"Well, this has fuck all to do with me, so I'ma go eat a tub of ice cream and flick it 'til I pass out."Totally Legit Recap is a series of irreverent pony videos by YouTuber DWK. They fall somewhere between an Abridged Series and a review/analysis series, with a focus on raunchy meta humor that would make Deadpool proud, mixed with the occasionally surprisingly insightful analysis, Self-Deprecation, and DWK drooling over his waifus. The series began with Season 6 of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, and has just spiraled from there. It also started to cover the My Little Pony: Equestria Girls movies, until they had to be put on hiatus for season 7 of the mane series.The series can be found here.If you want your childhood intact, leave immediately.
— DWK (as Starlight)note
Okay. So. These are the fucked-up tropes in this shitshow:
- Abusive Parent:
- Trixie reveals her father was emotionally abusive to her and he may have been molesting her sister.
- Rarity's landlord in "Saddle Row Review" threatened to sell his own daughter into prostitution, if the Mane Six didn't move his drug shipment.
- Chrysalis takes the cake; she forced Stevenote to cross-dress and raped him just cuz.
- Adaptational Villainy:
- Though still more or less a good pony, Twilight is more open to extreme solutions, like threatening to have Starlight brainwash her friend, if they can not get past their personnel issues.
- Rarity's landlord in "Saddle Row Review" is also a drug dealer, who extorts the Mane Six into helping him move a bunch of pill, under threat of selling his own daughter into prostitution.
- Fleet Foot is turned from a Jerk with a Heart of Gold, into an Ax-Crazy Jerkass, who threatens to skin anypony that bothers her.
- The Wonderbolts as a whole are transformed from group of flawed, but well meaning stunt ponies/soldiers, into just a bunch of jerkasses.
- Adaptation Name Change: Thorax's name has been changed to Steve, because unfortunately the name Thorax is too cool for him.
- Affectionate Nickname: The Narrator/DWK has these for several of the characters, like Twiggles, Twiggy, or Twigs for Twilight, Glimmy/Glim or Glam for Starlight, Butter Ball or Butters for Fluttershy, Ponkers for Pinkie, Sweetie B. for Sweetie Belle, Magician Horse or Triscuit for Trixie, and Candy for Cadance.
- The Alcoholic: Pretty much every character, including DWK, who even claims that he actually records his videos drunk. DWK has also recorded a few rants that have been left mostly unedited, where he can be heard lighting up a bong and drinking beer.
- All Men Are Perverts: Sunburst, Spike, Zephyr Breeze, Discord, and pretty much everyone else, too.
- Alternate Character Interpretation: Invoked by DWK, who has many:
- His reason to explain Twilight's sudden attraction to a guy in Equestria Girls is because the EQ universe (at least in his eyes) is just like one of those animes where all teenagers are horny and depraved, just in English and with smaller breasts (to his relief and disappointment, respectively).
- He also points out that, unlike say Starlight who had a long-term goal and genuinely believed her ideology was the best, Sunset Shimmer seemed more just angry and didn't seem to have any sort of long-term plan, which he has interpreted as her just being a rebellious girl lashing out at her parental figure (Celestia).
- He believes instead of Trixie coincidentally wanting the same guitar as Rainbow Dash in the Rainbow Rocks shorts, she was really just waiting there to cause a fight to work out her own issues.
- Armor-Piercing Question:
- After Maud tries to kill herself, instead of letting other ponies get close to her:Maud: I decided to end my life, rather than undertake the monumental task of salvaging it.
Pinkie: But you're going die anyway?
Maud: Obviously, what's your point?
Pinkie: My point is that if death is certain anyway, then what's the harm in trying to live a little longer? At the very worst, you'll still end up dead like you wanted, but at best you might actually be happy.
- In "28 Pranks Later", after the rest of the town pulls a pretty harsh prank on Rainbow Dash, that involves making her think she killed everyone she'd ever cared about to teach her a lesson about acting out of character, she asks them if doing that was out of character for them. Cue horrifying realization.
- After Maud tries to kill herself, instead of letting other ponies get close to her:
- Artistic License – Music: DWK points out that there are enough of these in Rainbow Rocks to fill up the entire video, so he decides not to bother pointing them out after the first couple examples.
- Ass Shove:
- Twilight apparently keeps the solutions to magical problems literally in her ass.
- In S6 E21, Fluttershy mentions finding a Trapdoor Spider in her "backdoor". Starlight confirms she was the one to put it there.
- Episode 22 has Twilight threaten to send the ponies who piss her off to the dungeon so they can be Starlight's personal butt-slaves for a week.
- Starlight threatens to do this to the tiny ballerina version of Twilight in "A Royal Problem" if Twilight doesn't shut up.
- As You Know: Parodied.
- He says this word-for-word when the Crystal Heart is destroyed in Season 6 Episode 1, but then goes on to explain a concept that no one in the audience could've even expected, especially since the episode had more or less been a straight recap before that.
- He does this in several episodes, either having the characters lean on the fourth wall by bringing up the possibility of "having an expository conversation", or by Starlight questioning why everyone is acting like she doesn't know stuff.
- Author Appeal:
- DWK seems to love rap music. He has Discord spit a few bars to distract some changelings, and invokes a new dance move with the "Twigly Wiggle" after Twilight learns how to walk in Equestria Girls.
- DWK really likes characters who go through a redemption arc, which is why he likes Sunset Shimmer and Starlight Glimmer so much.
- Author Filibuster: Once in a while, DWK will break off his narration to discuss a topic he cares about. The entirety of Season 6, Episode 17 is one of these, with DWK explaining in excruciating detail why he doesn't like Discord's character, saying his redemption arc is unbelievable.
- Aww, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: On very rare occasions, we get to see the character genuinely getting along.
- Sunset Shimmer is portrayed as notably more unhinged, even allegedly stabbing Rainbow Dash, so she would not be able to meet Applejack for their date— we mean, bake sale— and her first instinct on meeting the villains of the second movie is to bash their skulls in with a pipe, since she doesn't have magic at the moment.
- Fleetfoot is shown making a series of bizarre threats in "Parental Glideance" to anyone who even mildly annoys her. She threatens Rainbow Dash's dad that she'll bite his face off and wear it to scare children after he interrupted flight practice.
- Badass Baritone: Flurry Heart of all ponies, thanks to Shining making Deal with the Devil to get her mother to marry him.
- Became Their Own Antithesis: After pulling the zombie prank on Rainbow Dash to get back at her for her earlier actions and the even bigger crime of acting out of character, she calls them out on their hypocrisy, pointing out that not only have they sunk to her level, but were acting out of character themselves! Cue horrifying realization.
- Big, Screwed-Up Family:
- Maud claims her and Pinkie's family is this, and it's one the reason she wants to cut herself off from civilization.Maud: Pinkie, look at our family's track record with offspring; I know we call our business a rock farm, but it would be more accurate to call it a personality disorder farm. Because that's the only thing we actually produce. It's better if I don't have biological offspring and I'll be happy with my rock children.
- Also heavily implied with the Apple family:Apple Bloom: Just do what we do on the farm: Beat her with a shovel and make her sleep outside.
- Maud claims her and Pinkie's family is this, and it's one the reason she wants to cut herself off from civilization.
- Black Comedy: There have been jokes about such lovely subjects as alcoholism, drug abuse, sexual abuse, suicide, brainwashing, and demonic possession.
- Bratty Teenage Daughter:
- Twilight believes this is the reason The Humane Five were so easily torn apart and refused to work things out. Also, why the other alicorns didn't want to come to the EQG universe personally.
- Alternate Character Interpretation of Sunset Shimmer paints her this way. He sees her as someone without any sort of master plan, instead suggesting that she's just really angry at her parental figure, and all of the first Equestria Girls movie is a teenage rebellion gone way out of control. DWK's
- Brother–Sister Incest: Occasionally alluded to, between both Applejack and Big Mac and Twilight and Shining Armor, but never outright stated.
- Brutal Honesty: One part of DWK's style — every character tends to be so blunt, they'd likely be slapped in real life. Taken to its logical extreme with Maud in Season 6 Episode 3: she's so blunt that she can make anyone feel like a horrible failure in a few words.Maud: You're a sleazy street-grifter with obvious hormonal deficiencies who cons people out of things that bring them joy amidst this nightmarish imprisonment in flesh we call existence. There's nothing I could do that would make your life worse, you absolute abortion of a person.
- Cargo Shipping: Made to occur in-universe and taken to the extreme with Maud, who tries to marry her Imaginary Friend, Boulder, and move to a desolate canyon, to take care of their "children", because she's too scared of interacting with other ponies and would rather just delude herself into thinking she was happy settling down with nothing but rocks in her life.
- Contrived Coincidence: Lampshaded when Starlight calls shenanigans on just how contrived it is that her childhood friend who Twilight says she is supposed to go reconnect with just so happens to be living in The Crystal Empire when Twilight is going there for a visit. Twilight warns her her not to question these plot conveniences or she will fuck her up.
- Country Matters: The Equestria Girls version of Fluttershy describes Sunset Shimmer summarily by calling her a cunt.
- Crack Pairing: He speculates that Zesty Gourmand is the offspring of Lord Voldemort and Tilda Swinton who somehow fell through the portal to Equestria. For the rest of the episode, he calls her Tildamort.
- Creepy Child: Played for Laughs with Flurry Heart, do to owing her existence in part to a Deal with the Devil her father made, her soul has been tainted with demonic forces, giving her surprising amount of self awareness and an even more surprising deep voice for a baby.
- Creepy Cute:
- In "A Hearth's Warming Tale", The Ghost of Hearth's Warming Yet to Come is described as "horrifying Eldritch Abomination with the head of a waifu."
- Also, Flurry Heart as stated above.
- Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon: Fleetfoot makes a series of bizarre threats in the recap for "Parental Glideance," such as telling Rainbow Dash that she'll "make a suit out of your parents' skin and fuck you while wearing it."
- The Cynic: DWK and by extension, pretty much the whole cast.
- A Date with Rosie Palms: This is brought up a surprising amount of times by a wide variety of characters.Spike: Why does everyone we know have so many fucking interpersonal problems?
Twilight: It's because you touch yourself at night, Spike.
Spike: Dude, if that's how it worked, everyone in this town would have murdered each other years ago.
- Deal with the Devil: Shining Armor and Twilight apparently made one for the soul of his first born in exchange for having Princess "Candy" Cadance fall in love with him. This predictably causes problems when Flurry Heart is born...
- Death by Adaptation:
- Gladmane or "Pelvis" as DWK calls him, is stated to have committed suicide off-screen after his Engineered Public Confession Viva Las Pegasus ruined his scam and his destroyed his career.
- Apparently Zippoorwhill (a child) died of cranial trauma, after Rarity accidentally hit her on the head.
- Deus ex Machina: Lampshaded as Starlight explains the only thing Chrysalis could have never prepared for is this trope, because by its nature you can't see it coming, right before she has Steve lovecannon his mom into her throne.
- Did They or Didn't They?: To Spike's horror, Twilight sheepishly suggests that she got busy with Flash in the bathroom during the Fall Formal Dance, only to admit she was just pulling Spike's tail. Then she winks at the camera. Rarity strongly implies that they did when she says Twilight is no longer a virgin and Twilight eventually confirms it herself.
- Dirty Coward: Trixie immediately proves her true colors when things really go wrong.Trixie: [mumbling] God I fucking hate Twilight so much; I hope she gets impaled on a manticore d—.
Starlight: Dude, everyone's changelings.
Trixie: Oh my god! Where's Twilight? We have to tell Twilight!
- Does This Remind You of Anything?:
- After Thorax/Steve reveals that he disguises himself as Starlight to buy the real one more time, we have this little exchange:Thorax: Hi, Mom.
Chrysalis: Oh, Steven, I suppose it's only fitting you returned to me disguised as a female. You never did have any balls.
- After Discord's magic fails to help them infiltrate the changeling hive:Discord: Look, this has never happened to me before, I swear, just hold on a minute...
Trixie: Don't worry, buddy, I think they got pills for this.
- After Thorax/Steve reveals that he disguises himself as Starlight to buy the real one more time, we have this little exchange:
- Downer Ending: "28 Pranks Later" end with the entire town having an existential crisis. Played for Laughs, of course.
- Driven to Suicide: Discussed and played for laughs. Several times.
- After realizing he's analyzing My Little Pony again, in Equestria Girls DWK says he's going to have a bleach martini and a side of noose.
- Earlier, while praising Twilight for keeping a level head despite being in a strange new world, he says that if he was in her situation, he would probably just panic, before going to the nearest bar, then jump off a bridge because he would be too young to drink.
- Gladmane is stated to have killed himself by jumping off of Las Pegasus, after the gang's engineered public confession destroyed his business.
- In the second part of "To Where and Back Again", when asked by Starlight if she has her show supplies, Trixie responds that she has a fog machine, strobe lights, and enough booze to kill a horse... specifically, herself, but she says she can refrain from doing that in the meantime.
- In a surprising move, this is not played for laughs in the "Rock Solid Friendship" video, where Maud almost lets a Quarry Eel eat her, after becoming friends with Starlight made her realize she was deluding herself by cutting herself off from everypony but rocks — and yet she still couldn't bring herself to try and give real ponies other a chance.
- Drowning My Sorrows: While many of the characters engage in this, the greatest example is DWK himself. He occasionally has to pause in a filibuster to chug one down, and says that it's the only thing that gets him through the day.DWK: You're talking to a guy who thinks beer is a food group.
- Dysfunction Junction: The Mane Six, as lampshaded by the ending of "Every Little Thing She Does".Starlight: Look dudes, whatever Twilight and her stupid friendship lesson say, I know I'll probably never be a part of your clique and I'm okay with that. I mean, I'm a crazy bitch who's barely capable of casual social interaction.
Mane Six: Yep, you sure are. And that's why you fit right in.
- Easily Forgiven:
- Starlight, just like in the show proper and even lampshaded by Starlight. Though it's zigzagged somewhat, in that Twilight uses her guilt over her previous actions to keep her on track:Starlight: In what society that operates on any kind of logic whatsoever does trying to destroy life as we know it, net you an apprenticeship with the leader of the free world?
Twilight: Well dude, you just answered your own question. Now that I have replaced all of Celestia's narrative impractical functionalities, this is my house and I make the rules. So, rather than turn you to stone or send you to Tartarus, you get to be my student!
Twilight: You know Starlight, let me explain something to you; you stole a bunch of innocent ponies' cutie marks and brain washed them into rejecting everything that made them special, but I thought hay everyone makes mistakes. Then you tried to do the same thing to me and my friends, but I said "You know what, she's a troubled individual and I can help her." Then you tried to destroy everything I've ever worked for and damn me and everyone I love to miserable shadows of the lives we have earned for ourselves, and I gave you a pass on that. I've put up with a lot of your shit, but if you question my plot conveniences, I will fuck you up. OK? OK.
- In "Saddle Row Review", the Mane Six (minus Rarity) are taken into police interrogation for their part in a drug ring. Luckily since this is Equestria, they are free to go as long as they promise the police they won't do it again.
- Starlight, just like in the show proper and even lampshaded by Starlight. Though it's zigzagged somewhat, in that Twilight uses her guilt over her previous actions to keep her on track:
- Eldritch Abomination: The "Old Gods" are mentioned several times. They seem to be near-omnipotent beings who will do whatever you want- in exchange for your soul.
- Erudite Stoner: DWK comes across as this during his more serious moments. He even uses Tree Hugger as his Author Avatar, who already has a common Alternate Character Interpretation as being a stoner.
- Family-Unfriendly Aesop: Invoked by DWK in lieu of the usual moral of the day: Sometimes you shouldn't always listen to your elders, as they may be full of shit.
- Fanservice: Invoked by Luna, who claims her and Celestia only showed up during Flurry Heart's birthday to please bronies.
- Forced Meme: Invoked in S6E18, when Rainbow Dash (World Champion of Meme Faces) tells Fluttershy that meme faces are more important to the game, than actually knowing how to play.
- Freeze-Frame Bonus: Many of the captions go by far too quick to be read the first time without knowing they're there. There's also a Running Gag of Rainbow Dash shooting herself in the mouth whenever DWK jokes about the show upsetting him, but it's only briefly onscreen each time he uses it.
- Freudian Excuse: Trixie reveals that she has some serious Parental Issues which may have given her a Inferiority Superiority Complex.Trixie: You sound just like my dad: You're not good at anything, Trixie. You're not pretty enough, Trixie. You don't get special hugs and massages like your sister does, Trixie!
- The Friend Nobody Likes: Starlight is treated as this among the Mane Six, sans Twilight and Spike. At one point, Fluttershy of all ponies outright says nobody likes her. They do, however, quickly reassure her that her crippling array of personality disorders makes her fit right in with their circle of friends.
- Hard-Drinking Party Girl: Celestia used to be one in college, if "A Royal Problem" is any indication. Daybreaker still acts this way, telling Celestia to ditch Luna and start acting more "alpha".
- Heroic Comedic Sociopath: Twilight, to an extent, as she's quick to threaten bodily harm when annoyed that others aren't taking her friendship lessons to heart. DWK maintains that she just knows the value of a good bitch-slap when people are acting up.
- Hidden Depths:
- Hidden deep under DWK/the narrator's cynical, snarky, perverted, crude, and alcoholic personality lies a surprisingly insightful fan who has a great appreciation for the show, its morals, and characters, even if he loves to poke fun at them. The narrator is also shown to have some deeply-rooted personal issues and cynicism, as noted in his recap of "Flutter Brutter", where Zephyr Breeze's personality and character flaws really hit close to home for the narrator.
- Twilight makes it clear that deep down, she still wants to do the right thing and help everypony, even if her methods can be... questionable.
- Scootaloo is implied to be one of the more insightful characters and is definitely wiser than her big sister figure Rainbow Dash.Scootaloo: [to Apple Bloom, after she starts to think they're growing apart] Dude, we just want to have hobbies. What's the big deal.
Apple Bloom: But I don't like change.
Scootaloo: Dude. Apple Bloom, life changes all the time and you just have to deal with it you know. I mean, if you can't cope with change, your life is just going to be a waking nightmare of constant dread, as you wonder if today is going to be the one that shatters your fragile illusion of a status quo, you'll be a nervous reclusive wreck of a person and that kind of life's not worth living. Also having hobbies is neat.
Rainbow: Bra, you don't fucking get it, I've been dealing with this shit my entire life. When somethings been bothering you since you were a kid, it can be pretty hard to be cool with it, because it puts you back in that headspace where you were young and confused about your feelings.
Scootaloo: No man, I do get it. Most people have an elaborate interconnected web of bullshit with their parents and it spans a life time and I guess it's not fair for an outsider to come bursting in and making judgement, but part of becoming an adult is processing those clusterfucks of poorly defined emotion you had as a kid and dealing with them in a constructive manner.
Rainbow: Dude! You're like twelve man, how are you saying all these psychologist words?
Scootaloo: Because this is the part of the video where this pretensions pseudo-intellectual faggot, does the oh so deep life lesson bit, and I'm the only other character in this scene, so shut the fuck up.
- Starlight apparently has a successful hip-hop career on the side.
- Idiot Ball: Twilight and Spike share a "Common Sense Switch" between them, and whoever it's flipped on towards will be the rational one for the episode while the other's dumb ideas will drive the plot. Most clearly seen when Twilight attempts to babysit while running a bunch of errands, including visiting a hospital of sick children, and going through all the trouble of winning back her stolen crown instead of just taking it back (albeit with a belated justification), all over Spike's consistent and rational objections. "Celestial Advice" even shows that they change the switch at will, and apparently just take turns with it.
- I Hate Past Me: In "A Royal Problem", Daybreaker represents Celestia's old Facebook account from when she was in college. Naturally, Celestia hates all of the things she posted back when she did keg stands every night.
- The Internet Is for Porn: Discussed in "Celestial Advice." After Celestia says "There is no wrong way to fantasize," DWK mocks people who say things like "she hasn't seen my porn folder," saying that they're not the raging perverts that they think they are.
- Irony: In Equestria Girls, Twilight points out that, despite being a borderline misanthrope only a few months prior, she is now the princess of friendship, or as she puts it, the princess of caring about other peoples problems.
- It's All About Me: The narrator/DWK states this as the reason he could never get into post-Heel–Face Turn Discord, like he did with Sunset Shimmer and Starlight Glimmer. More specifically, while the latter two are shown to be actively trying to become better people/ponies for its own sake and slowly but surely shown becoming progressively nicer, Discord continues to act like a smug Jerkass and only feels sorry or admits he's at fault when his actions risk damaging his personal relationships.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold:
- Despite her willingness to resort to extreme solutions and her more skewed idea of morality, at the end of the day, Twilight still generally wants to do the right thing.
- Pretty much every character is this to varying degrees.
- Knight in Sour Armor: DWK himself. As with Hidden Depths above, the morals of most of the more serious episodes are kept intact and even expanded on, the themes of redemption and self improvement are always at the forefront, and he has very little patience for the more amoral characters like Discord. This is of course well hidden under profanity, sex jokes and the Character Exaggeration of everyone's flaws, but is still fairly obvious.
- Likes Older Women:
- After considering whether or not Cheerilee's older than the Mane Six, DWK says if she is, it makes the fact that she wore a cheerleader outfit to a the cart race even hotter.
- He also considers Rainbow's mom a MILF. Though as he points out immediately afterwards, since most of the female ponies, including her, are just Palette Swaps of each other with minor alterations, her age really doesn't factor in that much.
- In "The Crystalling - Part 2," he points out an elderly female pony who looks 70 but sounds like she's 20. Followed by a picture of a male pony with the caption "That is my fetish".
- Loophole Abuse: When Twilight tries to scold Spike for following her through the portal despite Celestia telling them nobody else was allowed to, he uses the fact that he was somehow turned into a dog instead of a person as justification, since he's apparently not considered a person.
- Male Gaze:
- DWK is constantly distracted whenever a new waifu is introduced, most notably Sunset Shimmer, who causes him to stop the video and describe everything he likes about her.
- He's also briefly entranced after seeing Cheerilee in a cheerleader outfit.
- After commenting on what a MILF Windy Whistles is, DWK stutters as the camera slowly zooms in on her butt.
- The Mind Is a Plaything of the Body: Twilight's sudden infatuation with a boy she just met in Equestria Girls is explained as the result of her now inhabiting a hormonal teenage anime body, and that it's taking all her mental strength to not totally jump Flash's bones. Wasn't strong enough, it turns out.
- Mood-Swinger: Princess Luna goes between being friendly and caring towards Starlight to almost cussing her out, during their meetings in the season 6 finale. According to her, this is because of the stress of having to deal with ponies in the dream world every night.Luna: If I can go one night without seeing someone fuck their own mom, it's a good night.
- Morality Pet: Being friends with Starlight is what gave Trixie the courage and drive to go from only caring about herself to willing to perform a Heroic Sacrifice to save the day.
- Nice Guy: DWK admires Spike for being this, in spite of the lack of respect he is given and even claims that he envies Spike's ability to take things in stride and always be there for his friends.
- Not So Different: Maud points out that she and Rarity are both ponies who put their work ahead of finding somepony to settle down with. Rarity is understandably disturbed by this notion.
- Obviously Evil: Lampshaded with the Dazzlings when they introduce themselves to Sunset in a blatantly menacing manner. Sonata calls out Adagio on how unnecessary it was while Adagio defends it on the grounds that it makes for good foreshadowing. Sonata doesn't buy it, pointing out the Sirens were already established as the villains so further foreshadowing is pointless.
- Official Couple: Starlight and Trixie. DWK even backs it up with Trixie's line "The Starlight I love is passionate."DWK: So if you think I'm pulling this relationship out of nowhere, fuckin' eat me.
- Older Than They Look: Despite still technically being a "baby" dragon, Spike is revealed to be considered a legal adult by Equestrian standards and even engages in some the more risque actions the other characters partake in.
- Palette Swap: Discussed. While admitting that Dash's mom is a total MILF, DWK notes that females use the same character model with few exceptions throughout the show, so "when we argue over who's the cutest, we're really arguing over colors and shapes."
- Precision F-Strike: At least Once per Episode.
- Quit Your Whining: Spike tells Twilight to shut up when she whines about her insecurities to him, because as he put it: when people as happy and successful as her feel insecure, they're basically spitting on those beneath them.
- Reality Ensues: The driving conflict of one episode is replaced when Apple Bloom realizes that now that they're older and developing their own independent interests, her and her friends will likely start growing further apart, possibly even going their separate ways entirely.
- Real Men Wear Pink: DWK of course, if much to his annoyance, loves My Little Pony and even heavily implies he collects some of the dolls. Also, his first instinct on seeing the Dazzlings in their standard outfits is to critique their choices in fashion.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: DWK respects Dragon Lord Torch for being this and the most badass-looking dragon, and even argues that he deserves to stay in power over any other dragon.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech:
- DWK gives one to Trixie, after she immediately start acting like a coward during "To Where and Back Again" from finding out about the changelings.DWK: Oh Trixie, you talk such a big game and act like such a badass, but when shit gets real you scream like a little girl and toss away your last shred of dignity like a used prophylactic. No wonder you wanted to kill yourself, after having one fight with Starlight. You literally have nothing else.
- Maud gives one to the sleazy guy who conned her sister out her cannon:Maud: That belongs to my sister, give it back.
Guy: Oh yeah, what you going to do about it?
Maud: Nothing, you're a sleazy street grifter with obvious hormonal deficiencies who cons people out of things that bring them joy amidst this nightmarish imprisonment of flesh we call existence. There is nothing I can do that would make your life worse, you absolute abortion of a person.
- DWK gives a couple to Sweetie Belle in "On Your Marks" for... being optimistic and confident about her life, instead of a miserable pessimist:DWK: You know she's thinking I'm not good at this, but I'm going to keep trying till I get better and it's going to be so much fun. you fucking tiny horses with your relentless positivity and your self-esteem, just try it once fail, quit forever, and feel ashamed like a normal person.
Sweetie Belle: You don't have to be good at something to have fun.
DWK: And I'm like, no goddammit Sweetie Belle, you don't have to be good at something to have fun, you have some kind of weird inherent sense of self-worth and confidence, normal people don't have that, if I'm not good at something, I fucking hate myself.
- The CMC give one to the adults for ruining the elementary school cart race:CMC: You know what, fuck you guys! We just asked for your help, so we could have some fun and you made it about you. It's always about you guy, you're a bunch of self-important control freaks and you fucked up everyone's day, because you couldn't contain your massive egos.
- Twilight gives one to Sunset Shimmer at the end of Equestria Girls, while also trying to talk her down:Twilight: Dude, you need to grow up man, this is retarded and you know it.
Sunset: But I am grown-up Twilight, that's why it's so easy for me to manipulate these vapid clueless teenagers and now that I have my own personal army of impressionable young people, I'll have emotional validation for the rest of my life.
Twilight: Bro, these kids right here are more mature than you are. Listen up you dumb whore, becoming an adult is not about a number. It doesn't magically happen when you reach a certain age. It happens when stop being a selfish tool and realize there are more important things in this world than your stupid little feelings. I'm fucking terrified about being a princess, but I'm just going to fucking do it, because the world doesn't revolve around my emotions. Get what I'm saying?
- Apple Bloom calmly and politely points out how incompetent as parents a couple her and the rest of the CMC were hired help are in "The Fault in Our Cutie Marks" (not even counting that they go to twelve year olds for parenting advice):Apple Bloom: Have you ever like, met your daughter?
Father: What do you mean?
Apple Bloom: Oh I don't know, I mean I'm an orphan myself, so what do I know. Right? But generally I get this impression that when people have kids, they sometimes you know, talk to them. Like "hey,child I gave birth to, what's going on with you? Got any hobbies?" Crazy as it sounds, some of these people - they're called parents by the way - um, actually do this on a regular basis. So when the child say, I don't know, goes through some kind of personal right of passage that essentially determines what she's going to be doing for the rest of her life, they can be like "oh hey, props on being good at that thing that you like we totally know about." Now, I'm not knocking you guys or anything, I'm sure you've got lots of dinner parties, wine tastings, and school reunions to go to. And I mean priorities, right? But do you recall ever having a passing conversation with your daughter that didn't revolve around who's taking care of her for the evening?
Sweetie Belle: To put that more succinctly, you're shitty people.
Apple Bloom: That's what I was going for.
- DWK gives one to Trixie, after she immediately start acting like a coward during "To Where and Back Again" from finding out about the changelings.
- Scary Black Man: This seems to be Torch the (former) Dragon Lord's character.Torch: Did I say you could leave, nigga?
- Self-Deprecation: The Narrator pokes fun at himself and the brony community, almost as much as he does the actual show, either through captions appearing over the footage or outright stating it:
- He repeatedly tells himself to shut up through captions, after he goes on a long tangent.
- At one point, he compares himself to a hobo playing a guitar on the street, for booze money to help forget about their pathetic lives.
- He also bemoans whenever he puts a surprising amount of thought into a franchise focusing on magical ponies.
- This exchange:Fluttershy: You're coming with me and you're getting a job.
Zephyr Breeze: Dude, I don't need a job! My mane therapy YouTube channel is totally taking off. I've almost got a hundred subscribers and my Patreon—
Fluttershy: You're getting a fucking job.
- The ending of "The Cart Before the Ponies" has the Aesop: when adults hijack something that was meant for kids, they ruin it.
- Serious Business: Acting Out of Character is treated as such, as it could lead to Flanderization and eventually becoming a boring character.
- Sex for Services:
- Played for laughs, when Starlight offers Sunburst (who's still a virgin) sex to get out of having to tell him what she's been doing with her life.
- In the opening to Rainbow Rocks, the Dazzlings are debating doing this to improve their lives, until an opportunity to restore their power without prostitution suddenly arises.
- Shapeshifting Squick: Spike takes advantage of being a dog during his stay in the human world as an excuse to finally lick his own balls. Twilight is appropriately disgusted by the idea.
- Shut Up, Kirk!: At the end of Equestria Girls, Twilight tries to come to an understanding with Sunset and end the situation peacefully, telling Sunset that she needs to grow up, only for Sunset to tell Twilight to go fuck herself. Big mistake.Twilight: Alright, I tried. Let's fucking smash her.
- Silly Rabbit, Cynicism Is for Losers!: A lot of the Alternate Aesop Interpretations from DWK come off this way, especially in regards to growing up and being an adult. Even a few cynical characters who deliver An Aesop often preach the message that stewing in your unhappiness isn't going to make anything better, and since we're all going to die anyway, we may as well enjoy the time we have.
- Sir Swears Alot: The entire cast swear like a bunch of sailors.
- Stating the Simple Solution: In Equestria Girls, Spike repeatedly points out that it would much simpler to just steal the crown from Principal Celestia instead of risking everything on a popularity contest. Spike even insists it wouldn't be stealing in Twilight's case, since the crown is hers. He points this out to both Twilight and Sunset Shimmer, but neither of them listen. Twilight points out that doing it this way gives her a chance to help the people of the EG universe, but Sunset Shimmer doesn't offer a reason why, calling Spike's suggestion "uncalled for".
- The Stoner: The Narrator claims to be one, and also Tree Hugger by association since he uses her to represent himself. During his drunk rambling on Sunset Shimmer, the narrator can be audibly heard lighting a bong.
- Stoners Are Funny: DWK invokes this in regards to his narration. Defied in the show though in regards to Fleetfoot and EG Vinyl Scratch.
- Suspiciously Specific Denial:
- Twilight claims that being an alicorn princess doesn't make her better or more important than the others... despite nopony bringing that up.
- In Equestria Girls, Spike goes on a tangent about Hasbro's poor decisions towards making the dolls, that could have been much better, to which the narrator claims are totally Spike's opinions and he personally doesn't like dolls. Later, after Spike brings up the Monster High dolls and series Equestria Girls was allegedly made to compete with, he even calls Spike gay for watching something "I would NEVER watch...".
- In Rainbow Rocks, DWK specifically states that he wasn't eagerly waiting for the sequel to the first movie or that the Rainbooms' first song makes him tear up every time, after a year of waiting in a broken chaotic existence for one of the few things that gives him solace. Simply not the case.
- Take That!:
- Celestia describes the girl's toy aisle as an unholy land, where friendship means nothing and only money matters.
- The Narrator repeatedly criticizes Equestria Girls not because Hasbro decided to do the project, but because they could have put a lot more effort into making dolls of the same quality as their Monster High competition.
- "If talking things out was an option, the teen-drama genre would vanish."
- The Humane Five make fun of "Brad" (Flash Sentry) in his first scene in the sequel and even tell Sunset that while they can get over the whole turning into a demon thing, they will give her crap for dating him.
- Also from Rainbow Rocks:Adagio: Aria, if you can figure out a way to absorb negative energy through the Internet, we can take over the entire fucking multiverse in a day.
- Team Mom: The narrator ultimately decides that instead of the all-powerful and infinitely wise god empress she was originally thought to be, Celestia is more of a mother figure to all of Equestria, as in she's been around the longest and although sometimes it seems like she's full of it and not always right, you should probably just listen to her.
- Tempting Fate:
- "Gauntlet of Fire" gets this worse than the actual episode.
- When Twilight starts to worry about if she really wants the responsibility of being a princess, in Equestria Girls, Spike tells her to just deal with it, because it's not like she can just go back to being a teenager.
- In "Gauntlet of Fire", Luna expresses enjoyment while having tea with Twilight, believing nothing could possibly interrupt their meeting...
- In "Flutter Brutter", Fluttershy and her family began the episode discussing how great their lives are going; Fluttershy's father has just retired and her parents can spend their golden years together, Fluttershy is a hero who spends her time with royalty alongside her best friend Rainbow Dash, who is like a member of their family, and absolutely nothing can ruin it... Cue her slacker younger brother Zephyr Breeze barging in to continue mooching off their parents.
- This Is the Part Where...: "The Crystalling - Part 1" ends with the others expecting Twilight to quickly fix everything. She explains that she can't.
- This Loser Is You: Constantly lampshaded by the narrator, whenever something in the show could be be interpreted this way, with a dose of Self-Deprecation on the side.
- Too Dumb to Live: Rainbow Dash comes across as this several times during "Newbie Dash". Her friends tell her the obvious solution, and she does pretty much the exact opposite.
- Took a Level in Jerkass: Due to DWK's style, everyone. If a character doesn't swear, drink, do drugs, make sexual comments, or smoke, there's something wrong. Starlight Glimmer in particular is portrayed as an autistic, depressed, perverted alcoholic who turns her friends into her sex slaves on a whim.
- Too Much Information: Maud Pie's descriptions of her and Boulder's... relationship.
- Toxic Friend Influence:
- While well-meaning, it is blatantly obvious that Rainbow Dash is a terrible influence on Scootaloo.Rainbow: Sweet! Scoot's, we're going out for margaritas.
Scootaloo: I'm twelve.
Rainbow: Don't worry, they have the little ones.
Scootaloo: I woke up in a urinal three days ago and I'm positive it's your fault.
- This is even Lamp Shaded in "Parental Glideance", where Rainbow Dash tries to use the whole "I'm the one that should be teaching you line.", only for Scoots to immediately call bull-crap on that, saying that line may work for the other members of the CMC and their sisters, but it does not for their relationship.
- While well-meaning, it is blatantly obvious that Rainbow Dash is a terrible influence on Scootaloo.
- Trademark Favorite Food: For some reason, all of the characters love chicken tenders (and, of course, anything with alcohol in it).
- Transparent Closet:
- Spike and Ember both accuse Garble of being this in "Gauntlet of Fire."
- DWK also accuses Starlight of trying to act straight when it's clear she's not.
- Princess Ember is a stereotypical tsundere, who "totally doesn't want Spike's nuts" and calls him baka, yet still follows him around and gives him romantic gazes.
- Also, Adagio tells Aria to act this way to be a better waifu.
- The Un-Reveal: DWK has said he will "never, ever, ever, EVER" do a face-reveal video as long as the possibility exists that he will someday have to get a real job. Also because he doesn't want to.
- Vitriolic Best Buds: Despite their relationship being dysfunctional at best, the Mane Six are still friends at least to some extent.
- Vocal Dissonance: Since our narrator is male, saying all of a mostly female cast's lines, this is inevitable. Also, aside from Maud Pie (for whom he uses a relatively high pitched monotone) and Flurry Heart (who is given a deep, demonic voice), he uses the exact same gravelly voice for every character regardless of how high or low their real voice is. This can become problematic in scenes with multiple characters on screen with no clear visual clues, on who is talking.
- What Do You Mean, It's for Kids?: DWK points out that the Dazzlings' manipulation incorporates some very suggestive dancing, maybe a little inappropriate for the target audience.
- What the Hell, Hero?:
- DWK gives a one to Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity in "The Cart Before the Ponies" for selfishly using their sisters' projects as an excuse to have to have a race for their own selfish reasons. Promptly subverted as he says it makes him feel closer to them.DWK: OK, you just lived through a twenty-car fucking pile-up and you're mad that your carts are wrecked! You all could have died! It's a fucking miracle no-one broke a leg or some shit! What if one of the CMC got their spine shattered and ended up a quadriplegic for the rest of their life?! Would that get your fucking attention? Hahaha, Scootaloo can't fly; wouldn't it be funny if she couldn't fucking walk either?!
- Rainbow Dash gives one to the rest of Ponyville, after they try to teach her a lesson, by tricking her into thinking she turned everyone she cared about into zombies.Rainbow: What the dick-licking fuck is wrong with you guys?! Why would you do this to me?!
Applejack: Well, you were being a massive tool, so we decided to give you a taste of your own medicine. Simple as that.
Rainbow: No! Fuck you man! Ok, I'll admit that maybe I got a little carried away, but you just made me think I killed everyone I ever cared about.
- Subverted again in "Every Little Thing She Does", where Twilight tells off Starlight for brainwashing their for her own convenience... but in the very next episode, she admits she was more mad she didn't think of it herself, and even threatens to have Starlight brainwash someone for her on a couple occasions.
- DWK gives a one to Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity in "The Cart Before the Ponies" for selfishly using their sisters' projects as an excuse to have to have a race for their own selfish reasons. Promptly subverted as he says it makes him feel closer to them.
- Working Class People Are Morons: Applejack is extremely poor and so Book Dumb that Twilight is shocked that she even knows how to write.
- Worth Living For: Invoked by Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle in "Parental Glideance", while trying to convince Scootaloo to back out of a particularly dangerous stunt, she claims she has nothing to lose, do to having no family to miss her and already being physically impaired, only for her friends to point out that they would be upset if she got hurt. Unfortunately it's already too late to stop when she starts reconsidering things, but fortunately she still makes it out OK.
- Trixie towards Starlight.
- And Starlight towards Sunburst, as she threatens to cut his balls off if he doesn't hang out with her again.
Ah'right. Time to go drink a fifth and jack off. Not necessarily in that order.