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Web Video: Steam Train
Goddammit, Ross.
"We bought too many games!"
"Now we gotta play them all."
"So all aboard the STEAM TRAIN!"
"Choo-choo!"

Steam Train is a Web Video comedy show about video games. The show is a Spin-Off of Game Grumps, and is hosted on the same channel. The format is similar to its parent show, as Danny of Ninja Sex Party and Ross of Rubber Ninja Animation play games together and joke around. Unlike Game Grumps, however, the show focuses on computer games rather than console games. Arin from the parent series has been known to join in on certain games as a guest or as a replacement for Danny (appearing as a bandit at the end of the intro). Special episodes called Steam Rolled that focus on four-player games also feature Barry, the channel's editor, and Suzy, another YouTuber and Arin's wife (appearing as an engineer and outlaw, respectively).

Find it here.

Steam Train provides examples of the following tropes:

  • Aborted Arc: Hotline Miami only received three episodes released noticeably far apart, then was never referenced again. This was due to a combination of negative reception and the fact that the game wasn't working properly while being recorded.
  • Actually Pretty Funny: In one of the Space Quest IV episodes, Ross — against Danny's wishes — reads aloud from an erotic fanfic by Ninja Brian (the other member of Ninja Sex Party). The story involves Danny receiving a blowjob from Ninja Brian, and despite himself, Danny chuckles a few times.
  • Alas, Poor Scrappy: invoked Danny and Ross spend a good chunk of time in their King's Quest V playthrough being annoyed at Cedric, the cowardly taking owl. But when Cedric is badly, though not fatally wounded by harpies late in the game, they become surprisingly upset.
  • Anti-Humor: VVVVVV Part 8, "Doing Things The Hard Way".
    Arin: Why was the man fired from his job at the orange juice factory?
    Ross: Because he fucked the boss's wife?
    Arin: ...Yes.
  • Arch-Enemy: Augustus Caesar, leader of the Romans, in their playthrough of Civilization V: Brave New World. As the first civilization that they encounter outside their own, they inevitably form a rivalry with the Romans.
    Danny: (singing) Augustus Caesar / He's such a douchebag / I hate his stupid / Fucking face
  • Art Evolution: The original introo had very basic lip sync, drawn in thick lines that made them look weird on the Grump faces. Since the lip syncing was very dubious as well, Ross re-animated the lip sync on the intro, making it look a lot sleeker and impressive.
  • Author Appeal: Ross seems to make more Doctor Who references than Jon did in Game Grumps. Especially during Space Quest IV, which involves copious amounts of Time Travel.
  • Berserk Button:
    • Danny dislikes hearing the term "gay" used as an insult.
    • During the Fortune Street episodes, Ross demonstrates his inability to press the 2 button to advance text, much to the chagrin of the other players, Barry in particular.
  • Big "NO!":
    • When Danny and Ross die at 7:35 in Castle Crashers Part 17, they let out a big "No!", interrupting the song they were singing at the time.
    • Danny lets out a loud "No!" at the end of Castle Crashers Part 20 when Ross beats Danny in a duel fought for a princess they just rescued; it is, however, overpowered by Ross's "YYYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAH!"
  • Big "YES!":
    • In Castle Crashers Part 20, when Ross beats Danny in a duel fought for the favour of a princess they just rescued, Ross lets out a loud "Yeah!", overpowering Danny's shout of "No!"
    • In VVVVVV upon beating Doing Things the Hard Way, a loud "Yes!" is uttered by the pair.
  • Big "WHAT?!": Used to interrupt Barry when he decided to talk at the end of the Counter-Strike: Global Offensive playthrough.
  • Black Humor: To excuse Danny's absence in episodes where Arin replaces him, he is shot dead after singing his second line in the intro by Arin's bandit figure, leading to the following amendment to the intro:
    Arin: (threatening) Say it.
    Ross: (in tears) Choo-choo!
  • Boring, but Practical: The Grey Knight's arrow power in Castle Crashers. Lampshaded by Ross. Subverted when it turns out the Grey Knight also has the power of summoning bombs.
    Ross: My powers are mediocrity, CPR and being a car mechanic.
  • Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs: In VVVVVV Part 7, Ross tells Arin that a spider lives inside his TV, but he and Holly are afraid to remove it.
    Arin: Because of the spider or because of electricity?
    Ross: 'Cause of both. Electric spiders.
  • Brick Joke: When playing Leisure Suit Larry, at one point Danny and Ross make a phonecall to a sex line, which allows for madlibs. Ross' responses alternate between Batman References and the completely innocent. A few episodes later, Batman calls the same line and asks Larry if he and Robin want to go to his house to hang out, watch Star Wars and play with his weaponry.
  • Butt Monkey: Whenever there is more than two players (or even making references to, in the main Game Grumps series) Ross is thrust into this role, evident from the Steam Rolled episodes, which includes it in the main theme which comes from the Civilization run which was painful for fans of the series.
    God damnit Ross!
  • The Cameo: Ninja Brian from Ninja Sex Party makes an... um, appearance to give Danny and Ross some advice during Castle Crashers. He also appeared with Danny in the lesser-seen promo for Steam Train on Ross' channel.
  • Captain Obvious: In episode 11 of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Ross is fighting a dragon:
    Ross: There is a way you don't have to fight bad things.
    [Gets hit by flame breath]
    Ross: I guess this is the way where you have to fight bad things!!
  • Cut Short: The Civilization V: Brave New World series ends unceremoniously when Ross kicks the computer in rage. As a result, they never take down Antium or Caesar, nor do they meet the last player.
  • Cutting the Knot: During Trine 2, the cast is very good at abusing jump mechanics to get around puzzles. Their most common strategy is to pseudo-double jump using a quickly-summoned box. This led to the creators of the game sending Ross merchandise with a certificate commemorating his box making skills.
  • Damned by Faint Praise: "Better than deer shit!" is jokingly used a few times in comparisons after Danny and Ross witness a deer use its explosive diarrhoea to fly around in Castle Crashers.
  • The Dev Team Thinks of Everything: Ross tests this when they play South Park: Stick of Truth. Having played the game before, Ross knows that regardless of what name you input to the game, Cartman defaults it to Douchebag. He wanted to see if there was anything special for trying to input Douchebag as your name. There isn't.
  • The Dog Was the Mastermind: The ending to Brave New World claims that Mochi and Mimi, Arin's cats, were the Unmet Player.
  • Down to the Last Play: The final game in the Series Finale of Mario Party 4 in Steam Rolled is literally the decisive game for either Ross or Barry to win.
  • Epic Fail:
    • Oregon Trail ends with everyone dying of starvation, because they kept resting for weeks with no food.
    • Banished ends with everyone dying in the first winter, because nothing was constructed or produced.
  • Expository Theme Tune: As mentioned in Castle Crashers, the series came about from Ross literally having hundreds of unplayed games on his Steam account.
  • Failed a Spot Check:
    • In the tutorial of Hotline Miami, the player must go into a brightly-lit blue room, get a gun, then go downwards into a yellow room and shoot a man. They get the gun, fail to figure out where the yellow room is, then drop the gun and have to use Good Old Fisticuffs to kill the man. This is lampshaded not long after, as they remark they were so focused on doing a silly voice for the tutorial man they weren't paying attention to the actual text.
    • The Oregon Trail run quickly descends into failure in the second episode due to lack of food, which they do not notice. Danny opts to blame Ross for this instead.
  • Fan Community Nickname: Arin comes up with Passengers as a nickname for the fans.
  • Fighter, Mage, Thief: Danny, Ross and Arin respectively in Trine 2.
  • Fun with Acronyms:
    • In the Steam Rolled episode where they play Counter-Strike, Danny buys an SMG (submachine gun). They then spend the next few minutes coming up what it could stand for.
    Danny: Sick Marmalade, Grandpa! [Barry kills Danny] (laughing) I was laughing, and then I died.
    • The FTL: Faster Than Light episode has the cast puzzling over the acronym in the game's title; suggestions include "Fuck These Leprechauns" and "Forty Thousand Leeches".
  • Gainax Ending:
    • At the end of Brave New World, Ross kicks the computer in a fit of rage, crashing it and ending the game. The rest of the episode is a series of stills with text over them claiming that Ross gets killed by Danny, who proceeds to go to sleep for 44 years, Arin going to Disneyland, and Mochi and Mimi continuing to rule as the Unmet Player.
    • In-universe, the ending of The Stanley Parable Demonstration. The discomforting nature of everything that happens after the Isolation Chamber has Danny jumping at a mere elevator door.
  • George Jetson Job Security: Continuing the Running Gag from Game Grumps, Barry is threatened with being fired in the Quake III Arena episode:
    Barry: (In game chat) I got fired like, eight times today.
  • The Ghost: The final Unmet Player in Brave New World is never seen. The ending claims that Mochi and Mimi, Arin's cats, were collectively the Unmet Player.
  • Good Bad Bugs: invokedIn order to facilitate their Speed Run of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Ross abuses the hell out of a variety of bugs to skip most of the game.
  • Greedy Jew: Discussed in the first Castle Crashers episode, as Danny thinks it's a stupid stereotype because, "Who doesn't love money?"
  • Guest Fighter: In contrast with the strict focus on the two stars of Game Grumps (Grant Kirkhope being the exception), Steam Train often has Arin, Barry, and occasionally Suzy appear to play.
  • Guest Host: Arin has sat in on several games during Steam Train, including Brave New World, FTL: Faster Than Light and Trine 2. He has also taken over Danny's position as host when needed, such as in the Rogue Legacy playthrough.
  • Guide Dang It: Arin and Ross fail to figure out how to get the trinket in Prize for the Reckless — which is completely understandable for most players of the game.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: In part of 1 the Steam Rolled episode with Mario Kart: Double Dash!!, Barry and Ross face Arin and Suzy on Peach Beach. Ross plants a Banana right by the finish line to catch his opponents, he and Barry gain the lead for a while, but on the homestretch, get struck by the dreaded Spiny Shell on the final lap and Arin and Suzy snatch it from them. However, Barry uses a Mushroom to close the gap and beat them at the last minute... and plows into Ross's banana right before the finish line. Arin and Suzy win handily.
  • Hope Spot: During part 7 of Noitu Love 2. After three tries, Arin and Ross use teamwork (with Arin on the mouse and Ross on the keyboard) to defeat Tango's second form... not realizing that she has a third form, which almost immediately kills them.
  • I Am Not Shazam: invokedIn-universe; Larry Laffer is referred to as "Leisure Suit Larry".
  • Insistent Terminology: It's not a penis, it's a creature created in the Spore creature creator.
  • Irishman And A Jew: Ross is half Irish, half Australian and Danny is Jewish. Most humour derived from this is deliberate, as neither of the pair demonstrate any "stereotypical" behaviour.
  • Jewish and Nerdy: Danny points out in the Singles Train special that it's the first ever episode on the Grumps channel that exclusively features the two Jewish members of the team. They then start throwing out some Jewish greetings and compliments towards each other.
  • Jewish Mother: The group parodies this in the third Civilization V episode.
    Danny: Why aren't you building Notre Dame? Your cousin built Notre Dame. He was top of his class! You know, Martin, from across the street, he already built Stonehenge, and he did it in Canada!
    Arin: They don't even have things in Canada!
    Danny: It's just a bunch of wood and deers!
  • Lampshade Hanging: The first "Steam Rolled" has Ross and Danny challenging Game Grumps to a duel... only for Danny to appear on the other side.
    Ross: ...what the fuck, who's going to be on MY team?! [Barry is shown looking confused]
  • The Load: Played for Laughs in Trine 2, where Ross as the Squishy Wizard doesn't have any apparent offensive capabilities, and Danny and Arin have to fight off Goblins.
    Ross: Guys, I made a slightly ''bigger'' box.
    Arin: That's nice, now go fuck yourself.
  • Male Gaze: When Barry plays as a roller blading girl (wearing something that seems like a Latex Space Suit) in Quake III: Arena the other three players (Ross, Danny and Arin) all have a temporary cease fire to check out his character's ass.
  • My God, What Have I Done?: A common reaction to Ross's increasingly squicky evolutions in Spore. It eventually gets to the point that he himself is actually sickened by what he's created.
  • Never Heard That One Before: In Castle Crashers Part 9, after Ross had been discussing how he got the "RubberNinja" and "RubberRoss" nicknames:
    Danny: I thought it was because you're gonna come up with your own brand of condoms.
    Ross: (sarcastic laughter) I have not heard that one before, Danny!
  • Non-Indicative First Episode: The first episode of the show, Hotline Miami Part 1, is generally considered to be subpar, as Dan and Ross fail to get anywhere and spend most of the episode reading the game text in funny voices. Later episodes are considerably better paced, and are much more reminiscent of typical Game Grumps episodes.
  • Non-Indicative Name:
    • Somewhere during the middle of the Space Quest IV videos, Danny mentions the game was actually bought through GOG.com.
    • Ross' save game names in the Space Quest IV series are written in a pidgin English that are only tangentially related to the situation they're supposed to describe, with some of them being seemingly completely random, such as "oppertunee jummp" being used to represent a room filled with lasers.
    • Steam Rolled, despite being billed as Steam Train episodes, is a catch-all term for "sessions with four players". Their fourth session of Steam Rolled is about Mario Party 4 and features Suzy instead of Danny.
    • In Spore, Ross names his creature "legs fo days", then decides not to give it legs. A little later he changes the name to "arms fo mins" and decides not to give it arms.
  • Odd Name Out:
    • In the first episode of VVVVVV, Arin nicknames the crew of the ship Pinkie, Bluey, Greenie, Reddie, and Stan.
    • In Worms: Armageddon, the gang name their Worms based on themes. Ross' are all Australian things; Arin's are jokey variations on "grump", such as Grep, Drump, and Gorp; Barry's are variations on the word "poop"; and Danny's are Nabble, Nobble, Nubble, Noble, Nerble, and Fucktard 5000.
  • Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping: Ross is from Australia, and sometimes slips into an Australian accent (especially when he's tired). However, he denies that he has an Australian accent, and claims that he didn't have one even when he lived in Australia.
  • Phrase Catcher: "Goddamnit, Ross" is said by all sorts of folks, up to and including the narrator of the The Stanley Parable demo.
  • Pre-Mortem One-Liner: Ross is terrible at them, as shown in their Hotline Miami playthrough.
    Ross: [Kicks door down] Are you taking a poo? [Shoots guy standing next to toilet]
  • Pretend Prejudice: Ross constantly pokes fun at Danny's Jewish heritage, and Danny at Ross's mixed Australian/Irish heritage.
  • Punny Name: It's a Steam Train! Y'know, like the digital distribution service.
  • The Quiet One: Although Barry often puts in comments in text form in the videos (just as in Game Grumps), he is rarely heard on the show itself. In the Quake III: Arena episode of Steam Rolled videos, where he takes the spot of the fourth player, he uses in-game chat to communicate in terse, sparse sentences. At the end of the next Steam Rolled, Counter-Strike: Global Offensive, he utters a single sentence at the very end — the first time he's spoken on the channel. From every episode onwards, whenever he is part of the cast, he gets a full speaking role. Lampshaded in Worms Armageddon, the third Steam Rolled episode, where he makes it sound as if he hasn't spoken in years.
  • Read the Freaking Manual:
    • In the very first episode, the duo was too busy reading the dialogue in funny voices to pay any attention to the tutorial in Hotline Miami.
    • In the FTL episode, only Ross had any experience with the game, and even then he only skimmed the tutorial. The end result is, depending on the viewer, either a hilarious display of comical incompetence, or a hair-pullingly frustrating display of inexcusable incompetence.
    • The Civilization playthrough was equally painful to watch for true fans of the series. The third and fourth videos consisted of Ross sending a unit somewhere that turned out to be blocked by his own units, so they started going around. He kicked the computer for it and crashed the game.
    • In the fourth episode of VVVVVV, Ross repeatedly dies at a part that requires him to go right, unaware of the wrap-around screen mechanics (even though earlier parts of the level included them). Even when Arin was yelling at him to go right, it doesn't seem to get through until the end.
  • Required Spinoff Crossover: In the first few months after the the launch of Steam Train, Arin from Game Grumps sat in on several games, including Civilization V: Brave New World, FTL: Faster Than Light and Trine 2. Over time, this became more and more common, to the point that Steam Train and Game Grumps became difficult to call different shows.
  • Re Tool: To accommodate Danny's busy schedule around two months into the show's run, Steam Train and Steam Rolled were temporarily retooled to use pretty much whoever happened to be available at the time — specifically, the former had Arin from Game Grumps take over for him, and the latter used any permutation of four of Ross, Danny, Arin, Barry, and Suzy.
  • Running Gag:
    • In the Civilization V: Brave New World playthrough, Pottery and Calendar are sarcastically mentioned whenever the subject turns to warfare or diplomacy (usually the former). The trio (Dan, Ross and Arin) also make fun of Caesar whenever they can.
    • Ross' complete inability to sing has become the bane of Dan's joy. If Danny starts singing, it's a near certainty the song will turn into a scream because Ross tries to join in.
    • "is rly good", the name of the first Space Quest IV save game, is used as a template for the rest of the save game names; the phrase later becomes a recurring joke and is used fairly often throughout the show.
    • Danny often shouts out, "If X [where X is subject at hand] LIKE COMMENT AND SUBSCRIBE", continuing a Running Gag from the Game Grumps show.
    • Skittles are really popular. Also, like the original Game Grumps, Danny and Ross occasionally ask Skittles to sponsor them.
    • Ross gets to name the save files in Space Quest IV and Leisure Suit Larry. They're usually vaguely nonsensical.
    • In Fortune Street, the others repeatedly berate Ross for not pressing 2 and they also keep joking how Suzy will win.
  • Sarcasm Mode: From Space Quest IV:
    Danny: Okay, so I need the time code.
    Ross: Okay, so it's a squiggle, then squiggle squiggle, and then a squiggle, squiggle and a squiggle.
    Danny: You have been extremely helpful.
  • Shout-Out: Ross' final Space Quest save game is, instead of a Word Salad Title like before, "Save the disk, save the world".
  • Slash Fic: Ross, during part 14 of Space Quest IV, reads one by Ninja Brian about Brian giving Danny a blowjob.
  • Some of My Best Friends Are X: Some of Danny's best friends are gays. He means this fully seriously, finding the term "gay" as a derogatory comment of negativity being stupid.
  • Special Edition Title:
    • Episodes with Arin always end with him showing up as a bandit, declaring "Stick 'em up, this is a robbery!" Starting with the Offspring Fling playthrough, Danny's absence is excused with him being shot dead mid-word by Arin, who then sticks his gun to Ross's head and declares:
    Arin: Say it.
    Ross: (in tears) Choo-choo!
    • Part 9 of Space Quest IV has a live-action Danny and Ross on the Grump room couch where they warn the audience that the entire episode will be spend playing a mini-game where you make hamburgers.
    • Like its sister show, Steam Train was renamed Scream Train and used a Halloween-themed opening during the last week of October 2013, with Danny (Deadly) and Ross (Rots) as zombies.
    Deadly: We bought too many brains!
    Rots: (with dislocated jaw) Now we gotta eat them all.
    SO ALL ABOARD THE SCREAM TRAIN!
    • For December 2013, it became Steam Sleigh and used a Christmas-themed opening starting from the last three days before Christmas with Arin (Arindeer) as a reindeer and Ross (Frossty) as a snowman.
    Both: Playing lots of games. With Christmas-type names. Instead of a train... We're on a Steam Sleigh! Choo choo choo!
    • On Valentine's Day 2014, this intro was used under the name "Single Train". (Ross is replaced with Barry for this episode, since Ross is not single.)
    Danny: We don't have any dames!
    Barry: Now it's just another Friday.
    Danny: SO ALL ABOARD THE... ah, fuck it. We're single on Valentine's Day.
    • On St. Patrick's Day 2014, Barry and Ross played a few games, with a special intro under the name Stout Train to match, where the two of them are wasted, and a distorted version of the normal theme plays:
    Barry: We bought too many beers...
    Ross: Now we gotta drink them all.
    SO ALL ABOARD THE STOUT TRAIN!
    Barry: (gets closer to Ross) Love you man...
  • Spin-Off: The show is a spinoff of Game Grumps that follows the same format but focuses exclusively on PC games, with Danny as a member of both shows, and Arin covering when needed. Occasionally, Arin will also join as a third member, and certain episodes called Steam Rolled focus on four-player games, with Barry and Suzy participating in whichever fashion works best.
  • Suddenly Voiced: At the end of the Counter-Strike: Global Offensive playthrough, Barry speaks on-camera for the first time in the history of the channel. In subsequent on-screen appearances he has been a fully-voiced member of the cast.
  • Tempting Fate:
    • In Space Quest IV Part 4, Dan reassures Ross that the deadly green slime will not "change direction and come at me". The slime then proceeds to do exactly that.
    • During the Mario Party 4 finale, Ross takes a chance at the lottery, and Arin tells him he'd better not get the gold ball. Guess what happens?
    • Arin and Ross think that Ride To Hell Retribution isn't as terrible as reviews have claimed. Each time they say anything resembling "This game can't be that bad", the game gets progressively worse and worse.
  • That Came Out Wrong: When Danny is cheering on Arin in Counter-Strike and playing as Terrorists:
    Danny: Do it for Terrorists everywhere! ...I shouldn't have said that.
  • This Looks Like a Job for Aquaman: Danny and Arin treat Ross' Squishy Wizard like this when he has to perform with more esoteric abilities (Ross not having mastered the mage's skills fully yet) in Trine 2.
  • Took a Level in Badass: Ross is playing noticeably above his usual standard in the Skyrim episodes, pulling off some cool speedrunning tricks.
  • Ugly Cute: invoked In The Binding of Isaac Part 1, Ross and Danny react with equal parts delight and revulsion on seeing the boss "Pin":
    Ross: Oh my God it's super cute!
    Danny: It's disgusting! [laughs] I mean... It's cutegross.
  • Wham Line: In-universe, the last line of the Counter-Strike: Global Offensive... because it came from Barry.
    Barry: (slurred) Thanks for having me— (drowned out by Arin, Danny, and Ross screaming in shock)
  • "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue: Parodied at the end of the Brave New World series: Ross was murdered by Danny (because he destroyed the recording by kicking the computer), who then slept for 44 years, Arin went to Disneyland and then he fell asleep, and Mochi and Mimi continue to rule as the Unmet Player.
  • Wild Card: They suspect Ife of being this in their playthrough of Civilization V: Brave New World.
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