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alt title(s): Vorpal Bunny
"That's no ordinary rabbit! That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!"
Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes,
They've got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses.
And what's with all the carrots?
What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?
Bunnies, bunnies it must be bunnies!
It's small. It's fluffy. It's adorable. And if you get on its bad side, your death will be painful, but swift.
Related to but distinct from Fluffy The Terrible, the Killer Rabbit is any monster that's far more dangerous than it looks. Maybe it's strong for its size, poisonous on a massive level, has flesh-rending pointy bits that aren't readily apparent, or can just turn into something far more dangerous. Either way, it can make a person wary of picking on small, defenseless animals, much like the Old Master can make a person more eager to respect their elders.
This trope takes its name from the "Dread Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog" in Monty Python And The Holy Grail, which seems to be a completely ordinary bunny rabbit, with the notably unusual ability to leap through the air at high speed and tear out people's throats.
This creature is also known as a " Vorpal Bunny", a name which comes from the monster of that name in the original Wizardry game from 1981, possibly inspired by the Monty Python movie and is named after "The Vorpal Blade", a fictional sword used to decapitate the titular creature in the Lewis Carroll poem "Jabberwocky". The name also spread (via Dungeons And Dragons) to other games such as Quest for Glory and Ultima Online.
There's enough truth behind this that one of the first things many children are taught is "Don't try to play with any animal until you know it's friendly." (Another lesson, learned later in life by many, sometimes too late, is: "Animals can become unfriendly pretty damn fast".)
Specific types of Killer Rabbits include Evil Girl Scouts. Ridiculously Cute Critters that are secretly evil. Civilizations that are more dangerous than they look are Superweapon Surprises. Killer Rabbits are the most notable subversion of What Measure Is A Non Cute, which is pervasive enough for everyone to assume that cute animals are friendly.
This trope is pervasive enough that if any of the Five Races in games seems to be cute and harmless, they would by definition have to be occasional Killer Rabbits to make them viable to play.
Compare Happy Fun Ball, Beware The Nice Ones, and Cute But Cacophonic. Contrast Level Five Onix.
Examples
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Anime
- The Puchuus in Excel Saga. They resemble adorable teddy bears, but plan to take over Earth by any means necessary, even if it means blowing up major population centers.
- They also have a piss-ugly Game Face when struck and/or in pain, which happen to look like Golgo 13's.
- Galaxy Angel had a cute little pink hamster that was in fact a bioweapon that is capable of destroying worlds. It also had a penchant for exhibiting Glowing Eyes Of Doom and blowing things up with energy blasts from its mouth.
- Ryo-Ohki from the Tenchi Muyo and company anime can transform from a cute little bunny-cat thing into a spaceship (or a mecha, depending on which permutation you're watching).
- How about the knife-shooting stuffed animals in Yuzuha's dimension from the second movie? Though that's borderline Nightmare Fuel as well.
- In Paranoia Agent, one should stay VERY wary of the cute, pink, cuddly little plushie Maromi, who is nothing more than a powerful Chess Master.
- Azumanga Daioh deserves mention for Kamineko, a.k.a. the Biting Cat. While he hasn't killed anyone, the facade of a cute, irresistible little gray kitty that poor Sakaki can't resist petting hides unearthly speed, a rotten attitude, and a set of teeth that resemble nothing so much as a bear trap. His life's mission seams to be to continually tease and beat up poor Sakaki. Most cats seem to attack her out of fright, but Kamineko tends to seek her out with malicious intent.
- Kirara from Inuyasha is usually a small and cute kitty, but can transform into a giant, flying, saber-toothed, flaming version of itself at will.
- The first episode of Slayers REVOLUTION introduced Pokota, a small creature entirely suitable as the possible Non Human Sidekick... until he was upgraded (almost immediately) to The Rival status with the town-destroying Dragon Slave spell in its arsenal.
- Japoro from Shamanic Princess, being a ferret-like creature who is also the Battle Butler to Tiara.
- Reinforce Zwei and Agito from Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha. Their adorable, six-inch tall stature belies the fact that they were designed to be weapons and can encase you in ice or launch giant fireballs even without their masters.
- And while we're on it? About half the freakin' cast could probably count. That adorable little girl in the frilly dress who hangs around with the talking ferret is not to be messed with.
- Yachiru from Bleach might be one. While not yet shown in combat, she's a pink-haired six-year-old seeming Cheerful Child who's the vice-captain of a division of Blood Knights, was raised from a baby by the baddest Blood Knight of them all, and can scare grown men with her Battle Aura.
- Rosine from Berserk appears as a cute little fairy with butterfly wings, antennae, a furry collar and a butterfly's proboscis on her forehead. But she's also an Apostle. Her proboscis is a Whip Sword, the dust of her wings is highly poisonous and if you really piss her off, she'll simply turn into a giant moth moth capable of supersonic speed among other things...
- Full Metal Panic's Bonta-Kun, the series mascot which Sousuke Sagara just so happened to convert into Japan's most adorable little harbringer of destruction. And God help you
if you ever have to face more than one...
- Cat Shit One (Known in the US as Apocalypse Meow) replaces people with animals depending on their nationality. Americans are rabbits. Animated Series Trailer here
- Hiyokokko from Tokimeki Memorial ~ Only Love definitely qualifies, though she doesn't actually kill anyone.
- Satchii from Dennou Coil looks like a giant, squishy beanbag chair with a big smiley face that announces its own arrival with a bright, "Me Satchii!" every time. It also fires laser beams that kills kids' digital pets and breaks expensive cybernetic glasses.
- See the ridiculously cute lion and kitty in this picture
from Katekyo Hitman Reborn? Well, they sometimes turn into this and this .
- Mappy from Dragon Half. Looks like a cat-sized ball of mousy fluff, but can spontaneously transform into a huge, bear-like hulk. Though admittedly this editor has yet to see it actually attack — just the threat of bodily harm seems to suffice.
Comic Books
- In the Marvel Universe, a powerful hero is Squirrel Girl, a young woman with the powers of squirrel-agility and control. Thanos, Dr. Doom, MODOK, and Deadpool, among others, have all (somehow) fallen to her.
- To be fair, her defeat of Dr. Doom and Deadpool were the only ones that weren't in joke comics.
- As Monkey Joe would say "it's canon fanboy!"
- The fact that's said by a talking squirrel who breaks the fourth wall sort of deflates it.
- Squirrel Girl is Marvel's Lethal Joke Character.
- Also in a Marvel Vein, during Civil War (specifically Runaways and Young Avengers crossover) when the Young Avengers arrive to find the Runaways lair, they meet 11 year old Molly Hayes outside. Due to a mix up Molly assumes they are bad guys and 'hides under their car'. Now by 'hide under their car' I mean find a better place to lift the car and throw it at them. Yeah, they were not really expecting that.
- Well before, when Wolverine scared her at the front of a cathedral, the comic cuts from him starting to threaten her to shut her up...to him flying across the street outside.
- In both the animated Sonic The Hedgehog and the Archie comic series, Bunnie Rabbot has brute strength coming from being a cyborg, although you probably won't see her killing anything more objectionable than a few (dozen) robots.
- Nextwave features some "Unusual Weapons of Mass Destruction", including the Drop Bears - koala bears trained to kill, which are deployed by throwing them out of an aircraft. "Cuddly widdle bears of DEATH?!"
- This is based on a joke played by Australians on tourists. See the Real Life section below.
- There was a Doctor Who Magazine Fourth Doctor comic, "The Star Beast", where the villain was named "Beep the Meep", a wide-eyed alien ball of fluff who just happened to be an unrepentant omnicidal bloodthirsty intergalactic war criminal. Beep proved memorable enough that he got two followup strips and an audio drama.
- In The DCU, there is a Rival group to the Green Lantern Corps called The Red Lantern Corps, whose rings are powered by rage. One of the members of the Red Lanterns is a cute-looking kitty... and he is just as dangerous as any other member. Don't fall for his "innocent" act...
- Knights Of The Dinner Table. There was the 'squirrel as a fifth level' monster from the strip "The Most Dangerous (Small) Game". Also llamas in B.A.'s campaign have horns and gore people.
Film
Literature
- The Plague Star
, by George R.R. Martin (of A Song Of Ice And Fire fame) featured creatures called "hellkittens." These were much like the Arduin "killkittens," (see below) except with paralytic venom in acidic saliva rather than in hollow claws.
- Another literal killer rabbit is the Miraj (also rendered Al-Mi'raj, or various other variations on the two) of Islamic poetry. A yellow rabbit with a single large horn, it can kill and eat things much larger than itself. It appears in early editions of Dungeons And Dragons — with a third-party company porting it to 3e — where some of them have Psychic Powers. It also appears in Dragon Quest where, due to the translators apparently flipping coins, it's sometimes called the "bunnicorn".
- Margaret Atwood's Oryx And Crake includes wolvogs, creatures that look like friendly dogs, but act like aggressive wolves.
- It's worse than that. Wolvogs look like friendly dogs, and when they are not ruthlessly killing other creatures, they act like friendly dogs. They can go from friendly to homicidal, and back, quickly.
- Bunnicula has a vampire-like rabbit that Chester assumes is a killer rabbit, but there's no evidence that he ever actually does any harm whatsoever besides draining vegetables.
- Norska in the Dragaera series are carnivorous rabbits that eat dragons.
- In Terry Goodkind's Soul Of The Fire, an embodiment of evil either possesses or impersonates a chicken. Strangely, the main characters are capable of realizing this...which means you have two badasses who rule the known freaking world and who can alternately make people her slave or destroy armies with a wave of his hand scared shitless by a goddamn chicken.
- In the Robert Heinlein juvenile Tunnel in the Sky, a group of teenagers on a survival-training exercise are stranded on an Earthlike planet when the wormhole they used to get there malfunctions. One local animal is the "Dopey Joe," a stupid, slow-moving cat-sized reptiloid which appears utterly harmless . . . until the season comes when it, well, swarms.
- EULALIA!
- And that's just the badgers. The other species like hares, mice, otters, squirrels, hedgehogs, and even moles are also quite capable of fucking up the shit of any vermin that threaten them.
- Although a badger isn't exactly in a Killer Rabbit scenario when what it's fighting is a rat.
- Gen. Woundwort. As opposed to Bigwig, who is One Bad Ass Rabbit.
- The bunnydogs from The War Against The Chtorr series by David Gerrold appear to be the only friendly Chtorrans encountered by the humans. Unfortunately they also represent humanity's future in the Chtorran ecology: as passive, contented creatures who are glad to be eaten by higher members of the food chain. There are also meeps. A mother rabbit will reject her own young to nurse meeps, who will then suckle her to death. One character darkly theorises that the excessively cute bunnydogs are meant to be the equivilent for humans.
- Mr. Rabbit from Rainbows End qualifies as "the next bad thing" in the eyes of one expert character. The previous "bad thing" was a plaque worse than bubonic, and the one before that was the nuclear destruction of Chicago. It's never made clear how much rabbit-nature he actually has.
- The political satire The Year of the Angry Rabbit by Russell Braddon. The rabbits are infected with a highly toxic (to humans) strain of myxomatosis. Rather than trying to wipe them out however, the Australian government is more than happy to possess the most feared biological weapon in the world. Was the inspiration behind the classic B Movie Night of the Lepus.
- Wig-wigs. Small, orange fluffballs that also happen to be pack hunters that can and will kill anything they can reach, no matter how big or strong it is. Their only real weakness is their inability to climb.
- Most of the "Furies" from the Star Trek novel series "Invasion" resemble demonic creatures (because they're the beings that spawned the legends). A few, however, are fluffy and cute. They're still vicious killers who want their ancestral home back, though.
Live Action TV
- The Tribbles of Star Trek, if you're a Klingon. They seem other otherwise harmless aside from their noise, but are true 'killer rabbits' due to their destructive effects on ecosystems; anyone Starfleet catches being that dumb will get 20 years in the slammer.
- In one episode of Xena Warrior Princess, sidekick Gabrielle must fend off a vicious attack by what is essentially the Rabbit of Caerbannog.
- The original Basil Brush.
- The Furbie-esque Nubbins in Sanctuary are a variant of this—they're only dangerous in large groups and when being directly attacked, but their extremely high reproductive rate and lack of predators outside their natural environment make them potentially highly destructive to the ecosystem. Unfortunately, they're a Hive Mind far brighter than they seem, and are more than willing to sacrifice individual lives to escape and spread.
Music
- Synth-Rock band The Birthday Massacre seem quite fond of this trope, as a cartoonish, silhouetted killer rabbit is featured prominently as the band's main logo
Radio
- In the the radio show Old Harrys Game, Satan finds the most evil being in the world is a Dolphin. Called Chuckles.
- In one episode of A Prairie Home Companion, cowboys Dusty and Lefty come across "The Free-Range Chicken", which they then engage, and nearly lose to, in a gunfight.
Tabletop Games
- The original Arduin Grimoire
, a very early third-party supplement for Dungeons And Dragons, included among its bestiary a creature called the "killkitten". Resembling normal kittens, these beasts were actually cunning pack predators whose hollow claws could inject a paralytic poison. Their normal procedure was to set one of their number as bait to attract a potential victim by acting like an injured kitten, while the remainder of the pack lurked, hidden, nearby. When the unsuspecting schmuck picked the "kitten" up, it would paralyze him with its venom, after which the rest of the pack would swarm and eat him.
- Somewhat related, in the 3rd edition of Dungeons And Dragons, due to quirks in the system, a common house cat poses a serious threat to the average first level NPC and some of the physically weaker first level player characters. Given the large numbers of claws and teeth possessed by the common house cat, they would pose a serious threat to the average RealLife NPC and player characters.
- Your standard adult domestic housecat in 3.5E Dn D is also much more dangerous than one would think-between their bite and claw attacks, cats are entirely capable of fighting and killing entry-level characters.
- Deadlands: The Weird West features jackalopes, which are evil and carnivorous versions of the infamous "rabbits with antlers" from Wild West folklore. They kill their prey by cursing them with bad luck, then stalking them until they suffer a fatal accident.
- GURPS IOU includes lethal versions of rats and squirrels.
- The Unglued expansion set from Magic The Gathering gave us the Infernal Spawn of Evil, a powerful beast from the darkest pits of hell. This is what it looks like
. Not to be outdone, the Unhinged set introduced its even stronger child, the demon known only as the Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil .
- Then there's that other Unhinged set card, When Fluffy Bunnies Attack
.
- The real "killer rabbit" of the Magic world is the ''squirrel'. Some squirrel-themed cards, such as "Deranged Hermit" and "Squirrel Nest" have seen extensive Tournament Play.
- Also, Jackalope Herd
. A bunch of bunnies with antlers, amazing combat stats for their mana cost, and a drawback (returning to your hand when you play another spell) that can be turned into an advantage fairly easily.
- This troper once participated in a game of Dungeons And Dragons in which a party of first-level characters was slaughtered by rabbits. Said lapines had +4 attack/damage bonuses against first-level PCs but were otherwise perfectly normal.
- There's a long-standing semi-joke that an ordinary housecat can destroy a first-level wizard in Dungeons And Dragons. This thread
over at the Order Of The Stick forums didn't make it past the first page before being hijacked by Snuggles the Death Kitty. (Later, Snuggles ascended to godhood).
- The 3.5E Monster Manual IV introduced the Skiurid-an evil squirrel from the Plane of Shadow, and generally regarded as one of the worst monsters Dn D ever introduced. Then an infamous column on the Wizards Of The Coast Dn D section came along, specifically looking for ways to make Skiurids lethal. The troper can attest that the squirrels are quite capable of bringing even a mid-level party of well-equipped adventurers to their knees.
- Quite a few fey arguably qualify-the well known nymph, for example, has one ability you don't hear about too often: if you happen to catch a sight of the nymph naked, she can force you to make a fortitude save or die on the spot. Other kinds of fey are more "harmlessly cute" than the nymph, but tend to have a wide range of powerful magical abilities.
- Very few fey are harmless. In fact plenty of them will to horrible things to you given the chance.
- Warhammer 40000, a setting known for a habit of Everything Trying To Kill You cropping up everywhere, brings us the Catachan Barking Toad: a large, sad-looking amphibian sometimes dubbed the "Ronery Toad". If attacked, hurt or even surprised, it explodes into a cloud of obscenely virulent toxins, killing absolutely everything for miles around and poisoning the earth so that nothing will ever grow there again.
- Which raises the question of how Catachan manages to be a jungle planet when it's stuffed to the gills with toads that render acres of land into blasted wasteland if you so much as give them a particularly mean look.
- Plenty of the weapons in the (coincidentally-named) Killer Bunnies And The Quest For The Magic Carrot game fall under this. Included:
- Quite Irascible Diffractable Cheese Balls
- (Bitter-Sweet) Chocolate Covered Anti-Matter Raisins
- Europan Robotic Titanium Termites
Video Games
Web Comics
- Bun-bun from Sluggy Freelance, whom this author is convinced is portrayed by the same bunny with a dye job and his ears let down. He once skeletonized a shark that had the misfortune of attacking him, and went on a holiday-massacring rampage as part of his vendetta against Santa Claus.
- Also in Sluggy Freelance there's "The Evil", 18 (6 + 6 + 6) "demon kittens" that go on a killing spree if they have not had milk in the last 24 hours. Of course, these kittens are literally the spawn of Satan. They show up in two story arcs found here
and here .
- Keeping on the killer rabbit theme, Coney from Kevin And Kell, the child of a wolf and a fearless rabbit, Coney quickly became the top predator in her family before the age of 1, capable of (for example) eating a turtle right out of its shell while still crawling, and not even breaking stride recently, she saved her grandmother from a cat at least twice the size of her dad, and had reduced it to a pile of bones by the time she turned around to see what happened.
- Her dad, Kevin, might count as well. He's three times the size of any other rabbit we've seen in the strip (including his parents and sister) and mostly muscle. (In fact, he used to have a side job as a masked wrestler).
- The superhero Furry Comic Supermegatopia features a number of characters who are more dangerous than they appear. The mute and docile-seeming Zippy the Sloth is able to defeat hulking supervillain Brute Force with one punch
◊, while Anti Hero Hell Kitty of the Offenders is a bratty little girl... with razor-sharp claws, super-healing, and a hair-trigger temper.
- Subverted in an El Goonish Shive strip with Jeremy, who attacks Sensei Greg... Only to run facefirst into a ki forcefield.
Ow. Of course, it was earlier stated that Jeremy did have some punch.
- In Sparkling Generation Valkyrie Yuuki, the Norse trickster god Loki walks the earth in the body of a stuffed animal.
- 8-Bit Theatre featured the diminutive but dreaded camel spider (based on a real-life arachnid, whose threat is greatly exaggerated), which "viciously attacks anything it perceives as a threat, which is anything it can perceive."
- Arguably, the entirety of Bunny
is based off this trope, particularly Orange Bunny.
- Slim the Jackalope from NeverNever
has sixguns. Very tiny sixguns. And he bites. Extremely hard.
- Schlock Mercenary features a species of "cute and cuddly koalazoids" known as the Tausennigan Ob'Enn. The Ob'Enn, despite their small size and disarming appearance, are referred to as the "psycho bears" by every other species in the galaxy, as they have one of the most powerful and advanced interstellar militaries in the galaxy, and are led by a xenocidal doctrine that calls for the destruction of every other species in the galaxy.
- Lepus, the awakened Fiendish rabbit from Dungeon Crawl, inc.
As the page's title suggests, he was originally a homage to the original Killer Rabbit (before he became a full-fledged character).
- Deadly venomous chipmunks
in Loserz!
- In Adventurers!, the Devilrabbit
is mistaken for the mostly harmless Cuterabbit.
- Reynardine, in Gunnerkrigg Court. He's apparently a cute little stuffed toy. He's actually a fearsome possessor demon that kills the body of whoever he takes over. He just happens to be stuck in Antimony's toy. For now. An illustrative example
.
- On the website Muse Blog, run far, far away if you see a Hot Pink Bunny. They are out to rule the world, can turn people into zombies, and can survive atomic blasts. This may or may not be where their powers come from.
- The Racconans, in Tales Of The Questor. They're cute, fuzzy two foot tall talking raccoons... who turn into lightning-flinging shredding whirling balls of death when backed into a corner. A typical saying in the Questorverse is "there's no such thing as an unarmed Racconan." Alternatively, the Redcaps, who bear a marked resemblance to the little dancing mushrooms from Fantasia, till the needle-sharp claws and fangs come out and they leap into your face. Those bright red "mushroom caps" they wear are actually BLOOD SACS, and they've been known to drain an ox dry of blood in moments....
- The Video Games section paid plenty of attention to Gaia Online's MMO aspect, but Grunny from the webcomic has yet to be mentioned. It is a predatory green rabbit that also carries the G-Virus and turns its victims into zombies.
- Char Cole gives us Maoh
the Magnificent . Not all Mew have pleasant temperments...
- Dolphins in The Adventures Of Doctor Mc Ninja. You could punch out and kill all the gorillas, dinosaurs, giant lumberjacks, ninja, vampires, and ghosts you want, but if you treasure your continued existance, leave the dolphins
alone.
Western Animation
Real Life
- Koalas
. It's not hard to piss them off, especially if you interrupt one of their 19 hours of sleep, and they have huge teeth and claws that can do some real damage when you rile them up. Please stay away from them.
- In Australian mythology there's dropbears which are the Evil Twin versions of the koala.
- Wombats
can do a fair amount of damage too - one naturalist ended up with a 2cm deep bite in his leg. Through a gumboot, trousers, and thick socks. And if they get some speed up (40km/hr at maximum, despite being generally slow) they can knock grown men over. This being Australia, their main defence against predators is to hide in a hole and use their cartilage-heavy, armour-plated arse to keep themselves from serious harm.
- Actual rabbits. They aren't ferocious at all, but they do have a nasty tendency to bite unwary fingertips clean off. Also, don't try to pick up a rabbit unless you know what you're doing, their back feet are powerful and their nails are better described as claws. Pick one up with the pointy bits toward you? Expect it to flail around and for you to bleed.
- Hard to believe, but rabbits once defeated Napoleon. He made a hunting party for himself and his fellow generals. The gamekeeper bought over 1000 rabbits, which, alas, were tame - and hungry. When they were released they didn't scatter from shooting - rather they all ran towards Napoleon at 55 km/h. They overran the shooting party and forced Napoleon to flee.
- The platypus. "Awww, lookit the cute little mixed-up thing! It's so adorable, it's like a little beaver-duck, let me pet you little beaver-duck and OH MY GOD POISON STINGER! MAKE THE HURTING STOP!!!"
- Two Words, Cone Snail.
- As in the Cracked article below: "Mother Nature's way of saying "I made this thing out of spare parts, and it can STILL horribly maim you." Pretty typical for Australia.
- The swamp rabbit
trying to board ex US-President Jimmy Carter's fishing boat in 1979. It even was nicknamed "Killer rabbit" by the media.
- The humor site Cracked
has an article called "The 6 Cutest Animals That Can Still Destroy You" . Self Explanatory.
- The frickin' Swan, not only because it's fiercely territorial, but you can't even explain that you got bit by a f#$^ing Swan. Not to mention their wingbeats are powerful enough to break bones...
- "A swan can break a man's arm, you know" became a running gag in one of the Adrian Mole books.
- Their bills _look_ soft, but they're not. They're not.
- All birds, really. Getting bit by any bird hurts like swear words. And if it's close enough to bite you, there's a good chance it will poop on you too.
- This Pelican
.
- You wouldn't think a chicken would have talons, but having one placed on your head at age five will leave you with a different impression of the hateful little things.
- There's a reason the ancient Romans considered roosters to be warrior animals...
- This rabbit.
- This Troper's sister had a very vicious pigmy rabbit that attacked and killed a 2 ft long snake!
- Due to causing of vehicular accidents, the deadliest animal in the USA is the deer. Repeat after me.
- While emus don't fall under the generally accepted category of "cute", they are essentially human sized birds with fluffy feathers and big, expressive eyes. They can also kick you to death in a matter of seconds. Most of those tall, long-legged, flightless birds aren't that harmless. Ostriches are reputed to be able to disembowel a lion.
- And then there's the Cassowary, which is essentially a Velociraptor with a beak, insanely strong legs with claws and an attitude to match. Anyone still wondering where the dinosaurs went?
- This is the reason why this troper always laughs whenever people say that feathered dinosaurs are Nightmare Retardant.
- Not physically dangerous but the subjects of the website Disapproving Rabbits
can cause a severe feeling of inferiority. Especially this one .
- Wolves. They look like some breeds of dogs, e.g., German shepherds or Siberian huskies; many breeds of dogs are larger and/or more dangerous-looking. But wolves are not dogs. Dogs are wolves that have been selectively bred for thousands of years to be safe and tractable companions to humans. Wolves have been naturally selected to survive in the wild as apex predators. They are strong and they are fierce. Genetics matters. Even a wolf raised by humans from birth can prove rather . . . unpredictable. Never have anything to do with a wolf you might see in the wild; don't try to get it to fetch a stick, and definitely don't try to pet it. Never go near even a "domesticated" wolf unless its owner is very, very clear it's OK, and even then, with extreme caution.
- Cute or not, most people do think of wolves as being dangerous. Considering how many have been killed or hopitalized by domesticated dogs, it's safe to say that Fido is more of a Killer Rabbit than the Big Bad(ass) Wolf.
- For their SIZE, wolves are not that dangerous, rarely attacking humans unless in packs. Dog have much less respect for humans and are much more dangerous if trained on aggression. A bulldog can kill a wolf twise its mass.
- For that matter (see Cracked above), Dingos. They're essentially the Australian equivalent of wolves, in the outback.
- The blue-ringed octopus. Not exactly cute, but it definitely wouldn't look very threatening, despite being one of the most poisonous sea creatures known to man. As comedian Billy Connolly says "It wouldn't fit in the palm of your hand, but if this thing's in a bad mood you don't make it to the *** phone!"
- Gorillas are quite peaceful and gentle creatures, but cross them and they'll rip your arms off. Seriously. They can do that. All that tree-climbing and knuckle-walking gives them unmatched upper-body strength.
- Personal testimony: this troper was once at a zoo's gorilla exhibit, which featured a large Plexiglases viewing window. Some human cretins were tapping on the glass, and one of the gorillas finally wandered over and idly punched the window. The glass held, but the impact sounded like a shotgun blast.
- Also in the ape category, mandrills are silly-looking rainbow-faced apes with big red bums and dewy eyes... as well as huge teeth able to tear through your flesh like pizza dough.
- Chimpanzees, the adorably human like ape often cast in popular culture as inconcequencial childlike roles, can also be quite dangerous when provoked, even when domesticated. A recent article featured a woman who was attacked by a 14 year old domesticated chimpanzee who she had known personally who could open doors, dress himself, and even eat at the dinner table..awww. By the time the chimp was subdued, he had literally torn off her face and was eating her.
- In fact, pretty every ape species shouldn't be pissed off. Keep a close eye on monkeys too.
- It may not be wise to piss off one of those goofy-looking hairless apes you find wandering all over the place, while we're on the subject. They're a very short tempered race and of all the mean animals out there they're in charge. They're no nearly as strong as other members of Order Primates, but they're smarter, and unpredictable as hell, especially when in large groups. An apex social preditor, whose natural weapon is the club. Any wonder that domestic dispute calls make cops the most nervous?
- Ferrets, minks, weasels, martens, sables and all mustelids in general (which includes the wolverine) are unbelievably strong for their size. They are not afraid to fight back fiercely when threatened by greater predators, despite their cute, fluffy appearance and alleged cowardice, the latter being a completely false Urban Legend. Don't believe me? Watch This...
- The Cassowary
◊- sure, they look like something out of a Jurassic Park Marti Gras parade, but they hold the world record for "Most Dangerous Bird". Normally docile, but if they're threatened or cornered they will disembowel you with a single kick of their huge, taloned feet.
- Given their relation to emus and ostriches, this shouldn't come as a surprise.
- Their deadliness is somewhat overrated, though, given that only one human death has been attributed to them, and that was a lucky shot to the neck on a really dumb teenager.
- The Werebears toys were seemingly adorable teddy bears with reversible heads and paws that would reveal their "nasty" face when turned inside out.
- Black bears. Arguably the cutest of the bears with their docile, innocent look and sleepy-looking eyes. The Teddy bear was actually based on this bear species. But they are incredibly dangerous and can seriously mess you up if you provoke them. And playing dead doesn't work on them, because if you do they will start to eat you.
- This is because black bears are essentially very large herbivores that evolved to eat a little meat, but would run away from larger predators... all of which happened to go extinct during the last ice age. Since the meat their ancestors generally ate was left behind by other predators, they've learned to eat the dead—or that which is playing dead. On the other hand, those herbivore instincts mean that they can be scared off by anything that makes confident aggressive moves.
- But just to show you that nature is evil, brown bears (which look similar to the untrained eye) did evolve as apex predators and should be treated in the exact opposite fashion. Helpful hint—if you're about to go to an area where both bears are possible to meet, learn how to tell them apart.
- You might also want to carry a gun. And an extra magazine or two. Or three. Thousand.
- This troper personally thinks that polar bears are the cutest bears by far, and their ability to mess people up kinda goes without saying. But... so... cute.
- The panda. Another contender for "cutest bear" (it makes up for not being a bear by being extra cute), a truly ridiculous amount of time, effort and money has gone into saving these fat and lazy animals. Some people might think pandas are vegetarians because they only eat bamboo. They only eat bamboo because it's one of the only things that can't outrun them, being plants. Give an adult 200 pound panda a chance, and it will kill and eat small animals, possibly including children. Fortunately, no one has ever been stupid enough to allow a small child near a hungry panda (and if someone was, this Troper doesn't want to hear about it). Even a lazy panda can be dangerous if you let it. Though this troper loved Kung Fu Panda and Po, he hates real pandas.
- Fun fact: Pandas actually have a carnivore digestive system. Its round face is the result of powerful jaw muscles, which attach from the top of the head to the jaw.
- This just in: Pandas are a species of bear, according to genetic analysis.
- Recently, an adult human jumped a fence into a panda cage at a zoo and attempted to hug the creature. He was hospitalized, but survived.
- The orca. Despite its cute panda like appearance and entertaining performances at marine parks, the orca lives up to its nickname "killer whale". Basically take a shark, give it a warm blooded body and an intelligent mammmalian brain and a good bit of muscle and you've got an orca. Add to that the orcas' tendency to hunt in packs and they basically take the title of apex predator of the ocean. Though this troper hated Free Willy given what happened to the whale in Real Life, he loves real orcas...but stays clear of them all the same.
- Two things to think about—first, "killer whale" is a corruption of "whale killer". Yes, this thing takes down the biggest things
since the dinosaurs ever. Second, it's one vowel away from an almost universally evil fantasy race.
- Better than that, its species name (orcinus) is Latin for "FROM HELL". Everything in the universe is trying to tell you this things will kill you.
- Interestingly, there have been no documented instances of Orca attacking humans in the water, ever.
- That's because we're tiny, bony, and have freaky limbs all over the place, instead of proper fins. We are extremely far cry from these creatures' ideal prey. You still may want to think twice whether to stick your hand in one's mouth.
- ...Or, to quote Gaspode, "what you just said is basically that no humans in the water ever returned to tell the tale".
- Two things: first, Orcas are technically dolphins. Dolphins on steroids, but dolphins none the less. Second, Stephan Pastis (creator of Pearls Before Swine) once introduced a killer whale character into the strip. His prey, Johnathan Seal (a seal) was watching a wildlife program on television, where the killer whale on screen partially beached itself so it could reach and chow down on a seal that was basking in the sunlight. Pastis' comment to this strip was "Makes you think twice about volunteering to be kissed by Shamu the next time you're at Sea World."
- At least they're smart enough to cooperate with humans.
- This troper believes that every "cute" animal on Earth is a potential Killer Rabbit, due to all animals possessing a 'fight or flight' response. Wild animals are hardwired to consider nearly anything they can't eat a threat (like us). If we deny them the option of 'flight' by trying to cuddle them too much, they can and will 'fight' with everything at their disposal. Even a little mouse can cause significant damage if you let it with its sharp teeth, possibly infecting you with disease in the process.
- A recent article in the London newspaper Metro involved a viper that was rescued from a house in China. The rescuers tried to feed it a live mouse and the mouse killed it after a half-hour struggle. They could only theorise it had run out of venom during the capture.
- This Troper's friend has a Cockatoo Attack Squad. They not only have sharp pointy bits, but they have SONIC WEAPONRY. THEY WILL FIND YOU. AND THEY WILL END YOU.
- Hamsters. "Aww itsa widdle tribble lookalike fluffyball! C'mere little fluffyball and OWJESUSBLEEDINGFINGER!!" After five years of living with the adorable little buggers, this troper has learned how to deal with them. Do yourselves a favor and don't pick up that adorable little fluffyball unless you're sure you know what you're doing.
- This editor is particularly wary of the little beasts after one of them pissed on him while he was cuddling it. Ungrateful bastard.
- Dwarf hamsters (possibly excluding the usually-docile Roborovski breed) are the spawn of Satan. This troper used to work at a pet store and dreaded handling them. Fast, nasty, and quick to bite.
- Arguably, some human beings can fit into this category (humans technically count as animals). See, for instance, Cute Bruiser.
- There are arguably a few charming children out there who are evil enough, vile enough, and sugary enough to drive any sane person to suicide. This troper's first grade cousin certainly qualifies for all three categories.
- What harm could a bunch of science geeks
possibly do? So Yeah, don't underestimate people who plumb the secrets of the universe for a living.
- Raccoons, anyone? They look like fuzzy little puppy-cat things with domino masks, but their teeth and claws can kill pets and send people to the emergency room. To top it off, they're the biggest carrier of rabies in North America.
- Dachshunds, aka wiener dogs. They look adorable. They're also bred to go into badger holes and eat the badger, making them cute Killer Rabbit Killers.
- Popular depictions in media notwithstanding, dolphins can be very dangerous. They use those "cute" pointy faces of theirs like billy clubs to beat up helpless porpoises, baby dolphins, and the occasional human to death. And that's when they're not trying to rape them.
- Not only that, but dolphins have been found to kill baby dolphins of other species. For no reason.
- Also, they can kill sharks.
- Oh if you're woundering, not this isn't something males do (like male Loins) females will kill there own young for "Shits and giggles"
- That's supposed to be spelt "wondering", but that way is much funnier.
- The moral of this trope? Don't Let Things Bite You.
- Given the sheer number of real life examples in this trope, it's safe to say that Earth is a killer rabbit planet - there's always something down here more than capable of making you wish you never came down from space.
- Well, since a big part of nature is "kill or be killed", it's no surprise.
- Also cats. This troper's cat had his front claws removed and he still puts lots of scratches on me.
- Not just animals, but a few plants out there are pretty nasty:
- Mistletoe and holly- both lovely plants generally associated with holiday romance as well as internal bleeding, cramps, vomiting and diarrhea if eaten. Fun fact: Mistletoe is parasitic.
- The seeds of several edible plants, such as apples, cherries, apricots, peaches and plums all contain cyanide-based poisons.
- Doesn't it take about sixteen million apple seeds to make a lethal dose, though?
- Pineapples are delicious, nutritious, and covered with razor-sharp spikes. Yum yum.
- Brazil nuts, coconuts and durians can cause severe injuries or death if they fall on you...and they can fall on you with no warning.
- And House taught us that eating too many brazil nuts will mess you up.
- There are some tree frogs, small and rather beatiful. And whether they are alive or dead, merely touching them with one's bare skin is a bad idea. With a tip of blowgun dart, on the other hand...
- Hippos. This troper once went to a zoo with a hippo tank (Calgary, Alberta) and happened to be in the room when the zookeeper came out and did his talk on them. Two minutes about the tank, two minutes about how they get fed and poop, twenty minutes on how they will kill you. Hippos are highly territorial, aggressive creatures that can indeed run on land, have de-facto armor exceeding that of elephants, and kill more humans than any non-domesticated species of vertebrate out there per year. Steve Irwin 's moment of greatest fear during his career, he once said in an interview, was simply crossing a river at dusk ... in an area known to have hippos.
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