Painful Rhyme

"Nothing rhymes with that. What is he going to put there? Coachable? Poachable? No. No. He's either going to rhyme it with itself, or he's going to come up with this horrible forced rhyme that won't fit at all unless he twists the words beyond recognition."
Todd in the Shadows, on Wiz Khalifa's "Black and Yellow"

A Music Trope. It's when you hear a rhyme in a song, or read it in a poem, and you're compelled to cringe at how painfully it's forced in. Maybe the sentence was rearranged into grammatical nonsense to accommodate it, or the rhythm was broken, or maybe it verges on nonsensical. Maybe words had to be intentionally mispronounced to make it rhyme, or an unlikely metaphor invented. In any case, they were really better off not bothering to make it rhyme. Bonus points if it doesn't even quite rhyme, or if they're just repeating rather than rhyming. It's common for amateur poets to do this, since they often rigidly adhere to an "ABAB" rhyme scheme, forcing them to twist their verse into grotesque contortions. It doesn't seem to occur to them that there may be other rhyme schemes or that poems don't have to rhyme at all.

This is at least partially the fault of the English language itself, as it's generally harder to find rhymes in it than other languages. Also, sometimes the difference between accents may make a rhyme painful in America that isn't in Britain or Australia, and vice versa.

Here is a list of technical names for rhymes that may cause this trope (They're all legitimate, mind you.):

  • oblique: a rhyme with an imperfect match in sound. (one/thumb)
  • assonance: matching vowels. (shake/hate)
  • consonance: matching consonants. (rabies/robbers)
  • half rhyme: matching final consonants. (bent/ant, orange/porridge)
  • identity: rhyming a sound with itself or a homophone. (foul/fowl, grace/disgrace)

A common source of Painful Rhymes is the Stock Rhyme, such as girl/world, which is painful primarily because it's overused. An extreme case is the Mid Word Rhyme. Often a form of Lyrical Shoehorn.

Sublime Rhyme is an index of tropes with rhyming names and not the opposite of this trope, so don't get confused.

Examples

    open/close all folders 

    Advertising 
  • T-Mobile's 2012 "Test Drive" campaign jingle: "Five, six, West Phoenix," "A thousand-eight, a thousand-nine, Dallas, Denver, Anaheim," et cetera, with bonus scansion failure and AcCENT Upon the Wrong SylLABle.
  • This song from an old Zelda commercial:
    It's The Legend of Zelda, and it's really rad!
    Those creatures from Ganon are pretty bad!
    Octorocks, tektites, and leevers, too,
    But with your help, our hero pulls through!
    Yeah! Go, Link! Yeah!
    (Wikky-wikky-wikky-wik)
  • Traaan-sformers!
    New Dread-wing
    Is punish-ing
    His Gatling gun is illin!
    This Decepticon bomber's
    A Transformerama!
    A three-in-one villain that's chillin!
  • According to this Street Fighter Hall of Fame toy commercial, "Blanka's gonna bonk ya!"
  • The General of Car insurance fame just cannot rhyme at all.
    For the best insurance rates in town
    Call 1-800-GENERAL now!
    • That was its jingle for a while, but when it decided to get a new one that focuses on serving its customers online, General still couldn't fix its rhyming problems
    For the great low rates you can get online
    Go to the General and save some time!
  • The Puffs tissue commercials. They'll try to make it all rhyme, and then one line (typically at the end) will be jarring as it won't rhyme and will have a completely different rhythm/metre than the others, because they suddenly realise they have to cram a lot of information into only one line of verse.
  • From a Siemens jingle. The singer does her best to hide that there really isn't a rhyme.
    Harness the power
    The time is now
  • And from an old Wuzzles commercial:
    "I got a Wuzzle
    "I'm gonna snuggle
    "Funny yessiree
    "'Cause he's part elephant
    "And part kangaree
    "Oh! Roo!"
  • Lampshaded at the end of a Best Buy Holiday 2013 commercial, where "triumph" is "rhymed" with "pie-umph."
    Narrator: Pie-umph? *thinks for a moment then shrugs*
  • From a commercial for Crispy Thins from Wheat Thins:
    Hippie singer: "Part chip, part cracker, it's a chacker!"
  • This Looney Tunes Die cast toys commercial.
    "Porky Pig is working down on the ranch.
    And Bugs Bunny flies by the seat of his pants!"
  • In a Drive Time.com commercial, one of the ditzy rescue girls tries to come up with an off-the-cuff jingle and fails miserably: "A lot, on the lot, all ready to be bought, even if you've got bad cred…dot"
  • Col. Sanders promotes his new meal at KFC.
    "Three chicken tenders,
    taters and gravy.
    I throw in a biscuit
    and a big ol' cookie."
  • An example involving forced assonance: in Britain the Automobile Association had a major advertising campaign in which the tag line was simply "Ask the AA" - but written in the form AASK THE AA. The problem is, whoever was responsible didn't stop to think this only really works in those parts of Britain (mainly Southern England) where spoken English uses the long "a" vowel. Oop North and elsewhere, this was seen as forced, contrived and in its implication that everyone speaks this sort of English by default, somewhat alienating.
  • One infamous commercial for Frosties (the UK name for Frosted Flakes) had the singer pronouncing "pirate" very oddly (as pie-rate) to make it rhyme with other words in the song like "plate" and "date".

    Anime and Manga 

    Comic Books 
  • Lampshaded in Fables: Frau Totenkinder's spell/Takes a normal message and turns it into doggerel.
  • Etrigan The Demon, in The DCU, traditionally speaks in rhyme. Under a skilled writer, such as Alan Moore (who set the rule that The Demon must speak in Gratuitous Iambic Pentameter), his speech is great, even lyrical at times. Under not-so-skilled writers... it's this trope.
    • In Spanish translations at Editorial Vid/Novaro (Latin America) and Zinco (Spain) it is ALWAYS this trope.
    Etrigan: In orifices best left unsayed, he'll go 'round stuffing hand grenades!
  • The rather painful first "boss battle" in the first Scott Pilgrim comic book, where almost everything a character says rhymes.
  • A Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi comic book story has Ami, while writing a song, getting bent out of shape because she can't find a word that rhymes with "orange." Yumi leads her into "door hinge."

    Fan Fic 

    Films — Animation 
  • In A Goofy Movie, Goofy does this during his and Max's heartwarming song, "Nobody Else But You":
    Who deserves a hero's trophy
    As we face each cata-STRO-phe?
    Nobody else but you.
  • Fun and Fancy Free: The Mickey and the Beanstalk segment has the bridge of Willie the Giant's "I Am" Song.
    I can change myself into an elf
    Fly up high like the birdies
    I can disappear into atmosphere
    'Cause I know the magic wordies

    Films — Live-Action 
  • Irreconcilable Differences has Ryan O'Neal's character directing a hilariously awful musical version of Gone with the Wind, with his girlfriend and "actress" (Sharon Stone) playing Scarlett and singing lines like:
    This Civil War ain't gonna get me down
    I'm taking my act to a brand new town
    This belle rings in Old Atlanta
    I'm gonna find myself a brand new Santa!
  • In Monty Python and the Holy Grail, there's the Knights of the Round Table, whose "shows are for-mid-able, but many times we're given rhymes that are quite un-sing-able".
  • The Wizard of Oz: the brilliant Yip Harburg makes this part of the film's whimsical style, via Refuge in Audacity. The Cowardly Lion in particular carries many of them:
    • From "If I Only Had The Nerve":
      I could demonstrate my prowess,
      Be a lion, not a
      mow-ess (i.e. "mouse").
    • "The King of the Forest" manages to rhyme "brontosaurus" with "king o' the fores'", "hippopotamus" with "top to bottom-us" and "elephant" with "cellophant".
    • Though the lyric doesn't appear in the film, the full version of "If I Only Had a Brain" has the rhyme "Perhaps I'd deserve you/and be even worthy urve you".
  • In Zero Effect, Zero stumbles upon a poem written by his client when he went to college, rhyming "Towards" with "Birds", which makes him rather angry.
  • The Avengers end credit song "Live to Rise" has only three rhymes, at most, that don't sound too forced. The less polished lyrics pile on especially hard during the second verse. Both verses rhyme "alone" and "go," and the chorus rhymes "rise" and "die."
    What if the one thing that I missed
    Was everything I need to pass the test
    And if I fail, what happens then
    Can I still count on you as a friend
  • The entirety of "T.U.R.T.L.E. Power" by Partners in Kryme, which played during the credits of live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) . Awkward sentence-warping, full lines of nonsense, predictable rhyming pairs, wonky metaphors, and the mislabeling of Raphael as the leader (probably for the sake of rhyme/meter... not like they really adhered to a meter anyway) — it's pretty painful. But for some, it hurts so good. Probably the worst is this couplet:
    Now this is for real so you fight for justice
    Your shell is hard so you shout "They can't dust us"
It makes more sense (and becomes less painful) if you realize the sentence continues on the next line.
Your shell is hard, so you shout, "They can't dust us
Off, like some old coffee table"
  • In The Sunshine Boys, Willie Clark is reading Variety while his nephew visits, when he comes across an item about a songwriter who died.
    Willie: Know what kind of songs he wrote? Shit. Lady, lady, be my baby? "Lady" he rhymes with "baby". No wonder he's dead.
  • Lampshaded for a laugh in Saving Mr. Banks. P.L. Travers is doing a script read of Walt Disney's adaptation of her books, and the Sherman Brothers are performing the music they've written for the movie. She listens to them sing a line from the opening number of the film—"Constable's responstable"—and stops the song, insisting that "responstable" isn't a word. The brothers explain that they've made it up, and she sternly tells them to "un-make it up." Richard Sherman then sheepishly hides another piece of music with the word "Supercalifraglis..."on top.
  • Lampshaded and subverted in Who Framed Roger Rabbit:
    Eddie Valiant: I'm through with taking falls
    And bouncing off the walls
    Without that gun, I'd have some fun
    I'd kick you in the... (gets clobbered by a bottle)
    Roger Rabbit: Nose!
    Smart Ass: Nose? That don't rhyme with walls!
    Eddie Valiant: (having recovered and gotten up) No, but this does! (demonstrates the word in question)
  • The Bedknobs and Broomsticks song "Portobello Road" has some cringeworthy lines heard only on the soundtrack, and in the extended 25th Anniversary Edition.
    • "A lady will always feel dressed a la mode/In frillies she finds in the Portobello Road."
    • Another part of the song has a saleslady claim to sell "garments as suchess/was worn by a duchess".
  • Halloweentown invokes this when Marnie tries to magically open the gate to her Grandma Aggie's house:
    Marnie: Big iron lock that keeps us out, open up your big iron mouth!
    Dylan: You call that a spell? "Out" and "mouth" don't even rhyme!

    Literature 
  • In Peter S. Beagle's The Last Unicorn, Lir's love poetry to "Amalthea" uses this as a form of Stylistic Suck (since his poetry is supposed to be terrible):
    "It's certainly heartfelt", she said. "Can you really rhyme 'bloomed' with 'ruined?'"
  • Wayside School Gets a Little Stranger has at least four Stylistic Suck examples as Mrs. Jewels asks the kids to write poems about colors. These probably stand out the most:
    "Yellow" by Kathy
    I really don't feel well, oh.
    I don't know who to tell, oh.
    I'm sick and I smell, oh.
    My barf is yellow.

    "Red" by Joe
    The fire truck is red!
    It hurried!
    The siren wailed!
    The building burned!
    The firemen saved
    the baby who screamed.
    • To be fair, it was shown that he hadn't quite grasped the idea of how to rhyme and that he took Mrs Jewels 'Look for words that end in ed' suggestion a little too literally.
  • A passage from the English translation of Tove Janssons 'Comet In Moominland:
    Then Snufkin said: "You could write a poem about this. What about:
    Floating on this eerie water
    Far away from bricks and mortar."
    "Saw a mermaid— didn't caught her", suggested Sniff, blowing his nose.
    "That's not true, not grammar, and it doesn't even rhyme properly", said Snufkin, and the subject dropped.

  • In the P. G. Wodehouse book Uncle Fred in the Springtime the Duke has a particular hatred for the song The Bonnie Banks o' Loch Lomond because it attempts to rhyme "afore ye" with "Lomond" and he plans to toss eggs at the gardener who keeps whistling it under his window.
    • The song doesn't actually attempt to rhyme that at all. It's just a song that doesn't rhyme. Not all songs rhyme. Who knows if the Duke knows this or not, though?
  • In Wolves of the Calla, fifth in The Dark Tower series, "The Rice Song" is essentially made of this. King describes some of the rhymes in it as "rape rhymes" (one can only hope this is a technical term), "words that didn't rhyme at all but were forced to for a moment within the borders of the song". The words Eddie can make out follow:

    Come-come-commala
    Rice come a-falla
    I-sissa 'ay a-bralla
    Dey come a-folla
    Down come a-rivva
    Or-i-za we kivva
    Rice be a green-o
    See all we seen-o
    Seen-o the green-o
    Come-come-commala!

    Come-come-commala
    Rice come a-falla
    Deep inna walla
    Grass come-commala
    Under the sky-o
    Grass green n high-o
    Girl n her fella
    Lie down togetha
    They slippy 'ay slide-o
    Under 'ay sky-o
    Come-come-commalla
    Rice come a-falla!
  • Some older works can sound this way, depending on the time period. The Canterbury Tales contain several instances (typically at least one per page) of rhymes that worked back in the fourteenth century with a British accent, but not in Modern English.
  • Lampshaded in the Illuminatus!-trilogy when it is revealed that dolphins are masterful poets; unfortunately as advanced as Hagbard Celine's supercomputer FUCKUP is, the best it can manage in translating their language belongs to this trope.
  • In Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell Strange's attempt to become a poet was derailed when, while writing his first poem, he failed to find an appropriate rhyme for "let love suffice"; coming up with "sunk in vice", "what's the price?", and "a pair of mice" he went for a ride to clear his head, then never looked at the poem again.
  • In The Name of the Wind, the main character mocks someone by pointing out how godawful it is. Many times. With FEELING.
    • And to be fair, he should know, because there are a number of times where he breaks into rhymed verse in the middle of a conversation, though one was with a member of the Fae and the other was probably intentional.
  • Protagonist Stile intentionally used assonance in his fight with the White Adept in Blue Adept. Stile swapped out words in his spells ("Form a pyre/burn like fir") so that the spells would immediately fizzle out, roving what he could do to White if he really wanted to. Subverted in that full Adepts can't hurt each other, one-on-one (he didn't know this until White told him), so the full spells may have done less damage.
  • The Blue Ribbon Day, by Katie Couric. Nearly every page has at least one. One of the worst examples would be:
    So the two go together the day after school.
    With Miss Rigg's supervision (you know, that's the rule),
    they got out their beakers and their Bunsen burners
    and decided to find out if they were fast learners.
  • The book for The Elf on the Shelf was written in rhyme, but sadly most of the rhymes aren't that great. Towards the end for about a page the rhyme scheme completely breaks down and several lines comply with neither the rhyme scheme nor the meter, making for an absolutely painful read. You have to wonder if the authors wouldn't have been better off abandoning the rhyming completely and just telling a straight story.
  • The big bad in The Exploits of Ebenezum is Guxx Unfufadoo, a demon that gains power by rhyming. Let's just say it's lucky that the power boost depends on the quantity of rhymes rather than their quality.

    Live-Action TV 
  • The FN'MTV 2009 New Year's special "A Miley-Sized Surprise" featured an ongoing rhyming narration overlapping this trope with Totally Radical in lines such as "OMG! In the house with Miley C!"
  • Gene Roddenberry wrote lyrics to the theme for Star Trek: The Original Series, not because he ever intended them to be used, but just to get a cut of the royalties. It's chock full of crimes against rhyme and scansion, but the worst of them has to be:
    I know... his... journey ends never
    His star trek... will... go on forever
  • The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme — yes, it's a classic and a total Crowd Song, but that doesn't excuse
    I whistled for a cab and when it came near
    The license plate said "FRESH" and there was dice in the mi'r.
    • Several black dialects actually DO pronounce the word "mirror" shortened as "meer".
  • Red Dwarf plays the trope for laughs with Rimmer's Villain Song (each chorus line ends with 'Rimmer' or something which rhymes). The deleted final verse discusses how they've almost run out of rhymes to use.
    • Also Lister is writing a song about Kochanski, but the only rhyming word he can think of is Underpantski!
    • Lister is also responsible for "The Indling Song":
      Our love I tried to kindle,
      Like firelight it dwindled,
      Now I wonder when this wind'll,
      Ever stop.
  • Played for humor as the entire basis of Hugh Laurie's "Mystery", as performed on A Bit of Fry and Laurie:
    Estuary
    I live in a houseboat on an estuary
    Which is handy for my work with the Thames Water Authority
    But I know you would have found it insanitary
    • Many of his other songs do the same thing. For instance, his creepy love song to tennis player Steffi Graf.
    When she hits that topspin second serve,
    I think I know the meaning now of lurve.
  • The Golden Girls episode "Big Daddy's Little Lady" has a number of examples of this in the "B" plot, which is about Rose Nylund (Betty White) and Dorothy Zbornak (Bea Arthur) writing a song about Miami for a songwriting competition. Their first attempt turns out like this:
    Dorothy: [singing] Miami is nice/So I'll say it twice/Miami is nice/Miami is nice/Miami is- [stops singing] Wait a minute, wait a minute. You put in an extra "Miami is nice."
    Rose: I had to. It hurts the music if you don't put it in.
    Dorothy: But the lyrics don't make any sense! I mean, it goes, "Miami is nice/So I'll say it TWICE."
    Rose: Oh, I see your point. Well, what about this? "Miami is nice/So I'll say it thrice."
    Dorothy: "Thrice"?! Who the hell says "thrice"?!
    Rose: It's a word!
    Dorothy: So is "interuterine"! It does not belong in a song.
    Rose: [singing] Miami, you're cuter than/An interuterine!
    • In their second attempt, they change "Miami" to "Miami Beach" because of the difficulty of finding a word to rhyme with "Miami," but Blanche Devereaux (Rue McClanahan) notices the addition right away and points it out.
    Rose: I told you not to add "Beach"!
    Dorothy: Fine, fine! YOU find something to rhyme with "Miami," hotshot!
    Rose: Mammy, whammy, clammy, Alabammy, hootenanny, salami...
    Dorothy: "Hootenanny" is marginal, and I refuse to accept "salami"!
    • Earlier in the episode, Rose sings her high school's fight song to Dorothy as an example of her songwriting talents: "Onward St. Olaf, onward we go, onward and onward St. Olaf's go! Go go go, go go go..." This comes up again at the tail end of the second argument when Rose complains, "I never had this trouble when I was working alone," and Dorothy retorts, "When you worked alone, the only word you could rhyme with 'go' was 'go.'"
  • Lampshaded in the Mystery Science Theater 3000 song "Where Oh Werewolf":
    Mike: My mother and pop, they disapprove
    But no one can stop us, 'cause it's true loove.
    Bots: Huh? "Loove"?
    Mike: Well, I had to rhyme the two words.
    I hear that train comin', comin' round the hill.
    I hope that is my train - I better check my schedule.
    Oops, that was the train to Appleton, but it's going to Circle Pines.
    And I've got about twenty minutes to kill;
    It's a good thing I brought some magazines (pronounced with an "eye" sound).
  • Sesame Street had Ernie sing the following song during a mini-musical about the seasons:
    "Three cheers for summer! There's fishing and swimming!"
    The beaches are open for men and for wimming!"
  • On Survivor, the rhyming "tree-mails" announcing challenges are always chock full of forced rhymes and awful meter. You'd think after twenty seasons, the mail-writers would get pretty good at it, but apparently not.
  • The song What Kind of God from the second episode of Mongrels contains this gem that must be a parody:
    Kali: Who brings toddlers to weddings?
    God: I shall smite them!
    Kali: Wasps?
    God: Oh, why did I cre-ite them?
  • My heart expands
    It has grown a bulge in't
    Inspired by your beauty
    Effulgent
  • While he didn't write the song, "Weird Al" Yankovic had one of these in his performance of "Polka Patterns" on Square One TV:
    A polkameister like myself never has to be bored
    I just grab my axe and play some patterns on my keyboard
    • Not that this stopped him from using the same rhyme in "White and Nerdy".
    • Lampshaded in This song is just six words long:
      ...I know if I put my mind to it
      I know I can find a good rhyme here
      Oh you gotta have a music
      You need really catchy music...
  • There's Robin Sparkles' hit single, Let's Go to the Mall, with lines that only rhyme in Canadian:
    Come on Jessica, come on Tori,
    Let's go to the mall, you won't be sorry!
    Put on your jelly bracelet and your cool graffiti coat
    At the mall, having fun is what it's all about!
    • When Ted figured out that Robin stopped being friends with her old BFF, Jessica Glitter, when she (Jessica) got pregnant, we get this little gem:
      When Glitter's womb a fruit did bear
      Robin said, "To hell with this, I'm out of hhh...hare"
  • The full version of the theme song to Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers somehow managed to rhyme "hands" with "defence".
  • Due to the fact that the songs are all improvised, this happens a lot on Whose Line Is It Anyway?.
    • One hilarious example was during a "Greatest Hits" game about doctors. Chip's attempt to fit a rhyme by cramming it in with a lengthy, rhythm-shattering sentence is so bad it causes Wayne to completely lose it:
    Your headache's as big as the nation,
    That's why I'm writing this prescription.
    And I am just gonna give you these pills
    So you won't have a predilection to take another one!
    • And then there was Wayne's Let's Make A Date competitor who was also a politician running for office and his love poem/campaign speech:
    A woman like you is so first-rate
    That's how I acquaint you to this beautiful state
    I'd love to run my hands through your rich, lush foliage
    And to be your man, it would be my priv-o-ledge.
    • This trope is taken to the logical extreme in this clip when Drew cannot think of a line quickly and splutters something out for Ryan to deal with later.
    • At one point, Colin has to come up with a rhyme for "fire extinguisher". His response? "Ding-a ding-a dingisher!"
    • In one game Brad sings a song about a girl called "Niroshi". His attempts to rhyme with her name include "suntan loshi", "pacific oshi" and "we're so closey".
  • Intentionally in the closing credits of Murder Most Horrid: "And you wake in the night, wipe the sweat from your forrid/Murder most horrid". The final season included variants, some of which were smoother ("And you wake in the night, your face flushed and florid") and some of which were worse ("And you wake in the night, wearing something you've borrid").
    • And finally gave up completely with "La, la, la, la... lorrid".
  • In series 6 of Knightmare, Treguard's closing verse in series 6 required him to rhyme 'foul' with 'hour' every week. Earlier series also had a Previously On delivered in verse, which usually had at least one painful forced rhyme. Lampshaded in one recap:
    They perished, all: though what a pity
    It does help rhyme this awful ditty.
  • The hilariously terrible "Jingle Man, Christmas Boy", a new Christmas carol written by Stephen Colbert for his Christmas Special. "Boy" not only rhymes with "toys" but also with "Illinois".
  • This is used for a joke in Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad, when Sidney wishes that someone would write a song for her.
    Tanker: Quick! What rhymes with "Sidney"?
    Amp: Um, "kidney"?
  • Some Horrible Histories songs, including the Boudicca song which mispronounces "woman" to rhyme with "Roman". All part of the humor in this case.
  • The Addams Family
    Their house is a museum
    When people come to see 'em
    They really are a screa-um, The Addams Family!
  • Conversational Troping - In the Doctor Who story "The Macra Terror", the Doctor - being dragged off to do force labour in a Crapsaccharine World mining gang - feels this way about a musical announcement that rhymes 'Colony' with 'work':
    Dreadful. Did you hear that rhyme? The man who wrote that ought to be sent to the Danger Gang, not us.
  • Played for Laughs in an sketch of The Amanda Show featuring a class of teens with superpowers. Josh Peck's character, Billy, has the gift of "super-rhyming"—"Yeah! I do it all the time...ing." As he's compelled to make a couplet out of whatever someone last said, the results are, well...
    Miss DeBoat: Why are you all snickering?
    Billy: At least we're not bickering!
    Lisa: You're giving us a pop quiz?!
    Billy: If you spill a soda, you have to...mop...fizz.
    Lisa: Reggie's a super-burper.
    Billy: When I kiss a girl, I slurp 'er!
  • With the exception of the songs and the voting, everything in the Eurovision Song Contest in 2001 was done in rhyming couplets.

     Radio 
  • Frequently used in the Limericks round on I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, an inevitable result of asking the team to compose a limerick, a line at a time, on the spur of the moment.
    Humph: That warrior Coriolanus,
    Barry: Did several things that were heinous,
    Willie: He tortured the cat,
    Graeme: Set fire to my hat,
    Tim: And now he's been sick in my trainers.

    Toys 
  • The poems on the tags of some Beanie Babies can lapse into this. An egregious example is "The End" the Bear, whose poem tries to rhyme "to an end" with "everyone".

    Video Games 
  • Sing it, Fallout 3 fans: "They have things like the atom bomb... so I think I'll stay where I om...civilizatiooooonnnnn, I'll stay right heeeerrreee!!!" "Civilization (Bongo Bongo Bongo)" was not written for the game; it's an actual song by Danny Kaye with the Andrews Sisters. Kaye was known for a) rapid patter (not really evident here) b) bizarre dialects (it's not clear what his dialect is supposed to be, but he does lapse into ... something ... at times in the song) and c) humorously forced rhymes (oh my yes).
  • The poem you get after beating 8-4 in Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels, which also appears in Vs. Super Mario Bros.:
    Peace is paved/With kingdom saved/Hurrah to Marionote /Our only hero/This ends your trip/Of a long friendshipnote 
  • Shantotto once rhymes a word with her LAUGH. If it's not forced I don't know what is.
    • Another thing that she seems to have some kind of issue with is meter. To wit:
    Shantotto: I don't make threats!
    If there's no result by the time I'm done researching the ultimate spell, it's too late for regrets!
  • In the search-and-find game Penny Dreadfuls: Sweeney Todd many of the songs in the cut scenes tend to fall victim to this. Nice melodies, sure; okay singing, sure; smooth lyrics...eh. It's hard not to cringe at lines like "Joanna, I felt you watching over me / As I fought the perils of the sea / And almost drowned in my own misery".
  • In The Curse of Monkey Island, Guybrush purposely derails an overly-long-song by pitching the word orange into the rhymes. The singers are unable to come up with anything fitting.
  • Persona 3 has the epic opening song, 'Burn My Dread'. There is a really weird pronunciation of the word 'despair' (dis-pie-air). When you listen to the full version, you realise they're trying to rhyme 'despair' with 'Hell's fire'... which is right at the other end of the track, and not included in the opening video at all.
  • The iDOLM@STER features the song "READY!!" which features the refrain "Are you ready? / I'm [a] lady!" which sounds incredibly forced to a native English speaker. In Japanese however, which has no R/L distinction, the words turn into homonyms, making it a much less grating pun. A rare case of the singers' usually fantastic English diction actually working against them somewhat.
  • Fallen London uses the concept for humor in the flavor text which indicates progress in writing a commissioned poem. It's an epic - four hundred stanzas. And it's about mushrooms. "The work advances. Are you actually going to rhyme 'mushroom' with 'room'? I mean actually?"
  • Sonic Adventure 2's rap music in Knuckles' stages are usually full of this:
    Echidona, that's what I'm representin'
    Never seen a mic-hog spit like a menace

    A double cross spot-thief that's out for my jewels
    I'm feeling her in mysterious ways
    That's why I stay on point like every single day
    I gotta protect this place, I do it for my race
  • Since Child of Light has all its dialogue in rhymes, there are bound to be a number of these. Examples include rhyming "delicious" with "ravenous".
  • A Tale of Two Kingdoms shows a rhyming poem on your character's gravestone if you die. Most are decent, but the one for when you fail to escape from the sorcerer's tower in time after grabbing an item there attempts to rhyme "wizards" with "anger", and fails.
  • In Delicious 9: Emily's Honeymoon Cruise the title character's uncle has a crush on her mother-in-law. After sending her eight bouquets of roses fails spectacularly, he tries his hand at poetry, reciting it to her in the ship's spa.
    Brigid, Brigid, Brigid,
    In my heart you're not a midget.
    For you I would cross bridges.
    I would give you all my riches.
    Then you wouldn't be so frigid.
    Don't you think so, Brigid?
  • In-universe; in Violet, if the protagonist tries to work to MC Dingo's music, they're distracted by his rhymes of 'casino'/'albino' and 'zebra'/'Deborah'.

    Web Animation 
  • Yahtzee decided that the reboot of Wolfenstein was such a boring game any normal review of it would also be boring, and so performed most of his review of the game in limerick form. Since it's played for laughs, the ridiculous rhymes come off as more hilarious than painful.
    "I know what you're gonna say: "Yahtzee!
    You sleek internet paparazzi!
    Surely it's always fun
    To stick the butt of a gun
    Up the arse of a goose-stepping Nazi!"
    • He also lays into Child of Light for using this too often, as it completely disrupted any immersion he may have otherwise had.
  • Homestar Runner: Strong Bad comments on this during Marzipan's song "Sensitive to Bees", where she rhymes "fruit" with "cute". Then "cute", "cute", and "cute".
    Strong Bad: Oh, "fruit" and "cute". Good rhyme!
    Strong Bad: Oh, cute, CUTE and cute. You're like the poet laureate of...
  • Ultra Fast Pony. Spike writes a poem with an abundance of rhyming with “who”, then he forces “here we go” into this rhyme scheme by pronouncing it “here we goo”. He cringes slightly as he reads this part aloud.
  • In Mondo's video "Back of the Line," we have Tim Cook trying to rap at the beginning, even though everyone wants the ghost of Steve Jobs to do it (who later shows up after this epic fail).
    Tim Cook: Hey there Apple fans, it's your main man, Cook
    Uh, saying rhymes, on... on time... uh... oh ho, books.

    Webcomics 
  • In this Dinosaur Comics, T-Rex tries to rap but his rhymes turn out painfully terrible.
  • The Filk Songs found in the comments section of Narbonic and Skin Horse. ("Girl/world" is a repeat offender, given that Helen Narbon is a girl who wants to rule the ... well, you know.) Frequently the bad rhymes are done for comic effect ...
    • Rhyming "live-action movie" with "David Duchovny"???
    • Yes, but they're filk songs. (And sometimes they're better than the originals.)
  • A few of the rhymes in this cartoon of The KAMics.
  • Elan's song in this Order of the Stick strip is hilariously bad, even moreso than usual. The worst rhymes are untilled/killed, wooden/pudding, and grass'n/assassin. It's Lampshaded in the title, "You Try Rhyming 'Assassin'"
  • "Super Stupor", a side feature of Randy Milholland's Something*Positive, had a brief appearance by a bottom-rung villain named Crimer Rhymer, who normally spoke in very forced rhymes. ("I don't know what you mean / My record from errors is clean.")
  • Least I Could Do: Rayne often does "beat" poetry at the local coffeehouse. Also, this strip.
  • During a Keiki story in which the title character is officially proclaimed the smartest persion in Hawai'i, Beefer challenges her to come up with a rhyme for "orange." She answers, "The rock guy screamed, 'more grunge!' as he ate an or-ange."
  • Penny and Aggie features Penny rhyming to Karen that "Boys don't make passes/at girls that wear glasses// But boys think it's way sick/when girls get Lasik."
  • There was once a man from a ruggery. He engaged in consensual heterosexual sex that was well within the confines of acceptable marital bedroom conduct... ery.
  • From +EV: The Princess Amazia theme song.

    Web Original 
  • A couple examples from The Nostalgia Chick
    • Her review of He-Man & She-Ra: The Secret of the Sword started with her critiquing the opening theme.
      Singer: Somewhere out there someone needs me / I don't know how or where but believe me
      Chick: That doesn't rhyme.
      Singer: I walk the universe to find her / For better or for worse beside her
      Chick: No.
      Singer: A stranger walked into my world / And when he talked I really heard
      Chick: ...?
    • At the end of The Nostalgia Chick's video about The Worst Witch film Doug Walker sings a song which is full of nonsensical forced rhymes with "Halloween", mirroring Tim Curry's musical number in the film.
      Check out this effect on my green screen
      If I had another name it would be Dean
  • Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog has "Brand New Day":
    This appeared
    as a moral dilemma
    Cause at first it was weird
    Though I swore to elimi-
    nate the worst of the dregs
    • However, it fits, it scans, and it is awesome.
  • Dragon Ball Z Abridged has Recoome. "The name's ... Recoome! It rhymes ... with doom! And you're gonna be hurtin' all! ... Too! ... Soon!"
  • Plenty in Epic Rap Battles of History:
    • Kim Jong-Il vs. Hulk Hogan: rhymes "bitch, let me give you a tour" with "my dick is bigger than yours."
    • Albert Einstein vs. Stephen Hawking: Einstein rhyming "serious" with "theory was"
    • Wright Bros. vs Mario Bros: "Look at these two, their lives must've been horrible / Two dorky dudes named Wilbur and Or-i-ville"
    • Cleopatra vs. Marilyn Monroe:
      • "Whose rap flow's the dopest? Marilyn Monroe's is"
      • "You wear too much eyeliner for anyone to adore you/You might as well be working on the door at Sephora" is probably one of the most painful rhymes in ERB yet.
    • Sherlock Holmes vs. Batman: Rhyming "streets" with "mysteries" in Batman vs. Sherlock Holmes.
    • Thomas Edison vs. Nikola Tesla: Edison rhymes "gently" with "directly".
    • Skrillex vs. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: More subtle, but Mozart has to pronounce "here" very oddlynote  so he can rhyme it with "diarrhea". However, many people pronounce "here" in such a manner. Including many rappers, so this isn't so much a Painful Rhyme, but an accent thing.
    • Rasputin vs. Stalin:
      • The last six lines of Rasputin's verse respectively end with: "mind," "price," "lives," "Kryptonite," "hypnotize," and "wife."
      • Lenin rhymes 'Right hand man' with... 'Right hand, man.' The context it's used in is clever, but it's still unpleasant to the ear.
    • Blackbeard vs. Al Capone
      • Due to where he puts the emphases, Blackbeard's line "You're an obese greasy sleaze squeezing a diseased peter" definitely doesn't flow as well as it could.
      • In the same battle, it's clear that Blackbeard's trying to rhyme "Irate" and "Pirate" in an earlier line.
    • Muhammad Ali vs. Michael Jordan: Muhammad Ali turning "wobblin'" and "goblin" into three-syllable words.
    • Zeus vs. Thor
      • Thor rhyming 'drizzle' with 'sniffles' in his battle with Zeus is especially painful to listen to, both because it doesn't rhyme and has no flow or music to disguise how bad it sounds.
      • The lines in Zeus' third verse end: skies, lines, rhymes, died
    • Jack The Ripper vs. Hannibal Lecter
      • Hannibal Lecter attempts to rhyme "attention" with "Simpson". Suffice to say, it doesn't work.
      • Jack the Ripper rhyming "locked door" with "got caught" is an admirable but unfortunate attempt at a double rhyme.
    • Ellen Degeneres vs. Oprah Winfrey
      • Oprah Winfrey rhyming "for ya" with "Porsche", which doesn't sound well. It's also a pun on Portia De Rossi, Ellen's wife so perhaps that was the point.
      • Ellen herself rhymes "mention" with "lesbian". *shudder*
    • Steven Spielberg vs. Alfred Hitchcock
      • Steven Spielberg rhymes "Psycho" with "Lifeboat" and "Vertigo" with "Murder ya".
      • Alfred Hitchcock is guilty of trying to rhyme "turd kind" with "this time".
      • Stanley Kubrick rhymes "visionary" with... "make it". He was trying to rhyme "make it" with "painting," which admittedly isn't any better.
    • David Copperfield vs. Harry Houdini: Harry Houdini uses these constantly. Just to name a few: "Houdini" with "linguini", "David" with "baby", "bitch" with "strip", and "bag" with "half".
    • Terminator vs Robocop
      • Most of the Terminator's lines are like this, although this is quite justified. Some examples:
      • "trilogy" to rhyme with "industry"
      • "supercomputers" with "cold press juicer"
      • Perhaps one of the most extreme examples of the trope: rhyming "grenades" with "leg".
    • Eastern Philosophers vs. Western Philosophers
      • Lao Tzu and Sun Tzu attempt to rhyme "opportunity" with "it is empty".
      • Up to Eleven with Voltaire's last verse, where he ends every line with "frank."
    Let me be frank
    Don't start beef with the Frank
    Who hangs with B. Franks
    Givin' ladies beef franks!
    • Sun Tzu rhyming "disrespect" with "sense" isn't as painful as others listed on this page, but then you realize that instead of "disrespect" he could have said "offense," which would rhyme and make sense.
    • Deadpool vs Boba Fett: Deadpool rhymes "katanas" with..... "bananas." And "pajamas." Yes, it's as painful to hear as it is to read. Admittedly, though, it's absolutely something Deadpool would say.
    • Gordon Ramsay vs Julia Child: Ramsay is the worst offender, rhyming pitch with lit, table with grateful and hollerin’ with intolerant in just his first verse, which isn’t as bad as what he tries to rhyme next: chest with Shrek, date with bouillabaisse, and eight with brains. It’s a testament to the writers’/performers’ skill that this is still one of the best episodes of the season thus far.
    • James Bond vs Austin Powers: Connery!Bond rhymes “distinguished” with “Dinklage” and “runt” with “want”. No Sean, your Scottish accent doesn’t give you a pass.
    • Ash Ketchum vs Charles Darwin has the latter rhyme "selection" with "eleven".
      • Ash also dips into this once; during a few lines with words that rhyme with "species", he says "Reese's Pieces" with the 'e' sounds stretched to fit the scheme.
    • Tony Hawk vs Wayne Gretzky has Gretzky rhyming "plen-ty of 'em" with "one hundred eighty-three of 'em" with a very noticeable AcCENT Upon the Wrong SylLABle.
    • Theodore Roosevelt vs. Winston Churchill: Churchill rhymes "darkness" with "parks, yes" and also gives us this clunky rhyme scheme:
    I'll fight you on the beaches
    I'll fight you on the beats, yes!
    Any way you want to fight, I'll fight ya and I'll beat ya, see?
  • On the now-defunct Brunching Shuttlecocks humor website, Lore Sjöberg released The Björk Song, which almost immediately falls into this trope due to an insistence on an A-A-A-A rhyme scheme... with the rhymed word in question being "Björk."
    Lore: If only she'd let me, her love I would hork
    Oh Björk, oh Björk, oh Björk
    I'd die for her with help from Doctor Kevork-,
    Oh Björk, oh Bj—
    Dave: "Kevork"?? What's next, the London Philharmonic Orch-?
    Lore: ...That's not 'til verse six.

    Western Animation 
  • Justified with Popeye's famous theme song, "I'm Popeye The Sailor Man". It rhymes "finish" with "spinach" by mispronouncing it, but this fits in with Popeye's bizarre dialect.
  • The Stargate: Infinity theme song does not contain a single true rhyme:
    Built by Ancients so long ago,
    The Stargate lay 'til we broke the code,
    Now it takes us through the universe
    On our mission to get back to Earth.

    We are hunted and on the run,
    And together we overcome,
    Fighting evil through the galaxy:
    Stagate Infinity!
  • The Simpsons seems to have a certain fondness for these:
    • "I can do the hully gully...I can imitate Vin Scully!" (Gabbo, "Krusty Gets Kancelled")
    • "I hate every ape I see...from chimpan-a to chimpan-zee..." (Troy McClure, "A Fish Called Selma")
    • "Baby on board... something something... Burt Ward! Wow, this thing writes itself!" (Homer, "Homer's Barbershop Quartet")
    • "For all the latest medical poop / Call Surgeon General C. Everett Koop / Boop-boop-a-doop." (The Be Sharps, the same episode)
    • "Well, Scooby Doo can DOO DOO, but Jimmy Carter is smarter!" (Homer, "A Star Is Burns")
    • and...
    Who needs the Quick-E-Mart?
    Their floors are stick-E-mart!
    They made dad sick-E-mart
    Let's hurl a brick-E-mart
    The Quick-E-Mart is real... D'OH!
    You're a dame and I'm a fella
    Stanley, stop or I'll tell Stella...
    • And:
    STELLA!! STELLA!! Can't you hear me yella, you're putting me through hella, Stella, STELLA!!
  • This is carried over to Futurama. In the episode "Fry and the Slurm Factory", the Grunka-Lunkas use terribly forced rhymes in their songs.
    Grunka lunka dunkity-gredient
    You should not ask about the secret ingredient!
    Bender: Okay, okay, we get the point!
    • Later:
      Leela: I'm just curious about the armed guards.
      Grunka-Lunkas: Grunka-lunka-dunkity-darmed guards...
  • The Swan Princess gave us this deathless couplet from its Villain Song, "No More Mr. Nice Guy": "Up 'til now I've pulled my punches/I intend to eat their lunches..."
    • As well as "As soon as my witchcraft has zinged 'em/I'll gain control of the kingdom."
    • "No Fear": "This plan if applied'll/be simply sucidal"
    • "Princesses on Parade": "Boy oh boy, these Royal Highnesses/All have pluses, they've no minuses"
    • Basically if it's a song in The Swan Princess that isn't "Far Longer than Forever", it'll have bad rhymes in it. The "Practice, Practice, Practice" song rhymes "practice" with "attacked us" and "sacked us."
  • Transformers' Wheelie speaks in rhymes that are not groovy, and has been doing so since Transformers: The Movie. It is never explained why he talks in rhyme, but it makes watching scenes where he appears a painful time.
  • Dave the Barbarian introduces us to the collective works of Ped X. Ing, whose rhymes are so painful, they cause physical pain and illness.
    "My ears are so waxy
    Waxy, waxy
    I think I'm going to hail a taxi.
    "
  • Titanic: The Legend Goes On had one with Mexican mice. Just about every rhyme is just a random word with "-sto" tacked on the end to rhyme with "gusto."
  • The opening song to the He-Man and She-Ra film The Secret of the Sword, as well as the music video.
    • A stranger walked into my world/And when he talked, I really heard
      • Especially good as it first makes you think the word is going to be "hurled."
  • The theme song to Count Duckula: In the heart of Transylvania/In the vampire hall of fame, yeah. Just... eh?
    • Plus "He won't bite Beast or Man / 'Cause he's a ve-ge-ta-ri-AN ..."
  • From The Marvel Super Heroes:
    • Super powered from the forehead to the toes! / Watch 'em change their very shape before your nose!
    • Wheeeen Captain America throws his mighty shiiiieeeld / all those who chose to oppose his shield must YIIIEEELD / When he's led to a fight and a duel is due / Then the red and the white and the blue'll come through…
    • Doc Bruce Banner, belted by gamma rays / Turned into the Hulk. Ain't he unglamo-rays?
  • This line from True Love's Kiss in Enchanted. I mean, it could be intentional, but Jesus:
    That's the reason we need lips so much,
    For lips are the only things that touch...
  • Not a song, but the Wilderness Explorer motto from Up:
    Russell: An explorer is a friend to all / Be it bird or fish or tiny mole!
    Carl: That doesn't even rhyme!
    Russell: Yes it does!
    • The song "Spirit of Adventure" from all the way at the end of the credits has gloriously cheesy rhymes—but then, what else do you expect from a song that rhymes the word adventure three separate times?
  • The Fairly OddParents!:
    We're PIXIES! We're PIXIES! Strong like BILL BIXBY!
    • "Adults Ruin Everything" from the episode "School's Out! The Musical" takes a leaf from Pinky and the Brain's book by using "unfurled" as a rhyme for "world", multiple times throughout the song.
    • In "So Totally Spaced Out", when the Gigglepies' Mind Manipulation on Cosmo and Wanda begins to falter, their ability to rhyme is affected and one of them attempts to rhyme "ridiculous" with "trick-ulous", causing Wanda to come to her senses.
    • In Baby Face, Peppy Happy Betty finishes a string of forced rhymes with a very painful "distracted...-wackted!" She lampshades this with "I'm running out of rhymey-whymies."
  • Pretty much every piece of Mystic Spiral's lyrics in Daria is like this. Plus, at least one song from the musical episode.
    Helen. Oh, Helen. You're so swell-en...
  • Total Drama World Tour uses this a lot, but it's a bit justified since they make up the songs on the spot, such as Lindsay rhyming 'brain' with 'game' or D.J. and Harold's 'pieces' and 'feet-ses.'
  • The title theme of Pinky and the Brain rhymes "world" with "unfurled". Not great, but not so bad just yet, especially since the easier-to-rhyme "Earth" is used elsewhere in the song. The really painful part of this is just how much the writers apparently love that rhyme, and constantly use it in other songs on the show (it's always "unfurled"; never any other word). Okay, so "world" isn't the most rhymable word, and yes, it's the final word of Brain's Catch-Phrase, but does it need to be rhymed every time the heroes sing?
  • Two in the song "Macadamia Nut" from Animaniacs.
    Dot: I act like a nut so they call me Macadamia
    I dance like a klutz on a show called Anamania.
    • and
    Dot: Now please don't mention my brother, the one they call Wakkarino,
    He's always burping, every hour, so I threw him out of the tower.
    Wakko: Waaaaooooooh..!
    • A song in "King Yakko":
    Yakko: In dear old Anvilania, everyone's our friend!
    Dot: We want to meet you all!
    Wakko: And shake you by the hend! [the other two glare at him] Hend! Hend! It rhymes!
  • Bravestarr has a bad one when describing the title character's arrival and powers
    "Then one day, a lawman appeared!
    With powers of hawk, wolf, puma, and bear!"
  • Toxic Crusaders, the animated adaption of The Toxic Avenger, has this gem of a description.
    "I had no friends, no girls to hug me!
    So I got radioactive ugly!"
  • In the Dexter's Laboratory Christmas Episode "Dexter Vs. Santa's Claws," Dexter sings a rap number on what really happens on Christmas Eve, with rather forced attempts at rhyming...
    Dad dresses up in a Santa getup,
    And then he puts the car up on the rooftop!
    He makes the car look like a sleigh, here,
    And Mom dresses up just like a reindeer!
    She greases up Dad so he'll slide down the chimey,
    And pull all our presents around the tree.
    Then Mom pulls him up, and by and by,
    They drive down the roof and into the sky!
    You go to the window cause you hear a little sound,
    And see Santa fly by before they ALL hit the ground!
  • The House of Mouse version of the song "Minnie Mouse in the House" from the "Mickey Unrapped" album (It's sung by the Muses from Hercules in the episode "Where's Minnie?".) Here are two excerpts from the original version of the song:
    ...Now that Minnie's here, it's a mouse-house party
    Go tell it to Michael and Mona and Marty
    Gonna twirl, gonna swirl, gonna ride the groove
    And when you see her, you've got to MOVE!!!

    ...Now you know no one will ever dis her
    If she went away we would really miss her!
    The dance floor is her heart and soul territory
    That's her story
    The story of Minnie Mouse (Minnie Mouse)
    In the house! (In the house!)

    • Now here's the House of Mouse version for comparison:
    ...Now that Minnie's here, it's a mouse-house party
    If she went away we would really miss her!
    The dance floor is her heart and soul territory
    That's her story
    The story of Minnie Mouse (Minnie Mouse)
    In the house! (In the house!)

    • The song would've avoided this problem if there was a music video set in the titular House of Mouse's Prop Room (especially the fact that the melody of the third verse mentioned above sound an awful lot like "The Crystal Chamber".)
    • Another House of Mouse example would be the show's version of the song "You Can Fly" from Peter Pan, where one of the song's lyrics apparently pronounced the word "aerodynamic" in a way so it rhymes with "beak."
  • Quest for Camelot includes the Villain Song with this ear-wrenching line:
    "Nights of evil, filled with fear"
    Your worst dream, that's my idea of fun!"
  • Intentionally invoked in the My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic episode "The Show Stoppers." Scootaloo attempts to write a song for the upcoming talent show, but is only able to come up with lyrics like:
    "With our cutie marks, we'll rock Equestria
    We use our stomachs to digestia."
    • Also in "Over a Barrel". Pinkie Pie's song hasn't one rhyme in it that isn't at least a little silly.
    "We may be divided
    But of you all I beg
    To remember we're all hooved
    At the end of each leg."
    • Pinkie's cupcake song in "Call of the Cutie" really takes the cake.
    "All you have to do is take a cup of flour
    Add it to the mix
    Now just take a little something sweet, not sour
    A bit of salt, just a pinch
    Baking these treats is such a cinch
    Add a teaspoon of vanilla
    Add a little more, and you count to four
    And you never get your fill of..."
    • The song "At the Gala" rhymes the words "time" and "divine" near the end, and earlier tries to rhyme "thousands" and "diamonds".
    • "The Ballad of the Crystal Empire" from the first episode of season three has see/history. The pronunciation is about as forced as it has to be for that to even remotely work.
      • Admittedly the fact that it was sung rather than spoken eased the forcedness a little.
  • The "Come Home Perry" song from the Phineas and Ferb episode "Oh, There You Are, Perry" has deliberately cringe-worthy rhymes when Candace has trouble coming up with rhymes for "Perry":
    Oh Perry! I think it's kind of scary
    I can't find you anywhere-y
    It fills me with despair-y
    Oh, Perry! I'm allergic to dairy,
    I'm gonna move to the prairie,
    And change my name to Larry!
    ...
    Phineas: Larry?!
    Candace: I ran out of rhymes, alright?
    • Lampshaded in the "Frenemies" song from "Lotsa Latkes", which rhymes "spats" with "ats".
      Baljeet: You are pluralising "at"?
      Buford: Work with me, brain-boy!
  • The theme song to The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes!:
    Always, we will fight as one!
    Until the battle's won
    With evil on the run,
    We never come undone.
    Assembled, we are strong!
    Forever fight as one!
This became more painful after Disney XD cut out all of the theme song except the last two lines, and the part where the singers exclaim, "Avengers, Assemble!!", in order to make room for recaps and expository voiceovers.
  • An episode of Fillmore! has a character called Checkmatey who tries to rap every other sentence and creates some truly terrible rhymes in the process. Fillmore eventually gets tired of Checkmatey's grating personality and bad rapping, and as he calls out Checkmatey:
    Fillmore: You just rhymed "bomb" with "wisdom"!
  • This poem written by Sokka of Avatar: The Last Airbender: "My name is Sokka/ It's pronounced with an "-okka"/ Young ladies, I rock ya!" He gets thrown out of the poetry club—not because of the bad rhyming, but because it's meant to be a haiku.
    • For double irony, his attempt to make one is what threw off his haiku. If he had stopped with "rock" or left out "young", the syllable count would have been fine.
  • The Spectacular Spider-Man: Spidey is reflecting on his current troubles, and hits the audience with the almost-rhyme:
    'Twas the night before Halloween, and all through Manhattan
    Not a criminal was stirring, not even Green Gob...lan.
  • The VeggieTales video King George and the Ducky has King George sing a rant that rhymes "longer," "stronger," and "wronger." King George's page tries to remind him to say "more wrong," instead. The king insists, "It had to rhyme! Don't question a king's grammar!"
  • In the Shaun the Sheep theme song, "bleat", "treat", "beat" and "meet" all rhyme with "sheep". It's as if his name is Shaun the Sheet.
  • In Ed, Edd n Eddy when Eddy recites a slogan for their home repair business.
    Eddy: No joke when it's broke - don't be blue, Let Ed's Quick Repair Service fix it and you won't sue!
    • At the end of "Home Cooked Eds," Ed starts randomly talking in rhyme. As he's the group's Dumb Muscle, well...
      Ed: Don't even think about it! Wink about it!
      Ed: One plus one equals one on a bun!
  • Tickety Toc has one in the theme song in order to maintain its rhythm:
    Tickety Toc
    There's things to do and friends to see
    We're watching the clock
    As time goes by so quick-er-ly
  • Parodied in The Penguins of Madagascar, when an evil device forces everyone to sing. As The Unintelligible, Rico's "lyrics" are all unintelligible grunts that end in a sound that rhymes.
  • From the Musical Episode of The Emperor's New School:
    Kuzco: So please now, Malina
    Won't you be my queen-a?
    Malina: What?
  • In Steven Universe, when Steven sings the extended version of their theme song:
    'Cause we're Good, and Evil never beats us!
    We'll win the fight and then go out for pizzas!
  • Jem:
    • "Time Is Running Out":
    We'll never stop, there's too much at stake. Come on baby let's go for it.
  • "Birthday World", the fourth video in the series The Wacky Adventures Of Ronald Mc Donald, has Hamburglar rhyme "I forgot" with "I forgot a lot" during the video's first song.
  • Spoken word: Danger Mouse and Penfold follow a scroll's directions to a mystic inkwell in "Where There's A Well, There's A Way." The directions are in rhyme, and one such painful rhyme is duly lampshaded:
    DM: Cast ye into the well a copper coin,
    And whatever ye may wish is thoin.
    Penfold: "Thoin"??!
    DM: "Thoin," Penfold. That's what it says.
    Penfold: What a terrible rhyme! "Thoin"! (laughs)
  • Bob's Burgers has "Bad Things are Bad", which awkwardly pauses mid-word to force a rhyme.
    I never thought this is how I would go.
    Here under the pier tied to Mr. Fischoe...
    ...der, but looks like Linda will be a widow.
    Oh bad things are bad.
  • In The Grinch Grinches The Cat In The Hat, the Grinch does this twice. First...
    The sounds that you make are the sounds of my choice.
    I can make you sound better or make you sound woise!
    • Second...
    Are you feeling pretty gut,
    Mr. Cat in the Hut?
  • Adventure Time:
    Maybe I should lay my head down slow
    And sleep until it's all ov-o
  • In Arthur, the only 'rhyme' in "Binky's Poem" is 'poem' with itself.
  • The theme to Tennessee Tuxedo And His Tales commits the perfecta of AcCENT Upon the Wrong SylLABle and (twice in the same line) painful rhyme:
    Anything so he can measure up to men, that's Tennessee Tuxedo,
    A small penguin who tries but can't succeed-o
  • Ready Jet Go!;
    My name is Mindy, it rhymes with Sydney
    I'm Mindy Melendez, hey let's be friend-ez!

    Real Life 
  • E. Y. Harburg's lyrics yield nothing to Ogden Nash in mangling words for the sake of rhyme.
    • His rhymes weren't as painful because they were meant to be funny. Many other examples on this page weren't, thus increasing their painfulness.
  • The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce sarcastically defines "kiss" as "a word invented by the poets as a rhyme for 'bliss.'"
  • Rev. Joseph Lowery's invocation at Barack Obama's inauguration included a a few rhyming lines that were a reference to the 1940s song "Black, Brown and White":
    We ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get back
    When brown can stick around
    When yellow will be mellow
    When the red man can get ahead, man
    And when white will embrace what is right.
  • It may be worth mentioning comedian Alexei Sayle's solution to the whole problem of poetry being difficult to write because people expect it to rhyme: Simply end every line with the same word.
    There was a young lady from Shrewsbury bollocks
    Who went to the shop for some fish bollocks
    As she walked in the door shit
    The shopkeeper said shit
    What kind of fish would you like bollocks?
  • As noted above, lots of beginning and amateur poets often stick slavishly to "ABAB" rhyme schemes, which often results in this.
  • The Dutch tradition of Sinterklaas deserves a special mention here: Sinterklaas gifts are traditionally accompanied by poems of.. let's say... varying quality.

    Miscellaneous 
  • Any song ever that attempts to rhyme "again" with, for example, "rain", when "again" is pronounced "ag'in" or "ag'en".
    • From Oasis' "Underneath the Sky": "Underneath the sky AGYAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYN". (Only at the end; otherwise it's "again" to rhyme with "friend". There's also one instance of "agayn" to rhyme with "name"... if there's a band renowned for this trope it's Oasis, whose "Sister/missed her/blister" from "She's Electric" is reckoned to the be one of the worst rhyme combos ever, closely followed by "cousin/dozen/oven".)
    • Stan Rogers rhymes "Pain" with "Again" in The Woodbridge Dog Disaster, but he does so without using the "Agayn" pronounciation.
    • Keane attempts to rhyme "again" with "same" in...brace yourself... "Again and Again." The wonky rhyme is done with "Agayn", but the same word shortly before it (in the obvious phrase) is pronounced "again", making it especially jarring. And it's still only a half-rhyme.
    • The Monkees uses "Train" in Last Train To Clarksville, though Train isn't even the end of the line. "Again" is said as a posh "agayn."
  • Anything if it rhymes with "...you see." at the end of the previous or following line.
    • Justified in "Revelations" by Iron Maiden, on the equal grounds of coming from a song with awesome lyrics (any metal band to quote Chesterton should be awarded a medal), and for coming from a verse that already began as an unlikely prediction ("Bind all of us together, ablaze with hope and free/No storm or heavy weather will rock the boat, you'll see.").
  • Monty Python's deliberately boring song "Traffic Lights" cuts off before finishing its last and worst rhyme:
    I like traffic lights,
    I like traffic lights,
    I like traffic lights,
    Although my name's not Bamber.
    I like traffic lights,
    I like traffic lights,
    I like traffic lights,
    But only when they're... (Oh, God.)


http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PainfulRhyme