Wrestling: Joey Ryan

Legalize Sleaze
On May 24th, 2012, for Impact Wrestling's second Gut Check Challenge, TNA introduced a young man with a Pornstache by the name of Joey Ryan. Joey, a brash, outspoken young man who looked for all the world like if Jon Lajoie was a 1970s porn star, was an experienced wrestler who had performed for many independent promotions. In his tryout match, he was defeated by Austin Aries. The next week, when it came time for the judges to make their decision on hiring Joey, Al Snow said yes, and Bruce Prichard and Taz gave a resounding no. To say Joey was unhappy with the decision would be a vast Understatement.

For the next several months, Joey Ryan would make his presence known on every Gut Check segment, heckling the judges and even tossing his drinks at them. Through his Youtube account, Joey would call out Taz for his shortsightedness and failure to recognize his talent, before turning his attention to Al Snow as well. Throughout all these promos, he'd refer to his supporters as "the 87%ers," based off a poll on TNA's website on whether Joey should get a contract. Finally, Al Snow called out Joey on the October 4th edition of Impact and suckered him into a match at Bound For Glory, with a TNA contract on the line. Joey won that match with the assistance of a sudden appearance of, and subsequent alliance with, Matt Morgan.

Joey Ryan has been wrestling for over a decade. In July of 2013, Joey was released from his TNA contract and became a free agent.


These tropes associated with Joey Ryan are brought to you by the 87%ers:

  • Badass Mustache/Pornstache: Purposefully tailored to be sexy, or what her perceives as such
  • Breast Attack: Many of his so called intergender matches involve him using a move called the "Boobplex", where he hits his female opponent with a German suplex using her breasts as the handle; in turn, his girlfriend and tag team partner Candice LeRae has a variation she does involving male opponents' crotches appropriately dubbed the "Ballsplex".
  • Carpet of Virility: With an impressive hairline going down to his belly button
  • Casanova Wannabe/Disco Dan: It was a lot more prominent on the Indys, but there are still whispers of it now. His most popular gimmick was a sleazy lecherous creep who acted like he was pulled right out of the 70s.
  • Cool Shades: Especially as Joey Hollywood, with white rims.
  • Crowd Chant: Los Gallineros got "KFC", "Pollo Loco" and rooster calls
  • Early Installment Weirdness: Ryan used to have much shorter hair, a much thinner mustache, fingerless gloves, and be a much more serious competitor, to say nothing of El Gallinero.
  • Eccentric Mentor: Brian Kendrick, which makes more sense when you remember the Gallinero gimmick.
  • It's All About Me
  • Large Ham
  • Masked Luchador: He was El Gallinero #1
  • Perky Female Minion: Chase Walker was accompanied by Trisha LaFache in the Wrestling Retribution Project. Jade Chung as part of The Dynasty
  • Power Stable: The Embassy in Ring of Honor
  • Power Trio: Los Gallineros, he being the first El Gallinero of the three
  • Real Men Wear Pink: Pink knee pads with red and white trunks, really, it works!
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: On his "Joey Ryan Has A Camera & A YouTube Account" series, Joey would deliver some long-winded ones, weekly, to Taz and Al Snow. This is just one such effort.
  • Shout-Out: During a Pro Wrestling Guerilla appearance, he surprised the audience with this impression of Andy Kaufman, of all people.
  • Small Name, Big Ego: The catalyst behind his 2012 campaign/feud.
  • Smug Snake
  • Sore Loser: In 2009, after he failed to win the PWG World Championship from Chris Hero, who went on to surpass him in number of days he held the belt, meaning Joey Ryan was no longer the longest running Pro Wrestling Guerilla Champion of all time.
  • Squash Match: When forced to wrestle his own tag team partner Matt Morgan, Joey didn't do so well. You could give him points for trying but he already guessed how it was going to go.
  • Tag Team
    • That Seventies Team in Rev Pro, Guerilla and Wrestling Society X
    • The Real American Heroes with Karl Anderson in several promotions
    • With Tony Broadway in NWA Pro and Ring Ka King
    • Lucky Inc. (later The Happening) with Johnny Goodtime in NWA Pro and the Alternate Wrestling Show
    • The Dynasty with Scott Lost
    • The World's Cutest Tag Team with Candice LeRae
  • The Rival: Los Luchas to the Real American Heroes of the NWA World Tag Team Titles. Also, some team known as Los Crazy Chickens.
  • The Thing That Would Not Leave: Despite being denied by the Gutcheck judges, he didn't get the hint.
  • Tournament Arc: Joey Ryan defeated Chris Hero in the finals of the 2010 Battle Of Los Angeles.
  • Two Decades Behind: Times two!
  • Two First Names
  • Would Hit a Girl: Possibly tying into the Andy Kaufman impression above, he's wrestled a fair share on inter-gender matches on the independent circuit. It probably helps that he's only 5'9", meaning he doesn't tower over female wrestlers the way others might.

"Who wants a mustache ride?!"