the dynastic tradition of Brother-Sister Incest and married for love, which then prompted his own son Jaehaerys II to do the same. Unfortunately Jaehaerys didn't follow his father's example with his own children and forced his son Aerys II and daughter Rhaella to marry, to their great displeasure.
- Harshly deconstructed in the case of Robb Stark. Robb Stark breaks off a politically important Arranged Marriage when he falls for the Florence Nightingale Effect after he's wounded in battle. He hastily arranges for his uncle to marry his fiancee in his place in an effort to uphold the alliance, but at the wedding feast he, his mother and many of his high command are murdered by their hosts, who took the snub as an excuse to change allegiance.
- Tywin Lannister married his cousin Joanna for love. Hypocritically, he wants his own children to marry for political advantage. Tywin also never re-married.
- An issue in the film and miniseries of The Feast Of All Saints. The patriarchs/matriarchs of both the wealthy white families and the Colored gentry insist on marriages/relationships based on status and wealth, not love. This leads to loveless marriages, cold and distant wives, and white men participating in placage as an escape.
- Most of Georgette Heyer's heroines will only marry for love. But even those who don't find a happily ever after somehow.
- Comes up in A Brother's Price. Jerin wants wives he can come to love instead of enduring. His family, fairly enlightened, lets men choose their new families and said men are happier for it. Ultimately his protective older sisters let him marry into the family containing the woman he loves (and he does grow to love his other wives as well).
- When Alaric in The Quest of the Unaligned is informed that he has to pick a bride from among the noble ladies of Caederan, we get this great line "Alaric had always planned on getting married eventually, of course. But his criteria for potential spouses had always included things like being... someone he actually knew and liked, for starters."
- Tommy and Tuppence Beresford...notable in that Tuppence was of the practical order and fully intended to marry as rich as possible until being faced with the opportunity to do so led her to realize that she had in fact loved Tommy all along.
Live Action Television
- Prince Arthur from Merlin defies his father and breaks off an Arranged Marriage due to the importance he places of marrying for love, stating that: "I'll be a much better king for the strength and support of a woman I love."
- The "Beauty and the Beast" episode of Faerie Tale Theatre has Beauty telling her suitor that when she does marry it will be out of love, not need.
- Once Upon a Time: Prince Charming started out as a Farm Boy who insisted that he wanted to marry for love. Despite an Arranged Marriage, he does end up marrying his True Love, Snow White.
- Downton Abbey: Lady Mary refuses to marry Matthew when he becomes the heir (even though she had been willing to marry the previous heir without love). Ironically, she does end up marrying for love- to Matthew.
- Mary's younger sister Sybil is a more straightforward version of this trope, when she marries Tom, the family chauffeur for love, and repeatedly citing that love whenever she is questioned on her choice in husband by the rest of her family.
- Mary and Sybil's cousin Rose declares she will only marry for love and doesn't want to be pressured into a marriage just for the sake of it now that she's "out" in society. Shortly afterwards she falls for and marries Atticus Aldridge.
- Game of Thrones has Robb Stark forgo his previous betrothal to a daughter of Walder Frey and rashly do this with a field medic he meets in the aftermath of a battle. Deconstructed, as in the source novel, when Lord Walder has Robb, his mother, most of his bannermen, and his now pregnant wife slaughtered.
- Friends: Rachel leaves her fiancee at the altar because she wants to marry for love and almost immediately meets Ross. Of course thanks to her rather fickle nature this turns out to be a complicated journey. She and Ross do eventually get together and its implied they do get married.
- Monica also shows shades of this, determined to have a happy family and loving husband, but resisting her mother's pressurising. When Rachel encourages her to date and marry a billionaire, Monica refuses because she doesn't have feelings for him. She succeeds in her quest a lot quicker than Rachel and marries her best friend Chandler.
- In Fiddler on the Roof the daughters want to marry the men of their choice: a poor tailor, a revolutionary, and worst of all, a gentile rather than have Yenta the matchmaker choose.
- The musical Call Me Madam had the song "Marrying For Love." In it the Silver Fox describes how arranged marriages have been unhappy in his aristocratic family. He won't make the same mistake they did, even if he's getting up there in years.
- In Cole Porter's Musical The Pirate, Serafin tells Manuela (who has been engaged to the Mayor of her tiny Caribbean village in an arranged marriage), "In England and America, they have a different custom. There the women marry for love," to which Manuela replies, "I know. That's a very stupid custom."
- In the Cinderella movie musical The Slipper and the Rose, Prince Edward objects to having to choose from an array of loathsome princesses for a political match, and wishes he could Marry for Love.
- In the unabridged version, the king and queen answer him with the song "What Has Love Got to Do With Getting Married?"
- With the song "Position and Positioning", the Edward's valet and friend John explains that all people are limited to marrying within their own social stratum, and so lack freedom to Marry for Love. After hearing this, the prince knights John, granting him the status he needs to marry the noblewoman he loves.
- Doubly Subverted: Millie in Thoroughly Modern Millie declares that she will marry a rich man rather than for love, since marriage is a business arrangement. Her beau Jimmy turns out to be filthy rich anyway.
- Gilgamesh Wulfenbach from Girl Genius isnít happy when his father announces itís time for him to get married and that he will arrange for a suitable match. Gil even admits to his manservant that for a long time he dreamed about a girl who could understand him and be his partner. Itís one of the reasons for his Wacky Marriage Proposal to Agatha later on.
- Julie and Lenny in Our Little Adventure. There are a lot of hints that Theodore (Julie's father) was not happy about it.
- Persephone did this with Hades in Thalia's Musings, in spite of being sought after by most of Zeus' sons.
- Aphrodite resents not being given this option and feels trapped in her Arranged Marriage to Hephaestus.
- As illustrated in the non-fiction book Marriage, A History: How Love Conquered Marriage, this trope is Newer Than They Think, only entering the picture around the 1600s; even in Jane Austen's time it was still fighting for acceptance. This is not to say that love was not a desired part of a marriage; but it was felt to be a product of a matter that had its real origins in matters of church, state and wealth.
- Surprisingly for someone with such a maligned reputation, Richard III apparently married his wife, Anne Neville, out of love. At the time, she was the widow of Henry VI's son and the daughter of the disgraced Earl of Warwick; Richard didn't have a lot to gain from marrying her. Also counts as Childhood Friend Romance; the two of them were distant cousins and grew up together.