Just in case the great big, black "M" didn't tip you off, or the Not for anyone under the age of 17 warning for that matter.
"It all started.... yesterday. What a day that was! It's what I call... a bad fur day."
— Conker, opening cutscene
Conker's Bad Fur Day is one of ten Nintendo 64 games released in 2001. Originally developed as a kiddy game under the name of ''Conker's Quest'' and later Twelve Tales: Conker 64, Rare's next game in the Conker series was heading to become another run-of-the-mill platform game. Apparently, Rare changed their mind during production, and instead set out to create a "controversial" game aimed at adults and older teens.Inspired by South Park, the then newly renamed Conker's Bad Fur Day promised to use scatological humour, sexual innuendo (some more subtle than others), cartoon violence, and excessive swearing. Originally thought to be an April Fools joke, the announcement turned out to be completely true.A few years later, after Rare was bought out by Microsoft, a remake of the game, Conker: Live and Reloaded, came out.A Spiritual Successor is in the works by former creator and voice of Conker Chris Seavor.A playthrough of the game with commentary from some of the developers can be viewed on Youtube.
All There in the Manual: In the N64 version, the only reference to Ze Professor's past as the Weasel King was in the Panther King's profile in the booklet, where it mentioned the Panther King chopped off his legs.
Always Night: The second half of the game, starting with the Spooky chapters. Justified since the entire game is supposed to take place over a single day.
Animate Inanimate Object: They're everywhere, from Franky the Pitchfork to the Cogs to the money Conker collects.
Awful Truth: The game begins with the given impression that it's a ridiculous tale of how Conker became king and met a bunch of strange people. Which is true, but at the end of the story, it's revealed that the tale is just one big sob story of how Conker was used by a bunch of rude, obnoxious jerks, got involved in wars and heists, risked his life on multiple occasions, and witnessed his girlfriend get killed right before his eyes when up to that point, no one took Conker and Berri as being a serious couple with a solid and sound relationship. The worst part of all was that he had a chance to save her shortly thereafter, but botched it. All he wanted to do is go home after a bad hangover and forget it had ever happened, but in the end his life was ruined, and there was nothing he could do to get out of it.
Back from the Dead: The Panther King in the Teddiz ending of Live and Reloaded's multiplayer campaign.
Badass Adorable: Conker, who in his previous appearances was just adorable, not badass.
Bait-and-Switch Boss: You don't even fight the Big Bad at the end, but rather an alien that hatched from his stomach.
Baleful Polymorph: Batula transforms Conker into a bat and demands he fetch villagers as victims. The transformation wears off after the Count's death.
Bullfight Boss: Conker encounters a bull during the Sloprano level.
Bullet Time: During the Matrix level and when you enter a code to get Matrix-like 360's in multi-player, when you kill someone with a katana or a chainsaw.
Bull Seeing Red: One of the boss battles is against a bull that hates the color red. Conker just so happens to be a red squirrel (or light orange on the Xbox remake). You don't need a flowchart here.
Butt Biter: Conker mounts a Raptor and uses it to actually bite chunks out of a giant caveman's butt.
Camera Abuse: In an It's War mission where you have to escort Rodent, the screen starts getting shot, and more so the more the bullets rain down on you.
Also one of Conker's Idle animations is of him drinking a soda can; sometimes when Conker kicks it to get rid of the soda can after he's finished, it will hit the screen and make the camera shake slightly off screen while making the sound of the impact. Also, Live & Reloaded added the effects of water, blood, and poo staining the screen during certain chapters.
Camp Gay: You encounter a cog in one level who is very angry and demanding. Turn him upside down, however...
Copy And Paste Environments: For example, the texture in the slime tunnel is the same one as inside the Great Mighty Poo's lair.
Besides a few exceptions, swimming in poo and swimming in water is only different in what color the remaining fluid dripping from Conker's body are when he gets out and the color of the splashes he makes jumping in.
This game is probably one of the best examples of one. There's a swarm of evil wasps flying around, a weasel mafia running wild, a corrupt king with untrained guards, a completely unguarded Federal Reserve Bank, a fairly dysfunctional military, a war (the list continues)
Darker and Edgier: The second half of the game is this from the Spooky chapter on.
The game itself, compared to Rare's other games before this was made.
Dead Character Walking: If using an infinite health cheat code in multiplayer, the character will remain alive no matter how many hits they take. If, however, they take a hit that should kill them, but thanks to the cheat code, doesn't, which includes many a one-hit kill strike like a run-in with a chainsaw or a headshot by either a knife or a gun, the character will still go through their death animation as well as lose the weapon they had, but they'll be brought back to life, albeit missing bits and pieces of their body depending on how severe an attack it was. They will also still be able to take even more damage and similar normally-one-hit-kills unfazed even after missing most of their body parts. The only thing that can kill a character even with the code on is when they are hit by something that'll make them explode, including a strike from a grenade launcher, a bomb, or falling an incredibly high height (also if you cheat further, a few characters can't be killed even with this, or maimed otherwise for that matter).
Deader Than Dead: Berri, to a somewhat ludicrous level. She gets mowed down for 20 seconds with a tommy gun, then sucked out into deep space. The Panther King also counts to this, first getting killed by the Xenomorph hatching, then getting sucked out as well.
The zombies after you shoot them in the head.
Deceptive Disciple: Professor Von Kripelspac when he betrays the Panther King by hatching an alien in his stomach to defeat Conker.
Description Porn: The boss in the 'It's War' level 'The Experiment' does this every time Conker attacks its back:
The Experiment: Now then, lesson 1: Ballistics. This is my mini-gun. It fires 8000 rounds per second, brass cased 8MM with tungsten alloy heads, and high explosive charge. Very, very messy.
Could have been worse, they could have gone with the original ending and have Conker commit suicide.
Down the Drain: U-Bend Blues may be the most frustrating level known to man.
Driven to Suicide: Franky the Pitchfork, who is encouraged to kill himself by the paint pot. He fails because he doesn't have a neck of any description.
The original ending was going to have Conker shoot himself during the bar scene after the credits, but the creators decided they wanted to eventually do a sequel. Ironically, Word of God says that Conker would have been killed in the opening of the sequel, and the main game focusing on the Tediz and Army Squirrel War instead. This however, has been disputed as false due to a concept of Conker escaping execution was the first idea before Nintendo pulled the plug on the series and Microsoft bought Rare. However, many speculate that Rare had intended to continue Conker's adventures on the Xbox, but it was instead a polished port of the first game.
Early Birdy Cameo: Before you even meet him in-game, you can see him leaned against the door of the Cock & Plucker while Conker staggers in, before you can pick a slot to start playing.
You can also see Gregg the Grim Reaper and some squirrel soldiers.
Don't forget the fire imp near the fire place, whom you can speak to and use cheat codes with. Or cuss at him, your choice.
Early Installment Weirdness: The game prior to this one, Conker's Pocket Tales, is a children's game played completely straight.
Electric Torture: Conker finds a squirrel strapped to an electric chair when he invades the Tediz base. He tries to free him by pulling a switch, but inevitably, that only turns the chair on, zapping the squirrel nearly to death. Though terribly charred, he's "not quite dead." Also, there's two switches...but they both electrocute the squirrel. Anyway, after one of them is used, the other will open the door to leave the area, no matter which you picked.
The windmill was intended to be a building you could go into when the game was still the kid friendly Conker's Quest/Twelve Tales Conker 64; you could open it and go inside, as seen in this video. As for what purpose going in there served, it's pretty much a mystery by now. Another one is the slightly destroyed stone and brick building structure near where you rescue Rodent in the War Chapter.
Enfant Terrible: A scared little girl is in need of Conker's help during the War chapter. Too bad she's an evil psychopathic demon who controls a giant, cybernetic, destructive Tediz experiment.
Executive Meddling: To elaborate on what was stated above, the main reason why Conker's Bad Fur Day was created was because the Executives at Rare began to fear that their original idea for a Conker platformer, Twelve Tales: Conker 64/Conker's Quest, was going to be looked down upon due to being yet another cutesy platformer, and an extremely negative critique/mockery made during its test showing ended up being the last straw, ultimately resulting in this.
Foreshadowing: While the music that plays in the introduction has been associated with A Clockwork Orange, it was originally written for a funeral procession for Britain's Queen Mary II. Considering that Berri would have likely been Conker's queen at the end had she lived, the context in which the music was used suddenly takes on an appropriately grim tone for players familiar with the piece's origin.
For the Evulz: Pretty much the only reason the Panther King had Berri killed.
Subverted in Live & Reloaded, where you use the frying pan only in the tutorial level, but Conker switches it immediately after the encounter with the Gargoyle for a baseball bat.
Gag Boobs: Conker actually uses the large breasts of a sunflower as a springboard. And then there's Jugga...
Gainax Ending: The final chapter turns much of the story on its head.
Gameplay and Story Segregation: Apparently, squirrels get a new life with every tail they collect, and seemingly start off with 3 - but not if you're one of the countless Squirrel soldiers.
They don't get "fuck" past the radar, though. It is the only word censored throughout the game.
Averted with the Xbox remake Conker: Live and Reloaded; all swears are censored, making the game tamer than the original. Microsoft had something to do with that.
Playing online in Live and Reloaded allowed players to unlock the swearing in the multiplayer, including fuck.
Giant Mook: Three bosses: Haybot to the living haystacks, Buga the Knut to the cavemen, and the Experiment to the Tediz.
Grass Is Greener: Conker realizes only after becoming rich and powerful like he always wanted to be that he had everything he wanted all along. Only, by then, it was too late.
Conker:"It's true what they say, the grass is always greener. And you don't really know what it is you have, until it's gone..."
Groin Attack: One of the boss battles requires you to hit a pair of brass balls with a cinder block.
Guns Akimbo: A shortage of this in the remake makes a couple of parodies awkward.
Half-Dressed Cartoon Animal: Conker himself, who doesn't wear pants. This is made very weird in the mission where he must piss on fiery demons, as we hear a zipping sound, but he has no pants of which to unzip. The pantsless issue is averted in the Xbox remake, in which he actually does wear pants.
Hand Cannon: Not only is it as big as your arm and one shot kill anywhere, it also has a zooming scope and laser sight. Perfect for Scrubs of all ages! If you see that laser sight, you have one second before your head disappears.
Have a Nice Death/Its A Wonderful Failure: There are a few different Game Over sequences depending how Conker died on his last life. From being captured, gagged, and used as a replacement table leg as intended, to being listed as missing on a milk carton, to being delivered to the Panther King as a bag full of splattered squirrel bits...
Carl: Either bring me back me missin' cogs, or F*** OFF!
Conker(annoyed): You don't have to shout.
Carl: I'm deaf! Speak up or f*** off!
Not to mention Conker himself, though he does show a few acts of kindness. They're few and far between though, such as shutting up the Paintbrush and Paint Pot laughing at him and Franky the Pitchfork, as well as fixing Franky up after he gets broken in two and having that be one of the (very) few good deeds Conker does without asking for the person he's helping (in this case Franky) for anything in return for helping them, and possibly the part where he rescues Rodent from a group of Tediz a little ways into the War chapter that were going to kill him.
Conker is not the nicest of people, but compared to the scads of JerkAsses he meets, he's practically a saint. He doesn't swear (When he does, he immediately covers his mouth in fear and embarrassment); He asks for money for doing his deeds, but doesn't show any animosity towards anyone he meets, unless they do to him; he really does love Berri; and he solves quite a few problems for the people of the land ( including removing the incompetent king from his throne).
Karma Houdini: Don Weaso manages to escape with his cash after killing Berri.
Keep Circulating the Tapes: It wasn't easy to pick up when it was originally released! Fast forward a decade and the fact that the game reaches £70 on Ebay (the single booklet was £30!) gives an impression on how rare the game is now. Copies of the Xbox remake are quite easy to find though.
Literal Ass Kicking: Actually literal ass biting. The Uga Buga boss fight requires you to use a dinosaur to bite chunks of flesh out of his buttocks until he can no longer hold up his loincloth.
Logo Joke: Conker cuts the N64 logo in half with a chainsaw, and replaces it with a shiny Rare logo which he seems to prefer.
Lonely at the Top: Inverted. At the end, Conker's adored by most of the cast he assisted throughout the game, but he hates all of them, and the one person he loves the most is dead.
Ludicrous Gibs: Pretty much most of the gun sequences and multiplayer modes deaths are gib-tastic.
The Man They Couldn't Hang: Franky the Pitchfork is Driven to Suicide by his heckling companions, the paint pot and the paint brush, after failing to kick Conker's ass. When he decides to hang himself, he fails because he "does not appear to have a neck of any description", and remains stuck hanging from the barnyard ceiling until Conker cuts him down.
The Many Deaths of You: Subverted. There are many ways you can die that may not mean much (besides different animations Conker has), but depending on how you die on your last life, you'll trigger different cutscenes as far as what happens between the guard weasels delivering Conker and the Panther King, including Conker being missing and advertised on a milk carton (common), being tied up (alive) as a replacement desk (if Conker runs out of energy), being delivered in pieces in a sack (if Conker was chopped, exploded or otherwise in pieces), delivered in a smoking sack (if burned to death), or being delivered in a wet sack (if he died on the surface of the water or in it, regardless of how he died.)
Man Behind the Man: It really seems to be the Weasel professor rather then the Panther King that calls the shots for the Panther Kingdom.
Mature Animal Story: While the game is a comedy with talking animals, none of it is meant to be kid-friendly.
Meaningful Name: The big-breasted cave woman is called Jugga.
Medium Awareness: Very much so. An example coming from the X-Box remake is when Conker notices the first subtle differences from the N64 version and remarks that he thought the programmer told him it was going to be a straight port.
Also present in the N64 version during the "Haybot" chapter. Before the boss fight, Conker says, "I don't like the sound of that music" and Franky agrees.
Mercy Invincibility: More noticeable in a part of It's War where you have to blow up submarines that are constantly firing homing missiles at you. Sometimes, there are two subs at a time, and they fire one immediately after the other in a way that, even if the first missile chips off your chocolate health while you're taking aim, the second one will do you nothing assuming that you are still in your recovery time, even though it'll come dead-on down on you.
Mickey Mousing: The entire fight with The Great Mighty Poo is scripted to coincide with his absurd opera song. You defeat him by throwing stuff in his exposed mouth when he opens it to sing harmony with the BGM. A common Player Tic is to wait until just the right moment in the BGM to throw the toilet paper into his mouth.
Mood Whiplash: After a relatively lighthearted - if incredibly raunchy - first half, the final leg of the game becomes increasingly depressing, finally culminating in a Downer Ending - which still worked quite well, but was decidedly jarring. There IS a reason for the Tear Jerker tab.
The ending's made all the worse when you consider this is a game inspired by South Park. That's fatal Mood Whiplash.
How about the whole game in general? The first Conker game for the Game Boy Colour was a kid-friendly Puzzle/Adventure game.
Our Vampires Are Different: Count Conkula, who not only has the power to turn into a bat, but turns Conker into one as well. And instead of being killed by a stake or sunlight, he's killed by drinking too much blood, growing fat, and falling into his own grinder.
Slow No: Private Rodent shouts this in slow motion, just when Conker is about to save the little girl only to be revealed as a boss.
Private Rodent: Connnkkkerrr, Nooooooooo!
Sound Effect Bleep: In the remake, The Great Mighty Poo's song is bleeped with farts. Apparently, the words "twat" and "shit" are far too naughty for a rated-M game on the X-Box.
Talking Poo: The Great Mighty Poo. Well, forget talking, it's an opera singer.
Teeny Weenie: Buga the Knut's less than impressive tackle.
After his boisterous claims of having the biggest bone. But he probably meant this literally, considering his weapon is a literal bone.
Tiny Guy, Huge Girl: Conker seems to have a thing for taller women, given that he stands maybe up to his girlfriend Berri's kneecaps. But it truly becomes Huge Girl Tiny Guy when he meets Jugga, an enormous cavewoman. However, it doesn't work out between them.
There Is No Kill Like Overkill: Don Weaso shoots Berri to death with a tommy gun for a few seconds. Her body is then sucked into space.
Thrown Out The Air Lock: How you fight the final boss, in the style of Super Mario 64. Too bad it doesn't kill him, but fortunatey, the game locks up just before you die in futility.
Those Wacky Nazis: This is most likely the first time that Nazis are portrayed as teddy bears.
Title Drop: Right in the intro when Conker starts to explain how he became King Of All The Lands, he says
"It all started yesterday. And what a day that was. It's what I call a Bad Fur Day."
Toilet Humor: LOTS of it. An entire level dedicated to rolling balls of dung, with the linked boss being a huge singing mound of poo.
Unexpected Gameplay Change: Quite a few times, the first example being the lava boarding level. The War levels kinda came out of nowhere as well, turning the game into a shooter.
If the Context Sensitive Button appears, be prepared for gameplay changes. What it changes into, that's another story.
The Unfought: The Panther King, and to a lesser extent, Don Weaso.
Video Game Remake: By the time the Xbox remake was released, much of the parody was decidedly out of date, and the profanity was mostly censored - which is odd, considering the Mature rating and the fact that the uncensored track could be unlocked by playing through the game once. The game's multiplayer was also changed to be decidedly less, shall we say, good.
To put in perspective: In the original, MP included Lava Boarding, 2 War levels (1 of which was an Assault map with a giant microwave sudden death), tank fighting (co-op if you wanted, 1 gunner 1 driver), and Dinosaurs vs Humans (every bit as awesome as it sounds, essentially 1 team captures the eggs and returns them to the frying pan at base, whereas the 1-3 dinosaurs on defence have to eat the humans, and the humans just have crossbows). The remake? Just some shooter levels, whilst good at the time for having an unlock system, were nowhere near the original's quality, almost becoming Quake with squirrels+Teddiez (which had very good AI but lacked online).
Wham Episode: More like a wham chapter combined with Player Punch which is actually on the final chapter. It starts out like a typical level based spoof. But after grabbing the money, it's revealed that the entire bank robbing was a setup, though not much of a whammer up until Don Weaso kills Berri with Conker finding out too late. And if that weren't enough, after a lengthy cutscene and boss battle, after the game freezes and Conker manipulates it enough to finally defeat the boss for good (via cutscene), Conker finally realizes he forgot to bring back Berri. And the kicker? He had a chance to save her during the game freeze, but didn't. And now he's turned out to be king of all the land, but as they say, "The Grass is Always Greener". How's that for a wham chapter?
What Did I Do Last Night?: Conker somehow wanders from the bar to the place where he meets Birdy the Scarecrow after a night of heavy binge drinking, and spends the rest of the game trying to get home.
What Do You Mean, It's Not Symbolic?: U-Bend Blues is among the hardest and deadliest levels in the game, where if a player didn't die up to this point, they will now. At the same time, the level also features numerous bits and pieces of other red squirrels who died trying to get past the spinning blades.
What the Hell, Player?? Killing more than five allied NPCs in multiplayer war will cause them to turn on you and start attacking while yelling out insults. The opposing team will no longer attack you.
Note that they will revert back to normal if you grab the flag. However, in an Arena mission this can mean that you get to take free potshots at the enemy without getting return fire.
Wicked Weasel: The weasels in the game are either members of the mob or bank security guards, both have connections to the Panther King, who rules over the weasels after he overthrew their old monarch. Weasel characters include Professor Von Kripplespac, Don Weaso, and the Panther King's two minions.
Except, of course, for the musicians at the local bar!
Wingding Eyes: Conker's dollar sign eyes whenever he sees money.
and later Twelve Tales: Conker 64, Rare's next game in the Conker series was heading to become another run-of-the-mill platform game. Apparently, Rare changed their mind during production, and instead set out to create a "controversial" game aimed at adults and older teens.Inspired by South Park, the then newly renamed Conker's Bad Fur Day promised to use scatological humour, sexual innuendo (some more subtle than others), cartoon violence, and excessive swearing. Originally thought to be an April Fools joke, the announcement turned out to be completely true.A few years later, after Rare was bought out by Microsoft, a remake of the game, Conker: Live and Reloaded, came out.A Spiritual Successor is in the works
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