As a weapon, Lilarcor has its uses, but many a warrior has eventually given it away. Banter such as "Ouch, that musta hurt", "Oh yeah! Got 'im good", and "Beware my bite for it might...might...might really hurt or something" is a constant barrage on a warrior's psyche.
Shinigami swords (zanpakutou) are born from the shinigami's soul. It takes talent and desire for the shinigami to awaken the living spirit within the sword for it to become an Empathic Weapon and even more talent to learn its name and release its powers, at which point it crosses into a Talking Weapon. Zanpakutou tend to share the shinigami's personality, including strengths and flaws, which can make it very hard for shinigami and their zanpakutou to get along. For those that crack the skill of Jinzen (the meditative skill of communing with the zanpakutou to strength bonds of trust and respect), great power can be developed and harnessed. It's not possible to reach the higher seats without this bond, and only one captain (Kenpachi Zaraki) has ever existed who had no communication with his zanpakutou. Lack of good communion with one's sword can diminish strength and make the sword itself fragile and prone to breaking. The manga mostly focuses on the Main Character's zanpakutou, Zangetsu, but has shown other zanpakutou such as Zabimaru and Ouetsu Nimaiya's room full of Honey Trap female zanpakutou spirits.
Zangetsu: "Do you hear it, Ichigo? Do you hear his blade mourning? ... He has never listened to that voice. If they do not trust each other when fighting side-by-side, they will diminish each others strength. For someone who only believes in his own strength, it is impossible to understand that. Ichigo, do you trust me?"
Ichigo: "Of course. I'll give you all of my power. Use it however you like and then please lend me yours."
While most arrancar don't even have empathic weapons (their zanpakuto are merely their full power sealed into a sword), Coyote Starrk's power did not split into an arrancar and a sword like other Espadas, it split into two arrancar (himself and Lilynette). When they recombine to reach full strength, Lilynette becomes a pair of talking (and extremely opinionated) guns.
Sou'unga in the third InuYasha movie, Swords of an Honorable Ruler, is an evil youkai sword that talks — often in the form of Hannibal Lectures.
Haganemaru in Kurogane is capable of speech, which is useful, as its wielder isn't.
Yuri has a talking sword (or at least one that constantly moans) in Kyo Kara Maoh.
In Last Fantasy, a character wields a sword with an eye that screams for souls which appears to be a Captain Ersatz of Soul Edge... but turns out to be an overpriced novelty item he bought in the last town.
Babbo in MÄR is a talking flail... or maybe cup-and-ball game.
The more powerful Demon Swords from The Sacred Blacksmith are this trope taken to the eleven. Not only they speak, they have personality and ponder about the meaning of their existence and their relationship to humans. Oh, and they can take human form too.
Every weapon character in Soul Eater could count as this, seeing as they are humans who have taken a weapon form. Excalibur in particular is extremely talkative(FOOL!), though more of the Cloudcuckoolandery ty(FOOL!)pe, and he's usually only in sword form when being used (FOOL!) or stored in the stone (FOOL!). Excalibur talks (FOOL!). And talks(FOOL!). And talksandtalksandtalksand(FOOL!)—argh SHUT UP DAMNIT! (ﺧ益ﺨ)
When Ragnarok is in its sword form, it fits nicely into this trope. Not only can Ragnarok speak, it has a mean scream attack.
The Swordians, in a couple episodes of Space Adventure Cobra, are a whole species of talking swords with telekinetic powers.
The Helm features a slight twist on this - as you can imagine, it's the hero's helmet that talks. And only he can hear it. There's some question as to whether or not he's simply insane, but he reasons that if this were some delusional fantasy his magic talking helmet wouldn't be so mean to him.
Smax from Top 10 has a singing sword that he usually hides under a cloth (both because it's annoying and because he doesn't like to talk about his homeland). When he goes into battle in his self-titled mini-series, the sword starts singing ABBA.
In With Strings Attached, Blackfire mostly just whines like a mosquito, but when the Hunter tries to throw it over a cliff at the urging of the four, it starts to scream “STAY AWAY, HUMANSSSS!” at the four. And he finds he can't let go of it....
Rare non-fantasy example: the Lawgivers in the Judge Dredd film talk to confirm weapon choices and give their status. However, they don't have the sentience of most weapons on this page: Those are just vocal messages.
In The Last Sentinel the main character carries a sapient talking rifle, possibly a shout out to Rogue Trooper.
In The Colour of Magic (both the book and the miniseries), Rincewind comes across Kring, a talking sword that tries to help him save Twoflower from Wyrmburg. It had very definite ideas about how its wielder should act, threatening to kill Rincewind if he didn't do the suitably heroic thing, by pointing itself at his neck. The sword disappears afterwards and its current whereabouts are unknown, although it may have been dropped overboard from the back of a dragon flying at great height above a very deep sea. Whoops.
There was also Imp/Buddy's harp, which (as the focal point of The Music) didn't talk, but definitely had a mind of its own.
In The Silmarillion, Túrin Turambar has a "to be or not to be" moment where he asks his cursed sword, Gurthang, if it will take his life swiftly. The sword answers yes, and Túrin kills himself. This is overtly taken from Kullervo's death in The Kalevala (see the Myths folder below), but unlike Kullervo's sword Gurthang says it will gladly kill Túrin to wash away the blood of the innocents he's murdered. And the story never makes itquite clear if it really talked: Túrin was less than sane, the sword only spoke that once, and nobody else was around to record the event or remember it after Túrin died.
Need, from the Heralds of Valdemar series. But it's not so much the sword as the soul of a woman from the ancient past who encased herself in the sword.
In Elfsong Danilo Thann owns a singing sword. He taught it a song about a knight who wished for a more impressive lance.
Khazid'hea from the Drizzt novels can speak only telepathically to its current wielder, and often chooses not to do that. It desires to be wielded by the strongest warrior, and is capable of changing the shape of its pommel to make itself more appealing to a new wielder. It angsted for a while over its inability to alter the shape of its blade, since its desired wielder Drizzt fought with a scimitar instead.
It's more than just a weapon, but the black ka'kari in The Night Angel Trilogy eventually becomes fairly talkative, and at one point, it refuses a command. Given that it chooses its own master and is supposedly highly intelligent, it seems fairly likely that it's the ka'kari which humors its owner rather than the other way around.
Craig Shaw Gardner's Wuntvor books have Cuthbert, a talking sword who's a total coward and wails pretty loudly about all this blood and ichor everyone insists on drenching him in.
The live swords in Paladins, they can only talk telepathically when someone's touching their hilt but the Khan at least gives the impression of being able to perceive events around it.
Nightblood in Warbreaker is a sword that not only speaks (telepathically) nearly constantly, but is also something of a Deadpan Snarker. He also reads minds and seems to think any thought he picks up was directed at him.
Rumo & His Miraculous Adventures. Rumo gets a sword that talks to him, but he is the only one who can hear it. The problem: The two-bladed "sword" (more the size of a pig-sticker) actually contains two personalities. One is a very talkative and mostly ineffective coward (who talked Rumo in taking the sword), the other one a blood-thirsty, single-minded warrior (who can sulk when denied a fight). Rumo actually threatens to abandon the sword should it not stop talking.
In Stephen Hunt's The Court Of The Air, there is a talking sword that is actually wise and generous.
The living Shardblades in The Stormlight Archive, since they are actually a form that the Radiant's spren companion can assume. The dead Shards as well, though it's not so much talking as screaming in unspeakable agony.
Teddy from Kamen Rider Den-O in his sword form. Not only does he speak, he has a very large, grinning mouth. Sort of like a Cheshire Cat if it were a sword.
Den-O also has the DenKamen Sword, through which the Taros can speak, and the Denebick Buster, which is Deneb turned into a energy machinegun and therefore The Gun That Speaks.
Later Den-O movies make this Kotaro (New Den-O)'s gimmick; rather than being possessed by the Taros, they turn into Weapons That Speak for him to wield. Episode Blue shows Urataros and Kintaros turning into a talking fishing rod and axe respectively, and Let's Go Kamen Rider adds the Momotasword to the mix.
FRAN in Stargate Atlantis is technically a Ridiculously Human Robot but crosses into this trope when McKay protests that she is the equivalent of a bullet or bomb and they shouldn't feel bad about using her as a weapon, even though she's self-aware. McKay quickly comes to regret giving her that speech when she freaks even him out by being disturbingly cheerful about fulfilling her intended purpose by "dying."
In the Estonian epic Kalevipoeg the eponymous hero also has one. Turns out that it kind of hates him because he killed the son of the smith who made it. And eventually it ends up killing him, abusing his Exact Words.
It was in this battle Ogma found Orna, the sword of Tethra, a king of the Fomor, and he took it from its sheath and cleaned it. And when the sword was taken out of the sheath, it told all the deeds that had been done by it, for there used to be that power in swords.note Quoted from Lady Augusta Gregory's Complete Irish Mythology.
Dungeons & Dragons has rules for intelligent weapons, including how well they can communicate (e.g. starting with simple "empathy" and going all the way to full-blown telepathic powers)... as well as rules for conflicts of wills between weapon and wielder. The stock intelligent weapons described in the manual range all over the power and alignment spectrums... including one sword that is recommended for a deaf swordsman.
Intelligent weapons in other media based on D&D (R. A. Salvatore's Forgotten Realms novels, Baldur's Gate) tend to break some of these rules because, quite sensibly, they're more concerned with finding a wielder who'll suit their purposes than one who has the same alignment as the rules demand. Thus, Khazid'hea, though apparently evil and certainly not good, wants to be wielded by the greatest warrior, i.e. Drizzt Do'Urden (at first), who's Chaotic Good. Lilarcor, on the other hand, who seems to be Chaotic Neutral, doesn't refuse to be wielded by anyone because it just wants to kill things.
The rules in 3d Edition noted that it wasn't alignment per se that trigger conflicts of will between the weapon and the wielder, but rather the purpose of the weapon and the intentions of the wielder coming into conflict. Alignment just tended to be a fair guide to just how much risk there was for those two to diverge.
Some Daemon weapons in Warhammer 40,000 fit this trope. You do not want to listen to them. Unless you're evil, in which case listen away — many are full of sound advice. Some particularly powerful Daemon Weapons can exert limited Telekinesis. Abbadon's sword, for instance, once got him wounded by pulling him towards Eldrad — while he was impaled on Eldrad's force weapon.
GURPS: Thaumatology has rules for how intelligent weapons communicate, ranging from simple emotional impressions to mind control.
Wraith The Oblivion has the very disturbing soulforged weapons. Most ghosts believe the process of beating a soul into an inanimate object on an anvil destroys the victim's consciousness, but that's small comfort when that fancy new battle-axe starts weeping. Exalted uses the soulforging concept from Wraith, but dispenses with the comforting belief that the victims aren't still aware and screaming in agony forever.
The Singing and Dancing Sword from Munchkin. Useful since you don't need any hands to wield it so you can add it even if you're carrying other items.
The Swordians from Tales of Destiny, who are revealed to have once been people from the past. Or rather, their memories and personality imprinted onto the swords.
As the above quote illustrates, Lilarcor from Baldur's Gate 2. Lilarcor has an Ax-Crazy personality. Many players find it to be a most suiting weapon for the mentally less-than-stable Ranger Minsc. So much in fact that a fan-made Game Mod adds extra banter if Minsc is wielding the sword.
Minsc: I have asked Larry many times why he is my sword. I say, "Larry, why are you Minsc's sword?" and he says— Lilarcor: Because you got the grip and I've got the rip! Yeeaaaaaaahhhh!
In Devil May Cry 3, Dante gets a pair of talking swords that he soon tells to shut up. Notable in that most of his weapons were former demons, but aren't too talkative; Agni and Rudra, however, started as swords. They remain silent because Dante told them to keep quiet, but their voices can be heard when using one of their more powerful combos, calling out "Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust".
Exor in Super Mario RPG. This giant living weapon is a major member of Smithy's gang, crashing into Bowser's Keep, shattering the Star Road in the process (causing the Seven Stars to fly off throughout the world), and claiming Bowser's Keep as his gang's.
The Star Dragon Sword from the Suikoden series. It tries to come off as ancient and all-knowing, but since the only person who can wield it is the resident Boisterous Bruiser, they both end up snarking to each other constantly.
Enserric the Longsword in Neverwinter Nights: Hordes of the Underdark, who has an insult prepared for almost any type of enemy you encounter. He is also somewhat of a Deadly Upgrade, at least when he insists on rearranging your stats.
Corrupted Ashbringer whispers to you when you're close enough to Darion while he's carrying it. It's quite unnerving at times if you don't see it coming. Corrupted Ashbringer once was a useable item, and the ghost of Mograine would whisper to the wielder through it.
Frostmourne relays the voice of the Lich King to the wielder's head. Now that the wielder IS the Lich King, it probably does not whisper to him anymore, though. Turns out that the souls of everyone it kills are trapped inside, and can show up to harangue Arthas. This may be one of the reasons he was storing it in an empty room instead of carrying it with him the whole time.
Xal'atoh whispers: Carve more slowly so that I may feed. Xal'atoh whispers: Eyes are the window to the soul. Shatter them forever.
The Seventh Scripture in Tsukihime/Kagetsu Tohya carries the spirit of a half-unicorn, half-teenaged girl inside it. So it's capable of talking to those who either get their blood stained on it or have potent magical potential. Or Shiki/Arihiko's sister. Er. Anyway, mostly what she does is complain about Ciel's treatment of her. And no, it's not exactly a sword, but it is an annoying weapon that talks too much. She also loves carrots.
Dungeon Crawl has a weapon attribute aptly described as "It makes noises.", which may be applied to any random artifact weapon, meaning you might find talking specimens of pretty much any kind of weapon present in the game. Any such weapon will cause noises at irregular intervals while wielded; most of these noises are recognizable speech. Far from being a harmless annoyance for the player, the noise also tends to alert nearby hostiles to the wielder's presence.
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night has an odd example in the Sword Familiar. Once it reaches a certain level, it can be equipped as a normal sword and stays quiet. Its more common form, though, is a floating sword that fights alongside Alucard, and in that form it shouts victoriously and taunts the enemies (and Alucard himself, at lower levels).
Depicted above: the Team Fortress 2's Demoman's haunted sword Eyelander will occasionally whisper "Heads..." to the wielder. Fittingly enough, when the Demoman decapitates people with it, he gains a status buff.
Mabinogi's spirit weapons only speak when spoken to.
Torchlight contains the Sword of Adam as a rare unique drop and a Lethal Joke Weapon. Its stats are a mixture of useful and nonsensical. When swung the sword says random non-sequitors such as "Wizard!" and "Ssssoooo 3-D!" and "Hnnnarrnng!" Most probably an in-joke referring to one of the developers.
NieR has Grimoire Weiss, a talking book that not only serves as Nier's sidekick but is also the one casting his spells.
If you take the AI core from "Out of Body Experience" to Marcus at the end of the quest, he'll install it in a gun that will provide commentary like "Nice one, boss!" when you kill an enemy, or "Why'd we stop shooting?" when you reload or if you aim down the sights ("Let's take a closer look.").
The Morningstar sniper rifle, given to you by Hyperion (the Mega Corp. owned by the Big Bad), constantly tries to guilt-trip you for killing people with it.
The Bane is a gun that has annoying shrieks replacing the usual shooting sound effects.
In The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, Link's sword is inhabited by a spirit named Fi, which manifests itself in the form of a young girl. She frequently gives Link advice on how to proceed, and basically serves as his Exposition Fairy. Ghirahim is later revealed to be Demise's own talking weapon as well.
In Transistor, the heroine Red's sword speaks to her throughout her adventure.
Fantasy Life has Durandal, the sword that's waiting in a deep cave for a hero worthy of being its wielder to come. It's technically part of the Blacksmith Cast Herd and will teach a player that becomes a good enough Blacksmith the recipe for the best sword in the vanilla game.
Basically, the more powerful a sword is and the more useful it would be for a PC to be in control of all of the fantastic abilities it can grant, the more Ego the sword has, the less likely it is to acquiesce to demands to use those abilities, and the more likely it is to talk back and be generally annoying at the worst possible moment! Is that the perfect game mechanic or what? Gary, we are humbled by your boundless game mastering genius.
Torg's magic sword, Chazz, in Sluggy Freelance, activated in the arc That Which Redeems, and used frequently thereafter. Notable in that it must drink the blood of the innocent for it to speak.
"Good morning, Master. Who shall we kill today?"
A variation in Tales of the Questor: before it was named Wildcard, Quentynn's sword kept saying an advertising pitch for the merchant he got it from. At the most inappropriate times.
Keychain of Creation: Soulsteal swords are supposedly made of the forsaken souls of ghosts writhing in constant pain (see Exalted in the Tabletop Games folder), but somehow Secret's shapeshifting Cluivnarihe is instead a wise-cracking Jerkass who mocks Secret when nobody else is around to hear its (her?) disparaging comments. The one time Secret is attacked while alone and really needs her weapon, she realizes she left it in the cart to get away from the noise. Oops.
The axe from Waterworks, solely for the sake of humor. Despite its ominous red glow, it just wants to cut down trees.
The axe from Unforgotten Realms speaks in a French accent, apparently. It turns out he was originally a lumberjack/wizard who was transmogrified into an axe, then brainwashed so he thought that he'd been an axe all along.
Destiny's Wave, from the Whateley Universe. It is the magical weapon of Bladedancer, the Handmaid of the Tao, and is a jade jian that can cut through pretty much anything. It has the soul of a great woman warrior sealed inside it, and seems perfectly willing to talk to Bladedancer's friends too.
JourneyQuest's Sword of Fighting speaks. Generally in a fashion insulting to its wielder. The weapon itself may be Ax-Crazy, which seems odd for a sword.
The RPG Fanatic features a talking sword who frequently harasses the game reviewer.
In Noob, this turns out to be the case of Sourcelame, the sword that Arthéon and Kary were looking for during most of Season 4 from the webeseries and the skip between novels 3 annd 4. And it has a mission for the player that ends up as it permanent possessor.
Lula the sword from Dave the Barbarian. Talking weapons show up often in this show. Owning one is treated as akin to dating or marriage — so Lula is understandably upset when one of her old owners turns up (after having carelessly abandoned her years ago), begs her to come back, then gets bored with her and runs off with another sword.
Earthworm Jim did a parody episode about this. Jim gets a talking sword in a sandwich that claims to have been owned by all the great heroes. Eventually it's revealed that it's never actually done anything significant.
In Wakfu, Rubilax is a powerful elemental demon (called a "Shushu") trapped inside a sword. He's very much of a JerkassDeadpan Snarker, regularly belittling his guardian, Sadlygrove, and even sometimes trying to possess him. But this is still a hundred times better than letting the demon out of his prison.
The Muppet Babies acted out a fantasy Rags to Riches story where Piggy had to go on a quest to find a "Singing Sword", which never shut up until she shoved a sock in its mouth... and then wouldn't sing until she told it what song to sing.
Looney Tunes: In "Knighty Knight Bugs", Bugs is tasked to retrieve a singing sword.
In one episode of Mad Jack The Pirate Mad Jack and his crew, which consists entirely of an anthropomorphic rat that is several times more competent than his captain, are tasked with retrieving the Singeing sword in order to slay a monster so they can get something epically ridiculous, only after they retrieve it do they discover it is not a blazing sword, as was advertised on the wall of the temple from which they got the quest, but a singing sword, that is prone to talking as a Deadpan Snarker, but mostly singing. This results in hilarity for the viewers and annoyance for the characters.