Cassandra Truth: Naomi knows Light is Kira, is stalking her, and pretty much everything that's going on plot-wise but since she's acquired a reputation for being neurotic no one will believe her.
Matsuda (throwing himself against a door, repeatedly): You know… Duck… I don't think this is working…
Duck: I'm sure you'll get it eventually. The trick is to keep trying and to believe in yourself, then any task can be accomplished. Or so public educational television tells me.
Dressing as the Enemy: When the police are banging down the door Matt and Duck attempt to disguise Mello. Matt resorts to drugging Mello in order to make him lose the stripper costume, cuts his hair and forces him into a suit and tie. Naomi comments in her Internal Monologue that it makes him look like Misa's little brother that likes dressing up like Light.
Naomi: I'm very sorry to everyone. My companions don't try to be idiots it just kind of happens. Sayu and I were put through very traumatic experiences; it's just for me, well… I deal with this shit all the time so it doesn't really bother me. For a normal person I'm sure what we went through would have left them shell shocked with only the ability to remain curled in a corner rocking themselves back and forth. So I'm going to apologize on the behalf of everyone here except for Takada who really did try her best, it's not her fault that he's dumb,she's traumatized,I don't have problems,he's an asshole, and he's the devil.
Light: Mr. Raye Penber is very annoying and doesn't know when to LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE. I realize it is his job to follow me around like a lost puppy but could he at least put a small amount of effort into not being so bloody noticeable? It's almost embarrassing having to look behind me every day and see him there standing oh so inconspicuously behind me with that newspaper shielding his pasty face. Yes, I can see him behind that newspaper the eyes in my face indicate that I am not blind. Your fiancé should note this fact next time he comes tapping along behind me, which should be any moment now I might add. Here are a few tips I wish to convey to your lover boy, please feel free to tell him for me as I think it's counterproductive for me to tell him. Besides it would just point out how inept he truly is: 1) when following someone try not to walk so loudly and when they stop walking you stop walking 2) when following someone do not literally follow them at every single moment of the day this includes lurking outside their room in the dead of night 3) do not wear the same clothes every day especially when on a high school campus not only are you noticeable you look completely ridiculous 4) when on a bus that is being high-jacked by a man with a gun do not show your victim your ID with your real name, if you have to use a pseudonym it's not unheard of 5) everyone can see you whispering in the back of the bus your voice is louder than you think 6) don't tell your victim what day your shift ends; you never know when they might have been paying attention. 7) when wearing the same clothes every day do not wear a blue trench coat, you want to be mistaken for a drug dealer every time you take a stroll? 8) when glaring at your victim and their date try not to look so completely bored, if you are going for the 'pedophilic-stalker' look be sure to complete it otherwise you look stupid 9) walk at a distance far enough away that your victim can't instantly grasp the fact that he is being stalked 10) try to look like you're doing something besides following your victim people might start to notice. I could go on but I think this should suffice, once again I leave with the statement THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU AND YOUR PATHETIC USELESS BEAU WHO CAN'T EVEN STALK HIS VICTIMS PROPERLY!!! Thank you for your time.
Light's porn.
Mello trying to be intimidating and get Naomi to take him seriously.
Even Evil Has Standards: Takeshi the heroin dealer gives Light a few free pointers on how to avoid getting drugged and raped by L.
Takeshi (to Light): Have you been watching what you drink, he's probably spiked everything you touch.
Freudian Excuse: "The Beyond Birthday case made so much more sense now, BB wasn't a megalomaniac he was L's spurned and neglected lover. Clearly the jam was just the aftershock of being forced into sex with someone that looked vaguely like a crack head. And she had prevented him from burning himself alive, if she had to have sex with L she might have tried to burn herself alive too. Naomi noted to herself that perhaps it was a good time to go to L.A.'s prison and apologize to that poor madman."
Naomi: Wow that is the most boring pornography I have ever seen. This is porn for you?
In the Blood: Light declares that Misora's four year old son is EVIL!
Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain: Naomi sees that Mello still believes he's menacing after getting his ass handed to him and she still thinks it's just sad.
Irritation Is the Sincerest Form of Flattery: "The team looked at L who looked about ready to shoot himself at the fact that his successor had stolen his entire get-up. At least Mello had the decency to become a transvestite mafia lord for the sake of originality, Near was just a sad little chip off the old block."
Mike Nelson, Destroyer of Worlds: If anyone is going to destroy the world it's going to be Matsuda. Later Light tells L and Naomi that Kira told him that he has "misplaced" a Death Note.
Naomi: Are you saying that we lost the notebook and that no one noticed? How could you lose something like that? That's like Roosevelt losing the atom bomb, woops it got stolen, guess we'll have to write that one off.
Morality Chain: Naomi realizes, to her horror, that she is Light's Morality Chain and so keeps hanging out with him even though he is a Serial Killer, her creepy stalker, and a jerk because he could be so much worse.
Light refers to Raye Penber as "the Wallpaper" and Naomi's son as "The Curtain."
Duck refers to L as "Uncle Pedophilia and Light as "Ted Bundy". Duck also renames Wammy's House as "Wammy's Dog Fighting Arena for Boys" and gives Mello and Matt new aliases- Mello is "F" (either for "Frodo" or "Failure" his choice) and Matt is "D" (either for "Dracula" or "Doormat" again, his choice).
No Social Skills: L, of course. "L had an annoying habit of speaking very loudly on his cellphone as if his conversation was far more important than anything anyone else could be doing. That or Watari had managed to teach L no social etiquette at all, maybe he hadn't bothered. L could have been a lost cause from the get go."
Only Sane Man: Naomi. She is very moved when Mello (of all people) realizes how very stupid it all is too.
Open Says Me: averted when Matsuda repeatedly throws his shoulder against a door and it fails to open played straight when Light shoots the lock off and kicks the door down.
Naomi: [Most people] believe that man is essentially good and ride upon that faith throughout life.
Duck: That's a silly thing to believe. If I believed in the essential goodness of man I'd be Kira too and we certainly don't need two of those.
Naomi: Duck, Kira is a serial killer who believes he kills the irredeemable scum of the earth. I don't think he should be your role model of men who have faith in humanity.
Duck: He wouldn't bother if he thought there was no chance of redemption, he believes that most people have that spark of goodness in their hearts and only some are the scum of the earth. If he thought that all men were worthless he'd either do nothing or he'd just kill everyone.
L If you're finally going to admit that you're Kira I'll have you know that so far your various futures entail your being my sex slave, the government's sex slave, or locked up in some mental institution. Of the three I prefer your being my sex slave but the decision is yours. Or Naomi-chan could shoot youbehind the chemical shed, if that's preferable.
L So really the only options that we have left after we prove that Light is Kira are for him to be my personal sex slave or to be shot behind the chemical shed. Prove to ourselves at least, I don't think we'll ever convince Soichiro or Matsuda even with the thirteen day rule. So Light since this is your immediate future which would you prefer, death or sex slave?
Scylla and Charybdis: Naomi relates how it SUCKS being stuck between L and Kira's warring egos:
Naomi: You do realize that if L or Kira were to find out they would kill you... If Light finds out he'll probably kill you. However he might keep you around as a pawn and use you to reach his ultimate goal of creating a cult civilization in which he's god. That means that if you don't find yourself drowning in a swimming pool you'll find yourself brainwashed and tortured and then thinking nothing at all... If L finds you that's a whole different story. L won't kill you but he will tie you to a chair and leave you there to rot for fifty days and then pretend to execute you only to leave you alive so that the government can perform nasty experiments on you. He probably won't give you a trial but instead will leave you in a mental institution or have you killed off by thugs. Then he'll steal your name and use it as yet another detective name and that will be the end of that.
For some reason Naomi found herself thinking of The Godfather, and the horse's head tossed into a bed. Except the horse's head was Matt's and it was Mello's leopard printed waterbed that was soaked in blood.
Matsuda: Well, Inamo it turns out had an affair with Y's evil twin A and that A is now back in town but Y doesn't want Hikaru to know because he's afraid that A will seduce Y because they're identical and it's really hard to tell them apart.
Light: And let me guess Hikaru is going to sleep with both of them because he's not only gay but he's also a whore.
Matsuda: Um, well, I don't know if I'd use that term but what if he really can't tell the difference and then… Wow Light, you have really good ideas! You should help me write sometime!
Light: You know, this is excellent proof that I'm not Kira. Ryuzaki may be miserable and death-seeking but if I had been Kira then surely Matsuda would be dead by now.
"Light had been extremely careful and it would have been ridiculous to jump to the conclusion that he killed via notebook rather than magic bath towel. For months L had been convinced that Light had killed via bath towel, or magic shower soap, or just showers."
Sunglasses at Night: Matt wears goggles indoors, in the dark. Naomi "supposed that since it was goggles it hadn't offended her as immediately as sunglasses would have but he still looked like a tool."
Take That, Audience!: or Take That Fandom. The Meta joke of Matsuda's soap opera, staring Hikaru Imagay the gay prostitute.
The Friend Nobody Likes: Misa and L are this for the taskforce. L feels this way about Near and Mello and makes Light talk to Near because he doesn't want to talk to him or even let him know he's still alive.
Light's parents attempt to make him seek help from a therapist when his mental issues begin to become obvious after blatantly stalking an older woman and her fiance, crashing at their place, and refusing to leave. Light's parents concede that their son MIGHT just have a problem and should probably get help. Naomi notes that it's a coupleof yearstoo late. Nor is there any therapy available for all the times L drugged and had his way with Light. But L did give him a gun...
They Would Cut You Up: L points out that even if he arrested Light as Kira the world governments wouldn't execute him right away. They'd want to study him first to see what effects long-term usage of the notebook has on a human body...
Your Cheating Heart: Misa is Light's "girlfriend" but Naomi is the only one that Light has an active interest in (despite not having a sex-drive). Naomi slept with Light once and he knocked her up. Naomi gets married to Raye while Light continues to stalk her, and meanwhile L continues to stalk Light.
Younger than They Look / Older than They Look: Naomi notes that when Light is Kira he carries himself like an old man and when he has relinquished his memories he suddenly looks and acts as if he's five.
by The Carnivorous Muffin
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