Paul (reading off a card): What do women want in a modern gentleman?
Jimeoin (walking onto the dot): Big cocks.
A large penis is always welcome.
— Atia of the Julii, Rome
"He had a tremendous wang, incidentally. You never know who'll get one."
"His attraction for her is understandable. Her attraction for him? Not all that clear, really. Unless size really does matter? For me, no. Size can be uncomfortable. For her, clearly a selling feature. Because sheís been going around telling her friends about it. And her nickname for him, which she hasnít been shy about sharing, is 'Monster Cock'. Which is flattering, I guess, if youíre in college or Vegas."
David: Lionel and Lex yell at each other about being dicks, and then Lionel tries to use a magical Kryptonian Water Stone of Power that he stole from Linkís inventory screen in The Legend of Zelda: The Violin of Vathlo to switch with Lex except Clark is all NAWW and tries to stop him because he thinks itís a gun and then, in classic Smallville Ineffectual Clark style, he trades bodies with his archenemy...After that, thereís an entire television cast of attractive women for that thirsty Luthor blood to awkwardly attack as he tries to take advantage of being a 27 17 year-old high school football quarterback hero. First up on his list: Martha Kent, right after admiring his new penis. No, SERIOUSLY.
Chris: Iím starting to think that think Tom Welling smirking obliviously while looking down at his own junk is a metaphor for this entire series.