- The page quote is from the legendary Dead Parrot sketch from Monty Python's Flying Circus.
- Many other sketches had similar lines. John Cleese and Graham Chapman would often write sketches together, using a thesaurus to come up with many ways of saying the same thing. This was later lampshaded by Eric and Graham, when, during one sketch where Eric (in drag) is naming off different ways to say "predict". A board comes down with a list of all the words he's saying, and the audience reads them off at the same time while Graham (also in drag) points to them.
- The above sketch was written by Terry Jones and Michael Palin as a parody of the Cleese/Chapman. Terry and Michael were incredibly surprised when the group decided it was still funny enough to be filmed.
- This was coupled with Unusual Euphemism in the "Wink Wink" sketch, including "candid photography" - at least until The Reveal that the man spouting said euphemisms is also a virgin.
- The beginning of Cleese's eulogy for Chapman: "Graham Chapman, co-author of the 'Parrot Sketch', is no more. He has ceased to be. Bereft of life, he rests in peace. He's kicked the bucket, hopped the twig, bit the dust, snuffed it, breathed his last, and gone to meet the great Head of Light Entertainment in the sky."
- The Bill featured Sgt. Gilmore (who was gay) in his first episode reeling off a long list of euphemisms for "gay".
- Life On Mars also features Gene Hunt (who's not gay and is more like homophobic) doing a shorter, more offensive list of gay euphemisms.
- Stargate SG-1: Jack O'Neill describing his declining mental state in "Window of Opportunity", saying, "Lose it. It means, go crazy... nuts... insane... bonzo... no longer in possessions of one's faculties... three fries short of a Happy Meal... WACKO!"
- Along with a fantastic illustration.◊
- Jack does this again a few seasons later after he downloads an alien database into his head. From previous experience, they know what to anticipate if they don't manage to get him somewhere that it can be removed from his brain before it's too late:
Samantha Carter: And then it will overwhelm his nervous system and the colonel will...
Jack O'Neill: What? Meet my maker? Pay the piper? Reach the pearly gates? Start pushing up daisies here and there?
- From the Brass Eye pedophile special, with increasingly bizarre made-up euphemisms:
Interviewer: You are a paedophile. You are a nonce. You're a perv. You're a slot badger. You're a two pin din plug. You're a bush dodger. You're a small bean regarder. You're a unabummer. You're a nut administrator. You're a bent ref. You're The Crazy World of Arthur Brown. You're a fence vole. You're a free willy. You're a chimney bottler. You're a bunty man. You're a shrub rocketeer.
Paedophile: Yes well, you know, you've just mentioned some of the names that we have to put up with every day and it's just another form of racism.
- While probably not humorous, on Doctor Who the Sixth Doctor (played by Colin Baker) has a habit of using such streams of related terms, especially when frustrated or angry. In one Big Finish audio adventure, a character says that talking to the Doctor is "like arguing with a bloody thesaurus!"
- Data was known to do this in earlier seasons of Star Trek: The Next Generation.
Guinan: That's it, isn't it? You don't have any idea what a joke is.
Data: Of course I do. It is a witticism, a gag, a bon mot, a fluctuation of words which concludes with a "trick" ending, it is...
- As does fellow robot Kryten in Red Dwarf, especially when annoyed.
- Polly of Fawlty Towers does this to inform Basil that the new chef has gotten drunk while attempting to hide the same fact from the guests by following each euphemism with something that might reasonably be the object of said euphemism: "potted the shrimp", "soused the herrings", "pickled the onions", and "smashed the eggs". Under the table...
- Mystery Science Theater 3000: At the end of Episode 320 (The Unearthly), TV's Frank pesters Dr. Forrester to do his Leo Gorcey impersonation:
Forrester: Frank, once again I'm going to have to kill you.
Frank: You wanna run that by me one more time?
Forrester: I'll run that by you one more time! (hitting Frank with his hat) Yeah, you know... kill... boost... ice... wax... skrag... douse... stifle... eighty-six... slip the Rosco... chill... dust... yank... toss a little kickshaw... raja...
- Joel gets in one of these earlier in the same season, explaining his Invention Exchange for Episode 307, the Air Freshener Mobile:
It's got bright-colored air fresheners that hang from strings, they stimulate baby's tiny brain, while the movement of the mobile activates charcoal filters, covering up the foul odor of baby's checher, ca-ca, po-po, nimbus, BM, and poopies. Servo:
- The IT Crowd: Played straight, and later Metaphorgotten by Douglas: "Well, I'm the boss, head honcho, el numero uno, Mr. Big, the Godfather, Lord of the Rings, the Bourne Identity, er... Taxi Driver, Jaws... Forgot the question a while ago."
- Also played straight with Jen trying to tell Moss that 'Aunt Irma is visiting her'. Roy finally comes up with one Moss gets.
- House uses one of these to explain a child's odd behaviour to her mother:
You mix rocking, grunting, sweating, and dystonia with concerned parents and you get an amateur diagnosis of epilepsy. In actuality, all your little girl is doing is saying "yoo hoo" to the hoo-hoo. Mother:
She's what? House:
Marching the penguin. Ya-ya-ing the sisterhood. Finding Nemo. Girl:
That was funny. House:
It's called gratification disorder. Sort of a misnomer. If one was unable to gratify oneself, that would be a disorder. Mother: (covering the girl's ears)
Are you saying she's masturbating
I was trying to be discreet. There's a child in the room!
- Speaking of Finding Nemo, there was the talk Uncle Andy gave to Shane in Weeds about the same subject.
- Queer as Folk: After Stuart's preteen nephew tries to blackmail him for being gay (Stuart's parents don't know) and with false accusations of paedophilia, Stuart corners him in front of the entire family and outs himself with a long stream of euphemisms and cacophemisms for homosexuality.
Stuart: Because I'm queer. I'm gay. I'm homosexual. I'm a poof, I'm a poofter, I'm a ponce. I'm a bumboy, batty-boy, backside artist, bugger. I'm bent. I am that arsebandit. I lift those shirts. I'm a faggot-ass, fudge-packing, shit-stabbing uphill gardener. I dine at the downstairs restaurant, I dance at the other end of the ballroom. I'm Moses and the parting of the red cheeks. I fuck and I am fucked. I suck and I am sucked. I rim them and wank them, and every single man's had the fucking time of his life. And I am not a pervert.
- When Monk believed he had been accidentally exposed to marijuana, he spent a few minutes naming slang words for the drugs, all almost all of them made up.
- A sometime-Catch Phrase used by Steve Urkel—whenever he made what he thought what a casual declaration of something, and people replied "Whaaaa?", he would reply with a Hurricane Of Euphemisms.
- When Sam switched places with Dr Ruth on Quantum Leap, Al took advantage of her presence in the waiting room to have a therapy session about his hangups:
AL: More about Tina?
Dr. Ruth: Uh-huh.
AL: Ah — well — ummm — oh well, ha-ha-ha, she's got... great... casabas!
Dr. Ruth: What are these... casabas?
AL: Well you know... melons, ho-has, honkers, hooters, headlights, ah— ta-tas? teeters, tweeters, tom-toms, tee-tees? [His face is all contorted trying to say just one word — LOL]
Dr. Ruth: Say it!
AL: I'm trying to say it! Meatballs, mangos, cream pies, cupcakes, eh — bangers, bouncers, bolumbas!
Dr. Ruth: Al!
AL: Bazongas! BREASTS! ...I said it! [With a very self-satisfied look on his face]
Dr. Ruth: You see, it wasn't that hard.
AL: Yes it was.
- Saturday Night Live: Wayne'sWorld would frequently do this when discussing vomiting, including in the movie.
- One SNL sketch had series regular Randy Quaid trying to tell Pee-Wee Herman that he needs to get a prostitute, without coming out and saying it:
Randy: Well...they wear lots of makeup...
Randy: No...let's just say you'd be embarrassed to be seen with one...
Pee-Wee: (nodding gravely) Mimes!
- This goes on for a while until Pee-Wee finally says "Well, I don't get it; maybe you should just go see a hooker!"
- Naomi and Katie do this for lesbianism in front of Emily in Skins. It's a rather awkward and painful sequence, as Katie thinks Naomi's gay (she's not - certainly at the time, and even by the end of the series she doesn't get past "confused"), while Naomi strongly (and rightly) suspects that Emily actually is gay, and Emily is nursing an epic crush on Naomi (which Naomi knows about, and isn't exactly pleased with until a couple of episodes later).
Naomi: So, Katie, you gonna be nice to me now we're Twister pals? I promise not to grab your minge and everything.
Katie: Okay, ha ha. Hands off the muff and we're sorted.
Naomi: Gotcha. No buffing the beaver.
Katie: No groping the growler.
Naomi: Don't tickle on my tinkle.
Katie: Okay, I won't fluff up your flange.
Emily: * hurt* You done?
Katie: Yep. We're double done with the DNA dump.
- The autistic JJ also tends to launch into one of these whenever he gets locked on.
- One Opening Monologue of Mock the Week concerning a police officer who joined in on a couple having sex in their car straddled this and Hurricane of Puns very quickly indeed. And very well.
- The whole point of the Whose Line Is It Anyway? game, If You Know What I Mean.
- Ali G, about drugs:
Ali: We all know that it's called the bionic, the bomb, the puff, the blow, the black, the herb, the sensie, the cronic, the sweet Mary Jane, the shit, Ganja, split, reefa, the bad, the buddha, the home grown, the ill, the maui-maui, the method, pot, lethal turbo, tie, shake, skunk, stress, whacky, weed, glaze, the boot, dimebag, Scooby Doo, bob, bogey, back yard boogie. But what is the other terms for it?
- On Friends when one of Monica's prospective catering clients gets baked before coming to dinner.
In the cab on the way over, Steve blazed a doobie. Rachel:
Smoked a joint, ya know, lit a bone, weed, hemp, ganja. Rachel:
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I know. Okay, I'm with you Cheech
- The closing narrative for the Twilight Zone episode "Four O'Clock" features a string of euphemisms for Laser-Guided Karma:
"At four o'clock, an evil man made his bed and lay in it, a pot called a kettle black, a stone-thrower broke the windows of his glass house. You look for this one under 'F' for fanatic, and 'J' for justice...in the Twilight Zone."
- Corner Gas has an episode where Wanda uses several euphemisms for jail, confusing and annoying Brent.
- On Game of Thrones, when Tyrion is called to confess his crimes, he confesses that when he was twelve, "I milked my eel, I flogged the one-eyed snake, I skinned my sausage, I made the bald man cry." And he did it into his sister's stew.
- Sabrina the Teenage Witch when Zelda finds out that Morgan has been manipulating her and Hilda.
Zelda: Hilda, we've been hoodwinked, bamboozled, led down the primrose path and shoved into a thicket of thorns.
- In Scrubs, episode "My Brother, Where Art Thou?" (03x05) J.D. asks Dr. Cox for a favor. Reply is:
Good God in heaven, Newbie. There are just so very many ways for me to say this to you: Never. Not in a million years. Absolutely not. No way, Jose. No chance, Lance. Nyet. Negatori. Mm-mm. Nuh-uh. Uh-uh. And of course, my own personal favorite of all time, man falling off of a cliff. Noooooooooo!
- Some of David Letterman's Top Ten lists qualify. Example, "The Top Ten Mafia Euphemisms for Death":
10. Checked into the Wooden Waldorf.
9. No longer eligible for the census.
8. Dropping both AT&T and MCI.
7. Your highway taxes at work.
6. Upcoming guest on 20/20.
5. He's fallen and he can't get up.
4. Resting his organs.
3. McRibs (for a limited time only).
2. Kicked the oxygen habit.
1. Bought a Yugo.
- In the Psych episode "Santabarbaratown", when Shawn and Gus are interviewing someone connected to the case:
Ida: I wanted children.
Gus: And he didn't?
Ida: Let's just say they weren't in the cards for him.
Ida: His juice had no pulp. His seed wasn't fruitful. He was pouring decaf. Pumping unleaded. His Hall had no Oates. He was sterile!
Shawn: Oh! Sure.
- In Who's the Boss?, Tony and Sam's grandfather are discussing the latter's incarceration, describing it as "Jail, the slammer, the big house, the joint."
- From The Big Bang Theory: "Does that include doing the cyber-nasty? You know, the virtual pickle-tickle, the digital Bow Chicka Wow Wow?"
- Almost Live!, Roscoe's Oriental Rug Emporium in the style of furniture store going out of business sale commercials.
- In one episode of MythBusters they attempt to see whether you can literally Polish The Turd, but they're not allowed to say the word turd, or crap, on the show. They give a Long List of the things they are allowed to call the substance in question, like "scat," "feces," "dung" and "poopies".