"You're thinking. I used to do that, but when you grow old, you realise what it's all about: Money."
Boston Legal is a legal dramedy series than ran on ABC from 2004 to 2008. It was to the Bunny-Ears Lawyer trope what House is to Dr. Jerk. The series starts as a senior partner at the firm goes completely insane and has to be hauled off to a mental hospital, and the rest of the employees aren't much more stable. They include a renowned trial lawyer in the early stages of Alzheimer's (affectionately referred to as Mad Cow Disease by him and the rest of the firm), several lawyers suffering from everything from extreme shyness to Asperger Syndrome, and the lead, who is merely lecherous and corrupt (although he, too, suffers from occasional mental issues). Together they take on cases that are almost as odd as they are.Created by David E. Kelley. Technically a Spin-Off from The Practice, with which it shares Alan Shore, Denny Crane, a few female supporting roles who were victims of Chuck Cunningham Syndrome or otherwise Put on a Bus, and virtually nothing else. It ran for a total of 101 episodes in five seasons.
Jeffrey Coho takes this Up to Eleven during his big trial. He accuses three separate witnesses of being the murderer, including the husband and the neighbor of the victim. Lastly, he accuses the mother of a defendant of being the real murderer of the defendant's lover, in order to get the son acquitted. While Jeffrey thinks their story of the mother being in an incestuous relationship with her son and having killed out of jealousy is just a cover story, it's actually true.
Alan does this in an overly melodramatic and obviously insincere manner during another trial, and tries to excuse it to the judge by saying he had to do something to distract the jury from the witness's damaging testimony.
This is played straight in another episode where Katie Lloyd asks the husband of the victim if he was the murderer.
Subverted in yet another episode, where Alan and Denny separately represent two sons who are both accused of killing their father. They secretly agree to have both the boys accuse the other one of being the murderer while on the stand, while pretending that they each pulled this trick on the other. The jury can't decide if it was one boy or the other, or if it was both boys, or someone else entirely, creating reasonable doubt.
Author Tract: And how! Especially in the later years, many cases involved the firm getting involved in political issues and Alan Shore would invariably deliver a closing argument in the author's voice. Lampshaded in "Selling Sickness":
Judge Weldon: Counsel, what are you doing?
Alan:(standing on crate) Getting on my soapbox, Your Honor, I do it once a week.
Character Filibuster: Oh, so many times. Partially justified in that they're lawyers and it's their job to give long speeches, but more often than not their closings had only a tangential relationship to the case at hand. Alan Shore is basically the epitome of this trope.
It's a trick that legendary civil libertarian lawyer Clarence Darrow used to employ. No one since Darrow has ever come close to doing it right... Except the fictional Alan Shore.
A father once pulled a gun on Alan at work after Alan agreed to represent the guy's ex-wife in a custody battle.
The son of a woman whose accused murderer was cleared by Denny Crane and his father once took Denny Crane and much of the rest of the supporting cast hostage in order to stage the trial again.
Shirley Schmidt is comparatively strait-laced compared to most of the loons on this show, even though her entrance into the series in an innuendo-laden discussion with Alan Shore is something of a Crowning Moment of Funny for both of them. She's hilarious in the office, but in public she's the serious partner.
Paul Lewiston is almost entirely devoid of a sense of humour.
Carl Sack gets brought on board by Shirley to be this to the rest of the firm.
Deadpan Snarker: Pretty much everybody, but Shirley Schmidt and,arguably, Paul Lewiston are reigning King and Queen of this trope.
Demoted to Extra: Sally Heep (appearing in two season 3 episodes), Paul Lewiston (after season 3), Brad Chase (appearing once after season 3), Denise Bauer (appearing once in season 5).
Downer Ending: A lot of the time, especially any time they win when the client was a dick (too many examples to specify) and when they lose and the client wasn't a dick (the season one ending, when they fought valiantly to get a guy off death row and lost. The season ended with his execution).
Emmy Bait: Amazingly parodied and lampshaded. Denny talks about how he likes to pretend "that everything I'm doing is on television" and calls an abortion case bad television. Alan tells him to "just think of this as our Emmy episode." Denny Crane even says at one point that he's won an Emmy. Note that this is Denny Crane (a lawyer) saying this!
Flanderisation: In the last season of The Practice and the first season of Boston Legal, Alan was far more amoral and willing to bend laws for moral reasons. Denny was an eccentric but otherwise brilliant attorney who had occasional problems with Alzheimer's (bad enough to forget the facts of a case, good enough to engineer a mistrial as a result). By the second season Alan was becoming a lot less amoral, more like wise-cracking, and Denny was becoming so incompetent that the other partners would never let him work on a case for anything other than appearances.
Friends with Benefits: Denise attempts to maintain a friends-with-benefits arrangement with both Brad and Jeffrey simultaneously, without either of them knowing about the other.
Frivolous Lawsuit: These seem to make up about half of Crane, Poole, and Schmidt's cases.
To elaborate, The Practice ended with Alan joining Crane, Poole and Schmidt. Boston Legal begins with Alan having settled in for what must be a year (if you go by Alan's claim to have known Denny for six years in the series finale). The first season contains perhaps the most references to things that happened to Alan on The Practice, given that there were more carry-over characters like Tara and Sally and Catherine Piper, than there were in later seasons.
Funny Aneurysm / Reverse Funny Aneurysm (depending on your politics): One episode airing in early 2005 was about the firm successfully defending a school district that forced science teachers to teach Intelligent Design (creationism with the serial numbers filed off) as an alternative to evolution, firing those that refused. In real life a similar case really happened later that year, with the plaintiffs and school board using arguments essentially identical to those from the show (although at much greater length and with everyone showing their work). The school board lost so badly the movement to get ID taught in schools basically died that day. had to go into hibernation for a few years.
Denny: Alan, the thing you have to realize, and someday you will, is a person only has one true love in his life. Like it or not, your true love is me. We may not have sex, but ours is an affair of the heart. And we do spoon well.
Hypocrite: Denny seems to get upset when Donny turns his back on him after find out that he's not really Denny's boy, whereas Denny basically did exactly the same thing years ago, after finding out Donny wasn't his son.
Alan: Do we win too much? Are we losing all suspense?
I Want You to Meet an Old Friend of Mine: Heather Locklear, one of William Shatner's old friends, played Denny Crane's client. Christian Clemenson, one of James Spader's old friends, played Jerry Espenson. Unfortunately the show was cancelled before Spock could agree to do an appearance.
Armin Shimerman plays a judge in the first few episodes of season 3. In one scene, he and former Deep Space Nine castmate Rene Auberjonois face off with all the chemistry of the Quark/Odo exchanges.
Patrice Kelly's daughter was murdered by a man who got off on not guilty on grounds of temporary insanity because he had skilled lawyers. So, she goes to Alan Shore to announce that she's going to kill the man and wants to be found not guilty by reason of temporary insanity.
Catherine kills Bernard, who killed his mother and neighbor.
Lost Episode: The end of the first season was pre-empted to allow Grey's Anatomy to establish itself. As a result some of those episodes were cut, and the production team used the footage to create new episodes.
Mood Whiplash: One moment they'll joke about Alzheimer's, then the next it will suddenly be a serious issue. For a supposed comedy show, it's disturbingly dark to have the first series finale end with the sounds of a man gasping and struggling for his life as he's about to be executed while the credits roll.
Denny Crane can identify guest characters and season finales, and isn't shy about discussing them. Characters talk obliquely of getting their own spin-offs. A heated argument between two characters regarding the merits of Obama and McCain was on an episode that aired the day before Election Day.
Heck, people have the show's theme song as cell phone ringtones. And in one of the final episodes someone sues the Network for not having television programing with older casts.
You know, the only show unafraid to have its stars over 50 is Bo... Gee, I can't say it. (gesturing toward the cameras and the audience) It would, um, break the wall.
Another time, when an extra opens their mouth to support a one-off character:
Alan: You're an extra. You don't get to talk.
And, of course:
Denny: Welcome to Boston Legal... Cue the music! (The opening credits begin to roll inter-cut with shots of Jeffery Coho looking absolutely stupefied).
The Theme Music Power-Up gets this treatment a number of times- when Shirley hires Jerry, he mentions that he has a favourite song he hums when happy. After prompting from Shirley, he proceeds to hum and sing along with the theme for the entire duration of the opening credits, much to Shirley's bemusement.
And again when Alan and Denny go to LA, and Denny proceeds to play the first few bars of the theme with a kazoo.
Not So Different: Many sources are quick to point out that Alan and Denny are best friends despite being so ideologically different. While it is true that they are on opposite sides of the political spectrum, the reason that they are such great friends is down to the fact that, politics and personal interests aside, they are very similar personality wise, particularly when it comes to women.
Off on a Technicality: Claire gets one of her clients off by claiming that while he took someone else's cell phone, and while he didn't give it back when he realized it wasn't his, he didn't have the intent to steal the phone at the moment he took it from his victim - he just thought it was his own phone.
Once an Episode: At the end of every episode, Alan and Denny sit out on a balcony and talk.
This only gradually became a thing. The first season is noted for its Early-Installment Weirdness in that the episodes do not often end with a balcony scene.
One of Our Own: Alan frequently has to help Denny out of some legal trouble, or else help him to sue when Denny feels he's been wronged. Conversely Alan occasionally finds himself in legal trouble, which results in Denny having to back him up.
Only Sane Man: Shirley Schmidt, Paul Lewiston, and Carl Sack. To a lesser extent, Denise Bauer, Brad Chase, and Claire Simms.
So, really, it's more like Denny Crane and Alan Shore are the Only Insane Men.
They more than make up for it, however.
Over Crank: Usually occurs partway into a character walking to the next scene. Everything starts off normal, then as they round the corner, everything slows to increase the drama.
The Perfectionist: Denny has never lost a case. Nowadays he only takes cases he thinks it's a lock to win, and/or takes second chair in cases so if his side does lose it doesn't count for his stats.
Practice Kiss: Denise gives Brad one of these to try to find out why all his ex-girlfriends have called him the worst kisser in the world.
Promotion to Opening Titles: At least a few, but arguably Jerry Espenson is the most notable, receiving a thorough introduction and fleshing out in seasons 2&3 before becoming a fully-fledged cast member in season 4.
The Rainman: Jerry Espenson, the brilliant attorney with Asperger's Syndrome.
Refuge in Audacity: Constantly. Did I mention the time the firm represented Nantucket in its quest to obtain a nuclear weapon?
Revolving Door Casting: Over the course of only five seasons they experimented with 19 main characters, of which only 7 made it to the series finale. (Alan, Denny, Shirley, Katie, Jerry, Carl, Paulnote who was only a guest star at this point)
Running Gag: Denny referring to his Alzheimer's as "mad cow."
Screw the Rules, I Have Money!: Denny Crane (as per the quote at the top of the page). Also Daniel Post, who uses his money to manipulate cancer studies to his benefit.
Shaggy Dog Story / Shoot the Shaggy Dog: The case of Joseph Washington. Katie and Jerry get him off the hook for a murder he didn't commit and the DA is lawful enough to then immediately proceed a lead that surfaced during the trial. Then, it turns out that the community he tried to join shuns him due to a prior (false) rape conviction. They get the victim to recant the statement and he's off the hook again, but the community still won't accept him and ask him to leave. And then, he's murdered.
Part of what distinguishes the two is the fact that none of the Practice characters made any guest appearances. While this is arguably justified in that every non-female member of Young, Frutt and Berluti hated Alan by the end of the Practice, David E. Kelley noticeably opened the door for Eugene to appear on Boston Legal as a judge, which he never did.
Strawman Political: Alan Shore very frequently goes up against broad conservative caricatures, and always wins. Oddly, he himself resembles the conservative straw man of a corrupt liberal trial lawyer.
Denny Crane is a straw man political caricature of a conservative gun nut, although this did allow him to save the day a few times. Keeping guns in your office seems so much less crazy when you just used them to shoot the man about to kill your friends.
The show is more than self-aware enough to strawman consciously, and the real beauty of it is its use of the basic fact that a lawyer is supposed to advocate for his client: Alan is a liberal, but he's not always on the liberal side of the case, and Brad, a conservative, passionately defends a number of liberal causes. (Denny, for his part, is very good at avoiding cases he doesn't want, up to and including shooting his client.
Straight Man: A trifecta — Paul Lewiston, Brad Chase, and Shirley Schmidt.
Suspiciously Similar Substitute: Boston Legal's Lori Colson (played by Monica Potter) to The Practice's Hannah Rose (played by Rebecca De Mornay). Both were blonde, attractive attorneys who held positions of responsibility within Crane, Poole & Schmidt. Both were attracted to Alan but repelled by him ethically. The only real difference is that Hannah Rose was more aggressive than Lori Colson.
Paul Lewiston was basically Matthew Billings' substitute. While very different looks and personality wise, their role was the same. Both characters acted as traffic cop around the firm, keeping Denny in order. The biggest difference was that Billings believed in Denny's competence, whereas Paul does everything he can to make sure Denny doesn't take cases.
Take That: Texas, Utah, Fox News, the New York Yankees, Scientology, the list goes on...
Theme Tune Cameo: Jerry Espenson sings along with the theme song during the opening credits of one episode. Denny Crane plays it on a kazoo to usher in a different episode. Not just a kazoo, a trombone kazoo.
Verbal Tic: Lincoln has a particularily noticable one. He uses heavy emphasis every time he says "Shirley Schmidt" (and he says it a lot). It doesn't really help that the camera almost always zooms in on his face when he says it.