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While the first part of Hotline Miami was lambasted for the silly voice they give the tutorial guys, it reaches an amusing climax where the two switch off between lines - one doing a very deep voice, the other a pleasant and normal-sounding one.
The last couple of minutes in Part 12 is downright hilarious with both Danny and Ross speaking in the most ridiculous voices.
Skittles: Better than deer shit!
In the finale, after the first two forms of the final boss, Ross convinces Danny that that was the final boss as the treasure chest falls. When out of the chest jumps a creepy-ass giant flying scorpionwizard, Danny's reaction is hilarious - punctuated by Ross laughing at him!
And after the grande finale there is one last duel for the hand of the fair final and mysterious princess. Danny has a moment of 'we're gonna fight now!?' before Ross takes the last of the Blue Knight's health and decapitates him. At last Ross has finally earned the hand of a princess only for this princess to be a clown woman! Still, Ross does actually get the last laugh since she has a nice rack.
Space Quest IV
Danny is ever tempting fate and allowing Ross to name the save files, who continues to give them inane things that give zero clues as to how far they are into the game.
Danny's belief that the slime monster only moves in one direction being immediately and painfully proven false.
Episode 9 begins with a live-action clip of Danny and Ross warning the audience that the episode consists solely of making burgers. At the end, we see Ross intentionally screwing up about a dozen takes of that same clip and it only gets funnier each time until you can hear Arin and Barry laughing in the background.
It gets to the point where Danny introduces himself as Barry because he was looking right at Barry.
Danny: Hi, I'm Barry- FUCK! *Ross loses it*
Episode 14 has Ross reading a Ninja Sex Party fan fiction written by Ninja Brian. Danny's reaction is hilarious.
The best part is that if you pay attention to the fanfic, you realize that Brian never actually gets around to giving Danny the blowjob, it just keeps leading up to it and then suddenly ends. This in no way makes Danny any less furious.
Through out the gameplay Ross will insist that licking things will solve a problem. Also from episode 14 is Danny lampshading the entire playthrough as: yep! We got out of the car and went down a hallway!'
Episode 18 involves Danny trying to get Ross to write something down which lead to this:
Danny: Write that down Ross! Ross: I don't have a pen. :( Danny: God dammit here is a pen. Ross: I don't have a paper. :( Danny: Oh Jesus... alright write the paper. Ross: I don't have the spirit. :c
Civilization V: Brave New World
The intro is a thing of brilliance. It plays out as normal until...
Arin (who is dressed as a bandit): STICK EM UP, THIS IS A ROBBERY!
The first hour-long episode is filled with funny moments, especially due to Ross's incompetence and the inclusion of Arin.
Squire: We need warriors! Quickly! Citizen I've got four pots full of water! Will that help?! Squire: I, uh... Citizen: Larry knows what time it is! Larry: (Distant) I can read calendars! Citizen: He has it roughly down to the month!
Arin: Did you just demand SALT? Ross: (laughing) Did I? Arin: Because I think that's the LEAST of Kyoto's problems at the moment! Everyone is like "We're going to be invaded! We're going to be invaded by the Roman Empire!" And somebody is like "I don't know that this fish tastes okay!" (laughing) "What do you guys think?
Danny: What's your biggest export, FAT? Fat people like yourself, fatty? Ross: Well, you're in luck because our biggest export is shirts.
Arin and Danny lambasting Ross for not setting up settlements.
The Caesar impressions. Sweet Jesus, the Caesar impressions, which quickly devolve into Skeletor impressions.
While fast forwarding through part 2, they sing/rap about how much Caesar sucks.
Danny: Julius Caesar / He's such a douchebag / I hate his fucking / Big Roman face Ross: You said Julius. It's Augustus. Danny: Oh. From the top! Danny: Julius Caesar / He's such a douchebag- Ross: You said Julius again. It's Augustus. Danny: Augustus Caesar / He's such a douchebag / I hate his stupid / Fucking face Arin: Yo, motherfucker, listen up, it's Augustus! / He's gonna motherfucking kill you in your mustus! / I don't know what mustus is, I just wanted to rhyme! / Now we're gonna do it forward in time! *Record scratch* Danny: Civilization V, bitches.
Danny: He was only the first Great Man born in your civilization in three thousand years. "Fuck it! We lost him in the trees!"
Part 3 has three fast-forward raps, with Ross mucking up each and every one. Danny's enraged responses are something to behold.
Danny: People in Jacarta don't wear shir-godDAMMIT, Ross, were you born without rhythm? Danny: People in Jacarta, were born without shirts! Ross (hesitant): Without shiiiirts- Danny: They don't wea-oh, ROSS, you're killing me. Trying to sing fast-forwarding songs, Ross keeps fuckin' 'em up! Ross: Fuckin' up! Danny: He wasn't born with rhythm, and it's p- Ross: Do-I-come-in-now? Danny: God, your head is just bobbing at the wrong pace...
Ross: Yay, Ragusa. It's my favorite place. I used to go there for my sister's wedding. Danny: It was delightful. It was gorgeous. Ross: I stayed at the Hyatt there. Danny: I once went to Ragusa, I stayed at a lovely Doubletree Inn. They had coffee and Ragu. Arin: And free continental breakfast. Danny: Free continental breakfast. I took my trireme, and I sailed. Ross: Into their haaarbor. Arin: For fifteen years I sailed. Danny: All because I heard they had free cable. Ross: HBO? Whoo, I was sold.
Ross: You know, you boys should really think about getting your hair cut. Arin: You're doing all this adventuring, you'll get the gangrene in your hair. Danny: Have you seen Augustus? He looks so trim. He looks so handsome in his robes.
Danny: Build Notre Dame. Build Notre Dame in Tokyo! It'll take 89 turns. Danny: Why don't you just build Notre Dame? What's the problem? Tokyo could use some culture. The irony of you murdering Rome while you build Notre Dame in Japan is not lost on me. Ross: Build Notre Dame. Danny: Build it! Ross: Why aren't you building Notre Dame in Tokyo! Danny: Why aren't you building Notre Dame? Your cousin built Notre Dame. Ross: He was top of his class. Danny: You know Martin, from across the street, already built Stonehenge, and he did it in Canada. Arin: They don't even have things in Canada! Danny: It's just a bunch of wood and deers!
Danny: Oh Barry, we're losing our shit over here.
Danny: I'm very proud of you. You may not get to build Notre Dame before you die at the hand of Augustus Caesar, but you know what? You tried! And that's all anyone can ask of you, Ross. You did your best. Arin: Mom, we're gonna beat him. Ross: We can do it, Mom. Danny: I believe in you, honey. Ross: I believe in myself. Danny (sotto voce): He'll never make it. He'll never make it, he'll be dead in five turns. Arin: You know I believe in you, but his hair is just so clean! Danny: Have you seen Augustus' hair? It's so smooth. Ross: He keeps the lines so tight! Arin: How does he do it in 1560 AD? They haven't even invented scissors! Danny: It's like he put a salad bowl made by one of your amazing potters over his head and just cut around it. It's perfect!
Danny: I'm very proud that you discovered Australia. Now go somewhere else.
Danny: Wait till the next turn. But you know what the good thing about that is? You're gonna be that much closer to building Notre Dame. Ross: You're only 82 turns away. It's practically tomorrow!
And at the beginning of part 4, they do it again.
Danny: You gotta hug the coast, like you hug your uncle.
The end of Part 4 has Ross, who is fed up with all the madness, kicking the computer and erasing the past 4 hours the trio spent playing the game. Barry then reveals that in retaliation, Danny murdered Ross and slept for 44 years, and then Arin went to Disneyland. Also, Mochi and Mimi were revealed to be the 4th player.
Perhaps even better is his addendum on the subreddit.
Their guesses as to what FTL means. Special mention goes to Arin's, which include "Fucking Thick Ladies" and "Forty-Thousand Leeches."
Early on Ross mispronounces 'rockets' as 'rocks'. Danny of course uses it to make further fun of Ross.
Danny: "FIRE THE ROCKS AT THEM!"
While Ross tries to prepare the ship for a conflict, Danny and Arin are focused on something else...
Danny: Computer! More tea! (Arin Laughs) Ross: Fix the oxygen! Fix the shields! Arin: (robot voice) We are almost out of tea, master. Danny: No! (The enemy ship hits their ship) Ross: Oh Jesus! They took out our security! Arin: (overlapping, Angry) More tea! Ross: Okay, so the security cameras... Danny: (interrupting) Explode a planet! Arin: Steal their tea! (Danny and Arin laugh)
Arin: "Uh, Captain? I think I'm dying!" (ship explodes)
All three captain's logs. Before each of the three players get their turn, an animated segment showing a locomotive in space is played, with the player whose turn it is narrating:
The first captain's log:
Ross: Captain's log, twenty-thirteen. Our crew's decided to... fly in space... Erm... It's... [Claxons sound] Arin: (distantly shouting) Oh my God, Ross, the hull's on fire! Ross: I'm, just, not now, I'm trying to captain's log... Arin: The hull is on fire! Ross: It's, I'm trying to captain log! Arin: Don't you care?! Ross: I'M TRYING TO CAPTAIN LOG!
The third captain's log:
Danny: Captain's log, stardate twenty thirteen. Captain Daniel Sexbang reporting. Ross's butt smells funny. [Claxons sound] God be with us all.
"I'm the one who tells other people to eat dicks!"
The other two getting frustrated at Ross to the point his character's name goes from "Ross", to "Rosslyn", and then finally: "Douchelo"note It was actually to be "Douchelord", but the last two letters got cut off on the display.
Arin, after commenting on the ship's name (The Kestrel), wonders aloud what would happen if an alien spacecraft would encounter a real kestrel. Complete with ridiculous bird sounds.
Both of the conductors and Arin take a turn at playing the game and all three end with the destruction of their ship but Danny points out that there is one survivor! His character from the third play through, the one they sold into slavery. Naturally he's gleeful about it.
Shrek Forever After
Ross has a few preferences when it comes to women's hair colors.
Ross: We talked about this. Things we found attractive and one of the things I don't like, no offense to blonde girls, I'm not attracted to girls with blonde hair. Danny: Oh! Girls with blonde hair: you are beautiful. Ross: No offense but the reason being is my sister has blonde hair. I just... y'know- Danny: Your sister is super hot. Ross: I-duah-Danny... Now everyone knows and now everyone is going to be looking her up. Don't do that.
The entire wolfjob segment, but especially the photoshopping part at the end.
Danny: Barry put a hat on the wolf. Now put a smaller wolf giving a smaller handjob on top of the man's head. Ross: Now put a hat on that wolf, and another small wolf on the first hat.
No Time To Explain
In Part 3, Ross performs poorly on a stage, so he asks Danny to slap him.
Ross: Hit me. Slap me. Danny: *clap* Ross: No, real slap me. Danny: Really? In the face? Do you want me to? Ross: Yeah. Do it. Danny: *slap* Ross: AAAAAGH FUCK! Danny: (laughing) Oh my god. I really slapped you. Ross: Agh... Danny: I know. You wanted me to. Ross: Ugh... Danny: It's not helping. Ross: It's not helping, it just made me dizzy! Danny: Maybe if I slap you again, it'll reverse the- Ross: Do it again! Try! Try! Danny: Really? Ross: Yeah! Danny: *slap* Ross: OW! Oh god, that hurt! Danny: It feels terrible. My hand's stinging. Ross: Oh god, Danny, I can't focus!
Early on, Danny asks Barry to start a counter of the number of times that Ross dies.
At 100 deaths: a birthday hat is placed on the counter while confetti falls and children cheer.
At 200 deaths: the same as 100 deaths happens, but is cut off immediately as Ross quickly dies again.
At 300 deaths: the "yay" is at a lower pitch and there's no confetti.
At 400 deaths: the party hat is replaced with a dunce cap.
At 500 deaths: a fire burns the counter and turns it yellow.
At 600 deaths: during the art game level, the hat is replaced with a beret and a cigarette.
At 700 deaths: an "I died a lot" blue ribbon is pinned to the counter and quiet clapping is played.
At 800 deaths: two muscular arms flexing are put on the counter and "YES!" replaces the counter momentarily, because the counter is getting a workout.
Barry then sets the counter and the entire bottom of the recording aflame at the end of the playthrough, in response to Danny asking if he's ready to count more deaths when there's potentially more to the game.
Just before they clear a particularly troublesome section in Part 9:
Ross: Give me some encouragement. Danny: Ross? Ross: Yeah? Danny: I'll kill you if you fuck this up.
Also this Rossism:
Ross: One of my good friends back in Perth, he was Chinese... well, he's still Chinese, I'd imagine...
The intro. Dear God, the intro. It starts off normal, and then...
Danny: So all aboard the Steam Trai-*Killed Mid-Sentence by a bullet to the head* Arin: *As a train robber, comes on-screen and holds the gun to Ross' head* Say it. Ross: *Terrified and crying as he says it* C-Choo choooooo!
Arin and Ross's... unusual pronunciation of the word "baby".
Since Ross's family comes from Ireland, he (apparently) has the inherent tendency to compare things to potatoes.
Episode 6 Begins with the screen upside down, so Ross decides to try playing the game upside down on the couch. And we actually get to see him on camera when he does it.
In part 11, Ross tries to find out what the sparkles in the forest area background do. He tries to use Siri on Arin's phone, but he stammers his way through the question.
Ross: "Hey, Siri. How do you... What the fu- what do the gol- the gold things in Rogue Legacy do?" Siri: "I didn't find anything for 'how do you was a fight with a goal the gall things in Ralek see do the button'." Arin: "Of course you didn't, Siri! That doesn't sound very surprising, Siri!" Siri: "If you like, I can search the web for 'how do you was a fight with a goal the gall things in Ralek see do the button'." Arin: "Just forget it, Siri."
To say nothing of them flipping out at each other near the end.
All 25 minutes of Veni Vidi Vici in part 8, complete with grand intro and Barry taking a moment to warn the audience that this is what the entire episode is gonna be. They make it.
Arin at one point tells Barry to feel free to fast forward.
Barry: I ain't fast forwarding nothin'
During one of the many attempts, Ross tells Arin to 'channel his chi' so he can win. This results in a few seconds of silence while Arin breathes in and out slowly...he still fails which causes him to scream "FUCK" so loud that Ross yelps in fright.
The subsequent freakout when they finally make it is a thing of beauty.
The playthrough completely derails when neither Arin nor Ross can figure out how to control the Doctor or River Song, mainly because of how shoddy the controls are. Ross gets caught on a platforming segment, while Arin bungles River's escape segment repeatedly. Eventually, they call it quits and Arin has a mini-freakout at the end of the video, chanting Doctor Who as the screen closes in on Ross making the Doctor wander around and wildly distorts. They abort the playthrough without even passing the first levels.
They Bleed Pixels
A few funny stories about their last convention appearance. The last story tells how Arin would stick a Game Grumps sticker onto the backs of people that annoyed him, Ross thought he was doing it for everyone and did the same. When the two try to leave Ross stuck a sticker onto Arin's back and people suddenly noticed Arin like a beacon and started talking to him every few steps. Apparently when Arin finally figured out why people were noticing him he gave Ross a death glare.
The Stanley Parable
It should be noted that Steam Train got a version of the demo specifically made for the show.
The waiting room, "all the thrills of the waiting room." Then they're super excited to get their number and get ahead of themselves a few times for 26 and 27. When 28 finally comes up they go crazy and then quiet down when they remember they're in a professional place.
The "8" button.
And then when they reach the beginning again, the narrator blames the conductors, and forces them to apologize to the audience. Danny wastes no time with pinning the blame on Ross.
After Ross and Danny appear to encounter a Game-Breaking Bug, the narrator blames them and even says "Goddamnit Ross!"
Ross and Danny's steadily mounting fury at the game's constant fake-outs.
Danny: (completely deadpan) I am becoming enraged. *Ross bursts out laughing*
Leisure Suit Larry
Once in the game proper, Ross has this to ask Danny before they go into Lefty's Bar:
Ross: "Dan, I have a very serious question to ask. Can we lick things?" Danny: "Yes, we can lick things." Ross: "Yes!!!"
Since this is a Sierra Game, Danny lets Ross continue the tradition of saving games.
Ross answering the questions during the "555-6969" call. Also Danny's line during one of the exchanges.
Danny: (reading) "Larry, what is your favorite sex partner's first name." (to Ross) Better put in your wife. (Beat) Okay, "Batman".
And the payoff for this in part five, when the phone rings again...
Danny: Wait, let's answer this. "You pick up the telephone and hear a familiar voice..." Ross: Batman? Danny: "Hello Larry! This is Batman..." Ross: Yes! Yes!!! Danny: "I was just sitting here in the Arkham, wearing your hats and thinking about you (if you know what I mean!)." Ross: Oh, awesome! Danny: Oh, God... "Why don't you forget about this silly game, and come over to my place? I'll slip into my Cape, and we'll curl up in front of the fireplace and I'll stick in our copy of Star Wars!" Ross: This sounds like a great night, we should go do that! Danny: "You know your my peeeeeeeeee has always turned me on! So bring along a Robin and come play with my Batanrangs!" Ross: (choking with laughter) Danny: "Pretty soon we'll both get excited and we'll-" (also loses it) Ross, Ross just fell off the couch! "Pretty soon we'll both get excited and we'll Hang out and stuff like we always do!"
In Part 9, when they get to the penthouse, Danny and Ross saw two paintings of a bared breast, and requested to Barry that he use their faces to cover both. Then as Larry makes eye contact with a woman while in the spa, they request that Barry cover the breasts with partially-submerged faces of Arin and himself, then Ross suggested to Barry that the woman's face be changed to Danny's, much to his objection and an argument with Barry frequently changing the face. As an offer of consolation, Danny requested Wolfjob, but the bickering over the face went on shortly after.
Call of Cthulu
Their reaction to unleashing some kind of alien and/or abomination.
It takes less than two minutes to see the kind of mods Ross has installed on his game when Alduin shows up...reskinned as Macho Man Randy Savage
Danny: Oh, damn! *collapses in a giggling fit* What the fuck, Ross!? Macho Man!Alduin: YEAH!
Through out the episodes Barry is providing a very helpful 'Danny annoyed' meter, which appears to be a still of Danny screaming "GODDAMMIT ROSS!!!" from the Goddammit Ross T-Shirt Commercial.
The meter goes: Annoyed -> Frustrated -> Enraged -> Ross! -> Goddammit Ross! -> Sigh...
The second part has Ross pulling a few freak outs when he reaches the sewers, he panics at the sight of a rat, starts screaming whenever he sees a vandal and just when he thinks he lost them there is one just behind him.
Their discussion on Ross' ADD. It's best summed up by Danny's recap:
Alduin returns but keeps his design for a while but it is equally hilarious seeing a well animated dragon giving some serious trash talk.
In part four they call upon Barry to fast forward through the history lesson at Alduin's Wall...looking up into the sky like they're asking God. He complies, and accompanies the fast forward with "One They Fear" on the kazoo.
Another couple of fast-forwards is when Ross tries and repeatedly fails to jump onto a platform to bypass a puzzle. The first fast-forward has Danny singing "Ross doesn't know how to jump over shit!", while the second has him sing the title theme from The Legend of Zelda, before Ross notes that it's the wrong song and sings "One They Fear".
In Part 5, Danny calls for Barry to edit in an Airhorn to celebrate Ross getting an Elder Scroll, Barry obliges... with a half-second (if that) toot.
Barry answers their request for Wolfjob... with a picture of a firefighter with a wolf's head.
In Part 10, after trapping the dragon Odahviing and talking to him, Ross thinks he successfully turned him to his side. Turns out, Ross messed something up and the dragon got aggro'd, as once Ross freed him, he began to kill everyone in the room and kill Ross's character. Ross freaking out the entire time just makes it so hilarious.
While Ross was (poorly) trying to climb over a wall to reach Sovngarde, a Macho Man dragon was constantly pelting him fire breath, spouting trash talk and Randy Savage quotes. The timing of those quotes delivered some unintentionaly hilarious moments:
Dan: "Ross, you're the worst." Ross: "I am..." Dragon:"YEAH!!"
Dan: "Shut up, Macho Man! Slim Jims are gross. I said it, I hope that's not a controversial opinion" Random Dragon:"YOU HAVEN'T BEEN BEAT UP PROPERLY!!"
The Oregon Trail
When Danny names the characters of the game, he obviously names them after his friends. Danny, Arin, Barry, Suzy... and Fuckhead. Of course, he immediately changes it to Ross, or rather "RAAAAAAWS".
Because the game is usually so quiet, Barry puts up country music as they do their shopping and prepare for the journey. When the game's real music starts playing, it's so loud it makes them scream in surprise.
Danny: Okay! Ross. So do you know about this? Do you know— Ross: I know it's like—you get—you poop yourself. Danny: That's...not...you get— *A Yankee Doodle starts blaring in MIDI form* Danny and Ross: AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! Danny:*As Ross continues screaming* OH GOD!!! Ross: HIT THE VOLUME!!! WHERE IS—* Speaks gibberish as Danny starts cracking up*—IT'S REALLY LOUD! *To the tune of the song as Danny continues to laugh* YANKEE DOODLE WENT TO TOWN RIDING ON A PONY—*Returns to gibberish* Danny: Oh my god, dude! Ross:*Still singing* That was kinda fucking loud! *Normally* That went like from gravity to fucking, like... Danny: That clipped the shit out of the fucking microphone. *Laughs* Oh my god. That was really fucking scary. Ross: I hope Barry can capture that properly. That was scary as hell.
Ross' knowledge of history is...somewhat lacking.
Dan: Going back to 1848... Ross: That's when when the wheel was invented! Dan: It is not...
Continuing the trend of games trolling Ross, RAAAAAAWS gets dysentery within a couple weeks of setting off.
It's somewhat ironic in a way, as when they started, Ross admitted that the only thing he knew about the game was that people die from diarrhea.
Danny politely asks Ross to stop interrupting him because it started to get out of hand during Skyrim.
Dan: So this game was for the Apple II E and I played this when I was- Ross: Oh your fucking cow are having seizures- Dan: WILL YOU FUCKING LET ME TALK ROSS!? I can't go through another game with you interrupting me-don't rub my shoulders it feels terrible. Stop!
The second part has everything go to hell to such a fantastic extent that it is appropriately called "And We're Dead". Unsurprisingly, RAAAAAAWS is the first to die. Suzy and Barry follow literally seconds later.
Especially funny is how, unbeknownst to them, they forgot to stock up on food and therefore starved all of their characters to death. This leads to them all dying by resting for weeks and weeks. (Even further hilarious is when Arin has exhaustion during the rest, and then dies immediately after.)
What makes it even funnier still is that they intended part 2 to end like normal, but part 3 ended up getting cut so short due to Danny and Arin's deaths that it was added at the end of part 2 as a result.
World of Warplanes
Ross decides to test the fidelity of the game's physics engine by flying through a forest. It doesn't end well.
King's Quest V
The first time they save.
Danny: You know what? Before we do anything... Ross:*With a slightly eager inflection* Yeah? Danny: ...time to save. Ross: Ooh! Ooh!!! Ooh!!! Oooooh! Danny: I know, Ross. I know. Okay. So you probably just want to say something like "Here we are at the beginning". *Ross types "dont cry guy* Danny: ..."Don't cry guy." Okay, Ross. You are so happy to do these.
Later on, they run out of save-space and have to start replacing old saves with new ones, so "dont cry guy" is the first to go, and because Graham has just rescued a badly-injured Cedric from the Harpies on Harpy Island, they replace it with "dont die guy".
In part 7, in order for Graham to traverse the snowy mountains, they have to put on a cloak, which Ross and Danny decide make him look decidedly "Lord of the Rings". So after Cedric is spirited away by a wolf, before they go after him, Danny decides to have a "Lord of the Rings Moment" by having the cloaked Graham look out over the mountain range and they ask Barry to play the music from the movies. Barry responds with the music from Jurassic Park.
Ross vows vengenace on the group's mole all because she 'stole' the bulk of the outfit he dressed Barbie into.
Duke: Nuclear Winter
Their reactions to Duke's vicious kick while still being able to walk.
After two episodes of Ross trying to get past a small army of vicious snowmen the third opens with them remembering they can save. Arin is quite sure no one will be angry at them forgetting that.
Earlier Ross came to a cracked wall and left it alone since kicks could not break it. Since they were having trouble finding the red card key Ross has a moment of intuition and uses a rocket to blow a wall down. Ross is happy he figured something out and Arin congradulates him...only for it to be an alternate route to the bathroom. Ross then commits suicide with the rocket launcher.
Near the end of part 1, Danny starts to get really disturbed at just how sadistic Ross gets in the game (attacking people for no reason, kicking chickens and just generally being a dick), especially when Ross starts with the Evil Laugh...
Ride to Hell: Retribution
The words "sack of shit" (said in an overly gruff voice) becomes something of a running joke in this playthrough.
In Part 1, During a very broken combat sequence, Ross breaks into song.
Arin: (laughing, singing along) Do you wanna fuckin' go, man?
Both: (singing somewhat in unison) Punch you right in the face...
Arin: I'll kick while you're down in this airport!
The video is called Part 1 but half way through it Arin does not think Ride to Hell is worth a series. But gradually through out the second half he starts to unravel the mystery of its low score and tells Ross they should continue a little longer.
Whenever Jake fails a mission, his bike spontaneously explodes and the mission is over. Other bikes explode randomly when their riders are beaten off of them, only for the bikes to remain on the road completely solid.
Whenever Jake hits a car or barrier, he doesn't react except to throw his arms up in exaggerated disappointment, with the scene fading into black and starting him back on the road. This leads to some hilarious crashes.
They save a woman from someone thus a little Coitus Ensues, much to their disbelief and Steam Train gets steamy.
Barry obliging the request to censor bar the first sex scene, even though there's nothing to censor...particularly the censor bar with a cartoon penis drawn on it.
Ross asks Barry to put censor bars everywhere.
The characters never disrobe during the sex scenes, including one segment where Jake and a mechanic woman both have sex, with Jake in full getup and the woman in a denim jumpsuit.
Ross (as Naomi): Yeah, fuck me right there in my pocket.
Whenever the gang resorts to giving the cutscenes the MST treatment.
In Part 8, in a bar, the two encounter Naomi, a bartender- and then the next scene, both a live Naomi and a broken, dead, standing-up Naomi stand next to each other behind the bar. Arin is stunned.
At the end, when Arin accidentally calls this show "Game Grumps":
Ross: It makes me sad when you say that; apologize right now.
Arin: Alright. I'm really sorry. (runs into an electric fence and kills himself)
In Part 9, they try jumping a fence, only to see pressing Space makes Jake crouch, raising his arms in a defensive position. They decide Jake is cowering against the beautiful scenery, including the fence.
Also in Part 9, Jake gets control over a giant oil tanker. Hijinks ensue.
Ross: *steering into truck* Now what if I just bang into this? *crashes* Whoa! *car flails, random buildings explode*
The oil tanker continues to destroy cop cars and other obstacles with ease... but is stopped and reset twice by a tiny fence, and later, a two-foot-tall sign.
Arin: Cars going the opposite direction? Nah, nothing. A fucking traffic sign? Watch out!
Also, immediately after that, the incoming car they knock around 180 degrees decides to just start driving that way.
Ross (as driver): Uh, I guess I'm going this way now... I guess I don't want to go to Disneyland anymore.
In Part 10, Jake comes to a broken electric wire and, since he cannot jump, decides to run over it and dies. An info box pops up telling him what to do (shoot the fuse) only after Jake is busy electrocuting himself.
Episode 10 ends with Jake blowing up the electric plant, except the developers forgot to remove the cops standing at the blockade (which also exploded) that are expected to be shooting consistently at the player. This continues into the cutscene.
Ross: What were those guys shooting at?
Arin: They're shooting at the next episode of Steam Train
Ross: WE GOTTA PUT OUT THE FIRE, SHOOT IT!
The entire episode consists of playing a game where everything is wrong. Coins, cupcakes, platforms, and flowers make you explode violently, while spikes act like trampolines and pits warp you to the top of the screen. Meanwhile, Danny has to figure it out and Ross, already knowing full well how ass-backwards this game is, is laughing harder than he has ever laughed before watching Danny keep blowing himself up in rage.
Oh, and the main character's head is modded with unflattering screenshots of Danny Sexbang himself. Even funnier is when the decapitated head is left lying around post-explosion.
Keeping in Line with Ross turning the tables on Danny, Ross says "Goddammit, Dan!"
While waiting to play online, they decide to talk smack to other players. By literally typing the word SMACK repeatedly into the chat box.
In the first match, Arin and Ross are barely holding on, only surviving thanks to their fellow players.
Arin focusing on one particular player both matches, and no one else.
Becomes a Brick Joke when everyone on their team begins the second match attacking said player, killing him.
He can lift a car-bor-ator!...He can lift a Caramel chew!
Episode 3: Ross ignores popular demand and turns his creature into a cock-and-balls with a mouth(the only feature his creature absolutely needed). He regrets this soon afterwards, realizing that Legs For Days can't catch up with prey and its lack of eyeballs gives it no clue where it's going.
He starts off strong in the episode with this beautiful line.
Perhaps the best part is the blink-and-you'll-miss-it patch over one of the icons. It's obviously an edit, because the mouse cursor goes behind it, but it's also equally obvious that it's something Arin doesn't want you to see. How do we know? It's covered with a patch that says SUPER PORN.
The awkward interactions between the main character, Linda, and her best friend Ira. The Grumps interpret their relationship as being more than just friends. At one point, the camera shows the two of them talking, cuts away, and then cuts back to them having an intense game of pattycake.
During the pattycake game, Linda gets distracted when someone talks to her. Cue Ira slapping her across the face, much to the horror of the group. It then escalates even further.
Their reactions to any of the scary moments. Or rather, Ross losing his mind at every thing that's meant to be scary, regardless of whether or not it's already happened, which then causes Arin and Danny to freak out.
Danny: Did that say "MC Toilet?"
Arin: MC Toil-(Laughs)
Danny: MC Toilet, y'all!
(The Pig Monster they've already encountered peeks it's head through the doorway and gets stuck)
The Grumps are able to predict a lot of things that happen in the game, such as Ross, who is voicing the girl-best friend, calling the protagonist an idiot in-character, and then the game text doing the same, or when Arin jokingly suggests the guy whose sister is rumored to know where the shrine is has a crush on his sister, and it turns out he does.
Followed by Danny unfamiliar with the concept of a Tsundere. Unfortunately followed by Arin's incredibly awkward, dark, and mood-killing (not to mention completely incorrect) explanation of what a tsundere is, that temporarily grinds the fun to a halt.
At the end, after staring at a naked girl for five minutes, they wrap up the episode with the following:
Danny: Well...Guys, I'm gonna go excuse myself for... Arin: ...You gonna go to the bathroom? Danny: ...about ten minutes. Yeah. Arin: I need to use it first. Ross: I need to use it at the same time. (all talking over each other) Ross: Wait, let's be straight. What are we doing in the bathroom? Danny: (Beat) Uh...alright, let's uh, let's say it... Ross: One two three. Danny: Right, on three. One, two, three. All: Jerking off.note Arin admits in the outro that he just said gibberish Danny: Okay. NexttimeonSteamTrain.
It becomes clear very quickly that Ross is the only one between he, Barry, and Arin to be the only one well versed in Warcraft. He immediately confuses the hell out of Arin and Barry by informing them that the orcs are aliens and that the bird in the opening cinematic is literally a man. When asked how the orcs, being tribal aliens, got to Azeroth without spaceships he talks about the Dark Portal, at which point Barry laughs and makes clear that he really has no idea if Ross is bullshitting them or not.
The bulk of the episode was quite funny but the last ten minutes has footage of Ross and Arin taking a stab at in-door Cricket. The whole time Ross has an enormous mustache drawn on his face, calling back to the better the mustache the better the player.
Barry: Let's just take a moment to... reflect on how good our lives are, that we don't have to be murdered by robot animals, and we can live, learn from this experience... we don't have to end this way, this is a warning-
Suzy: Barry? Shut up.
Arin: (laughs, sobs)
Suzy: You know I love you-
Barry: I'm just gonna curl up in my Happiness Blanket. (muffled) My blanket understands me!
Arin has the hiccups. Ross attempts to cure him of them by promising him 100 dollars if he hiccups again. After a few seconds of silence, it seems like it's worked...only for Arin to hiccup again.
Ross: I will give you a hundred dollars if you hiccup again.
Also, Arin continually finds himself shocked at just how snarky the walkthrough is, to the point of actually asking the author just what the hell their problem is.
The opening promo for Steam Rolled.
Ross:*Standing next to Dan* We at Steam Train challenge Game Grumps to a duel! Dan:*Suddenly standing next to Arin* We accept! Ross:*Looks to where Dan used to be* What the fuck!? Who's going to be on my team!? *Camera cuts to Barry who notices and immediately starts shaking his head no* *Intro begins*
The pouty face of Ross' character head after it rolled in the title sequence late, prompting a "Goddammit, Ross!"
Barry does not join in with the vocal commentary, using the in-game text chat functions as his medium of commentary instead. This makes his short-lived and soft-spoken deliveries hilariously blunt.
Which makes the one thing he says at the end of the Counter-Strike: Global Offensive episode all the funnier.
Danny: I'm gunna go plahnt da bahmb. Oh no! Arin: Don't plant da bahmb! Danny: Dere's a guy dere! Arin: Hold on, KABOOM! Danny:(mumbles incoherently) Arin:I blew off his face! Danny: Did y- did you? Arin: Hold on, I can- I thi- Oh wait... Danny: No! He fe- oh, he fell off the bridge! (begins taking fire from Ross) Arin: I got 'im... Danny:(obliviously advancing forward, despite still taking fire) Yeahh! (dies) Ahh! He shot me with a gun! Arin:(also killed by Ross)I GOT 'IM!
Barry: I can talk! *The others show approval* Ross: How'd you manage that? Barry: I used my vocal box! And now I can speak words! *coughs* I'm not used to it! Arin: Is that the first time you've spoken in, like, forever? Barry: Ever! Ross: I think I saw a moth fly out of your mouth.
Apparently the moth wasn't from Barry not speaking in a while, but rather, in his own words, he was "storing them for later", and that they "kinda taste like Skittles."
The opening leading to Suzy's debut on the show. Arin, Dan, Ross, and Barry are all laughing playing games while Suzy is surrounded around papers in the corner before informing them that the budget won't allow them to film on the moon...
Danny:*Rips a cartoonish drawing of him on the moon off his chest and stands up* This is bullshit! *Leaves the room rendering his spot on the couch empty* *Beat* Arin: Suzy, you're up! Suzy: Oh! Cool! *Gets up to join them as it cuts to the intro*
It should come as no surprise that they end up playing Hop and Pop. Again. This time it's Barry in the spiky ball. And as soon as the game starts he begins talking in a not quite pirate voice. Arin eventually asks why he's being so creepy.
Barry: Heeeeere coooomes Yoshiiiii. Heeeeere coooomes Yoshiiiii! Who likes spiky balls? Do you like spiky balls m'dearrrrr? *Ross is popped as everyone else shouts* Waluigi likes spiky balls! Ross: Awwwww... Arin: It's satisfying because you were a meat-shield for me!
Arin uses a Mega Mushroom to get to the star, squishing Suzy in the process...only to learn the hard way you can't get a star while using a Mega Mushroom.
Arin:*Approaching the star* Yeah, yeah! WHOO! *Passes the star and nothing happens* Barry, Ross, and Suzy: ...What? *Barry starts laughing* Arin: You can't get it when you're big? YOU CAN'T GET IT WHEN YOU'RE BIG!? Ross: That's awesome! Ahahaha! Ohhh, that's funny. You fucked up. You fucked up. You fucked up.
Suzy fumbling with the ending of part 2 starting with "Next time on Game Grumps" to "Next time on Steam Train" and finally to "Next time on Steam Rolled".
In Part 3, for the "Take a Breather" minigame, Ross comically obliges and momentarily steps out for the break, so he was out for the entire minigame's duration.
It's made better due to the mini game being about the characters seeing how long they can hold their breathe underwater. So while Peach, Daisy, and Yoshi all jump into the water, Waluigi stays on the plank and seems like the Only Sane Man. Lampshaded by Arin.
Barry being prompted to show something in the edit creates a paradox. Later he even prompts himself to edit the video. He claims it gave him a Psychic Nosebleed.
During the finale, Ross takes a moment during the final few rounds to use the lottery shop, and Arin tells Ross he hopes he doesn't get the gold ball. Then that is EXACTLY what happens, and Ross earns 100 coins, which gives him an absurdly demanding lead.
The opening moments make it clear that Arin, Ross, Barry, and Suzy are all crammed on the couch like sardines.
Ross: Hey, welcome to squish couch! Arin: Whoooo! Squish couch! Ross: We thought it would be a good idea to fit all four of us on the couch. Arin: It was not a good idea. Ross: It's really hurting! Suzy: It's really uncomfortable. Ross:I'm the one getting the blunt end of the stick! When Arin got on the couch I got squished into the arm! Arin: The blunt end of the stick...? Ross: Hey, man, it hurts! The blunt end! Cause it hurts. Arin: The short end?
And then moments later...
Arin: Alright, first to six! Ross: Alright, if I could just get my arm in here, Barry... Barry: Ow! Oh! Oh my god! Oh my ribs! Suzy: I wish all our viewers could see this right now. They'd be so pleased.
Everyone decides to play as their own characters, except for Ross, who decides to play as "Chinigan," a really dumb-looking Mii who looks oddly like someone else on the couch...
The island section of the board is named "Chinigan's island", because of Ross's three-story fruit stand on it. The name is kept even after Suzy buys it out for historical purposes.
Ross constantly commenting on how the shifting game board resembles chopped-off male genitalia (even when it really doesn't).
In part 2, Arin decides that it looks more like an "ergonomic future lobster".
Ross becoming increasingly unhinged as the series progresses. At the end of Part 6:
Suzy: Next time on Steam Rolled: Will Suzy finally win? Ross: No! Suzy: We'll find out! Will Ross final- Ross: No!! Barry: Will Ross finally grow- Ross:No!! Suzy:(beat) Next time. Ross:No-(episode ends)
Immediately at the start of Part 8, before the intro even starts, Lakitu causes Ross's best shop to close, prompting him to repeatedly yell "Fuck you!"
During Part 8, Suzy finally lands on Ross' pimped-out fruit stand. Ross spends the rest of the episode in a joyful mania, complete with gloating laughter and chants of "Ross wins".
Even better is when she lands on it in complete silence (as opposed to the Grumps' usual screaming and anger) while Ross and Arin talk, and it takes Ross until after the fact to realize that she just landed on it.
Or when he's so busy cheering he allows Arin to score a vital property in Suzy's auction with only one bid.
And then going away from the bank in Part 10 simply because he didn't want to pay more for landing on Arin's property than Barry's, and because he doesn't "look like the kind of guy who cares about things that make sense". Then he lands on Barry's more expensive property on his next turn!
Suzy: Next time on Steam Rolled, come see us murder Ross, cut off his thumbs, and use them to press our two buttons!
In the finale Ross' might fruit stand is finally defeated. He spends the rest of the episode in the back of the room sounding like he's lost the will to live...before doing exactly what Arin and Danny said he does during the October 2013 AMA and starts rigging the game propelling Arin to victory over Suzy who had been winning the vast majority of the series.
A minor one, but Ross refers to DK Mountain as "Dick Mountain".
From Part 2: "Existential crisis, gonna lose my license."
When Arin's team of Peach and Bowser Jr. wins a round, he mistakenly refers to it as "Team Father-Daughter". Ross instead calls it "Team Bestiality", causing a Squick reaction from Suzy.
Upon changing battles, the group have to choose characters again. Suzy picks Peach before Arin does, so he chooses Koopa and Paratroopa instead, referring to the duo as the "Koopa-Koopa Clan", or according to Ross, "KKK".
Becomes Hilarious in Hindsight when Barry becomes the lowest scoring player in single digits compared to the other three in double digits.
Many of the lame jokes coming out of playing the BALL-dozer game.
During Sketchy Situation, the one-two punch of mass armpit farting, followed by the Grumps imitating Party Phil's voice patterns.
In "Sketchy Situation" Barry admits that he'd started to draw a computer mouse on his sketch of a keyboard, but crossed it out because it started to look like a penis... not that it mattered, because Ross just drew a penis on his sketch for no reason anyway.
The end result of Sketchy Situation: Everyone wins!
In Part 3, they decide to play two out of three. After Arin wins the first round, he reveals he wasn't even trying. Cue Barry sarcastically pretending to be him, giving the episode's title:
Barry: Oh. Arin's amazing at video games! (Complete with thrown text across the screen.) Oh, look at me, I'm Arin...Look at me, I'm so attractive and handsome, and great at video games.
For Banished, Barry does so poorly that everyone dies before he constructs a building. At the end, Ross covers Barry's mouth so he can't talk and whispers into mic, apologizing for Barry's incompetence. Probably the first time those words have ever been uttered.