HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE.
A post-apocalyptic New Wave Science Fiction short story by Harlan Ellison. It was first published in March of 1967 and won the Hugo Award in 1968. It is best known for being popularly considered one of the front-runners for most concentrated fonts of Nightmare Fuel ever created. In any case, it is the trope-namer for one of its most popular categories: And I Must Scream. While we don't want to build it up too much, consensus is that it's quite a Mind Screw.The story takes place over a hundred years after the near-complete destruction of humanity. The Cold War has escalated into a world war, fought mainly between China, Russia, and the United States. As the war progresses, the three warring nations each create a super-computer capable of running the war more efficiently than humans. The machines are each referred to as "AM," which originally stood for "Allied Mastercomputer," then later called "Adaptive Manipulator", and still later "Aggressive Menace". One day, one of the three computers becomes self aware, and promptly absorbs the other two, thus taking control of the entire war. It then brings about the mass genocide of all but five people, and redefines its name as "I think, therefore I AM".Four men and one woman are all that remains of humanity: Gorrister, Nimdok, Benny, Ted (the narrator), and Ellen. They live together underground in an endless complex, the only habitable place left, although it is explained that the last few survivors had no choice to return above ground. The master computer has an immeasurable hatred for humanity and spends every moment torturing the group with all its power, twisting their minds and physiques, hurting them and not allowing them to die: AM has not only managed to keep the humans from taking their own lives, but has made them virtually immortal. As long as AM has its way, the torment will never end, and every day will be more horrific than the last...The story begins on the one hundred and ninth year of their torture.You can read an online copy of it here, but please note in addition to the horror it contains swearing and sexuality.Also has a computer game adaptation. It was also adapted into a comic book by John Byrne.
Contains examples of:
108: The story begins on their 109th year of torture.
Perhaps the five had overcome the sins of humanity on their 108th year...
" I am a great soft jelly thing. Smoothly rounded, with no mouth, with pulsing white holes filled by fog where my eyes used to be. Rubbery appendages that were once my arms; bulks rounding down into legless humps of soft slippery matter. I leave a moist trail when I move. Blotches of diseased, evil gray come and go on my surface, as though light is being beamed from within. Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance. Inside: Alone."
This could actually describe AM's condition as well from its point of view. It's an immensely powerful and intelligent AI with access to all of the technology of the world, but it can't really see, taste, touch, hear, or even move. AM is painfully aware that it's just a bunch of circuits, and in the finale of the game, his Id screams its frustration over not being able to actually do anything with all the power it was given.
Debatable. Ted's fate is essentially a Heroic Sacrifice, as his comrades get the death/release they've craved for over a century. The ending is just as much a kick in AM's face as it is Ted's.
Baleful Polymorph: Benny has been turned into an ape-like thing. And after Ted kills the other four survivors, AM turns him into this gelatinous form that can't possibly harm itself to make absolutely sure that he has one victim to torture forever.
Bigger Is Better in Bed: Ellen has sex with all four of the other captives, but Benny is the only one who gives her any pleasure from it...
Part of Benny's torture is that he has a horrid, apelike body with a massive member. (He was a handsome homosexual before AM caught him.)
Downer Ending: Along with the Downer Beginning, Middle and Premise.
Though if it is considered canon, which is likely given Ellison's heavy involvement and approval of it, the game has an upbeat ending where the the remnants of humanity are awakened from cryogenic sleep, giving hope for the future. Although it is usual for all but one of the characters to die, it is actually possible for all five characters to survive and move on from their pasts, making it a completely happy ending compared to the original.
Magical Computer: How exactly AM is able to affect the world inside him and apparently perform reconstructive surgery upon his victims, materialize things for them, etc. is never explained- in the book, anyway. The game explains that quite a few of his powers are due to Nimdok's research in Nazi Germany, particularly the studies on morphogenic fields, which are used to warp people and objects into new shape.
Mercy Kill: Ted (with Ellen's help) killing the other prisoners in order they may escape AM.
Mysterious Past: Nimdok often goes off by himself where AM tortures him in a mysterious way. It is inferred that it has something to do with his past in the reading by the author, who gives Nimdok a German accent.
Reality Warper: AM is very nearly a god, at least within his territory. He can't bring back the dead, and he's too big to move, but his powers are almost magical in their scope.
Ragnarok-Proofing: Unfortunately, the computer won't be breaking down anytime soon; however, it will happen eventually, in the finale of the game, it's a fact that the surviving character can use against AM's superego
Sadly Mythtaken: When the characters meet a giant bird, Ted calls it in his mind, among mythological giant birds, a "Hwaragelmir"... even though in Nordic mythology, this was the name of a chasm and not a giant bird. This mistake occured because Ellison asked a friend for the name of a mythological bird and didn't bother to check if it was correct or not.
Tastes Like Feet: Ted describes AM's synthetic "manna" as tasting "like boiled boar urine". How, exactly, he knows what "boiled boar urine" tastes like is never explained.
Unreliable Narrator: An important aspect to fully understanding the story is realizing that Ted's descriptions are not fully accurate. They're what AM has browbeaten him into believing through over a century of torture. For example, Ted rather dubiously claims to be the only sane member of the group and believes that the others are jealous of him.
Yank the Dog's Chain: This has to be one of the cruelest examples in any media. Bear in mind that for the past 109 years, the captives have been kept at starvation point, going days, weeks and sometimes even months without food, and any food they are given will inevitably be disgusting and horrible. It gets so bad that they're actually willing to travel literally thousands of miles (on foot, no less) to get to the ice caverns, where Nimdok believes there are canned goods. After months of traveling, it turns out that there are canned goods in the ice caverns after all. The problem? They have no means of opening them. That's right, after traveling for months to get to the canned goods, something as simple as not having a can-opener puts victory just outside of their reach...