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Girl Scouts Are Evil

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"Y'know, this is gonna sound funny, but you're not the first Girl Scout I've seen possessed by the Devil."
Drew Carey, Whose Line Is It Anyway?

Is there anything more adorable and innocent than a Girl Scout? Definitely yes, if you ask some people (especially in the Webcomic community). For some reason, they often end up depicted as vile monsters who use deceptive cuteness and innocence to guilt-trip adults into buying a product they neither want nor need (viz., Girl Scout cookies) at greatly inflated prices. And if that doesn't work, they've got other weapons they can resort to...

Evil Girl Scouts are a type of Killer Rabbit. They may not actually be called Girl Scouts. Expect them to kick shins. Sibling trope to Milkman Conspiracy. Their cookies may be Made from Real Girl Scouts.


Examples:

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    Comic Books 
  • From the MAD Magazine feature "What's cute...and what's not." (# 249)
    Girl scouts are cute! / Girl scouts selling cookies are not!
  • Joked about by Spider-Man in a crossover with The Punisher and Daredevil. Daredevil has a data drive that many supercriminal organizations are looking for. Spider-Man lists A.I.M., Hydra, the Hand, the Girl Scout Troop 107 from Montauk...
  • Trinity (2008) featured the Justice League having to visit their Mirror Universe, where, along with the evil Justice League, there are two rival groups of Girl Scouts (the Girl Sentries and the Bonfire Girls) actively warring over territories.
  • One of the villains in Man-Eating Cow used Captain Ersatz girl scouts as henchmen.
  • The trope gets an oblique nod in X-23: Innocence Lost: Tyke Bomb Human Weapon assassin X-23 disguises herself as a Girl Scout to gain access to a target for assassination. Said individual was a serial killer who preyed on young girls,note  making the "innocent" Girl Scout an ideal disguise.

    Fan Fiction 
  • In episode 11 of Pretty Cure Perfume Preppy, villainess Lapinyuu disguises herself as a girl scout to enter the Auriville residence. It fails miserably.
    Lapinyuu: Would you like some fresh-baked cookies from Aunt Makoto's Farm? They come in the flavors of chocolate, strawberry, peach, blueberry, pineapple, passion fruit and Oreos with peanut— (Chloe slams door on her face) —butter.
  • Villainous Girl Scouts appear in this Deviation, much to the regret of the artist's OC. (SFW)

    Films — Animation 
  • Nick's backstory in Zootopia is a rare male example. As a child, he tried to join the Junior Ranger Scouts, but since he's a fox, he's bullied and muzzled by the other scouts in the troop and kicked out within minutes of joining. This became Nick's Cynicism Catalyst and he decided to embrace fox stereotypes and become a cynical con artist as he grew up. However, the trope is downplayed as the scouts' actions were intended to demonstrate that the predator/prey bias is present in all levels of society (including children) and not that the Junior Ranger Scout organization itself is unusually evil.

    Films — Live-Action 
  • Two angry Girl Scouts get in a Bar Brawl in a flashback from Airplane!.
  • In DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story, in order to qualify for the dodgeball tournament in Las Vegas, Average Joe's must first defeat a team of aggressive, steroid-using...girl scouts. Well, one of them was busted for using steroids...and a beaver tranquilizer...at the end of the match. Whether the others were using them also is up for debate.
    Girl Scout: Goddamn you, Bernice!
  • The first The Addams Family movie, where Wednesday and Pugsley terrorize a girl scout. That actress returns in the next movie as the Alpha Bitch. It's Mercedes McNab, who went on to play Harmony in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. In said first film, said Alpha Bitch turns up her nose at Wednesday's lemonade stand because she believes the lemonade is not made with real lemons. When she tells Wednesday she's selling Girl Scout Cookies instead, Wednesday asks, "Are they made with real Girl Scouts?" The alpha bitch gives her a horrified look, but doesn't actually say no.... Depending on your interpretation, Wednesday may have just made the joke to get rid of her because she was being an annoying snob. (Well, maybe.)
  • In Troop Beverly Hills, the evil Redfeather Troop fit this trope. (The Beverly Hills Troop are pretty nice, or they eventually become such after Phyllis takes over.)
  • In the Lethal Weapon parody National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1. (Although this is not a real girl scout, but Creepy Crossdresser Tim Curry badly disguised as one.) The plot also revolves around the villains using Girl Scout cookies to hide drug shipments, although the actual girl scouts aren't in on this plan.

    Literature 
  • In the Nick Carter spy novel Temple of Fear, Carter is kidnapped by three Japanese Girl Scouts. Well, actually, they weren't real Girl Scouts but they did fool him.
  • The Ganymede Takeover by Philip K. Dick and Ray Nelson. One of the illusions created by the hell-weapons is a battalion of Brownie Scouts, crushing skulls with their overbaked cookies.
  • One of the Ghosts of Fear Street series by RL Stine was based around the heroine joining a troop of Girl Scouts who all turn out to be undead monsters.
  • An in-universe example occurs in Sharyn McCrumb's Bimbos of the Death Sun. Two of the characters play a no-name version of Illuminati where the Girl Scouts are one of the major power-brokers. For starters, they have nuclear capability and control the KGB.
  • In the Kiki Strike series, Ananka and Kiki recruit their team of delinquent heroes by scouting them out at Girl Scout meetings.
  • At the start of the Alex Rider book Nightshade, two teenage assassins pose as Girl Scouts selling poisoned cakes to the target of an assassination.

    Live-Action TV 
  • In an episode of Sister, Sister, Lisa and Ray have a bet that Ray can't make $20 last an entire week. As soon as Lisa takes Ray's wallet, credit cards, etc, there's a knock at the door. Ray opens to a typical sugar-coated Girl Scout, and 'attempts' to say "No thank you," and closes the door. Cue the furious pounding on the door and the little girl threatening poor Ray. She nearly runs off with the whole $20.
  • In an episode of My Babysitter's a Vampire, girl scouts sell cookies which turn all children creepy and evil, and make all adults leave town.
  • In the Married... with Children episode "At the Zoo", Al gets bullied and intimidated by a Chipmunk girl scout named Courtney for not being able to afford her cookies.
  • In one episode of Murphy Brown, Murphy mentions how she's never trusted Girl Scouts because they "wear paramilitary uniforms while reciting oaths and starting fires."
  • In at least one episode of the American Whose Line Is It Anyway?, Wayne Brady had to portray a sportscaster as played by a possessed Girl Scout.
  • Larry cites this on Dharma & Greg:
    "He acted this way when I wanted to be a Girl Scout."
    "It's a paramilitary organization with cookies!"
  • While not exactly evil, the girl scouts the Ace of Cakes crew run into can turn into something resembling ravenous hordes.
    Mary Alice: "Help me. I'm so scared!"
  • An episode of The Man Show had a segment with a rude girl scout.
  • The Golden Girls had an episode that featured a sweet-faced "Sunshine Cadet," Daisy (played by a young Jenny Lewis), who would kidnap Rose's teddy bear and mail back an ear when a ransom isn't paid.
  • In an episode of Reno 911!, two of the officers are about to walk up to a house to sell candy bars for a fundraiser. Down the sidewalk from them is a girl scout holding a box of cookies. After locking eyes, the cops race to the front door and gloat at beating the girl scout to the doorstep. She replies by whipping out two handguns and shooting at them.
  • iCarly: In iOwe You, the mean teenage Sunshine Girls who are rivaling Spencer for their selling spot at the supermarket. Subverted with the incredibly shy and moe girl Emily who is the daughter of the hot mother Spencer is helping.
  • A recurring Carol Burnett character on The Carol Burnett Show was a girl scout who would blackmail men into buying lots of cookies.
  • You're Skitting Me had an ongoing sketch about a pair of Girl Guides acting like a protection racket and strong-arming an old man into letting them help him across a road (that he didn't want to cross) in order to earn their Being Helpful badge, or threatening to let an old lady see how good they are at tying knots and digging holes.
  • Malcolm in the Middle had Girl Scouts' Fictional Counterpart the Buttercups taken camping by Francis without their troop leader. After getting lost these girls tied him up, wouldn't share the food they scavenged, kicked him out into the cold all night, and actually dragged him through the desert while still tied up. All this for trying to assert some authority.
  • Ray Barone's tribulations with Girl Scout leader "Peggy The Cookie Nazi" on Everybody Loves Raymond. In their first meeting she beats him up and Ray has to be rescued by wife Debra.
  • In Gotham episode "Destiny Calling", among the people infected by the virus are a couple of Girl Scouts chasing a police officer because he wouldn't buy their cookies.
  • An All That skit had a Little Pansy who continuously broke into an old couple's home to sell them cookies each time they refused. They never get rid of her no matter how hard they try.
  • In American Gods the anthropomorphic personification of money has three creepy Girl Scouts who speak in unison acting as his heralds/doorkeepers.
  • Gender-Inverted in The Goodies episode "Scoutrageous" where Bill and Graham become a couple of criminal Boy Scouts who start shaking people down for Bob A Job Week, by tying their legs in Scout knots or robbing a petrol station by threatening to rub two sticks together.

    Newspaper Comics 
  • Garfield has a couple of strips where Girl Scouts resort to karate kicks and other physical attacks to keep Garfield from stealing their cookies. In one strip, after he gets beaten up by one, he says, "I'd turn her in, but who'd ever admit to getting mugged by a Girl Scout?"

    Theater 
  • A Running Gag in the Australian comedy Verve, by Mark Lucas, is a Brownie who keeps stealing money when told to get the money from someone's wallet ("I can trust you, because you're a Brownie"). She doesn't even leave any cookies.

    Toys 
  • One of the Living Dead Dolls is a demonic Girl Scout. The poem on her box reads: Cookie's troop was not going to win / Their bake sale recipe was looking grim / So this sweet girl thought it would be best / To unleash her tasty treats of death.

    Video Games 
  • Appears in Psychonauts, during Boyd Cooper's Mental World, where the Girl Scouts, called "Rainbow Squirts", basically turn out to be the Ancient Conspiracy, and the final boss of the level is The Den Mother. They're in charge of protecting the Manchurian Agent inside of Boyd until he's ready to wake up. It's implied that he sees the agents of his brainwashing as girl scouts because his mother (who he has unresolved issues with) was a Den Mother to a troupe of girl scouts.
  • In City of Villains (ruled with an iron fist by Lord Recluse and his army of spider-themed Faceless Goons), one Mad Scientist contact makes an offhand reference to having bought cookies from the "spiderling-scout" daughter of one of his co-workers.
  • There's a skin mod for Team Fortress 2 to replace the Scout with his apparently existent female sister, effectively named The Girl Scout. She doesn't have any audio clips yet, but based on her description, it's safe to assume she is a girl scout to some extent, and she does kill people. (Well, as much as her brother does.) Subversion; beyond the deliberate pun, she's a 20-something gangster-turned-mercenary just like her brother.
  • One of the video game adaptations for The Fairly OddParents!, Breakin' Da Rules, had a chapter where Vicky hypnotizes the Creme Puffs to kidnap the Squirrely Scouts and tie them up in sheds, barns, and other places. Their main camp looks like a concentration camp, with barbed wire, walls made out of sharpened logs (like old forts), and giant spotlights mounted on towers. They also have glowing red eyes as a side-effect of hypnosis.
  • In Dicey Dungeons, one of the final bosses in a run is Madison, a Girl Scout. One of her attacks is a pocket knife.

    Web Animation 
  • ABC's comedy Ginger Snaps (no relation to the movie) stars the titular group, a Girl Scouts-esque team that sells cookies and seeks to rule the suburbs. They are likened to a drug cartel (that was the original idea the leader had). They are violent, rule with an iron fist, and have enforcers. There's even a plot to dethrone the leader and a plan to use a cancer-stricken girl to sell more cookies.
  • Played with in Camp Camp with the Flower Scouts: the leader of the trio featured is a huge Alpha Bitch (she drove one of the main characters out of the troop), and they sold cookies with Desoxyn in them. Subverted as they didn't know it was a drug because their den mother told them it was sugar.

    Web Original 

    Webcomics 

    Websites 

    Western Animation 
  • Bob's Burgers: Thundergirl Troop 257, introduced in "Tina, Tailor, Soldier, Spy", act more like a girl gang than a typical group of scouts. They have their scout leader cowed into submission, are quite ruthless about securing all the best cookie sales routes, and in a later episode are shown to bully their own fathers and get involved in an Engineered Heroics scam.
  • Futurama once sees Bender attempt to rob three girls scouts of their change and a box of snicker doodles. Cue the three of them beating him up until he cries.
  • Camp Lazlo: The Squirrel Scouts can be this on their worst days, such as beating the Bean Scouts up in "Dosey Doe," stealing the Bean Scouts' parade float in "Lazlo Loves A Parade," and trying to make Slinkman go through a hazardous obstacle course in "Squirrel Scout Slinkman," though they realize they went too far.
  • Justice League "The Girl Scouts are responsible for the crop circle phenomenon." (Well, The Question believes so; he also believes that the government is using boy bands to control the public, and that aglets have some sinister purpose... Basically, he's got tons of them.)
  • In King of the Hill, "Arrow Girls" engage in cookie racketeering.
  • A Fillmore! episode involved an undercover operation into a corrupt Girl Scout troupe run by an ex-Safety Patrol member.
  • Even supervillains aren't immune: in Kim Possible the doorbell rings at Dr. Drakken's lair. His sidekick Shego says it's "probably one of those Pixie Girls pushing their cookies." "This time, we're ready." replies Drakken, with painful-looking countermeasures in place.
  • Invader Zim:
    • An episode was centered around the Girly Rangers. It was implied that they violently attack anyone who doesn't buy their "Chocolate-Covered Ninja Star Cookies". Dib eventually ends up with half a dozen of the cookies embedded in the back of his abnormally large head (he accidentally tried paying them with a ham, having no idea how it even ended up in his pocket).
    • The episode "Door to Door" involves Zim trying to sell chocolate bars for Skool. After several failed attempts such as telling people, "please buy my candy or my little brother will go insane" he decides to use alien technology to show them the horrible future that will occur if they don't buy the candy.
  • One episode of League of Super Evil had Voltar unintentionally butting heads with the cute-but-pushy Suzie Scouts when they tried to sell him cookies, which makes him a figure of rebellion for the other neighbors while the scout commander tries to take him down. As it turns out, Voltar likes the Suzie Scouts cookies, but was too focus on dealing with a squirrel to realize the scounts were there
  • The Dilbert cartoon had a downplayed example in one episode; a girl scout in The Stinger was clearly putting on the waterworks to yoink Dilbert out of his money, even as he himself pointed out that her parents are wealthy and he doesn't need the overpriced cookies. When he tries to rationalize it as "helping a little girl learn a valuable lesson", Dogbert counters that he had mostly encouraged her to pursue a life of crime.
  • My Gym Partner's a Monkey had a couple of girl scouts who threatened, and later mugged Jake and Adam for trying to sell chocolate-covered bugs on their turf. One of them even had an eyepatch.
  • Among the Scout expies in The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy? Mandy. And The Grim Reaper, but his evil is limited to selling worm-laden cookies (which everyone loved anyway), so subverted.
  • Phineas and Ferb plays with this: Doofenshmirtz feels incredibly awkward around the Fireside Girls and cannot say no to buying their treats, but apparently all they do is stand there and look cute. The girls are actually usually helpful sidekicks to the main characters, Phineas and Ferb (and as absurdly capable as the pair, able to fight alligators and fix time machines).
  • In Home Movies, Melissa is forced to join a girl scout-esque troop to be more feminine. It ends up being played as a cult/pyramid scheme.
  • Johnny Bravo:
    • Not exactly evil, but in one episode, Little Suzy pressured Johnny into buying cookies a'la Sam-I-Am. At the end he ends up buying a trainload of cookies for $2 (there was a special that day).
      Johnny: A million and two cookies... Got milk?
    • In another, much later episode, Johnny watches a Squint Ringo show where the titular action hero fights against an army of robot assassins dressed up as girl scouts. When he busts them and stands next to a smoking pile of scrap metal, he's asked how he knew they were robots. His reaction: "Robots?"
    • The later seasons loved this, making Suzy the regular member of an entire army of girl scouts. In one episode, they wage a water-balloon war on Carl and the geeks, who in turn, recruit Johnny to train them. In another one, Johnny is assigned to watch over the Girl Scouts. He takes them on a trip near a building scheduled for demolition. When he loses track of them and goes into the building to look for them, the scene shifts to the girl scouts chatting with the workers ready to demolish the building. They let Suzy push the button. Kaboom.
  • South Park seems to toy with this a little in "The Succubus":
    Chef's dad: There was a knock on the door. I open it, and there's this cute little girl scout.
    Chef's mom: Oh she was so adorable with her little pigtails and all!
    Chef's dad: And she said to me "how would you like to buy some cookies?" and I said "well, what kind do you have?" and she had cinnamon, graham crunchy seeds, raisin oatmeal, and I said "we'll take a graham crunchy, how much will that be?" and she looked at me and she says "I need about tree-fiddy." Well, it was about that time that I noticed this girl scout was about eight stories tall and was a crustacean from the Paleozoic era!
  • Cindy in The Boondocks episode "The Fundraiser" fits this trope. She acts like a foul-mouthed, ruthless drug dealer, beating rivals savagely and intimidating customers into buying her product... which just happens to be cookies.
  • Laura Limpin AKA The Big Badolescent from Codename: Kids Next Door, who is a member of the Skunky Scouts. In "Operation: QUIET", Numbuh Three slams the door in her face when she shows up selling candy before Numbuh Five remembers the previous incident with her. Fortunately, she "convinces" them to buy her candynote , and it proves useful in keeping Stickybeard occupied after he also shows up.
  • This drives the plot of The Problem Solverz episode "K-999 and Da Little Explorerz". Alfe disguises himself as a girl scout so can get Nina's last badge for flag communication. When she gets the badge, it turns out that the scouts were actually planning an alien invasion, and the Solverz have to stop them.
  • Played with in The Baskervilles. Since the show takes place in Underworld the Theme Park, the "Ghoul Scouts" are supposed to be menacing delinquents; but when April's mom takes over, she tries to run it like a regular Girl Scout troupe, and we get Ghoul Scouts Are Good.
  • Evil Con Carne: When Hector Con Carne tried to form a Legion of Doom, there was a Girl Scout troop among the invitees. Even Skarr is afraid of them, and they gave him a box of butterscotch cookies that exploded in his face.
  • In the Totally Spies! episode "Passion Patties", the Happy Girls developed extremely addictive cookies that cause people to become extremely fat in a matter of hours. However it was actually the person running it that was the actual bad guy, and the scouts simply thought they were selling normal cookies that were just that good.
  • Inverted in Hey Arnold!, where at the end of one episode, a group of girl scouts beats Helga up because earlier she mugged one of their own and stole her clothes so she could get into Arnold's house.
  • Inverted in one episode of Lilo & Stitch: The Series, where Lilo and the girls in her Hula class were selling candy bars for their annual fundraiser. When Lilo is unable to sell her cookies to anyone, she meets a fast-talking experiment named "Slick" whose main function is the ability to sell anything to anyone. Although relentless in his function, Slick uses legitimate methods of persuasion and sweet-talking to lure customers into buying Lilo's products.
  • In Buddy Thunderstruck, a Cootie Scout attempts to aggressively sell cookies to Buddy and Darnell. When Buddy points out he is on a cookie do-not-call list and it is therefore illegal for her to be pushing cookies on him, she brutally beats him up so he can't call the police.
  • In Pickle and Peanut, the duo give away Pickle's cookies to the neighborhood and draw the ire of the Sugar Bee scouts, who then steal Pickle's recipe and are unsuccessful in attempting to replicate it because they were making it with hate instead of love.
  • In the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "My Leg!", SpongeBob and Patrick become bodyguards to Fred to protect his leg. Patrick tries to protect him from a girl scout trying to sell Fred cookies, which results in her getting angry and slamming Patrick back and forth by his own leg before going back to being sweet.
  • Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has brownie-selling girl scouts as a front for the Foot Clan led by the Foot Recruit, with the girls trained in the ruthless use of ninja weaponry. Her plan is to gain the trust of influential figures and leaders through brand recognition and global distribution before using that access to Take Over the World. She's exasperated when she actually does the math on how long that will take and estimates it to pay off in a decade.
  • Gender-inverted during an episode of Space Goofs, where a bunch of Boy Scouts come in and terrorize Gorgious by putting him through an extreme hazing ritual.

 
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Alternative Title(s): Evil Girl Scout

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Laura Limpin

The Big Badolescent shows the best way to convince customers to buy from girl scouts.

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