"It's so big...""The bigger the penis, the better the sex." This assumption is a staple of modern fiction when it comes to Sex Tropes. It's the reason why Compensating for Something is, by its very nature, an insult — everybody knows that a real man has a big penis (or at the very least, an average one). A heroic character, when his penis is mentioned (which isn't all that often, except by innuendo), will usually have a big one. Consequently, this is also the reason why villainous or loser characters are portrayed as having a small penis, or a small something else meant to represent a penis. It's a deficiency that makes them bad people, or at least not cool like the heroes are, and may be a key to their underlying motivation. By further extension, Good People Have Good Sex, to some degree because they're usually well-endowed. Expect many authors to give us the exact dimensions of this uberpenis, conjuring the mental image of a PoV-character either breaking out a measuring tape at a romantically inappropriate moment or somehow possessing their own finely-calibrated genitals. Unsurprisingly, most writers don't really think through the Real Life implications of a twelve-inch penis. First, regardless of personal preferences, if a guy's penis is too big for his partner's orifices then intercourse will be awkward, physically painful, or even outright impossible. Second, it assumes that intercourse is all there is to sex, thereby demonstrating certain failures of knowledge and imagination. Most women are unable to climax solely from vaginal stimulation and excessive length may prevent them from receiving the additional vulval and clitoral stimulation they need. Third, truly extraordinary size can make it difficult or even impossible to sustain erection due to blood-flow complications making any degree of performance impossible. Fourth, while size can matter to women, width benefits them more than length and both take a back seat to technique because female genitals have evolved to accept a reasonable range of "inputs." One size does indeed fit all, so long as the "all" knows what they are doing. Super Trope to Black Is Bigger in Bed. When a large penis has comedic value instead of sexual value, see Gag Penis. Contrast with Teeny Weenie, which is a penis which is smaller than the average, and often leads to mockery of the guy who has it because of this trope. The female equivalents for this trope are Buxom Is Better or Gag Boobs. Often related to IKEA Erotica and Raging Stiffie. When taken to extremes can become a case of Anatomically Impossible Sex, or alternately of Writers Cannot Do Math.
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- "Smilin' Bob" of Enzyte. Though the pill in question purports to be for erectile dysfunction rather than size, it's implied that "Bob" is rather well-endowed... presumably as a result of the pill in question. This actually got the company into legal trouble, as every implication in the ad (as they couldn't expressly say what it was for) pointed to this trope, running afoul of false advertising laws.
- There's a late-night infomercial for a penis-enlargement pill with "testimonials", and among them is a woman who calmly states that the biggest penis she has ever been with was "ten or eleven inches" like it was no big deal, acting pretty calm about the fact she most likely had sex with a small pony, a large dog, or a very abnormal man.
- "Over 88% of women say that size DOES matter. And the other 12% are lying."- Opening line from 'Extamax' commercial. It later uses the Empire State Building, and pictures labeled 'actual disappointment' and 'actual hopelessness'.
- Spam for penis-enlargement pills. Perhaps most notable, not to mention worrying, was the spammer who sent out e-mails with the subject line: "12 more inches ain't so bad, don't you think so?". 12 more inches?
- In this Diet Rite commercial, a football player who's naked with a towel wrapped around his neck immediately gets the attention of a female reporter when she enters the locker room to conduct interviews. Her eyes fixate on his body and she's clearly impressed by his package.
- There are quite a few crotch shots in this Jordache commercial.
Anime & Manga
- Roberto from Monster. If we are to believe the obese prostitute with whom he was having sex.
- Panty from Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt certainly believes this, but this trope is actually subverted when she tries to have sex with Brief after she regrows her hymen in the final episode — his size just makes it even more painful.
- Averted in Koibana Onsen, Shuuhei's large penis makes it even harder for him to get intimate with his girlfriend who has anxiety problems.
- Randel Oland from Pumpkin Scissors is implied to sport his very own biggus dickus thanks to his many hospital visits and a persistent nurse who just wants a urine sample from him. It kind of becomes an obsession for her and a horror for Randel himself.
- Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 9. "I prefer lovers with big, thick dorsal fins".
- Several characters in the Italian porn series Ramba. Deconstructed; it is shown as being painful to the women involved, and is sometimes used to deliberately torture them.
- In the Love and Rockets "Palomar" stories, Gato, who has been married to both Pipo and Guadalupe, has a huge one. Pipo has apparently become accustomed to it and doesn't think much of average-sized men. She dates Igor, of comparable size (Gato and Igor actually compare in a bathroom), and later has several sexual encounters with an unnamed, sleazy-looking character who dwarfs even Gato and Igor. She has no problem with his size in any opening. But then there's Fritzi, who has a fulfilling sex life with mostly average-sized men - ironically including Pipo's son Sergio - and is twice married to the "love of her life," Scott the Hog. He's described as having a barely functioning "choad."
- Killer Condom and To The Bones by Ralph König:
- Exaggerated, parodied and deconstructed: inspector Maccaroni sports a 40 cm thing. He's shown having a first time with a rentboy, who thinks he cannot handle it despite his profession. Maccaroni claims that "they all whine like that in the beginning, but in the end, they all love it". However, Maccaroni is unhappy because he feels that his lovers only love his penis and think they tend to forget that "there's a person hanging from it".
- Discussed: Maccaroni meets a similarly well-endowed porn actor, and they have a talk about how very large penises can be troublesome.
- Many authors with a favorite male character are likely to give them a large penis in adult fanfiction.
- A Crown of Stars: Played straight. According Asuka, Shinji's penis is nearly twice larger than Big Bad's and former Big Bad's. Moreover, the latter two abused her sexually, were pretty lousy in bed and made her feeling dirty, whereas Shinji made her feeling good, happy and special.
- Evangelion 303: Subverted. According Asuka, Shinji's size is pretty average. Their First Time went a pretty awkward deal because they had no idea what they were doing, and they started off with intercourse straightaway. Nonetheless, their lovemaking improved after a bit of "practice" and their sex life became very fulfilling.
- Actually averted in this fanfic. The author has actually had sex, so Reality Ensues. The story, A Pleasant Surprise, is simultaneously one of the sweetest and most realistic depictions of sex in fanfiction. It's explicitly stated that being too large is quite painful.
- Shows up again in another Kalash 93 story called "Relax." It's implied that not only does the protagonist not have a prodigious endowment, but that the sex is actually better for it. This is an example of Truth in Television. Average and somewhat smaller are actually the most ideal penis sizes because they can be easily and comfortably accommodated by women of varying sizes and equipment.
- The fanfic version of this trope, taken to its logical extreme. (The link doesn't go to the fic itself, just the fanfic-rants post about it. The fic itself, unfortunately, is lost.)
valorously: That's bigger than some children. IT COULD GET ON DISNEYLAND ATTRACTIONS BY ITSELF.
- Trevor "Hotshot" Cole of DC Nation had a brief stint as a porn actor. When this is discovered, his female teammates and their friends track down the film and make a movie night of it. Batwoman (Kathy Duquense from DCAU) is notably impressed at Trevor's "door prize from God".
- Actually played for drama in Misfiled Dreams, about how it being too big might not actually be pleasing for a woman, but rather painful.
- Averted in Trolling the League when Naruto can't get fully inside Poison Ivy because he's too big. While Naruto notes he's never had this problem with his wife Xanna, he also admits that she's a demoness (and later goddess) and thus fully capable of altering her anatomy at will.
- Downplayed in How I Learned to Love the Wild Horse where multiple women make clear that a bit above average is nice but there is such a thing as too big. Donna even states to Arnold (whose only experience with sex is watching hentai) that the odds a woman can take 9+ inches are about the same as the odds a man has that much: incredibly low.
- She also warns him against believing that a woman's cervix is an automatic orgasm button, and guys with large enough equipment should press it as often and as hard as possible.
- "If you think about using this baseball bat you call a —— like a battering ram, I'll rip it off and make you WATCH while I use it the right way!"
- She also warns him against believing that a woman's cervix is an automatic orgasm button, and guys with large enough equipment should press it as often and as hard as possible.
- This seems to have been a Running Gag with Madeline Kahn in Mel Brooks movies:
- In Blazing Saddles, the hero actually manages to convert Kahn's Lili Von Schtup (hired by the villain to seduce him) to the good guys purely by impressing her with his penis. An extended cut of the scene reveals she was sucking on his elbow.
- In Young Frankenstein, prudish Elizabeth finds her true love when The Monster rapes her... after it's revealed that he also has a monster penis.
- In History of the World Part I, Empress Nympho's selection of men for an orgy definitely works on this criterion.
Servant: You made some pretty big decisions!
- Inverted in A Chinese Torture Chamber Story, where it's also a plot point: Gott has such an impossibly large penis that no woman will have sex with him. He's also a very nice guy, so he refuses to force his arranged wife to take it. Eventually, the size of his genitals and what happens to them are the single most important plot point. This movie is weird.
- Inverted in Full Metal Jacket, where a Vietnamese hooker doesn't want to have sex with a black Marine, because she thinks that his penis is too big. He demonstrates that it isn't.
- Lady Snowblood averts this. When the blackmailer Genjiro reveals his gigantic penis, the reaction from Oyuki, the title character, is not adulation, but horror. Genjiro himself is aware of the implications of his large penis, noting that one that large will usually cause the receiving woman serious pain. (In the manga it was made clear that Oyuki was a lesbian.)
- Aversion: In the film Kinsey Alfred Kinsey and his wife have come to a doctor because they're having trouble consummating their marriage. The doctor explains that sometimes, if a woman with a thicker-than-usual hymen is matched with a well-endowed man, it can make sex tough. He holds out a (short, roughly 6") ruler and asks Kinsey's wife to point to the ruler, indicating how big the... member in question is. She hesitates, then points to a spot in the air TWO INCHES past the end of the ruler. The doctor just raises his eyebrows a bit and says, "I'm surprised you didn't pass out."
- The main character in The '70s film Welcome Home Brother Charles kills his enemies and pleasures their wives with his ridiculously large and prehensile penis. And of course, it's Blaxploitation.
- Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights. His very large penis is the main reason he got into the porn business. Dirk was based on the real-life porn star John Holmes, who was famous for the same reason.
- Discussed in the German movie Der Eisbär. The titular character worries a bit if he's "inadequate". A female friend of his ex tells him that it's not length that matters, but girth. He shares that information with others later.
- In Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood, this is how Ashtray misinterprets Dashiki's comment that he can't live up to his "responsibilities".
Dashiki: Oh, so you're man enough to come up in me, but you ain't man enough to take care of what comes out, get my nails done, pay my rent, and get me a new car? You know what? You ain't nothing but a little boy.Ashtray: Ain't all about the size of the boat! It's the motion in the ocean.Dashiki: ...That's not what I'm talking about.
- In Legally Blonde, a woman named Brooke is accused of murdering her (considerably older) husband for his vast wealth. Brooke herself points out that she was already superrich before she and her husband got married, so it's not like she actually needed his money—Brooke also makes it very clear that her husband had much more interesting qualities about himself besides his money. Three guesses as to what those "qualities" are.
- Showdown in Little Tokyo. According to Murata, Kenner has "the biggest dick I've ever seen," said with a complimentary tone. Unsurprisingly, he's portrayed as a sexual dynamo.
- Scoonie from Neighbors. Plus a bit of Gag Penis.
- The first extended piece of dialogue from Reservoir Dogs is Mr. Brown's forceful theory on how Madonna's "Like a Virgin" must be about this.
- Discussed while the titular witches in The Witches of Eastwick are planning their "perfect man." One says he should be "huge," while another disagrees because her ex was well-endowed and nearly ripped her in half. The result: a portly, middle-aged Jack Nicholson.
- Caddyshack: In this scene at the pool, Lacey Underall sees Tony D'Annunzio in a speedo, admires his bare torso and she's impressed by his package. She's also impressed by Danny Noonan's bulge.
- Hillary literally does break out a measuring tape when she reunites with a former lover in Top Secret!, and is shown staring at it wide-eyed while holding it in a way that implies a spectacular result.
- Burglar (1987). Whoopi Goldberg's character has to hide in the closet while burglarizing an apartment, because The Casanova who owns it has come home unexpectedly with a woman whom he makes enthusiastic love to. Afterwards he opens the closet while stark-naked. He doesn't see Whoopi who, judging by her Jaw Drop, is impressed by what she sees.
- The Italian sex comedy Exploits of a Young Don Juan features a scene where the titular teenage character first undresses to have sex with his maid. Not only is she visibly shocked once he takes off his underwear to reveal his arousal he pivots to close the nearby door but a sudden wind is generated by his simple turning enough to close the heavy wooden door immediately without touching it, implying his erection is acting like a rudder.
- The Kids Are All Right: When the lesbian Jules finds herself inexplicably making out with the male Paul they make their way to the bed where she finally pulls down his underwear only to offer an astonished "Whoa... Hello!!!" They proceed to have amazing sex afterwards.
- In Absolutely Anything one of Neil's first wishes is for a really big dick. He's given one that's so big he can't stand up.
- The Adam Sandler remake of The Longest Yard has a rare non-sexual version. When trying to recruit one of the more muscular prisoners, portrayed by Goldberg, to his team in the showers, Sandler is trying to sell him on the virtues of being able to inflict pain on the guards.
Crewe: Yeah, either that you can hit him over the head with that hammer.Joey Battle: I wanna hurt him, not kill him.Caretaker: Lets get outta here before that thing bites someone!
- Towards the end of the 1999 remake of Gloria, the eponymous gangster's moll forces a group of Mob guys to strip at gunpoint so she can make her escape. One of the more unassuming members of the crew turns out to have hidden talents, eliciting an appreciative "Mikey! Who knew?" from Sharon Stone's character.
- Outrageous Fortune. The two female protagonists realise the charred corpse of their lover in the morgue isn't him because his penis isn't big enough. Unfortunately telling the investigating officer this just gets them thrown out of the police station.
- Played with in A Brother's Price. At the beginning of the novel, his sister tells Jerin to make himself trousers with a codpiece to let potential wives know "what they're buying". However, no woman who actually gets to see him naked, and might be sexually interested in him, makes any comments on his size. They all seem to be much more interested in his pretty face and, in once instance, sperm quality. Also, his primary talent is in using his mouth and hands, which Ren describes as "magiclike".
- Despite his short stature, this is Owen's deal in A Prayer for Owen Meany according to Hester.
- This is standard procedure for romance novel heroes.
- Averted with sex blogger Abby Lee in her memoir Girl With A One Track Mind. Abby has lovers of different penis sizes and doesn't believe it makes a difference to the quality of the sex.
- Played seriously in Harlan Ellison's short story "I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream", in which one of the main characters, Benny (a formerly gay and very handsome scientist), is transformed by AM into a apelike creature with horse-like genitalia. This may be Values Dissonance and/or Unfortunate Implications in action, as gay men can be as fond of this trope as straights (see, for example, the work of Tom of Finland); Ellison implies that AM made Benny ugly and partially retarded because he was handsome and smart, and that making him over-endowed was to make him appealing to the one woman trapped in AM.
- John Varley:
- After her first session with a new love interest (actually a previous love interest who'd been a woman when the main character was a man), the heroine of Steel Beach specifically references this trope when she bitches at length about the tendency of first time Female-to-Male gender benders to check off the "HUNG" option even though they'd just been girls themselves and really ought to know better.
- Also averted in Varley's Titan series, when a woman from a monogender Lady Land informs her first male lover in all seriousness that she's very happy his penis isn't too big — she was raised to believe men constantly rape women (often to death) with enormous penises. The first time she sees one, she actually giggles, because she can't believe that's what she's been warned about. He takes it as a compliment anyway.
- She also discovers early on that the Titanides' rear penises do match the horror stories (think horse) but intimate relationships between humans and Titanides do happen because the centaur-like Titanides are an artificial species deliberately engineered to also have human-scale genitals between their front legs .
- In the Anita Blake series, the titular character has a small harem of increasingly well-endowed lovers, culminating finally in Micah, whose penis is so large it actually becomes a plot point. Also shows up in the author's other series, Merry Gentry. In both, Serial Escalation results in characters who are proportioned like fire extinguishers.
- In David Drake's Cross the Stars, Don "Mad Dog" Slade dismisses the notion that a large penis equals sexual prowess ("It's not the size of the tool, it's the skill of the workman") but not until after the author mentions that his army buddies briefly called him "Tripod" before an earlier nickname reasserted itself. Drake is actually asserting this trope under the guise of dismissing it.
- Deconstructed, and the deconstruction exaggerated, in the Earth's Children series. Jondalar, the male lead, is so well-endowed that he's never met a woman who can take his full length. He's developed Sex God-level foreplay skills partially as a compensation mechanism, but the end result is that he always has to hold back for fear of inflicting pain on his partner. When he meets the female lead, Ayla, he finds out that she has sufficient, y'know, endowment to receive his full endowment; this is supposedly one of the things that mark them as soul mates. (Never mind that those who'd read the first book, Clan of The Cave Bear, know there's probably a not-so-wonderful reason Ayla can take him without complaint.) Though it (probably) sucks to be him, his ongoing wangsting about the issue—combined with the fact that, once he and Ayla hook up, it's almost never brought up again—earned him the derogatory nicknames "Jondalar The Wonder Penis" and "Dongalar."
- Mario Puzo takes a rather large detour from describing the Corleone family saga in The Godfather to describe Sonny's large penis. The moment makes it into the movie as well if you're looking for it during the wedding scene - watch his wife's hand gestures carefully. However, this is one of the few realistic examples: His wife complains how painful sex is, and Sonny's mistress Lucy has an enlarged vagina. Lucy needs vaginal reduction surgery later on, in order to have good sex with lesser men than Sonny.
- There is an Arabian Nights-inspired story in which two illicit lovers earn a single wish each at the story's beginning. The hero uses his one wish for the obvious type of self-improvement, allowing him to better please his lover: a genie's human betrothed. When the genie and her father come to kill her lover, the bride-to-be uses a magical bag to reduce the hero's penis to near-microscopic size. Seeing this, the genie is so humiliated to have lost his bride to such a poorly-endowed man that he departs in shame. Disgusted, the father disowns his daughter, leaving her to whatever feeble pleasure she might gain from wedding the ill-equipped hero... not realizing that she has one wish left.
- In one of Pu Songling's fairy tales, the protagonist is too well endowed for any (human) woman to handle safely. So then a Kitsune tries to seduce him, he is overjoyed. Alas, he proves too big even for the shapeshifting fox, and the narrator quips about how chasing away werefoxes could become his profession.
- Mocked in one of the Deathlands novels; Doc Tanner's sometime girlfriend Lori runs off and has an affair with a local bad boy. She then returns to the group, complaining that his big dick came with a small brain. Ryan dryly remarks that he "hears that's often the way".
- In the Red Dwarf novel Better Than Life, in the Better Than Life simulation, Rimmer tries to invoke this trope by acquiring artificial bodies with bigger and bigger penises, to the point where they approach Gag Penis levels. Unfortunately, instead of improving his sex life, it simply reveal Rimmer's huge insecurities, a point he is forced to confront himself over when he sees Lister's humble but happy life.
- There is a Russian poem (traditionally attributed to Ivan Barkov, although the only thing experts agree upon is that it's not the case) called "Luka Mudischev". It is a story about a widow who looked for a really big dick, and found a 35 cm one attached to the eponymous guy (his last name meaning something akin to "Big Balls")... Let's just say that the end is TRULY ghastly.
- In The Hellfire Club by Peter Straub, the villain Serial Killer Dick Dart is repeatedly stated to have this. He's awfully proud of it, too, saying that his name was rather appropriate. He claims that women are crazy about him because of it, and he's shown to get very frustrated when he can't make Nora climax.
- In John Ringo's There will be Dragons, a small (4'1'') elf says she used to be married to a yeti. When asked why, she says, "Think about how big his hands are. Now think lower." The stunned audience goes, "Wha ... how... ?" and she replies "Everyone's the same height lying down."
- Two of Tom Reamy's works of fiction (a short story and a novel) featured women raped to death (torn apart) by ridiculously well-endowed humanoid monsters (a demon and a minotaur). In one, the investigating detective measures out some massive amount of seminal fluid during the autopsy. Tom wrote well but he may have had issues of some sort.
- In One Hundred Years of Solitude Aureliano Babilonia is well endowed. With him, sometimes the trope's Played for Laughs (like when he gets drunk with his friends and uses his wang for tricks), sometimes averted (his sex scene with his friend Nigromanta, in which his size scared her at first), and sometimes played straight (his sex life with his unknown aunt Amaranta Ursula).
- José Arcadio was also very well endowed, to the point that it is the reason why he runs off with the gypsies.
- Deconstructed in one of the Montgomery Chronicles books by Jude Deveraux: a minor character has a huge penis, but has a lousy sex life because not even the most experienced professionals will want to risk themselves handling that. Being given for him to rape is used as a sadistic threat against the female protagonist.
- Subverted in Fool by Christopher Moore. The main character's apprentice, Drool, sports a Gag Penis. Several women comment that they wouldn't shag him even if he wasn't mentally retarded, as they wouldn't be able to sit down for a week. The only woman who can ride Drool without any problems is a ghost. On the other hand, Drool, despite being dangerously retarded, IS considered great in bed when a woman finally lays with him. The ghost (who rode him and did all the work) spends most of the book chasing Drool, and the two women tricked into sex with him love it, even if they are sore afterwards. So it's more a Double Subversion.
- Deconstructed in Graham Swift's Waterland. One character's too big for sex.
- Mentioned in the Men at Arms, about dwarves. It's never confirmed whether it's true or not and the only (nonhuman) dwarf that asks about it keeps mistaking it for being well endowed with money.
- Deconstructed in the 13th century Brennu-Njáls saga. Although this is bowdlerised in some translations, the exact nature of the curse that the Norwegian Queen Mother places on Hrútr Herjólfsson is that he becomes so large when sexually aroused that it is impossible for him to have intercourse with his wife. This ends in a divorce.
- The subject of Robert Burns' "Nine Inch Will Please A Lady."
- Zigzagged in It; during the sewer sex scene, Beverly finds that Ben is the most well-equipped of the Losers Club. It's very painful for her at first, but he also gives her her first orgasm.
- A rare villainous (protagonist) example from L. Ron Hubbard's Mission Earth: after some extreme nonconsensual BDSM torture sessions, alien spy Soltan Gris is given enhanced equipment by a well-meaning but perverted doctor. When he goes back and rapes the women who abused him so, his oversized penis not only makes them forgive him and beg for more sex afterward, it also cures them of their lesbianism (since of course they couldn't properly enjoy sex without a man's involvement), and leads them to invite all their lesbian friends to be cured by his penis. The author also takes the trope further by emphasizing how not only does Gris' new size make sex better, but also the volume of his ejaculate.
- Played for Laughs in the Malazan Book of the Fallen. All the amazonian women want Ublala for his physical assets, but poor Ublala just can't deal with them not giving him any emotional support in return, so he runs away.
- And then averted with Karsa Orlong and Samar Dev. The former is, admittedly, from what passes as a race of giants in the series, and the latter a normal human woman, so Karsa is quite aware of the.. impracticalities.
- As part of their Mary Sue qualities, the male heroes of the works of Gary Jennings tend to be well-endowed, in particular Mixtli and Marco Polo.
- The male protagonists of the Immortals After Dark series by Kresley Cole personify this trait. All sixteen (so far) of them, without exception. Experienced female protagonists, even those over two thousand years old, will note their partner as being the largest they've ever had. Except for sometimes requiring some judicious preparation for the women to receive them, there's never any real problem making them fit. Nobody outright says that it's because of their giant cocks, but they inevitably blow the women's minds in bed, even with just intercourse.
- In the 1001 Arabian Nights, Shahryar's wife is unfaithful because she's completely addicted to her slave who has a huge member.
- The Japanese fairy tale "Aji Marapainu" note plays it for drama and realism. The aji (nobleman) can call himself lucky that he has a load of servants carrying his giant mara behind him on a wheelbarrow, but practical life is a painu in the assu for him. Things get worse when a woman with a giant hoto (do you need a translation?) hears of him and wants to become his wife. He refuses to have sex (maybe not enough blood?) and the woman stalks him, leading to both drowning in a tragic accident.
- Discussed in David Gemmell's Hero in the Shadows. In a scene that would be utterly hilarious if it didn't end with her death, a female supporting character — drunk and unaware of the Big Bad's secret identity — treats him to a brain-burningly candid discussion of the relative endowments of two of the heroes, eventually concluding that length, girth and technique are all similarly important. It would be nice to think that the trauma this conversation caused him contributed, in some small way, to his eventual defeat.
- Author Sidney Sheldon loved to use this with either his good or bad male characters, but true to form, consensual sex was always good, whereas rape was even more painful and traumatizing.
- Averted in Jacqueline Carey's Kushiel's Legacy series. Despite all the sex scenes, the actual size of penises is never commented upon, nor is it implied that good lovers have bigger ones or less-masculine men are less endowed. Possibly, what with all the sex they have and the openness with which they go about it, D'Angelines know this trope is a myth.
- Regardless of the other merits of Gordon Merrick's novels, many people remember him for his emphasis on handsome, hung characters.
- Wee Davie and Curtis in Irvine Welsh's Skagboys and Porno, respectively.
- Coupling's Patrick Maitlan had a sex toy molded after him coming in at about ten inches.
Jeff: Even that bit?
Patrick: Especially that bit.
- Sex and the City:
- Subverted in an episode where Samantha hooks up with a guy who warns her that he has an enormous penis. She is excited at first... until she sees it. When they do have sex, it turns out that it's too huge for her to take.
- In another, she meets a man who is the model for the second-most successful sex toy in the United States (#1 in Canada). It turns out that he's tired of women only seeing him as a walking penis, and tries to impress her with his poetry. She's not interested in his poetry.
- Played straight in another, when she is in a steady relationship with a guy whose "equipment" isn't up to her standards, so the relationship ends up being very chaste. She tells her friends both of them have reached an unspoken agreement: he doesn't complain about the lack of sex, and she doesn't mention his below-average penis. Naturally, this turns out not to be the case. He takes her to a couple's counselor, where Samantha finally spits out her problem with him. The guy gets offended and leaves, while she just shrugs.
- In an episode of Rome, Atia sends Servilia the gift of a slave with a gigantic dick. Yes, we see all of it.
Atia: A large penis is always welcome.
- The MTV series The Hard Times of RJ Berger focuses on the class punching bag. One day, he gets pantsed during an assembly, and his underwear falls down in the process, granting the whole school an eyeful of his large dick. Suddenly, his social life changes radically.
- Averted in the J-drama Trick. Physics professor Jiro Ueda's oversized penis is frequently commented on, and although it once impressed another man, when it comes to women, it renders Ueda a virginal loser and the butt of jokes.
- The fundamental premise of Hung is that the main character, being, well, hung (and thus being well hung), can get work as a high-class gigolo.
- On Friends, Rachel finds Chandler naked and handcuffed in her boss' office, although the audience sees him in tighty whities. In any event, she needs him to stay there so her boss won't know she broke in. She bribes him by promising to be complementary in her description, making him a legend and "this generation's Milton Berle." The legend lasts all of two hours.
- Luckily for Chandler, when he and Monica get together she's genuinely impressed, nicknaming him "Mr Big" and certainly doing something with a tape measure. Previously it was implied Chandler was average in that department, meaning he may not be the biggest but clearly the size that pleased Monica.
- In a sketch of the Saturday Night Live episode hosted by Susan Dey, she plays a judge in a courtroom scene where the defendant is supposedly well-endowed. Since this fact was important to the case, he is required to expose himself to the judge and jury. With the camera trained on Dey, the lawyers and the jury box, there is the sound of the defendant's fly being unzipped followed by the sound of his member hitting the table with a loud thump.
- Implied in an episode of My Wife and Kids. Jaye paints a picture of her husband Michael in the style of Michelangelo's David; when it's unveiled at the art gallery, a woman gasps "Lordy, how do you find time to paint?!"
- Rose from the The Golden Girls was taught that the difference between boys and girls by her mother showing her a bull on the farm, which gave her a false impression about men and a surprise on her wedding night.
Rose: Boy that bull would have been jealous.
- On Parks and Recreation we meet Jerry's wife Gayle...who is played by Christie Brinkley. Jerry isn't even close to being in her league. While personality really does go a long way (Jerry and Gayle are both really kind-hearted, wholesome Middle Americans), one gets the sense that Jerry's... skills... also help. After all, Chris (played by Rob Lowe), who met Gayle the previous season while dating their daughter (she takes after her mother), has this exchange at the Gergich Christmas party:
Ben: So Gayle and Jerry...Chris: I've thought about it a lot, there's no logical explanation.
Dr. Harris: That man has the largest penis I have ever seen. I don't even know if he has the mumps, forgot to check, I was distracted... by the largest penis I have ever seen.
- In one episode, Jerry goes to the doctor to get checked for mumps. The doctor has this to say afterwards:
- On Bones, in the Season 2 episode "Man in the Mansion," Brennan sleeps with Sully for the first time, and comes to work the next day looking VERY happy. It turns out that Sully's nickname 'Peanut' is in the grand tradition of nicknames like calling the big man Tiny... to the point where Sully doesn't even SHOWER with the other guys, presumably not to embarrass them.
Brennan: He's statistically outside the morphological norm.
- Hilariously deconstructed with an experimental 'penis enlargement spray' in an episode of the show Testies, the character's penis becomes so large that merely getting an erection causes him to pass out from hypovolemia and he has to get a transfusion to make love.
- In a third-season episode of How I Met Your Mother, Robin returns from a vacation in Argentina with a new boyfriend. Ted, who still has feelings for Robin, begins to feel jealous because Robin's new boyfriend is both handsome and charming. However, when Robin tells Ted that he's got a bigger penis than her new boyfriend, Ted is elated and immediately stops feeling inferior to the new guy.
- This becomes Hilarious in Hindsight given the guy who played the new boyfriend (Enrique Iglesias) repeatedly making comments about his lack of endowment years after that episode was aired.
- As a whole, the series plays this trope very realistically: Ted, Barney and Marshall are the ones worried about size more than any other aspect, having a inhumanly large dick is often on Barney's lies; although Marshall is mentioned to be indeed above average, Ted and Barney are implied to be average. Lily and Robin, though, are far more interested in other aspects such as strength, technique, traction, speed, duration and so on, to the point that Robin does not care about size, having even dated a guy with admittedly small dick, and they only broke up because he was not up to do something weird she liked - which even Barney and Ted admitted to feel uncomfortable with -; on Lily's side, Marshall's big size is not enough for her, as she states he lacks on other aspects, such as not being very adventurous and having no traction. Reality Ensues, women do tend to think about other aspects, a big dick alone does not mean a guy is good in bed or is able to satisfy her, if he does not know which spots to hit or does not have a good technique.
- In the Sirens (US) episode "Rachel McAdams Topless", when Manly Gay Hank sees Billy naked, he compliments Billy on his enormous penis (describing it as bigger than a horse's) and proceeds to hit on him.
- A later season episode of Just Shoot Me! reveals that series chew toy Finch, despite being short and scrawny, is apparently very well equipped. He just didnt realize it, because his short stature meant he spent his entire life avoiding any situation where public nudity would be required such as communal showers or locker rooms, and just assumed that any mentions from the women he dated was just what all women said to their hookups. His only exposure to dicks other than his own was apparently from porn, which made him think he was about average.
- Similar to the above example, Neil from Men at Work is revealed to be well endowed when a woman he hooks up with after his long time girlfriend dumps him refuses to have sex with him. At first the other guys think its because he's too small, until Neil mentions that he cant find condoms that fit. Turns out said girl was too intimidated and didnt think she'd be able to take it all in, and that his previous girlfriend took some time to get used to his size. The other guys immediatly designate him the new alpha male of the group.
- Parodied in an episode of Son of the Beach, where The Ahnold is shown to have a massive censor bar, while the main character whom everyone plays up as a magnificent male specimen despite being pasty and pudgy is shown to have a censorbar about the size of a french fry.
- In the first season of Ally McBeal, Ally and Renee attend a sculpting class featuring Glenn, a well-endowed model. Ally briefly dates him afterwards.
- In the Charlie's Angels episode "Toni's Boys", when Kris watches Arnie the male stripper rehearse, she gets excited upon seeing his junk.
- In this newscast, Wendy Rieger unwittingly reveals that she's a size queen and that 10 inches is her ideal penis size when she asks meteorologist Chuck Bell what 17 inches of snowfall looks like. (Notice how she measures 17 inches at the 40 second mark.):
Chuck: That looks like about 17 inches, right now.Wendy: That's about 7 inches too much.
- Game of Thrones:
Slaver: It would be a dwarf-sized cock!
- Tyrion Lannister boasts of this trope to a prostitute in his Establishing Character Moment as a Depraved Dwarf. This becomes a Brick Joke when it saves his life several season later, after a slaver decides to kill Tryion and sell his cock to a merchant because a dwarf penis is rumored to have magical powers. Tyrion quickly points out that the merchant will have no way of knowing the penis came from a dwarf if it wasn't still attached to him.
Tyrion: Guess again!
- Theon Greyjoy had a good reputation with women, supposedly because of his well-endowed part. That reputation would comeback to haunt him, once Ramsey Snow/Bolton captured and emasculated him in Season 3.
- Hodor's package is Osha-approved and shown to the audience.
- Subverted by Pod in Season 3. While discussing his status as a Sex God, Ros reports that he's not especially endowed.
- Odyssey 5. When Kurt Mendel shares a couple of escort girls with a synthetic human, he's annoyed when they ignore him after catching a look at the implied bigger 'equipment' of the synthetic.
- On Supernatural, this is revealed as the reason the demon Crowley ended up in Hell in the first place. Back when he was human, he sold his soul for a bigger penis.
Crowley: Just trying to hit double digits.
- Shasta McNasty: In this scene Scott, Dennis and Randy find out that Cindy Margolis' boyfriend has a large penis when he takes off his towel to join her in the shower.
- In this scene from the "Go Fish" episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy, Willow and Cordelia are shown staring at Xander's bulge when they see him coming out to the pool in a speedo and they're clearly impressed by his bulge.
- Averted in Lucifer. Despite being The Pornomancer, Lucifer states that he's of average size in terms of equipment.
- The Shannara Chronicles: Wil is apparently well-endowed, as Eretria comments "I'll never call you 'short tips' again" after they have sex.
- Legend of the Seeker: Captain Krimmel in "Mirror" is apparently "heavily armed", according to Gwyldor, the man who impersonates him with magic.
- How I Met Your Mother: When Ted is jealous of Robin's new guy, who seems better than him in every way.
Ted: Name one way I'm better than that guy.Robin: You're bigger.Ted: Don't patronize me, if anything he may even be a little taller.Robin: No, Ted. You're bigger.Ted: I win!
- In Mc Chris's album Dungeon Master of Ceremonies, there is a skit where this is lampshaded (so to speak). MC Chris learns that Jesus has a 4-foot penis, and asks if it hurts the women he has sex with. Jesus responds that he "magically extends their cervix up to about their chest area".
- Voltaire's "Worf's Revenge" to quote:
When the ladies see the beast I got between my thighs
They say "Perhaps today is a good day to die"
- Then, there's Rodney Carrington's song, "12 inch dick, a dozen roses and a pickup truck." The song is a man singing about the three things he has that are going to make his woman happy tonight.
- Amateur Transplants' "Titanic" subverts it:
Suddenly you panic, my dick is titanic, you know it won't fit, it's too long
You scream, you're sick, it's eight inches thick, and we try but it all goes so wrong...
- The appropriately named Ivor Biggun sings many songs about the attractiveness of men with large penises. "John Thomas Allcock" stands out by disclosing the dimensions of the member in question. The eponymous John is described as having a penis that measured 4 feet 6 inches flaccid and consequently being irresistible to women.
- Shirley Manson once said she believed, even suggesting to write a song called "Size Queen". But a few years later...
- Brazilian band Raimundos had a Squicky variant in the spoken intro of a song. ("She likes big scrotums because when it flips it fills the ass with dirt. Opa, peraí caceta!")
- The unrated version of the music video of Robin Thicke's song "Blurred Lines" features a topless blonde woman dancing in front of the words "Robin Thicke has a big dick". It's the most subtle thing in the video. Later, his wife (model Paula Patton) actually confirmed it.
- In Macklemore's Thrift Shop, we have this:
Walk up to the club, like, "What up I got a big cock!"
- Jon Lajoie's MC Vagina claims, as part of his Boastful Rap, that "[women] always have orgasms because my penis is so big/25 inches long and 12 inches thick."
- Alphaville’s ‘Big in Japan’ is about a male prostitute in Japan who’s debating whether he should leave his lifestyle, which is vapid but easy because he’s ‘big’ in Japan. (Yes, that’s what that song is about.)
- Pansy Division: Take a lucky guess what the song "Dick of Death" is about. I dare ya.
- Die Ärzte: "Ich bin reich" ("I Am Rich"). The singer is boasting that he is shamelessly rich, duh. At the end of the song he tops it by stating that even if he wouldn't be, he still got the looks, is super smart, and hung like John Holmes.
- K.T. Oslin expresses her admiration for a runner's bulge◊ in "Younger Men":
Woah, look over here
We got a cute little ol' runner to the right
Blue shorts, no shirt
Whoo! You're looking good darling
That's right, stay in shape
X-rays show some
- Subverted in her Break-Up Song "Come Next Monday". One reason why she's breaking up with the guy is that his penis is too big for her:
- Sara Evans sings about her partner's package in "As If" (Notice the crotch shots in the video.);
I love the way you wear those worn out blue jeans
Walkin' around in the big sunshine
- Ambiguous Gender: Faith Hill celebrates the speedo bulge◊ in "Sunshine And Summertime":
You'll see straw sombreros and T-top Camaros
And stereos blastin' in the parking lot
You'll see rock hard bodies and bikini hotties
And everybody's got it goin' on
And showin' what they got
- "The Penis Song" from The Sweetest Thing Soundtrack.
- "Peacock" by Katy Perry.
- "Monster" by Fred Schneider.
- "Nasty Girl" by Vanity:
I need 7 inches or more
Tonight I can no longer hold it
Get it up, get it up, I can't wait any more
- "Rock Lobster" by The B-52s:note
Boys in bikinis
Girls on surfboards
- Implied in "Toy Soldier" by Britney Spears:
- Elioe Le Storie Tese's "John Holmes", a wacky rendition of the famous porn star's career sung in the first person. Some versions of the song even have a very brief sample of one of his films inserted somewhere.
- Double Subverted in "Girls Lie Too" by Terri Clark:
Size don't matter anyway
Girls lie too
- Scott Steiner was well known for bragging about the size of his penis, and judging by all the women that followed him around, it did mean he was skilled in the sex department.
- Val Venis always bragged about his penis and his skills in bed, which seemed to be true given the amount of semi-naked women that he usually hanged out with. There was also the fact that his in-ring character was supposed to be a porn star.
- Perhaps the most sexually-explicit verse in The Bible is Ezekiel 23:20, which describes the prostitute Oholibah's bedroom antics:
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
- In Dungeons & Dragons' "Book of Erotic Fantasy" it is specifically averted. Your character's size has no impact at all on his sexual prowess. It also says a player can choose how big he is just like he can choose a character's eye color.
- In the free hentai RPG Big Breasts Small Waist, the bigger a male character's...equipment is, the higher his Appearance stat is, and the more SEXP his partner gets from an encounter with him.
- In the Broadway production of The Addams Family, Gomez tells Mal that the deed to his house was originally bestowed upon his ancestor Alphonse the Enormous by Queen Isabella of Spain for "services rendered". (When Mal asks what the "services" were, Gomez nervously repeats his ancestor's name and title a couple of times, and then says, "Do you want me to draw you a diagram?")
- Implied by the ghost of John Barrymore in ''I Hate Hamlet"
Andrew: "You padded yourself to play Hamlet?"Barrymore: "Un-necessarily".
- Satan implies this about himself in The Last Days of Judas Iscariot, discussing his considerable "presence."
- Discussed in Sid Meier’s Alpha Centauri. The quote for one of the technologies has Nwabudike Morgan saying "Gentlemen, forget what your courtesans have told you: size does matter!"
A handsome young Cyborg named Ace, / Wooed women at every base, / But once ladies glanced at / His special enhancement / They vanished with nary a trace.Barracks Graffiti, Sparta Command
- Also in a Dirty Limerick;
- In Fate/stay night, Rin actually freaks out when she sees Shirou naked. She was a virgin and extremely nervous (so was Shirou, for that matter); Saber and Sakura are admiring, but not shocked. Shiki, on the other hand, managed to impress even the relatively experienced Kohaku.
- Implied by Blackwall in Dragon Age: Inquisition's Trespasser DLC, after his suggestion when Sera wonders why dwarves feel the need to make their tunnels so tall is that they're Compensating for Something. Sera asks what that says about Blackwall's big sword.
- Blackwall: That's not compensation. That's a counterweight.
- Averted in two Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal where its pointed out that its really more of a male ego thing. One strip has a man use a genie to wish that the human penis is a muscle that can be increased with working out instead of just being a genetic lottery. The result? Birth rates plummet as men become obsessed with increasing their size and sexual intercourse becomes physically impossible. The second has a breakthrough in genetic engineering lead to men requesting that their sons be given increasingly large penises. This leads to a kind of genital arms race, as women demand that their daughters get bigger vaginas, to keep themselves from getting torn open. Eventually, mankind hits a genital Singularity where all humans are literally just walking genitals. However, due to lacking the means to operate the genetic engineering equipment, that generations children revert back to normal humans.
- In Boy Meets Boy, Mikhael's "freakishly large" penis is supposedly the main reason why his and Harley's sex life is so good, which in turn seems to be one major reason why their relationship is so good. It's really best not to over-analyze this comic.
- Averted in Cheer by Forview, a good-natured (and naturally NSFW) porn webcomic. If hand measurements are anything to go by, the boy is packing something like 8-10 inches. While the girls certainly enjoy themselves (and him), they do need to take care. The smaller girl is actually brought to tears by the discomfort until they find a way to negate the extra length, and even the bigger one needs him to be "super-gentle" with "the last inch".
- Deconstructed and played straight by Humon. In one of her stories there is a character who complains that his penis is so big that no one wants to be penetrated by him. The Lady tells him that he just needs to get with an expert. Then she calls her butler and asks for his opinion. The butler falls head over heels for the well-endowed man, mostly because of his ... size. (No worries, they are all a big, happy poly-relationship.)
- Kyle from Juvenile Diversion is well endowed, which leads to some very enjoyable times for Jenny.
- Peter of Peter Is the Wolf. Other than that one "feature", Peter is the runt of his pack; small for a human, let alone a werewolf. But he still keeps his girlfriend happy.
- Of course, first time said girlfriend saw his wolf-form equipment, after she had changed back from her much larger wolf form, was "You put that in me?"
- Jason from Something*Positive may be both a use and subversion of this trope. One one hand, he was extremely popular with the ladies prior to his marriage, but, on the other hand, the only woman we've actually seen reacting to it onscreen responded with an expression of terror and the words "Uh, Jason? Could you please put that big...thing back in your pants? It hurts my pelvis to look at it." We don't see the appendage in question, so you have to use your imagination.
- Richard of S.S.D.D was apparently named "Dick" for a very good reason; even Norman feels inadequate by comparison and he's heavily implied to be asexual! But then his girlfriend has an affair with a more modestly endowed guy because, to quote, "girls aren't hollow".
- Rory from Teahouse, the youngest, shortest and most expensive of the courtesans because of his virginity, turns out to have an enormous penis, which persuades Lord Reed to become his exclusive client, despite the cost.
- Vilga from The Cummoner appreciates a well-endowed male. She hasn't found anyone who's too big—yet.
- Parodied by one-shot character Chad - The Man With the Worlds Largest Penis in Bigger Than Cheeses. His equipment is so big, he requires a third pants leg, but according to him, its much more a curse than a blessing. Women just find him terrifying, and usually just run away screaming. His ex-girlfriend described having sex with him as "giving birth to a car in reverse". Men hate him and consider him a threat to their masculinity, leaving him with no friends either, and he eventually commits suicide.
- Candi has the title character drunkenly listing off what she likes about her current boyfriend, ending with "And he has a big penis!"
- Occurs in the Whateley Universe to many male Examplars, to the point that an in-universe sex manual about Power Perversion Potential specifically warns about the danger of hurting one's partners through the sheer size of one's organ.
- the character Phase's body was changed by his mutation to appear female, but his genitalia did not change, and in fact got BIGGER.
- Chad/Merry/Paige/Petra suffers from this, except that s/he has both sets of equipment.
- In the Gen 2 stories, Nick Brennan, Jr., a second-generation Horse Ani-Man who is also a mutant, gets some immediate attention the first time he visits the pool, in particular from one of the members in Venus, Inc. (the school's modeling club). She was so impressed by his equine proportions (even through a swimsuit) that she immediately lures him into a rendezvous. Apparently, she was quite please with the outcome, as the first thing she did after they parted was to post a glowing review of him on a hidden 'girls only' page of the school intranet.
- This trope causes much pain to Protectors of the Plot Continuum. See the Fan Fic section for a couple of examples of what they've had to combat.
- Occasionally pops up in Chakona Space, part of Garrek's popularity with vixens is suggested to be his "endowment". Leanna, being a genetically engineered (former) sex slave, is pretty large as well, no specifics but the only reason shi can look like a female is that hir penis is designed to retract into her pelvis. And speaking of genetically engineered sex slaves...
- Sites like Literotica have a real problem with writers submitting stories where men have bizarrely proportioned genitals. Like a penis ten inches long and eight inches wide.
- In an alternate reality where The Nostalgia Critic was never born, The Cinema Snob instead became the world's greatest male porn star. Apparently all of the Nostalgia Critic's mass went into the...uh...(not-so-)Little Snob? Add this to his voice, which spontaneously causes women to have orgasms, and it's no wonder how he got his acclaim.
- A great deal of transformation fetish stories involve people being able to "take" endowments that would be normally anatomically impossible, due to the virus/nanomachines/magic.
- One story, by Nequ, deconstructed this trope, where a guy takes a pill that was supposed to give him a horse's stamina, but instead gives him a horse's endowment. Not only does this nearly kill him due to not being physiologically prepared for the transformation, leading to him blacking out, but it kills the woman he was having sex with. He's clearly traumatized by the incident.
- Combined with Compensating for Something here in this CollegeHumor video, where three women are disgusted by a guy in a fancy sports car, because he has a small penis, but are aroused by the appearance of a guy in a very banged up car, thinking that the more banged-up the car, the bigger the guy's dick is.
- A running gag in Archer is that Cyril's is bigger than the titular super-spy's and leads to his "sex addiction." At one point, Cheryl and Pam hack into ISIS's health care records and find that Cyril was covered for a penis "ensmallment." After that, Pam hints there are 'a whole twelve reasons' why Lana is dating Cyril.
Lana: Not to mention your... other... qualities...Archer: Oh, so he just gets a pass? Like Milton Berle?Lana: Yuuuuuup!
- In the South Park episode "T.M.I.", the Colorado Surgeon General and Randy Marsh both propose equations for "adjusted penis length", with bigger being better. The trope is twisted a bit, since in both normal measurements and the "adjusted" ones, supposedly wimpy characters like Butters get top results.
- Woody Johnson and the convict Meathammer from Brickleberry. Meathammer is only stated but presumably true since the entire prison population agrees with him, while Woody is seen naked on several occasions, with his censor bar reaching his knees. Denzel as well, playing into a common humorous stereotype about African Americans.
- When Brian's ex-girlfriend returns with her new fiancee Derek in an episode of Family Guy, he quickly proves himself to be Brians superior in every single way, smarter, more handsome, kinder and richer. At one point, Brian resorts to following him into the bathroom to see if he has any "shortcomings". Judging by his response, he does not.
Brian: Oh come ON!!
- Rick and Morty Rick is shown to be quite well endowed based on the censors when he is naked in "Big Trouble in Little Sanchez". Co-creator and voice actor Justin Roiland says Rick's penis is the size of a three year old's arm.