Video Game: Goat Simulator

"Goat Simulator is a small, broken and stupid game. It was made in a couple of weeks so don’t expect a game in the size and scope of GTA with goats. In fact, you’re better off not expecting anything at all actually. To be completely honest, it would be best if you’d spend your $10 on a hula hoop, a pile of bricks, or maybe a real-life goat."
Coffee Stain Studios

Pretty much Exactly What It Says on the Tin: Goat Simulator is a simulator game in which you play as a goat. Originally a silly experiment done internally by Coffee Stain Studios, but it unexpectedly gathered interest from gamers. Goat Simulator is a treasure trove of deliberately broken physics and silliness.

Buy it here or on Steam here. An Xbox One version was released in 2015.

Tropes present include:

  • Absurdly High Level Cap: Goat MMO Simulator has a level cap of 101. Leveling up does nothing, but you get an achievement for reaching it.
  • Action Bomb: Microwave Goat's special ability makes it explode, ragdolling the microwave and knocking over anything close by.
  • Alien Abduction: You can trigger one on the city map. You get stranded in space until you choose to respawn.
  • Animate Inanimate Object:
    • Shopping Goat, a shopping cart.
    • Goat MMO Simulator has Microwave Goat, a microwave on legs.
  • Anti-Frustration Features: Given the many hilarious ways you might get yourself stuck, there's a handy respawn option that drops you back at the spawn point.
  • Ascended Glitch: Word of God says that the only bugs that will be fixed are the crash bugs. Everything else, particularly the variety that involves the physics engine doing weird things, will be kept in because it's funny. The boxed version even boasts that it has "More bugs than any other game!"
  • Awesomeness Meter: You can get points for stuff like making things explode, crashing parties, and doing 360 flips.
  • Awesome Moment of Crowning: Becoming King/Queen of the Goats. Which coincidentally confers the power to make it rain goats.
  • Bilingual Bonus: The traffic signs above the road tunnels in the first map are written in Swedish. They translate into Heaven and Hell, respectively.
  • Blatant Lies: Much like Surgeon Simulator 2013, the veracity of this simulation is questionable, to say the least.
  • Blow You Away: Finding the Wind Statue on the beach map and returning it to the Wind Altar gives you the power to create localized tornadoes.
  • Body Horror:
    • The physics in this game can result in some fairly disturbing-looking positions for anyone involved. Walk up any ladder and watch the goat's head twist in all sorts of unnatural ways. The Demon Goat power activates a black hole in front of your goat that can inflict this on other objects and people.
    • Combine two or more goats when at least one isn't just a cosmetic change. For example, Space Goat and Ripped Goat. The June 2014 update actually added this example as Slendergoat on the beach map.
  • Call a Smeerp a "Rabbit": The various "goats":
    • Ripped Goat: sheep
    • Tall Goat: giraffe
    • Feather Goat: ostrich
    • Giant Goat: whale
    • Classy Goat: penguin
    • Old Goat: T. rex
  • Circle of Standing Stones: Goathenge. Destroying it is a unique action worth more points than normal.
  • Combos: Like a skateboarding game, you get points for doing flips and spins. Hilariously, the "combo counter" doesn't settle for boring double, triple, and quadruple. Using various tricks, it's possible to go right past real numbers and into Integer Overflow numbers, which when done enough can actually net the Hard level high score achievement in a single combo. In fact, if you go too far, it is possible to achieve a literal integer overflow and do a combo so insanely high that the score resets to 1.
  • Cool Mask: You can earn these by completing some of the objectives, such as going to the Goat Castle and proclaiming yourself King/Queen of All Goats by sitting on the throne.
  • Creator Cameo: Coffee Stain Studios is an actual building in the map, and you get an achievement for finding it and going inside. You'll find the developers working on Goat Simulator.
  • Deal with the Devil: You can sacrifice five humans or goats to the Blood Goat to become Devil Goat. You can also sacrifice the two Walker statues and the G-2 robot to become Sanctum Goat.
  • Developer's Room:
    • In Goat MMO Simulator, you can find the game's servers in a hidden room. Hitting them repeatedly messes up the graphics, starting with the textures failing, and then everything becoming wireframe and removing the status displays, until eventually the player is booted from the game. You get an achievement for it.
  • The Dev Team Thinks of Everything: It's possible to destroy the hang glider by licking the Boulder of Death and dragging it to the top of the crane. Doing so will net the message "How? Seriously, how did you manage that?"
  • Die, Chair! Die!: There are very few things in this game you can't headbutt for points. Pretty much anything not nailed down is fair game.
  • Everything's Deader with Zombies: The recently announced (as of this writing) GoatZ. Also a Take That as it prominently advertises itself as the "First Survival Game Not in Early Access".
  • Extreme Omni Goat: One of the in-game mods lets you play as this as a Yoshi parody.
  • Fetch Quest: Most of the quests in Goat MMO Simulator are some variation of "Find x."
  • Going Through the Motions: There is only one short animation loop for dancing. Finding a big crowd doing the same dance move over and over again, perfectly synched with one another to boot, is both hilarious and slightly unnerving.
  • Ground Pound: Tank Goat's special ability makes him pound the ground, damaging anything nearby.
  • Hitbox Dissonance: In line with the intentional brokenness of the rest of the game, the player character in Flappy Goat has an extremely unforgiving hitbox in which even if you come within two pixels from an obstacle, you'll still lose.
  • Hookers and Blow: On the beach map, it's possible to find a house with a pile of "sugar" neatly cut into a line. Licking it increases the game speed for 30 seconds or so.
  • Horse of a Different Color: You can get people to ride you with the June 2014 update.
  • Involuntary Dance: Deadgoa7's active power forces everyone in the area to dance, even when they're fleeing in terror.
  • Jet Pack: You can pick up a jet pack on the city map. You cannot, however, control your flight. There's also Rocket-Skate Goat. In this case, your legs just bounce around in every direction and it does absolutely nothing. You can even walk around.
  • Joke Character:
    • Giant Goat. Understandably, a beached whale is a bit difficult to move around.
    • Shopping Goat. A shopping cart is easier to move around, and can even jump, but it's an inanimate object that can't headbutt.
    • The Microwave class in the MMO update. It has all the abilities of a normal goat, but moves slower and its special abilities aren't all that great.
  • Knockback: As part of the messed-up physics, a lot of things will cause your goat to go flying across the map.
  • Ladder Physics: Goats climb ladders by spastically spinning their head and tongue around while walking through the air by the ladder.
  • Lightning Bruiser: Classy Goat (a penguin) is the slowest goat when walking, but has the fastest running speed in the game.
  • Mushroom Samba: The beach map has mushrooms you can eat by licking. Doing so causes the goat's head to enlarge. You have to put down a few of them to get the full effect, or else it will only enlarge an ear.
  • No Fair Cheating: While the slowdown feature slows everything down, including the music, it does not slow down Flappy Goat.
  • Not Quite Flight:
    • Angel Goat reduces gravity to a fraction of normal as long as its power is active. You can leap off the tallest building in the game and land with the grace of a cat. This makes getting absurd combos hilariously easy, and is great for general travel. The Flappy Goat mutator has a similar effect, giving the goat wings which grant a glide ability. Combining them is the closest thing to actual flight the game has.
    • The MMO update adds in the anti-gravity mutator, which brings it even closer. However, it doesn't turn gravity off completely, but reduces it to a small fraction of normal. Your distances are greatly improved (far larger than the map's area), but turning in midair is hard and your goat will eventually start falling. Combining Anti-Gravity with the Tank's charge attack allows faster travel, and can be quite effective if you still have quests to complete.
  • Overly Long Tongue: Licking something causes the goat's tongue to stuck to it... and stretch to freakishly long distances if that thing gets stuck somewhere, or gets hit by a car.
  • Ragdoll Physics: Knocking over human characters will cause them to flop to the ground in a very strange way. Your goat will do this too — in fact you can get it to "ragdoll" on command by pressing a button, which is actually vital to getting one of the trophies and one of the achievements.
  • Raiders of the Lost Parody: The Boulder of Death, which is the only object in the game that can destroy moving cars.
  • Rewarding Vandalism: You get points and achievements for breaking stuff.
  • Rouge Angles of Satin: Sent up with the MMO update's Rouge class, which uses a variety of makeup without being seen. Yes, it's actually spelled rouge.
  • Rule of Funny: Why are the physics so messed up? Why can you lick things and then drag them around with your tongue? Why are there trampolines at the bottom of an empty swimming pool? This is why. The creators have outright admitted this: one of the key features on the Steam store page is "MILLIONS OF BUGS!", with the disclaimer that anything that doesn't crash the game is "hilarious and we're keeping it". You even get an achievement for crashing the game.
  • Scoring Points: The "goal" of the game is to complete objectives and earn points. Some of these objectives are given to you, most you have to find for yourself. Some of the basic ways to earn points are by destroying things, jumping over things, or licking things.
  • Shout-Out:
    • The Official Launch Trailer uses a reverse slow motion effect similar to the famous Dead Island trailer.
    • Blowing up a gas station unlocks the "Michael Bay" achievement.
    • Tony Hawk's Pro Skater's influence is evident in the goat tricks and scoring system, as well as the wheelie system.
    • Completing the Ritual achievement will cause the caption "Blood For The Blood Goat" to appear.
      • Becoming "Queen Of The Goats" will cause the caption "Goats For The Goat Throne" to appear.
    • Entering Coffee Stain Studios will allow you to play Flappy Goat.
    • Deadmau5 appears DJing a party on top of a hotel. You can steal his mask to become "Deadgoa7".
    • The goat transformations are full of these.
      • Italian Dinosaur Goat lets you eat things and lay explosive eggs like Yoshi, and was in fact named Yoshi Goat in an earlier build.
      • Blue Streak is essentially Sonic Goat, letting you spin in a circle to charge up a super-fast ram.
      • Goatborn lets you push stuff around by speaking the Dragon language.
    • Sanctum has a slew of references:
      • Two Walker statues and the G-2 Companion can be found in the world. The latter tries to punch you.
      • The player can become Sanctum Goat, gaining red hair and an occasional flaming head, by sacrificing all three of the above.
      • Space Goat lets you turn into a Bobble Head, which also shows up as a separate goat on the beach map. Slendergoat is created by combining Space Goat and Ripped Goat.
      • Robot Goat lets you turn into the G-2.
    • The beach map has Minecraft blocks which turn you into a Minecraft goat. Collecting all three lets you place wood, grass, and stone.
    • Slendergoat can be found on the beach map.
    • Dive into the sewer on the beach map. Inside you can find Michael Bay Ninja Turtles... that look like Shrek for some reason.
    • Near the dam on the beach map is a crashed spaceship. On the hotel balcony is a towel with the number "42" printed on it. Combine the latter with the former and you become Hitchhiker Goat, which has the power to summon whales from the sky.
    • The beach map has a hat store. You can steal money from around the map and trade it for hats.
    • One of the villages in Goat MMO Simulator is a reference to Tristram from Diablo.
  • Stuff Blowing Up: Some things explode when you run into them. Also how you get the Michael Bay achievement, by blowing up the gas station.
  • Stylistic Suck: Could easily be called Stylistic Suck: The Game. It's a mediocre premise in a game that's intentionally filled to the brim with glitches and terrible ragdoll physics. It's essentially if someone made a terrible G-mod video into a playable game.
  • Super Strength: Ripped Goat comes with a massive increase to headbutt power. The one you fight can headbutt you high into the air.
  • Synthetic Voice Actor: The chat has the same text-to-speech chat as Moonbase Alpha.
  • Take That: The achievement for reaching level 101 in MMO is titled "Better than Warlords of Dredmor". The first of the two games referenced has a level cap of 100, one lower than Goat MMO Simulator.
  • Unlockable Content: Collecting trophies and completing certain in-game events unlock new goat skins (some are applied immediately, others can be activated in a Custom Game). These include Tall Goat (giraffe), Feather Goat (ostrich), Giant Goat (whale), and many more.
  • Up to Eleven: It is possible to flip so many times that you achieve "Integer Overflow" combos.
  • Villain Protagonist: The goat can beat up innocent civilians, destroy stuff, and participate in a Satanic ritual, among other things.
  • Violation of Common Sense: Getting hit by cars and licking random things gives you points! It's even an in-game goal.
  • Walking Disaster Area: Repulsive Goat's ability emits a stench which is literally repulsive; anything that gets near/touches the goat is instantly repelled, assuming it is an object the goat would be capable of moving. Intact and moving cars aren't affected, instead causing the goat to ragdoll and stretch from the interaction.
  • Wall Run: A new feature added with the June 2014 update. By running and then jumping at a wall, the goat will run up the wall for a brief period. If there's another nearby wall, you can jump to that wall and keep running. Angel Goat can scale a sheer wall through its hover ability.