Nobody ever wants to be the keynote speaker at the annual convention of the Society for Sufferers of Chronic Freudian Slip Syndrome. I wonder why?
Good evening. I'd like to talk to you tonight about the place of the nude in my bed. Um — in the history of my bed — of art, of art, I'm sorry. The place of the nude in the history of tart — call-girl — I'm sorry, I'll start again. (Beat) Bum — oh, what a giveaway!
Sometimes a character in a book or show has a lot on their mind. And try their best, they just can't stop blurting it out in a Freudian Slip, at all. And of course That Came Out Wrong and any attempt to stop the flow just results in more vulgarities. If they're trying to impress someone, they're just plain out of luck. Of course, those with a Hair-Trigger Temper will always interpret the error as intentional. If you're discussing matters with a stranger, you'll be mistaken for a pervert.
Similar to Digging Yourself Deeper and Sammy's Glass Eye, which it tends to be used in conjunction with. However, in Sammy's Glass Eye, the humor comes from an uptight member of society inadvertently mentioning an embarrassing or nude peculiarity they had taken pains to avoid, and in Digging Yourself Deeper it comes from the words used being poorly-chosen, rather than slipping out of the subconscious.
Compare Accidental Innuendo, when a person has control over what they say, but doesn't realize any Double Entendres that they just spouted.
The reality that he had quite possibly just said the most awkward thing in his life hit Light when the sound of chairs scraping against the floor reverberated all through the room as everyone in the task force turned to stare at him.
Smurfette: Empath, what's the matter? You seem to smurf rather nervous about talking of that night.
Empath: Oh...well, it's just a little something that rises...I mean, raises this smurf's interest in you, Smurfette. Frankly, this smurf was also thinking of you last night, that you were part of this smurf's dreams.
Smurfette: Really? I hope it's not the same kind of dream that every Smurf says they have about me.
Empath: Uh, of course not, Smurfette. This smurf would never insert myself into you...I mean, insert you into this smurf's dreams like that to...uh, do anything to you...that is, uh, of that kind of nature.
Smurfette: You are the new Smurf around here, so I guess if you even smurfed that kind of dream, I would just think it would be natural for you to smurf it. I'm sorry for bothering you about it, Empath. I should have known that such things wouldn't be what you would smurf during your time in Psychelia.
Empath: That's how it is in Psychelia, Smurfette. We're trained to have our thoughts free of anything that would be distracting. This smurf was very sex full...I mean, successful at it before returning home for you...uh, for good.
Dild - err... Film
Wild Wild West (1999). Jim West and Artemus Gordon are discussing Rita Escobar.
Artemus: She's a breath of fresh ass.
Jim: Pardon me?
Jim: You said "ass."
Artemus: No, I didn't. I said, "It's nice having her on board, she's a breast of fresh air."
Jim: Let's just get some shut ass.
Though note that Jim's is implied to be intentional.
Debbie: Bitchin! I just love the feel of tuck and roll upholstery.
Terry: Yeah? Well, get in and I'll let you feel it... I mean, you know, you can touch it... uh... I'll let you feel the upholstery.
Broken out in the interrogation scene in Austin Powers: Goldmember, where the spy is accused of being obsessed with daddy issues.
"Nothing could be my father from the truth." "No I dadn't!"
Used frequently in Liar Liar, the slips being so direct that they barely even count as slips anymore.
A Bug's Life, after Flik discovers the "warrior bugs" are circus performers:
Flik: Your highness! The warriors have called a secret meeting to make plans for circus - circumventing the oncoming horde, so that we can trapeze - trap them with ease!
In Fierce Creatures, John Cleese has a brilliant monologue about lemurs wherein he is unable to go five words without mentioning Jamie Lee Curtis' breasts. After thoroughly making a fool of himself, he apologizes for his "Freudian slit... er, slut... slot!".
In Baseketball, upon encountering the apparently very well-endowed heroes naked in a gym shower, the hero's (rather sexually repressed and simultaneously sexually frustrated) girlfriend finds herself struggling to remain on topic with the furious rant she has prepared for them.
Jenna: You're just two selfish men with huge ... egos arguing over which of you is the bigger penis! I mean, child. (pauses for composure) Long wanger. (another pause) Throbbing cock! Oh God, I don't even know what I'm saying anymore!
In National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Clark Griswold is shopping at a department store and tries to make small talk with a buxom female sales clerk at the lingerie counter. The trope is duly employed.
"I was just smelling...smiling! I was just blouse...browsing!" "It wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than...hotter than they are!" "It's a bit nipply out...I mean nippy out! HA, HA, HA! What did I say, nipple?" "There are plenty of shopping days until adultery...adulthood. Which is to say, Christmas. As in, Yule. Yule Log. Not a log, I don't have a log, I mean, you know...If I had a log. Not in the sense that you think I said I did."
In In And Out, Howard attempts to introduce Peter (who has just passionately kissed him) to his parents: "This is my Peter - uh, my *friend* Peter. We just met at the, uh, intersexual... homosection... INTERSECTION!"
The play within a movie, Noises Off , has the actors perform in a comedy/sex farce. A lawyer with his office girl attempts to explain to the housekeeper what he's doing at the otherwise empty house owned by his firm:
"I've come to go into a few things....er, to check some of the measurements...uhm, do one or two odd jobs!"
Dr. Doppler has a habit of this, switching "adorable" for "deplorable" "Fellow" for "Felon", and, most amusingly, "astronomically" for "anatomically" when talking to the lovely Captain Amelia.
Bruce Almighty when Jennifer Aniston's character notices her breasts are bigger.
Bruce: Listen I uh have to go. This has been the breast break... breast... thank you.
Lick...Libido... sorry, Literature!
The whole extended scene in Michael Moorcock's Elric Saga, in which the eponymous albino hero first finds the dread hellsword Stormbringer, a fearsome weapon that often acts according to an agenda of its own, without input from the person wielding it, which often over-rides the conscious will of its owner. To win this three foot length of hard unyielding steel, Elric has to physically enter the Pulsating Cavern, a vertical slit-like aperture almost wholly concealed by a wild growth of gorse and thorn bushes. The Pulsating Cavern is body-warm, drips with glutinous viscous salty liquid, and its walls pulsate rhythmically and are suffused with unearthly pink-red light. A one-way membrane at the end must be broken through, and leads to a large round chamber, in which two swords hang in the air, in potentio. Elric then fights his nemesis, Yyrkoon. The losing sword in the fight, Stormbringer's twin Mournblade, howls with anguish and transforms into the scabbard for Stormbringer. Once plunged into and encased in the scabbard, Stormbringer becomes quiescent, and Elric may then leave the Cavern, his potency restored. Not sure if this subtle metaphor is all that obvious, Mike. Can you dumb it down a little?
Live In Bed Action TV... err... I mean, without the In Bed part...
In the MST3K episode "Cave Dwellers", when the hero is standing there captured and shirtless...
Crow: Well, tit's all over — I mean, it's all over for you, Ator! I know we've been breast — best friends... damn it."
Tom Servo, in a later episode: "Ma'am, may I pour you a buttock? — I mean a nip? — drink?"
Martin: Would you stop moping, it'll all work ass.
And later, still reading the paper:
Martin: Listen, your job's to give him the party he wants. Everything else is between them. It's absolutely none of your boobs!
The Star Trek: Enterprise episode "A Night in Sickbay" had Archer doing this in front of T'Pol, since it was implied he had feelings for her.
One Kids in the Hallskit, involving a businessman asking his secretary to write a letter for him, takes this to the point of complete incoherence. He is unable to speak five words without mentioning breasts in some way, and eventually forms a sentence made almost entirely of words for breasts.
The Fawlty Towers episode "The Germans" combines this with Ignore The Disability: Basil implores Polly not to "mention the war" to a group of German guests, then proceeds to invoke the trope while talking with them himself.
Basil: Do you wish to eat now? Or would you like to have a drink before the war...-NING! That trespassers will be tied up with piano wire- Sorry, Sorry!
Interviewer: From the world of the theatre we turn to the world of dental hygiene. No, no, no, no. From the world of the theatre we turn to the silver screen. We honour one of the silver screen's outstanding writer-dentists... writer-directors, Martin Curry who is visiting London to have a tooth out, for the pre-molar, er... premiere of his filling, film next Toothday—Tuesday, at the Dental Theatre... Film Theatre. Martin Curry talking to Matthew Palate—Padget!
From "Full Frontal Nudity":
Art Critic: Good evening. I'd like to talk to you tonight about the place of the nude in my bed ... um ... in the history of my bed ... of art, of art, I'm sorry. The place of the nude in the history of tart... call-girl... I'm sorry. I'll start again... Bum ... oh what a giveaway. The place of the nude in art.
In the Two and a Half Men episode "Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover", Jake gets suspended from school after drawing an offensive picture of Barbara, a girl in his class that has large breasts. When his father, Alan goes to speak to the principal, he meets a busty woman, and says: "Oh, you must be Boober's mom! I mean, Barbara's mams. Hi!"
On an episode of 3rd Rock from the Sun Dick seems to notice his office assistant is attractive for the first time. It causes him to drop a potted plant.
Dick: I'm sorry, I dropped your firm buttocks. Uh, fern buttocks. FERN! ... ... buttocks.
In this clip, the newsanchor is apparently embracing her shadow slut when she goofs when talking about an upcoming sausage competition that she'll be judging.
Wank - I mean, Web - Org- ORIGINAL!! Original.
The end of the Zero Punctuation video on Tomb Raider has Yahtzee, who has promised to make no breast jokes throughout the video, coming up with a series of video game ideas with more and more words being substituted by the word "bosoms". He then breaks down into a Hurricane of Euphemisms for bosoms.
Also, in his review of Bayonetta, he maintains that the fetishization going on with the character doesn't affect him at all. A minute later he says "the gameplay is adequate at breast. Best." Then he continues doing them on set intervals during the rest of the review.
It reaches its peak when he amends a slip with the exact same word: "...And at some points, the game seems to pull death sequences out of its ass - I mean, ass..."
If you date someone and don't wind up marrying that person, it could lead to a lot of pain. You could still secretly be in love with that person, and regret not doing the right thing and marrying Jean. I mean Jean. I mean Jean Engvall. I mean that person. Jean.
"Tom's impressed, quickly taking hold of Harry's instrument - er, I mean, complimenting Harry on his...showing his appreciation of...Tom has a clarinet. Harry's a little hesitant, but Tom insists that Harry slip that instrument between his lips— (beat) ...Use proper tongue technique— (beat)... supplemented by careful finger manipulation along the long shaft of hard wood— (beat) ...to make beautiful music— (beat) ...I give up. I award this scene the Congressional Medal of Gay".
And a Call Back in "Non Sequitur. Sure, Harry's left his hot horny fiancée behind to go grab a stick and play with Tom, but dammit there's nothing gay about it!
"Harry's just trying to convince Tom to come back with him to San Francisc--! (beat) ...Harry wants Tom in the pilot's sea—! (beat) Harry knows that Tom is good with his hands—! shit."
Western ass-motion - ANIMATION! Animation, I mean...
In The Simpsons, Homer is trapped in an elevator with his co-worker Mindy: "Looks like we'll be going down together-oop- I mean... getting off togethe-I mean... I'll just push the button for the stimulator - I mean elevator!"
Also from The Simpsons, when Homer and Marge are playing badminton with Apu and Manjula, and Apu is cheating on her:
Homer: The score is dirty love... I mean, thirty, love! I mean, anyone for penis?!... I'll just get the cock... shuttlecock!
Family Guy's version—or one of them, anyway—was an episode were Lois insisted Peter watch some marriage counseling tapes with her. They turned out to be pornos that sent the woman out of the room, did some dirty things, and then demanded the viewer buy the next tape to see what happened next. Each progressive tape was more expensive, though...
Lois: Peter, $49.95 for a counselin' tape? Peter: Now Lois, our marriage can't be measured in nipples and dimes. I mean nickels and boobs. ...money.
Peter: Not a word to your mother about my getting canned. Lois: What? Peter: Nothing. Ooh, the lostmyjob smells great! Lois: Excuse me? Peter: Uh, Meg, honey, could you please pass the firedmyassfornegligence? Lois: Peter, are you feeling okay? Peter: What are you talking about, Lois? I feel great. I haven't got a job in the world!
Home Movies with a scene around the dinner table (well, between Brendan and his Mom), where Brendan is trying to avoid talking about acting class, which he's been kicked out of, and his mother is trying not to think about the guy in her adult writing class that she's been passionately making out with for no reason. You know what? Watch the first minute of this. Now *that's* a Freudian Slippery Slope.