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Maxwell getting seemingly pissed off about the lack of nudity in an ongoing hentai LP (this was before those were banned on SA).
Doomisland: Go read the Hentai Let's Play.
Maxwell: I've been reading that but there's been no porn yet.
Chapter 8-1: the commentators begins discussing mummies as if they're a bad group that troubled kids could fall into. Ferr suggests forming a rap group to get the word out.
Ferr: Hey kids, we're here today to talk about the dangers of hanging around with mummies. (Evek chuckles, pipes! begins beatboxing) Evek: This isn't an after-school special. Ferr: I had a full scholarship to college, until I fell in with the mummy crowd. (more chuckles from the others) I lost my job, I lost my house, I lost my girlfriend... and for what? To wrap myself up in bandages and hang around behind the mall? pipes!: Yo man, you are out of step with Imhotep! (everyone laughs for nearly half a minute)
Link getting gang-raped by zombies He goes from full-health to 1 and 1/4 health in the span of about 20 seconds.
Evek: (after several seconds of everyone laughing) They're lining up! (laughter) doomisland: Gang-bang~ Maxwell: (playing)No! No! No! Evek: They're all lining up to take turns on ya— doomisland: YES! Point-of-view shot! Maxwell: (various sounds of frustration) This is horrible! Ferr: You now have Hepatitis-C, gonorrhea, AIDS— pipes!: You'll never know who the mummy-father is! (Everyone laughs) Ferr: ...herpes... (Link flees and gets to safety; he's panting and barely clinging to life. Everyone else laughs more.) Maxwell: Okay, I got the mask on. Evek: Oh, god! The horror! pipes!: The psychological damage has already been done! Ferr: There's a women's shelter down the street, Link. (raucous laughter) Look at him, he's sobbing in shame! Fluids dripping out of every orifice... pipes!: You'll be pulling bandages out of your ass for a week!
The Astronauts' LP of Zelda Master Quest is very funny in it's own right, but particularly so during the Jabu-Jabu dungeon, which, I'll remind you, is inside the stomach of a giant fish. Highlights include Maxwell freaking out over the cows embedded in the stomach walls that act as switches, Pipes! trying to gross everybody out, and all four of the Astronauts reaction to Princess Ruto wanting to marry Link.
While wandering around the Forest Temple with no clue where they're meant to be going:
This is like an insight into your future with Alzheimer's.
Doesn't help they sequence broke it.
In the Forest Temple, after making NO progress for all too long a time, Maxwell finds a key. Cue Ferr (13:19).
Ferr: * With the Item Get Jingle* HOLY FUCK A KEY!
Earlier, when little Lunk is running through Kakariko and picks up a Cucco, there's a sudden shout of (and to the tune of the Item Get jingle) "YOU GOT A COOOOOOOOOCK!" causing everyone else to laugh riotously.
The many deaths of Link Lunk in the Spirit Temple as Maxwell keeps falling into the pit. Over and over.
Late into the first quarter or so of the LP, while they were staying up all night trying to race to see if they could beat the game before the end of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Hilarity ensues with sleep deprived babbling and signs of insanity as our four heroes try desperately to stay awake.
ANOTHER Forest Temple one, when fighting the 2nd Poe sister, they play a certain song (1:08). Link ain't 'fraid of no ghosts!
One in the Spirit Temple; wherein he keeps sending Link Lunk right into the middle hole over four times in a row (due to controller problems). Then, later he gets the block in place and jumps down the hole again, just after save-stating in the file, causing this interchange:
Maxwell: State save... that button works...(Lunk takes a plunge down a pit)
Ferr: And Thank God for that!
Maxwell's accidental Freudian slip causes pipes! to go on a tangent:
Maxwell: I think I like that final solution better than—
Ferr: (anguished mumbling) Maxwell: Why are you— (pipes! laughs hysterically) Maxwell: ...did you just shove the Red Bull can into your eye? pipes!: Did you get splashback into your eye? Ferr: (anguished) YES! OW! (whimpers) OW~! How does that even happen?! pipes!: (through laughter) How many fingers am I holding up? How many? Ferr: I don't know; my eye is darting all over the place. It's bursting with energy. It's trying to fly away!
Maxwell has one heart arriving at Hyrule Castle for the first time. After cutting down shrubbery to find life ASAP and getting only Deku Nuts:
Whenever Ferr and Pipes! imitate an awkward encounter between Link and Zelda/Any other character.
The scene where they play Saria's song for Darunia:
pipes!: Everybody dance now!
"Hark! I hear the call of cock!"
Planning to hijack a Boston Revolutionary War themed tour with costumed guides. note \\ by either: Dressing as Redcoats and trying to arrest them, dressing like they're from the future and talking about future Boston, or dressing like Revolutionary War people and acting like they work there, getting riled up and throwing tea in the harbor, or pretending they're loyalists and attacking.
Shortly afterwards, while Maxwell is eating one of the aforementioned cookies, he finally gets past the puzzle that's been annoying him all the time, and finds a chest... with 5 rupees in it. His resultant annoyed grunt with a mouth full of cookie gets taken the wrong way by Ferr and Pipes.
Game: *Small victory theme*
Maxwell: *annoyed, mouth full of cookie* Mmf! Mm...
Ferr: *as Maxwell* "That was a good cookie."
Pipes: *also as Maxwell* "Oh god, I need a cigarette."
Maxwell improvising when it comes to the last three Deku (and repeatedly failing).
Pipes: I like that they've activated their alarm system.
Ferr: Please step away from the Deku!
It's included in the highlights video, but this exchange is great, too:
Ferr: Their creation myth looks like my breakfast. Cereal going into milk.
Pipes: The hills and valleys of Whole Nut Crunch. So it is written...
Evek: So how it shall taste.
Pipes: See? She poured her wisdom into the milk.
Ferr: In the beginning, the earth was without form and void and the face of God moved on the milk and said "Let there be cereal!" And there was cereal and yea, it was crunchy... and God saw that it was good.
And, finally, Maxwell noting that the challenges he's set for Evek and Pipes note Not asking questions and keeping Evek from asking questions, respectively haven't been going well.
Evek: Just grab it! Run through! [Lunk does so, displaying the hard-won key]
Ferr: Get out of there! No! Don't celebrate! No! What are you doing? [In-scene, the platform falls down on him] Oh, Link... Why would you do a thing like that?
When they abandon the Fire Temple (the first time) and head on to the Water Temple instead. Maxwell tries to use an item underwater, prompting the 'can't do that' noise.
Evek: Did Link just cut one, or what?
Ferr: Judging from the number of bubbles, I'd say yes.
[Maxwell presses the button several more times in quick succession]
Every time they start making up song names. Examples include:
Pipes: Song of Time?
Maxwell: I tried that already.
Pipes: Song of Brine?
Ferr: Song of Slime?
Pipes: Song of Fine?
Ferr: Song of Rhyme!
Ferr: Play the Song of... What-the-Hell.
Maxwell:[Stands on the (full) well, playing the Sun's Song] Why do I think this works?
Ferr: Is that the Song of Sinking?
Maxwell: Wait... this is the time song. I don't want that.
Ferr: Maybe you should play some heavy metal.
Pipes: Play the Song of Something Else.
Ferr: Song of Shit! Song of Failure! Song of State-load!
Maxwell: That little handle thing is sort of sticking out there.
Ferr: I totally get that.
Evek: Hookshot, maybe?
Ferr: Oven mitt.
Maxwell: Equip oven mitt.
Ferr: Song of Oven Mitt! Song of Asbestos!
Evek: Asbestos gives you lung cancer.
Ferr: I thought it was 'Asbestos gives you wings'
Evek:[Beat] If you die from it.
Back in the Fire Temple— after a brief stint in the Water Temple— the astronauts find themselves at a (seemingly) dead end. At this point, Maxwell has resorted to trying to open the way with everything from the hammer to Epona's Song.
Pipes: Let me guess— you have to go to another dungeon, press a switch, and then come back to this dungeon.
Ferr: You have to go to another game.
Just a few minutes into episode 39, you can tell there's some sanity slippage going on. Between Ferr's punning, Maxwell's increasingly desperate (and bizarre) plans, and Pipes' ramblings, it's absolutely hilarious
Maxwell: Where's my heart container? There. No, you've gotta go back in time, then go forward in time, then go back in time again... to hit the same switch three times. To unlock a room that has a heart container.
There are quite a few moments from the quest for the Biggoron's Sword, too.
Maxwell: I'm just gonna take a second to appreciate this pose that Link is doing right here. Hand on his heart, cock in his hand.
Maxwell and Ferr reliving the best and worst day ever.
Maxwell: When we did the marathon recording session at one point that happened and, uh, Pipes said 'Oh, he clipped it!' and I said 'He didn't clip it, he clopped it!' and that seemed hilarious to me. And in my mind I was saying 'Clippity clopped it, clippity clopped it!' over and over again. I was trying so hard not to laugh. I was so far gone.
Ferr: That was simultaneously the best and worst day ever.
Their reaction to their advisor getting cut off.
Ferr: 'To get the last bottle you need to catch the ten S'
About thirty seconds later, there's Maxwell's 'playing in the sprinkler' moment
Maxwell: Okay. I killed everything and nothing happened... but at least I had the most ridiculous Zelda fight I've ever had.
"Oh, I get it! It doesn't make sense, but I get it..."
There's also Maxwell getting into the enemy's head:
Maxwell: See, this is how I solve the puzzles in this game. I imagine the cruelest setup for a puzzle that they could make and then see if that's the case. In this case I imagine that there's an invisible object inside this that would appear if you used the Lens of Truth, but I guess not.
Pipes: You realize you're starting to think like them?
Ferr: That's never a good thing.
Pipes: After we finish this game, Maxwell's going to have to go through some intense counter-programming.
Maxwell: You notice they put the, uh, fire ice here just to piss me off?
Ferr: So you need to go all the way back and get water again?
Maxwell: No, I brought some with me 'cause I knew they were gonna do that.
Maxwell: Is this punishment or reward for state saving? I can't decide...
Pipes trying to figure out how Ganondorf floats in midair and attacks.
pipes!: So, when he's floating around in the air like that... is he building up static?
Ferr: It's the magical equivalent of rubbing your socks on the carpet.
pipes! Link just tosses a cat at him and there's a large bang...
Maxwell wants to see what happens when time runs out during the escape from Ganon's Castle, seeing as he has save states and a fast-forward button, and with 10 seconds left on the clock...
Ferr: Go back in and save the children. Evek: What children? pipes!: Oh no, Bootsy and Mootsy! Lunk immediately runs into a respawned Redead in the previous room which stuns him and slowly approaches him as the timer hits 0. The entire group laughs. pipes!:THE LAST THING YOU SEE!
Maxwell pouncing on the opportunity to tell us a groan-worthy pun:
Maxwell: (gleefully) I've been saving that all week.
Everybody joking around during the final battle:
Pipes: Nothing says 'final showdown' like 'ocarina'
Ferr: I challenge you to a flute-off!
Evek: Finish him!
And the Sages' attack:
Ferr: By your powers combined...
Pipes: I am good for 2000 flushes!
Maxwell recounting a zombie dream he had after encountering Stalkids for the first time.
Maxwell: I had a nightmare about a zombie invasion the other night. It started out with this city that everyone knew was overrun by zombies, and it was all blockaded, you couldn't go in there. I was in the plane, I was flying from one place to another... Pipes:Things are relatively coherent so far. Maxwell: Yeah, and the pilot started showing symptoms of, y'know, zombification, he's like twitching and stuff, and everyone knows he's gonna turn into a zombie, and everyone gathers in the cockpit like, "Okay, we gotta kill the captain before he turns into a zombie!" And everyone's like "No, I don't wanna do it! I can't kill a man!" And then he goes full-on zombie and bites a dude, and then someone tries to shoot the captain but, like, his angle's way off and shoots the window. Buncha guys get sucked out the window, the plane crashes straight into zombie city. It got messy from there on, cause it was like... people going after zombies, but there was like a zombie samurai— Pipes:THERE WE GO! We've made the leap to absurd!
Shortly after entering the Fire Temple, Maxwell walks into a room and waltzes straight into a Like Like which eats both his Hylian Shield and Goron Tunic. After killing it and spawning a treasure chest...
Maxwell: I got my tunic back, but I didn't get my shield back! Evek:Oh, no. Maxwell: This game is cruel! He opens the chest. "You got a Hylian Shield!" Maxwell:*amidst laughter* Oh, hey! Ferr:Oddly appropriate.
pipes!: What if the whole playing field is hamburger steak.
New Super Mario Bros Wii
Maxwell, pipes!, Ferr and Evek spend the majority of their time on New Super Mario Bros. Wii dicking each other over (or more accurately, Maxwell dicking over the other three). Rescued from Viddler by a third party here.
Also now reuploaded on Maxwell's Youtube account in HD.
At the very start, the Astronauts discuss why Wario wasn't made playable: apparently, Word of God was it was a game balance issue, as Wario's farting power would unbalance the game, and they didn't want to include him without it.
Upon losing all their lives — which happens a lot — there isn't much left for the temporarily defeated but Angrish and honking the loser horn. Many Precision Horn Honksfollow. Made funnier by how the Astronauts keep cracking up at them.
Pretty much any moment where the Astronauts get to ride Yoshis is going to be funny, with cries such as "Ow! You ate me!" and "Stop eating me damnit!" as they use the Yoshis to further dick each other over and struggle to stay on them for more than a few seconds.
In a stage where Lakitus appear from white smiling blocks if you hit them, Ferr tried to jump on one as someone hit it, resulting in him jumping into a Lakitu and dying.
While at the flagpole at the end of the level, everyone but Evek makes it. Evek is in a Propeller Suit drifting slowly towards the very top of the pole... and then the game registers it as "COURSE CLEAR!", cheating Evek out of a 1up and leaving him ripe for the pickings by the other three:
(Everyone but Evek laughs, then the end-of-stage sequence triggers, making them laugh harder.) Evek: You dicks! Maxwell: It's your own fault for being slow! pipes!: That's what thinking gets you. Ferr: (in a dandified tone) Oh~ I'll just flitter down, no hurry~ pipes!(also in a dandified tone) Not a care in the world~ Ferr: (dandified) Do be a dear and wait for me~ (Everyone laughing) pipes!: (dandified) I shall see you at the top of the flagpole~
pipes! frequently shouting something like "Luigi is the best!" and INSTANTLY getting killed for a Karmic Death.
Notable in that it got a "WHAT THE HELL?!" out of Evek.
Ferr: Why would you do that?!
Maxwell: I just had this impulse to do that, and like, "Yeah, alright, sure, sounds good, impulse, I'll go with that."
pipes!: This is what serial killers do!
World 8-3, the bitchiness of karma, followed shortly by Maxwell's panicked whimpering.
There's also Ferr singing pirate songs after taking control of a moving platform. Made all the more hilarious because as he's singing, everyone else is being killed over and over by an onslaught of goddamned birds and Parabombs - in one case, in time with the lyrics.
In the same video as Ferr singing, Pipes gains control of the platform with 3 people on it. He moves it forward too quickly, and a giant pillar of fire shoots up in front of them. He tries to stop, but cannot, so he instead accelerates while screaming "TO HELL!", killing all 3 of them. The next 20 seconds of the video are them laughing.note He laments that he should've shouted "RAMMING SPEED!"
(Luigi and the toads bring in the hot air balloons) Evek: Hey, remember us, ya dickwad? (Mario and Peach take off without Luigi) pipes!: Luigi walk home. Ferr: Luigi get-a the blue-balls again! (the toads show up in their own balloon) pipes!: Unless... Ferr: ...or DOES he?
Maxwell: For the last level, they kinda let you chill out and have fun.
Ferr: Oh. Nice of them to put one level in there that-
Maxwell: Wait, OR DO THEY?!
Enter King Bill that takes up over half the screen, stage left
Other Astronauts: (screams of terror)
The bonus video featuring the astronauts "Riding the Snake", complete with quotes from SNL and pretending the snake is a roller coaster by cheering unenthusiastically.
The Astronauts downloaded fan-made levels for New Super Mario Bros. Naturally, these levels make the Nintendo Hard game evenharder. The Astronauts die frequently, and only manage to complete one level. One of their failed levels, however, has them trapped beneath a seemingly impassable wall. Just as they figure out how to get past, a GIANT BULLET BILL that almost takes up the entire screen chases them down, during which time they all scream like children. The most epic TPK ever witnessed.' Ferr laments he's gonna have nightmares.
Also, at the start of the fan-made level right after, everyone but Ferr being killed by a single Goomba.
Maxwell, pipes! and Evek: (talking over one another) Oh—oh what? No! Ferr:Yeah, watch out for that guy.(Everyone else laughs) Oh, I'll get him guys, don't worry! (stomps on the goomba as the other three respawn) Guess you all were too not-good for that! Kind of the Mario expert over here. (more laughter) Yeah, Pro Tip on those guys—you wanna jump on 'em.
Their Tetris video (Youtube link), in which pipes! first defeats Evek (to much enthusiastic trash talking), then gets taken to the woodshed by Maxwell (... still to much enthusiastic trash talking). Later on, he gets into a back-and-forth of Tetrises with Ferr (with, of course, much enthusiastic trash talking). "U Tetrisin' awful!"
pipes!: More! You cannot stop the oncoming storm! So many lines! It's like Studio 54, there's so many lines going on! Ferr: It's like a referee convention, there's so many lines. pipes!: You see that?! BAM! Right there! Pieces locked in perfectly! I am perfect and flawless like an AI! Look at that! Logically placed! Thinking of the future! A solid strategy! I'M TALKING SHIT WITH TETRIS! YOU GOT NOTHING! MAN, I WILL PLAY THIS IN THE PARK AND I WILL TAKE YOUR MONEY! Ferr: More lines than a zebra slaughterhouse, son! pipes!: That'll do, pig. That'll do. What's this—UNH! Drop a line! I don't even need to see where it goes! I just know! I just know where it'll fall! BAM! DOWN! TRASH-TALKING CHESS! YOU GOT NOTHING! WHAT?! WHAT!? THIS IS MY HOUSE! MY IMMACULATELY-CONSTRUCTED HOUSE! BLOCKS ARE GOING EVERYWHERE! LOOK AT THAT—DROP RIGHT DOWN! I DON'T KEEP UNEVEN LINES! NO HOLES! NO HOLES...UNLIKE YOUR MOM! BURN! LOOK AT THAT! DROP! OH! OH! OH! OH! Ferr: More lines than a Soviet bakery, son! pipes!: BAM! YOU GONNA LET 'IM TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT! YEAH, YOU ARE, BECAUSE YOU'RE MY BITCH! MY TETRIS BITCH! BAM! ANOTHER LINE! THEY JUST KEEP COMING!! THE HITS KEEP—(puts an L-block in the wrong spot)OH FUCK! (Everyone else laughs as pipes! eventually wins.) pipes!: Trash-talking Icarus...
pipes!: (struggling with an S-block) Unnnnnnnh! Fuck! Unnnnnh! (a J-block appears) Unnnnnh! Fuck, again! The dreaded double-fuck! Ferr: That boy's got more lines than a Kevin Smith movie, son! pipes!: ...now you're just reaching. Ferr: Hey, that was good! (Maxwell clears a Tetris, and the ensuing garbage makes pipes! misplace a critical block) pipes!: (as everyone else laughs) WHAT? WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! [Lose] ...You played me like a piano. Ferr: I don't wanna play; I just wanna come up with one-liners.
pipes!'s demise in the round after that is a little more methodical and grinding:
pipes!: (as Maxwell moves up to Level 1) Oh, you're changing colors? You're changing colors?! (clears a triplenote gives the opponent two garbage lines with a J-block) Bam! (as he clears a Tetrisnote gives the opponent four garbage lines) BAM! Maxwell: Bwah! pipes!: I just curb-stomped your ass! Maxwell: (about to clear his own Tetris)Have it back. (Maxwell sets up a second I-block for back-to-back Tetrises) Evek: (as the garbage lines start piling up and everyone else laughs)Holy shit, no! pipes!: NOOOOO! THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANTED!
Maxwell: "This is the part where I reveal where I actually know how to play Tetris."
They generally found the sound effects of clearing lines and garbage lines appearing inherently funny throughout.
After pipes! hands his controller to Evek after being thoroughly whooped by Maxwell, he and Ferr constantly pester Maxwell in some attempt at revenge, which actually works as evidenced by sudden constant misplacing of blocks and Maxwell suddenly realizing, a few minutes later...
pipes!: (puts a J-block in a very precarious position) BWAH! (laughter) Evek: Good god, man! You've built a roof over your house now! Ferr: Now sleep in it! (more laughter as pipes! uses a second J-block to fully seal off the hole) pipes!: It's concept! I've seen the models; they look wonderful! (more laughter from all) pipes!: Why did I do this? (puts an L-block in another just-as-wrong position)NOO! (more laughter) Ferr: I just need to wait you out. I'll be over here making single lines, thank you. pipes!: Got more singles than a stripper. Ferr: I got more singles than eHarmony! (laughter) pipes!: And they're just as desperate.
In the next round, pipes! hopes things go better for him:
pipes!: (drops an O-block straight down) Block-and-center! This time will be different! (pipes! then puts a Z-block standing up, hanging over the right edge of the O-block) Evek: It's not different at all!
There was also the NES Mess video that preceded it, with Maxwell playing single-player Tetris and everyone yelling at him when he made bad placements. The other game in the video have a lot of funny parts in them, too.
pipes! ripping on Maxwell for choosing the Type-C music instead of the usual Type-A, suggesting that a) Maxwell "likes having cocks placed in [his] mouth" and b) thanks to the rules of Tetris, such a state would cause his head to clear like a Tetris and disappear.
The first time Maxwell screws up:
Ferr: Oh, no! Maxwell: (after stacking a J-block straight up) Didn't see that one coming, did you? Ferr: Why would you do a thing like that?! (Maxwell stacks an S-block straight up, atop the J-block) Ferr: Why would you do THAT?! pipes!: NOOOO!YOU'VE RUINED CHRISTMAS! (Everyone else starts laughing; meanwhile, Maxwell piles another S-block onto the too-high stack) Ferr: You're the worst! pipes!: That tower is one big middle finger to good Tetris players everywhere! (Maxwell stacks another J-block upright) Now it's two! (Maxwell clears a Tetris) pipes!: Oh, look at me, Mr. Tetris! You still have a huge problem!
At one point, pipes! gets so pissed at Maxwell's Tetris playing that he says he'll have a kid just so that his kid can beat up and torment Maxwell's kid.
Screw-up incident #37:
pipes!: I'm gonna find members of your family and hit them with bricks, because of what you're doing right now— (Maxwell tries and fails to make an L-block rotate into a gap) Maxwell: Ohh—no! I thought it would rotate! pipes!: You thought wrong! Now you're fucked! (Laughter from everyone else) Evek: Good god, man! Maxwell: Hey watch this, watch this! (his attempts at rotating a T-block to do...something...fails) Whaddya think of that?! (Laughter) Evek: You're killing us here! pipes!: I think I can actually hear people watching thisnote it was a livestream screaming at you...like a general din. As if a million nerds cried out and were suddenly silenced. Evek: No, they're not gonna be silenced.
Ferr: Jesus hates you. He loves everybody except you.
At about the 8:00 mark of that same video, a random pedestrian corpse goes flying past Tommy and Lance as they drive to avoid police. There's a delayed reaction from the Astronauts, as they didn't recognize just what it was.
Ferr: Oh, don't mind me, I just parked my helicopter here; I'll move it as soon as I can. pipes!: Did I mention I stole a tank? Maxwell: I really wish you could pick up hookers in a helicopter... pipes!: ...why can't you? Maxwell: Hey babies—(tilts helicopter and accidentally shreds the hooker with propeller) (Astronauts laugh) Ferr:That's why.
At one point Maxwell talks of how the Civilians can't use Molotov Cocktails and just light themselves on fire;
Pipes!: Maybe they were just protesting the Vietnam war.
pipes! and Ferr bickering like an old couple while Maxwell gets lost trying to get to the Pay 'N Spray.
Ferr: I know where I'm going. pipes!: Why don't ya pull over, ask somebody for directions!? Ferr: I don't need directions, I know where we are! pipes!: I think we're lost! Ferr: We're not lost! pipes!: You always say this! Ferr: I know where we are! pipes!: I'm just sayin, if we pull over and ask somebod- Ferr: We don't need to pull over! pipes!: Look, we just passed a gas station! Ferr: I know where the gas station is! pipes!: We need gas! Ferr: We're almost there, five more minutes, shut up! pipes!: I don't know why I married you. Ferr: BECAUSE YOU'RE UGLY!
Maxwell: (runs the boat aground) Okay, I'm parked. (disembarks) pipes!: Look at me! I'm a motorist—a boatorist! Maxwell: (as everyone laughs)A boatorist! Evek: You're just making up words now. pipes!: That's the joke!
The "iron sights" view of a fully automatic weapon; i.e. they make fun of the gun flipping back and hitting Gordon in the face.
The first death:
Resistance agent: (as Gordon speeds by and runs over an enemy) HEY DOWN THERE! SUPPLIES! pipes!: HEY! (The airboat then slams into a large, sloped sheet of metal at full speed, killing Gordon in one shot. Laughter ensues) pipes!: Oops! That's your head! (more laughter) Maxwell: Since when— Ferr: Good job, James Dean! (even more laughter) Maxwell: Since when can you die like that?!
pipes!: KICKBOAT! Finish them off! Maxwell: I gotta steer sometime! pipes!: No you don't! Kicking is steering! Ferr: Kick in the direction you wish to go! Maxwell: It's a point and kick interface. (riotous laughter for about fifteen seconds) Ferr: It's Das Boot! pipes!: We're gonna kick it into high gear! Ferr: We're kickin' it old school. (More laughter) Maxwell: (after laughter dies down)I'd like to personally thank the coders of this mod.
The first time we see the Gordon Kick in action...Maxwell uses it on a downed enemy. Its head explodes.
pipes!: (as Maxwell throws them) You're just throwing bananas... Evek: Yes! We get bananas! B-A— (The bananas then break apart and explode all around Gordon, leading to his death and making the Astronauts laugh.) Ferr: That shit was bananas! pipes!: How did you think that would be different?! (laughing) Maxwell: Oh...I wanted to see what right-click did...and then that happened.
(after trying out a "singularity generator"note generates tiny black holes, more or less)
Ferr: I demand you use that on the next enemies. pipes!: Exclusively!
"It's like the opening to Doctor Who—just tunnels and tunnels and tunnels!"
Taking the Kickboat to the skies to fight the chopper.
Ferr: Fight for control of the skies! pipes!: You are the dominant predator! (gets shot down as everyone laughs) I'm sure they never considered the boat intercepting the chopper when they were programming this. Evek: (as the Kickboat spirals out of control)Do a barrel roll! pipes!: Somewhere there's a Valve programmer watching this, going, "I WAS RIGHT!" Maxwell: I think I hit it again. pipes!: You're winning. (a second chopper inexplicably joins the battle)There are TWO of them! You kicked it into two!
Evek: Where are you— Maxwell: This way! Ferr: Out of the skybox! [Dies] Maxwell: Aw...oh? (looks around) ...what?! (Everyone laughs) Ferr: What does that say? Maxwell: "Reflectivity 50%." (More laughter) Ferr: You broke the matrix! pipes!: You kicked your way out of the game! It kicked you out! Ha ha ha!... You got booted from the server.
The transition of the Kickboat into a Memetic Badass, both in annotations and in video commentary.
A strange tangent wherein the discuss the life of a nameless Mook tasked with guarding an out-of-the-way entrance and was jokingly told to watch out for Gordon Freeman, overall implying the job is nothing but pointless busywork. The last thing that guard ever sees is Gordon Freeman and his Kickboat driving right through him as though he wasn't even there.
The simple fact that the Astronauts turned a game about the assassination of JFK into a game of HORSE that goes horribly wrong when they can't do one shot through the butt of a Secret Service agent.
Just before that, their first shot at the game as presented by JFK himself, err-ah, Feh-ah, doing his trademahk impersonation.
Ferr: Welcome to JFK Reloaded, the game based on my life. Wherein you chase broads around the White House, and try not to get caught by Jackie... and try not to let them see LBJ's GIGANTIC wang.
...And then cheers that he's single again after the First Lady's death.
And in the various camera views after the shooting JFK seems oddly nonchalant about his wife being shot right next to him.
Ferr:(Happily) Look at how smug I am.
During their first attempt at shooting aforementioned Secret Service agent in the aforementioned booty, the agent gets up and begins running to the limo... Only for the limo to speed off without him, made exceedingly more hilarious by his little jog and the fact that he just keels over spread eagle a few seconds into it. Would've been a good shot had the round not ended immediately after.
Ferr: That's what you get for being slow, Chuckles.
For an assassinated President, Kennedy sure seems trigger happy, particularly when he manages to get the entire cavalcade to stop after he shoots the driver, and proceeds to murder practically everyone on site.
The same episode makes Evek look like a Cold Sniper. The others call him out for this.
A single shot hits the limo's driver in the shoulder and causes the limo to go veering off to the side and eventually flipping over where it came from. Yeah.
The very next attempt also includes them veering off. The attempt after that includes them veering off, going up a hill, and landing on their side. Also, later on, the car veering off and hitting one of the walls in the tunnel, sending 3 people in the car flying.
From Seaman; "Apetit! REO Speedwagon! APETIT! REO SPEEDWAGON!"
Pipes!: Two thousand years of technology and culture so that you can yell "Apetit" into a little green microphone.
As mentioned in the main article, the squealing the guys do when one of the seamen say their first word in Part 4:
Maxwell: Hello! (Beat) He didn't hear that. Yo! (taps on glass) Pay attention. Hello! Seaman: (unintelligible) Maxwell: Hello. Seaman: ...hello. (Collective gasp, then...) All four Astronauts: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Their reaction to the fact that the narrator is none other than Leonard Nimoy.
During the first playthrough where the astronauts accidentally extinguish the... plural of Seman's food supply. They spend the next week ("week" meaning setting the Dreamcast's internal clock ahead a day every 15 minutes) awaiting the day when the two half fish either die or resort to cannibalism.
Then there was the final day:
Leonard Nimoy (in game narrator): Welcome back. You're doing a good job. Evek: They haven't eaten in five days. You're doing a good job.
Leonard Nimoy: This memory card does not contain saved Seaman data. All of the Astronauts burst into laughter pipes!:*singsong* It is what I thought it waaas! Evek: Congratulations, Leonard Nimoy! Ferr continues losing it Maxwell:*reading onscreen text* Please, enjoy your time with Seaman.
The Seamen become a comedy gold mine when they grow into adulthood, from the conversations they hold with the Astronauts to their general snarkiness. As Maxwell says, it's the interesting part of the game.
Seaman: ...so let me inquire, are you a male or a female? ...you are a male of the species, eh? ...well, I was hoping to meet a lady, but I guess I'm not in a position to be too choosy, am I? pipes!: Fourth wall, being scraped. Ferr: What would have happened if you were female, would he start hitting on you? ... Seaman: ...I am wondering about your age now. Tell me, are you in your, um... 20's? Maxwell: Yes. Seaman: Ah, I see... and exactly how old are you? Maxwell:4,000. Seaman: You're 21 years old? Astronauts laugh again
Seaman: I've been thinking about this, and and if my calculations are correct, you must be a... oh, no... you're a Scorpio, aren't you? I can just see it now... you'll lose your temper and cut off my food supply and that'll be the end of Seaman! Maxwell: Fun fact, I am a Scorpio.
The very first thing that happens gameplay-wise: putting the egg in the water.
The opening cutscene, with MS Paint-level art quality:
Wife: It's past NOON! You have to hurry, dear! (Cut to the alarm clock, which reads 3:49 P.M.) pipes!: ...that's a little bit more than past noon. (laughter) Evek: That's almost dinner. pipes!: We're in a weird, retro-y world where people still work 9 to 5.
When Octodad is trying to clean up:
Maxwell: Careful, careful... (Maxwell smashes everything on a counter into the floor with a shoebox.) pipes!: Oh, no! Octodad! Ferr: This is how people clean!
Octodad stepping over the stove after clearing the counter:
Evek: (makes hissing noise) AAAAAAAH! Ferr: ...what smells like calamari?
Ferr: I'll just be... taking this key with my hand...
pipes!: I'm walking just like manpeoples!
Maxwell: Hold on it's behind my body... my ordinary dad body. This is what humans do.
pipes!: I enjoy things that men enjoy; sport, TV, sports...
pipes!: Hello there, neighbor good friend, why don't you come over to my place to watch some sporting teams and also eat some crabs?
Ferr: And drink perhaps an alcoholic beverage, perhaps? We can entertain ourselves by removing the lids from jars and eating the food within.
At first you would think that the little cephalopod noises Octodad makes in place of speaking were done by the astronauts; which makes it even funnier when you realize that they're coming from the actual game.
pipes!' insistence on going "WOOPWOOPWOOP" every time Maxwell ends up walking sideways.
For that matter, whenever Maxwell loses his grip on the controls, resulting in Octodad doing things like spinning around, whipping one "leg" around while his other if firmly anchored to the ground, makes everyone laugh wildly.
Ferr: Having an eye inside of your mouth seems like a bad evolutionary choice. I mean, I'm pretty pissed off when I bite my tongue, but bite my eye? [...] Ferr: Aww, you know what's the worst part? Since that was a flower, that wasn't its eye, that was its sexual organ. Evek: (disgusted groan)
Ferr: Speaking of horses... we've been getting quite a few referrals to the website from furaffinity.net... Evek:Aw, Christ... Ferr: ...from a page I'm blocked from seeing, but I can see the title, and it's just called "Epona carrots."
pipes!: Way to...stick it to 'em! Maxwell: Ah, that was dumb. (Evek laughs) pipes!: You should make a note of it in your log! Maxwell: (referring to a bunker with a powerful automatic weapon) I just wanna take that gun... pipes!: I'm sorry, the delivery of these jokes is so wooden! Maxwell: Ugh...you're the worst. pipes!: Have I irritated you enough that you can start a splinter group of LP?! Maxwell: You're going to pun jail.
Before that, when Maxwell takes an enemy by the throat:
Evek: Throw him out to sea! (Maxwell does so, launching him as the enemy screams) pipes!: To the briny depths with thee!
And after, when Maxwell knocks a soldier down with a metal case, then gets into a throwing war, with the enemies hurling grenades, and him throwing everything close at hand (ammo cases, crates, folding chairs, VHS tapes, file folders...).
After losing a submarine, Maxwell attempts to build a new one. Using a body meant for a boat. And after that, decides to instead make a very awkward plane.
pipes!: What is a submarine, but a really heavy boat?
The building of their first helicopter, From Ferr's minimalist instructions, to the test flight where Maxwell briefly loses control of the vehicle causing it to roll forward rapidly.
Episode 10. That's the most awesome vehicle since the Kickboat.
You missed the platform.
The glorious clusterfuck that is... Lemmings. Competitive multiplayer.
Including Ferr snapping through repeated defeats to Maxwell
Ferr: There's a HOLE in the BUCKET, DEAR Liza, dear LIZA...
At one point, Ferr kills a ton of Maxwell's lemmings by blocking his door and constantly ordering his own lemmings on suicidal digging missions...briefly causing the normally calm and collected Maxwell to briefly channel Pipes-level outrage.
Maxwell: "You are history's greatest monster!"
From Karaoke Revolution: Pipes! singing... with a mouth full of cookies.
And not long after that, Evek opting to hum the lyrics to "It's the End of the World as We Know It".
Pipes!: This is R.E.M. as sung by a bumblebee.
Pipes!' horrific rendition of "When a Man Loves a Woman" if only for the sheer number of times he ends up getting "Okay!" "Good!" or even "Great!" ratings.
Although the whole LP of Prototype is funny, things really get into CMOF territory starting with this video, where guest commentators Ainsley Mctree and Russ join. It's non-stop jokes from then until the end of the LP (10 videos later), with topics as diverse as Ven Diagrams of Gayness, Arm Wives, Drag-Queen-Ball Z, a little Taint-Math humor, Rape-On (Apply Directly to the Rape), and Cactus Holes.
Alex Mercer (disguised as a soldier) Hey, guys! How about that Military-Industrial Complex, eh? (Jumps 10 feet in the air and glides back down several times) All right, you fucks, drop and give me 20 of whatever the hell I just did!
Essentially every single moment spent with Dongs "REO" Speedwagon in the Oblivion LP. It really just ends up being up to the viewer's opinion where the true funniest moment is. This Troper, though, has to give it to Weebam-Na's unexpected reaction to being frenzied.
and of course, who could forget their real life rendition of your standard Fetch Quest from episode 15?
Maxwell: Get me a beer, it's in the fridge.
Ferr:*a few seconds later* THERE'S DRAGONS IN HERE!!! AAAHHHH!!
pipes!: Let me tell you about my D&D character. ... He's from my favourite animes! ... He has a red trenchcoat and he has a gun, but he only shoots the gun to hurt things, 'cause he doesn't believe in killing.
When they do a playthrough of Kirby Super Star, at one point, Kirby (played by pipes!) and Maxwell get a hold of the Parasol power. What follows is a couple minutes of pipes! and Ferr dandifying it up and speaking in effeminate, Upper-Class Twit-style voices.
Ferr: How does the internet react to our Kirby playing?
50+ minutes of incredibly raucous laughter and giggling, over attempting to get a ragdoll-like man to very slowly nudge himself along, even managing to cross a hurdle at 50m completely on his knees. Accentuated by the brilliant song choices. You haven't lived, son; not until you've witnessed the defeat of QWOP to the tune of "Baby Elephant Walk".
While playing "Born To Run", QWOP looks like he's air guitar-ing. And then he's skipping to "Walking On Sunshine".
At the end of the LP, they find a video of a Japanese user who cleared the course in about two and a half minutes, much to the Astronauts' chagrin. That guy botches the long jump at the very end of the run, his foot registering right at the start of the sand pit...meaning the Astronauts STILL had a better overall score than he did.
Their LP of The Oregon Trail, in which Ferr hulks out during a hunting trip and manages to kill four animals. Nothing else comes onto the screen so he assumes he's wiped out the local population.
The entire LP of Oregon Trail is amazing. Particularly the fact that at the very first river, less than 4 feet deep, Ferr decides to ford the river, resulting in it tipping over and Maxwell's character instantly drowning. From then on, everybody in the wagon basically cycles through diseases and broken limbs.
Ferr's seeming inability to keep drinks in their containers, and out of his eyes.
Rampart causes quite a bit of hilarious rage over failure caused by both incompetence and bad luck.
pipes!: Why, yes, I do love to chug-a-lug cocks; 'cause my name's Maxwell. I carry around a thermos of semen everywhere I go, I like to keep it cold and frosty.
About halfway through the first intermission of the Wii Sports Resort LP (about halfway through) while playing Restaurant Panic they find the ice level, whereupon they start a slew of ice/cold puns. Over half of these puns are in the style of Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze from Batman & Robin.
Their LP of the first level of Killer7 deserves mention, as it mainly consists of them wandering around the game confused and not understanding anything. Eventually they have to call in a Killer7 expert to guide them through. Their reactions to most of the odd things in the game are extremely funny.
pipes!: Incoming ghost-bomb off the port bow...and you got suicide hump-bombed, son!
North Vs South. Any fort mission.
Their first Bomberman video. Any time someone brings up the disease item (which they use STD related innuendo to refer to) and which LPer is controlling which colored Bomberman.
Adding to the humor of the video was the comments from a livestream which were posted into the video. In these discussions various goons, including Diabetes and CherryDoom, place bets on the winner, spread communist propaganda, and argue over being the father/mother of other goons.
Then there was the CPU controlled character who appeared to be glitched as it continued to run back and forth around the area it started in. After a few minutes of going at each other, Ferr finally decides to go after the computer only for the computer to move out of the way at the last second while Ferr managed to trap himself between his own bomb and the explosion from one of Evek's bombs. The next round Ferr attempted to kick bombs at the computer's position from afar only to immediately get caught in the chain blast from his own bomb. At this point everyone was convinced that the computer's apparent glitch was an elaborate strategy to make the human players drop their guards then trick them into killing themselves.
Ferr: He did not "get me good." I got myself.
Stream question: "Which of you would make the best Highlander, but remember, there can be only one". Cue Collective Groan.
Of course, the collective groan comes when the question is answered ("Maxwell, by default") by Ferr, Pipes, and Evek all dying at once.
Diabetus (in Nic Cage voice): Ferr, did you go see my movie by yourself? That's just fuckin' sad.
Ferr's spasmodic dancing in between levels in Shaq Fu.
"Do do DO do do dodo do do do do DO do do dodo do do DELELELELELE"
Ferr has sung this in a number of videos, such as the beginning of the Atari video during Adventure, and pipes! sings it at the start of Toejam & Earl. Apparently it's a reference to something, anyone have any idea what?
Someone made a video putting together many of the times Ferr's gotten hurt- accidentally or because of the other Astronauts.
Ferr: You really... bruised my ego. (punching noises) Oh, no, it hurts!
From their test video of Trespasser, after finally running into dinosaurs Maxwell does what any sensible person would do in this situation: unload their entire clip on the brontosaurs' neck, throws the pistol at it then picks the gun back up so he could try to kill the brontosaurs by pistol whipping it's leg.
Then after encountering their first killable dinosaur, the Astronauts note how cute the raptor looks. After killing it Maxwell proceeds to pet it then spank it.
During a guest stream of Analgun's Left 4 Dead 2 gameplay, during a mutation mode where crouching lets you move at insane speed, at one point Maxwell gets a hold of a chainsaw. He then proceeds to run down irregularhunter.
The half hour of gameplay that is the SimCity playthrough is made entirely of this. It begins with them attempting to name their town "Dongville" but upon realizing that they're only allowed 1 less letter than there is in Dongville they settle on the name Dongvile. It only gets worse from there.
Their first building is a nuclear power plant; after zoning exactly one residential area, they build another nuclear plant right across from the other one.
Upon building a fire station, it is decided that instead of firetrucks, there will instead be a toot-toot Firetrain running between the station and the one industrial zone. Yes, you read that right. A Firetrain.
A set of 4 commercial zones is built across a river from everything else, meaning that no cars should feasibly be able to get over there. Which is a perfect excuse for building a massive parking lot bigger than a zone.
Which then has one lonely park built inside it for good measure.
During their LP of Pepsiman, when Evek and Ferr thought of one the many obstacles of the game (tumbleweeds) were rocks:
Maxwell: Well, rocks don't generally blow across the road like that. Ferr:(deadpan) You've never heard of rock 'n roll?