Film: If Footmen Tire You What Will Horses Do
The loudspeaker spoke up and said, Christianity is stupid. Christianity is stupid. Communism is good. Communism is good. Give up. Give up.*
One beautiful morning, a young sexually-active woman named Judy stops by her local church, where the fire-and-brimstone preacher is delivering a sermon about the coming horrors of communism.
That's the Framing Device
for If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do?
, a 1971 Red Scare
film produced by Reverend Estus W. Pirkle, who also appears As Himself
in the role of Judy's preacher. Reverend Pirkle is here to warn us that America must abandon its sinful ways and turn back to God, or else it will be taken over by communists. The film's director is Ron Ormond, a man who could not be stranger bedfellows with Reverend Pirkle. The creator of Exploitation Films
like Mesa of Lost Women
and The Monster and the Stripper
, Ormond found religion after surviving a plane crash.
Thus, comes the unholy matrimony of fundamentalist preacher and Ed Wood
-style filmmaker. Throughout the resulting one-hour... experience, we're treated to Imagine Spots
which illustrate the horrors of 1970s American society, tell of Judy's various misdeeds, and hysterically warn of what America will be like under communist rule.
During the 1970s and 1980s, this film was circulated amongst the more fundamentalist churches in the Deep South
. Today, it's something of a Cult Classic
for different reasons