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Talking Poo
Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo!
He loves me and I love you!

Daughter: Daddy? There's a giant doo-doo in the bathroom.
Father: Ehhh, I'm really proud of you honey.
Daughter: But I didn't make it, Daddy. It came out of the bathroom and it started saying bad words. I'm scared.
Father: There's nothin' to be scared of, honey. Number twos can't talk.

... But what if it could?

Sentient feces. Living dung. Intelligent droppings. Basically, poo that's alive. Doesn't necessarily have to speak, as long as it's sentient. Anthropomorphised doodoo is generally for comedic purposes, but there are exceptions.

A subtrope of Toilet Humor and Animate Inanimate Object.


Examples:

Anime and Manga
  • One of the minor recurring characters in Dr. Slump.
  • There's a brief moment with talking poo in Twilight of the Cockroaches.
  • Digimon has this in the form of Sukamon. Also Platinum Sukamon and King Sukamon.
  • Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt has the girls fighting a giant shit monster that can only say stuff related to crap and shit as their first enemy.
  • During the "Freaky Friday" Flip arc in Gintama, Hasegawa ends up becoming this when his soul is inexplicably transferred from Sadaharu into the pile of poop he had just left behind, though the talking is the only thing setting him apart from normal poop initially. Gintoki decides to give him back his glasses (Which have Yamazaki's soul in them), which somehow leads to him transforming into a fully anthropomorphic pile of poop towards the end of the arc, allowing him to help resolve the body-swapping issue once and for all. In the end, everyone but Gintoki and Hijikata end up being transformed into anthropomorphic poop courtesy of Genzai's faulty invention...

Comic Books
  • Shithead from Wanted.
  • Cazador has Captain Cuete, a superhero with explosive farts; he experiences a Power Degeneration which slowly turns him into a being made entirely of faeces. He can also create tiny mooks out of his excrements, and he later comes under the wing of a literal turd god which looks like a gigantic pile of excrement with multiple eyes and a halo.

Eastern Animation
  • If Hong Kong cartoons count as anime, then Excreman from the McMug/McDull series.
  • Doggy Poo. It's a Korean movie and is actually sort of cute. And it's not even Played for Laughs.

Film

Live-Action TV
  • Dr. Puri Puri from the Japanese children's show Ugo Ugo Ruga.
  • Brazilian kids show Cocoricó (literally "Cock-A-Doodle-Doo"), set in a farm, had one.

Literature

Mythology
  • In the un-Bowdlerized versions of Native American myths about Coyote, he's assisted and advised by his three "sisters", which are actually his own droppings that talk. The cleaned-up versions depict them as talking berries that live in his stomach.

Tabletop Games
  • They not only appear in Low Life, they're a playable race.

Toys
  • Anthropomorphized plush toys Pee and Poo have somehow gained quite a popularity...

Video Games

Webcomics
  • Crap Golems from Erfworld would probably count. Though being golems, they might only qualify as crap-based automata.
  • In Schlock Mercenary, Schlock is often mistaken for this. Readers are advised to remember that he consists of a proteinaceous gel woven together by fullerene nerves; while from a distance this resembles the excretions of a very healthy horse, you, by the same token, are a structural bag of no-longer-potable water.
    • Indeed, he has a cameo as one of the Erfworld Crap Golems.
  • Dr. Doo Doo from Axe Cop.

Web Original
  • For his review of the Odyssey console The Angry Video Game Nerd needed someone to play against. He cloned the Nerdy Turd from his own excrement to provide an opponent. It doesn't "talk," per se, but it can make rude noises that clearly is supposed to almost, but not quite, sound like a language.
  • The Nostalgia Critic briefly becomes an example of this at the end of his The Garbage Pail Kids Movie review. "It's turned me into what the movie always was: a dirty piece of crap!"
  • The Napster Bad series features Nutty McShithead, a human-shaped pile of excrement who is the spokesman of the recording industry, and is also one hell of a Gasshole.

Western Animation
  • Mr. Hankey in South Park.
    • Also, according to the episode "More Crap": Bono.
  • The obscure John Kricfalusi character Nutty the Friendly Dump, best remembered for Kricfalusi's threat to sue the South Park creators for allegedly stealing the idea as inspiration for Mr. Hankey.
    • Also, the "star" of the The Ren & Stimpy Show Adult Party Cartoon episode "Stimpy's Pregnant". More like crying poo, but still portrayed as an animate object.


Road ApplesDisgust TropesTinkle in the Eye
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Self-Serving MemoryImageSource/Western AnimationThey Killed Kenny Again
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