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The Thing That Would Not Leave
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We thought he was gone, but he's come back again
Last week it was funny, but now the joke's wearing thin
Cos everyone knows now that every night now
Will be Stephen's last night in town.
Ben Folds Five, "Stephen's Last Night In Town"
It came seventeen years ago — and to this day
It has shown no intention of going away.
Edward Gorey, The Doubtful Guest
Everyone wants to be polite. Especially to a guest in your home. Unfortunately courtesy is not always reciprocated and to your horror you can find yourself trapped with The Thing That Wouldn't Leave.
Many a Dom Com has used the set-up of a house guest that simply will not leave. The put upon homeowners must find a way to remove this intruder without being rude. But no matter how many times they yawn, look at the clock or mention an early appointment for the next day, their guest remains an immovable fixture.
The most common way of getting caught in this trap is to take in a friend who's down on their luck. Supposedly the situation will be temporary until they get back on their feet. Invariably the friend will either be a complete eccentric or have absolutely no regard for the people whose home they're squatting in. After having their lives turned completely upside down by someone who appears to have no clue as to the harm they're doing the inevitable confrontation occurs.
Expect a tearful farewell from the guest as he disappears out into the cold, and a mountain of regret from the homeowners as they wonder whether there was a better way to handle the situation. Or, alternatively, an attempt for the guest to provoke a tearful farewell by acting wounded and bemoaning their hosts' ungraciousness - only for the hard-hearted host, who has gone way past any limits of tolerance they may have had with this annoying and inconsiderate leech, to push them out the door, slam it shut and lock it behind them.
Named for the Saturday Night Live sketch that presented this premise as a horror movie trailer. Compare with The Cat Came Back.
Examples:
Comic Books
- A Silent Hill graphic novel puts a horror twist on this. A bum artist who went from friend to friend mooching this way sees a report on Silent Hill, an abandoned town that still has water and electricity and fully stocked markets. Never questioning his luck for a second, he moves there and starts painting... and seeing ungodly abominations who are always polite to him and pose for his portraits. He paints them, sends the portraits to his manager, becomes famous and rich... and realizes he's in a Closed Circle. The town is punishing his impoliteness. He tries to escape with the help of a bus full of cheerleaders, but that ends badly.
- Squirrel Girl kicked Deadpool out of the GLI clubhouse when he wouldn't leave. She was alerted in a Meanwhile In The Future situation: she had gone to the future, and the team leader (who is immortal) had waited 90 years to ask her to go back in time to kick Deadpool out.
Film
Literature
- Older Than Dirt. In The Odyssey by Homer, during Odysseus' 20-year absence, many young men, assuming that he must have died, took up residence in his mansion and tried to persuade his wife, Penelope, to marry one of them. Penelope believed that Odysseus was still alive and wouldn't take a new husband; meanwhile, the suitors refused to leave and lived off Odysseus' wealth. (When Odysseus finally came back, he fought and killed them.)
- The final chapter of Jane Austen's Pride And Prejudice indicates that Lydia and Wickham often imposed on Jane and Bingley in this way later in life—so much so that Bingley even talked about dropping hints that they should leave. Conversely, any suggestions that they try this with Lizzie and Darcy were flatly rejected, which, given the history between Wickham and Darcy, is entirely unsurprising.
- Diana Wynne Jones's chapter books Chair Person, The Four Grannies and Who Got Rid Of Angus Flint? has been collected as a volume called Stopping For A Spell whose back cover describes all three stories in terms of this trope.
- Bartleby, the Scrivener, by Herman Melville, is about a man who is hired by an office as a scrivener and just won't leave, even though he refuses to work (or rather, 'prefers not to'), and has been told to many times. Though Bartleby's employer puts up with him for a time because he's not harming anything or anyone by merely staying in the office, he ends up deciding to move his offices elsewhere to get rid of him (as he can't bring himself to forcibly throw Bartleby out). Even then, Bartleby still remains in the office building until he is arrested for trespassing because the new owner of the office doesn't want to put up with him.
- As above - E. Gorey's short story The Doubtful Guest involves a highly annoying Penguin-like creature constantly angering a family.
- "It came seventeen years ago — and to this day/ It has shown no intention of going away."
- Ogden Nash wrote a poem about The Thing That Would Not Leave called Polterguest, My Polterguest
 .
Live Action TV
- Most of the subplot with Daphne's irritating mother in the later seasons of Frasier involved her greatly over-staying her welcome when staying with Niles and Daphne. Daphne's brothers also fell into this trope, but mostly because they really were ungrateful and obnoxious spongers who barged into Frasier's apartments and took unreasonable liberties whilst they were there.
- An episode of Father Ted had the priests dealing with Father Stone, the dullest man alive, who absolutely loves staying with Ted.
- The trope name probably came from an SNL horror film trailer parody of that very name (along with other horror film trailers like "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Rogers"). John Belushi was the thing in question.
- This is the premise for Two And A Half Men.
- Subverted in Spaced when Tim's friend Mike moves in for an episode or two. They're still friends and when Mike announces that he'll be moving out Tim and Daisy are actually disappointed.
- Whilst they do remain friends, at least part of their disappointment is because Tim and Daisy had lost their income and were hoping that Mike would help them with the rent; Daisy was notably less impressed when discovering that he'd transformed her room into a rejected set from Apocalypse Now.
Music
- Described in the song We Wish You Weren't Living With Us, by Bob Rivers. It goes to the tune of We Wish You a Merry Christmas.
Newspaper Comics
- One Far Side cartoon featured a caption along the lines of "Jim and Barbara feign death, until the awkwardness finally compels the Henshaws to leave."
Real Life
- In real life, Hans Christian Andersen paid a visit to Charles Dickens. Andersen was supposed to stay for a night, but he ended up mooching off of Dickens for over a month. Reportedly, Dickens made ever-increasingly obvious hints to the ever-oblivious Andersen to leave, and refused to answer Andersen's correspondence when he'd gone - much to Andersen's confusion.
- This troper heard a story about a nobleman who visited someone and stayed for whole seventeen years. (In this case, it was definitively revenge - so you can't blame him for cluelessness.)
Theater
- The Man Who Came To Dinner is, if not the Trope Maker, the source of inspiration for a great many later examples of infuriating semi-permanent houseguests.
- More like the Trope Codifier.
- The play and movie were actually inspired by real life as one of the Kauffman brothers had invited fellow Algonquin Round Table member, theater critic, and all-around Jerk Ass Alexander Wolcott to stay for the weekend. He was so insufferable over just two days, that the playwright had the horrifying thought of what would happen if Wolcott had broken his leg or otherwise wasn't able to leave...
Web Comics
- Used in Casey And Andy where one day, straight out of the blue (apparently while on the way to give Quantum Cop another Nobel Prize), the King Of Sweden (King Carl XVI Gustaf) decided to remain in Casey and Andy's couch and demand they bring him drinks. The only times they managed to get him out of the couch was when they bribed him with drinks to help with a crisis in a fantasy dimension and when he was briefly kidnapped by the Land Pirates (which he joined due to, you guessed it, Stockholm Syndrome). The strip's epilogue reveals he remained there for another 20 years before dying and being replaced by his daughter Victoria.
- The League of Recurring Antagonists seem to have a similar problem with the Emperor of Japan.
- Their next door neighbor Jenn has Queen Elizabeth II of Great Britain on her sofa and scarfing all her lager.
Western Animation
- The Boondocks episode Invasion of the Katrinians. 'Nuff said.
- In one episode of The Simpsons, Otto moves in with the Simpsons after he loses his job. They'd kick him out, but he has nowhere to go.
- The plot of taking a houseguest has been recycled several times: The Simpsons have taken in such Springfield regulars as Krusty, Sideshow Bob, Apu, Chester J. Lampwick and Gil (who stayed a whole year). The most recent example was Kent Brockman, who was subject of a Lampshade Hanging when Homer asks him for an 8"x10" for "the wall of casual acquaintances who came to stay for a while".
- One episode of Spongebob Squarepants takes this to absurd levels with Squidward as the unwanted guest. He takes advantage of Spongebob's natural friendliness, naïveté, and eagerness to help.
- Casey Jones is a mild version of this in one episode of the 2003 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He doesn't stay that long, comparatively, but he does a fair amount of damage to the furnishings before he goes. The Turtles (especially Mikey) even make several "Thing That Would Not Leave" jokes.
- In The Thirteen Ghosts of Scooby-Doo, Vincent Van Ghoul was staying with the crew while his home was being fumigated, he was mostly staying in bed and made unreasonable demands. Daphne called him "The Thing That Wouldn't Leave", and after their trip through the funny papers, the gang groaned when they learned the fumigation was going to take longer.
- Nergal becomes one of these to Billy's family in The Grim Adventures Of Billy And Mandy after losing a board game.
- In an episode of The Angry Beavers titled "The Bing That Wouldn't Leave" involves Norbert and Dagget rescuing a chameleon named Bing who won't leave them alone so they eventually decide to get rid of him.
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