Like Parent, Like Spouse

"It's trite but true that a lot of young women look for a man who reminds them of their dad. Your dad fights monsters. I fight monsters. Your dad rescued your mom from a dragon. I rescued you from Arctis Tor. Seeing the pattern here?"

— Harry Dresden to Molly Carpenter, Proven Guilty

Freudian psychology has a theory that children who have a close relationship with their parents tend to look for those properties in a mate.

In a child's life, the first and most prominent example of men and women respectively are found in their parents. This sets the template for what to expect from that sex in general, up to and including a future mate.

This is commonly associated with "daddy issues", and absent or lackluster fathers. If she has a negative father, she'll often grab up negative boyfriends as well, so it takes a certain amount of awareness to be able to break out of that tendency. However, it can equally be found in positive relationships. If you have a good dad, and want your children to have a good dad as well, picking a partner who's like your father is one way to make that happen.

It is most commonly associated with straight women, but it is not exclusive to them. The same goes for straight men using their mother as a guide when choosing a wife. Lesbians and gay men are likewise influenced by their same-sex parents. People who grew up without knowing their parents at all will likely find themselves subconsciously looking for other templates.

Some people find this squicky, but it's just as common in Real Life as in Fiction. See also Father, I Want to Marry My Brother, Dating What Daddy Hates, Parenting the Husband.

Sister Trope to Like Father, Like Son. A Sub-Trope of Has a Type.

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Examples:

Anime & Manga

• In Cardcaptor Sakura, Sakura has a crush on Yukito who looks like her father. She even lampshades it.
• Subverted in Case Closed, where Satou tells Takagi that she does not have a crush on Megure, and sees him more like a Parental Substitute since Megure reminds her of her own father.
• In the CLANNAD anime, Nagisa mentions that Tomoya is a lot like her father. They even have almost identical hairstyles.
• All of Lelouch's potential Love Interests in Code Geass (Shirley, C.C., Kallen, and Suzaku) share a trait or more with his dead mother Marianne. Kallen stands out the most as she's practically a younger version of Marianne in personality and role.
• Gohan from Dragon Ball Z marries Videl, the strongest young woman on the planet. His mother Chi-Chi was the strongest woman in the world when she was 18. They were both Tsunderes and the daughters of rich martial artists, too. Witness their first interaction together, you would swear Videl was Chi-Chi's child, rather than Gohan and Goten.
• Fruits Basket has Kyo, who is a Fiery Redhead like Tohru's late mother Kyoko when she was his age. Uo lampshades this when Kyo first joins their class. Surprisingly, they actually did know each other.
• Minor example in Future Diary—Yukiteru's first crush looks very similar to his mother.
• Fullmetal Alchemist (2003): Katherine Armstrong tells Havoc that she wants a man more like her brother Alex. Played for laughs because her brother is huge, musclebound, and can generate pink sparkles when he gets hammy. Havoc's reaction is priceless.
• Nagi of Hayate the Combat Butler has a crush on Hayate, who apparently looks very much like her mother and father. How much he looks like her mother is actually commented on by another character.
• In Kotoura-san, Haruka's grandfather has taken care of his granddaughter after the latter suffered Parental Abandonment, so he took the place of "parent." He is strikingly similar to Manabe, Haruka's boyfriend, for being honest guys—perversion included.
• Meru Puri: Queen Veedua eventually comes to accept Airi is Aram's bride, partially because Airi has a fierce personality like hers and never hesitates to tell Aram off if she needs to, much like the Queen's own fierceness towards her son.
• Discussed in Me And My Gangster Neighbor when Kaori mentions that people tend to fall for people like parents after Yuuhi mentions that Aoi's description of his mother sounds like Ayako, whom Kaori believes is romantically involved with him.
• The protagonist of Musume No Iede has a fat mother and father, along with the fact her step-father and father's boyfriend are fat. She's a Chubby Chaser who falls for big guys easily.
• In My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, as I Expected, Komachi Hikigaya describes her image of her ideal man, and she ends up describing her own big brother.
• Naruto:
  • Shikamaru Nara's mother Yoshino is obstinate and rough but also has a sweet side, similarly to Temari, his final opponent in the Chunin Exams and most frequent ally outside the Konoha 11 since. He and Temari deny any relationship despite being seen together so much. They're married with a son in the epilogue.
  • Naruto's future wife Hinata manages to bear similarities to both of his parents, Minato and Kushina:
    • Hinata matches Minato in personality: Both are quiet nice ninja who were the very first people to acknowledge their boisterous counterpart, and who have always loved and admired their boisterous counterpart since they were children.
    • Hinata and Kushina both went through a lot of the same life events and share certain hobbies: Both have unique hair colors that match their respective personalities. Both were kidnapped by Kumo ninja when they were younger because of the powers they possessed. Both fell in love with their husbands because their husbands are good men who are attracted to their strength, consider them very beautiful partly because of their long flowing hair, love their home cooking, and changed them for the better. Both are not afraid to die to protect Naruto because of their love for him. Both were bullied as children because of a physical feature of theirs — Kushina's round face and red hair; Hinata's Byakugan eyes. Both enjoy knitting scarves. Both fell in love with their husbands via Rescue Romance, and both rescue scenarios utilized the Red String of Fate. Both passed down their round face and eye shape to their sons. Finally, both are considered really scary by their sons when they get mad.
  • The sequel manga Boruto has a moment in which after Hinata and Naruto's son, Boruto, makes a Declaration of Protection to Sakura and Sasuke's daughter, Sarada, which makes her blush. He then declares that he wants to become a ninja "like her father", which makes her blush even more, and also makes her think how cool he looks.
• Neon Genesis Evangelion:
  • Misato drunkenly lets out that she broke up with Kaji when she noticed how he reminded her of her father, while he’s carrying her home; they reconcile and hook up again, and she becomes his confidant.
  • Shinji is initially attracted to Rei, and even comments once that she would be a good mother. Rei is actually a clone of Shinji's own mother.
• In Ouran High School Host Club, it's lampshaded how Tamaki Suou and Haruhi's dad are very alike.
• Puella Magi Madoka Magica—according to ancillary material, Madoka's idea of an ideal husband is someone cool like her mother. In the PSP game, Madoka's mom mentions that Homura reminds her of herself at that age.
• Reborn! (2004): Tsuna develops a huge crush on Kyoko, whom he hardly interacts with or knows much about. One thing is very noticeable about her, however, she looks exactly like his mother. Even their personalities are very much alike.
• In Sailor Moon, it's pointed out that while Usagi's father initially doesn't like Mamoru very much, the two of them are strikingly similar.
• In Saint Dragon Girl Miracle it's noted several times that Ren looks exactly like Anju's father Ryuga, both by Anju herself and her mother Momoka (and Ren's best friend Ryuuji when they finally get to meet her father). Anju doesn't end up with Ren however, instead ending up with Ryuuji
• SPY×FAMILY: While they're only in a Marriage of Convenience, Loid remarks in Mission 35 that Yor reminds him of his late mother, particularly the safety and security her presence gave, the same way Anya feels safe around Yor.
• A convoluted example occurs in Tsubasa -RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE-. Syaoran Jr.'s mother is his girlfriend's clone, reincarnated backwards in time to get married to Syaoran Jr.'s clone, who becomes Syaoran Sr., meaning technically he and his dad are the same person and his mom is a copy of his girlfriend rather than the other way around. It's complicated, OK?
• In Violinist of Hameln, Hamel's love interest Flute is stated to resemble his mother, Pandora, as they're both kind, gentle and accepting. They interchange in Hamel's dream sequences, and his best friend Raiel outright states Flute would be good for Hamel because she's like Pandora.
• In Your Lie in April, Kousei begins to realize that his crush Kaori and his mother are quite similar; they're both obsessed with music, they're constantly pushing him into becoming a better pianist and are prone to drastic mood swings. They are both also sick with unnamed diseases that are fatal; Kousei's mother ended up dying from her illness and, despite the glimmer of hope, Kaori doesn't survive hers either. This is lampshaded in episode 16 when Kousei, Watari, and Tsubaki visit Kaori in the hospital and Kaori yells at him for not practicing for the upcoming competition in such a way that in Kousei's eyes, the room begins to glitch and Kaori turns into his mother.

Comic Books

• Batman is essentially an angst-y brooding kid with Parental Abandonment issues so it's not surprising that this angle shows up in his messy relationships. His two most prominent love interests Talia Al Ghul and Catwoman share similarities with his mother Martha Wayne, an elegant and beautiful philanthropist. While both Talia and Selina are criminals to varying degrees,^note  Talia used to not really be outright villainous but has become more that way over the years. Selina used to be more of a villain but now is more of an Anti-Hero who also steals stuff their civilian identities and private pursuits show similar philanthropic threats with Talia being outwardly the same social class as Martha and Selina being an activist turned robin-hood crook. The Dark Knight Rises especially plays with this with the running motif of Selina stealing Martha's pearl necklace which Bruce finally gives to her for real in the epilogue where he and Selina hooked up.
• In Gotham City Sirens, Harley Quinn's father turns out to be an incorrigible con artist constantly in and out of prison. His modus operandi is making women feel young and appreciated before taking them for everything they have, and he's smiling in almost every panel. Parallels to The Joker are quite obvious. He even looks a little like Joker (specifically the Jack Nicholson portrayal).
• Hound: Cú Cullan eventually marries Emer, who has blonde hair like his mother, Detira. Both of the women love him—without guile or manipulation on their part unlike Morrigan—and die courageously standing up to the goddess of war for him.
• A number of continuities have played up similarities between Lois Lane and Superman's biological Kryptonian mother Lara and his adopted mother Martha Kent.
  • In the Silver Age, rather than the hard-nosed military man he later became, Lois' father Sam Lane was a farmer who had slicked back black hair and round glasses just like Clark Kent.
• Spider-Man:
  • A few of the comics have strongly implied that the reason Aunt May gravitated to Mary Jane Watson to the point of being matchmaker for her and Peter, is that she saw in MJ a little of herself (i.e. a tough and determined working-class woman who didn't let the hard knocks in her life get in the way of her cheerful and helpful demeanor) and as someone who could look after Peter as and when she died (given that as an elderly widow with Peter as her only family she was quite anxious to see her adopted son settled down). The fact that Peter and MJ remained together as a married couple for a long time as a childless couple (in the main continuity) make them echo Ben and May's own relationship, and their lifelong devotion to each other. In Spider-Man (PS4) when consoling Peter about his on-off relationship with MJ, May reminds him that she and Ben had similar fights and tussles early in their relationship too.
  • Incidentally, Peter's mother Mary Parker shares a first name with MJ and when the comics finally dealt with their backstory, his parents were painted as SHIELD agents and a Battle Couple who tussled with threats on their own (much like Peter and MJ a few times in their marriage), and while a brunette, Mary Parker tended to look a little like MJ (though that might be because of the limited nature of Marvel's art style than anything). This is Lampshaded in Ultimate Marvel, where Ultimate May (who's initially not as much of a shipper for Peter and MJ, though Ultimate Uncle Ben was), after learning that Peter and MJ started dating, stated that his own parents were high-school sweethearts too.

Comic Strips

• In Calvin and Hobbes, Susie Derkins, whom Calvin has something of a love-hate relationship with, bears a strong resemblance to his mother, both intelligent, sarcastic brunettes who don't suffer fools gladly.
• For Better or for Worse
  • April once claimed that Elizabeth's boyfriend (and eventual husband), Anthony, was exactly like their dad.
  • John himself compares Anthony to John.

Fan Works

• Invoked in Animorphs Redux when Tobias observes that Loren reminds him of Rachel, but Rachel asks him not to bring that up as it just makes things weird given how she feels about him.
• Referenced in By Any Other Name, when after seeing Wu Yingtai handling the ghost arm, Lan Xichen reflects that of course Jiang Cheng wouldn't fall for a woman less dangerous than his fearsome mother.
• In Child of the Storm, Jack O'Neill retains his canon attraction to Samantha Carter, a blonde military woman. As it happens, his mother is another blonde military woman - well, espionage-military (with, as it happens, coincidentally the same last name).
• In Code Geass: The Prepared Rebellion, Lelouch starts falling for Kallen, a girl very similar to his mother (or rather, her public face).
• Played with in in Digimon Adventure 02: The Story We Never Told when Tai and Sora begin a relationship. Haruhiko (Sora's father) reveals that He, Hiroaki Ishida (Matt's father), and Yukio Oikawa were among the original Digidestined. Furthermore, he was their leader and had quite the wild taste in hair style
• Hair the Color of Saffron features a discussion of this trope:
  Melisandre: There are those who say that men are attracted to women who remind them of their mothers.
  Stannis: You do not remind me of my mother. Not in the least. No two women could be more different, in fact.
  Melisandre: Ahhhh... so you admit that you are attracted to me?
• The most Crossover Ship between Naruto and Fairy Tail is Naruto and Erza, most fics make the reason due to how the latter resembles the former's deceased mother.
• Nullmetal Alchemist:
  Al: She's [Psiren] amazing isn't she?
  Ed: Well yeah. Of the women who've seen my naughty bits she ranks up there.
  Al: But she's special.
  Ed: Uh huh.
  Al: You don't understand. She awakens a fire within me!
  Ed: Lovely.
  Al: I haven't been this enraptured by a woman since... [flashback to his mother smiling at him] Since...
  Ed: Since... since... [beat] Wait a sec! You're attracted to her because she reminds you of mum!
• Service with a Smile: Jaune's girlfriend Miltia is foul-mouthed and domineering, never shy about telling him when he did something wrong. When she's about to meet Jaune's mother Juniper, she reminds herself to avoid swearing. When Juniper shows up, the first thing she does is scream at Jaune "What the fuck were you thinking!?" Jaune's father sheepishly says that the men of their family have submissive genes.
• Carter worries about this in Tithing Love. Claire's father was a Gold Digger deadbeat who didn't work and lived off of his wife. Carter doesn't want to be like that with Claire, but he's scared that being a pastor constantly on the verge of poverty means he'll bring back bad memories for Claire.
• VampireMeerkat depicts the Kanker sisters as being attracted to the Ed's because they look like their dads, despite the fact they never met their dads.

Films — Animation

• In An Extremely Goofy Movie, PJ ends up with an auburn-haired, hourglass-figured woman who is normally snarky but sweet and sensitive to him, protects him from being mistreated in her presence, and is forceful enough with her voice that she doesn't need to resort to physical violence to make jerks fall in line. These traits are all shared by PJ's mother, as shown in Goof Troop.
• In Joseph: King of Dreams, Joseph's wife Asenath reprises the song that his mother, Rachel, sang earlier in the movie, in both cases to urge reconciliation between him and his brothers.
• Meta-example in Meet the Robinsons: Word of God says that they used the same character model for both Lewis' birth mother and adult!Franny. This is especially obvious if you notice their ridiculously tiny waists. On a less meta note, Lewis first comes to see adult!Franny as a mother figure before discovering that she's actually his future wife. The somewhat-icky implications are glossed over when he meets young!Franny in his own timeline and expresses more amused recognition than attraction.

Films — Live-Action

• In Addams Family Values, Wednesday and her Love Interest, Joel, do Gomez and Morticia's "cara mia/mon cher" lines right before they first kiss. Later, Joel attends Pubert's birthday party dressed up like Gomez, mustache included.
  Joel: How do I look?
  Wednesday: Disturbing.
• In Back to the Future, Marty McFly marries Jennifer Parker who is quiet, soft-spoken, and easygoing just like his father George McFly. Word of God used this trope to explain why Marty's mother Lorraine and his paternal great-great-grandmother Maggie McFly are both played by Lea Thompson, saying that all McFly men are genetically predisposed to be attracted to women who look like Lea Thompson. This is elaborated further in the Telltale game series, where paternal grandmother Trixie Trotter (real name Sylvia Miskin) uses the same model as that of Jennifer Parker.
• Pushed to the extreme in the French movie Itineraire d'un enfant gâté: Not only does the daughter want someone like her dad and ends up having a son from a man her father's age, then marrying a guy trained by her dad to act like him, but it's implied that it's also the case of the son.
• The Fly II: Martin's girlfriend Beth bears a rather striking resemblance to his late mother Veronica. Which is especially odd considering that Martin has only met his mother for a few seconds before her Death by Childbirth, though the film does show Martin displaying superhuman memory skills even as a toddler.
• In An Officer and a Gentleman, Paula confesses to Zack that she loves him because he reminds her of her father, a Navy aviator.
• Real Genius: Jordan has the same mannerisms as Mitch's mother. In modern times, she would possibly have been diagnosed with ADHD.
• Sylvie's Love: Robert is a saxophonist like his love interest Sylvie's father was.

Literature

• In Almost Perfect (2014), dog breeder Bess's son David becomes attracted to Dr. Kate, the therapist at Benny's special school. When Bess meets Kate, she understands why: both women are Married to the Job.
  Bess: My kennel, your school. The kind of women people don't think have real lives.
• Animorphs: Tobias's mother Loren is a feisty, fearless, often reckless, and smart-mouthed blonde who falls for a guy outside her species. All of these traits hold equally true for his love interest, Rachel.
• In A Brother's Price, Ren asks Captain Raven Tern for advice whether Jerin would make a good husband. Raven replies that Jerin is a bit like Ren's father (who was poisoned some years ago), but more strong-willed. She points out that this is a good thing, as Ren's father did nothing to prevent the princesses' abusive husband (who also died in the meantime) from, well, abusing them. Jerin is more of a spirited young gentleman and would not give up so easily.
• "Cindy and Cragg": Cragg explains that he likes Cindy because she reminds him of his vulkon (an assigned caretaker to adolescent Saturnites), so the closest translation to what he's saying is that he's into her because she reminds him of his mother.
• A Cry in the Night: Erich often says that his wife Jenny reminds him of his mother Caroline, and it's noted by several characters that they also look remarkably alike.
• The Dresden Files: Molly Carpenter has a crush on Harry, which he attributes to this. People unfamiliar with the story of how Michael and Charity got together might not see the connection. Harry is a snarky Squishy Wizard while Michael is a pious and buff swordsman. They do not look alike or act alike. The trope comes into play because both of them rescued a woman from terrible danger and almost certain death. Michael rescued Charity from a dragon, Harry protected Molly from execution by the White Council. Molly wants a man that has the same virtues as her father, other more superficial similarities are apparently superfluous. They are also both warriors who are willing to lay down their lives to protect their loved ones, the innocent, and the different codes of ethics they subscribe to. Michael and Harry are pretty darn similar.
  • It's also interesting that Molly was dating a guy who superficially looks like Harry, and was a martial artist (not unlike Harry). In Ghost Story it's still going on and is full-scale love and devotion.
  • It also overlaps slightly with Dating What Daddy Hates, since Molly's mother Charity does not like Harry at all in the earlier books, though she has valid reasons to do so, even if none of them are Harry's fault. Initially, it appears that it's just her husband getting hurt when he's with Harry, though that's partly due to the sheer level of danger the two find themselves in. Later, it's revealed that separately, she had magical abilities and came from money, so got sent to "schools and hospitals disguised as schools", before rebelling and joining a cult, whose leader was playing with dark magic, sacrificing people for power - she figured it out, and was consequently next to be sacrificed before Michael rescued her. Afterwards, she set aside her magic, but faced urges to do horrible things with her abilities, and was terrified that her daughter, conceived soon enough after her rescue that she had the potential for magic, would end up going the same way - though ironically, she ended up causing the same scenario by trying to force her daughter to set it aside. Once Harry figures it out, and saves her daughter's life twice over, she starts warming up to him.
• Earth's Children: Ayla prefers the look of Neanderthals to the look of humans, having been raised by the former.
• In Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation: Mo Dao Zu Shi, Lan Xichen tells Wei Wuxian, his brother Lan Wangji's male love interest, about their parents' relationship wherein their mother allegedly committed murder and their father kept her as a Madwoman in the Attic, in the hope that Wei Wuxian would note the parallels with his relationship with Lan Wangji. As at this point, Wei Wuxian has no idea that Lan Wangji is romantically interested in him, the point of the conversation goes right over his head.
• Several of the Official Couples in Harry Potter fall into this:
  • Harry's main love interest, Ginny, is very similar to his mother, Lily. Both are redheads, influential, and talented, have an active social life, and are considered attractive by several men. Both befriend, and often defend, rather unpopular people — for Ginny, it's Neville and Luna; for Lily, it was Snape. Finally, both fall in love with and marry good men. In this 2005 interview, Word of God acknowledges that both Ginny and Lily are popular girls. Also, both Ginny and Harry's father, James, are purebloods and Chasers on the Gryffindor Quidditch team.
  • Ron's relationship with his main love interest, Hermione, is very similar to the relationship between his parents. Lampshaded multiple times, when the narration — which is from Harry's perspective — describes Hermione as acting very much like Molly Weasley. In Order of the Phoenix, the narration even points out that Ron and Hermione's bickering is strongly reminiscent of Molly and Arthur's own bickering.
  • Fleur Delacour, who marries Ron and Ginny's oldest brother Bill, is also described as acting like Molly in the final two books, particularly in how she worries and fusses over the younger characters and uses magic to clean and make dinner.
• Played with in the Hurog series with Ward. His mother is rather weak, having fled into drug-addiction when it became clear that her husband was abusive towards her, as well as towards the kids. However, his aunt on his mother's side, who is also rumoured to have had an affair with his father, is a mentally strong, muscular woman who serves as weaponmaster, in a largely patriarchal setting. Ward has a big crush on a young woman who his very much like his aunt.
• At the end of Jacob Have I Loved, by Katherine Paterson, the narrator starts to fall in love with a coal miner, who is several years older than her, when she realizes that he's the kind of man who would "sing to the oysters," a quirk of her fisherman father.
• Explicitly outlined in Raptor Red; her father defined what Raptor Red looked for in a mate. Since she's, well, a Utahraptor, the text even brings up imprinting.
• Reign of the Seven Spellblades: Oliver Horn's Love Interest, The Lancer Nanao Hibiya, starts to draw comparisons from various characters to the famous battlemage Chloe "Two-Blade" Halford as the series goes on: both are Ladies of War and Master Swordsmen (Nanao a former samurai, Chloe famed for Dual Wielding), as well as extremely talented Flying Broomstick riders who even bond to the same Moody Mount because of their similar mana signatures. Nobody present except Oliver is aware that Halford, who was murdered in the prologue, was his mother (she was killed when he was about five).
• In Red Dwarf, the crew end up locked into the virtual reality game Better Than Life, which fulfills all your deepest desires and fantasies - at the price of eventually killing you as your body wastes and dies in the real world. Arnold Rimmer finds himself with his dream girl, the embodiment of all his wishes and desires. She is older than he is, dumpy, frumpy, embittered, sexually frigid, and dresses in sensible clothing. It takes him a while to work out what his subconscious is doing to him here, but when he does, he has a moment of complete soul-squeezing squick.
• A Simple Favor: Stephanie took it to the logical extreme, beginning an incestuous relationship with her newly-discovered half-brother specifically because of his resemblance to their father. Her father's recent death and the shock of meeting someone who looked just like him right after the funeral probably contributed.
• Stephen King
  • Two of the protagonists of IT, upon growing up, marry people like their parents. Eddie Kaspbrak, the kid with asthma and a Beloved Smother, upon growing up, would marry Myra, a woman who is very much like her. In the 2019 film adaptation, they're even played by the same actress. Beverly Marsh, the only girl of the Loser's Club and whose father was abusive as hell, would marry Tom Rogan, a man just as abusive as her father.
  • Misery. When Paul finds Annie's scrapbook, he sees a photo of her husband, who is the spitting image of her father.
• Tortall Universe: In Protector of the Small, the Yamani princess who has been engaged to Prince Roald was told that men whose mothers are strong and warlike want wives who aren't. Roald's friends think this is stupid. They're right.
• In the novel Vamped, the girl's love interest and her adoptive father are getting a drink together. There's an awkward moment when they both look at their reflections and realize how similar they look…
• In Warrior Cats Thunder tells Clear Sky that Star Flower is his mate only because he's like her father, One Eye.
• In James H. Schmitz's The Witches of Karres, young heroine Goth announces that she is going to marry the (adult) hero when she grows up. It is noted by several characters that said hero very much resembles her father. (They're distant cousins.)

Live-Action TV

• 30 Rock:
  • There's an episode where Liz's much-younger boyfriend's mother turned out to be the spitting image of Liz, even wearing the same outfit. Creeped out, Liz ended their relationship.
  • In a later episode, Jack is demoralised when he realises that one of the women he is dating also has a circle of younger boyfriends, with Jack as her older man. However, Jenna encourages him to embrace it by pointing out all the exhausting things he doesn't have to do with her that the younger men do, and the final scene of the episode shows him watching a black and white movie while she brings him soup.
• The Affair: Helen says that she married Noah because she didn't want to marry someone like her father, but that she didn't realize that she married someone like her mother instead.
• The Big Bang Theory:
  • After psychoanalysing Penny, Leonard's mother tells him that if he wants to have sex with Penny he should use the same kind of cologne her father wears.
  • Similarly, Howard thinks it's hot when his fiancée yells at him and sounds exactly like his mother. But then, Howard's relationship with his mother is rather abnormal.
• The Bold and the Beautiful's Taylor Hayes finally realized that the reason her on-again/off-again mother-in-law Stephanie had always supported her in the eternal Love Triangle between her, Brooke, and Stephanie's beloved son Ridge is because Taylor reminded her so much of herself. Therefore, if Stephanie herself couldn't be with Ridge, she could at least settle for him being with someone just like her.
• Californication: Becca has some serious father issues. Her season 5 boyfriend Tyler is basically a younger version of her father Hank Moody, which is acknowledged In-Universe. Hank is an acclaimed writer but has troubles dealing with life in general. Becca's boyfriend Tyler has a brilliant literary mind, but unfortunately he is also a jerk who cheats on her and lies to her. Becca follows her mother Karen's pattern of constant forgiving him.
• Castle's mom and first wife are both redheads, and his first wife is a lot like his mom (though they're both too busy hating each other to notice it). Beckett also warns him that because of how much she adores him, his daughter is likely to end up dating someone like him. Castle is less than thrilled with the idea.
• In The Class, Holly Ellenbogen's husband and father are both extremely Camp Straight.
• A common refrain in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is that one's relationships with one's parents set the standard for who a person wants to date. Rebecca in particular brings this up often, at one point comparing her mother starting to act nice to her to being asked out by the cool boy at school. However, the guys she becomes interested in are generally not like her Disappeared Dad - Josh in particular represents the kind of carefree normality she was never able to get. The trope is played straight with the most destructive relationship she ever entered into, however - a middle-aged professor she dated in college who promised to leave his wife for her but then backed out.
• Decoy: In "Cry Revenge," a teenage girl falls in love with the man who's been making threatening phone calls to her mother because he's a violent, alcoholic criminal, just like her beloved father.
• Doctor Who:
  • In "Father's Day" we meet Rose's father, an amateur inventor and entrepreneur, who underneath his irresponsible façade is actually a heroic man. (Similar to the Doctor, whom she falls in love with over time.)
  • River Song has been shown to have a thing for strong men dressed in Roman Centurion uniforms. We eventually find out that her father is Rory Williams, who was resurrected as a centurion and then spent two thousand years guarding the tomb of his fiancée (River's mother), which earned him a place in myth as the Last Centurion. When he shows up at Stormcage, River initially mistakes him for a guard dressed as a centurion and notes that they normally don't listen to her suggestions.
• In The Drew Carey Show, Drew enters into a May–December Romance with a woman who reminds everyone else of Drew's mother while Drew himself is oblivious. Drew is thoroughly squicked soon after it is pointed out to him.
• Frasier dates a woman who is the spitting image of his mother—Niles and Martin see it, but Frasier can't or won't. An old home movie eventually tips him off. It gets better: Frasier is a Freudian psychiatrist.
• Friends parodies this, where Rachel's father is visiting at the same time as her mother, and as the two hate each other, Rachel has to set them in separate rooms. When Ross tries to get Rachel's father's glasses, drink, and cigarettes, Rachel's mother notices, and advises Rachel see a psychiatrist as "you've chosen a boyfriend who is exactly like your father."
  Chandler: Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors, anyway? Is, like, your father a doctor?
  Rachel: Yeah, why?
• In From Dusk Till Dawn Scott accuses Katie of this: the preacher’s daughter dating a guy who texts her Bible quotes as a way of flirting.
• In one episode of Gilmore Girls Lorelai notes that Rory's current boyfriend Dean vaguely resembles Rory's father, Chris, and wonders if this means something (Chris is basically an absentee dad at this point). Sookie suggests this might just mean that Rory inherited Lorelai's tastes.
  • Ironically, Dean is almost nothing like Chris, but similar to Luke, Rory's surrogate father and Lorelai's eventual fiancee.
  • Rory's next boyfriend Jess is actually Luke's nephew and shares even more similarities with him than Dean did. So, Rory ended up with a miniature of her surrogate father/her mother's partner, and Lorelai with an older version of her daughter's boyfriend. The writers must love this trope.
  • Ultimately it's boyfriend number 3, Logan, who bears a resemblance to Chris. Made even funnier when Chris instantly takes a liking to him and tells Rory he approves. Lorelai takes a bit longer to warm up.
  • The revival makes this trope explicit, with Rory following directly in Lorelai's footsteps; Logan playing the Christopher to Jess's implied role as Luke in Rory's future. And in case it wasn't obvious enough, there's a Gag Echo in "Fall" with Luke scolding Lorelai for being in the house the day before the wedding—he can't see her, it's bad luck. Lorelai asks "Oh, are we doing that?" When Rory walks into the room to see what the noise is, she and Jess repeat the conversation pretty much word-for-word.
• It's spelled out explicitly in Heroes season 2, with Claire and her creepy stalker guy. Particularly interesting example in that West is considered by Sandra to be personality-wise like Claire's adoptive father Noah, but his more obvious likeness (i.e., they can both fly) is to her biological father Nathan.
• House: Pointed out by House as the reason why Chase is attracted to a doctor he was responsible for hiring as part of House's diagnostics team, demonstrating this with a side-by-side photo projection which shows an uncanny physical resemblance between the woman and Chase's late mother.
• How I Met Your Mother:
  • Barney exploits this in order to seduce women. He even tries picking a girl up by just walking up to her and saying, "Daddy's home."
    • He later tries to invert this by trying to pick up a woman by talking like a young boy. It eventually works, but said woman creeps him out.
      "Who's your mommy?"
  • An episode is dedicated to this trope when Barney's brother expresses a dislike of his girlfriend Nora because she, in his opinion, reminds him too much of their mother. Later on in the episode, Ted, Robin, Marshall, and Lily all realize that their dates and partners remind each of them of one of their parents and get squicked out. Eventually Barney notices the similarities as well but is okay with it because, as he reasons, his mom is awesome so if his girlfriend is the tiniest bit like her, he's a lucky guy. This helps everyone else get over it.
• Kate's two potential love interests on Lost each remind her of one of her fathers. Jack represents the stand-up guy she thought was her father. Sawyer represents the rogue "stepfather" who turned out to be her biological father (whom she also killed).
• Francis in Malcolm in the Middle can't stand his mother Lois for being a Control Freak with a Hairtrigger Temper, and ironically enough, ends up marrying a woman who has a very similar demeanor to her.
• Million Yen Women: While the pair is only dating at the end of the series, the character who's the daughter of a famous author ends up with one of the writer characters.
• Modern Family:
  • Haley becomes interested in the goofy, bumbling, sweetheart Real Estate agent Andy, who gets along swimmingly with her dad, Phil, his mentor. Seeing them interact together makes Haley come to the realization that they are shockingly similar, and it puts her off of the whole thing for a little while.
  • In the episode "Someone to Watch Over Lily", Claire worries that her son Luke (who is worryingly like Phil) is incapable of functioning on his own. Phil tells her not to worry because Luke will find a girl like Claire to balance him out, basically invoking this trope.
    Phil: You know why he's gonna be ok? Because somewhere out there is a worried little girl out there who's making lists and labeling bins, and he's gonna find her.
• Reversed in My Family, where Susan sets her son Michael up with a girlfriend that is exactly like her and no one notices until the father Ben points this out, at which point Michael is completely disgusted with himself.
• The Nanny: Mr Sheffield's stepmother, the secretary his father left his mother for, bears a lot of similarities to Fran. When they appear together they're even dressed the same.
• New Girl has Jess's parents visit, and their dynamic and behavior greatly mirrors Nick and Jess's. Jess's father is grumpy, stubborn, and refuses to take left turns to the point where he'll take three rights to avoid them; a quirk of Nick's. Jess's mother is quirky, perky, and a school teacher.
• One Life to Live's Viki Buchanan became attracted to Sloan Carpenter because of his resemblance—both physically and personality-wise—to her late father. This became seriously disturbing when it was learned that her father sexually abused her from when she was 7 until she was a young adult.
• On Parks and Recreation, Ron has two bitchy ex-wives, both of whom are named Tammy:
  Ron: Yes, my mother's name is Tammy. What's your point?
• The Phantom of the Opera (1990): In addition to carrying over the fact that Christine's interest in the Phantom is that he reminds her of her dad, this version adds that part of the reason he loves her is because she resembles his mother.
• Press Gang: Spike's mom is a copy of Linda, Spike's girlfriend, down to her being played by the same actress in a flashback.
• Psych: Juliet's father is a sticky-fingered conman. Her stepfather leads a double life on account of his gambling debts in Mexico. Her eventual boyfriend has been lying to her and the rest of the police department for years about being a psychic in order to help with cases. It isn't pretty when she finds out.
• Roseanne
  • D. J. briefly had a bossy girlfriend eerily reminiscent of his mother. It forced Roseanne to wonder if the way she treated Dan was having a negative effect on him (though of course, not much comes from it).
  • In a first season episode, Dan and Roseanne have just learned that Becky's crush will be working at the bowling alley that they're going to. Leading to this exchange:
    Dan: So, little Becky's got her first boyfriend, huh?
    Roseanne: [excitedly] Oh, I wonder what this guy's like!
    Dan: Come on Rosie, you know girls always go for guys that remind them of their fathers.
    Roseanne: Not if they listen to their mothers!
  • In another episode, Roseanne invokes this trope, yelling at Dan because she doesn't like her daughter Becky's boyfriend. When Dan asks why that's his fault, she responds that "girls always marry their fathers." This is portrayed as irrational, though it seems Dan and Roseanne's early romance was at least somewhat similar (Dan is described as having once been rather cool, in a rock band, etc.)
  • And much later, Mark (the boyfriend, and eventual husband, mentioned above) and Dan bond over the fact that they ARE so similar, with several characters commenting on how similar they are. (David, Darlene's eventual husband and Mark's brother, does NOT follow this rule, being meek, book-smart and artistic.)
• Schitt's Creek has both Rose children falling for men like their father Johnny:
  • Wild child Alexis Rose falls in love with uptight, Kindly Vet Ted Mullens, who likes to care for Alexis the way Johnny cares for Moira.
  • Camp Gay David Rose falls in love with button-downed, Straight Gay Patrick, who handles the business side of their business. Like Johnny, Patrick has a penchant for gift-giving and the occasional Grand Romantic Gesture.
• Scrubs:
  • Carla realizes she's exactly like "Mama Turk" and has a mini Freak Out as a result.
  • Justified by Turk, who actually admits this is why he likes Carla (who immediately gets up before he makes sure to explain), with him saying that their similarities ("smart, independent, always looking out for you") are actually rather attractive traits in a person, regardless of being shared with a parent.
  • Lady is able to overlook the Janitor's many, many eccentricities because she's attracted to his cleanliness. ("You also look like my father, but that's a whole other set of issues.")
  • When JD first met Jordan, he asked Dr. Cox why he and Jordan got divorced.
  Dr. Cox: You know the story. You marry a girl because she reminds you of your mother. Then you remember you hate your mother.
• Discussed in Sex and the City. Carrie wonders if her father walking out on them when she was 5 is the reason she has such problems with men until Miranda assures her that she has the same problems and her dad was home every day at 7. That sounds like the writers defying the inevitable comments that the girls must have "daddy issues."
• Sons of Anarchy: Discussed between Jax and his actual mother Gemma no less. When she sees him hooking up with the female brothel manager of Diosa International (who is slightly older than most of the girls working in the place), Gemma refers to her as "Miss Mommy Fetish". Jax replies that if he actually had any hang-ups about Gemma, he'd be attracted to a psycho dominatrix instead. Besides, NO WAY does he ever want to hear the words "mommy fetish" coming out of the mouth of his own mother.
• In a third season episode of The Sopranos, Dr. Melfi helps Tony realize that his tumultuous relationship with his mother leads him to attempt relationships with women almost exactly like her personality-wise. His girlfriend of the season, Gloria, is arguably the worst in this regard (even using the same "Poor you" catchphrase as his mother), and the consequences are disastrous.
  • In the prequel movie The Many Saints of Newark, the younger Livia is played by Edie Falco lookalike Vera Farmigia. Based on the trailer, she also speaks and acts very similar to Carmela.
• Briefly Discussed and Defied in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine—after bonding with the Dax symbiote, Ezri mentions that she broke up with her boyfriend because he reminded her too much of her son. Well, not her son, but the son of a previous Dax host whose memories she now possessed. Still a bit too weird for her.
• Implied in the Superstore episode "The Trough." Glenn mentions that he has his wife Jerusha play his mother sometimes so he can act out his repressed feelings, and remarks that Jerusha doesn't even need a wig because she looks like... Then an uncomfortable look emerges on his face as he connects the dots.
• Two and a Half Men:
  • In one episode Charlie dates a real estate agent who dresses, acts, and belittles everyone exactly like his mother. She even has two sons who act exactly like the titular two brothers as kids, and meeting them is when Charlie realized it, as before he had been in oblivious denial despite everyone else trying to tell him.
  • The father of Charlie's semi-stalker, Rose, is played by Martin Sheen.
• Veep:
  • Catherine starts dating Marjorie, a Secret Service agent hired as a body double because she resembles Catherine's mother Selina from behind, and even raises a child with her. Though due to said mother's political dealing in the last season they can't legally be married.
  • While planning to write for her memoirs, Selina learns that her father was a serial adulterer and con man who forced his wife to tolerate his numerous sexual affairs with secretaries. Selina realizes how similar he was to her ex-husband Andrew, causing her to remark, "I married my father."
• In The X-Files, Scully once admitted to being turned on by men who reminded her of her father.

Music

• "I Remember Everything" by Zach Bryan and Kacey Musgraves starts with "Do I remind you of your daddy in his '88 Ford?" and ends with "Do I remind you of your daddy in my '88 Ford?"
• The Chromeo song "Momma's Boy" is about a man who likes a woman because she looks like his mother. The woman also likes him because he looks like her father.
• In HoneyWorks' song "Mama", the daughter of the title character would eventually marry a man who looks a lot like her father.
• "I Want A Girl" by Will Dillon and Harry Tilzer from 1911, mentioned in Western Animation below for DuckTales (1987).
  I want a girl, just like the girl, that married dear old Dad
• Lady Gaga: the character in her song, Alejandro is mentioned as having a boyfriend who's "like her dad".
• The Lonely Island: Played for laughs in "Motherlovers". Since they both forgot to get a gift for their mothers on Mother's Day, they come up with the brilliant plan to both have sex with their best friend's mother. Since they are like brothers to each other. And they obviously couldn't do it themselves.
• The Police song "Mother" from the 1983 album Synchronicity.

Myths & Religion

• In The Bible, Isaac has a Perfectly Arranged Marriage with Rebecca shortly after Sarah's death; he gives her Sarah's old tent and she comforts him from his grieving. One Jewish tradition holds that certain miracles had occurred during Sarah's lifetime and only resumed after Rebecca showed up.

Podcasts

• On Mission to Zyxx C-53 and Pleck note that Dar's parent Dad and Dar's partner Nermut share some characteristics like loud Hawaiian shirts and a penchant for corny jokes.

Stand-Up

• Taylor Tomlinson:"They say you daye people who are like your parents, but it's never your parent's good qualities, is it? I've never dated a guy who could sing, I've dated three who forgot my birthday, okay?"

Theater

• Company: When Larry is explaining why he loves Joanne despite her snarkiness and abrasive behaviour, he mentions that his mother was a "very difficult woman", suggesting that this trope is in play.
• The Phantom of the Opera: Part of Christine's attraction to The Phantom is that he reminds her of her father.

Video Games

• In Disgaea: Hour of Darkness, Laharl's Implied Love Interest, Flonne, is stated to be very much like his dead mother.
• Dragon Age:
  • Since Alistair's mother is Fiona, he qualifies in any playthrough where he is romanced by a female elf main character in Dragon Age: Origins, bonus points if she is a mage.
  • In Dragon Age II, Gamlen lampshades this if female Hawke is romancing Anders. Hawke's mother married an apostate.
  • Implied in Dragon Age: Inquisition with Dorian and his Arranged Marriage. He mentions that his parents hated each other but went along with their own betrothal for the sake of appearances and preserving their positions. The one time Dorian mentions his betrothed, he heavily implies that the two of them were Too Much Alike, which, combined with their Incompatible Orientation, would have made them as miserable together as Dorian's parents were if Dorian hadn't left Tevinter.
• Fire Emblem Fates:
  • In the third route, Selena can potentially marry Subaki, who is essentially her mother Cordelia's Spear Counterpart.
  • Odin and Laslow potentially marry women who are like their mothers. To specify, Odin (actually Owain) can marry Elise, whose bubbly personality matches his mother Lissa's, while Laslow (actually Inigo) can marry Azura who is a skilled singer very much like his mother, Olivia.
• It's pretty much all but stated in the Oosawa manga and side materials that one of the biggest reasons why Lord Arvis of Velthomer from Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War married Deirdre was because of how much she looked like his Missing Mom, the long-dead Lady Cigyun. And for worse? Deirdre was the baby whose birth killed Cigyun. So yup, Brother–Sister Incest here too, and they don't even know it.
• Galaxy Angel: In Chitose's route in the second game, she mentions early on that Tact reminds her a lot of her deceased father, whom she describes as very gentle and understanding with people. A flashback also shows that he also had some physical resemblance to Tact, looking a lot like an older version of him.
• Mass Effect: Ashley is a fourth-generation Military Brat (father, grandfather, great-grandmother) whose shown romantic interests are all fellow space marines. If she and Male-Shep are together in the third game, she mentions how much her dad would have liked him.
• In the Star Fox comic by Benimaru Itoh, Fara Phoenix puts on Fox's mother Vixy's dress and suddenly bears an uncanny resemblance to Vixy.

Web Comics

• Check, Please!: Jack and his father are implied to share a type: blondes. Jack's mother is a blonde and sweet woman, and he falls in love with the also blonde and also sweet Eric.
• Used during the infamous Melna/Stonewater storyline of Dominic Deegan strip, where Melna realizes that she's fallen for a man who raped her when she was a teenager to try and save her life (long story) because he reminds her of her dead father.
• Parodied in a Subnormality comic which featured various mutations on spousal archetypes. The "spouse who resembles your opposite-sex parent" panel humorously insinuates that women want an affectionate man while men want a woman who manages their lives.

Web Original

• The Nostalgia Chick:
  • The "Top 10 Hottest Animated Guys," which were chosen by the fanbase, mostly consisted of various types of "bad boys." The Chick concludes that all her viewers are just like her in that they're the children of alcoholics looking for someone to change.
  • Inverted in her "Disney Princesses" review, where she suggests that the number of bumbling, emasculated fathers indicates the princesses were looking for manlier replacements in their husbands.

Western Animation

• American Dad!:
  • In one episode, Hayley dates her father's CIA body double. The same episode implies that her insane anger issues stem from feeling like Stan never accepts her.
  • Another episode focused on Hayley has her worried about being like Francine, before thinking on it and being mortified that her husband Jeff is more like a Spear Counterpart to her mom. Francine picks up on this and trolls Hayley by molding Jeff to be more obviously like herself.
• Arcane:
  • While wounded, Vi briefly hallucinates Caitlyn as her mother, another blue haired woman. Makes all her flirting with Caitlyn before and after this scene take on some interesting implications.
  • Caitlyn also has some pretty important things in common with Vi's adopted father Vander: Both want to help Zaun and establish peace between the two cities, though Caitlyn is much more proactive in her approach, and her comment about Vi having "a good heart" clearly brought Vander to Vi's mind, as he told her the exact same thing at least once. They even both have noticeable British accents.
• In an episode of the original DuckTales, the Beagle Boys sing a song about how they want a girl "Just like the girl that married dear old Dad!"
• Invoked on Family Guy: Chris dates a girl, Lindsay, who basically looks like someone stuck Lois' head on a teenager's body. It turns out that he's dating her for this exact reason—he figures that a.) he's the kind of guy who "only his mother could love," and b.) he's hoping to replicate the kind of dysfunctional dynamic that Lois has with Peter.
• Discussed Trope in Futurama, after Mom slaps her sons around and plots world domination. "Someday I want to marry a girl like her."
• Harley Quinn: Harley's father is a misogynistic jerkass who has always been dismissive of her dreams and has no problems trying to kill her just to get money out of it. Harley blames her unhealthy obsession with abusive and manipulative men like the Joker on her asshole of a father.
• Hazbin Hotel: Though Charlie and her father Lucifer seem much more similar than either are to her girlfriend Vaggie, the revelation that Vaggie is also a Fallen Angel like Lucifer certainly draws attention to their parallels. Both Vaggie and Lucifer are deeply insecure, cynical towards Heaven and supported their respective romantic partners when no one else would. The fact that Charlie and Vaggie's only duet of the first season is a Reprise of Charlie's song with her dad only adds to it.
• Discussed in Home Movies. In "Bad Influences", Brendon starts putting on weight, so Coach McGuirk tells him to go for the girls whose fathers were fat during their "impressionable years." McGuirk later on goes on a disastrous date with the school nurse, and one of the first questions he asked was if her father was fat. In another episode, he drunkenly tells his date "Y'know, I think it was Charles Darwin who said that men want to marry their mothers. So maybe that's why I like you, cause you remind me of my mother. Which is funny, because I hate my mother..."
• In Miraculous Ladybug, Marinette (as Ladybug) and Adrien (in his civilian form) are looking at a picture of Adrien's Missing Mom and comment in unison that the other has her eyes, then act embarrassed about it. The viewer may also note that Adrien and Marinette's father both have green eyes and enjoy playing video games with her, though the show itself has not yet bothered to make that point of comparison.
• The Owl House features a rare example where the love interest shares characteristics with both of the parents. Amity ends up dating Luz, who is a Cloudcuckoolander like her father Alador and impulsive like her mother Odalia. However, Amity's parents are both depicted as being abusive (though Alador is more of an enabler than an active participant, and later makes a genuine effort to improve), while Luz is heroic and altruistic.
• The Simpsons:
  • In one episode, Principal Skinner muses, "I always thought I'd fall for a woman just like Mother...even though I didn't want to."
  • This becomes a plot point in "Luca$", as Marge fears that the reason Lisa’s attracted to Lucas is because he reminds her of a young Homer. Selma flat out tells her that women marry their fathers.

Real Life

• A lot of baby birds will upon hatching imprint on one of the first things they see. As adults, sometimes they go for their own kind, sometimes... they don't.
  • The (nonfiction) book When Elephants Weep details the case of Tex, a whooping crane who was hand-raised and, when mature, rejected male cranes for "Caucasian men of average height with dark hair." Whooping cranes are so endangered that it was thought vital to get her into "breeding condition," at which point she could be successfully artificially inseminated. So the director of the International Crane Foundation, who met the necessary criteria, spent many weeks courting her. It worked, making this a case of Interspecies Romance with emphasis on "romance" in the non-euphemistic sense of the word.
    "My duties involved endless hours of 'just being there,' several minutes of dancing early in the morning and again in the evening, long walks in quest of earthworms, nest building, and defending our territory against humans."
  • On a related note, putting whooping crane eggs into the nests of related sandhill cranes and letting the sandhills raise them results in whooping cranes who are attracted to sandhills. The resulting hybrids are not viable, though.
• This is very much Truth in Television, as psychologists have discovered. The idea is that when you are a child you grow up in a safe, loving environment that sets a template for the future. You look for people similar to your parents because they remind you of the safety you had as a child. Perfectly logical, and only minimally squicky. Your very existence is proof that your parents are a successful template to follow!
  • Mixed with Fridge Horror when you realize that this could apply to people who were raised by Abusive Parents. Contrary to common depictions of Abusive Parents who are not nice, many abusive parents have a nice side. Their children will love them for their nice qualities, but most likely won't be able to filter the abusive aspects out of their template of a perfect mate. While less than one-fifth of people abused as children abuse their kids, ending up with someone who would abuse your kids as a romantic partner is depressingly common for people abused as children. So these people are made vulnerable to Domestic Abuse later on in life.
• When Prince William announced his engagement to Kate Middleton, the British newspapers, with almost disturbing eagerness, began drawing parallels between her and his late mother Princess Diana. The same occurred when his brother Prince Harry started dating Meghan Markle, though in both cases, it was more due to their personalities (and in Meghan's case, her activism) and choice of outfits, especially at key events, since neither woman looks anything like Diana. ^note  In his memoir Spare, Harry notes a moment where he warned Meghan not to take a picture in front of the Taj Mahal during a trip to India, as his mother had done, lest people think she was intentionally trying to invoke comparisons.
• This was almost certainly the case for Alexander the Great if the ancient chroniclers are to be believed. His mother was an ambitious, driven, fierce, and proud woman. His first wife would also fit that description. The only difference was that Roxanna wasn't paranoid and obsessive.

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