A style of facial hair that resembles the classic "handlebar mustache", but is thicker and bushier on top, with no other facial hair underneath. Often used to (at least in the wearer's intentions) indicate a guy's "rugged" or "manly" nature.
This trope has a Fashion Dissonance
problem. For most of the 70s and early 80s, it was considered authoritarian and MANLY
, and associated with cops, military mennote
, and sex symbols like Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck
. But an increasing association with porn stars, along with a general decline in popularity, makes it difficult for modern viewers to take such characters seriously
. More recently
, moustaches have become more acceptable in the West, although it is sometimes associated with Hipsters
Not to be confused with a Porn Stash
. If you try hiding your stash in your 'stache, it will hurt like the dickens, unless your 'stache is truly badass
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- The original Brawny paper towel◊ logo guy.
- The Man Your Man Could Smell Like in the Old Spice commercials. It peels off, but the bare skin underneath it can also peel off to reveal another mustache. It is not shown, but presumably that one can also peel off; its not clear how many layers he's got.
- This commercial for a Datsun 10th Anniversary 280XZ "Black Gold Edition" circa 1980.
- The guy from the 21st Century Insurance commercials
- Lampshaded in this Grolsch commercial. In the first take of a scene of a porn film in production, an actor and actress perform the ubiquitous porn scenario of a tradesman arriving at a house and finding a housewife at home alone; but the actor has no mustache, and he proceeds to repair the refrigerator. Filming is interrupted by a Grolsch spokesman who complains that "this blue movie is not ready yet", pointing out the actor's lack of a mustache, and comparing rushed production of a porn film to rushed brewing of beer. The actor does have a mustache in the re-take.
- Wrestler Scott Hall had one during his AWA days, when he was "Magnum" Scott Hall. He later shaved it before going to the WWF and becoming Razor Ramon. And the man he was emulating, "Magnum" TA—who looked a little like Tom Selleck from Magnum P.I.
- Announcer Tony Schiavone, early in his career.
- "Ravishing" Rick Rude, in what had to be a deliberate instance.
- NWA World Heavyweight Champion Dan "The Beast" Severn is almost as well known for his shiny porno mustache as he is for anything related to athletics.
- It became a good chunk of independent wrestler Joey Ryan's gimmick for a time, although he tended to also wear a little stubble which diluted the effect. Part of his gimmick was a sleazy 70s Casanova Wannabe, and his finishing move was called a Mustache Ride (which was also the beginning of his entrance music.)
- The most immediately identifiable trait of "The Last Real Man" Silas Young.
- Most recently, Cody Rhodes has been the butt of all the jokes with his mustache.
Solid Old Snake acquires one in Metal Gear Solid 4.
- Captain Price from the Call of Duty series (both of them).
- Super Mario Bros.
- Mike Haggar has a brilliant bristly one.
- Odessa Cubbage, of Half-Life 2 fame. It's a bit thin, however.
- Garet gains one of these in Golden Sun: Dark Dawn.
- The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
- The Great Deku Tree has one. Unusual, in that it's... well... a tree.
- The Mario Bros. knockoffs Ingo and Talon have such 'staches as well.
- Valant Gramarye in Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney grows one when he gets older. It's supposed to make him look more mature than his younger self, but since he spends his time hanging around his old friend's fifteen-year-old daughter, it has some, ah, unfortunate implications.
- Griffin from Harvest Moon.
Saxton Hale SAXTON HAAAAALE from Team Fortress 2.
- "Rad" Spencer was a clean cut red haired Duke clone in Bionic Commando Rearmed, but as of Rearmed 2 has grown a rather impressive (if out of place) bright red manstache.
- "Super" Joe Gibson, Spencer's ally and the object of the rescue mission in the NES Bionic Commando and its remake, also ends up sporting one of these.
- Chester, Hobo Lord of Sleaze (complete with van and bag of candy) has one of these in Kingdom of Loathing. You can even acquire it for yourself.
- Yuri from the Command & Conquer: Red Alert series, together with a goatie and Bald of Evil. Considering he's played by Udo Kier, his level of evilness is quite obvious◊.
- John Mullins from Soldier of Fortune.
- Italian Spiderman. At one point, he throws it like a boomerang.
- This ad◊ for Mario Kart DS shows three Japanese pop-rock-types sporting these and winking/grinning at the camera. You can play with people across the world via Wi-Fi, and this is represented by the various stereotyped versions of the guy with the Mario-like mustache and hat. The picture has become rather popular as an avatar icon.
- Gaia Online's Timmy experienced "Megapuberty" and had the choice of either growing to adulthood immediately or remaining a child forever, and out of indecision decided to poll the fandom. Most of the fans who voted started talking about what a Bishounen Timmy would grow up to be. Instead, Timmy grew up Hollywood Homely (think Nicolas Cage's character in Raising Arizona), and has since then been accosted by police officers purely because they could not believe someone with a mustache like that was an honest citizen.
- Binder of Shame's appropriately-named Deviant Boy is described as having an "abnormally thick moustache".
- Parodied in Episode 4 of Manwhores when Kevin gets a fake one in order to imitate Randy. Five minutes later, he's in an 8-way. Yes, an 8-way.
- Frollo gains one of these after being age regressed by his Arab cousin in The Frollo Show.
- Screen Junkies: Hal Rudnick grew one for movember,a men's health awareness program. In fact, the Porn Stache is the goal of every participant in Movember. Few succeed.
- Uh, this Sesame Street shirt.
- Due to the cross-media nature of the character, it's hard to place him in one category, but several Commissioner James Gordons have boasted mustaches that are very 70s'. While some depictions of the good Commissioner have him appear quite distinguished in a vaguely old-money Southern fashion, several have been given rather porny 'staches over the years. Gary Oldman in the Nolan-era reboot movies is one such salient example.
- Actors and media figures:
- Porn actors: Go figure.
- Porn star Ron Jeremy, perhaps the most iconic example and probably responsible for the association with porn.
- John Holmes, the inspiration for Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights.
- And the original pornstache, Harry Reems. Some even noted the oddness of him not having it in Forced Entry.
- Freddie Mercury, in the 80's.
- Ric Romero, consumer reporter for Los Angeles-based KABC-TV and Internet meme extraordinaire.
- John Stossel, former ABC newsman and host of 20/20.
- Ron Howard sported one in the early 1980s. It's shown in all its glory in a 1982 episode of Saturday Night Live he hosted.
- Critic Gene Siskel of Siskel & Ebert in the 70s. Here's a clip of them reviewing ''AllThePresidentsMen''.
- Geraldo Rivera.
- Film critic/conservative commentator/self-styled "cultural crusader" who's supposedly led a "controversial life", Michael Medved.
- Burt Reynolds.
- Tom Selleck
- Seventies Porn Colin, a 1970s publicity shot of Colin Baker shirtless and sporting one of these, has attained memetic status in Doctor Who fandom.
- Athletes and sports figures:
- NASCAR has plenty of famous drivers with porn 'staches. Richard Petty, Dale Earnhardt, Tim Richmond, Neil Bonnett, Terry Labonte, Dale Jarrett, Mike Skinner...
- In Formula One the most notorious pornstache is Nigel Mansell's.
- Mark Spitz, who won seven gold medals in a single Olympic Games.
- Hilariously, after his medal haul Spitz was approached by a coach from the Soviet team, asking him why he had a mustache. Spitz jokingly replied that it deflected water away from his mouth and effectively made him swim faster; at the next international swim meet he attended the following year, all the male Russian swimmers were sporting mos.
- Baseball player Jeff Kent's famous facial hair has led to baseball announcers to jokingly refer to impressive or important home runs by Jeff Kent as "money shots".
- NBA commissioner David Stern had one early in his tenure, clearly evident in archive photos from the '84 draft.
- Famous mustachioed Yankee player of the 80s and early 90s Don Mattingly and Jason Giambi. Giambi in particular, credited Mattingly as the inspiration for him growing his in 2008. Giambi (known famously for his full beard/long haired look while he was a member of the Oakland Athletics) infamously shaved off his facial hair when he signed with the Yankees in 2002, so his decision to grow a moustache revived his career with the organization and with fans after several years of subpar playing and revelations that he was on steroids for the bulk of his tenure at Oakland. The Yankees later held a "Jason Giambi Mustache Day" in which they gave out fake mustaches as a promotion to get Giambi the final spot on the AL All-Star Team roster. He didn't win the vote, though.
- George Parros, enforcer of the Anaheim Ducks. He's even earned the nickname "Stache" because of it.
- Hall of Fame third baseman Mike Schmidt has sported one since his playing days.
- Two-time Vezina/Conn Smythe/Stanley Cup winning Hall of Fame NHL goaltender Bernie Parent of the Philadelphia Flyers had one of the most awe-inspiring examples of the trope◊ in the history of North American professional sports during the 1970s. It's since morphed into a Trustworthy Beard as its owner◊ has aged into Badass Grandpa territory.
- Broad Street Bullies-era backup goalie Bobby Taylor◊ was a fairly decent backup for Parent in this area as well. Hockey seemed to raise a bumper crop in those days, with even Taylor cheerfully quipping in the HBO documentary on the team, The Broad Street Bullies, that "we looked like a bunch of porn stars."
- In fact, the Flyers in particular are no slouches in the pornstached Goalie department, with another Vezina and Conn Smythe coming from netminder Ron Hextall◊ in the 80s.
- Sportscaster and entertainment reporter Pat O'Brien.
- Atlanta Falcons defensive coordinator Brian Van Gorder◊.
- Keith Olbermann alternated between this and clean-shaven from his days as a sports anchor in Los Angeles until midway through his SportsCenter tenure, after which he apparently hacked it off for good. Apparently he figured out that the look may work for some people, but it unambiguously does not work for him.
- Similarly, ESPN's Chris Berman sported one early in his tenure on ESPN and recently decided to give it another try.
- MLB Pitcher Carl Pavano - especially when it's not fully grown in.
- Possibly-former Boston Bruins goalie Tim Thomas.
- NBA player Adam Morrison is commonly mocked for this (along with his non-presence with the Lakers).
- Many an Australian cricketer have sported these through the years, including David Boon◊ and Dennis Lillee. More recently, fast bowler Mitchell Johnson◊ had one during the 2013 Ashes test series.
- WVU punter, Nick O'Toole, whose Porn Stache◊ makes him look 20 years older◊
- Historial and political figures:
- John R. Bolton.
- Not uncommon among European royalty of the 19th and early 20th centuries, with King Umberto I of Italy◊ having one of the most epic Porn Staches of all time.
- Some of his (numerous) detractors argue that the moustache Peter Mandelson used to have looked like one of these. Judge for yourself◊.
- And of course, Josef Stalin. He even was nicknamed "Baffone" ("Big Moustache") in Italy.
- And some of his comrades too, like Vyacheslav Molotov, Lazar Kaganovich and Andrei Zhdanov.
- Saddam Hussein.
- Nikola Tesla. Ironically, he was celibate.
- Günther, the stage persona of Swedish singer Mats Söderlund. His entire act is indeed modeled on bad German porn stars.
- Don Frye◊, MMA fighter and the Bad Ass Captain Gordon in Godzilla Final Wars.
- Friedrich Nietzsche had an uber-pornstache. Although he was celibate like Tesla.
- British Army lore has it that these are standard issue for the SAS, so the page quote may well be justified. However, considering the skills of a standard SAS soldier, it is a bad idea to mock them for this.
- Meet The Talking Car, an old children's safety PSA, gives one of these to one of the cars. The car in question seems peculiarly affable towards children, claims to have known quite a few boys in girls "in my day", and adds that they are good.
- The University of Western Ontario's Science Faculty has a mascot, by the name of Sanchez. Sanchez, cheerfully referred to as "Our King" by the faculty, is a blow-up doll possessing-of course-only the most epic of porn 'staches.
- Serial killer William Bonin◊
- Chris Hadfield, Canadian astronaut and recent commander of ISS for Expedition 35. And yeah I totally picked a doofy picture on purpose.◊ Also kind of Adorkable, sometimes.
- Michael Collins of Apollo 11 fame. Interestingly, he started his famous mission totally clean shaved and ended up with one at the end.