Njal Gets Burned
is a satirical Alternative Character Interpretation of Njal's Saga, found on Saxo Dramaticus. Aside from gags, none of the major (or even minor) events are changed, and it usually follows the original almost line by line. Except...Everybody is completely insane.
No, more than the original.
Gunnar Hamundarson is a paragon of all manly Icelandic virtues, and Njal Thorgeirson is a lawyer who can see the future but not grow a beard. Can anything come between their famous friendship? Will Njal ever stop prophesying doom? And what will result from the scheming machinations of the likes of Hallgerd Long-Legs and Mord Valgardson?
In-progress as of January 2022.
Njal Gets Burned provides examples of the following tropes:
- Amoral Attorney: Njal, who may be Iceland's best lawyer, but mainly sees the law as a tool to get the outcomes he wants. At one point, he breaks Iceland's entire legal system in order to secure a chieftaincy for his foster-son.
- Brainless Beauty: Gunnar may be the ideal specimen of Icelandic manhood, but he's not terribly bright.
- Bumbling Henchman Duo: Grani Gunarsson and Gunnar Lambason, who hang about trying to get revenge on Skarphedin for the killing of Thrain Sigfusson, but mainly just manage to irritate their own side. Eventually, despite not accomplishing much they are outlawed permanently, along with a very short list of the major culprits, for "being annoying in general."
- Calling the Young Man Out: Parodied when Valgard the Grey calls Mord out for being insufficiently evil and scheming.
- Character Title: It may be debatable whether Njal is the protagonist, but he's certainly a character.
- Dark and Troubled Past: Atli very obviously has one, but neither Njal nor Bergthora care enough to ask for any details.
- Dehumanization: Played for Laughs, as Icelanders all agree that resident or visiting Norwegians are Redshirts, not people. Killing them is not considered illegal. note
- Everyone Has Standards: Killing people in open combat is all fine and good, but several people balk at house-burnings.
- Gizur and Geir refuse to burn Hlidarendi during Gunnar's last stand, although they do pull the roof off (it doesn't achieve much).
- Although Earl Hakon is known as the Bad, he still thinks burning Hallvard in his house is a bit much.
- Footnote Fever: Numerous footnotes elaborate on viking and villain social norms, or just make jokes.
- Funny Foreigner: Hallvard the White, who's extremely pushy about getting Gunnar to visit his native Norway. When he gets there, everyone else is perfectly normal (for an Icelandic saga), and Hallvard's cousin Olvir tells him to drop the act.
- Hypocritical Humor: Gunnar mocks Otkel for doing whatever his smarter friend says without questioning it. This is absolutely true and a major source of Otkel's problems, but rich coming from Gunnar, who consults Njal about what colour shirt he should wear.
- Literal Metaphor: Several characters comment that Skarphedin seems to have a blinking neon sign over his head that says "Doomed." This is because he's wearing a novelty hat.
- Loyal Animal Companion: Originally belonging to Olaf Peacock, who gave him to Gunnar, Sam the dog is said to be the equal of a human warrior in a fight. He's also clever enough to know who his master's real friends are and who's working for the enemy, and brave enough to heroically give his life warning Gunnar of an impending attack.
- Manipulative Bastard: Njal, who almost always manages to get everyone to agree to a plan that just happens to benefit him.
- Name That Unfolds Like Lotus Blossom: Some characters in the genealogies. One notable example is Hraerek Who Dropped His Keys Over The Side Of The Boat That One Time, And Everybody Laughed.
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Nausea Fuel: The Thorhall Bodily Fluid Count in the footnotes. - No Indoor Voice: Thorarin "Ragi's Brother."
- Seems to be a general characteristic of Lawspeakers. At one point, Hall of Sida is briefly proclaimed Lawspeaker against his will, and speaks in ALL CAPS (beginning mid-sentence no less) for approximately five minutes until he manages to pass the buck.
- Only Sane Man:
- Hall of Sida. Though he certainly has his Cloud Cuckoo Lander moments (for instance, he thinks Christianity is based around worship of the Archangel Michael), he's the strongest advocate for peaceful resolutions and one of the few people respected enough by both sides to have a chance of pulling it off.
- Runolf is also known as "the sanest man in Iceland," and usually provides sound advice, though he doesn't do as much as Hall.
- Overly Long Gag: Medieval Icelandic law really did require fairly detailed descriptions of wounds that resulted in lawsuits. This prompts Gizur the White to repeat a paragraph-long description of Thorgeir Otkelsson's fatal wound multiple times in a row, every time he mentions a new charge against Gunnar.
- Parental Favoritism: Njal openly favours his foster-son Hoskuld over any of his biological sons, even going so far as to state this out loud in court. Obviously, his sons resent this, and it gives Mord a wide opening.
- Punch-Clock Villain: Eyjolf Bolverksson, Flosi's initially unwilling lawyer who doesn't think much of the burning, but gladly pulls some very dubious tricks to pervert justice when he is bought.
- Rules Lawyer: Njal, who is always ready to get Gunnar out of legal trouble. One of his favorite tricks is to balance lawsuits against each other, and to that end, he hangs on to his neighbors' random offenses in the form of trading cards.
- Satellite Character: Kolskegg to Gunnar... until he gives Gunnar a tonguelashing for his selfish behaviour and storms out.
- Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Mord has a tendency to do this, which he seems to believe (incorrectly) is appropriate for a chieftain.
- Spoiler Title: just like the original, but punnier. Njal is doomed to fall victim to a house-burning - a rare and shocking event, even in medieval Iceland. At one point he tells Gunnar that his cause of death will be something no one would expect, but given the title, even Gunnar is able to figure it out.
- Talking Weapon: Gunnar's halberd sings opera whenever it's about to be used.
- Too Good for This Sinful Earth: Hoskuld Thrainsson, much to the Njalssons' annoyance.
- Trademark Favorite Food: Hallgerd loves fish and chips, though whenever she's seen eating it, trouble lies ahead.
- Villain Over for Dinner: Flosi pulls a version of this on Asgrim, solely to show off.
- What the Hell, Hero?: After a lengthy series of feuds which has already resulted in many deaths, Gunnar decides to simply ignore a legal settlement. His brother Kolskegg proceeds to chew him out for getting to this point, and then walk out. Njal then fatalistically comments on the consequences he foresees for Gunnar's choice.
