This is where you put the penises. I mean penises. Examples:
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The Nike Bear "Butte Running camp" commercial that rides on the Naked People Are Funny trope. The Nike salesgirl is a tiny bit distracted by the naturist runners while making her pitch.
Salesgirl: So the Nike Free 5.0 is incredibly lightweight, as you can see, and very flexible; it's specifically designed to help your foot move more naked-NATURAL. Naturally. Mm hmm.
Anime and Manga
Kagami from Lucky Star slips one of these in the OVA, where Kagami has a (seemingly-drug-induced-it's-so-weird) dream involving a Cinderella story with wrestling, and to return stuff to normal, she must yell an incantation and (waking up), doing so, says "Let's join our bodies". Tsukasa's reaction is priceless.
Hiyori Tamura is also prone to let things slip. She once referred to dodgeball positions as "seme" and "uke" (when the positions are known as "seme" and "mamori").
Defense Devil. The protagonist's client, a high school girl named Nami, has just came out of a small pond she fell into and is berating herself for her inability to remember the circumstances of her death. He gives a rousing speech that unintentionally ends with the line "The next time you make that face, I'll spank that cute wet butt of yours".
He actually does this quite often,usually not realising what he's said until after the fact.
In Naruto, when Sakura was confessing to Naruto she kept on saying "Sasuke-kun". She's a badliar.
Change 123: After Motoko becomes willing to somehow return Kosukegawa's feelings for her, Kosukegawa starts to have fantasies of how their relationship will develop in the following couple of months. These musings culminate with his imaginations of having sex with her and then, immediately after that, when he wants to ask Motoko where should they go ("Doko e ikō ka na?"), he blurts: "Where should we do it?" ("Doko de shiyō ka na?")
Takagi: I don't think "crash and burn" was the right phrase there...
Miura: Oops, you're right, Freudian slip.
Early episodes of Pokémon has signs of shipping between Ash and Misty. In one episode involving Brock, who has a tendency to hit on every pretty girl he meets, he gets a dose of his own medicine when a girl he encounters falls head over heels for him, even talking about them getting married. As Ash and Misty talk about the idea of their friend getting married, Misty makes a slip and says to Ash "You and I will be married someday, too". Ash momentarily nods in agreement with her....until he realizes what she just said and turns to her with a shocked look while Misty's eyes widen with realization at her slip up.
And yet it never happens...except in fanfics.
Kanna from Koe de Oshigoto! has rather embarrassing slips on two occasions. First, she called someone she had a crush on "master" after spending a little too long in a maid cafe. The other time was while she was singing at a convention and forgot she was supposed to censor a line.
It's revealed later that although Magellan wasn't about to give up his post at the time, he saw Hannyabal as the only one worthy to succeed him, which may explain why he more often than not does not react to his Freudian Slips.
Vash: It's not exactly something I like girls to see. I think many of them would run away.
Meryl: I wouldn't run away...Er, I mean, they wouldn't run away.
In Ore No Imouto Ga Konna Ni Kawaii Wake Ga Nai, Kirino tells her brother Kyousuke to buy a 30,000 yen (about $380 or so) ring for her in episode 7 while shopping and doing research for her novel. He refuses, and asks why she even needs it. She mentions that her main character in the novel was out on a date before a disaster's supposed to hit. And that the ring has emotional value and should therefore come from the one you love. Then she immediately blushes, turns away, and says she's talking about the novel.
In chapter nine of Don Rosa's The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck, "The Billionaire of Dismal Downs", Scrooge's sisters find the lock of Goldie's hair and start teasing him about it while he tries to talk about his property in America:
Matilda and Hortense: Scroogey's got a gir-ruhl! Scroogey's got a gir-ruhl!
Scrooge: The girl — I mean, the land — is in the state of Goldiesota — I mean Calisota — in a small settlement called Goldieburg — I mean Duckburg! Drat!
Brainy in The Smurfs story "Salad Smurfs" accidentally refers to Papa Smurf as Papa Pea right after he gets transformed into a pea.
Throughout the majority of Face The Strange, the author messes up "gays" and "guys" all the time, leading to unintentional hilarity when you remember the whole fic is basically about Dally and her harem killing Dumbledore for being gay.
In Naruto:Asunder, Naruto keeps telling Hinata that he's okay with her being his roommate. When she says she doesn't want to impose Naruto answers with "I won't let you leave!". He doesn't catch on however.
In Bruce Almighty, after Bruce uses his powers (supposedly) to enlarge Grace's breasts, she asks him if they look bigger to him. When he finishes his breakfast, he remarks "This has been the breast beck...breast...thank you."
In the third Austin Powers film, as Austin is interrogating Dr. Evil, the doctor notes everything Austin does is aimed at his father's approval. Austin denies it ("Nothing could be my father from the truth!"), but the word "dad" keeps slipping out ("No I dadn't!"). Eventually he breaks down.
The many encounters Austin has had with Fred Savage's huge mole on his face (other than the irony that he is "The Mole" to infiltrate Dr. Evil's Lair), after this goes on for a really, really, really, really, really, long time like when he says "Nice to mole you...meet you", and then inadvertently blurts out the word "mole" every chance he gets after. Later on, the joke looks like it's about to stop (my mole-stake), after Savage tells him to get it out of Austin's system, but not before he eventually breaks down:
Austin: Mole! Bloody mole! We're not supposed to talk about the bloody mole, but there's the bloody mole winking me in the face. I'm gonna chop it off and cut it up and make some guacaMOLE!
Austin: Mole! Mole! Mole! Bloody mole! Bloody mole, you bloody moley bastard! Don't talk about the bloody mole, but the mole's so big it probably VOTES! Looks like a bloody bubble on a pizza, you bloody mole-faced mole bugger! Moley, moley, moley, the brothers MacMolen. You'd be in Spain you'd be a bull and you'd say 'MOLLAAAY!!!' Even the bloody mole's got a mole it's such a bloody big mole. It's the moley grail of moles! Your molier-than-thou attitude! Stick your bloody mole up your bum bum, you moley bastard! Moley MOLE!!!
Captain Amelia: Actually, doctor, your astronomical advice was most helpful.
Doctor Doppler: Well, thank you. Thank you very much. Well, I have a lot to offer anatomically...amamomically! ...as...astronomically. (facepalm)
Parodied all to hell and back in the Jim Carrey film Liar Liar.
Attractive girl in elevator: Everyone here's been real nice to me.
Jim Carrey: Well, that's because you have big jugs. *alarmed expression* I mean...your boobs are huge! *even more alarmed* I mean...I wanna squeeze 'em! I mean...Mommy.
In Hamlet 2, Dana Marschz and the tight-ass principal of the school at which he teaches drama are having an argument about the appropriateness of staging a play which contains (minimal) nudity, sex and a controversial mangling of William Shakespeare's greatest play, organised religion, time travel and Dana Marschz'sdaddy issues when out of the blue Dana suddenly screeches "You never believed in me daddy I hate you!"
Clark: Oh, I was just smelling - smiling. I was just blouse - browsing. I, uh, heh heh. Well, I guess it just wouldn't...Oh hee hee, it wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they - HOTTER than they are. Whew. It is warm in here, isn't it?
Mary: You have your coat on.
Clark: Yes, oh do I? Yeah, it is a bit nipply out. I mean nippy. What am I saying, nipple?
In Analyze That, Billy Crystal's character is talking with a pair of plainclothes police detectives (one of whom is an attractive, short-skirted woman) and mentions his late father, whose funeral he's just returned from.
Sam: I was wondering if... if I could ride you home... I, I mean if I could give you a ride home.
In the first Sex and the City film, Samantha sees Dante taking an outdoor shower completely naked, when he notices her.
Samantha:I'm sorry, I'm your next door neighbor and my dog ran up on your dick...deck!
How many psychoanalysts does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: One to screw it in, and the other to hold my penis. I mean, my mother! I mean, the ladder!
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing and mean your mother.
In one volume of Piers Anthony's pun-filled Xanth series, The Color of Her Panties, the well-endowed Mera wears a Freudian slip. It keeps, well, slipping and showing a bit more than she intended.
Genghis Khan commits a rather heartwarming slip in Lords of the Bow; talking about the expansion of the Mongol nation, he pointedly tells Jochi that it could all be taken away from him by an annoying son who doesn't know when to shut up. Jochi notes that this is the first time Genghis has acknowledged him as his son.
In Spider Robinson's Callahan's Secret, Jake introduces himself to Mary at their first meeting (both of them are naked, on the roof of the bar, in the rain) with the unforgettable opening line "It certainly is a very nice tits."
Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea has a rare non-sexual slip-up. Arronax is rather perturbed when he finds out he is to go shark-hunting, and later accidentally replaces the word "pearls" with "sharks".
In the afterword of Fate Zero, Gen Urobuchi notes that he made a typo, accidentally writing "courage" as "lingering ghosts." He hypothesizes that this is the result of using HATRED...Whoops, he meant IME.
In Book 6 of the Dresden Files, Harry sends his air spirit adviser, Bob, to find out where an enemy is hiding. Bob instead spends the time visiting strip clubs. When Harry is (to put it mildly) upset about it, Bob tries to calm him down with:
Bob: I was just doing the breast job I co- best, best! The best job I could!
Live Action TV
Several in Mock the Week with "Bad things to hear at the psychiatrist's"
Hello, and welcome to your first session of freudian analysis. Now, what seems to be the penis?
Ok, word association time. I'm going to say a word and I want you to say the first thing that pops into your breasts.
Blossom: Blossom addresses Six by the name "Sex" at least once...and blurting out the word made her conclude (incorrectly) that her boyfriend, Vince, was trying to pressure her into taking their relationship to the next level.
Dramatic example in the episode "Noel". Josh is bemoaning the presence of Christmas bagpipe players in the foyer of the West Wing, and at one point snaps "I can hear the damn sirens all over the building!", substituting 'sirens' for 'pipes'. Dramatic because it is just one of the numerous signs that Josh is acting increasingly irrational and unstable as a result of a rapidly approaching Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder breakdown he is heading towards as a consequence of being shot a few episodes earlier.
A more traditionally Freudian family-related one would be in "Somebody's Going to Emergency, Somebody's Going to Jail," when Sam finds out that his father has been having a twenty-eight-year affair. On the same day, a friend of Donna's comes to him asking him to look into clearing the name of her grandfather, who was a State Department staffer accused of being a Soviet spy in the fifties, because she knows Sam has shown interest in his case before. He throws himself into it, only to find out that the guy actually was a spy. Donna tries to stop him from telling the friend, and he goes into a big speech about betrayed loyalty and ends it with, "This girl's going to find out who her father is." Donna says, "Sam...you meant grandfather."
In the episode "To Market, To Market", Frank is talking with Henry Blake in his tent, which is strewn with nurses' lingerie:
Frank: Sir, I'm afraid there may be black stockings...er, marketeers operating in the camp.
In "A Full Rich Day", the 4077th has seemingly misplaced the body of a fallen Luxembourgian officer, to the outrage of the man's commander. By way of apology, Henry proposes holding a memorial service, stating "It's the lost we could do."
Henry:(officiating at the ceremony) Lost but not least...I mean, uh...least but not lost...
Al has a fantasy about a sexy girl coming to the shoestore:
Girl: Hi there, shoe man. I was in last week, and I can't stop thinking about you. Remember me?
Al: Nightly. I mean, vaguely.
Escorting a pretty woman out of the house:
Al: After you, my rear. I mean, my dear.
Al and Steve go to a bra shop:
Saleswoman: May I help you?
Steve: Uh, yes. We'd like to buy some breasts. A bra!
Al: And breasts.
Happened to Captain Archer twice in the Star Trek: Enterprise episode "A Night in Sickbay". Dr. Phlox calls to his attention the fact that he is attracted to T'Pol, but Archer denies it. Late when T'Pol enters the room he makes the two following Freudian slips: "...but I'm doing the breast...*beat* The best I can." and "When you get to the bridge, you can send me your lips. Lisp. List!"
Hilariously lampshaded by Phlox about seven seconds later:
Jane from Coupling comes out with a beauty, when she compliments a co-worker she fancies on his fantastic penis. And goes on to say 'I used to have one of those'. During a later conversation, she goes into a full-blown Freudian Slippery Slope.
In the Wizards Of Waverly Place episode "Alex Does Good", Alex is forced to join the Happy Helpers Club, where they get rewards for doing next to nothing. Alex ends up questioning whether anyone thought that the club was wrong for it, this is followed by Harper standing up and yelling "I don't, it's time I got some appreciation, Mom!"
Fraiser lost a girlfriend because he kept calling her Cassandra, the name of his most recent ex-girlfriend.
Niles pulled off a truly epic one in the episode "Adventures in Paradise."
Niles: If you ask me, Frasier, your trepidation is well-founded. It is possible to move a relationship along too fast and ultimately marry too hastily. You could find a few years down the line that the person isn't really right for you, and then, what happens if you meet the right person? Someone who really excites you and makes you feel alive, but you can't act upon it because you're trapped in a stale, albeit comfortable Maris! *several awkward beats* ...Marriage. I have to go now.
In another episode, "The Last Time I Saw Maris", Frasier tries to talk Niles out of apologizing to Maris after she files for divorce:
Frasier: If you back down now you will go through the rest of your life feeling weak and small because you never had the courage to say "I will not let you treat me like this, Lilith! ...Maris!" ...Well, I've lost all credibility here. Dad, will you please say something?
On Friends, Ross called Emily "Rachel" at the altar, after which the whole marriage went to hell.
Emily from Skins, just after a fairly intense conversation with Naomi.
Thomas: Which [twin] are you?
Emily: Gay...I mean Emily!
Used as a plot device, near the end of the series, Sabrina from Sabrina the Teenage Witch has a Freudian Slip (interestingly in front of her fiance's psychologist mother) when she meant to say "I love _____" (honestly, how many of us can remember the name of the boyfriend at the final season, the show had a real problem with major time holes between seasons) what she ended up saying is "I love Harvey!"
In Angel episode "Spin the Bottle" Wesley blurts out "Lets not give up probe", after Fred rambles about how aliens must have probed her helpless, naked body.
Buffy: Why does everyone think I'm still in love with Spike?
On a Late Late Show episode, Craig Ferguson once tried to say, "Glass is breaking", but it came out as, "Grass is breaking". After catching himself, Ferguson remarked, "That was a bit of a Freudian penis."
Colonel: I object, in the strongest possible terms, to this obvious reference to our own slogan "It's a dog's life...er, a man's life in the modern army." ... Colonel: I have already warned this programme about infringing the Army copyright of our slogan "It's a pig's life...man's life in the modern army". And I'm warning you if it happens again, I shall come down on this programme like a ton of bricks...right.
A later sketch has a list of composers that includes "Panties...sorry."
In the "Science Fiction Sketch", after Angus Podgorny's wife is killed by a blancmange, an inspector tells him:
Inspector: Do sit down, Mr Podgorny. I think what's happened is terribly, terribly, funny...tragic.
Once, after an escalating series of slips:
Art critic: I'd like to talk to you tonight about the place of the nude in my bed...I-in the history of my bed. Art! Art. In the history of art. The nude in the history of tart...call girl! Sorry. Start again. (clears throat) Bum. Oh, what a giveaway!
In this collection of TV-bloopers a female newscaster, after a seeing a scene from Africa with a lion in it, comments "Mm, nice pussy", probably ensuring that questions of her sexual preferences will follow her throughout her entire career.
In the All in the Family episode "Class Reunion", Edith doesn't want to go to her class reunion without Archie, but changes her mind when she finds out, that her old crush, Buck Evans will be there. When Archie hears this, he decides he will go too. When Gloria asks if it's because of Buck Evans, he answers: "No! Because no real man lets his wife go out alone at night after Buck! Dark!"
Kurt: I have no criticisms. Go with God, Satan! *beat* Santana!
A blooper that did not make officially on air on Match Game but has been seen in blooper shows had Gene Rayburn introducing new contestant Karen Lesko, then commenting on her dimples. Instead he said "nipples."
Jeff: We should study separately, by ourselves. Annie: Yeah, that way we can be more reproductive— productive!
Happens in an episodes of Two and a Half Men. Alan is calling in for a meeting with Jake's principal after his son makes fun of a girl's large breasts. Outside the office, Alan meets the girl's mother, who has similarly large breasts, and uses this trope to dig himself and Jake a bigger hole.
In Peep Show, Mark is doing some word association with a therapist, and decides to lie. We hear the answer he thinks and then the one he says: "Work." Snake pit. "Snake...charmer." Eventually we get, "Mother." Sophie. "Fuck! No, not 'fuck'!"
In the Doctor Who episode "Blink", one of the few non-terrifying scenes are Billy Shipton hitting on Sally Sparrow. Sally tries to sound non-committal, and then this:
In the original series' Remembrance of the Daleks, there's a throwaway line by The Doctor that's often connected with the fabled "Cartmel Master Plan":
Doctor: The Hand of Omega is a mythical name for Omega's remote star manipulator, a device used to customize stars. And didn't we have trouble with the prototype...
On one episode of Scrabble, host Chuck Woolery accidentally said "Let's recrap the scores".
At least twice during his long tenure as host of The Newlywed Game, Bob Eubanks said "25-point boner question" instead of "bonus".
In an early episode of Scrubs, Dr. Kelso unloads a difficult patient on Elliot after she pisses him off. The patient in question is an elderly man who has a habit of disrobing for no reason. The first time he does this in front of Elliot, she nervously makes an excuse to leave the room:
Elliot: Excuse me while I go check on another penis. Patient! Um, he's a-he's a penis patient."
On the first episode of Wheel of Fortune after the retirement of the shopping rounds, a contestant asked to buy an owl instead of a vowel. Host Pat Sajak quipped that they no longer sell birds on the show.
On an episode of the 1989 revival of Now You See It, host Chuck Henry was revealing one of the answers that the contestant had missed in the Bonus Round. One of them was "Peanuts", but when saying it, Henry accidentally omitted the "T".
When Rose introduces her new boyfriend to Dorothy and Blanche in The Golden Girls, they try desperately to ignore his smallness, but it just becomes an unfortunate string of these.
A variation appears in the "Auspicious Beginnings" module for the wuxia RPG Weapons of the Gods: The beautiful courtesan Red Lotus challenges one player to write the character for "beauty" on a 10-foot scroll in one stroke. If they fail their Calligraphy roll...well, all the module will say outright is that they "accidentally spell out what they were thinking, instead", but the implication is fairly clear.
In Bye Bye Birdie, teenage girls scream their hearts out when they hear their idol Conrad Birdie sing "Honestly Sincere". The lyrics have perhaps less of a Freudian Slip than a case of walking blindly into a Double Entendre:
"When I sing about a tree, I really feel that tree. When I sing about a girl, I really feel that girl — I mean, I really feel sincere!"
If you want to your work to reach fruition, What you need's a link with your tradition, And of course a prominent commission, Plus a little formal recognition, So that you can go on exhibit— So that your work can go on exhibition!
In On the Town, Madame Dilly, finding her bottle empty, excuses herself from the room, telling Ivy, "I'll be back before you can say Jack Daniels—Jack Robinson."
More complex than a simple word swap, in Twelfth Night, when Orsino's Berserk Button is pushed ( he finds out that Olivia loves Cesario), he threatens to murder Cesario, comparing himself to an Egyptian thief who murdered his own lover to keep her from being tortured. He's inadvertently revealing that Cesario is the one he's in love with.
In the all-female Chalmersspex of 2012, Cristal asks George to put away the picnic. George grumbles about how he has to do everything around here — Thomas, his object of mutual uncertain affection, blurts this out:
And then The Nostalgia Critic does it too in his review of Barb Wire. "Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't boobies! I mean, er...boobies, with the booby boobies...boobyboobyboobies!"
From the A Kid in King Arthur's Court review:
Nostalgia Critic: Hey, they're actresses first and sisters second, and that's good enough in my porno—book.
Also in the previous season when Azula's plan to capture Zuko and Iroh by acting like they were being brought back home honorably is ruined by a single soldier accidentally saying "prisoners" instead of "guests". She is rightly pissed, though in all fairness Iroh had clearly caught on to her real intention well before that.
Another time he introduced himself to a new intake of students as "Principal Sinner", and when they burst out laughing muttered "Oh, that does it, I've lost them forever".
And in The Last Temptation of Homer when Homer is trying to avoid his attractive new co-worker Mindy and unexpectedly ends up in an elevator with her: "I guess we'll be going down together, I mean getting off together, I mean...That's okay, I'll just press the button for the stimulator."
When Marge's Romance Novel-inspired daydream is interrupted by Lisa's saxophone practice, she says "Lisa, stop blowing my sex! I mean stop blowing your sax! Your sax! Stop it!"
In one episode of Family Guy, Meg is dating a nudist. Her mother slips "Now, Meg, no need to get so testes...Testy! Nuts! I mean crap!".
When Meg goes to the meeting of the Lesbian Alliance, she says: "Hi, you gays...guys...girls."
Lois says to Chris: "Meet me in the ten inches or less line — items!"
In the episode "Jerome Is the New Black", Peter finds out that Lois used to date his new friend, Jerome and gets jealous. Lois says: "You're being silly! I mean, Jerome and I dated over 12 inches ago!"
Peter: "Lois, our relationship can not be measured in nipples and dimes...nickels and boobs...money."
Stewie: "Wanna go ride the tea bags? ...I mean, tea cups..? Tea bags...?"
In one episode of Arthur, Buster shoplifted something and was paranoid about getting caught when he and Arthur returned to the store. "Lemme just get these Lawbreakers — Jawbreakers!"
Jack Spicer: *after defeating the monks and the Black Vipers* Say, who are all these people?
Jessie: We're the Black Vipers, the most elite all-girl gang to ever roam these wild plains.
Viper Girl: And since you have defeated us, our law demands that you inherit leadership of the Black Vipers.
Jack: Yes...I guess this makes me QUEEN!
The 1944 Popeye cartoon "Puppet Love" has a deliberate Freudian Slip. Popeye finds out Bluto crossed him with Olive with a Popeye marionette, so he knocks Bluto out and uses him as a marionette, staging an attempt on Olive's life. As Popeye jumps into to the "rescue":
Popeye: Unhand that swine, you girl! Er, that girl, you swine!
Used in a literal sense in Anastasia when Sugmund Freud, singing along with "Paris Holds the Key," slips on a banana.
Cranky: I mean, it was, I mean, it is, yes, it's pretty, now put it down!
Gargamel in The Smurfs episode "Gargamel The Generous" tries to hide the fact that his sudden niceness to the Smurfs is because he wants the diamonds that they have found, though he accidentally refers to Papa Smurf as Papa Diamonds.
In Robots, after the main character Rodney Copperbottom saw that the landlord had a huge bottom, he tried to introduce himself.
Rodney: I'm Rodney Bigbottom - No, I'm Rodney Copperbottom. Copperbottom.
One Dilbert Newsletter has an allegedly true story where a boss who is hiring his daughter as a higher up, and at the meeting he states "Now you may accuse me of incest, but-" and one of his employees says "Don't you mean Nepotism?"
It is amazing the number of valedictorians that say sex instead of success in graduation speeches. It always gets a big cheer from their peers however.
When credit cards were first introduced to Britain, one early prospectus had an interesting misprint: "The Access facility can be used at all stores displaying the red and greeD symbol."
Speaking about misprints, one edition of the Bible inadvertently dropped a "not" from the commandment "Thou shalt not commit adultery". (The printers received a heavy fine and most of the copies were recalled and destroyed; only 11 remain to this day.)
In a common anecdote, a vicar attempting to introduce actress Diana Dors by her real name - Diana Fluck - was so nervous about mispronouncing her name that he introduced her as 'Diana Clunt'.
In Geometry class, you can determine if a triangle is congruent to another by finding the lengths of certain parts. The Side-Side-Side Postulate is abbreviated to SSS, Angle-Side-Angle is ASA, and so on. While not a valid one, there is always someone who mistakenly tries to use Angle-Side-Side...
NHL analyst Darren Pang went on to comment about PK Subban, one of the very few black (and one of the most colorful) hockey player. He then compared him to Alex Pietrangelo, saying that Subban should be more like the latter who: