"Not for anyone under the age of 17." Just in case the great big, black "M" didn't tip you off.
"It all started.... yesterday. What a day that was! It's what I call... a bad fur day."
— Conker, opening cutscene
Conker's Bad Fur Day is one of ten Nintendo 64 games released in 2001. Originally developed as a kiddy game under the name of ''Conker's Quest'' and later Twelve Tales: Conker 64, Rare's next game in the Conker series (following Conker's Pocket Tales, a kid-friendly Game Boy platformer) was heading to become another run-of-the-mill platform game. Apparently, Rare changed their mind during production, and instead set out to create a "controversial" game aimed at adults and older teens.Inspired by South Park, the then newly renamed Conker's Bad Fur Day promised to use scatological humour, sexual innuendo (some more subtle than others), cartoon violence, and excessive swearing. Originally thought to be an April Fools joke, the announcement turned out to be completely true.A few years later, after Rare was bought out by Microsoft, a remake of the game, Conker: Live and Reloaded, came out.A playthrough of the game with commentary from some of the developers can be viewed on YouTube.At E3 2014, Conker made a surprise appearance to promote Project Spark. However, there do not seem to be plans for a sequel. Instead, assets will be included to make your own sequel.
Alcohol Hic: When Conker tries to jump while he's drunk or hungover.
All Animals Are Dogs: The dinosaur Conker uses to defeat Buga the Knut, which Conker gets rid of by tricking it into playing fetch with a bone.
Conker: Ah. Good. Psychology, always works with these animals.
All Men Are Perverts: Conker himself. Even though he has a girlfriend, he can't stop himself from the instinctive Male Gaze whenever a hot lady is mentioned/seen. And one of his Idle Animations is reading a porn magazine.
Conker: (listening to Bee King complaining about his life) Well, yeh, anyway, I gotta go now.
Bee King: You're like the rest of them. I ain't gonna tell you about the big-breasted babe.
Conker: The big...what?
Bee King: Ah, I thought that might have got your attention.
All There in the Manual: In the N64 version, the only reference to Ze Professor's past as the Weasel King was in the Panther King's profile in the booklet, where it mentioned the Panther King chopped off his legs.
Anti-Hero: Conker. Despite his appearance as a cute, cartoon squirrel, Conker is really cold blooded. He always works for material gain, he never bats an eyelid when he has to kill to get what he wants, he's always willing to use people to get what he wants. Despite this he does have a conscience, and he certainly loves Berri.
Awful Truth: The game begins with the given impression that it's a ridiculous tale of how Conker became king and met a bunch of strange people. Which is true, but at the end of the story, it's revealed that the tale is just one big sob story of how Conker was used by a bunch of rude, obnoxious jerks, got involved in wars and heists, risked his life on multiple occasions, and witnessed his girlfriend get killed right before his eyes when up to that point, no one took Conker and Berri as being a serious couple with a solid and sound relationship. The worst part of all was that he had a chance to save her shortly thereafter, but botched it. All he wanted to do is go home after a bad hangover and forget it had ever happened, but in the end his life was ruined, and there was nothing he could do to get out of it. And to top it all off, if he hadn't gotten the habit of getting wasted damn near every night, none of this would've happened.
Back from the Dead: The Panther King in the Teddiz ending of Live and Reloaded's multiplayer campaign.
Badass Adorable: Conker, who in his previous appearances was just adorable, not badass.
Bleached Underpants: Inverted, as it was coming off of Conker's Pocket Tales on the Game Boy Color, which is an inoffensive and lighthearted game. Bad Fur Day was originally touted as Twelve Tales: Conker 64, which would have continued the style from Pocket Tales but obviously that was not meant to be (to the point that when the game was first hinted at by Electronic Gaming Monthly's April issue, it was perceived as that year's April Fools gag).
Bottomless Magazines: Many of the weapons in this game never have to be reloaded, and the ones that do have infinite ammo.
Bowdlerise: Inverted. The game was originally supposed to be for kids and have an innocent nature. Come the insults that Rare Ware was going to make another "kiddie" game like they always do from the media and fans, however, they decided to have a mature approach of the game instead and crank up the swearing, blood, subtext and sexual innuendos a whole lot.
Brass Balls: The boiler boss has a pair of literal brass balls. Polished to the N'th degree.
Conker: Oh no... A bourgeois big-bollocked boiler. That's all I need.
Breaking the Fourth Wall: All the time, but one line is really blatant. When you are trying to get into the Rock Solid Nighclub, you have to tell the the password, which is Fedelio. The guard asks how you know that, and Conker responds with: "Well, I know everything, I'm the king! Well, I will be. Didn't you see the prolouge?"
In an It's War mission where you have to escort Rodent, the screen starts getting shot.
One of Conker's Idle animations is of him drinking a soda can; sometimes when Conker kicks it to get rid of the soda can after he's finished, it will hit the screen and make the camera shake slightly off screen while making the sound of the impact.
Live & Reloaded added the effects of water, blood, and poo staining the screen during certain chapters.
Camp Gay: You encounter a cog named Carl in one level who is very angry and demanding. Turn him upside down, however, and he becomes Quentin. Quentin is incredibly pretentious, unbelievably gay, and quite possibly even a pedophile.
Cash Gate: Some characters ask Conker for a certain amount of money at key points of the game (namely $10 by Birdy, $1000 by two servants of the Panther King, and 2110 by a mysterious character hidden in a barrel). But whenever Conker gives away the money, some seconds later the money literally returns to him, so he ultimately manages to pass through the Cash Gates for free.
Carl: Either bring me my missing cogs, or f**k off!
Conker: You don't have to shout.
Carl: I'm deaf! Speak up or f**k off!
He won't even stop cussing at you after you helped him. Instead you get a, "Thanks f**khead. Now go on, f**k off wi' ya." If you keep standing in front of him and jump to his height, he will continuously yell "F**k off!"
The texture in the slime tunnel is the same one as inside the Great Mighty Poo's lair.
Besides a few exceptions, swimming in poo and swimming in water is only different in what color the remaining fluid dripping from Conker's body are when he gets out and the color of the splashes he makes jumping in.
Crapsaccharine World: The whole game pretty much takes place in one. There's a swarm of evil wasps flying around, a weasel mafia running wild, a corrupt king with untrained guards, a completely unguarded Federal Reserve Bank, a fairly dysfunctional military, a war, and the list continues.
The Cutie: Rodent may be one of the, if not the, only character who isn't remotely malicious or selfish in any way.
Cutscene: Cutscenes can't be skipped the first time you see them. The earliest ones are tutorials on how to use basic items.
Darker and Edgier: Compared both to Pocket Tales, and to Rare's other games before this was made.
Dead Character Walking: If using an infinite health cheat code in multiplayer, the character will remain alive no matter how many hits they take. If, however, they take a hit that should kill them, but thanks to the cheat code, doesn't, which includes many a one-hit kill strike like a run-in with a chainsaw or a headshot by either a knife or a gun, the character will still go through their death animation as well as lose the weapon they had, but they'll be brought back to life, albeit missing bits and pieces of their body depending on how severe an attack it was. They will also still be able to take even more damage and similar normally-one-hit-kills unfazed even after missing most of their body parts. The only thing that can kill a character even with the code on is when they are hit by something that'll make them explode, including a strike from a grenade launcher, a bomb, or falling an incredibly high height (also if you cheat further, a few characters can't be killed even with this, or maimed otherwise for that matter).
Berri, to a somewhat ludicrous level. She gets mowed down for 20 seconds with a tommy gun, then sucked out into deep space. The Panther King also counts to this, first getting killed by the Xenomorph hatching, then getting sucked out as well.
The zombies after you shoot them in the head.
Deceptive Disciple: Professor Von Kripelspac when he betrays the Panther King by hatching an alien in his stomach to defeat Conker.
Franky the Pitchfork, who is encouraged to kill himself by the paint pot. He fails because he doesn't have a neck of any description.
The original ending was going to have Conker shoot himself during the bar scene after the credits, but the creators decided they wanted to eventually do a sequel. Ironically, the developers stated that Conker would have been killed in the opening of the sequel, and the main game focusing on the Tediz and Army Squirrel War instead.
Electric Torture: Conker finds a squirrel strapped to an electric chair when he invades the Tediz base. He tries to free him by pulling a switch, but inevitably, that only turns the chair on, zapping the squirrel nearly to death. Though terribly charred, he's "not quite dead." Also, there's two switches...but they both electrocute the squirrel. Anyway, after one of them is used, the other will open the door to leave the area, no matter which you picked.
Empty Room Psych: The windmill on top of the tall hill in the center of the overworld. It visibly has paths on higher levels, but gets fragged after the war level. Conker was sure it was going to be the last level. The windmill was intended to be a building you could go into when the game was still the kid friendly Conker's Quest/Twelve Tales Conker 64; you could open it and go inside, as seen in this video. As for what purpose going in there served, it's pretty much a mystery by now. Another one is the slightly destroyed stone and brick building structure near where you rescue Rodent in the War Chapter.
Enfant Terrible: A scared little girl is in need of Conker's help during the War chapter. Too bad she's an evil psychopathic demon who controls a giant, cybernetic, destructive Tediz experiment. The weird thing is that she looks like a hand puppet when sitting on the Experiment's hand. No kidding.
Foreshadowing: While the music that plays in the introduction has been associated with A Clockwork Orange, it was originally written for a funeral procession for Britain's Queen Mary II. Considering that Berri would have likely been Conker's queen at the end had she lived, the context in which the music was used suddenly takes on an appropriately grim tone for players familiar with the piece's origin.
For the Evulz: Pretty much the only reason the Panther King had Berri killed.
Frying Pan of Doom: Conker's standard weapon for most of the game. Subverted in Live & Reloaded, where you use the frying pan only in the tutorial level, but Conker switches it immediately after the encounter with the Gargoyle for a baseball bat.
They don't get "fuck" past the radar, though. It is the only word censored consistently throughout the game.
Averted with the Xbox remake Conker: Live and Reloaded; all swears are censored, making the game tamer than the original. Playing online in Live and Reloaded allowed players to unlock the swearing in the multiplayer, including fuck.
Giant Mook: Three bosses: Haybot to the living haystacks, Buga the Knut to the cavemen, and the Experiment to the Tediz.
Giftedly Bad: This hilariously dumb line of dialogue from the paint pot in the Barn.
Paint Pot: "I've seen some kicking ass in my time, but that is the shittest, crappest, crappiest, shittiest, kick ass I've ever seen."
Half-Dressed Cartoon Animal: Conker himself, who doesn't wear pants. This is made very weird in the mission where he must piss on fiery demons, as we hear a zipping sound, but he has no pants of which to unzip. The pantsless issue is averted in the Xbox remake, in which he actually does wear pants.
Hand Cannon: Not only is it as big as your arm and one shot kill anywhere, it also has a zooming scope and laser sight. Perfect for Scrubs of all ages! If you see that laser sight, you have one second before your head disappears.
Have a Nice Death/It's a Wonderful Failure: There are a few different Game Over sequences depending how Conker died on his last life. From being captured, gagged, and used as a replacement table leg as intended, to being listed as missing on a milk carton, to being delivered to the Panther King as a bag full of splattered squirrel bits...
Head-Tiltingly Kinky: Mr. King Bee "pollinating" the big breasted sunflower. The look on Conker's face says it all.
Most of the people Conker meets, most notably Carl, an unsociable, foul-tempered, foul-mouthed cog with a sour attitude.
Carl: Either bring me back me missin' cogs, or F*** OFF!
Conker(annoyed): You don't have to shout.
Carl: I'm deaf! Speak up or f*** off!
There's also Conker himself, though he does show a few acts of kindness. They're few and far between though, such as shutting up the Paintbrush and Paint Pot laughing at him and Franky the Pitchfork, as well as fixing Franky up after he gets broken in two and having that be one of the (very) few good deeds Conker does without asking for the person he's helping (in this case Franky) for anything in return for helping them, and possibly the part where he rescues Rodent from a group of Tediz a little ways into the War chapter that were going to kill him.
Logo Joke: Conker cuts the N64 logo in half with a chainsaw, and replaces it with a shiny Rare logo which he seems to prefer.
Lonely at the Top: Inverted. At the end, Conker's adored by most of the cast he assisted throughout the game, but he hates all of them, and the one person he loves the most is dead.
Ludicrous Gibs: Pretty much most of the gun sequences and multiplayer modes deaths are gib-tastic.
Man of a Thousand Voices: Chris Seavor voiced every male character except the Great Mighty Poo, and even a few of the female ones. Louise Ridgeway voiced the rest of the female cast.
The Man They Couldn't Hang: Franky the Pitchfork is Driven to Suicide by his heckling companions, the paint pot and the paint brush, after failing to kick Conker's ass. When he decides to hang himself, he fails because he "does not appear to have a neck of any description", and remains stuck hanging from the barnyard ceiling until Conker cuts him down.
The Many Deaths of You: Subverted. There are many ways you can die that may not mean much (besides different animations Conker has), but depending on how you die on your last life, you'll trigger different cutscenes as far as what happens between the guard weasels delivering Conker and the Panther King, including Conker being missing and advertised on a milk carton (common), being tied up (alive) as a replacement desk (if Conker runs out of energy), being delivered in pieces in a sack (if Conker was chopped, exploded or otherwise in pieces), delivered in a smoking sack (if burned to death), or being delivered in a wet sack (if he died on the surface of the water or in it, regardless of how he died.)
Man Behind the Man: It really seems to be the Weasel professor rather then the Panther King that calls the shots for the Panther Kingdom.
Mature Animal Story: While the game is a comedy with talking animals, none of it is meant to be kid-friendly.
Medium Awareness: Very much so. An example coming from the X-Box remake is when Conker notices the first subtle differences from the N64 version and remarks that he thought the programmer told him it was going to be a straight port.
Also present in the N64 version during the "Haybot" chapter. Before the boss fight, Conker says, "I don't like the sound of that music" and Franky agrees.
Mercy Invincibility: More noticeable in a part of It's War where you have to blow up submarines that are constantly firing homing missiles at you. Sometimes, there are two subs at a time, and they fire one immediately after the other in a way that, even if the first missile chips off your chocolate health while you're taking aim, the second one will do you nothing assuming that you are still in your recovery time, even though it'll come dead-on down on you.
Mickey Mousing: The entire fight with The Great Mighty Poo is scripted to coincide with his absurd opera song. You defeat him by throwing stuff in his exposed mouth when he opens it to sing harmony with the BGM. A common Player Tic is to wait until just the right moment in the BGM to throw the toilet paper into his mouth.
Money for Nothing: All the piles of cash you collect in game can't actually be spent on anything (whenever you make an investment, money literally returns to you), and it's never explained why you're getting them other than "money is good". It does serve a purpose to allow progress through the game, but the actual points this happens are quite rare compared to the usual game that has a similar "object collecting" formula.
Mood Whiplash: After a relatively lighthearted - if incredibly raunchy - first half, the final leg of the game becomes increasingly depressing, finally culminating in a Downer Ending - which still worked quite well, but was decidedly jarring. There IS a reason for the Tear Jerker tab.
The ending's made all the worse when you consider this is a game inspired by South Park. That's fatal Mood Whiplash.
How about the whole game in general? The first Conker game for the Game Boy Colour was a kid-friendly Puzzle/Adventure game.
Mooning: Conker gets mooned by cavemen twice: first by the muggers on the hoverboards, and then by the soldiers in the arena (though only in the N64 version).
Our Vampires Are Different: Count Batula, who not only has the power to turn into a bat, but turns Conker into one as well. And instead of being killed by a stake or sunlight, he's killed by drinking too much blood, growing fat, and falling into his own grinder.
Overly Long Gag: The electric chair scene was turned into this in Live & Reloaded, as is Berri being shot.
Oxygen Meter: Takes the form of Conker's face (with a stream of bubbles coming out) once you can swim underwater. When the stream of bubbles gets short and his face starts turning blue, you'd better get to the surface right now. Once his head droops, you go from full health to dead in about five seconds. Here's a video of the oxygen meter in action on Youtube.
The Parody: Much of the latter half of the game is based off of this.
Self-Deprecation: In the Bats chapter, two of the flammable enemies will jump into The Boiler so they can defeat you with it. When they boot him up, he will begin speaking as a living person. The enemies begin arguing about controlling the The Boiler, and he calms them with "Gentlemen, do calm down!" One of the enemies' response is: "He sounds kind of pouncey. Like some English person." Keep in mind that Rare is a British gaming company.
Sudden Downer Ending: Conker kills the Xenomorph ripoff and becomes king, but Berri remains dead. Aside from this, Conkers royalty means absolutely nothing as he's surrounded by people he despises and his kingdom is full of morons. Conker turns to liquor to help, but it fails to, cementing that Conker literally now has nothing- no love, no future and nothing to dull the pain. As he becomes drunk, Conker wanders off, this time in the opposite direction.
Sunglasses at Night: Conker wears them in the Heist chapter. (And they look pretty freakin' awesome!)
After his boisterous claims of having the biggest bone. But he probably meant this literally, considering his weapon is a literal bone.
Tiny Guy, Huge Girl: Conker seems to have a thing for taller women, given that he stands maybe up to his girlfriend Berri's kneecaps. But it truly becomes Huge Girl Tiny Guy when he meets Jugga, an enormous cavewoman. However, it doesn't work out between them.
Video Game Remake: By the time the Xbox remake was released, much of the parody was decidedly out of date, and the profanity was mostly censored - which is odd, considering the Mature rating and the fact that the uncensored track could be unlocked by playing through the game once. The game's multiplayer was also changed to be decidedly less, shall we say, good.
To put in perspective: In the original, MP included Lava Boarding, 2 War levels (1 of which was an Assault map with a giant microwave sudden death), tank fighting (co-op if you wanted, 1 gunner 1 driver), and Dinosaurs vs Humans (every bit as awesome as it sounds, essentially 1 team captures the eggs and returns them to the frying pan at base, whereas the 1-3 dinosaurs on defence have to eat the humans, and the humans just have crossbows). The remake? Just some shooter levels, whilst good at the time for having an unlock system, were nowhere near the original's quality, almost becoming Quake with squirrels+Teddiez (which had very good AI but lacked online).
Weirdness Magnet: Conker. He doesn't go looking for any of the insanity the plot thrusts upon him, he just wants to get home.
Wham Episode: More like a wham chapter combined with Player Punch which is actually on the final chapter. It starts out like a typical level based spoof. But after grabbing the money, it's revealed that the entire bank robbing was a setup, though not much of a whammer up until Don Weaso kills Berri with Conker finding out too late. And if that weren't enough, after a lengthy cutscene and boss battle, after the game freezes and Conker manipulates it enough to finally defeat the boss for good (via cutscene), Conker finally realizes he forgot to bring back Berri. And the kicker? He had a chance to save her during the game freeze, but didn't. And now he's turned out to be king of all the land, but as they say, "The Grass is Always Greener". How's that for a wham chapter?
What Did I Do Last Night?: Conker somehow wanders from the bar to the place where he meets Birdy the Scarecrow after a night of heavy binge drinking, and spends the rest of the game trying to get home.
What the Hell, Player?? Killing more than five allied NPCs in multiplayer war will cause them to turn on you and start attacking while yelling out insults. The opposing team will no longer attack you.
Note that they will revert back to normal if you grab the flag. However, in an Arena mission this can mean that you get to take free potshots at the enemy without getting return fire.
White Gloves: Conker wears them in the N64 version. Averted in the Live & Reloaded remake.
Wicked Weasel: The weasels in the game are either members of the mob or bank security guards, both have connections to the Panther King, who rules over the weasels after he overthrew their old monarch. Weasel characters include Professor Von Kripplespac, Don Weaso, and the Panther King's two minions.
Except, of course, for the musicians at the local bar!
Womb Level: Sort of. At one point you have to go through a living dinosaur statue idol... thing, with a large amount of green slime and multiple uvulas swinging back and forth. Although the only organic part is the slime; everything else is stone.