When Board James is bored, he plays some board games.
Board James is a Cinemassacre Web Original series, created and starred by James Rolfe, of The Angry Video Game Nerd fame. You can find the series hereBoard James is a pretty normal guy, a kid at heart who collects a great variety of Board Games as a hobby, and reviews them. Sometimes Board James does his reviews alone, and from time to time he's joined by his friend: Motherfucker Mike, who is a bit of a cheater when it comes to playing the games. And when there's a place on the board for an extra player, there's Bad Luck Bootsy, an annoying but friendly guy who is prone to ruining the games and who causes nothing but trouble to James, Mike and himself.It started out as a Spin-Off of The Angry Video Game Nerd, but it's now its own series. It follows the same Mid-Review Sketch Show formula that the AVGN helped popularize, but features a much less ''enraged'' style of reviewing, often focusing on the good too. Despite sometimes being still referred as a Spin-Off of AVGN, there is no established connection between the two series.See also You Know What's Bullshit?, another Web Original starring James Rolfe.
Motherfucker Mike: What are those tiles? What's up with the bushes? What's the other deck of cards? What are that circle of explosion pieces? How many times can this guy get hit? Can this guy move first or does he attack first? How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? The world may never know...
Breaking the Fourth Wall: In the review of Dragonstrike there's a moment in which James starts acting as if he was playing the game with a bunch of friends and starts assigning characters to each one, he then points out to the camera and claims "And you'll be the wizard!".
In the Loupin' Louie episode, James invites people that were at PAX 2011, including Kevin Finn, A.J. Locascio, Angry Joe, The Happy Video Game Nerd and Pedobear.
The Cast Showoff: It's a pretty safe bet that the entire reason for Bad Luck Bootsy's existence is to give Bootsy Spankins, P.I. the opportunity write filk songs about board games.
He splashed hot burning coffee all over his face at the end of the Donut Disaster episode, and in the Splat! episode we see him wearing the eye-patch and bandages over his face.
Double Entendre: All the time. Guaranteed if there are any balls involved in the game.
Board James: It's very stimulating cause you're always grabbing the balls underneath your gun. You gotta keep firing and reloading nonstop. But the gun gets jammed all the time.
Mr. Bucket: I'm Mr. Bucket, pop balls out of my mouth!
Dramatic Thunder: When James discovers Mr. Bucket under the bed sheets.
The Monster Madness episode's full of them.
Duct Tape For Everything: Used in the Weapons and Warriors episode while setting up the game. Because glue takes time to dry, and all is going to get fucked up again anyway.
Edutainment Show: His reviews may fall into this category, much more than the AVGN ones.
Evil Phone: Dream Phone is much more than just a girly game...
The End... Or Is It?: The ending of the Dream Phone episode. Was the phone really the killer or was it actually James going insane, imagining all the phone calls and doing all the killings himself?
Eye Scream: Bad Luck Bootsy.At the end of the Tornado Rex review, where he sends Tornado Rex flying, boucing off walls, and into his own eye.
The Faceless: Board James in the first episode. Probably to keep ambiguous whether if the narrator was the Nerd or not.
Fan Sequel: When he was a kid, James made a board game based on Street Fighter II... and tired of waiting for the actual sequel, he made another one based on his own imaginary version of Street Fighter III. One of the characters was ''Dracula''.
Flashback: a very humorous one with James and Mike remembering all the times Bootsy has screwed their fun.
Guide Dang It: While playing Battle Masters, Board James had to check the manual before attempting any move. And even with the manual at hand, the rules were way too complicated and confusing, to the point that Mike ended up giving up.
Groin Attack: Mister Bucket always goes for the balls.
And in The Stinger from the Shark Attack video, Bad Luck Bootsy is on the receiving end of one from the shark.
I Know Your True Name: Whoever is calling James on the Dream Phone challenges him to guess his name, asking only yes-or-no questions. It turns out to be the phone itself, and even though James figures it out, it still doesn't give him any power over it.
Limited Wardrobe: Averted. Unlike the Nerd, James wears a different shirt and baseball cap in each episode; however, they're always related to videogames, comics or movies.
Live Episode: Loupin' Louie episode was recorded live at PAX 2011.
Loads and Loads of Rules: Some of the boardgames, particularly Heroquest and Battle Masters (and how!), which were made by the same creators by the way.
Luck-Based Mission: Deadly Danger Dungeon. Even playing the fan-retooled version that's actually beatable will kill you over and over and over...
Bad Luck Bootsy: I like my coffee like I like my women... with my dick in it!.
Montages: One appears in the "Donut Disaster" video when James recalls all the previous times Bad Luck Bootsy ruined their board games with his bad luck.
Board James narrates his games as if they were epic adventures, and not just a man moving figurines across a cardboard board.
In the Dragonstrike review James tells about how he used to get very excited with the introductory video because it presents the game as something seriously epic, then when the video ended, he turned around to actually start playing and discovered that everybody had left the room out of boredom.
Board James: ...And that's what happens.
In the Heroquest episode, Board James spends a considerable amount of time setting up the board as he explains the game mechanics, and after he dramatically reads the instructions for the first quest, Motherfucker Mike is so bored he asks to play another thing, much to James's annoyance.
In the Loopin' Louie episode, the music and the way the video was edited makes the game look really fun and dynamic. In the behind the scenes it seems like it could get a little tedious after a while.
Plot Coupon: Present in some of the adventure Board Games, but played for laughs in the Deadly Danger Dungeon episode.
Motherfucker Mike: I gotta get the key before the talisman and then I gotta go forward and then go back and then climb a ladder and then fuck in...
Poorly Disguised Pilot: The way Board James started. Board James first episode was only called "Board game review", and it was announced like the Nerd doing a review of the game Mouse Trap. Although the narrator appears to be dressed as the Nerd, his face is never on screen and he's not as angry as he usually is. Also, James Rolfe's wedding ring (which he never wears while playing the Nerd) can be seen in his left hand in some of the scenes, suggesting that it was implayed from the start that the reviewer was James Rolfe himself and not his Nerd persona.
The Prankster: One of the home-made games that appear in the Deadly Danger Dungeon episode is called "Mischief Night", and it's about a guy who plays pranks on his neighbors, the pranks went from throwing toilet paper in a yard to blocking someone's front door with bricks and cement.
Precision F-Strike: Bootsy's first two songs ("Tornado Rex" and "Donut Disaster") have one right at the very end.
Board James's breakdown in Shark Attack. Despite the character's tendency to swear often, this time it was strong enough to take Mike aback.
Prop Recycling: The caps that would later become Board James' trait can be seen in the Nerd's closet (the one in which he keeps the Atari he gives away to the kids) in the AVGN's Halloween episode of 2007.
Public Domain Soundtrack: The "Mouse Trap" review uses two classical pieces: "Blue Danube Waltz" and "Marriage of Figaro".
Rage Breaking Point: Board James always plays the nice guy who tolerates Bootsy's oddness and is oblivious to Mike's cheating, but even he had enough and cracked, reaching AVGN's levels of rage, after Bootsy took his Toy Shark to fuck it.
Board James: C'mon... really, guys? This is a really simple fucking game. Why can we just play a fucking board game? *Mike laughs* IT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY! Like this is the most dysfunctional group of friends I ever had! You're over there cheating. you're over there... making love with the damn shark! I'm bored, I wanna play a fucking board game... you're fucking pissing me off!! FUCK YOU, GUYS!! WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR GUYS FUCKING PROBLEM!!FUCK!!
Serious Business: The reviews about adventure games usually describe them as being really epic experiences.
Some of the games between Motherfucker Mike and Board James can get very intense.
The Dragonstrike VHS really talks about the game as a serious business.
Narrator: Feeling brave tonight? Brave enough to do battles with hideous monsters? (...) Brave enough to sneak around castles in the dark and chance being the next victim?
Board James: Wow, wow. I'm just trying to play a board game, I'm not looking for any trouble.
Something Only They Would Say: The person calling James on the Dream Phone challenges him to guess his name "if you've got the balls, and I know you've got the balls!". This leads James to suspect Mr. Bucket as the culprit, but upon finding Mr. Bucket still dead in the sink where James left him, it's revealed that the person on the phone (actually the phone itself) purposely invoked this trope just to mess with him.
Dream Phone: Come on! You can do better than that!
Special Guest: There was a whole array of them in the "Loupin' Louie" episode.
Spin-Off: Board James first episode was only called "Board game review" as part of the Nerd videos, but later Board James became its own character.
Though, not entirely related to Board James, there are the 'Motherfuckin Mondays', a review show with Motherfucker Mike as the lead.
Spiritual Successor: Of the AVGN. Board James is not near as ill-tempered and foul-mouthed as The Nerd, but some of his solo episodes are very reminiscent of the more informative episodes of the AVGN, like the Swordquest episode.
Stock Monsters: The characters of the Monster Madness game: the Mummy, the Werewolf, the Frankenstein's monster and Dracula.
Stuff Blowing Up: As Motherfucker Mike and Board James play Crossfire, random explosions start appearing around them, just like in the TV ad for the game.
The Calls Are Coming from Inside the House: In the Dream Phone episode, Board James is receiving calls from someone who appears to be able to see his every movement, even when he hides in the closet.
The Television Talks Back: Much to James surprise, the narrator in the Dragonstrike VHS can talk directly to him at some points.
Board James is a pretty normal guy, a kid at heart who collects a great variety of Board Games as a hobby, and reviews them. Sometimes Board James does his reviews alone, and from time to time he's joined by his friend: Motherfucker Mike, who is a bit of a cheater when it comes to playing the games. And when there's a place on the board for an extra player, there's Bad Luck Bootsy, an annoying but friendly guy who is prone to ruining the games and who causes nothing but trouble to James, Mike and himself.It started out as a Spin-Off of The Angry Video Game Nerd, but it's now its own series. It follows the same Mid-Review Sketch Show formula that the AVGN helped popularize, but features a much less ''enraged'' style of reviewing, often focusing on the good too. Despite sometimes being still referred as a Spin-Off of AVGN, there is no established connection between the two series.See also You Know What's Bullshit?, another Web Original starring James Rolfe.
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