The gay dating...ok, hook-up site Adam4Adam heavily features porn ads to keep it free. Most of the ads are pleasing to the eye (even when the scenarios are silly, at least the models are hot), except for those that promote a pornographic cartoon site. It's fair to assume that most people can happily live their lives without ever seeing Mr. Burns get it on with Smithers, among other famous cartoon characters having graphic sex.
Anime and Manga
The Zetsuai1989 OAVs have an... odd art style, especially for the supposed bishonenYaoi Guys who end up having spider-leg fingers and chins so pointy they could be used as weapons. Just take a look at the picture shown in this review and decide if you'd find that sexy. ("When you're screaming at the screen for the bishounen to put his shirt back ON, you know there's something wrong.")
GaoGaiGar FINAL ramped up the Fanservice, but it felt extremely out of place and weird, even becoming squick in the case of Pilnus.
Queen's Blade has this particular problem. It tries to cram in as much Fanservice as possible, while also trying to take itself seriously (The exception being the first episode). As a result, the fanservice distracts from the drama and vise-verse.
Someone at Toei Animation seems to like it, as their bizarre proportions are exaggerated and given more screen time in the anime, particularly from the Fishman Island arc and onwards.
The Gainaxing in Umineko No Naku Koro Ni goes from merely annoying to downright tasteless at certain points. It's like Rosa and Ange are the only women in the series who have ever heard of a bra. In context, due to their ignorant or immortal (really old) natures... they just might be.
Yaoi example: Kizuna. Enjouji, PLEASE take off your socks before having sex with Ranmaru, okay?
And those chins, man. You could use the lead males' chins as knives.
Similarly, in smutty shoujos and joseis you see the male lead fondle/squeeze/suck/sometimes even bite on the female's breasts during their sexual acts... and often you end up thinking "OW, OW, BREASTS DON'T WORK THAT WAY!"
Pokémon RéBURST sometimes has female characters in fanservice-y poses. A pity that the girls are usual rendered in the Boobs and Butt Pose that requires the spines to be non-existent. Either that, or the girl's anatomy is just plain bizarre with misshapen body parts.
An important health warning to anyone: women drawn by Rob Liefeld will make your genitals retreat into your pelvis and start building protective turrets. Unless, of course, you have a thing for women who use the pouches on their stomachs to digest food.
Guillem March's work on books like Gotham City Sirens and Catwoman can sometimes fall into this, since while he generally has a decent grasp of anatomy he sometimes really pushes it with the Fanservice. In particular, the end of the relaunch of Catwoman has Batman and Selina going at it on a rooftop while still mostly in costume but the circumstances, including the fact that they no longer know each other's identities thanks to a Retcon, and Bruce's Questionable Consent made most fans of the pairing respond not with "Yes!" but rather "Do Not Want!"
While March does indeed have a decent grasp of Anatomy, it's not something that shows in a number of his works. Case in point, the cover of Catwoman #0, where Catwoman is posed in a anatomically impossible manner so we can see her breasts and butt (with one butt-cheek strangely larger than the other) at the same time. It's inspired numerous parody illustrations including ones from Kate Beaton, and Cameron Stewart. Faith erin hicks described it as being offensive to people with eyes. Thankfully March listened to the criticism and redrew the cover with Catwmoman looking far more anatomically correct◊.
The infamous My Immortal Harry Potter fanfic, when the genitals are referred to as "thingy" and "you-know-what".
You-Know-What? Wouldn't that be Voldemort's penis? Fetish Retardant indeed...
How about when Draco "puts(s) his boy's thingy in (her's)"...Yeah.
The notoriously awful Lord of the Rings fanfic Celebrian is loaded with this. Even if you're someone who would actually be turned on by the story's Squicky sexual content, lines like "Oh, thank you, great-king-with-balls-of-fire, king-whose-great-rod-my-mouth-yearns-for." and "Very well, cock-sucker, suck-cock." are likely to cause a completely different reaction.
One Hellsing fanfic (title unknown) was pretty good up until the point where Integral started wondering about Alucard's "one-eyed trouser snake". Narm in itself, and completely out of character for Integra.
The funny part is that it's a real-life euphemism, but becomes rather freakish when you take into account his powers. And his one-eyed trouser snake is probably a literal one-eyed trouser snake, considering Alucard's eye for Squicky humor.
Several K/SSlashLemons mention that Spock's dick is green. Not limited to fanfics. Leonard Nimoy was asked if they were green. And yes, "they". Apparently, Vulcans have forked dicks.
Not just forked. Vulcan green tentacle cock has shown up on more than one occasion.
Chocobo Nights: even assuming that there are people out there who enjoy the thought of Tifa being impregnated by a chocobo, the terrible spelling renders it impossible to find this fic anything but either horrifying or funny.
"It's so furry!"
The Pokemon Story starts off with a horryfing example of Pokémon rape, and just somehow keeps getting worse. You'll need a lot of Brain Bleach by the time you've finished.
Showgirls is the film Trope Codifier. For a film that was sold on how sexy it was, it fails on all counts. Showgirls has two main problems:
1) No one in the movie can act. Bad acting is much funnier when everyone is naked. Elizabeth Berkley in particular, plays a psychotic stripper with a hair-trigger temper, and is aggressively non-acting the entire film. Her nude scenes, of which there are many, become ridiculous or uncomfortable because of how unbalanced (and badly acted) her character is.
2) Everyone is naked. The ever present nudity becomes almost surreal. Naked bad acting moves into the realm of the absurd. The dance numbers in particular provide some weird, weird moments like naked cavemen dancing, or BDSM biker rallies.
Things that should be erotic are hilarious because everyone in the movie is acting in the most Narmful way possible. Elizabeth Berkley having sex with Kyle MacLachlan gives us moments like her attempting to perform super-awkward oral sex in a pool, and then having an orgasm that looks more like an epileptic seizure.
Expect anything sexy in a movie being riffed on MST3K to turn out this way. After all, if they weren't bad movies, they wouldn't be on the show.
In Space Mutiny, a female character's prolonged suggestive dancing only nauseates Mike and the Bots ("She's presenting like a mandrill!")
Mostly because the woman looked to be possibly the oldest person in the cast... and the movie kept treating like a sexy teenager.
In The Screaming Skull, the complete lack of appeal in the movie's love scene prompts the line, "Flat, drab passion meanders aimlessly across the screen!"
A movie called Racket Girls had the butt ugliest women ever in it. As Crow said "My loins will never stir again"
In Hobgoblins, Kyle obviously has some... unusual tastes in women. Considering the woman that appears in his Hobgoblin-induced fantasy looks old enough to be his mother, and her completely unsubtle come-ons are especially overdone.
In the Australian romantic movie The Heartbreak Kid (not to be confused with the Ben Stiller film), when the much-anticipated sex scene comes along the music they choose to play is Lacrimosa from Mozart's Requiem Mass. Funeral music? Not so sexy... unless you're an UberGoth, that is.
Many people believe the Neo/Trinity sex scene in The Matrix Reloaded was not sexy at all, but instead horrendously out-of-place and even a little bit gross, despite being juxtaposed with a borderline orgy scene. The fact that it's actually pretty hard to tell which of them is which may be a factor.
Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li is not a good movie. The completely un-sexy "sexy" club dance between Chun-Li and Cantana didn't help, given the utter lack of any sort of heat between the two women, and the corresponding Fridge Logic that went with it (Just how the hell does Bison's right hand woman not know who Chun-Li is?).
At the end of the first Transformers movie, we briefly see Sam and Mikaela making out on top of Sam's car. The problem is that Sam's car is the Autobot Bumblebee, who as we know is sentient.
Zerophilia is about a person dealing with a very rare condition that allows you to change sexes during arousal or orgasm. Sounds cool, until you bring in the Fridge Logic involved with the mechanics of the condition. It's explicitly shown that orgasm is the key to full change. So how does it work when a woman with the condition has an orgasm while having a man inside her?
Disco Pigs managed to do this with Cillian Murphy, even when some thought that was impossible. We're just accepting Murphy (then 24) as a teenage boy, then he's shirtless. Ooh, drool. And heartbreakingly smitten with his female best friend. But then he goes into a ridiculously long monologue about his best friend, describing how he wants to be with her in rather graphic sexual terms, and she looks so cute and innocent and young and actually 16 in her nightie and he suddenly looks really old...
Of course, some girls loved it. However, many people had the same reaction as above - there is even artwork to prove it.
Burt Reynolds and Shirley Maclaine making out in the back seat in Cannonball Run II.
In The Piano, people were treated to more of Harvey Keitel than they ever wanted to see
Sextette: Mae West is still being presented as a memetic sex goddess, a good forty years (at least) after her Hollywood prime, complete with obviously false teeth.
A Clockwork Orange: Alex's threeway with a couple of girls might be hot. Sped up and set to the William Tell Overture? Not so much.
Anita Blake brings us Ikea Erotica, sex with half-turned were-creatures, sex with underaged boys, sex with mentally and emotionally damaged strippers, group sex with no sanitation at all, and some of the most terrifyingly foodlike descriptions of oral sex ever. All in all, some might like it, but Yuck.
Twilight. If the Purple Prose and ridiculous, Harlequin romance-style descriptions of Edward don't make you laugh, the revelation that he literally sparkles in the sunlight certainly will. And then when it comes to the actual sex, if you aren't turned off by the incredibly violent injuries Bella sustains, it turns out that Edward is a pillow biter. Literally. Not to mention the fact that he's always described as being ice cold to the touch, even in the love scenes. Sounds about as pleasant as using a popsicle. Or getting a pelvic exam with a cold speculum.
Vurt by Jeff Noon manages to avoid IKEA Erotica, but falls into a trap with the same effect, in its longest sex scene. An extended, rather literal metaphor is made, with the girl's vagina as a garden that ultimately gets "filled with sap."
It gives us an eleven year old gang bang, with all six of the main boys taking turns on the singular (very prepubescent) girl of the bunch to reforge their mental bond with one another. Many viewers are horribly trapped between a massive amount of Squick and being taken in at how awkwardly heartwarming the scene still manages to be, especially Ben finally getting to admit how much he loves her... aww, but eww, but aww...
In the first Kitty Norville book, the image of a bunch of naked werewolves huddling together for warmth and closeness in a cave could be interpreted as Rule of Sexy, or possibly a kind of Ugly Cute. But see the book's entry in Fridge Horror and then take another look. Earlier, the sex scene between Kitty and Carl is kinda hot, if you can dig the dom/sub aspect, but then Carl ends it by saying "I'll take care of you, and you don't ever have to grow up."
Used intentionally with Johnnie in House of Leaves. She has features that would regularly be considered sexy (Gag Boobs, full lips, platinum-blond hair), but the description draws attention to their artificial nature: her lips are stuffed with fat sucked from a corpse, and her implants have enough salt water in them for two oceans. Also, her eyes are red.
Fifty Shades of Grey is this for the people who don't find it sexy; there is no middle ground whatsoever. Usually, the retardant comes in whenever Anastasia Steele mentions her "Inner Goddess", the bizarre euphemisms she uses to describe her vagina, Christian Grey's penis, or condoms, and then there are the actual sex scenes themselves.
It's also this to BDSM fans as it's very clear that the author isn't familiar with the subculture and doesn't seem to understand Safe, Sane and Consensual, which makes some scenes genuinely horrifying.
Live Action TV
Ianto and Jack's implicit- something (naked hide and seek, anyone?) in season 2 of Torchwood. Gareth David-Lloyd is cute. John Barrowman isn't exactly bad looking either. But put them together, subtract the clothes and add some implicit wild lust and you get the most hilarious pseudo-sex scene in Torchwood history. It's possible that some hardcore fans of the pairing were titillated, but more from the idea than the presentation. Maybe this was intentional- after all, Gwen is laughing...
In Tipping The Velvet the heroine ends up the plaything of a dominatrix/sexual adventuress, with a first encounter involving a strap-on dildo. Some readers found the equivalent scene in the book very erotic. In the TV version ridiculous, impossible to describe music is playing throughout. It's more like the soundtrack to a sporting event. Any sexiness is shattered.
True Blood has a great many sex scenes, and a great many scenes involving blood. These scenes tend to coincide. Often. Then there's the corkscrew sex in season three.
And then there's the neck-snapping sex in season two, and (in season one) Sookie and Bill have sex immediately after he digs himself out of the mud while he's been sleeping in all night.
in The Sarah Connor Chronicles, that scene with Cameron in the last episode. Authoritative commands, removal of clothing, flick knife, wait what was that last one? Ooookay.
One Doctor Who episode has the Tenth Doctor imprisoned by the Master; and being kicked around, abused, humiliated, taunted, forced to sleep on the floor, made to eat from a dog bowl, locked in a cage, and mentally and physically tortured. By his hot Arch-Enemy and Evil Overlord. This, my friends, is possibly the hottest, most salivation-worthy piece of fanservice that the most dirty-minded of all fangirls could ever hope fo — oh wait, so the Doctor's actually a wrinkled, bald, shrivelled, butt-ugly old man in this episode? Just this one particular episode of all episodes? Oh. Never mind....
Definitely a case of "Ooh... the subtext is about to get really kinky. We gotta do something about that."
Well, at least they made up for it in the Tenth Doctor's final episodes, which has some of the most explicit bondage-flavoured Foe Yay you could get on a kid's show, and provides the image for the relevant page.
In the pilot episode of Stargate SG-1 the extremely attractive Vaitiare Bandera has a fun frontal nude scene. Great... up until a Goa'uld symbiont burrows its way into her skull through the back of her neck.
Used in-universe in the CommunityChristmas Episode "Regional Holiday Music"; at one point, Annie attempts to seduce Jeff into joining the Glee club by wearing a sexy Santa outfit and singing a provocative song. Since Annie is a rather attractive young woman, all would seemingly be good — except that Annie, normally a quite intelligent person, intentionally dumbs herself down until she eventually ends up crawling around squeakily singing babyish gibberish. Jeff is visibly just as discomforted and squicked-out, if not more, as he is turned on by the whole thing. He's probably not the only one.
Jeff: Look, eventually you hit a point of diminishing returns on the sexiness. Annie: What's a deminiminmeghh?
The video for Alanis Morissette's Thank U provides a similar example: Morissette's hair neatly draped to hide her breasts is one thing but the way her genital area is blurred out actually has a fair bit of horror potential. If the blur effect had just been made a tiny bit more conspicuous, the entire un-sexy effect could've been avoided altogether.
In the early Xbox RPG Sudeki, the character Ailish is pretty much made of the "Sexual Narm" version of this trope. There's just something really Uncanny Valley about everything she does that's intended to seem sexual (which is everything, in case you were wondering).
Miss World '96 Nude was probably supposed to be arousing, but it didn't work. As Seanbaby put it in his NON-WORK SAFE review: "Growling demon heads grow smaller demon heads out of their faces, and unleash an onslaught of terror that will cease any self-gratification you might have been starting on. The maggot-dripping vision of terror does eventually turn back into a topless girl, but by then the point is moot. It doesn't matter if a lump of dead bodies burning in a fiery pit of hell turns into the most beautiful girl you've ever seen— you're still done thinking about sex for awhile."
The gameplay is based on Qix. It's supposed to be an incentive to play well and finish the level quickly; in the original game, your score started going down if you took too long. Unfortunately, as the reviewer above pointed out, it defeats the purpose of including sexy pictures in your game to begin with.
The chicks in the game look rather off, too. Some of the models' breasts are Photoshopped to a comical degree, burgeoning on Nausea Fuel once again.
Invoked in Tsukihime, where in Shiki's dream he rapes a 'doll' that is either Hisui or Kohaku. There is so little response, that even Shiki is dissatisfied. It's actually not a dream, it's Shiki sharing perceptions with SHIKI, who actually is having sex with Kohaku, and is setting up that she's, well, screwed up.
Of course all the other sex scenes in the game are so horribly written, they could count as well.
In Dragon Age: Origins, the scene you get when you consummate one of the romance options fails on many levels. The music is bad, the visuals are bad, those involved are still wearing their underwear, and it goes on far too long. Mass Effect showed that less is definitely more.
A picture of bored looking dwarf involved in such a scene is its own mini-meme.
Most eroge/visual novel translations suffer from severely mood-breaking onomatopoeias. Fellatio simply should NOT make the sound "chap chap chap".
The Sims 2 has the ability to "Woo-Hoo", or have sex. However, it's too cartoonish in noise and appearance to be arousing; it's even worse if you look under the sheets through hacking. The next game in the series cools down the comedy and adds actual moaning, but it's still not much. Making out, on the other hand...
Female Undead: Yes, they're real. They're not mine, but they're real.
At one point in Heavy Rain, there's an optional sex scene between Ethan and Madison because awkward, pointless sex is Quantic Dream's favorite thing. There's a technicolor rainbow of reasons it's more repulsive than erotic, but for starters: he's been brutally injured, he's suffering from a burgeoning case of Sanity Slippage and readily admits he could be a serial killer, she's either only sleeping with him to get the story on him if he is the serial killer he thinks he is, or she's fallen in love with him after being around him for a grand total of four hours or so, and on top of all that, it's an awkwardly-framed quick-time event that casts the player as Ethan, so you get to undress Madison in the most uncomfortable way possible.
Likewise, Fahrenheit, also known as Indigo Prophecy, features an 'interesting' sex scene. The pair are in a freezing boxcar yet strip to the skin, for one, and also one member is a recently revived cyborgized corpse who is explicitly stated to feel stone cold. It also comes completely out of nowhere, between a man and woman who have been pursuing/evading each other for the course of the game (and not in a Mind Game Ship sort of way,) and had no time at all to get to know each other.
The Secret World has a mandatory cutscene where Dragon player characters receive oral sex between being doused in fatalist philosophy. Not only does the bizarre topic distract and the sex cause a flashback to a Filth attack on Tokyo, the Dragon philosophy isn't exactly asking for consent at this point and the woman performing the deed may well be a Kumiho. Plus the game doesn't bother asking your sexual preferences: it will be a woman. Even if that's what you like, we also get a full-body shot of a half-demon bodyguard wearing nothing but tattoos and underwear beforehand to distract.
Cassie (the Morninglight groupie) is a bit less severe, but the same lack of care for your orientation and obvious ulterior motives make her approach more than a little disconcerting.
While Crescendo is already a Porn With Plot game, the rather faily body proportions (yup, Ayame and Yuka's boobs are almost bigger than their heads) and the Only Six Faces can be... distracting.
Dungeons & Dragons has the utterly notorious unofficial third party sourcebook, The Book Of Erotic Fantasy. Cringing turns to laughter as soon as you look at the pictures, half of which are photos of the same few people (presumably cut-rate models), the other half of which look like terrible Photoshop efforts.
Hell, any attempt to introduce actual rules for sexual acts in roleplaying games fall under this.
The Furry Fandom offers many opportunities for interesting couples, but it does not always work as intended. A rather infamous example comes from a kangaroo in the Rare Breed (porn) comic: "Ah yes! Squeeze my pouch-teats!".
The "furspeak" that some writers/cartoonists insist on using can also turn a story meant to be sexy (or for that matter, deep and meaningful) into hilarity in very short order. From anatomical terms like "tailhole" to the gender neutral pronouns that are often used for hermaphrodites ("shi" and "hir" being the most common combination).
Tycho:Where are the bipedal crustaceans in this calculation? The swirling, aroused gasses? The lonely, sentient space station whose hermetic bulkheads hold secret clusters of erotic delights, provided your character has both the skills and equipment? Carpe astrum, you Goddamned backwater clowns. There must be an entire universe of thrilling, dangerous, sometimes razor sharp genitalia that slavers beyond the Horsehead Nebula.
"Let me paint you a picture...imagine a Chik'har hive maiden scuttling out of her mottled carapace. Her inviting translucent heaving with ripe larvae! She retracts her guard plates, where forty alien breasts bristle with nipples! Yes...a thousand times yes!"
El Goonish Shive: Dan of all people finds the vampire-swooning stuff "a little odd". Susan reminds: the worst vamp-Fetish Retardant is the simple Fridge Logic. Click the link to extinguish those sparkles FOREVER.
Elliot was beaten by a bag full of these until he's in guilt-trippy mood and "fails at perversion" completely:
Imaginary Random Bikini Model: I'm someone's daughter, you bastard.
Kit 'N Kay Boodle: A Furry Comic in which everybody Yiffs around all the time. It might just be tolerable, if not for the fact that the characters are drawn in a cutesy cartoon style, clashing bizarrely with the rampant fucking.